Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2: Hey fam we are so excited to welcome you to
Speaker 2: a very special episode of the bright Side. We're going
Speaker 2: to be diving into our own journeys with imposter syndrome
Speaker 2: with a couple of very special guests, and we're also
Speaker 2: going to discover how to remind ourselves that we're worth it.
Speaker 3: If it sounds a little different today, it's because Loriel
Speaker 3: Paris and the Hello Sunshine Collective have come together to
Speaker 3: present the first ever live recorded episode of the bright
Speaker 3: Side at Hello Sunshine Shine Away in Los Angeles. We
Speaker 3: are so excited to highlight an incredible collaboration between Loriel
Speaker 3: Paris and the Hello Sunshine Collective. We're creating community around
Speaker 3: confidence and helping women fearlessly pursue their passions. We'd like
Speaker 3: to give a big shout out to our Hello Sunshine
Speaker 3: members here with us today. I see some familiar faces
Speaker 3: in the room.
Speaker 2: It's Tuesday, October eighth.
Speaker 3: I'm Simone Voice, I'm Danielle Robey and this is the
Speaker 3: bright Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we
Speaker 3: come together to share women's stories, to laugh, to learn,
Speaker 3: and brighten your day. Hello Shine Away, Welcome to the
Speaker 3: bright Side.
Speaker 2: So for our best es at home. Shineaway is equal
Speaker 2: parts entertainment and empowerment. There are panels, workshops, author meet
Speaker 2: and greets. We've truly got it all. So we're going
Speaker 2: to talk about the Hello Sunshine Collective for a moment.
Speaker 2: It has been a game changer for both of us.
Speaker 2: Danielle and I joined the collective this past year. For
Speaker 2: me personally, it has been this time of radical self discovery,
Speaker 2: of new friendships and expansion. And this year's class features creators, innovators,
Speaker 2: and influencers across food, business, art and culture, including front
Speaker 2: of the Pod Bobby Dalkin, who will be joining us
Speaker 2: on stage in just a few moments.
Speaker 3: Part of the beauty of the collective is how uplifting
Speaker 3: it is. Today's show focuses on imposter syndrome, which the
Speaker 3: collective works to counter through mentorship, through sisterhood and positive affirmation,
Speaker 3: and by validating who you are and what you have
Speaker 3: to offer. Being a part of the collective has opened
Speaker 3: up so many doors for me and Simone, and it's
Speaker 3: also allowed us to show up for other women as
Speaker 3: an ally and validate their ideas and their contributions.
Speaker 2: I couldn't have said that better myself Danielle. And the
Speaker 2: interesting thing about imposter syndrome is that it actually is
Speaker 2: more prevalent in women, even though both genders experience it.
Speaker 2: But what's so special about our Hello, Sunshine community is
Speaker 2: our focus on connection and support. Those two things have
Speaker 2: been proven to ease the negative intrusive effects of imposter syndrome.
Speaker 3: Well said, see money, Okay, thank you very much. I
Speaker 3: think now's a good time for us to bring our
Speaker 3: guests in. Ya.
Speaker 2: Yes, let's do it, shine away.
Speaker 1: Are you ready for our convo?
Speaker 2: Please help us?
Speaker 3: Welcome to the stage, author chef and newly minted Collective
Speaker 3: member Gobby Dalkin and Broadway sensation co host of the
Speaker 3: Emmy winning daytime show The Top.
Speaker 1: Amanda clues.
Speaker 4: It.
Speaker 2: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, y'all. I can't think of two better
Speaker 2: people to have this conversation with. We both had both
Speaker 2: of you on our show recently recently, and now we
Speaker 2: get to do it. Irl.
Speaker 5: I know this is like guys.
Speaker 1: Hi, guys hi.
Speaker 6: Everyone, Well, let's take a quick picture.
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
Speaker 6: I'm on low sleep by before week old, so don't
Speaker 6: judge me. Everybody wave high.
Speaker 2: I'm amazer here right now. This is so impressive.
Speaker 6: Oh I would never say no to come hang out
Speaker 6: with you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sometimes we do it over zoom.
Speaker 3: So it's really exciting for us to be here in
Speaker 3: person with you truly.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I think we should talk about why imposter
Speaker 2: syndrome is the theme of our talk today. The reason
Speaker 2: why we wanted to talk about this is because in
Speaker 2: the months that we've been recording our show, we've just
Speaker 2: seen this come up as this recurring theme throughout a
Speaker 2: lot of our conversations. So how about we just start
Speaker 2: with a little bit of level setting. I want to
Speaker 2: start by defining the term. So, imposter syndrome is a
Speaker 2: behavioral pattern characterized by persistent doubts in your abilities and accomplishments.
Speaker 2: And people who often struggle with imposter syndrome often fear
Speaker 2: being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of their success.
Speaker 2: Kind of triggering to read that book.
Speaker 3: Well, what I think is interesting is actually, let me
Speaker 3: ask a question first.
Speaker 1: Does anybody keep New Year's resolutions?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: Wow, I'm very impressed.
Speaker 3: We have like four hands in the air. I can
Speaker 3: never keep a New Year's resolution. So I choose a
Speaker 3: word of the year, and this year I chose worth actually,
Speaker 3: and so I realized I had to work online.
Speaker 1: Self esteem is what you think about yourself.
