WEBVTT - The unMIStakable Jana Kramer (Part 2)

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<v Speaker 1>Misspelling with Tory spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know about you, but I wish I left

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<v Speaker 2>sooner too, because then there would have been less fights,

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<v Speaker 2>less affairs, less all those things. But I for me,

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<v Speaker 2>and people was asked me like, well, how'd you know

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<v Speaker 2>when it was time to leave? I had a million

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<v Speaker 2>people telling me it was time to leave. I told

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<v Speaker 2>you it's time to leave. You know what I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>like it's time and blah blah. You have to go

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<v Speaker 2>through it as much to the point where you get

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<v Speaker 2>to that one point where it's like, Okay, I can't

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<v Speaker 2>actually go another day. And then I had no regrets

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<v Speaker 2>once I left, because I'd also don't like to live

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<v Speaker 2>with regrets. So I knew I tried everything. I'd tried,

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<v Speaker 2>every therapy, I tried every you know thing to stay

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<v Speaker 2>with him, and it still wouldn't work. Worse to stay

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<v Speaker 2>than to leave. So that's when I was like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>out and I was able to walk away. Of course,

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<v Speaker 2>I would have loved for it to been sooner, but

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<v Speaker 2>I need that long process to really realize that I

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<v Speaker 2>tried everything I possibly could, which was trying to keep

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<v Speaker 2>my family together. I didn't want to be divorced at all.

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<v Speaker 2>So again, yes, of course we would have thought and

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<v Speaker 2>would have loved it to be sooner, but we also

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<v Speaker 2>know that we tried everything we could do and we

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<v Speaker 2>exhausted all options. Yeah, truly, and then you realized it

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't changing and you got out. That also shows your

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<v Speaker 2>children's strength, and I think that's a beautiful thing for

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<v Speaker 2>children to see. And then you're going to never allow

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<v Speaker 2>something like that. And that's what I'm saying, Like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>and Alan and I haven't had those you know, we'll

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<v Speaker 2>have disagreements and stuff, but I'll be like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>he knows that we don't discuss like that, Like we

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<v Speaker 2>would have arguments, you know, little things like that, but nothing,

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<v Speaker 2>I mean it would. I don't think anything would ever

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<v Speaker 2>get that volatile because he's not disrespectful like my ex was.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know now what you will not allow your

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<v Speaker 2>children to see. And you'll do that for the next

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<v Speaker 2>one when you're ready to, not when your kids are ready,

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<v Speaker 2>but when you're ready to.

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<v Speaker 1>If my picker's on point right, well.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I'm like, girl, I'll go to on site

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<v Speaker 2>first because it'll help you, like be able to realize,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you're you're worth and all that. If that's

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<v Speaker 2>what you're that's what I suffered from.

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<v Speaker 1>Definitely, I feel completely unlovable. It's just it's so hard.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you're younger than me, but not by much. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I never it's just you never think. You never think

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to be starting over. Nope, no one does

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<v Speaker 1>when they get married.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, but friend, it's so okay, I need you to

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<v Speaker 2>just energy shift this because we're going into to a

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<v Speaker 2>new year. It is some I get so excited for

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<v Speaker 2>people that when they DM me and they're like, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>so sad, I'm depressed. I just got divorced, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I get it, I've been there. But like we got

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<v Speaker 2>to flip this. How freaking cool that you you get

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<v Speaker 2>to rewrite a whole new story that is like the

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<v Speaker 2>most empowering, the most uplifting, the most hopeful, Like you

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<v Speaker 2>get to make the right choices, like and what you

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<v Speaker 2>thought was the right choice the last time and end

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<v Speaker 2>up not okay, all right, but you.

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<v Speaker 3>Get to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>You get a do over, Like how cool is that?

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<v Speaker 2>Not many people get to have a do over? Like

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<v Speaker 2>this is so exciting and you, not your kids, not

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<v Speaker 2>your like you have already have your kids, so you're

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<v Speaker 2>not like having to you know, just find a guy

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<v Speaker 2>to have babies or whatever, like I did, like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I was running out of time, you know with with

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<v Speaker 2>my ex husband where it was like, oh god, I'm

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<v Speaker 2>in my thirties and I need a baby and okay,

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<v Speaker 2>like yeah you cheated, but like you're you're hot and

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<v Speaker 2>like whatever, you know, like yeah it is, you said

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<v Speaker 2>you're sorry. But like with this, it's like you truly

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<v Speaker 2>get to like you get to recreate the life you

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<v Speaker 2>want for you and not settle for anything or anyone.

