Speaker 1: Hi, suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared and
Speaker 1: I heart radio podcast. Hey, guys, welcome to an all
Speaker 1: new episode of Help I such a Dating with Me Vanessa,
Speaker 1: my two lovely co hosts, Dean and Jared. Am I
Speaker 1: introducing the person next to me right now? No, let's
Speaker 1: look at it a little Let's tease it just a
Speaker 1: little bit. Let's also let's give a round of a
Speaker 1: plause effective. Yeah. Okay, First of all, I thought this
Speaker 1: podcast was I thought we were recording this podcast two
Speaker 1: hours later than what it was supposed to be, so
Speaker 1: I woke up we late. So then brush my teeth.
Speaker 1: I'm still wearing my pajama top um and t M
Speaker 1: I but god, diarrhea. Okay, I'm sorry about that. Also,
Speaker 1: for context, this episode is being recorded live in Tahoe.
Speaker 1: This is the first time we've all been in studio
Speaker 1: together for a long time. Yeah. This is my favorite studio.
Speaker 1: By the way, so great bug ever done an out
Speaker 1: of studio recording. Because the moose head above us, we're
Speaker 1: looking at a beautiful lake, We're looking at a beautiful
Speaker 1: human being that we still will not introduce. I don't
Speaker 1: know why. I don't know when but just now sitting
Speaker 1: at the table, Tories here as well, and the beautiful
Speaker 1: Tories amazing, But we're not talking about Tori. Can't we
Speaker 1: just give it up for Tory, Danielle and Amy and
Speaker 1: Hannah for helping us get here, well me get here.
Speaker 1: So obviously I live in Montreal and we were flying
Speaker 1: from Montreal to Chicago, Chicago to Lake Tahoe, and I
Speaker 1: remember saying, everybody knows who follows my Instagram have the
Speaker 1: worst travel luck. Either they lose my luggage or my flee,
Speaker 1: my flights cancel or delayed. Obviously, my flight was delayed
Speaker 1: from Montreal to Chicago, and then from Chicago because there
Speaker 1: were like over five hundred flights that were canceled or
Speaker 1: delayed because of storm and thundershowers and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: we got pushed back for another like four hours, and
Speaker 1: so we had to stay overnight in Chicago. And then
Speaker 1: there was a huge heatwave in Chicago's like a hundred
Speaker 1: it and for degrees or something crazy like that. And
Speaker 1: now here we are, well here, I am. I keep
Speaker 1: how many flights did it take for you to get here?
Speaker 1: You went Montreal to Toronto, Montreal to Chicago, Chicago to flights,
Speaker 1: but we ended up saying with the delay and then
Speaker 1: we ended up staying in Chicago for overnight. You really
Speaker 1: do have the worst luck. Yeah, And I'm not even
Speaker 1: last time when we were a NAPA member canceled. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't do these small trips anymore. I
Speaker 1: love you guys, but I don't know. It's not a
Speaker 1: small trip, by the way, anything anything over like i'd
Speaker 1: say a two and a half three hours a major city. Well,
Speaker 1: it's a long way to come all the way from
Speaker 1: the East coast. Yeah, don't. I'm not really brushed up
Speaker 1: on my Canadian geography, but I know Montreal is pretty
Speaker 1: far like New York. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Speaker 1: Pretty much. The point is you made it, I made it,
Speaker 1: and you have your very special cargo with you. I do.
Speaker 1: I would assume that this person did not have to
Speaker 1: fly in the overhead bin or underneath because it's a
Speaker 1: human being. Human being. Do you just want to introduce him? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna is what we're gonna do. We're gonna introduce
Speaker 1: him real quick, and then we're going to jump into
Speaker 1: a quick break. I don't know why. I'm nervous, and
Speaker 1: I'm pretty nervous. I'm getting the sweats, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And then after we introduced jump into a break and
Speaker 1: then we're going to dive deep into the psychology of
Speaker 1: this theogy of this human being. Okay, I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit nervous. So I actually tried prepping him um on
Speaker 1: our way over to Lake Tahoe, so I brought with
Speaker 1: me my boyfriend, Mr silver Box, Joshua boxed himself, the
Speaker 1: silver Wolf. The Silver Wolf. Well, josh first of all,
Speaker 1: thank you for coming and thank you for dating our beautiful,
Speaker 1: beautiful co host Vanessa. We don't really thank you. Should
Speaker 1: you should? I don't know. There's someone that always gives
Speaker 1: like the best compliments, and Dean is the one that
Speaker 1: will try to extract the most juicy gossip out of you.
Speaker 1: So just think I can work with that. I'm happy
Speaker 1: to be here. I build you up, make you feel
Speaker 1: safe and beautiful, and then he knocked me down. It okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know how. I don't know how how much
Speaker 1: digging I'm gonna do today, but we do want to
Speaker 1: talk to you guys a little bit more about your relationship.
Speaker 1: And because we we've heard the story from Vanessa's side, obviously,
Speaker 1: and you remember the story. Of course I remember the story,
Speaker 1: but I just want to I think it'd be cool
Speaker 1: to listen to you guys just talk about your relationship,
Speaker 1: how it all started. I like hearing the story from
Speaker 1: both parties, because most of the time the story is
Speaker 1: not the same. But before we do that, we're going
Speaker 1: to take one quick break and then dive right into it.
Speaker 1: We're back. We're back, Okay, welcome back to the help.
Speaker 1: By second, okay, we're back with Vanessa and Josh, and
Speaker 1: it's me and Jared sitting on one side of the table,
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Josh sitting on the other side. It's almost
Speaker 1: like a panel I was looking for. It's exactly what
Speaker 1: it is. That's why I woke up with read this morning,
Speaker 1: a little stress. We just put out my nervous so
Speaker 1: I didn't mention how nervous I am. This is the
Speaker 1: first time I've done a podcast, so well, it's the
Speaker 1: first time you've ever been on a podcast. We're popping
Speaker 1: your podcastely, we're doing that today. That's fantastic. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: I feel I feel great. I feel very likely. Jered,
Speaker 1: what kind of questions you have for them to start off?
Speaker 1: With all right, just kind of want to hear the
Speaker 1: origin stories, right, Yeah, I kind of want to know
Speaker 1: exactly from the beginning, because we've heard a lot about
Speaker 1: you from Vanessa. Um, all good and all all. I
Speaker 1: try to get her to say mean things all the time,
Speaker 1: but she never does not a single thing. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1: It makes me throw up a little bit. But other
Speaker 1: than that, no, it's it's fantastic. Um. So, how did
Speaker 1: you guys meet? From your perspective, so we met um,
Speaker 1: To be quite honest, Vanessa had done a photo shoot
Speaker 1: with my sisters in Montreal. So I have three sisters
Speaker 1: who are I grew up in Montreal. Vanessa grew up
Speaker 1: in Montreal. But we never actually met each other. And
Speaker 1: I needed to wrap every once in a while. Okay,
Speaker 1: well because because so his so, his sister's owned this
Speaker 1: restaurant in Montreal that I would go to, my my
Speaker 1: family would go to. And all of his best friends
Speaker 1: are Italian who are also really good friends with my sister.
Speaker 1: So my circle knew about his circle, but we just
Speaker 1: never knew of each other. Is this an Italian restaurant? No, No,
Speaker 1: it's a salad bar. That's the name of it Mandy
Speaker 1: Salad's Mandy Salad. Any any listeners in Montre very good,
Speaker 1: gotta go there, I gotta try. Yeah. Um. So I
Speaker 1: remember um seeing the photos that came out from the
Speaker 1: photo shoot that she had done with my sisters, which
Speaker 1: was for International Women's Days. Was a really cool photo shoot.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, this is one beautiful woman,
Speaker 1: and um, I figured that I would try reaching out
Speaker 1: to her on on Instagram. So you slid into the
Speaker 1: d M. S I slid into the DN an expression
Speaker 1: I was not familiar with at the time, but now
Speaker 1: I know exactly what it means. We're one for one.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be um comparing your story to what I
Speaker 1: hear from Vanessa, and we're one for one. So okay, now,
Speaker 1: what was your opening line? My opening line may or
Speaker 1: may not have involved my four year old nephew you. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my nephew, Sonny and I were having a conversation, a
Speaker 1: very limited one, but you know, he made it into
Speaker 1: the d M and I basically told her that he
Speaker 1: had given me some advice that I should reach out
Speaker 1: to her. So I did that, I know, right, so
Speaker 1: cute and not thinking that she would answer, Um, I no,
Speaker 1: idea if she would answer. So I was actually on
Speaker 1: a date when I got his message. What do you mean, Well,
Speaker 1: that guy sounds like a douche bag. It was you
Speaker 1: were you were on a date, but you were going
Speaker 1: through the request full. Now I was going I was
Speaker 1: on a date and this person was away from me
Speaker 1: for a little bit. Obviously that date was not going.
Speaker 1: Maybe it may not have been in the bathroom. And
Speaker 1: so I was going through my my Instagram because I
Speaker 1: was all alone, and then I checked my hidden d ms.
Speaker 1: I don't know about you guys, but there's certain collaborations
Speaker 1: that come in through hidden d M. So I checked
Speaker 1: all my messages and then I saw his and it
Speaker 1: was a lengthy one. So I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is this? There was a was a message. So
Speaker 1: were you nervous about sliding into d m s because
Speaker 1: you know, I think the way. Let's be honest, have
Speaker 1: you've done it before? Like, have you ever just kind
Speaker 1: of like reached out to someone, was like, hey, what's up?
Speaker 1: I stowed on social media before, not always even for
Speaker 1: for dating purposes. Oh yeah, if there was there was
Speaker 1: a shoe line that I really liked to I remember
Speaker 1: I reached out to the designer and I told them
Speaker 1: how much I liked the shoes, and we actually wound
Speaker 1: up connecting and then became friends because of that. So
Speaker 1: did you have your friends help you? Uh, kind of
Speaker 1: articulate the way. No. Actually, I remember I was on
Speaker 1: my way to go ski shooting that day, and uh,
Speaker 1: I pulled over on the side of the road. It
Speaker 1: was really random when it happened, and I was like,
Speaker 1: this is a shot in the dark and we'll see
Speaker 1: if it works out. So you were driving a car
Speaker 1: you pulled over to send the message That thought occurred
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, I got off at the exit to
Speaker 1: get to this park where we were going to go shooting.
