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Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tory spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: I don't know about you, but I wish I left

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Speaker 2: sooner too, because then there would have been less fights,

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Speaker 2: less affairs, less all those things. But I for me,

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Speaker 2: and people was asked me like, well, how'd you know

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Speaker 2: when it was time to leave? I had a million

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Speaker 2: people telling me it was time to leave. I told

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Speaker 2: you it's time to leave. You know what I mean,

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Speaker 2: like it's time and blah blah. You have to go

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Speaker 2: through it as much to the point where you get

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Speaker 2: to that one point where it's like, Okay, I can't

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Speaker 2: actually go another day. And then I had no regrets

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Speaker 2: once I left, because I'd also don't like to live

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Speaker 2: with regrets. So I knew I tried everything. I'd tried,

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Speaker 2: every therapy, I tried every you know thing to stay

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Speaker 2: with him, and it still wouldn't work. Worse to stay

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Speaker 2: than to leave. So that's when I was like, I'm

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Speaker 2: out and I was able to walk away. Of course,

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Speaker 2: I would have loved for it to been sooner, but

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Speaker 2: I need that long process to really realize that I

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Speaker 2: tried everything I possibly could, which was trying to keep

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Speaker 2: my family together. I didn't want to be divorced at all.

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Speaker 2: So again, yes, of course we would have thought and

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Speaker 2: would have loved it to be sooner, but we also

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Speaker 2: know that we tried everything we could do and we

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Speaker 2: exhausted all options. Yeah, truly, and then you realized it

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Speaker 2: wasn't changing and you got out. That also shows your

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Speaker 2: children's strength, and I think that's a beautiful thing for

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Speaker 2: children to see. And then you're going to never allow

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Speaker 2: something like that. And that's what I'm saying, Like, you know,

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Speaker 2: and Alan and I haven't had those you know, we'll

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Speaker 2: have disagreements and stuff, but I'll be like, you know,

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Speaker 2: he knows that we don't discuss like that, Like we

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Speaker 2: would have arguments, you know, little things like that, but nothing,

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Speaker 2: I mean it would. I don't think anything would ever

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Speaker 2: get that volatile because he's not disrespectful like my ex was.

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Speaker 2: But you know now what you will not allow your

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Speaker 2: children to see. And you'll do that for the next

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Speaker 2: one when you're ready to, not when your kids are ready,

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Speaker 2: but when you're ready to.

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Speaker 1: If my picker's on point right, well.

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Speaker 2: That's why I'm like, girl, I'll go to on site

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Speaker 2: first because it'll help you, like be able to realize,

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Speaker 2: you know, you're you're worth and all that. If that's

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Speaker 2: what you're that's what I suffered from.

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Speaker 1: Definitely, I feel completely unlovable. It's just it's so hard.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you're younger than me, but not by much. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I never it's just you never think. You never think

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Speaker 1: you're going to be starting over. Nope, no one does

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Speaker 1: when they get married.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but friend, it's so okay, I need you to

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Speaker 2: just energy shift this because we're going into to a

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Speaker 2: new year. It is some I get so excited for

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Speaker 2: people that when they DM me and they're like, I'm

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Speaker 2: so sad, I'm depressed. I just got divorced, I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I get it, I've been there. But like we got

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Speaker 2: to flip this. How freaking cool that you you get

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Speaker 2: to rewrite a whole new story that is like the

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Speaker 2: most empowering, the most uplifting, the most hopeful, Like you

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Speaker 2: get to make the right choices, like and what you

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Speaker 2: thought was the right choice the last time and end

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Speaker 2: up not okay, all right, but you.

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Speaker 3: Get to do it.

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Speaker 2: You get a do over, Like how cool is that?

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Speaker 2: Not many people get to have a do over? Like

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Speaker 2: this is so exciting and you, not your kids, not

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Speaker 2: your like you have already have your kids, so you're

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Speaker 2: not like having to you know, just find a guy

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Speaker 2: to have babies or whatever, like I did, like you know,

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Speaker 2: I was running out of time, you know with with

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Speaker 2: my ex husband where it was like, oh god, I'm

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Speaker 2: in my thirties and I need a baby and okay,

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Speaker 2: like yeah you cheated, but like you're you're hot and

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Speaker 2: like whatever, you know, like yeah it is, you said

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Speaker 2: you're sorry. But like with this, it's like you truly

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Speaker 2: get to like you get to recreate the life you

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Speaker 2: want for you and not settle for anything or anyone.