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<v Speaker 2>Like this is exciting, Tori. I'm so excited for you,

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<v Speaker 2>Like you should be so frickin' pumped that you get

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<v Speaker 2>to write your next chapter. Sorry that was my book.

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<v Speaker 2>You Like, you get to write your next like your

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<v Speaker 2>next story.

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<v Speaker 1>I am excited.

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<v Speaker 2>It can be scary, it can be all those things,

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<v Speaker 2>but I need you to put the hand on there.

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<v Speaker 2>It's scary and it's gonna be awesome. I'm lonely and

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<v Speaker 2>I get to choose the right person. I'm like like

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<v Speaker 2>add the end, Like that's the most powerful tool tool

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<v Speaker 2>I ever learned, is that you can feel both things.

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<v Speaker 2>But I need you to add in the frickin Like

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<v Speaker 2>this is exciting. This is so you get to you

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<v Speaker 2>get to have first kisses all over again.

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<v Speaker 3>Like that's exciting. It's like so fun. Tears, this is

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<v Speaker 3>so exciting.

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<v Speaker 1>I just put so much, so much energy. I'm tired.

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<v Speaker 1>I put so much energy into writing that first chapter,

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<v Speaker 1>that first story, and so much energy and keeping it intact.

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<v Speaker 1>It was.

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<v Speaker 3>It's exhausting, it's too much. So go have find your joy.

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<v Speaker 3>I find to join it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't get weighed down.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes you do.

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<v Speaker 1>That first date.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh they're so fun, tory, they're so fun.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my gosh, Like I replay like meeting Alan for

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<v Speaker 2>the Like I had a bunch of bad first dates

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<v Speaker 2>when I was dating. But then then you just then

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<v Speaker 2>you see the magical one, you know, and then you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>that's the spark. And then it's like, Okay, maybe the

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<v Speaker 2>spark died, but it ignited something in you again. Like

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<v Speaker 2>you get to feel that. That's exciting, and yeah, you

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<v Speaker 2>feel drained, but you go you have to release it.

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<v Speaker 1>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>One of the best things I'm gonna I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>give you an I'm going to give you an assignment.

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<v Speaker 2>It was the best thing I did on site. But

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<v Speaker 2>I took rocks, okay, And I want you to take

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<v Speaker 2>like rocks, like about this big, and you write on

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<v Speaker 2>the rock every belief that you think of yourself, so

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<v Speaker 2>like mine was, I deserve abuse, I'm unlovable, I'm not enough,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm I'm the problem everything I've ever heard

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<v Speaker 2>and believed. That's a negative thing. But the truly like

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<v Speaker 2>I thought was my thing. And then I want you

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<v Speaker 2>to put the rocks in a backpack. And then I

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<v Speaker 2>want you to walk like five miles and I want

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<v Speaker 2>you to feel how heavy okay, four three or two?

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<v Speaker 2>Like at least three miles with a heavy ass backpack

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<v Speaker 2>with all the negative beliefs about yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Can we do one and a half of call it

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<v Speaker 3>a day, one and a half and we'll call it

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<v Speaker 3>a day.

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<v Speaker 1>Great.

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<v Speaker 2>I want you to walk with every heavy message and

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<v Speaker 2>think about all the things that like people have told you,

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<v Speaker 2>that that person told you when they were raging drunk

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<v Speaker 2>and it wasn't true, or when you know whatever, or

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<v Speaker 2>if anyone was abusive to you or you know whatever. Area,

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<v Speaker 2>walk with it, feel it, feel how heavy the backpack is,

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<v Speaker 2>how your body's starting to hurt. And then I want

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<v Speaker 2>you to find in that walk. We're going to find

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<v Speaker 2>it a mile and a half walk, and then you're

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<v Speaker 2>going to get to a stream or some kind of

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<v Speaker 2>lake or something, and then you're going to take every

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<v Speaker 2>single one of those rocks out. You're going to say

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<v Speaker 2>the opposite. You're going to chuck that motherfucking rock into

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<v Speaker 2>the stream, and then you're gonna you're gonna release all

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<v Speaker 2>those negative energies and then you're gonna walk back.