Speaker 1: That's actually pretty romantic. Ballsy dude. I stress over every
Speaker 1: word I said, Like when I was in my single days,
Speaker 1: if I was trying to hit on someone or flirt
Speaker 1: with a girl, Like every time I'd write out something
Speaker 1: and then I would delete it, and then I'd write
Speaker 1: something else unto it, and I send it to my friends.
Speaker 1: But like just sounds stupid, like an idiot. He's really
Speaker 1: good with his words, though, he so I'm I find
Speaker 1: that I'm better communicating through writing. So whenever I write
Speaker 1: something out like if whether it's with family members or friends,
Speaker 1: and if we're having a disagreement about something, I'll often
Speaker 1: sit down and write out what my thoughts are saying
Speaker 1: and send them to you. Only this really cute email
Speaker 1: when I left for uh North Florida, when I left
Speaker 1: for Europe for three weeks, and he sent it right
Speaker 1: when my flight was leaving, so I could only read
Speaker 1: it when I landed in Europe, and it was like
Speaker 1: the sweetest message I ever got. So even when um like,
Speaker 1: if we ever would argue or whatever, he would send
Speaker 1: me this really nice message. And he's just really good
Speaker 1: with his words. So the message itself, I said, but
Speaker 1: I honestly thought that it was a shot in the dark.
Speaker 1: I've never you know, she has quite a few followers,
Speaker 1: so I see that's what Dean thought too, or I
Speaker 1: don't remember who thought that when I was single. You
Speaker 1: guys are like, oh, I can't believe there's no one
Speaker 1: that slides into d M s or whatever I think
Speaker 1: people think because we have a large following, there must
Speaker 1: be so many people reaching out to us. What's the
Speaker 1: point of being, you know, falling in one of them
Speaker 1: million messages that we get. I wasn't getting a lot
Speaker 1: of messages. And I think it's also different for a
Speaker 1: guy coming off the show than it is a girl
Speaker 1: coming off the show, just because five percent of our
Speaker 1: following was female. Right, So when you got it, you
Speaker 1: sent the message, yeah, and then I really wasn't expecting
Speaker 1: to hear back. And even if I didn't know what
Speaker 1: it would turn into something, it was not stressful because
Speaker 1: leaning forward, yeah, you're getting into it. You put your
Speaker 1: coffee down. Let me ask you this, why did you
Speaker 1: decide to do the d M slide? If you already
Speaker 1: had third degree connections, right, you could you could have
Speaker 1: asked your sister or something for a phone number or
Speaker 1: like to introduce you. They didn't have. I didn't even
Speaker 1: talk to my sisters about it, to be honestly, because
Speaker 1: I really was taking it as a shot in the dark.
Speaker 1: I mean, if she were to answer, it would have
Speaker 1: been nice, but I also wasn't counting on it. Then,
Speaker 1: were your sisters like you d M the girl that
Speaker 1: we were working on. My sisters thought it was a
Speaker 1: little bit funny, you know, And then I was a
Speaker 1: little reluctant to mention that I had used my four
Speaker 1: year old nephew is because I don't know, I could
Speaker 1: see the same thing and like my like my sister
Speaker 1: would probably be like, but what are you doing? Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: But I always say how Instagram is like the number
Speaker 1: one way to date someone. It's a dating app. Now
Speaker 1: it really is. I mean, just like you said, sliding
Speaker 1: into the d ms is now just a common phrase,
Speaker 1: and there is kind of like there was this stigmentation
Speaker 1: I feel like about sliding into d ms and meeting
Speaker 1: people on Instagram, but now it's just faded away, just
Speaker 1: like there was a stigma against dating apps. I feel
Speaker 1: like when the first came out online dating, people are like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm not signing up for online dating. That's ridiculous. And
Speaker 1: now it's just a common way of people meeting each other.
Speaker 1: My sister met her husband online and it's the same
Speaker 1: thing on Instagram now, where people are just they're not
Speaker 1: afraid to reach out to people on Instagram anymore. And
Speaker 1: I think it's a really cool way to meet people
Speaker 1: as long as you're not creepy. Just don't you know,
Speaker 1: don't jump in with the old Well you guys kind
Speaker 1: of know where I'm going with this, but you didn't
Speaker 1: because you're a smart man. I tried, but honestly, I
Speaker 1: think that the difference between like social media like Facebook
Speaker 1: or Instagram is that you actually can see a little
Speaker 1: bit more about the person than you would if it
Speaker 1: was on a dating app where you put up like
Speaker 1: five pictures and you know, but not always sure. I
Speaker 1: remember I dated this one guy who put posted a
Speaker 1: bunch of pictures of his family and nieces and nephews,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, a family man and
Speaker 1: they never actually saw their family and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: a he was like pretending yes, yeah, Jared just shot
Speaker 1: me a look. I don't know what that was about.
Speaker 1: It was that for me. You know. That's why I
Speaker 1: like with my Instagram, I try to be as authentic
Speaker 1: with like my pictures and whatever. Oh yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Yeah, no, that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1: And as long as it was your profile, set's a
Speaker 1: public or private. Mine was public. I think the important
Speaker 1: thing is if you're going to slide and you wish
Speaker 1: to be successful with it, you should have a public profile.
Speaker 1: I didn't think about that, so yours. Yours is public too.
Speaker 1: That's smart because when you DM someone, I feel like,
Speaker 1: let me ask you this, Vanessa says this past I know. So,
Speaker 1: say Josh sent you a message on Instagram. You open
Speaker 1: it up, you saw his profile pick. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: this guy's cute, says something very nice about his nephew.
Speaker 1: You look on is profile and it's private exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what I would do is, um, I would screenshot
Speaker 1: the message and then just zoom in on a little
Speaker 1: thumbnail pick. There you go. That's some detective work right there.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, it is only one pitch
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. It doesn't give you much insight, but it
Speaker 1: gives you maybe enough to like, I don't know what
Speaker 1: Josh's thumbnail picture is, but it could have been something
Speaker 1: pretty nice. What is your thumbnaima, So I think it's
Speaker 1: me and my my chihuahua. Okay, yeah, well, and it
Speaker 1: was all this to say, if ever you're single and
Speaker 1: you want to slide into someone's dams, make sure that
Speaker 1: your your profile is out very good point also, including
Speaker 1: nephew or niece or a dog or chihuahua. I'm sure
Speaker 1: the chuagua profile picture helps you out to what's the
Speaker 1: story with the dog that's here today? Yes, that's so friendly.
Speaker 1: She well, she's she's only do adults, but not kids.
Speaker 1: She hates. She hates a man is kids. Okay, when
Speaker 1: when I saw that dog, I rest you. During college
Speaker 1: and um, in the apartment plex we lived in, these
Speaker 1: kids would chase around his sticks all the time, and
Speaker 1: so whenever she sees like a little little human, she
Speaker 1: gets freaked out. Um, so what was your I'm curious?
Speaker 1: So you responded, and then she responded, but like forty
Speaker 1: eight hours later, so I was on a date right now.
Speaker 1: Of course, she's not gonna just got to like you
Speaker 1: sweat it out. If I can respond, I'm not gonna respond.
Speaker 1: But as the receiver of a d M, Josh mentioned
Speaker 1: that it was like a lengthy message, right, do you
Speaker 1: find that refreshing or did you think that it could
Speaker 1: have been a little bit more concise? No? I liked
Speaker 1: it because sometimes when I see a big block of text,
Speaker 1: I almost just like swipe away. I don't even really know.
Speaker 1: I find it intriguing. Instead of that means someone the
Speaker 1: person put thought into the message, instead of hey I
Speaker 1: find you cute, like or what are you doing this weekend? Like?
Speaker 1: Instead of a generic message, it was something that was
Speaker 1: thought out. And remember you saying you were you were
Speaker 1: driving your friends, Uh, you got you guys are waking
Speaker 1: up north or something. Then you pulled over and he
Speaker 1: in the message, he said, you said that you We
Speaker 1: discussed this after. I'm like, how did you because I
Speaker 1: have the same question, how did you come up with
Speaker 1: the message? Why did you message me during that time?
Speaker 1: And I thought it was romantic? And ever since then
Speaker 1: he's always written me really nice emails and messages and texts,
Speaker 1: and we're actually really good at that. We both communicate
Speaker 1: through writing a lot. Yeah, this is the first relationship
Speaker 1: I can say that we have the same form of
Speaker 1: communication um in terms of like, if we're arguing, we're like,
Speaker 1: I'm someone that likes to dissect things. So you guys,
Speaker 1: if you guys are arguing your email back and forth,
Speaker 1: email were sitting there, you know the phones. You know,
Speaker 1: once there wasn't once there was an email exchange, remember
Speaker 1: you had got back to your house and it was
Speaker 1: not When we're actually together, I'm teasing and then it'll
Speaker 1: be like a text messaging, I sent you something. We
Speaker 1: want we want to talk more. We want to talk
Speaker 1: more about that because obviously it's nice to know the
Speaker 1: beginning of the relationship. But we want to know more
Speaker 1: about the relationship now. But before we do that, we
Speaker 1: should take a quick break and then we're gonna bright
Speaker 1: into it. Right, and we're back with Dean Vanessa Josh
Speaker 1: also known as the Silver Fox. Do you like the
Speaker 1: silver Is it the silver fox, Fox or the gray Wolf.
Speaker 1: I'll go with the silver Fox. Yeah, I think the
Speaker 1: silver flow. Yeah. Yeah. We actually got a hat in
Speaker 1: our room. It's amazing. We didn't open it. But who's
Speaker 1: whose idea was that at? With the fox on it?
Speaker 1: And it says silver Fox. That's awesome, it's great, Thank
Speaker 1: you very much. That's like the first calf you're going
Speaker 1: to own. Yeah. I kind of like the gray wolf wolf, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think he at the end. That's why I like
Speaker 1: the gray Wolf to I got it. It's just like
Speaker 1: gray wolf is pretty cool. I've never heard that one bad.
Speaker 1: Their family they call each other the wolf pack. That's
Speaker 1: very awesome. They we're a really tight family and pretty jealous.
Speaker 1: Would you say you were one man wolf pack? It
Speaker 1: was a one So what was your So you guys
Speaker 1: communicated on d M? You responded and then who asked
Speaker 1: who out first? So you want to know you can
Speaker 1: take a se We actually the minute we rolle back
Speaker 1: to him. It was NonStop back and forth messaging for
Speaker 1: the entire day. And then um, I think we switched
Speaker 1: over from d M s to text messages. The number
Speaker 1: he kept saying, do you know what were you saying?