Speaker 3: Self worth is what you think you deserve, and I
Speaker 3: had to work on what I thought I deserved. And
Speaker 3: I think I share that because imposter syndrome is so
Speaker 3: tied to our self forth. So I want to start
Speaker 3: with you, Amanda, when was the first time you ever
Speaker 3: felt it? Yes?
Speaker 7: Okay, so this was I when I got the job
Speaker 7: at The Talk as a TV host, and I think
Speaker 7: it will is my second or third time guest co hosting.
Speaker 7: And Jamie Lee Curtis was our guest interview that day,
Speaker 7: and I was like, I just remember being in the
Speaker 7: dressing room being like, I can't interview Jamie Lee Curtis
Speaker 7: like I am a nobody, Like I can't say so
Speaker 7: Jamie Like I was like, this is I don't know
Speaker 7: how this is gonna go down. And there's five of us,
Speaker 7: you know, hosts on this show. I think it was
Speaker 7: still over zoom because it was COVID, so it wasn't
Speaker 7: even in person, you know, which kind of brought down
Speaker 7: the anxiety of it in general. But you know, we're
Speaker 7: on the show. You have to do what you gotta do.
Speaker 7: And it was like my turn to ask Jamielee Curtis
Speaker 7: my question. And I was and you know, the camera
Speaker 7: turns to me and I'm like, ah, so Jamie and
Speaker 7: she goes stop. She was like Amanda, and I was like.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 5: I was like and she was like, grief.
Speaker 7: Is love that we can't express, and I think you
Speaker 7: are an inspiration and she starts going on and I'm like,
Speaker 7: what is happening right now? That's so beautiful. It was
Speaker 7: so beautiful, and she literally like flipped the switch on
Speaker 7: everything that I was feeling in that moment, and it
Speaker 7: kind of made me realize, like, wow, imposter syndrome is
Speaker 7: all just like my self doubt and negativity, and like,
Speaker 7: it just was such an eye opening experience of what
Speaker 7: you know, you never know what somebody else on the
Speaker 7: other side is thinking, and yet you're damaging yourself with
Speaker 7: your own thoughts.
Speaker 5: But it was amazing.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I think we need other people in our lives
Speaker 2: who can bring us out of that spiral and remind
Speaker 2: us of who we are. Like that is truly the
Speaker 2: importance of friendship and community. Now, Goby, you've said that
Speaker 2: imposter syndrome shows up for you in your first right,
Speaker 2: like your first private chef moment, your first ig live,
Speaker 2: your first cookbook. Yeah, what feelings does this conversation bring
Speaker 2: up for you?
Speaker 6: I think imposter syndrome for me is when you're on
Speaker 6: the brink of something new and you just don't feel
Speaker 6: like you're quite ready for it. And so, like you said,
Speaker 6: the first time I was a private chef, I was
Speaker 6: still in culinary school. I had no idea, I didn't
Speaker 6: know how to cook fish, and I was cooking for
Speaker 6: a family who loved fish. So like it was a
Speaker 6: very much fake it till you make it moment for me.
Speaker 6: And the first time I published a book, I was
Speaker 6: on the Today Show and I had never done live
Speaker 6: TV before, and I blacked out and I just remember
Speaker 6: Craig at the end of it was like that was
Speaker 6: such an incredible first time segment and gave me a
Speaker 6: hug and high five, and it was like that moment
Speaker 6: where I was I needed that reassurance from him to
Speaker 6: go out and do even more. And so the first
Speaker 6: time you're ever doing something, you have a lot of
Speaker 6: nerves and you're calling your friends and you just have
Speaker 6: to surround yourself with people who build you up. So
Speaker 6: when you're on the brink of something new, when you
Speaker 6: need some reassurance, you can have that.
Speaker 7: You know what I think too, It's like, I think
Speaker 7: we get imposter syndrome because we don't necessarily allow ourselves
Speaker 7: to celebrate entirely the things that we accomplish in our life. Yes,
Speaker 7: I think we're so used to I did that, Okay,
Speaker 7: what's next? What else am I gonna do now? Like
Speaker 7: I haven't done enough this week, I haven't done enough
Speaker 7: this month, I haven't done enough this year.
Speaker 5: I have to keep doing more things.
Speaker 7: And so you don't allow yourself to really feel the
Speaker 7: accomplishments that we are achieving in our lives. And so
Speaker 7: then when something new does come along, you feel like
Speaker 7: you're not ready for the Today Show. But like you're ready,
Speaker 7: You've been prepared. You're just you're not allowing yourself to
Speaker 7: sit in it, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to ask you guys about these four
Speaker 3: types or subtypes of imposter syndrome. There's the perfectionist, so
Speaker 3: anything less than perfection is considered failure. The natural genius,
Speaker 3: which is a funny name. Success is measured by how
Speaker 3: easy something feels. Superwoman competence is measured by your abilities
Speaker 3: to successfully juggle everything.
Speaker 1: I'm Thanksgiving.
Speaker 3: And the experts excess is measured by the volume of
Speaker 3: knowledge that you have. Show of hands in the audience.
Speaker 3: Do these four types resonate with you? Yeah, I'm getting
Speaker 3: lots of head nods. Yeah, one or multiple.