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<v Speaker 3>You're gonna feel how light it is.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna take in all the new the new words

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<v Speaker 2>that you are enough, that you do deserve love, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you do deserve a happy ending, all the things, and

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<v Speaker 2>you're gonna walk back and feel so light and it's

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<v Speaker 2>going to be such a good exercise for you.

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<v Speaker 3>And it was one that really helps me. Can you

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<v Speaker 3>do it?

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<v Speaker 1>I can do that. I'm really worried though, because there's

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<v Speaker 1>some coyotes, deep worse paparazzi, Like what if someone goes

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<v Speaker 1>and digs that up.

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<v Speaker 3>Ain't nobody digging up rocks in a like.

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<v Speaker 1>You have no idea what it'll be written on these rocks.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't have to tell anybody you can't even your kids.

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<v Speaker 2>You're just saying, Mom's going for a walk with the

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<v Speaker 2>backpack and some rocks.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, so it'll be really healing for you. And if not,

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<v Speaker 3>piety on.

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<v Speaker 1>Some streets, cut up some turn and find a little area.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it would be good.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I can do that. Hold me accountable with all

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<v Speaker 1>your fifty million things you have going on in your life.

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<v Speaker 3>But I just it's a good New Year's thing to do.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's a good one. You always hear people are like,

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<v Speaker 1>you have to cut the cord, envision it, and I

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<v Speaker 1>have to physically do the act, okay, And maybe that's

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<v Speaker 1>what's missing because I tried to do the manifestation and

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<v Speaker 1>envision all the chords that are still attached to me

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<v Speaker 1>from my whole life, that are cutting them and letting

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<v Speaker 1>them go and freeing them, not a it's not working.

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<v Speaker 1>So physically I need to do something physical. Yep, fuck

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<v Speaker 1>those rocks, chuck them. I know one main rock I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna chuck Yeah, got it.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean my I deserve abuse rock. I held on

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<v Speaker 2>to for like five minutes, and I like, the therapist

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<v Speaker 2>was like, you can let it go when you're ready,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like but I just so whullheartedly believe

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<v Speaker 2>in my heart that's what I deserve. And she's like,

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<v Speaker 2>then we're going to sit here until you don't. It

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<v Speaker 2>was like Jenny throwing rocks at the house and Forrest Gump,

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<v Speaker 2>where I just like screamed, like throwing it. But it's

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<v Speaker 2>like it's so cathartic. I know it sounds so weird,

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<v Speaker 2>but no, it'll be great.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm weird. Nothing sounds weird. Here's the thing. I'm really

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<v Speaker 1>up for trying anything. I really do want this second chapter.

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<v Speaker 1>Second chapter is a weird terminology, right.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I wrote a book called The Next Chapter, so

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<v Speaker 2>you can just you know, and I talk all about that.

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<v Speaker 2>And there were some things in there too from on

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<v Speaker 2>site that I talk about. So I know, I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>going to say, like, read my book because I know

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<v Speaker 2>you like who did that's weird? But like for anyone

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<v Speaker 2>that's listening, I wrote a book called The Next Chapter.

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<v Speaker 2>It's all about the year post divorce and the highs

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<v Speaker 2>and the lows and everything in between.

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<v Speaker 1>Can I listen to it on audio?

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<v Speaker 3>Sure?

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<v Speaker 1>Can? I got to say your song the story is

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<v Speaker 1>my anthem. M. It's interesting. When I went on dancing

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<v Speaker 1>with the stars. They want it. What are your anthems?

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<v Speaker 1>And they really want it? You know. They were like

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<v Speaker 1>j Loo, Katy Berry and I was like, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>one of my anthems, my friend Jana Kramer's the story

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<v Speaker 1>because that is the song and I listened to it

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<v Speaker 1>all the time and I just connect to it so much.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that song was That was the first song I

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<v Speaker 2>wrote post divorce, and I'm like, I got I just

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<v Speaker 2>I needed. My babies are my everything. So you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I just want to write a song

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<v Speaker 2>like how do I describe? How do I how do

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<v Speaker 2>I even have this conversation with them? And so my

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<v Speaker 2>dear friend Sarah Bryce, who's Lee Bryce's amazing wife and

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<v Speaker 2>she's a great songwriter and I just trust her with everything,

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<v Speaker 2>and so she, you know, we sat down and we

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<v Speaker 2>wrote this and is Yeah, I'm glad you resonate with

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<v Speaker 2>that one because it's it's so hard. But there will

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<v Speaker 2>be a time where your story changes.