Speaker 1: Graham Bell or something? Oh? Yeah, I asked her she
Speaker 1: knew whoa Graham Bell was. And then the artist, right,
Speaker 1: the singer, you know, the the inventor of the telephone,
Speaker 1: because I asked her a really starch and I asked
Speaker 1: her a really sarcastic question, and then um, I didn't
Speaker 1: get what he was insinuating, so basically right, So we
Speaker 1: switched over to text message anyway, So then and yeah,
Speaker 1: if someone dropped that line of me, I'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: a great singer, there you go, hell of an artist. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So then we we started to communicate over the phone,
Speaker 1: because it is I think it's more personal for some reason.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's sometimes gonna be a difficult transition to
Speaker 1: go from either Instagram or like let's say you're on
Speaker 1: bumble or something, to go from that to then texting.
Speaker 1: I always knew that somebody was interested if we were
Speaker 1: talking through d M and they're like, hey, it's easier
Speaker 1: if you just text me. And then I'm like okay,
Speaker 1: she's interested. She's giving her phone number. How long How
Speaker 1: long did it take for it to go from Instagram
Speaker 1: to texting and then from texting to then organizing the
Speaker 1: first date? It was it was a while, but it
Speaker 1: was a while because she was out of town. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was in Seattle visiting Taylor and one morning we
Speaker 1: get a knock on the door. Taylor and I love
Speaker 1: sleeping in, so I was like, who's knocking at nine
Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning. So someone knocks on the door.
Speaker 1: She's like me, I'm not feeling well. Can you go
Speaker 1: open the door? And I was like, oh yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I think it's my Amazon package. I go to the
Speaker 1: door and there's this massive bouquet of kit Cats. Because
Speaker 1: I don't like flowers, so there was a massive bouquet
Speaker 1: of kit Cats and I'm like, oh my god, and
Speaker 1: I think I had I don't remember exactly when I
Speaker 1: had told you that I didn't like flowers and then
Speaker 1: I like kit cats or something. This was before your
Speaker 1: first day for our first date, and the message was
Speaker 1: I can't wait for our first date, I'm like to
Speaker 1: get creative. How did you know where to send it?
Speaker 1: The bouquet of cats? So Taylor helped me out on
Speaker 1: that one. So I knew the chose with Taylor, and
Speaker 1: we've been talking a lot at that point. So we
Speaker 1: were messaging pretty much all day every day. And how
Speaker 1: long was this after when you first answered the d M?
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks? Okay, so you guys been talking
Speaker 1: for a couple of weeks, because just the way I
Speaker 1: think about it is that Taylor just gave her address
Speaker 1: to a complete strange a. Right, That's how it does
Speaker 1: definitely sound. But we we started out like messaging, like
Speaker 1: we were saying on Instagram occasionally like a few times
Speaker 1: a day, and then when it went over to text message,
Speaker 1: it was way more often was it simply text or
Speaker 1: where their facetimes or phone calls or anything like that.
Speaker 1: At this point we had started face facetiming. I think
Speaker 1: that was the first time yours. Yeah, I didn't. I'd
Speaker 1: never used FaceTime before, that's surprising. And she actually also
Speaker 1: introduced me to the audio message feature, which I had
Speaker 1: also because I don't know lazy people. It's not for
Speaker 1: lazy people, right, you just like press the button and
Speaker 1: then it records your whatever you want to say. Honestly though,
Speaker 1: because I don't know, Yeah, why do I find it annoying?
Speaker 1: I think the whole appeal of texting is I don't
Speaker 1: have to talk or hear anything. I guess, right, because
Speaker 1: I remember there was a collaboration I was texting with
Speaker 1: and then I would send him attacks, and then he
Speaker 1: sent an audio message. Then I sent back attacks, and
Speaker 1: then he sent back another auto messages was like just
Speaker 1: text me. Yeah, I guess what's annoying because it could
Speaker 1: disappear after like I have the feature where it disappears
Speaker 1: after thirty seconds or after like a minute, so then
Speaker 1: I'll forget what the person said because it was an
Speaker 1: audio or what if you need to keep that message
Speaker 1: in case you need to hold it over their head
Speaker 1: later on, you know what blackmail black or if you
Speaker 1: need information like an address or something like that and
Speaker 1: they send you an audio message with it, then you
Speaker 1: gotta go back And is that what happened with this?
Speaker 1: No in this case, I know not at all all? Right,
Speaker 1: So who asked who out on the first date? Because
Speaker 1: you guys been texting, I'm very curious, Okay, I thought,
Speaker 1: we're still talking about the bouquet kick cats. Well that's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing, the bouquet kick cats. Where'd you come
Speaker 1: up with that idea? How do you know? She like
Speaker 1: kit cats? So she had mentioned to me. I don't
Speaker 1: know how you mentioned that you like kit cats, but
Speaker 1: I knew that she had in some you know, useful information.
Speaker 1: You got to take notes when you're when you're when
Speaker 1: you're first dating. Um, and she definitely mentioned that she
Speaker 1: didn't How did you know that Taylor was going to
Speaker 1: respond to you? That was another shot in the door.
Speaker 1: So okay, and I feel like we I met Taylor
Speaker 1: through FaceTime with her, so she is, you know, and
Speaker 1: so probably talked about him a lot to Taylor. So
Speaker 1: she's Taylor's my unpaid therapist. Yeah, so she gives me
Speaker 1: all damn. I gotta talk to Taylor more often. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's amazing. Um. All right, so you guys talking. You
Speaker 1: sent the bouquet of kit cat flaw hours. I was
Speaker 1: impressed with that. Where do you even find a It
Speaker 1: was really funny. I was you can find anything. But
Speaker 1: I was calling a bunch of florists in in Seattle
Speaker 1: from Montreal trying to figure out who could possibly do that?
Speaker 1: And most of them are like, no, we're not we
Speaker 1: don't do that, And then an older woman actually picked up.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, of course I'll do it. It
Speaker 1: was so sweet because I was trying to find sunflowers
Speaker 1: in Seattle and have to call like ten different florists.
Speaker 1: This guy's find you can't find flowers, alright. So then
Speaker 1: I'm assuming, Josh, would you ask Vanessa out? Yes, I
Speaker 1: asked Vanessa out, Um, where did you guys go? Where
Speaker 1: do we go? I'm expecting you don't remember your first day. No,
Speaker 1: it's because I got like three hours of sleep last night.
Speaker 1: Out of my god, this is a funny story. If
Speaker 1: she hasn't told you this, I'm expecting only big here.
Speaker 1: I feels so bad. I don't remember where I first. No,
Speaker 1: you didn't want to go on a date, all right.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go on a date out in public,
Speaker 1: which took her a while to get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of it, which I think you've talked about before. Let
Speaker 1: me ask this. At this point, you guys been talking
Speaker 1: face timing. You're about to probably ask her to go
Speaker 1: on a date meet her in person. Did you know
Speaker 1: that she was on The Bachelor, So I knew that
Speaker 1: she was on the Bachelor. But the Bachelor, I'm told
Speaker 1: no idea what's happening. So when did you know? Okay,
Speaker 1: so you knew that she was on the show, but
Speaker 1: you had no idea what her story was. Orde from
Speaker 1: montre it's a small city, so I knew that she
Speaker 1: had gone on The Bachelor, and my mother watches the show,
Speaker 1: so I'd heard that there was a Montreal who had
Speaker 1: gone on the show. And actually I think I had
Speaker 1: seen with my mom the first episode which I told
Speaker 1: you about. I remember being like, wow, she's studying um,
Speaker 1: and then that was into that. But then when uh,
Speaker 1: when we started exchanging um, when I realized how many
Speaker 1: followers she had, Yeah, it kind of recurred to me that, yeah, like, okay,
Speaker 1: she's pretty popular. She's in Montreal. I'm still trying to remember.
Speaker 1: So then when I asked her out, originally she was
Speaker 1: We were going back and forth about which restaurants were,
Speaker 1: you know, nice places to go on Montreal, and then
Speaker 1: she got to i'd like it to be a little
Speaker 1: bit more private it, which to me was a little
Speaker 1: bit strange. I didn't understand the language. You're like, yes,
Speaker 1: let's explain why. So she explained to me, why do
Speaker 1: you want to explain? What do you want to explain why?
Speaker 1: So No, she explained that in Montreal to a small city,
Speaker 1: and people can gossip pretty quickly, so if she's seen
Speaker 1: out with anybody right away, it's interpreted as she's dating somebody.
Speaker 1: So right away I understood, Yeah, and I hadn't dated
Speaker 1: anyone in Montreal in seven years, didn't you remember? There
Speaker 1: was some mutating now for exactly So that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 1: We went out for coffee and there was someone that
Speaker 1: came up to me and they're like, having us a
Speaker 1: huge fan, can have a picture. And then my friend
Speaker 1: was like, I'll take the picture of you. And then
Speaker 1: he noticed who the person was asking to take the picture,
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh my god, you guys are dating.
Speaker 1: We didn't know this person worked for TSN for UM
Speaker 1: Sports Channel, and that's how that's that's how the article
Speaker 1: came out. And I'm like, yeah, going out for coffee
Speaker 1: that means they're dating someone. So I wanted I just
Speaker 1: wanted us to have some a little bit of privacy.
Speaker 1: Get that, because coming from a small town in Rhode Island,
Speaker 1: I remember it's all like, you know, local talk mostly
Speaker 1: but still that obviously it bothers you because that's where
Speaker 1: you live. But I remember one time, Uh, there was
Speaker 1: a girl who worked at a restaurant that I went
Speaker 1: to any Scrantage Great Place, and she came up and
Speaker 1: she was like, Oh, yeah, you're Jared blah blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. This was a couple of years after I
Speaker 1: was on the show. She was like, yeah, I work
Speaker 1: at the restaurant that you bring all your dates to.
Speaker 1: And I was like, bring all my dates too. And
Speaker 1: I was trying to really wrap my head around because
Speaker 1: I go to that restaurant all the time, but honestly,
Speaker 1: I've been on one date at that restaurant. I was like,
Speaker 1: bring all my girls too. She's like, yeah, like you
Speaker 1: like every time you come in here with like a
Speaker 1: different girl. I was like trying to wrap my head around,
Speaker 1: and then I realized because they only know me from
Speaker 1: the show I used Togo for I went when a
Speaker 1: producer came to film my prepackage. We went to dinner there,
Speaker 1: and she was up obviously no, but we did go
Speaker 1: to dinner there, so she thought that was a date.