Speaker 2: That's what I was feeling as you were reading it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I feel like I'm a combination, which that's
Speaker 2: just how well are you? I think I'm a combination
Speaker 2: of all of them except natural genius, Like nothing has
Speaker 2: ever felt I can never say I've identified as a
Speaker 2: natural genius or that anything has ever felt easy in
Speaker 2: my life. So not that one, but all the other
Speaker 2: ones I want to hear. Yeah, how about what do
Speaker 2: you guys think?
Speaker 7: Well, I was just gonna say Goby was just pregnant
Speaker 7: and did a whole book to her and came out
Speaker 7: with a whole line at Grayton Barrels.
Speaker 5: So I'm pretty sure you're a superwoman friend.
Speaker 6: That does resonate and you never want to say it.
Speaker 6: But the natural genius of it, that was how easy
Speaker 6: things feel is definitely something that hits home for me.
Speaker 1: Oh say more, what do you mean?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: When I I mean, listen, I definitely struggle with things
Speaker 6: and that's hard for me. But when something comes to
Speaker 6: me really naturally. For example, when I first did an
Speaker 6: install liive and you're like, I don't know how to
Speaker 6: go live. I want my own TV show. No one's
Speaker 6: going to give you my TV show. I'm going to
Speaker 6: do install live instead, it was very like seamless to
Speaker 6: do it, and I just kept doing it and I
Speaker 6: felt great about it, and that gave me that confidence
Speaker 6: to keep going.
Speaker 3: I interviewed a psychologist once who said competence equals confidence,
Speaker 3: and that's kind of what I'm thinking with this, Like
Speaker 3: the more you do it, the less scared you are.
Speaker 6: Yeah, A repetition's a huge way to get past imposter
Speaker 6: syndrome for me, Like in continued education, reading all the things,
Speaker 6: asking people who have done it before you. Those are
Speaker 6: things that I always lean into when I'm feeling like
Speaker 6: I shouldn't be here.
Speaker 2: Okay, So Goby. That leads me to my hot take
Speaker 2: on imposter syndrome. Are you guys ready please please? Okay?
Speaker 2: I actually don't think imposter syndrome is always a bad thing.
Speaker 2: I think that it means that you are at the
Speaker 2: edge of your abilities and your skills and you're just
Speaker 2: facing a new challenge that is currently tad bit higher
Speaker 2: than where you feel your skills and abilities are at.
Speaker 2: And I do the exact same thing. I've had this,
Speaker 2: you know, one eighty perspective shift on imposter syndrome, and
Speaker 2: I've realized the things that helped me get through it
Speaker 2: are reading books, are listening to thought leaders in this space,
Speaker 2: and it's actually it's pushed me. It's it's motivated me.
Speaker 3: That's like the competence part. Right, Yeah, you just keep
Speaker 3: doing it, Amanda. How does it show up for you
Speaker 3: and your body? I freeze sometimes, Gosh, no, I will.
Speaker 7: I'll probably just trick myself into saying like mantras like
Speaker 7: if I'm going somewhere and I'm nervous about feeling like
Speaker 7: I shouldn't be there, I'll just I'll just start doing
Speaker 7: mantras of like I'm amazing, you know, I mean, just
Speaker 7: like things just worth it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm worth it.
Speaker 2: I should be there.
Speaker 7: I know what I'm doing, you know, Yeah, like those
Speaker 7: kinds of things, and I'll i'll just you know, throw
Speaker 7: my shoulders back.
Speaker 5: I'll just like work on.
Speaker 7: Exuding confidence on the outside, even if on the inside,
Speaker 7: I'm freaking out.
Speaker 3: The way you're describing it feels like anxiety. Is that
Speaker 3: how it manifests?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 5: Hello, like anxiety?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, yeah, yes, that's the answer.
Speaker 2: So how do you navigate those experiences of imposter syndrome? Now, Like,
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about how both of you are in these
Speaker 2: fields where you are, you know, constantly up against people's opinions,
Speaker 2: people's criticisms, and those things can they can tend to
Speaker 2: stay and linger with us? How do you deal with
Speaker 2: those comments and criticisms on like a micro level.
Speaker 7: You know, I'm really good at kind of just rolling
Speaker 7: off my shoulders.
Speaker 5: I learned when I was doing Broadway.
Speaker 7: After I did a couple of Broadway shows and auditioning,
Speaker 7: and you're constantly against amazing people who are easily more
Speaker 7: talent than you, better singers, any better dancers than you,
Speaker 7: should get the job or whatever. I just started staying
Speaker 7: in my own lane. I'd be at auditions and I
Speaker 7: would tell myself, put your blinders on, and I kind
Speaker 7: of that's how I've always kind of approached things, jobs
Speaker 7: and everything. I just got a new job and I
Speaker 7: was up against a couple people, and I just remember
Speaker 7: at the last audition I was at.
Speaker 5: I was like, stay in my own lane, Amanda. You
Speaker 5: are only you.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you can only bring yourself to everything, you know
Speaker 7: what I mean? So I just that's my kind of
Speaker 7: rule of thumb.
Speaker 3: Gobby is known for the slutty brownie? Does anybody know
Speaker 3: that you know what the slutty brownie is?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: And that came up because you were chefing for Jessica
Speaker 3: Simpson and her family chef.
Speaker 6: It's not worrying.
Speaker 8: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I like it the private chef.
Speaker 3: I'm wondering what you think the difference is between normal
Speaker 3: self doubt and imposter syndrome because you've put yourself in
Speaker 3: a lot of spaces that are new.