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Speaker 2: Like this is exciting, Tori. I'm so excited for you,

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Speaker 2: Like you should be so frickin' pumped that you get

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Speaker 2: to write your next chapter. Sorry that was my book.

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Speaker 2: You Like, you get to write your next like your

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Speaker 2: next story.

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Speaker 1: I am excited.

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Speaker 2: It can be scary, it can be all those things,

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Speaker 2: but I need you to put the hand on there.

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Speaker 2: It's scary and it's gonna be awesome. I'm lonely and

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Speaker 2: I get to choose the right person. I'm like like

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Speaker 2: add the end, Like that's the most powerful tool tool

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Speaker 2: I ever learned, is that you can feel both things.

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Speaker 2: But I need you to add in the frickin Like

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Speaker 2: this is exciting. This is so you get to you

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Speaker 2: get to have first kisses all over again.

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Speaker 3: Like that's exciting. It's like so fun. Tears, this is

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Speaker 3: so exciting.

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Speaker 1: I just put so much, so much energy. I'm tired.

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Speaker 1: I put so much energy into writing that first chapter,

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Speaker 1: that first story, and so much energy and keeping it intact.

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Speaker 1: It was.

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Speaker 3: It's exhausting, it's too much. So go have find your joy.

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Speaker 3: I find to join it.

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Speaker 1: I don't get weighed down.

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Speaker 3: Yes you do.

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Speaker 1: That first date.

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Speaker 3: Oh they're so fun, tory, they're so fun.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Like I replay like meeting Alan for

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Speaker 2: the Like I had a bunch of bad first dates

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Speaker 2: when I was dating. But then then you just then

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Speaker 2: you see the magical one, you know, and then you're like,

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Speaker 2: that's the spark. And then it's like, Okay, maybe the

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Speaker 2: spark died, but it ignited something in you again. Like

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Speaker 2: you get to feel that. That's exciting, and yeah, you

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Speaker 2: feel drained, but you go you have to release it.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: One of the best things I'm gonna I'm going to

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Speaker 2: give you an I'm going to give you an assignment.

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Speaker 2: It was the best thing I did on site. But

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Speaker 2: I took rocks, okay, And I want you to take

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Speaker 2: like rocks, like about this big, and you write on

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Speaker 2: the rock every belief that you think of yourself, so

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Speaker 2: like mine was, I deserve abuse, I'm unlovable, I'm not enough,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm I'm the problem everything I've ever heard

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Speaker 2: and believed. That's a negative thing. But the truly like

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Speaker 2: I thought was my thing. And then I want you

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Speaker 2: to put the rocks in a backpack. And then I

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Speaker 2: want you to walk like five miles and I want

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Speaker 2: you to feel how heavy okay, four three or two?

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Speaker 2: Like at least three miles with a heavy ass backpack

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Speaker 2: with all the negative beliefs about yourself.

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Speaker 3: Can we do one and a half of call it

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Speaker 3: a day, one and a half and we'll call it

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Speaker 3: a day.

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Speaker 1: Great.

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Speaker 2: I want you to walk with every heavy message and

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Speaker 2: think about all the things that like people have told you,

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Speaker 2: that that person told you when they were raging drunk

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Speaker 2: and it wasn't true, or when you know whatever, or

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Speaker 2: if anyone was abusive to you or you know whatever. Area,

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Speaker 2: walk with it, feel it, feel how heavy the backpack is,

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Speaker 2: how your body's starting to hurt. And then I want

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Speaker 2: you to find in that walk. We're going to find

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Speaker 2: it a mile and a half walk, and then you're

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Speaker 2: going to get to a stream or some kind of

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Speaker 2: lake or something, and then you're going to take every

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Speaker 2: single one of those rocks out. You're going to say

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Speaker 2: the opposite. You're going to chuck that motherfucking rock into

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Speaker 2: the stream, and then you're gonna you're gonna release all

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Speaker 2: those negative energies and then you're gonna walk back.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna feel how light it is.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna take in all the new the new words

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Speaker 2: that you are enough, that you do deserve love, you know,

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Speaker 2: you do deserve a happy ending, all the things, and

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Speaker 2: you're gonna walk back and feel so light and it's

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Speaker 2: going to be such a good exercise for you.