Speaker 1: I went in there with my sister, my cousin, my
Speaker 1: Frank Crystal, and then I did go on one date there,
Speaker 1: so it was like five different girls that have run
Speaker 1: to the restaurant, but there was only one date but
Speaker 1: this girl, and then the whole restaurant thought that I
Speaker 1: was some sort of big player who brought in a
Speaker 1: different girl, and I'm like, no, I swear to god,
Speaker 1: I'm like a loser. I don't even date. I promise you.
Speaker 1: It was just a weird conversation. But anyway, I get
Speaker 1: where you're coming from, where people just assume because they
Speaker 1: know who you are, and they're like if you're out
Speaker 1: with somebody from the opposite sex exactly, and people know
Speaker 1: who he is too because of his sisters in the city.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted the photographers, he said, yeah, his
Speaker 1: sisters on the salad bar restaurant. So I just wanted
Speaker 1: to give us a chance to really get to know
Speaker 1: each other. And that's why. And now I remember where
Speaker 1: our first date was, and I told you guys where
Speaker 1: it was, and you both were kind of like, that's weird.
Speaker 1: It was at my house. Yeah, I remember the idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we wanted to go lobby hopping and like find going
Speaker 1: to different hotels in Montreal and like go from like
Speaker 1: one lobby of a hotel to another and just like
Speaker 1: I don't know, like taking the scenery instead of like
Speaker 1: staying in one spot. Okay, that didn't end up happening.
Speaker 1: So he ended up coming over to my house, which
Speaker 1: was nice, and I had a migraine, and I have
Speaker 1: this eyepatch that I wear over my head whenever I
Speaker 1: started getting a migraine, and I wear this peppermin halo
Speaker 1: over my forehead. So that's when I asked him if
Speaker 1: he could massage my back and I put my eyemask
Speaker 1: on and he's like, I'm friend zone. He thought he
Speaker 1: was friend zone, right, let me let me ask you something.
Speaker 1: I'm through with pimple cream all over her face, Like
Speaker 1: I have no shame. You've been talking on Instagram now
Speaker 1: text match you for a few weeks. She invites you
Speaker 1: over then asked for a back massage. What is going
Speaker 1: through your head right now? So it was a shoulder massage.
Speaker 1: I think you don't give a ship. Was there any massage?
Speaker 1: There was food? No, no, no, the first night there
Speaker 1: was no food. It was the second date. So honestly,
Speaker 1: when we were sitting on the couch and that was
Speaker 1: going on. When she put the face mask on, I
Speaker 1: was like friend zone, that was it because she was no, No,
Speaker 1: it was like a mask with like stars on it, Like, okay,
Speaker 1: he just invites guys to give a massage, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, help it gets to bed feel a little bit.
Speaker 1: So it was a shoulder rub, right, But did all
Speaker 1: the clothes stay on? Yeah? Okay, all right, So you
Speaker 1: go over? Were you nervous though? Because I think it's
Speaker 1: a female and fighting a guy over that you hadn't
Speaker 1: met yet is not a good idea. But we had.
Speaker 1: We were talking for maybe three weeks before, which again
Speaker 1: still doesn't equate to being a safe environment. Um when
Speaker 1: he came over. So Taylor was on FaceTime. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I told you that she recorded our first meeting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: first like interaction because when I so, Taylor has been
Speaker 1: dating this guy from Toronto for about a year and
Speaker 1: by Fluke, I was starting my YouTube channel, so I
Speaker 1: was recording a bunch of stuff and I have the
Speaker 1: recording of when her and her now boyfriend first met.
Speaker 1: So she's like, I want to give that as a
Speaker 1: gift to you. FaceTime me whenever he comes over. So
Speaker 1: we're on FaceTime and so she recorded our interaction, which
Speaker 1: I've never seen. So she met him and she spoke
Speaker 1: to him, and then she was like, Okay, girl, I
Speaker 1: think you're good. Like call me in a little bit,
Speaker 1: texted me if you're good. But I don't suggest that
Speaker 1: it's like a perfect first date to you know, be
Speaker 1: in an enclosed area without anyone around. Definitely a first
Speaker 1: for me. I think that we had a lot of
Speaker 1: friends in common. So what was the like activity that
Speaker 1: you guys had set forth for it? Because normally you like,
Speaker 1: let's go to dinner, let's go see a movie. Did
Speaker 1: you were you like, let's go to my house? And
Speaker 1: at my house we cannot because you said there was
Speaker 1: no food involved, so you didn't cook, you didn't eat.
Speaker 1: What did you do? What was like? What was the plan?
Speaker 1: The plan? I think there's a little more background here
Speaker 1: because you had just gotten back like the day before,
Speaker 1: and we've been talking a lot, so we were excited
Speaker 1: to meet and um, we had already talked about going
Speaker 1: to New York. Yes, yeah, so we'd already booked a
Speaker 1: trip to New York and we hadn't even met yet.
Speaker 1: There was a lot of first for me. Is new
Speaker 1: York a big check from Montreal? No, not at all,
Speaker 1: but still it's a trip with someone that you don't
Speaker 1: really know it super well. New York City. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: you guys are flying right, so yeah, but that was
Speaker 1: second not our second day like towards like, I don't
Speaker 1: know how many dates we had before to New York.
Speaker 1: Booked the flight before you met? Yeah, first around. I know.
Speaker 1: But see, I'm someone who and I get so much
Speaker 1: for this from my friends. Everyone always tells me even
Speaker 1: has to take a slow, take a sell, take a sell.
Speaker 1: I'm someone I like to get to really know someone
Speaker 1: at the beginning instead of putting this facade of like
Speaker 1: this is who I am, blah blah blah, and then
Speaker 1: like a year later, you're like the mask comes off
Speaker 1: and you don't even recognize a person you're dating, the
Speaker 1: star I mask. Finally a year later, he gets that
Speaker 1: mask off. So I guess my question is you decided
Speaker 1: to forego a public first date, but you had already
Speaker 1: booked a flight to New York. It just seems a
Speaker 1: little strange, right, Yeah, But it wasn't are like the
Speaker 1: lobby hopping wasn't Uh, like, we weren't going to stay
Speaker 1: that long in a lobby, so you know, I felt
Speaker 1: like we were going to walk around the city check
Speaker 1: it out in public, but not necessarily on a date.
Speaker 1: And I like to do different things on dates instead
Speaker 1: of you're a very weird person, I am very weird, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's go for dinner. You can do that with a
Speaker 1: friend the best way. But I think we're just good.
Speaker 1: I just I know. I take that as a confidence.
Speaker 1: So I like to do something a little bit out
Speaker 1: of the ordinary. And that's why I like, for me,
Speaker 1: Taylor and her boyfriend were going on vacation in New
Speaker 1: York to New York, and so she invited me, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, i'd be fun if we can just
Speaker 1: like double date and whatever. Um, And so that's why
Speaker 1: we ended up booking a trip before me. Okay, so
Speaker 1: it was a Taylor and her boyfriend too. Okay, that
Speaker 1: makes up. That makes sense. See, I like doing I'm
Speaker 1: with you or I like to do something different on dates.
Speaker 1: But I always like for a first date, something very
Speaker 1: low key, just because like what happened if you guys
Speaker 1: actually met in person and you had already booked these
Speaker 1: flights and you met and you're like, oh, ship, there's
Speaker 1: nothing here, and now I have to go to New
Speaker 1: York with this person. That was our worry thing when
Speaker 1: we first met. We were talking about how I imagined
Speaker 1: there was like zero chemistry for me at least it
Speaker 1: was chemistry from the get go, and Espy just the
Speaker 1: way that he interacted with me, whether that was through
Speaker 1: FaceTime or text message, and he was so attentive. Um,
Speaker 1: I could be a little bit needy in a relationship,
Speaker 1: and I'm like a little bit not needy, but my
Speaker 1: love language is like I'm a very affectionate person and
Speaker 1: so is he, and so we feed each other's needs
Speaker 1: when it comes to that. So do you guys kiss
Speaker 1: on the first date? Yes? And you know what he
Speaker 1: asked me if he could. He's like, there's something that
Speaker 1: I really want to do right now. I'm like what
Speaker 1: He's like, can I kiss you? Yes? Yeah, he's very well.
Speaker 1: I mean, I did think I was in the friend
Speaker 1: zone right, so I wanted to be sure before respectful.
Speaker 1: As I was having this conversation the other day with
Speaker 1: with one of my friends who I don't know how
Speaker 1: I'm gonna how I'm gonna position this it's going to
Speaker 1: be a bad story. I'm excited they started dating someone
Speaker 1: right they started. They basically jumped into a boyfriend girlfriend
Speaker 1: relationship with this person after a short amount of time
Speaker 1: before they had really gone all the way. If you
Speaker 1: catch my drift, and I asked them, I go, how
Speaker 1: do you jump into a relationship that's serious with that
Speaker 1: much commitment without ever having seen the other person's genitals?
Speaker 1: Because if you think about it, that's a big part
Speaker 1: of the relationships. It just is a big, big step.
Speaker 1: And so for this, for Josh and Vanessa, booking a
Speaker 1: trip to New York just made me think of you
Speaker 1: guys booked a trip to New York without ever really
Speaker 1: having seen each other's genitals, not even seeing each other genitals,
Speaker 1: seeing each other's face in person, well genitals one phase two,
Speaker 1: Like come on, you know that was That's just one
Speaker 1: of the things where it's like, it's something that we
Speaker 1: because typically when we when we start dating in two nineteen,
Speaker 1: you probably will hook up with someone and then decide
Speaker 1: later on if you're gonna date them or not. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: it's kind of a bass Ackwards way. His wife feel
Speaker 1: like I was born in the wrong era. Well, yes,
Speaker 1: and no, I think I think you probably are dating
Speaker 1: someone and as it escalates and you start getting more
Speaker 1: intimate than you realize, Okay, is this a long term thing?
Speaker 1: You know? Is this not? Because let's be honest, sex
Speaker 1: is a big part of the relationship. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with saying that. And I think that's why. You know,
Speaker 1: fifty years ago it was a very taboo topic to
Speaker 1: talk about sex before marriage, and now it's becoming more
Speaker 1: regular because people are realizing that I don't want to
Speaker 1: be in a committed relationship without knowing every aspect of
Speaker 1: the relationship. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of different compatibilities,
Speaker 1: and there's also prioritizing, right, A lot of people put
Speaker 1: a lot of emphasis on the physical part of the
Speaker 1: relationship and some others don't. And it's really kind of
Speaker 1: dependent on the couple on on how important they find
Speaker 1: that is. And I guess I was being presumptuous too,
Speaker 1: because at what point did you guys consider yourself's boyfriend girlfriend?