Speaker 6: Yes, normal self doubt and imposters. God, great question. I
Speaker 6: mean I think inherently we all have self doubt, period.
Speaker 6: I think imposter syndrome shows up a little bit more
Speaker 6: for me in work environments, like, for example, self doubt.
Speaker 6: I just had a second baby, and I'm like, am
Speaker 6: I gonna love this baby the same? Like I like
Speaker 6: I doubted. I didn't know I would, I didn't know
Speaker 6: I could. I do no one panic, But like I
Speaker 6: until I got on that delivery table, I was very
Speaker 6: I doubt it my I just didn't know, and imposter
Speaker 6: syndrome is a little bit more prevalent for me in
Speaker 6: professional environments.
Speaker 7: I was gonna say, do you think that imposter syndrome
Speaker 7: is brought on by like other people involved? Like self
Speaker 7: doubt is Like I can be at home and have
Speaker 7: self doubt, but I experienced imposter syndrome if I'm in
Speaker 7: an environment with more other people.
Speaker 1: I've never thought about that.
Speaker 5: That's really interesting it happened to anyone else here.
Speaker 6: Because you're comparing yourself to more people when you're surrounding
Speaker 6: yourself with them.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Probably, Okay, speaking of comparison, I want to talk about
Speaker 2: how social media factors into all of this. For you.
Speaker 2: We're getting some moans and groans out there.
Speaker 1: Some headnuds.
Speaker 2: So the University of Edinburgh found this link between browsing
Speaker 2: LinkedIn and imposter syndrome, which is really interesting. So I
Speaker 2: can't even imagine what happens when we're on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 2: Actually I take that back, I can't imagine because I
Speaker 2: know what it feels to scroll through and be comparing
Speaker 2: yourself to other people. How does social media factor into
Speaker 2: this for you.
Speaker 6: Well, my mom once told my mom is my unpaid therapist.
Speaker 6: She's not actually a therapist, but she could be. She
Speaker 6: once told me comparison is the thief of joy.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 6: And I really try and remember that. So when I
Speaker 6: am in a deep dark TikTok scroll or Instagram scroll
Speaker 6: and I've all of a sudden past four hours and
Speaker 6: my eyes are red like it's there is entertainment, and
Speaker 6: we have to remember that that is just a snapshot
Speaker 6: of someone's life and it's a highlight reel, and some
Speaker 6: people are putting some more vulnerable things forward, but for
Speaker 6: the most part, don't lose herself into comparing people on
Speaker 6: social media because it's really their best foot forward.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would say I think social media for me
Speaker 7: just makes me feel like I'm not doing enough sometimes,
Speaker 7: and I think that goes back to the feeling of,
Speaker 7: you know, not really experiencing the joys and the successes
Speaker 7: we have in our life because you do something and
Speaker 7: then you're immediately looking on social media and you're like,
Speaker 7: oh my gosh, they're doing that. I have to do
Speaker 7: I have to do more. I have to do more,
Speaker 7: and you're not even celebrating what you just did. And
Speaker 7: I do that all the time.
Speaker 1: Ali Goldstein be Loriel came on our podcast.
Speaker 7: Right there, you just got so shy.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I couldn't see you. Hi, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3: Well okay, Ali right here said something on our podcast
Speaker 3: that really resonated with me. She talked about looking in
Speaker 3: the mirror and telling yourself you're worth it.
Speaker 1: I have little post its.
Speaker 2: On my mirror.
Speaker 3: I got it actually off of Instagram. It sounds very corny,
Speaker 3: but when I look in the mirror in the morning,
Speaker 3: it helps helps me. And I don't even have to
Speaker 3: say the affirmations out loud. I'd love to know from
Speaker 3: everybody here, Simone included. Do you have an affirmation something
Speaker 3: you say to yourself?
Speaker 5: Yes, yes I do.
Speaker 7: I think I started this again when I started my
Speaker 7: fitness company. I end every class, in every private in
Speaker 7: a star post. If you think about like everything we
Speaker 7: do in life is very small and compact, Like you're
Speaker 7: driving in your car, you're sitting at your desk, we're
Speaker 7: always on our phone. We always are making ourselves small.
Speaker 7: And when you stand in that star post, you're expanding
Speaker 7: your body. It actually boosts your testosterone and reduces just
Speaker 7: and anxiety. And then I always say, make yourself as
Speaker 7: big as you can as I do that pose, and
Speaker 7: I do it before any kind of like audition or
Speaker 7: interview or anything that I'm like freaking out nervous about,
Speaker 7: just to build up my confidence.
Speaker 1: I really like that, Amanda, that's time. I'm not usually
Speaker 1: a power post girl, but I like the star.
Speaker 2: I know I haven't tried the star post.
Speaker 7: It feels so good because we are constantly making ourselves small.
Speaker 5: Make yourself big.
Speaker 2: Well, that's what fear does to us, right like it
Speaker 2: makes us want to shrink down. But I can remember
Speaker 2: having imposter syndrome about a public speaking engagement and doing
Speaker 2: some research about how to kind of push through it.
Speaker 2: And one of the tips is to take up space,
Speaker 2: like take up space whenever you're speaking or whenever you're
Speaker 2: on stage. But I think that applies to so much
Speaker 2: more than just that environment. The idea of taking up
Speaker 2: space I think instills this confidence in us. Yes, yeah, Gobby,
Speaker 2: how about you? Do you have a mantra affirmation? Well?