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Speaker 3: And it was one that really helps me. Can you

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Speaker 3: do it?

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Speaker 1: I can do that. I'm really worried though, because there's

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Speaker 1: some coyotes, deep worse paparazzi, Like what if someone goes

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Speaker 1: and digs that up.

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Speaker 3: Ain't nobody digging up rocks in a like.

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Speaker 1: You have no idea what it'll be written on these rocks.

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Speaker 2: You don't have to tell anybody you can't even your kids.

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Speaker 2: You're just saying, Mom's going for a walk with the

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Speaker 2: backpack and some rocks.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so it'll be really healing for you. And if not,

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Speaker 3: piety on.

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Speaker 1: Some streets, cut up some turn and find a little area.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be good.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I can do that. Hold me accountable with all

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Speaker 1: your fifty million things you have going on in your life.

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Speaker 3: But I just it's a good New Year's thing to do.

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Speaker 1: No, that's a good one. You always hear people are like,

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Speaker 1: you have to cut the cord, envision it, and I

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Speaker 1: have to physically do the act, okay, And maybe that's

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Speaker 1: what's missing because I tried to do the manifestation and

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Speaker 1: envision all the chords that are still attached to me

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Speaker 1: from my whole life, that are cutting them and letting

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Speaker 1: them go and freeing them, not a it's not working.

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Speaker 1: So physically I need to do something physical. Yep, fuck

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Speaker 1: those rocks, chuck them. I know one main rock I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna chuck Yeah, got it.

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Speaker 2: I mean my I deserve abuse rock. I held on

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Speaker 2: to for like five minutes, and I like, the therapist

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Speaker 2: was like, you can let it go when you're ready,

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Speaker 2: and I was like but I just so whullheartedly believe

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Speaker 2: in my heart that's what I deserve. And she's like,

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Speaker 2: then we're going to sit here until you don't. It

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Speaker 2: was like Jenny throwing rocks at the house and Forrest Gump,

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Speaker 2: where I just like screamed, like throwing it. But it's

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Speaker 2: like it's so cathartic. I know it sounds so weird,

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Speaker 2: but no, it'll be great.

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Speaker 1: I'm weird. Nothing sounds weird. Here's the thing. I'm really

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Speaker 1: up for trying anything. I really do want this second chapter.

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Speaker 1: Second chapter is a weird terminology, right.

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Speaker 2: Well, I wrote a book called The Next Chapter, so

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Speaker 2: you can just you know, and I talk all about that.

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Speaker 2: And there were some things in there too from on

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Speaker 2: site that I talk about. So I know, I'm not

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Speaker 2: going to say, like, read my book because I know

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Speaker 2: you like who did that's weird? But like for anyone

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Speaker 2: that's listening, I wrote a book called The Next Chapter.

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Speaker 2: It's all about the year post divorce and the highs

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Speaker 2: and the lows and everything in between.

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Speaker 1: Can I listen to it on audio?

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Speaker 3: Sure?

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Speaker 1: Can? I got to say your song the story is

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Speaker 1: my anthem. M. It's interesting. When I went on dancing

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Speaker 1: with the stars. They want it. What are your anthems?

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Speaker 1: And they really want it? You know. They were like

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Speaker 1: j Loo, Katy Berry and I was like, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: one of my anthems, my friend Jana Kramer's the story

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Speaker 1: because that is the song and I listened to it

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Speaker 1: all the time and I just connect to it so much.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that song was That was the first song I

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Speaker 2: wrote post divorce, and I'm like, I got I just

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Speaker 2: I needed. My babies are my everything. So you know,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I just want to write a song

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Speaker 2: like how do I describe? How do I how do

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Speaker 2: I even have this conversation with them? And so my

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Speaker 2: dear friend Sarah Bryce, who's Lee Bryce's amazing wife and

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Speaker 2: she's a great songwriter and I just trust her with everything,

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Speaker 2: and so she, you know, we sat down and we

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Speaker 2: wrote this and is Yeah, I'm glad you resonate with

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Speaker 2: that one because it's it's so hard. But there will

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Speaker 2: be a time where your story changes.