Speaker 1: Oh that's a good question. Um, there wasn't like a hey,
Speaker 1: you want to be my girlfriend? I don't. I'm trying
Speaker 1: to actually remember that if you want to, you can
Speaker 1: ask you, right, now. Yeah, I want to be my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: That's what we do here. We make relationships happen. I
Speaker 1: think I don't remember when we have I don't think
Speaker 1: we had that conversation. I think it kind of just oh,
Speaker 1: I remember we were we were at your place, and
Speaker 1: I think I was still um, I hadn't dated. I
Speaker 1: hadn't dated anyone since my breakup, um, And so for me,
Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure that I was going to
Speaker 1: be in something like that was gonna be long lasting.
Speaker 1: And we had that conversation where you're You're like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to date anyone else, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm there yet. Remember. But then
Speaker 1: like the day after, I was like, all right, I
Speaker 1: think I'm I'm ready to like and I and and
Speaker 1: the thing is like, yeah, I never date more than
Speaker 1: one person at the same time. But I think in
Speaker 1: my head, I'm like, hey, take it slow, because I
Speaker 1: know how I can go from like zero to a
Speaker 1: hundred real quick. Yeah. I think that that was an
Speaker 1: idea that she really had at the beginning where we
Speaker 1: were first dating, was that she didn't want to take
Speaker 1: things too quickly. Um. But I'm also somebody who's very Um,
Speaker 1: I have a one track mind, so like, I'm not
Speaker 1: interested in dating more than one person at once. And
Speaker 1: once I, you know, decided that I want to go
Speaker 1: all in on something, I do my best and try
Speaker 1: and give it my all. So I was pretty I
Speaker 1: knew right off as are very similar in that way, right, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: very similar. We So we were actually talking on the
Speaker 1: flight about friendships and relationships and all that. And I
Speaker 1: want to throw this question out to you guys, because
Speaker 1: you're both males in relationships sometimes, so I want again,
Speaker 1: at what point do you reach out to your friends
Speaker 1: to talk about things that are happening in your relationship,
Speaker 1: personal things happening in a relationship or in your in
Speaker 1: your marriage, in your in your family life too. Like
Speaker 1: I call Taylor seven, she's on speed dial, and I
Speaker 1: tell her everything. But I feel like that's very That's
Speaker 1: a lot of girls have that kind of friendship. That's
Speaker 1: a great question, Vanessa, and we're definitely gonna answer it.
Speaker 1: But before we answer it, we're gonna take a quick
Speaker 1: break and go from there. Okay, and we're back, Jared,
Speaker 1: do you want to answer the question first? Can you
Speaker 1: say the question one more time? So do you reach
Speaker 1: out to your guy friends if ever you and Ashley
Speaker 1: argue over something or if there's something happening with your family,
Speaker 1: because I feel like a lot of guys don't have
Speaker 1: that outlet. My outlet is Taylor. She knows everything that's
Speaker 1: going on, and she will give me the most unbiased,
Speaker 1: best advice, so I know I can trust her judgment. Um,
Speaker 1: I think sometimes and remember last a couple episodes, we
Speaker 1: interviewed Tina who has who's the founder of Wingman, and
Speaker 1: you can get to know the person's friends. I think
Speaker 1: that's for me that's so crucial because I want to
Speaker 1: know who are your friends and what kind of advice
Speaker 1: are they giving you to better our relationship. Yeah, I think,
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest, I go to Ashley a lot
Speaker 1: for any type of family issues or even issues that
Speaker 1: Ashley and I are encountering in our relationship. Her and
Speaker 1: I have a really good communication skills. But in terms
Speaker 1: of maybe when Ashley and I were first kind of
Speaker 1: going through everything and and uh, um, you know you
Speaker 1: have to go through that like flirty like reading way
Speaker 1: into things stage. Uh Yeah, I have a buddy of mine,
Speaker 1: uh that we have a great relationship like that. He's
Speaker 1: like my friend that I always talked to about relationships
Speaker 1: and girls and what they're thinking and um and uh,
Speaker 1: and so that's the friend that I go to. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I'd be on the I remember when everything was happening
Speaker 1: with Ashley, and I'd be on the phone with him
Speaker 1: for like two hours and just talking about everything. And
Speaker 1: he was obviously very invested interested because he had known
Speaker 1: Ashley and he had known the whole story and and
Speaker 1: so he was a good friend to just turn to
Speaker 1: and just vent to and and he'd be like, all right,
Speaker 1: you should do this or And Tanner was u during
Speaker 1: that time a friend like that too, because Tanner, yet
Speaker 1: again was a friend that had just seen everything and
Speaker 1: knows Ashley so well and knew me so well that
Speaker 1: anytime I'd be like, bro, this just happened. I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do, like, you know, and it was
Speaker 1: dumb stuff, right, a picture on Instagram and be like
Speaker 1: why the hell would that like be there? And uh,
Speaker 1: He's like, just calmed down, and you know, you gotta
Speaker 1: post about you thought that you know, you they rationalize
Speaker 1: everything for you. So definitely, oh yeah, I've I've guy
Speaker 1: friends like that. But You're right. A lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of guys don't. They internalize their feelings, which is
Speaker 1: why you know they drop it, like fifty five from
Speaker 1: heart attacks. It's like, yeah, gotta you gotta let that
Speaker 1: stuff out. You know, you gotta talk about how you feel.
Speaker 1: If not, just gonna build up. My biggest frustration with
Speaker 1: with the friend thing as it pertains to relationships. I
Speaker 1: experienced this with my last relationship. Um, I I have
Speaker 1: friends who we all love each other wholeheartedly, we all
Speaker 1: want the best for each other, but they kind of
Speaker 1: look at they almost kind of tell you the things
Speaker 1: that you want to hear. Sometimes, so say I choose
Speaker 1: my girlfriend to my friends. This happened a while ago,
Speaker 1: and they're all like, oh, she's great. I love you
Speaker 1: guys together. We're not gonna get in this. I love
Speaker 1: you guys together. She's great, it's awesome relationship. Right. Six
Speaker 1: months later, we break up and then they're like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I never really liked it in the first place. I'm like,
Speaker 1: why don't you tell me or are they just telling
Speaker 1: you that because they want to help you mend your heart? No,
Speaker 1: they tell me that because they mean it. I think
Speaker 1: what I think that they told they lied to me
Speaker 1: in the beginning because they wanted to me to be
Speaker 1: They want to be supportive and support the relationship, right
Speaker 1: their girlfriends or guy friends telling you this, both but
Speaker 1: mostly guy friends. I suppose, Um, it's hard, right because
Speaker 1: you want to support your friend because obviously to say
Speaker 1: you were dating someone that nobody liked. And it's that balance, right,
Speaker 1: Because what happens if they went to you and said, Hey,
Speaker 1: I really don't like her, I don't think you should
Speaker 1: date her. You might get really defensive and say, who
Speaker 1: the hell are you to think? Tell me who I
Speaker 1: should date or not date? Love my friends. I love
Speaker 1: taking my friends opinions on that kind of stuff. Like
Speaker 1: That's why I always one of the first things I
Speaker 1: do when I start dating someone new is I'll introduce
Speaker 1: him to all my friends and then I'll be like, well,
Speaker 1: what do you guys think? Like do you like her?
Speaker 1: What she fund to hang out with, like when I
Speaker 1: wasn't around, etcetera. And that's like a pretty telling sign
Speaker 1: I think onto whether it really are they honest with you?
Speaker 1: Most of the time they are, and always they'll always
Speaker 1: compare it to like past relationships, right, like, oh, like
Speaker 1: I like her way more than I like her, or
Speaker 1: she did this better than the other one, And it's
Speaker 1: kind of like a weird comparison thing, I guess, but
Speaker 1: it's it's my friends are important to me, right, and
Speaker 1: I want my significant other to be able to coexist
Speaker 1: with my friends, and I think that it's like an
Speaker 1: important test. I think there's also a fine line between
Speaker 1: Like I had a friend who was dating someone who
Speaker 1: wasn't really good to her. I expressed it, all of
Speaker 1: our friends expressed it to her until she was ready
Speaker 1: to finally say I'm done with this relationship. So she
Speaker 1: took all of our opinions and advice, but she wasn't ready.
Speaker 1: I think at a certain point, you know when you're
Speaker 1: just done with something, And it's sometimes easy when you're
Speaker 1: outside of the relationship to tell someone like you deserve better,
Speaker 1: like go get you know, get yourself, and you know,
Speaker 1: find someone else. But when you're in that relationship, only
Speaker 1: you and the person that you're dating really knows what's
Speaker 1: going on. And sometimes we have a tendency to call
Speaker 1: out or call our friends and complain about the person
Speaker 1: we're dating instead of calling them being like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you know what he did for me today and and
Speaker 1: like hype them up exactly, and then they start putting
Speaker 1: all of these you know, bad stories in their heads.
Speaker 1: So obviously they're going to think, well, this person is
Speaker 1: not good for you. Yeah. I mean a lot of people. No,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say when I think of the
Speaker 1: typical situation that happens to a lot of guys, like
Speaker 1: you'll get lost in whether or not you're gonna ask
Speaker 1: for directions, and a lot of guys that I know
Speaker 1: don't like to appear helpless. They don't like to ask
Speaker 1: for help, right. I grew up with three sisters who
Speaker 1: I love very much, so I think I've had a
Speaker 1: different upbringing than a lot of guys. And I know,
Speaker 1: um and I often turned to my sisters if and
Speaker 1: when I you know, I'm dealing with something in the
Speaker 1: right to reach and as as guys to it, my
Speaker 1: friends do this often. It's kind of frustrating. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: what's your opinion of this person that I'm doing now?
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, well she's really hot, and I'm
Speaker 1: like yeah, really all the time they just they talk
Speaker 1: about the parents, yes, and the like look look back
Speaker 1: and be like, is that what you wanted. I would
Speaker 1: be like, oh, that girl made me really unhappy, and
Speaker 1: they'd be like, yeah, but she was really hot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but who cares? But yeah, I don't know. That's kind
Speaker 1: of one of the frustrating things. Um. But you're right,
Speaker 1: I think guys kind of have like this pride factor.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely one of those people as well. To what
Speaker 1: Jared was saying earlier too, I internalized a lot of things.