Speaker 6: I do affirmations with my daughter. I don't do them
Speaker 6: for myself, but I probably should. But we look in
Speaker 6: the mirror and we say they're different every day. They
Speaker 6: change all the time. But for me, I think instead
Speaker 6: of doing, instead of my version of a positive affirmation
Speaker 6: is working out, Like I work out every day in
Speaker 6: the morning in some way, shape or form, just to
Speaker 6: get my head right. And I think that's probably my
Speaker 6: version of it.
Speaker 1: I've seen you work out.
Speaker 7: You really work out, Bobby, my lover, because you said
Speaker 7: your daughter. My son is in the audience. He's up there. Hi,
Speaker 7: al this, Hi Elvis, and let's see if he'll say it.
Speaker 5: We do, Elvis, what do we do? We do confidence check?
Speaker 7: And what do you say? What do you say? I'm
Speaker 7: so handsome. This is the highlight of the entire conversation.
Speaker 1: Because you're so handsome.
Speaker 6: He's so handsome, so sweet.
Speaker 2: Okay, Danielle, you're not getting out of this one. What's yours?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: I usually just say this sounds corny, but I say
Speaker 3: thank you, and I just think it's like the easiest,
Speaker 3: simplest prayer that you can have is just gratitude. And
Speaker 3: then I say, Danielle, you didn't come this far to
Speaker 3: come this far.
Speaker 1: I like that you have a really good one.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I actually there are two that come to mind for me.
Speaker 2: I had a conversation with one of my dear friends,
Speaker 2: Nate the week and he said to me, fear makes
Speaker 2: you forget who you are, and that is something that
Speaker 2: I think about all the time now. So just when
Speaker 2: I'm in those moments of fear, like remembering who you are,
Speaker 2: Remember I'm a man of clutes, I'm Danielle Robai, I'm
Speaker 2: small boys, I'm gotta be dalkin. You know, like we
Speaker 2: have to give ourselves those little pep talks. But I
Speaker 2: do have another one, but I need a little help.
Speaker 2: I don't want to do this alone. Okay, so you
Speaker 2: guys all have to do it with me. Okay. I
Speaker 2: literally did this out in the hallway. I did this
Speaker 2: when we did our talk show appearance together last week. Yes,
Speaker 2: so there's a phrase that I say to myself in
Speaker 2: the mirror, and it's impossible to say it without smiling.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna try it together. I am radiant. I
Speaker 2: am radiant. See you're all smiling. You can't help it.
Speaker 2: Your mouth just curves into a smile when you say
Speaker 2: it and just fills my body with good entertyes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was good.
Speaker 2: Should we take some audience questions? I think so we
Speaker 2: want to hear from all of you.
Speaker 6: Is there anybody out there who don't be shy? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Please, we want to bring you.
Speaker 9: I'm gonna bring you up anyways, I'll go because I'm
Speaker 9: standing right in front of the microphone.
Speaker 2: Thank you do tell us your name.
Speaker 9: I'm Catherine Podcast. I'm just so happy to have you
Speaker 9: guys all here today. But a big theme of today
Speaker 9: was your community. And I heard you talk about your mom,
Speaker 9: You've talked about your son. Who's someone else in your
Speaker 9: community that reminds you every day that.
Speaker 1: You're worth it?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 9: Great, and you're worth it is the Loreal tagline That
Speaker 9: is my favorite tagline of all time's tagline.
Speaker 6: Got to give a shout out to Loreal for that.
Speaker 1: It's a great question.
Speaker 6: Mine is my best friend Matt. He is also a
Speaker 6: Zumba instructor, so he exudes high energy and if I'm
Speaker 6: ever doubting myself or nervous about something, he will give
Speaker 6: me the most epic pep talk in his zumba energetic way.
Speaker 6: And he's that for me.
Speaker 1: That's so special that it's a best friend. You don't
Speaker 1: really hear that a lot.
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, I think like a lot of people say
Speaker 3: their mom or like a.
Speaker 6: Well she's said, my mom, I can't I can't repeat it.
Speaker 7: I would say mine is one of my best friends
Speaker 7: that has seen me through a lot of seasons of
Speaker 7: my life.
Speaker 5: Her name is Rachel.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 7: Where is she? She has seen me through a lot
Speaker 7: of different seasons, you know, marriage, divorce, marriage, loss, and
Speaker 7: she Yeah, she's like one of those friends that just
Speaker 7: like always gives me that punch where you're like, that's right, I'm.
Speaker 5: A man of cludes.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, you're like that's right.
Speaker 7: Okay, right, okay, good, I'm gonna go do that.
Speaker 8: Then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think it is about that friend though, like,
Speaker 3: like other than your other friends?
Speaker 1: Is it because you value her opinion?
Speaker 5: She's an angel on this earth? I really do think.
Speaker 7: I mean, my friend Sarah knows her as well. Wouldn't
Speaker 7: you say Rachel's an angel? She's an angel?
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I think I got lucky and I have an angel
Speaker 7: for a friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, everybody needs a Rachel in their life. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with the friends too. I mean, it's
Speaker 2: it's all about, you know, the friends. So many of
Speaker 2: my friends are in the audience today, and they are
Speaker 2: the people that I lean on and turn to whenever
Speaker 2: I need to remember what I'm about and what I
Speaker 2: can do. And my best friend Liz is someone that
Speaker 2: comes to mind. She uses exclamation points very generously, and
Speaker 2: I think it works. I think there. I think we
Speaker 2: need to research that because I think the exclamation points
Speaker 2: there's a scientific chemical reaction that happens in here.