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Speaker 1: Will you do a follow up to that song?

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Speaker 3: I did.

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Speaker 2: I wrote a song called silver Lining, which I haven't

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Speaker 2: put out yet, but it's it's about that. Yeah, It's

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Speaker 2: just it's about kind of that. It welcomes in Roman,

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Speaker 2: and it's like the silver lining of why that bad

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Speaker 2: things happen.

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Speaker 1: And our stories just keep going on and on. I

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Speaker 1: remember in one of my books, I wrote, rewrite your story,

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Speaker 1: you know, write your happy ending. I wrote this to

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Speaker 1: other people while I wasn't living the truth, but I

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Speaker 1: believed it wholeheartedly. I wanted others to do it. I

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Speaker 1: just couldn't do it myself. But sometimes the words you

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Speaker 1: say to others, sometimes you're the one that needs to

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Speaker 1: hear it the most. And that's a hard, hard thing. Wait,

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Speaker 1: so you met Alan because he slid into your dms.

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Speaker 1: How did you even get like? You must get a

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Speaker 1: million dance? How do you?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I look for my dam in case that

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Speaker 2: could happen with me. That was kind of how I

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Speaker 2: met a few people. Was I either saw them on

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Speaker 2: Riya and then we would both be like, oh, hey,

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Speaker 2: saw you on Riya but I didn't see Alan wasn't

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Speaker 2: on Riya, but he did. Yeah, he just DMed me

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Speaker 2: and it was a very respectful message. But I he

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Speaker 2: was living in London, and I kind of I responded like, oh, hey,

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Speaker 2: you know, thanks for say and hi, But he kept

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Speaker 2: dming and then we exchanged numbers, but we were communicating

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Speaker 2: over WhatsApp, but I don't really use WhatsApp, and so

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Speaker 2: he would text me. But I was so in the

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Speaker 2: mind I didn't really want a relationship at the time.

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Speaker 2: I was so happy being single and it was about

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Speaker 2: to be the holidays and I was just like I'm good,

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Speaker 2: Like I just kind of got to a place where

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Speaker 2: I was just happy alone and just with my kiddos,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, I just don't even want to entertain

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Speaker 2: some dude from London. Then I was talking to a

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Speaker 2: girlfriend and it was probably like a month or so later,

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Speaker 2: and she was like, are you talking to anyone?

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Speaker 3: I was like no.

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Speaker 2: It was like there was this soccer coach dude that

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Speaker 2: was like dming me. Then what's happening? But honestly, I

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Speaker 2: didn't I never even like looked him up or I

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Speaker 2: don't even know like what his things about, because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: he lives in London, so what's the point. And I

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Speaker 2: googled him. She's like, well google him, let me let

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Speaker 2: me see, and then I was like, oh, he's really cute.

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Speaker 2: I was like damn. I was like, well, like maybe

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Speaker 2: I could just have like a winner fling, like that's fine.

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Speaker 2: You know, I never been to London, you know, for

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Speaker 2: more than twenty four hours, so maybe like that could

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Speaker 2: be fun. So then I what's apped him back and

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, sorry, you know, I'm just I'm

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Speaker 2: never on this like this, this messaging thing, and then

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Speaker 2: we just started talking and then he flew to Asheville

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Speaker 2: to see me, and the rest was history.

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Speaker 1: How long between the gap of when he had what's

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Speaker 1: appt you last and then you responded when you said

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Speaker 1: hey sorry?

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Speaker 2: The last time I spoke with him was like October

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Speaker 2: and then it was November twelfth that I reached back out.

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Speaker 3: It was like a month.

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Speaker 1: That's impressive because to anybody, male or female, it could

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Speaker 1: be like, oh, take it the wrong way, like never mind,

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Speaker 1: oh oh okay, this is very helpful.

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Speaker 3: You got this.

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Speaker 1: It's helpful and it's topefal.

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Speaker 2: I'm excited for you. I'm just I'm going to just

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Speaker 2: keep the positive energy and it's it's exciting.