Speaker 1: And it's nice to have those friends that you can
Speaker 1: I guess confide in. We all need that. But totally,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just tough because I think as a society,
Speaker 1: men are are brought up a certain way to really
Speaker 1: not show their emotion and you guys are the pack
Speaker 1: leaders and you're the protectors and you're the providers. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think as we get older, it's really difficult
Speaker 1: to articulate how we're feeling, especially if you're feeling vulnerable
Speaker 1: or sad or emotional. And it's it's becoming better obviously,
Speaker 1: we're living into society where men are are more you know,
Speaker 1: prone to say, hey, actually, you know that that does
Speaker 1: make me sad or like that doesn't make me feel good,
Speaker 1: because I mean, how many times, especially as as guys.
Speaker 1: Do you hear your friends just say like, I don't care,
Speaker 1: it's fine, it doesn't bother me, you know. I think
Speaker 1: we're also conditioned. When someone asks you how you're doing,
Speaker 1: you say I'm good or I'm fine, and that's like
Speaker 1: an automatic response, and it's okay to say I'm not
Speaker 1: really good today, or you know, like I'm sad or
Speaker 1: i'm mad. Instead of being truthful, we just mask it
Speaker 1: with a the generic i'm good. One of the things
Speaker 1: that I love the most about Vanessa is the fact
Speaker 1: that she's taught me, in many ways how to be
Speaker 1: more vulnerable. And I've never been in a relationship where
Speaker 1: I've seen that is something that's incredibly important. But I
Speaker 1: see how attractive that is now. So like, for example,
Speaker 1: I remember at the beginning, when we were first dating,
Speaker 1: we would go out and she'd be shopping and she
Speaker 1: would ask me if I like something, um, and I
Speaker 1: was a little bit reluctant to tell her that I
Speaker 1: didn't like the way that something looked, because obviously she
Speaker 1: liked it if she was going to be buying it.
Speaker 1: And I remember we got into a little bit of
Speaker 1: a tiff over that because I didn't necessarily like the
Speaker 1: the item in question and then now that's a very
Speaker 1: minor example, but it's it's something that I guess I
Speaker 1: hadn't really done before, but she's really been. So you're
Speaker 1: encouraging people to be honest, like, we don't like it, Okay.
Speaker 1: It's so tough though, because sometimes the truth does her,
Speaker 1: you know, because I feel like there's there's people out
Speaker 1: there who are like, UM, honest, like I'll always tell
Speaker 1: how it is, And I'm like, should you do that? Though?
Speaker 1: Because I have friends who are like that, and sometimes
Speaker 1: they say exactly how they're feeling and it really doesn't
Speaker 1: change anything. It's just like them being like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't like that, and it's like, well, I think I
Speaker 1: don't know what to do for you. I think it's
Speaker 1: the way you deliver it, right, and especially if you
Speaker 1: set what kind of standards you want in your relationship
Speaker 1: and your romantic relationship. And we've had so many discussions
Speaker 1: like this, Um, I always up for honesty. Really stupid example,
Speaker 1: my I gave my keys to my brother to he's
Speaker 1: going to kill me for the story, but I didn't
Speaker 1: want anyone else sleeping over my house, so he ended
Speaker 1: up sleeping over at my house with another friend of his,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, why didn't you just tell? Like
Speaker 1: I would not have been mad, But now that I
Speaker 1: found out after the fact, I find I was being
Speaker 1: disregarded and disrespected. So just be honest from the get go,
Speaker 1: because the truth will always come out, So just be honest. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think there's also, like you said, there's an approach
Speaker 1: that you have to take, and I think sometimes people
Speaker 1: just don't know how to approach the truth because for
Speaker 1: I don't know, for example, if like I walked like
Speaker 1: if it was if it was the first thing I
Speaker 1: said to you this morning, be like, oh it's up,
Speaker 1: Dean God, that is one ugly shirt, you'd be like, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, But if they're asking for your
Speaker 1: opinion on something, yeah, but it's just the truth. That's
Speaker 1: how I feel. I'm not saying you're I actually like
Speaker 1: your shirt, but I'm just making a point. Rather than
Speaker 1: later on in the day, like after we've kind of
Speaker 1: talked and kind a nice morning break, yes, be like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting choice for your shirt. Interesting choice, you know,
Speaker 1: so I love that line. Interesting choice? Yeah, because that
Speaker 1: that is truthful while also not being a jerk, like
Speaker 1: you said, Vanessa, I think a lot of people just
Speaker 1: don't have that balance because I'm always for the truth
Speaker 1: as well, but sometimes I certainly will tell white lies
Speaker 1: to make people feel better, UM, if I don't think
Speaker 1: it's really going to be a drastic outcome. So I think.
Speaker 1: I think the clothing element that I brought up was
Speaker 1: a small example. But like how I'm feeling emotionally, I
Speaker 1: think that she's really taught me to open up about UM,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't somebody with that. I always wonder about this,
Speaker 1: and I have an internal debate because I have friends
Speaker 1: who are very very emotional people, right, Like some very
Speaker 1: close friends who are very very emotional. They wear their
Speaker 1: hearts on their sleeves. They're almost directed by their emotion
Speaker 1: at times. I'm on the other side of the spectrum
Speaker 1: where I don't really take much emotion into anything or
Speaker 1: carry much on a daily basis. And I see how
Speaker 1: affected they get by so many things that they're not
Speaker 1: in control of, and I look at that and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad I'm not that emotional because I don't
Speaker 1: allow things that I can't control to affect my well
Speaker 1: being on a regular basis, But then I see other
Speaker 1: things where it's like you allow yourself to be vulnerable
Speaker 1: and open and how that allows you to feel things
Speaker 1: more deeply. And so I feel like there's like an
Speaker 1: argument that can be on both sides. I think at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, your argument wins out because
Speaker 1: no one wants to go through life living a callous,
Speaker 1: desensitized way of living, which when I think of it,
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, that's probably what I'm gonna end up doing.
Speaker 1: But it's no But but I'm saying there's good in it,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But there's also a lot
Speaker 1: of good, as Josh are saying, in the openness and
Speaker 1: the vulnerability that you can get. But I'm just saying
Speaker 1: that the point is you can arguable sides. And also
Speaker 1: on an unrelated but similar notes, So I have this
Speaker 1: friend who's a Somalia and she and and this is
Speaker 1: like a while ago, but I bought us a six
Speaker 1: dollar bottle of wine and it had sat out and
Speaker 1: open for a long time, and it tastes it tasted
Speaker 1: really bad, but to me, it tasted really good because
Speaker 1: I don't know the difference between So it's a really
Speaker 1: interesting example. So I love it though, so because she
Speaker 1: went out of her way to understand the nuances and
Speaker 1: the differences between bad wine and good wine, she can
Speaker 1: no longer really enjoy bad wine, but I can enjoy
Speaker 1: all of the wine because I don't understand it. You
Speaker 1: know what it means, I'm like desensitized to all wine.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of what I relate it back to
Speaker 1: as like a metaphor, is which one of those would
Speaker 1: you really live? Would you rather really really appreciate the
Speaker 1: really good wine or would you rather just like generally
Speaker 1: appreciate all of the wine. I guess that's the point
Speaker 1: that I'm trying. Well. On the flip side, I was
Speaker 1: imagining like going on a date and then so many
Speaker 1: it comes over the table and wants you to like
Speaker 1: spin the wine around, like I don't know much about
Speaker 1: wine at all, Like do you pretend that you know
Speaker 1: what you're talking about? Or do you just be honest?
Speaker 1: Whenever they do that, I just say, pour the glass.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna drink it either wine. Okay. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: it's an interesting metaphor. I think it's also the metaphor
Speaker 1: that people use or you have to take your shot,
Speaker 1: so to speak, because if you don't take a shot,
Speaker 1: then you can't fail, right, that's the whole point. If
Speaker 1: you ever, if you never actually go for the things
Speaker 1: you want, then you can't fail at achieving those things.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, if you never go for it,
Speaker 1: then you'll never truly experience the full capability of life.
Speaker 1: I guess so I think it's it's it's a hard
Speaker 1: thing to know because if you stay within your little bubble,
Speaker 1: you can really enjoy life. But will you ever enjoy
Speaker 1: it as much if you don't ever get outside? That's
Speaker 1: that's the conversation you have. One of the things that
Speaker 1: my older sister is always sort of emphasized is communicating.
Speaker 1: This is gonna sound super cheesy, but it's really true,
Speaker 1: and I feel it is to communicate with your heart.
Speaker 1: And Vanessa is very much the same way. But whenever
Speaker 1: you speak through your heart, you wind up being able
Speaker 1: to relate to people a lot better than when you're
Speaker 1: using your head, because when you're using your head, you
Speaker 1: wind up tripping up and your actual thoughts don't make
Speaker 1: it out as clearly as they would if you're speaking
Speaker 1: from your heart. Yep, I do the head thing over
Speaker 1: the heart. I'll work for work on it. We're definitely hard. Um.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you guys about the future and
Speaker 1: what the future holds for both of you. But before
Speaker 1: we do that, we're going to take another quick break
Speaker 1: and then we'll dive into it. Okay, So what's the
Speaker 1: future hold for you guys? Um? How long have you
Speaker 1: guys been officially dating? Now? So this is the first
Speaker 1: relationship I don't count. I used I used to be
Speaker 1: someone that's like, oh, we made it two month, Oh
Speaker 1: we made it two months, we made three months. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't even know how long we've been dating.
Speaker 1: But it's since the winter, so almost eight months at
Speaker 1: A just asked you to be your girlfriend, like twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: So basically it's a very serious twenty minute relationship. So
Speaker 1: we'll say what December, So I would say December, we'll
Speaker 1: say seven or eight months? Okay. So, and you guys
Speaker 1: both live in Montreal. I guess you guys must talk
Speaker 1: about the future. Obviously you're open about everything, right, so like,
Speaker 1: what how does how do those conversations look? People were
Speaker 1: actually encouraging us to not take things slow and just
Speaker 1: like go full force. Um, but I think for me
Speaker 1: this is and I spoke about this with Ashley last
Speaker 1: time we were in NAPA. Like he seems so like
Speaker 1: cool about it. I'm like, yeah, because I want to
Speaker 1: be able to take things slow and and feel everything out,
Speaker 1: you know, like obviously, like I feel extremely strongly about
Speaker 1: our relationship and I love him so much, um, But
Speaker 1: I think part of me is also scared of things
Speaker 1: not working out. I'm someone who hopes for the best
Speaker 1: but expects the worst. That's what ended up happening all
Speaker 1: my relationship obviously, because none of them ended up working out.