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<v Speaker 1>Will you do a follow up to that song?

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<v Speaker 3>I did.

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<v Speaker 2>I wrote a song called silver Lining, which I haven't

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<v Speaker 2>put out yet, but it's it's about that. Yeah, It's

0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:22.240
<v Speaker 2>just it's about kind of that. It welcomes in Roman,

0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 2>and it's like the silver lining of why that bad

0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:25.640
<v Speaker 2>things happen.

0:11:26.440 --> 0:11:29.840
<v Speaker 1>And our stories just keep going on and on. I

0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:32.920
<v Speaker 1>remember in one of my books, I wrote, rewrite your story,

0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, write your happy ending. I wrote this to

0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:38.040
<v Speaker 1>other people while I wasn't living the truth, but I

0:11:38.080 --> 0:11:41.240
<v Speaker 1>believed it wholeheartedly. I wanted others to do it. I

0:11:41.320 --> 0:11:45.680
<v Speaker 1>just couldn't do it myself. But sometimes the words you

0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:48.640
<v Speaker 1>say to others, sometimes you're the one that needs to

0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:53.600
<v Speaker 1>hear it the most. And that's a hard, hard thing. Wait,

0:11:53.679 --> 0:11:57.000
<v Speaker 1>so you met Alan because he slid into your dms.

0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:01.640
<v Speaker 1>How did you even get like? You must get a

0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:02.880
<v Speaker 1>million dance? How do you?

0:12:03.840 --> 0:12:06.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I look for my dam in case that

0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.360
<v Speaker 2>could happen with me. That was kind of how I

0:12:09.400 --> 0:12:12.720
<v Speaker 2>met a few people. Was I either saw them on

0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.520
<v Speaker 2>Riya and then we would both be like, oh, hey,

0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.280
<v Speaker 2>saw you on Riya but I didn't see Alan wasn't

0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 2>on Riya, but he did. Yeah, he just DMed me

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.400
<v Speaker 2>and it was a very respectful message. But I he

0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.560
<v Speaker 2>was living in London, and I kind of I responded like, oh, hey,

0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:33.199
<v Speaker 2>you know, thanks for say and hi, But he kept

0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:37.719
<v Speaker 2>dming and then we exchanged numbers, but we were communicating

0:12:37.720 --> 0:12:40.760
<v Speaker 2>over WhatsApp, but I don't really use WhatsApp, and so

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.400
<v Speaker 2>he would text me. But I was so in the

0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.880
<v Speaker 2>mind I didn't really want a relationship at the time.

0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:48.720
<v Speaker 2>I was so happy being single and it was about

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 2>to be the holidays and I was just like I'm good,

0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 2>Like I just kind of got to a place where

0:12:52.160 --> 0:12:55.160
<v Speaker 2>I was just happy alone and just with my kiddos,

0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:57.400
<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I just don't even want to entertain

0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:02.080
<v Speaker 2>some dude from London. Then I was talking to a

0:13:02.080 --> 0:13:04.400
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend and it was probably like a month or so later,

0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:06.480
<v Speaker 2>and she was like, are you talking to anyone?

0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:06.920
<v Speaker 3>I was like no.

0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:09.680
<v Speaker 2>It was like there was this soccer coach dude that

0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.839
<v Speaker 2>was like dming me. Then what's happening? But honestly, I

0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:15.319
<v Speaker 2>didn't I never even like looked him up or I

0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:17.199
<v Speaker 2>don't even know like what his things about, because I'm like,

0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:19.920
<v Speaker 2>he lives in London, so what's the point. And I

0:13:20.000 --> 0:13:22.440
<v Speaker 2>googled him. She's like, well google him, let me let

0:13:22.480 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 2>me see, and then I was like, oh, he's really cute.

