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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's teaching men how to self

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Speaker 1: care with new motor oil infused bath bombs. Relax and

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Speaker 1: unwind with the industrial aroma that'll give your skin that

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Speaker 1: healthy glowing sheen like you were just recovered next to

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Speaker 1: the Exxon Valdez. Wow, duckling oil spill joke from twenty

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Speaker 1: years ago, still funny. Laser Stories the segment where we

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Speaker 1: read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone

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Speaker 1: else does, except we've got a laser. Those other greasy

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Speaker 1: weasels just don't. His first Laser Stories out of Ohio,

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Speaker 1: a thirty seven year old man named Matthew Pancake was

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Speaker 1: up to no good. The good. What a great name.

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Speaker 1: You need to marry him so you could be missus Pancake.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, we're on the back of sweatshirts. Pancake. Well,

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Speaker 1: around two am, mister Pancake broke into a famous footwear store,

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Speaker 1: and after that he's snuck into a restaurant called Roosters,

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Speaker 1: where he was seen on camera wearing leopard print pajamas.

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Speaker 1: Live your Best Life, peycakes, and then he kept the

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Speaker 1: animal theme party going by breaking into a pet store

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Speaker 1: called Petland where he set a bunch of animals free

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Speaker 1: to live amongst the world. Like that's like a child.

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Speaker 1: He's like a modern day snow White. I don't see

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Speaker 1: any issues, if you know. Police finally tracked down Pancake

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Speaker 1: in a big Locks parking lot. When they asked him

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Speaker 1: about the break ins. Not surprisingly, he denied it ain't

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Speaker 1: nobody got tamp don't know what you're talking about. A

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Speaker 1: different pancake. But unfortunately for him, authorities didn't believe him,

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Speaker 1: probably because when he was searched they found four hamsters

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Speaker 1: in his paints. They really found them in there. Mister

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Speaker 1: Pancake was then charged with breaking and entering and vandalism.

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Speaker 1: As for the animals, the police recovered two dogs, multiple birds,

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Speaker 1: yet another hamster, and at least two bunnies. Authorities say

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Speaker 1: they're still looking for a frisky ferret. If you see

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Speaker 1: one skirting around the city, you're asked to call authorities

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Speaker 1: immediatelyfles you know they're not related, it feels like they

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Speaker 1: should be failing. It's next Lazer stories out of Connecticut.

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Speaker 1: The other day, a man dropped off his rare twenty

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Speaker 1: eighteen Chevy Camaro at a dealership for its yearly service.

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Speaker 1: The car was in pristine condition, only had nine hundred

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Speaker 1: and eighty nine miles on Itay, why do you even

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Speaker 1: need to service it? The owner gave it explicit instructions

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Speaker 1: that the car was not to leave the lot. Unfortunately

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Speaker 1: for him, that didn't happen. A service advisor and another

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Speaker 1: employee thought what's the harm in taking it around a

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Speaker 1: block or two, so they took the car out, floored

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Speaker 1: it to nearly ninety miles per hour, lost control, and

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Speaker 1: crashed it into a guard rail. They're like, uh, do

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Speaker 1: you think he's gonna notice? Yeah, the car had been

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Speaker 1: appraised at ninety seven thousand dollars and it was a

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Speaker 1: complete loss. Not surprisingly, the driver was ticketed in the crash,

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Speaker 1: but the dealership is in much, much bigger trouble because

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Speaker 1: the Camaro owner has now filed a lawsuit against them.

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Speaker 1: No word on the total damages, but it's probably safe

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Speaker 1: to say they exceed one hundred thousand dollars. Wow. Wait,

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Speaker 1: the car's only worth ninety seven thousand though, how's the

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Speaker 1: damages higher? With the lawsuit thrown in? I'm guessing he

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Speaker 1: gets more than just the value of the car. Yeah, yeah, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Distress from missing his like really fancy car. That must

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Speaker 1: be hard for him. Yeah, I feel bad for him. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they literally crashed his car, But why does he need

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Speaker 1: more money than what the cars were? Because he told

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Speaker 1: them crashes and they went on crash why more? Okay, sure,

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Speaker 1: let's go to your ex lazer story, which is out

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Speaker 1: of California. I don't know yet, give it to me again.