Speaker 1: That just works.
Speaker 2: Yeah, how about you.
Speaker 1: I told my whole life to not use exclamation points,
Speaker 1: and now I spoke for it. Let's use some.
Speaker 2: I don't care.
Speaker 6: I am with you.
Speaker 7: I love prom like hello, goodbye, Hello, that's funny.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say my mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think she knows me best, for better and worse,
Speaker 3: and so I value her opinion. Yeah, okay, don't make
Speaker 3: me pick. You have a question you want to come up?
Speaker 1: Okay, come on? What's your name?
Speaker 4: NICKI?
Speaker 3: Nick?
Speaker 6: Cute outfit, Nicky?
Speaker 8: Thank you? You know you say sunshine and you dress
Speaker 8: the parts.
Speaker 2: Yes, we love the butter yellow.
Speaker 8: So my question is you all are very successful and
Speaker 8: beautiful people. Thank you for doing this podcast and being
Speaker 8: role models for everyone. So do you have an end
Speaker 8: goal in mind that is like what you're reaching for?
Speaker 8: Do you find that it evolves as you you know,
Speaker 8: expand your reach and get exposed to different opportunities.
Speaker 6: I was talking to someone about this the other day, Tim,
Speaker 6: He's right here, for I think, I mean, speaking for myself.
Speaker 6: We live in this digital world. Like I started What's
Speaker 6: gotby Cooking as this, it was a blog and it's
Speaker 6: evolved into this other thing, and the whole world as
Speaker 6: far as that it goes, is evolving. Like so, I
Speaker 6: have no idea. I don't know what the end goal
Speaker 6: is like because I think in five years there will
Speaker 6: be new platforms and new opportunities and different avenues you
Speaker 6: could go down and find yourself building a business. So
Speaker 6: I don't think it for me, there's no end in sight,
Speaker 6: like well, I'll know I'm done when I know I'm done.
Speaker 2: I love that answer so much because I always have
Speaker 2: felt so stumped whenever people ask me, what's your five
Speaker 2: year plan? What's your ten year plan? I stopped coming
Speaker 2: up with one because I realized I wasn't dreaming big
Speaker 2: enough dreams. And why why set a ceiling that's unnecessary?
Speaker 2: You know, And I've I've I mean, and to be honest,
Speaker 2: like this is it for me, Like I am I'm
Speaker 2: living dream right now, having conversations with incredible inspiring women
Speaker 2: like you two us getting to become bright side besties
Speaker 2: together to meet this community like this is really meaningful,
Speaker 2: fulfilling work. So I'm so content and happy.
Speaker 7: I would say that I feel like I don't because
Speaker 7: I've had so many versions of my life. I feel
Speaker 7: like I'm on version twenty five of life, and so
Speaker 7: I feel like I gave up on what I can
Speaker 7: expect in five years because I've learned that you have
Speaker 7: to live for today and do everything you possibly can
Speaker 7: in those moments because you never know what tomorrow will
Speaker 7: bring or be, and so I kind of just thrive
Speaker 7: for the moment and then let myself live and grow
Speaker 7: and evolve as life is happening.
Speaker 2: That's beautiful and such a great reminder. Thank you man.
Speaker 2: How about you, Danielle.
Speaker 3: I had a pang of imposter syndrome when you said
Speaker 3: that I don't feel successful. I really Ever since Hello
Speaker 3: Sunshine started, all I wanted to do was work for
Speaker 3: Hell of Sunshine. I really feel like my mission about
Speaker 3: trying to change and make the next generation have more
Speaker 3: tools and feel better than I felt is so in
Speaker 3: line with what they're doing. So changing the narrative for women.
Speaker 3: I think regardless of how that shows up, you know,
Speaker 3: I don't know how that will show up in the
Speaker 3: next few years.
Speaker 2: I think the through line between what you just said,
Speaker 2: what Amanda said, what Gobby said is redefining success in
Speaker 2: a way that works for you and makes sense for you,
Speaker 2: and we have to give ourselves permission to do that. Well.
Speaker 1: This actually brings me to a question.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like you've had imposter syndrome more or
Speaker 3: less as you've gotten more successful?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 7: Yeah, But when Tim interviewed me, Hi Tim shot shout.
Speaker 2: Out to Tim shout out show runner Tom I.
Speaker 7: He was like, you never experienced it on Broadway? And
Speaker 7: I said no, because when I was starting out on Broadway,
Speaker 7: I was a nobody. I was at open calls for
Speaker 7: three hours waiting to be seen. There was no like
Speaker 7: I'm I'm walking into this audition, everybody look at me.
Speaker 7: It was like I was a nobody and you like
Speaker 7: worked your way up. That's how you kind of really
Speaker 7: kind of go through Broadway.
Speaker 5: You work your way up.
Speaker 7: So I didn't really experience it until I was like
Speaker 7: here in Hollywood and as an older person. But I
Speaker 7: also think it's like a new hot term. Like it's
Speaker 7: a like mental health wasn't talked about ten years ago
Speaker 7: and now it's like the hot topic. So it's like,
Speaker 7: I feel like imposter syndrome wasn't something that was being
Speaker 7: said to me when I was eighteen years old.