0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.080
<v Speaker 2>I was like damn. I was like, well, like maybe

0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:30.440
<v Speaker 2>I could just have like a winner fling, like that's fine.

0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.439
<v Speaker 2>You know, I never been to London, you know, for

0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 2>more than twenty four hours, so maybe like that could

0:13:35.679 --> 0:13:38.240
<v Speaker 2>be fun. So then I what's apped him back and

0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.960
<v Speaker 2>I was like, hey, sorry, you know, I'm just I'm

0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 2>never on this like this, this messaging thing, and then

0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.679
<v Speaker 2>we just started talking and then he flew to Asheville

0:13:47.040 --> 0:13:48.800
<v Speaker 2>to see me, and the rest was history.

0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:51.800
<v Speaker 1>How long between the gap of when he had what's

0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.480
<v Speaker 1>appt you last and then you responded when you said

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:55.240
<v Speaker 1>hey sorry?

0:13:57.160 --> 0:13:59.720
<v Speaker 2>The last time I spoke with him was like October

0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.120
<v Speaker 2>and then it was November twelfth that I reached back out.

0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:05.000
<v Speaker 3>It was like a month.

0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:10.040
<v Speaker 1>That's impressive because to anybody, male or female, it could

0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:13.520
<v Speaker 1>be like, oh, take it the wrong way, like never mind,

0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:16.760
<v Speaker 1>oh oh okay, this is very helpful.

0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:17.959
<v Speaker 3>You got this.

0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:19.480
<v Speaker 1>It's helpful and it's topefal.

0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm excited for you. I'm just I'm going to just

0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:26.160
<v Speaker 2>keep the positive energy and it's it's exciting.

0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:28.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't want these chunters, though.

0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 2>Right down everything and write down what you want, because

0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:36.840
<v Speaker 2>it's you no, but write down what you want. Like,

0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.560
<v Speaker 2>my girlfriend's divorced right now, and she's she's dating this

0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:42.280
<v Speaker 2>one guy and he's a little older.

0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 3>She's like, I just can't do it. He's too old.

0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:46.800
<v Speaker 2>Like he's just like I'm in my forties, he's almost

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.480
<v Speaker 2>in his sixties. She's like, I just can't do it.

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.080
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, then don't, like, you don't need too

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:53.760
<v Speaker 3>you know. She's a QUI enjoys company.

0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, but like, you don't need to force

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.800
<v Speaker 2>anything if it's not your person. Next, thank you you

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.720
<v Speaker 2>learned something. And then that's what I did with the

0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 2>you know, the post of war dating. I was like,

0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.120
<v Speaker 2>all right, I always learned something about either what I wanted,

0:15:06.120 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 2>what I didn't want, or I learned something about myself.

0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.800
<v Speaker 3>And then next like what is okay for.

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 1>A fifty one year old woman?

0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:16.760
<v Speaker 2>Whatever, whatever you think is okay. A lot of girls

0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 2>are going younger, you know. I mean, I would just

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:22.200
<v Speaker 2>write down what you want as a as a person,

0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:25.160
<v Speaker 2>as a whole, like the qualities that you're wanting, and

0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.360
<v Speaker 2>go after that. I think, you know, and then.

0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.440
<v Speaker 1>See so many friends have been like okay, you know

0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>dated the actor, Like you know, that's not a sustainable life.

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.840
<v Speaker 1>It's inconsistent, you know, on both our parts, meanting like

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.400
<v Speaker 1>it's not stable. Always, but they're like, so no more

0:15:43.080 --> 0:15:46.360
<v Speaker 1>actors like the next person. And I have friends that

0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.000
<v Speaker 1>are like, you're going to find someone who's so financially

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:52.680
<v Speaker 1>set and it's going to turn everything around. And I've

0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:56.840
<v Speaker 1>always provided for myself. It's been nice when I've been

0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 1>with a man that you know contributes, it's great. You

0:15:59.760 --> 0:16:03.200
<v Speaker 1>know it'd be great, but it's never been my thing.