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Speaker 1: Man recently went to a bar in the San Diego

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Speaker 1: area called the Catalina Lounge, and when he was closing

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Speaker 1: his twenty four dollars tab, the screen gave him four

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Speaker 1: suggested tipsy twenty percent, twenty five percent, fifty percent, and

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent. That was a suggestion. Those are the

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Speaker 1: suggested options for him. The guy was so appalled that

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Speaker 1: he took a photo of it, and now it's going viral.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So naturally, some commenters say that's just predatory,

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Speaker 1: especially for a bar, because if someone isn't looking closely,

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Speaker 1: or if they're not thinking yeah, I think it's yeah. Sure,

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Speaker 1: there's some bartender that's like, hell, let's see what drunk

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Speaker 1: idiot kicks out there? Literally, and it's because if he's

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Speaker 1: the one hundred percent is the very top option, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which would be the first one, you know. Yeah. So,

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Speaker 1: like I said, if you're not looking closely, if you're

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Speaker 1: not thinking clearly, you could inadvertently tip a lot more

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Speaker 1: than you want to. And as for the bar, no

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Speaker 1: one from management has commented, so it's unclear if they

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Speaker 1: purposely chose those options or if they were just somehow

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Speaker 1: pre programmed or something. They definitely chose the options for

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Speaker 1: what it's worth. The guy posted his actual receipt as well,

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Speaker 1: which shows he ended up tipping twenty percent. Oh cheap.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a problem with obviously doesn't drive the

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Speaker 1: ninety seven thousand dollars car, But he also said that

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Speaker 1: he doesn't know why he even did it at all,

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Speaker 1: and the rest of the night he tipped zero percent.

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Speaker 1: In response, wait, he should just stop where he is

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Speaker 1: this next laser stories out of the Pacific Northwest who

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Speaker 1: touched the thermostat fights are getting more interesting with this trend.

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Speaker 1: Oregon's biggest power company is rolling out an smart thermostat

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Speaker 1: program where they get to change the temperature in your home.

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Speaker 1: Starting sucked. My dad would just die. Was that a customard?

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Speaker 1: We just played? Oh? Oh my god. Basically, I'm like

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Speaker 1: I agree. But the way the program works is you

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Speaker 1: install a smart thermostat and pay a little bit less

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Speaker 1: each month in an exchange. You let them control your

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Speaker 1: thermostat remotely. Wait a minute, this has infiltrated my family.

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Speaker 1: I was recently in Arizona and my dad came to

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Speaker 1: me and said, I'll say, I'm calling to the electric company.

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Speaker 1: They are changing my thermostat. That's basically the rules of it.

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Speaker 1: During peak hours they up the tempt by a few

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Speaker 1: degrees to reduce the strain on the grid, which usually

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Speaker 1: happens between three and nine pm. Why do I imagine

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Speaker 1: you ever, whoever adjusting it also having an evil laugh

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Speaker 1: while doing it. The new Oregon version limits it to

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Speaker 1: three degrees, So if your thrmostat's set to seventy one,

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Speaker 1: they could up that to seventy four. Well, I mean

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Speaker 1: it's gonna backfire. Everybody's just gonna set their thermostat three

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Speaker 1: degrees lower. Yeah, totally something. We're not idiots. You know.

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Speaker 1: Some cities set the max even higher, like a program

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Speaker 1: in LA that lets them increase it by four degrees.

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Speaker 1: But you can override it by changing the temperature manual.

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Speaker 1: So is it worth it just to save a few

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Speaker 1: bucks and help the environment. I'd say yes, maybe. Wait

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Speaker 1: are you saying no? Is there an answer? I'm worried

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Speaker 1: to ask Brooke anything about money today. She's very hot

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Speaker 1: headed about it. Or are you the only one who

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Speaker 1: gets to mess with your thermostat? Yeah, that's the question.

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Speaker 1: I know this guy likes it chili in his terrarium.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think he's wrapped around that ug boot

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Speaker 1: so tightly right now? He's preparing for cold seasons. That

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Speaker 1: sound means laser stories has come to an end of

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Speaker 1: the day. We're gonna do it same time a Monday