Speaker 1: Agreed it personally.
Speaker 3: It gave me words for what I was feeling, So
Speaker 3: I like appreciate the term, but I do agree with you.
Speaker 1: It's really buzzy. Have you felt it more or less?
Speaker 6: Definitely more as I've gotten older and further in my career.
Speaker 6: Like I say, I just was nobody and I was,
Speaker 6: you know, hustling as hard as I could to get
Speaker 6: to where I thought the next step was. And I
Speaker 6: think it wasn't until I got further up that journey
Speaker 6: that I started thinking about it.
Speaker 2: Something that always gives me peace is a statistic that
Speaker 2: I read in Julia Borston's books. She wrote a book
Speaker 2: called When Women Lead, and it turns out that as women,
Speaker 2: our confidence increases as we get older, and for men
Speaker 2: there's declines and it kind of plateaus at around forty
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you've gotten more confident as you
Speaker 2: get older?
Speaker 3: Hell, yeah, I'm almost thirty four. Each year I feel
Speaker 3: like so much better and.
Speaker 1: Calmer in who I am?
Speaker 2: Do you Yeah, one hundred percent. I think it comes
Speaker 2: back to that competence thing too. It's like more reps
Speaker 2: been doing this for about fifteen years now, being a journalist,
Speaker 2: and so you just start to feel more confident.
Speaker 6: And don't you feel like you stop caring what people
Speaker 6: think of you the older you get? I give zero part.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I also think as you get older, you really refine
Speaker 6: who you're hanging out with and who your friends are,
Speaker 6: and hopefully you're surrounding yourself with people who build you up,
Speaker 6: so it's easier to lean on them and not feel
Speaker 6: bad about that for sure.
Speaker 1: Anyone else, do we have time for more?
Speaker 9: Do you feel like imposter syndrome or self doubt is
Speaker 9: something that you've always had or was it.
Speaker 2: Taught by society?
Speaker 3: First of all, she is sixteen years old, everybody, great question, Reagan.
Speaker 1: With a very cute hairdo that's a great question.
Speaker 6: I think it's perpetuated by society for sure. I think
Speaker 6: when you look at our kids, like I'm talking five
Speaker 6: and under, they do they are living their best lives.
Speaker 6: They have zero cares in the world, And I think
Speaker 6: as we get older, and we're society impresses certain things
Speaker 6: upon us. That's when you start second guessing yourself. My
Speaker 6: daughter wants to be the moon quite literally not possible,
Speaker 6: but in her mind it sure is.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, really creative.
Speaker 6: Though you perish we're in trouble.
Speaker 7: That's interesting though. I think you're right, Goby. I think
Speaker 7: that that it does. It does encourage it. I think
Speaker 7: our society encourages it. I think social media encourages it.
Speaker 7: I think it is something that maybe is taught, which
Speaker 7: is sad. That's sad.
Speaker 2: But when does it start? Where does it start?
Speaker 1: I can tell you when mine started.
Speaker 3: It happened for me when I was trying to fit
Speaker 3: into workplaces that I didn't feel were really a fit.
Speaker 3: So it's like that phrase that I always get wrong
Speaker 3: about fitting a square peg into a round hole.
Speaker 1: Did I say that right?
Speaker 2: You did at the time? Okay, good, Yeah, you got it.
Speaker 2: I've said it so many times.
Speaker 3: I've said it wrong so many times on the podcast,
Speaker 3: and so you know, you're getting feedback that's not necessarily
Speaker 3: in line with who you are, doesn't fit. And then
Speaker 3: I felt like I had to shape shift, and I
Speaker 3: had a lot of male bosses and I think I
Speaker 3: felt misunderstood by some of them, not all of them,
Speaker 3: and that's when it started for me.
Speaker 1: It was that feedback loop.
Speaker 3: And I mean, I haven't had that once here, So
Speaker 3: I think there's a huge difference when you have women
Speaker 3: at the helm of things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I see a hand.
Speaker 4: You made a comment when does it start? So I'm
Speaker 4: a child in an adolest and psychiatrist, and first I'd
Speaker 4: like to say, first of all, yes, zero to five,
Speaker 4: they have no fears.
Speaker 6: It starts at six.
Speaker 4: Years old when they are in school and the first
Speaker 4: aspect of fear comes into their minds of being feeling
Speaker 4: like belonging or taking a place, of where do they
Speaker 4: fit in? Who is their friend? And then we become
Speaker 4: people pleasers. So what you were all saying is fantastic.
Speaker 4: I just wish, like this young sixteen year old said,
Speaker 4: it starts early for our kids, or for all of
Speaker 4: the youth, and the opportunity is to start them early
Speaker 4: in this conversation, not when they get in the workforce
Speaker 4: or they're in high school, because social platforms will always
Speaker 4: be there and as you said, it is going to
Speaker 4: change in five years, but to start them with that
Speaker 4: conversation of we don't have fear in our minds and
Speaker 4: our hearts and our souls. Is what needs to be
Speaker 4: started now, and that is when it starts.
Speaker 1: Is what come from affirmations or what are you saying?
Speaker 4: It comes from everything. It comes from the first thing
Speaker 4: is that we need to listen to our kids. We
Speaker 4: have forgotten to listen to our youth and their conversations
Speaker 4: and what their needs are and to create those resources
Speaker 4: and guidance. Some need affirmations, some need a conversation. They
Speaker 4: need to be trusted, and they need to be listened to.