0:16:03.520 --> 0:16:08.600
<v Speaker 1>And I still am like thinking in my head, Okay,

0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 1>you know what would I want to, you know, be

0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 1>so financially set and my kids, I don't have to

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:16.680
<v Speaker 1>struggle all the time and I can spend more time

0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:19.760
<v Speaker 1>with them. Never been able to do that, or do

0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.800
<v Speaker 1>I want? Just like true love and whoever he is,

0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:26.200
<v Speaker 1>he is and I don't know to this day, I choose.

0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.760
<v Speaker 3>That always true love.

0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.120
<v Speaker 2>I promise you'll find you, but you have to clear

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:31.600
<v Speaker 2>out some of the soul stuff first.

0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:38.600
<v Speaker 1>M Yeah, my soul's heavy and it's true and I'm

0:16:38.600 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 1>tired of carrying that around.

0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 2>You shouldn't anymore. It's not it's not serving you, you know,

0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:49.160
<v Speaker 2>that's not I'm excited for you, though, thank you. I

0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:51.480
<v Speaker 2>have an and like a literally and symbol on the

0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.600
<v Speaker 2>literally that's my healing a literal and symbol. It's for

0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.560
<v Speaker 2>always to remember that you can hold space for both.

0:16:56.800 --> 0:16:59.560
<v Speaker 2>I love that matching tattoos.

0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I have to ask you about Massinger. I was on

0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:12.120
<v Speaker 1>season one and Massinger, so I was super sift. You're

0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:16.080
<v Speaker 1>on the season. Did you love every second of it?

0:17:16.119 --> 0:17:18.480
<v Speaker 1>Was that mask really heavy?

0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:21.400
<v Speaker 2>The ponytail made it like my head like fall back

0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:23.840
<v Speaker 2>every time. So I was just like, but they were

0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.080
<v Speaker 2>so I I what was your costume?

0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Unicorn?

0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.040
<v Speaker 2>Unicorn have fun? But I had the best time on

0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:35.520
<v Speaker 2>that show. Everyone's so nice and so fun. Like it

0:17:35.560 --> 0:17:38.720
<v Speaker 2>was just I'm always pretty insecure when I sing, and

0:17:39.440 --> 0:17:41.720
<v Speaker 2>something about having that mask on. I was like, I get,

0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:43.359
<v Speaker 2>like it was so much fun.

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:45.400
<v Speaker 1>Did you choose your costume?

0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:50.919
<v Speaker 2>They kind of gave me an idea because of just

0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:52.639
<v Speaker 2>everything that I've been through there, like you know a

0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.679
<v Speaker 2>night and I'm like, well, Alan calls me his warrior,

0:17:54.800 --> 0:17:58.199
<v Speaker 2>so this is very like fitting. So it was so

0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.720
<v Speaker 2>they once they gave me that option, I was like,

0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:02.520
<v Speaker 2>hands down, one hundred percent got it.

0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:04.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah for sure. When I saw the costume, I was like,

0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.800
<v Speaker 1>she must've come up with this, Like I just thought

0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:10.520
<v Speaker 1>for sure when I did it first season, they hadn't

0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.720
<v Speaker 1>completely worked out the heaviness of the mask. I was

0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:15.439
<v Speaker 1>like in a unicorn mask, so it was like the

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.880
<v Speaker 1>horse like and it was I couldn't see a thing.

0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.720
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, it's like looking through coffee filters, is what

0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:22.240
<v Speaker 2>I tell people.

0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, that's exactly it. And because it was first season,

0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.080
<v Speaker 1>they were like, I spent all this time learning all

0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.320
<v Speaker 1>this choreography and then once I got into it, into

0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.359
<v Speaker 1>the mask and the huge dress that I was wearing,

0:18:36.800 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 1>I got on stage, I was like, but all this

0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:43.959
<v Speaker 1>like crazy choreography not an option, No, but yeah, I

0:18:44.000 --> 0:18:46.119
<v Speaker 1>loved seeing you on that. Did your kids know?

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:49.320
<v Speaker 2>My kids knew, yeah, because they loved the show, so

0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:51.199
<v Speaker 2>I told them. But that was it, Like mine, I

0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:53.399
<v Speaker 2>still had family texting me being like, when were you

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:55.760
<v Speaker 2>going to let us know you hadnt like this alter

0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:57.840
<v Speaker 2>ego And I was like, oh, I was like, we

0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.159
<v Speaker 2>were sworn to secrecy, so I'm like, but yeah, it

0:19:01.280 --> 0:19:02.920
<v Speaker 2>was awesome. I had the best time.