Speaker 1: So it is scary for me. Um. But when I
Speaker 1: think of a lifelong partner, he's sitting right next to me.
Speaker 1: You know. He has all the qualities that I need
Speaker 1: um in a husband, all the qualities that I need
Speaker 1: in UM a father. And I spoke about this before.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you can find someone who makes a perfect fit
Speaker 1: as a husband, but wouldn't be the greatest dad, or
Speaker 1: be the greatest dad, but then would neglect you as
Speaker 1: a wife. And he fits both qualities. And I see
Speaker 1: it with his family. I see how he is with
Speaker 1: his mom, And people say, how your partners treating their
Speaker 1: mother is such an indicator of how he's going to
Speaker 1: treat you, and it's he'll randomly by his mom flowers
Speaker 1: and he's so thoughtful, um, and so attentive to everyone's needs. Um.
Speaker 1: And I think that has a because you grew up
Speaker 1: with a family of five well with your mom three
Speaker 1: four four females. I'm terrible at Matt obviously. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: helped him be able to be the person that he has.
Speaker 1: Said it. When you're talking about a guy can either
Speaker 1: make a good husband, but he might not make a
Speaker 1: good father. He can make a good father, not good husband.
Speaker 1: I can relate because you know, whenever they cast Batman,
Speaker 1: sometimes you can get someone who can be a good Batman,
Speaker 1: but he's not a good Bruce Wayne. Or you can
Speaker 1: get someone who's a good Bruce Wayne but not a
Speaker 1: good Batman. World to check off all the boxes. I
Speaker 1: get it, Vanessa, I get where you told me that
Speaker 1: you like to draw analogies to films. Yeah the point,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, all the time that I'm just a walking
Speaker 1: movie quote guy. It's quite pathetic, and I really feel
Speaker 1: bad for Ashley that she has to deal with it
Speaker 1: for the rest of her life. But oh, actually, because
Speaker 1: I want to bring this up because you're like O
Speaker 1: can we talk about how terrible Once Upon a Time
Speaker 1: is the TV show. I'm like, for sure Jared and
Speaker 1: Ashley would appreciate it. I've never seen it. I'm not
Speaker 1: a big TV show guy. Actually just recently got into Riverdale,
Speaker 1: which I'm like four years late. But I just watched
Speaker 1: season one and really enjoyed it. It was good. It's
Speaker 1: really good. But Once upon a Time I don't get
Speaker 1: into TV shows. Did you not like it? No? I
Speaker 1: I do like TV shows, Like I don't watch TV,
Speaker 1: but I'll binge watch at night if I have time
Speaker 1: to put something on. But she started watching this show,
Speaker 1: and yeah, it's not I love it. It's all about
Speaker 1: like Disney princess characters and how like their world is
Speaker 1: intertwined with our world now and how they're stuck here.
Speaker 1: It's so cool. It's I don't I like actually watched it?
Speaker 1: She definitely did. I remember she was talking about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys, we love TV. That's great. But we're still
Speaker 1: talking about the future here. Isn't this help? I binge
Speaker 1: watched TV too much. That's great. We love television. It's great.
Speaker 1: A little what else is? So? What can we expect
Speaker 1: coming from the Vanessa and Josh relationship because you're four
Speaker 1: months away from your one year mark. Again, we're using
Speaker 1: that term loosely. We don't need the exact day. But
Speaker 1: I mean, like you said, you're both full all in,
Speaker 1: which is fantastic. So it's like, what's the next necessary
Speaker 1: step for you guys have what have you talked about?
Speaker 1: It sounds like you both want children at some point.
Speaker 1: I remember Vanessa has told us she's been very voke
Speaker 1: about in the in the past that she was dating
Speaker 1: a guy who said that he didn't want kids, and
Speaker 1: she knew from that point that she no longer wanted
Speaker 1: to be interested. So I would assume that you guys
Speaker 1: have talked about that. Yeah, she's been very upfront about
Speaker 1: wanting kids, to think, within the first five minutes of talking,
Speaker 1: so you know, I knew that. Um. But one of
Speaker 1: the things that I love about us is that we're
Speaker 1: both really close to our families. Yeah. I think that
Speaker 1: our families get along also. Um. But it's an interesting question.
Speaker 1: I mean, I see us uh going to full nine yards. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a challenging question to answer too, because it's like,
Speaker 1: obviously have the private conversations and then like some random
Speaker 1: person that you just met is asking you the same question.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, what's what's on a podcast? No? But
Speaker 1: I mean from the moment that I met her, I swear,
Speaker 1: from the first time that we were communicating, I really
Speaker 1: felt like this was the one. Yeah, and that's something
Speaker 1: that you're very Tori. You think as well, obviously, which
Speaker 1: is very important. Where did the whole nine yards phrase
Speaker 1: come from? What did you stop getting us off topic
Speaker 1: one second? I know it is a movie. What is
Speaker 1: the whole nine yards? What does that mean? Question is
Speaker 1: does it take nine yards to make a No, it's
Speaker 1: ten yards for our first down. I have no idea
Speaker 1: we asked him a question about the relationship at all.
Speaker 1: I know, I just wanted to ask. I always yards
Speaker 1: is a colloquial American English phrase meaning everything the whole lot,
Speaker 1: or when used as no, we're looking for like the
Speaker 1: origin like why is it yeah? Why is it nine?
Speaker 1: Why do you have to go nine yards to go
Speaker 1: the full distance? Anyway? Well? Well up, Tori's got it.
Speaker 1: Well Tori is looking that up, and Dean will give
Speaker 1: us an explanation. Um, so I'm sorry, can tinue so
Speaker 1: you guys see kids in the future. Josh if you
Speaker 1: don't mind me asking how old are you? I guess
Speaker 1: I'm thirty four. Thirty four, Okay, the gray hair in
Speaker 1: the world. Well, that's the thing. I was going to
Speaker 1: either say, you could easily be in your mid thirties,
Speaker 1: you're late twenties. Um, you have in my mid forties.
Speaker 1: You're honestly, yeah, but you don't look old. It's just
Speaker 1: the gray hair. Because I was like, either he has
Speaker 1: gray hair because he's in his late thirties or the
Speaker 1: forties and he just looks great for his age, or
Speaker 1: he just got gray hair early in his life, but
Speaker 1: thirty four got So it works so well for you
Speaker 1: to thank you, dude, gray hair is in. It conveniently
Speaker 1: happened that I'm gonna dye my hair gray. I actually
Speaker 1: wanted to dye my hair gray, my hair white when
Speaker 1: I was younger. I just really started going white. So
Speaker 1: so you just manifested that, uh, he had little hairy.
Speaker 1: In other words, he was bald. Okay, maybe just like
Speaker 1: little hair. Maybe he kept the chort you know, Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: he's shaved. Okay, So Vanessa, you nevers bought him balding.
Speaker 1: Then no, I feel like he has a really good
Speaker 1: he's got great something to consider. You guys might have
Speaker 1: kids at some point, you know, I don't care. That's
Speaker 1: that's this. Can we expect an engagement anytime soon before
Speaker 1: the end of twenty nineteen? Go Bra, what are we
Speaker 1: in July? I have so many mosquito bites onwhow have
Speaker 1: you guys talked about in an engagement? Yes? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, that's all we need to know. So there's
Speaker 1: there's a dialogue of Vanessa potentially having her a ring
Speaker 1: on her finger. There's lots of dialogue, some emails being
Speaker 1: sent about that. You know before that though, you guys,
Speaker 1: would you live to get? You live together? First week?
Speaker 1: So we He has his own place, um, and I
Speaker 1: have mine. I live in the Old Part. He lives
Speaker 1: in Griffin Town whatever. No one knows where any of
Speaker 1: this is. But we're five minutes away from each other.
Speaker 1: But we're always at each other's house. Like he's either
Speaker 1: packing up a bag so he can seep up my
Speaker 1: place or I'm packing up a bag so I can
Speaker 1: see bad place. Um. But we still have our two apartments.
Speaker 1: But don't you think, practically speaking, you want to just
Speaker 1: get rid of two rent payments and just make one
Speaker 1: rent payment or mortgage payment whichever. Yeah. Um, I think
Speaker 1: we haven't found the perfect spot yet because my place
Speaker 1: is a little bit small, and I love the area
Speaker 1: that I'm living in. Mine apparently doesn't have enough to like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of the plan is to stay in
Speaker 1: Montreal though, Yeah, yeah, are you pretty? You're pretty heavily
Speaker 1: rooted within Montreal work and stuff like that. Family grew
Speaker 1: up there, in lots of family there. He's such a
Speaker 1: proud Canadian. It's so cute, it really is, because like
Speaker 1: when someone well, I guess, like in the States, if
Speaker 1: you ask where you're from, you say, yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: you say in the States. Well, like if I say,
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna ask you what you are, what do
Speaker 1: you answer, well, my heritage? No, Like if I feel like,
Speaker 1: if you're traveling in Europe, people going, oh, yeah, then
Speaker 1: of course I'm from America totally. But like if I
Speaker 1: met someone from Minnesota, I wouldn't be like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: from America. But when you say your state and with
Speaker 1: you you'd say Rhode Island. I was the same thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: whenever I'm traveling and someone asked, when I prob just
Speaker 1: say Usa, yeah, And then like if they speak English,
Speaker 1: they say where in the USA or like California and California.
Speaker 1: So in Canada it's really different. People specifically will often
Speaker 1: go into their like origins. So some people go what
Speaker 1: are you and then they'll say, well, I'm Greek or
Speaker 1: I'm Italian, that's what I do. I say I'm Italian,
Speaker 1: but I'm not. I was born in Canada, but my
Speaker 1: my back, my dad was heritage. And it never stops there.
Speaker 1: Like if you answer your Canadian, they'll be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but what are you really? You know, and then they're
Speaker 1: like trying to dig I was fun to put a
Speaker 1: stop to it, and I just that that's my answer.