Speaker 4: So to do that, we've got to talk to them
Speaker 4: and we've got to communicate with them.
Speaker 5: You have a podcast, No, you know what?
Speaker 7: Do you like this? I forget who said this to me? Oh,
Speaker 7: a therapist, but never mind, was an out of the
Speaker 7: box kind of a therapist.
Speaker 5: If you get my drift.
Speaker 7: He said, listen to what your children are saying, and
Speaker 7: listen to what they're not saying. My mind was blown.
Speaker 7: I was like, that's so beautiful. Oh, there's a hand.
Speaker 10: So I love the expert, like the karma to bring
Speaker 10: the expert into the room here, so amazing, incredible, And
Speaker 10: I fully agree and I work with girls, and we
Speaker 10: see the confidence drop between certain ages between thirteen and eighteen.
Speaker 10: So I guess my question for you guys and king
Speaker 10: off the loreal what would you guys say to the
Speaker 10: young girls in particular who might be listening with their
Speaker 10: moms or their very cool aunts about being worth it?
Speaker 6: What would you say to them about their worth at
Speaker 6: a young age?
Speaker 7: Thank you for that question, Alana, I would instill, like
Speaker 7: what I've learned about myself, be you. No one is
Speaker 7: you walk into every room as you, don't try to
Speaker 7: be anybody else because you're going to bring something to
Speaker 7: the table that no one else can bring because they're
Speaker 7: not you. That that's kind of like what I've learned
Speaker 7: in my life.
Speaker 2: Gobby, how about you.
Speaker 6: I think about my mom when you say that, because
Speaker 6: I mean my mom just never spoke down to herself
Speaker 6: or to us, and she was really careful about how
Speaker 6: she talked about her body and what she was feeding
Speaker 6: in all these things when we were younger. And I
Speaker 6: do think it's our job as adults to really show
Speaker 6: our youth how to be confident and how to not like.
Speaker 6: I know one of my friends is like, oh God,
Speaker 6: I'm so fat and I'm like, don't say that in
Speaker 6: front of your five year old. She will take that
Speaker 6: to heart. So I think that's our job as parents
Speaker 6: and leaders and adults to really impress stat upon, like
Speaker 6: show those thirteen to eighteen year olds how to properly
Speaker 6: care for themselves and love themselves and not put those
Speaker 6: words in their minds.
Speaker 5: Bobby, I love that. I love my mom's very well.
Speaker 1: Can she be unpaid there?
Speaker 6: I had a podcast during COVID for like a year
Speaker 6: before I had a baby, and she was my favorite
Speaker 6: guest on it. She was she's very insightful, beautiful.
Speaker 2: Uh oh, I have to answer now, huh.
Speaker 1: I think you know what.
Speaker 2: I I would tell them learn how to control your
Speaker 2: thoughts because that's something that I learned way too late
Speaker 2: in life. I let these thoughts just like run wild
Speaker 2: in my mind and didn't realize that I had the
Speaker 2: power to control them.
Speaker 1: That's a great one.
Speaker 2: So once you can do that, you can learn how
Speaker 2: to tame your inner critic. And doesn't mean it's gonna
Speaker 2: go away completely, but you can learn how to manage
Speaker 2: it better.
Speaker 1: How about you.
Speaker 3: I've interviewed three people this year with a book about worth.
Speaker 3: It's in the title or it's part of it. And
Speaker 3: what I've learned from them is that it's everybody's life
Speaker 3: journey to find it, to build it, to remember it.
Speaker 3: And so I actually have no advice. I think it's
Speaker 3: part of the process of learning, and that's like part
Speaker 3: of life. I personally feel like not everyone feels this way.
Speaker 3: I feel like I've worked for mine, I've earned it.
Speaker 3: I've had a lot of bumps and bruises and scars,
Speaker 3: and those are what make me feel like I'm worth something. Now.
Speaker 3: I know some people just feel like they are, but
Speaker 3: I didn't grow up in that house.
Speaker 7: No, it's like that Chinese proverb, like with the bold
Speaker 7: that's filled with the gold. You know, I'm talking about,
Speaker 7: like it's all broken, but it's filled with gold and right, yes.
Speaker 1: The broken pieces that make it beautiful.
Speaker 5: You guys, not I'm talking about again.
Speaker 2: Well, we could do this all day, we could talk
Speaker 2: to you guys all day, but I think this brings
Speaker 2: us to the end of our conversation. You know.
Speaker 3: I think that imposter syndrome can take away from beautiful
Speaker 3: moments and make you feel like you don't remember your worth.
Speaker 3: And so I think if there's a takeaway from today
Speaker 3: It's just like Simone said, when you feel fear that
Speaker 3: you forget who you are, it's remember who you are.
Speaker 3: Feel that worth You guys brought so much warmth into
Speaker 3: the room. I could feel your souls so thank you
Speaker 3: so much. We're so grateful for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, come to our studio. Can we all just can
Speaker 2: we bring all of you to our studio all the time?
Speaker 2: That'd be the best. Thank you so much. You're worth it.
Speaker 2: Your audience to shine away. Thank you got me talkin.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Amanda Klint, thank you amazing.
Speaker 5: You're worth it.
Speaker 2: Keep looking on the bright side, y'all.