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:06.200
<v Speaker 1>It's so and you're a singer, but you just said

0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:09.040
<v Speaker 1>you're insecure about you're singing. But I'm not a singer,

0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:14.280
<v Speaker 1>so for me, it was like crazy hard but freeing

0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:18.040
<v Speaker 1>like that was less scary doing that than Dancing with

0:19:18.080 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 1>the Stars, only because my face was concealed and I.

0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:24.000
<v Speaker 2>Was like one thousand percent. Yeah, Dancing with the Stars

0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 2>is the most I mean that that made me so

0:19:27.640 --> 0:19:30.440
<v Speaker 2>self conscious and just made me feel like I suck

0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:33.280
<v Speaker 2>at everything when I did that show, because it's like

0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.359
<v Speaker 2>you're doing something you don't know how to do, you know,

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:38.280
<v Speaker 2>and then you're trying to be good at it, and

0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:41.040
<v Speaker 2>it's just it's hard. But yeah, the MASD Singer is

0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:42.280
<v Speaker 2>just like you can just go out there and have

0:19:42.400 --> 0:19:44.920
<v Speaker 2>so much fun and nobody knows who you are, and like, yeah,

0:19:44.920 --> 0:19:47.879
<v Speaker 2>the mask element is fantastic. Like I didn't get nervous,

0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:49.640
<v Speaker 2>it was so fun.

0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:52.200
<v Speaker 1>I got nervous. I was just like, I'm so glad

0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.760
<v Speaker 1>no one knows it's Tory spelling, so they can't just

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.680
<v Speaker 1>see my face and be like, okay, we're gonna judge

0:19:56.720 --> 0:20:00.840
<v Speaker 1>you right from jump or a right? Wait? Sorry, when

0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.720
<v Speaker 1>did you get eliminated on Dancing with the Stars?

0:20:02.800 --> 0:20:07.240
<v Speaker 2>Upper I always semifinals, that's right, you should have stayed longer.

0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:09.800
<v Speaker 3>I was bummed for you. I was so bummed.

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:11.439
<v Speaker 2>I was so happy you were on the show, and

0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.160
<v Speaker 2>then I was so bummed that you got voted off

0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:13.600
<v Speaker 2>that early.

0:20:13.640 --> 0:20:14.960
<v Speaker 3>I was like, no, that's wrong.

0:20:16.000 --> 0:20:18.560
<v Speaker 2>I was robbed right, Yeah, I feel like it's a

0:20:18.560 --> 0:20:21.240
<v Speaker 2>little rigged where they need that.

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:22.280
<v Speaker 3>Like oh moment.

0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:23.680
<v Speaker 1>It definitely was great.

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:29.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, it wasn't your time that was, but.

0:20:29.880 --> 0:20:34.080
<v Speaker 1>It was my time, right sure, because that was part

0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:37.760
<v Speaker 1>of the journey. It's another one of my things though

0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:40.960
<v Speaker 1>in life, where I'm like, Okay, I try so hard

0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:43.439
<v Speaker 1>to turn things around. Jenny Garth used to call me

0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:46.760
<v Speaker 1>Pollyanna because she'd be like, Okay. Anytime she'd be like,

0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:49.040
<v Speaker 1>oh no, one bummed about something, I'd be like, but

0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:51.399
<v Speaker 1>there's this this, And it's always like Dodd do you?

0:20:51.480 --> 0:20:55.000
<v Speaker 1>And I always have that like like everything's it's gonna

0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:58.199
<v Speaker 1>work out and that fire is dimmed a little bit,

0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:00.800
<v Speaker 1>but it's coming back. So it was just another one

0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:03.800
<v Speaker 1>of those things that I'm like, Okay, everyone's like, this

0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:06.520
<v Speaker 1>is it. This is gonna be just a whole new

0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:08.560
<v Speaker 1>element for you, and everyone's gonna see you in a

0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.120
<v Speaker 1>different light, and this is gonna propel so many other

0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:15.520
<v Speaker 1>things that are gonna manifest and come your way and

0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:18.480
<v Speaker 1>then to go through. And I threw myself into it

0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:22.239
<v Speaker 1>completely because when we're the types that when we go

0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.000
<v Speaker 1>we go full on or we don't at all, you know.

