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Speaker 1: Jubile phone taps are brought to you by bud Light.

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Speaker 1: Bud Light the perfect beer for whatever happens, an official

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Speaker 1: beer partner of your Seattle Seahawks. All right, it's not

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Speaker 1: for your brand new phone tap today. Thanksgiving was a

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Speaker 1: rough one for me. You know. It was all alone

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Speaker 1: at home at my place. Family was coming over in

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Speaker 1: a few hours and I hadn't even started cooking the

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Speaker 1: turkey yet. So I was panicked, and that's why I

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Speaker 1: called the experts to help me out. You'll see what

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Speaker 1: I mean in your brand new phone tap right now,

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Speaker 1: there's another JAP twenty. Welcome to to be connected to

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Speaker 1: our Turkey talk line for information on turkey preparation and

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Speaker 1: cooking assistance. Press or say three. Please remain on the

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Speaker 1: line and a Turkey expert will be with you as

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Speaker 1: quickly as possible. Thank you for calling. How can I

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Speaker 1: help you, Susie, I really need your help. Okay. I

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Speaker 1: think I screwed up everything with my turkey for Thanksgiving. Um, okay, well,

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Speaker 1: well we can get that figured out. I think the

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Speaker 1: whole time, I can no thank come down. It's okay,

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Speaker 1: well figure this out. I have family coming over and

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Speaker 1: I think I've screwed everything up. Sir, It's gonna be fine.

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Speaker 1: We'll get this figured out. Just tell me your name.

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Speaker 1: My name is Colby. Hi Colby. We're going to get

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Speaker 1: this figured out. Don't don't, don't cry. We'll get it

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Speaker 1: all taking care of. Okay, this is my first time

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Speaker 1: doing this. I know it's stressful. I understand that that

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Speaker 1: I'm here with you. We're going to get this figured out.

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Speaker 1: I've been doing this for a very long time. You

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Speaker 1: can trust me. Thank you, here with you. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: It's just embarrassing not to be able to do this.

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Speaker 1: Is the first time people are coming over if you're thanksgiving,

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Speaker 1: you know, I understand it's very stressful. But you don't

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Speaker 1: need to be embarrassed. I will be able to help

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Speaker 1: you with this. Okay, Okay, what is the size of

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Speaker 1: your turkey? He's big, he's you. Yeah, one, that's good.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a lot of people coming over? That's nice? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but um, can you tell me specifically how many pounds?

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Speaker 1: Do you know? How many pounds? I don't know, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I couldn't get close enough to get it

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Speaker 1: on the scale. Yeah, I'm sorry for that. Again, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't get close enough to get it on the scale.

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Speaker 1: I gave it a sedative to hopefully weigh it. But

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Speaker 1: you what you did? What? Now you did it? What?

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Speaker 1: I gave it a sedative, But now I can I

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Speaker 1: can't weigh it because I can tell it's starting to

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Speaker 1: wake up. Well what do you what do you mean

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Speaker 1: it's waking up? Oh? God, he looks pissed. Are we

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Speaker 1: dealing with a live turkey? How did you get a

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Speaker 1: live turkey? I thought it would be fun. I got

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Speaker 1: it from a farm out in the country. I thought

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Speaker 1: it'd be a fun family thing to do for Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 1: But now I'm really second guessing. Okay, Um, Kobe, it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I've actually never dealt with anything like this. People are

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Speaker 1: family's gonna be here in three hours. They gotta kill

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Speaker 1: this thing, now, Yeah, I think that you do. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell you. You can tell

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Speaker 1: me how to kill it. How do you do it? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to kill the turkey. I got

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Speaker 1: him in the corner of the room. I think we're

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Speaker 1: just gonna jump on him. Here we go. I'm gonna don't. God,

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Speaker 1: you need to call nine one. Do not attack the turkey? Oh,

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Speaker 1: my god, mother, just pack me in the arm. Kobe,

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Speaker 1: you'll pay for pecking me a little crazy. You're in

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Speaker 1: your heart, I am no. Oh my god, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: oh my god. Sir Kobe, Kobe, Susie there, Kobe? Here?

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Speaker 1: Are you? There? Is this? You? Yeah? What the hell's

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Speaker 1: this happening? I think I got him? You got it?

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Speaker 1: You killed it? Yeah? Yeah, the oven is already preheated

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Speaker 1: and ready to go. What do I do now? Have

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Speaker 1: to like pluck it? Um? Yeah, I don't know anything

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Speaker 1: about that either. I'm sorry. Nobody told me those things

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Speaker 1: put up such a fight. Oh man, Colby, hold on,

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Speaker 1: I need to know. Are you Is this a joke?

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Speaker 1: You just why would you think it's a joke. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. You just spent the last five minutes fighting

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Speaker 1: a turkey, Like, is this really happening? What's going on

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Speaker 1: right now? I did? I fought a turkey because I

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Speaker 1: got a live one instead of a already dead one

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Speaker 1: from the store, and I thought that would be the

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Speaker 1: best way to do it. Colby, you have to be

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Speaker 1: honest with me. Is this a prank phone call? Okay? Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I am? Are you serious? Yeah? I am? You don't

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Speaker 1: know me but my name is Jubil and I host

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Speaker 1: a radio show and I'd do prank phone calls, and

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Speaker 1: I thought it would be funny to call you today

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Speaker 1: and ask how to kill a live turkey. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I hope I didn't take up too much of your time.

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Speaker 1: I know you have more important things to do. I

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Speaker 1: can't believe that just happened. Thank you for helping me

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Speaker 1: slaughter that turkey. I think you've done a great job today.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead, take the rest of the day off if

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Speaker 1: you like. Oh God, you're terrible. Wake up every morning

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Speaker 1: with jewel phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties two

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Speaker 1: point five