Speaker 1: I'm Canadian. Yeah. I find Montreal it's like a little
Speaker 1: its own thing in Canada feels separated. They've been trying
Speaker 1: to be back has been trying to separate. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: it's very European there. It's pretty awesome. I loved it,
Speaker 1: but when we were have you been to Chicago just
Speaker 1: the airport? Loved it. Not when it's super hot or
Speaker 1: super no, I know, but I felt like it was
Speaker 1: a cleaner New York. Yeah, they're so much to do um. Anyways,
Speaker 1: we were just there for like a couple hours. It
Speaker 1: was a little bit too much. But all this to say, yes,
Speaker 1: we do envision a life together. I don't. I So
Speaker 1: I've always, uh, if anyone that's been listening to our
Speaker 1: podcast for a really long time knows that I've been
Speaker 1: talking about freezing, wanting to freeze my eggs, wanting to
Speaker 1: become a foster mom, um, wanting to adopt. I still
Speaker 1: want to do all those things. I well, maybe not
Speaker 1: free freezing. I don't know about freezing my eggs now,
Speaker 1: but um, I still want to adopt. I still want
Speaker 1: to become a foster mom in in you know, one
Speaker 1: form of or another. Like I don't know how I
Speaker 1: would do that right now, but because my place is
Speaker 1: so small, but I would love to do it. But
Speaker 1: definitely would like to have my own kids too. And well,
Speaker 1: Josh comes from a big family, since he has three sisters,
Speaker 1: no brothers, it's just you for yeah, we're the inverse
Speaker 1: of each other. I have in my family. It's three boys,
Speaker 1: one girl. You're three, where do you that's probably I'm
Speaker 1: the order. I'm the youngest. Okay, so the youngest. That's
Speaker 1: probably why I'm much more emotionally closed off than you.
Speaker 1: Are because my brothers. I believe it's not my faults
Speaker 1: at all. It's funny. A lot of my guy friends
Speaker 1: who grew up with brothers, same thing. That's interesting, very different. Um, Jared,
Speaker 1: I do want to we figured out the whole nine yards?
Speaker 1: Oh perfect? What is it still? The whole nine yards?
Speaker 1: It's from World War Two. Apparently the gatling guns that
Speaker 1: they used to take down the fighter pilots, they used
Speaker 1: twenty seven ft ropes of bullets, and so they would say,
Speaker 1: I'm going to give them the whole nine yards. You know.
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. Yeah, a little bit smart to see
Speaker 1: the more you know. Um, well, we're super happy for
Speaker 1: both you guys, Vanessa and Josh. The Silver Fox, the
Speaker 1: Gray Wolf. Josh. We're very glad that you're here. The
Speaker 1: Silver Fox. Yeah, it's been too really nice, meaning you guys.
Speaker 1: I know it's a travel day from hell. Yes it was.
Speaker 1: And I was so nervous him. I mean, with Jared,
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be great, But with Dean,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know what Jared is like, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1: Jared is like calm and always nice, normal Dean Dean
Speaker 1: will like try to dig for information and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's he gonna do it early in the morning. That's
Speaker 1: why you're probably still happy to even when it's you guys,
Speaker 1: I like to ask difficult questions. But I I mean,
Speaker 1: Josh and I just met, so I don't want you
Speaker 1: too much with a dick, you know. I appreciate that.
Speaker 1: But because Jared said something, I can I might have
Speaker 1: knew that said something early on that you wanted to
Speaker 1: know what she said to him about us before? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's basically what I said. I said, Jared
Speaker 1: is the one that's going to calm He's like, he's complimenting.
Speaker 1: He likes to compliment, and Dean, you never know what
Speaker 1: kind of what kind of questions are you gonna get from?
Speaker 1: I never know what you never know. I'm going to
Speaker 1: wait up. You're very complimentary as well. Though. The nice
Speaker 1: thing about living in a van is there's only one
Speaker 1: side of the bed, and it's at the foot where
Speaker 1: you have to crawl out of so it's like I'm
Speaker 1: always jumping out of the same side of the bed.
Speaker 1: Was that a metaphor that I just didn't get? It
Speaker 1: was a literal thing that I experienced every day. Never mind, well,
Speaker 1: we do have an email before we get going that
Speaker 1: I would love to not read. But before we do
Speaker 1: the email, let's talk about Beach Body on Demand. So, Dean,
Speaker 1: did you get prepared at all before you went to Paradise?
Speaker 1: I did, and I used Beach Body on Demand because
Speaker 1: it's an easy way to use their streaming service that
Speaker 1: gives you ins and access to a wide variety of
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Speaker 1: My favorite class is Transformed twenty, which is a high
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Speaker 1: transform your body in mind in just twenty minutes a day.
Speaker 1: The trainer Shanti my absolute favorite. He pushes you while
Speaker 1: motivating you and encouraging you at the entire way through
Speaker 1: youone I want to jump in here. They offer hundreds
Speaker 1: of effective workouts for all fitness levels, ranging from bodybuilding
Speaker 1: to weight training, to cardio hit to yoga and even
Speaker 1: dance workouts. Workouts as short as ten minutes that don't
Speaker 1: require extra equipment. You know what else, Dean tell me
Speaker 1: they have the best deal in fitness, and they had
Speaker 1: the best deal for our listeners. Are help by Sucit
Speaker 1: Dating listeners. You guys can try it absolutely free, did
Speaker 1: you hear me? Not just free? Absolutely free, which is
Speaker 1: way better than just free. I even use this to
Speaker 1: prepare for my beach body in Paradise and I have
Speaker 1: never felt more confident the mustache. It really all came
Speaker 1: together and right now our listeners can get a special free,
Speaker 1: absolutely free trial. Now, just free, absolutely free. All you
Speaker 1: have to do is text Dean to thirty thirty thirty.
Speaker 1: You'll get full access to the entire platform for absolutely free,
Speaker 1: all the workouts, the nutrition information and support totally free. Again.
Speaker 1: Just text d e a N to three zero three
Speaker 1: zero three zero and what is d e A N
Speaker 1: spell Dean? Dean? That's our favorite? Allright? We do have
Speaker 1: an email, one email. We have one email from Jackie
Speaker 1: head line Dean's mustache. It's my favorite headline of all time.
Speaker 1: Dean has said he changed his looks so women will
Speaker 1: like him more for who he is on the inside,
Speaker 1: not just for his looks. But if a woman didn't
Speaker 1: look conventionally attractive, would he ever go for her? The
Speaker 1: girls he's gotten with the pasts have been absolutely gorgeous. Lindsay, Danielle,
Speaker 1: and Christina are all bombshells. I doubt he'd go for
Speaker 1: anything less, especially since his options on Paradise are quote
Speaker 1: limited to only beautiful women, and yet he expects to
Speaker 1: weed out women with his ugly stash. Sounds like a
Speaker 1: bit of sexist double standard. I appreciate it for multiple reasons.
Speaker 1: One because I never dated a girl named Lindsay, and
Speaker 1: two Rachel Lindsay. I think that's that's what I think. Oh.
Speaker 1: I love it when people give me crap on the
Speaker 1: like on Twitter or something and they're like, I can't
Speaker 1: believe you did this to this person and they spell
Speaker 1: that person's name wrong. Just something about it just makes
Speaker 1: me chuckles so much, because it's like, at least, if
Speaker 1: you're gonna, if you're gonna ask that question, at least
Speaker 1: spell the name right. Yeah, get get your info right.
Speaker 1: At least just google it, spell check it. You can't
Speaker 1: care that much about that situation, and then misspell the
Speaker 1: name exactly. You have it back to your mustache. The
Speaker 1: mustache question. I don't think it's a sexist double standard.
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of a silly thing to say.
Speaker 1: I just I thought it was just a funny you
Speaker 1: Have you ever dated someone, If you would line up
Speaker 1: all of them that you've dated, are they all equally
Speaker 1: physically attractive? Well, beauties in the eye of the beholder. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to date someone I'm not physically attracted to.
Speaker 1: That is that one of the things that you look
Speaker 1: for in a relationship. I think it's an important part
Speaker 1: of the relationship to be physically attracted to the person
Speaker 1: you're absolutely But also I hate when people say that
Speaker 1: that's a bad thing, that oh, you're only you know
Speaker 1: you're dating someone because you were attracted to them first.
Speaker 1: What is all the dating apps? It's not like you
Speaker 1: don't swipe through dating apps the first thing you see
Speaker 1: is their resume or like things that they lift off
Speaker 1: that they like are just like the first thing you
Speaker 1: see is just a picture of them with their name
Speaker 1: and age, and it's like, as human beings, of course,
Speaker 1: the first thing that we're initially attracted to is their looks.
Speaker 1: But um so I get kind of mad when when
Speaker 1: people use that against you, because everybody does that, you know,
Speaker 1: and with with you or like anybody. People are attracted
Speaker 1: to different type of people. So like something that I
Speaker 1: find beautiful, you might not find people, you know. I wish,
Speaker 1: I wish that I had like some deep philosophical answer
Speaker 1: to this question. The point is, Jackie, the mustache was
Speaker 1: a joke. It was a joke. I wanted to do
Speaker 1: something silly, to go down to Paradise and look ridiculous.
Speaker 1: And it seems to have worked, because you're emailing us
Speaker 1: about it right now. And yes, it's nice to like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I really think that you didn't grow
Speaker 1: the mustache just for people to like you more on
Speaker 1: the inside than the I think you did it sarcastically,
Speaker 1: and so I think people are taking the mustache a
Speaker 1: little too literally exactly, And I I like, I really
Speaker 1: don't know, Like I don't really have much to add
Speaker 1: other than that, because it was just basically a big
Speaker 1: ironic joke. Anyways, that'll do it for this week's episode
Speaker 1: of Help I Suck at Dating. Big thank you to Vanessa,
Speaker 1: but a bigger thank you to Josh for making a
Speaker 1: Fox the Gray Wolf the man number before you take off.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've got a lot to learn from
Speaker 1: this man right here. You numbers, we should just add
Speaker 1: Josh to the group. Text that so you can just
Speaker 1: be informed about all the help I suck a dating
Speaker 1: nonsense that we talked about on a weekly basis. That
Speaker 1: sounds great, but I still require someone on one time
Speaker 1: with this man, um shellfish. Thank you to Jared, big
Speaker 1: thank you to everyone up here in Tahoe as well,
Speaker 1: and big thank you to our sponsors, Thank you to
Speaker 1: our listeners. What else? Who else do you want to
Speaker 1: thank you? Big thank you to Beachbody on Demand. You
Speaker 1: guys again can get a special free trial membership when
Speaker 1: you text Dean tot and that. That'll do it. We'll
Speaker 1: see you next week. I guess we'll talk to you
Speaker 1: next week. Uh be sure to tune in then because
Speaker 1: maybe we'll suck a little bit less. Follow help by
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared on I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio or wherever you listen to podcast