0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.480
<v Speaker 1>So I commit it one thousand percent and I worked

0:21:28.520 --> 0:21:31.720
<v Speaker 1>really hard and it did change my life. I found

0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:37.480
<v Speaker 1>such joy and emotional freedom in that experience that I'm grateful.

0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:39.840
<v Speaker 1>But it was a little bit of like the two

0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:42.840
<v Speaker 1>two train, like, oh, just climbed up that hill. Here

0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:45.320
<v Speaker 1>I am, and then eliminate it first, you know, first

0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:48.960
<v Speaker 1>go around. It's like, okay, so I'm like, where are

0:21:49.000 --> 0:21:52.800
<v Speaker 1>the what's this message here? Like these signs? Like every

0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:55.480
<v Speaker 1>time I think I make it, it's like and nope,

0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:58.159
<v Speaker 1>start over again. And it's like, I'm fifty one. I

0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.480
<v Speaker 1>don't want to keep starting over again. I want to

0:22:00.520 --> 0:22:04.640
<v Speaker 1>do things that are working and keep working, not going

0:22:04.680 --> 0:22:05.120
<v Speaker 1>back down.

0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:08.159
<v Speaker 2>Well, this is the start of it. I mean, I

0:22:08.200 --> 0:22:10.040
<v Speaker 2>think again, like the start of the new year. You're

0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:11.840
<v Speaker 2>going into the new year. And this is what's so

0:22:11.920 --> 0:22:14.640
<v Speaker 2>great is you're leaving the divorce in twenty twenty four

0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:16.520
<v Speaker 2>and you're starting the new year in twenty twenty five

0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:18.359
<v Speaker 2>with the mindset of you.

0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:20.760
<v Speaker 3>You're going up, you know, and you're staying up.

0:22:21.160 --> 0:22:25.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you believe your own personal mindset can physically keep

0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:29.240
<v Speaker 1>you held behind work wise, Let's say.

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:33.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I do, but you know, I think again, it's

0:22:33.760 --> 0:22:36.040
<v Speaker 2>like I believe in all the positive manifestations, but I

0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:38.000
<v Speaker 2>also think you have to couple that with you know

0:22:38.080 --> 0:22:41.120
<v Speaker 2>work and or with you know therapy, and then yeah,

0:22:41.160 --> 0:22:43.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I try to be as positive as I can,

0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:46.280
<v Speaker 2>but it's hard when I when I get slumpy, like

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, I'm never going to book another TV

0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:50.080
<v Speaker 2>show again because I'm real down on myself about that

0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:53.200
<v Speaker 2>right now. So I get so close, I'm like, I'll test,

0:22:53.280 --> 0:22:56.360
<v Speaker 2>I'll be like one of three girls for big shows,

0:22:56.400 --> 0:22:58.240
<v Speaker 2>and then I don't get it, and it's like I'm

0:22:58.240 --> 0:22:59.919
<v Speaker 2>just never gonna I'm never gonna get it. Well, if

0:23:00.040 --> 0:23:01.800
<v Speaker 2>I continue saying I'm never going to get it, I'm

0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:03.320
<v Speaker 2>never going to get it. So I'm trying to like

0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:05.159
<v Speaker 2>shift like no, I'm going to get it. It's just

0:23:05.160 --> 0:23:05.880
<v Speaker 2>not my time yet.

0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for all of this.

0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:09.840
<v Speaker 3>I love you. I'm so I love you.

0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>I really do want to come to Nashville please. I

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:14.800
<v Speaker 1>know we've talked about it for a while. We talked

0:23:14.800 --> 0:23:17.399
<v Speaker 1>about it when we well, you were single and I

0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.439
<v Speaker 1>was should have been single. I should have done it than.

0:23:20.760 --> 0:23:23.440
<v Speaker 3>But you really should have. It would have been fun.

0:23:23.920 --> 0:23:24.920
<v Speaker 3>But we can still have fun.

0:23:25.080 --> 0:23:27.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm going to go kick some rocks.

0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:28.919
<v Speaker 3>Yes, no, throw throw rocks.

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:38.000
<v Speaker 1>Throw some rocks. Okay,