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Speaker 1: I don't want these chunters, though.

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Speaker 2: Right down everything and write down what you want, because

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Speaker 2: it's you no, but write down what you want. Like,

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Speaker 2: my girlfriend's divorced right now, and she's she's dating this

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Speaker 2: one guy and he's a little older.

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Speaker 3: She's like, I just can't do it. He's too old.

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Speaker 2: Like he's just like I'm in my forties, he's almost

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Speaker 2: in his sixties. She's like, I just can't do it.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, then don't, like, you don't need too

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Speaker 3: you know. She's a QUI enjoys company.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, but like, you don't need to force

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Speaker 2: anything if it's not your person. Next, thank you you

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Speaker 2: learned something. And then that's what I did with the

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Speaker 2: you know, the post of war dating. I was like,

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Speaker 2: all right, I always learned something about either what I wanted,

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Speaker 2: what I didn't want, or I learned something about myself.

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Speaker 3: And then next like what is okay for.

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Speaker 1: A fifty one year old woman?

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Speaker 2: Whatever, whatever you think is okay. A lot of girls

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Speaker 2: are going younger, you know. I mean, I would just

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Speaker 2: write down what you want as a as a person,

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Speaker 2: as a whole, like the qualities that you're wanting, and

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Speaker 2: go after that. I think, you know, and then.

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Speaker 1: See so many friends have been like okay, you know

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Speaker 1: dated the actor, Like you know, that's not a sustainable life.

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Speaker 1: It's inconsistent, you know, on both our parts, meanting like

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Speaker 1: it's not stable. Always, but they're like, so no more

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Speaker 1: actors like the next person. And I have friends that

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Speaker 1: are like, you're going to find someone who's so financially

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Speaker 1: set and it's going to turn everything around. And I've

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Speaker 1: always provided for myself. It's been nice when I've been

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Speaker 1: with a man that you know contributes, it's great. You

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Speaker 1: know it'd be great, but it's never been my thing.

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Speaker 1: And I still am like thinking in my head, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you know what would I want to, you know, be

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Speaker 1: so financially set and my kids, I don't have to

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Speaker 1: struggle all the time and I can spend more time

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Speaker 1: with them. Never been able to do that, or do

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Speaker 1: I want? Just like true love and whoever he is,

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Speaker 1: he is and I don't know to this day, I choose.

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Speaker 3: That always true love.

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Speaker 2: I promise you'll find you, but you have to clear

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Speaker 2: out some of the soul stuff first.

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Speaker 1: M Yeah, my soul's heavy and it's true and I'm

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Speaker 1: tired of carrying that around.

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Speaker 2: You shouldn't anymore. It's not it's not serving you, you know,

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Speaker 2: that's not I'm excited for you, though, thank you. I

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Speaker 2: have an and like a literally and symbol on the

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Speaker 2: literally that's my healing a literal and symbol. It's for

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Speaker 2: always to remember that you can hold space for both.

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Speaker 2: I love that matching tattoos.

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Speaker 1: I have to ask you about Massinger. I was on

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Speaker 1: season one and Massinger, so I was super sift. You're

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Speaker 1: on the season. Did you love every second of it?

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Speaker 1: Was that mask really heavy?

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Speaker 2: The ponytail made it like my head like fall back

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Speaker 2: every time. So I was just like, but they were

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Speaker 2: so I I what was your costume?

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Speaker 1: Unicorn?

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Speaker 2: Unicorn have fun? But I had the best time on

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Speaker 2: that show. Everyone's so nice and so fun. Like it

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Speaker 2: was just I'm always pretty insecure when I sing, and

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Speaker 2: something about having that mask on. I was like, I get,

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Speaker 2: like it was so much fun.

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Speaker 1: Did you choose your costume?

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Speaker 2: They kind of gave me an idea because of just

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Speaker 2: everything that I've been through there, like you know a

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Speaker 2: night and I'm like, well, Alan calls me his warrior,

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Speaker 2: so this is very like fitting. So it was so

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Speaker 2: they once they gave me that option, I was like,

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Speaker 2: hands down, one hundred percent got it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah for sure. When I saw the costume, I was like,

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Speaker 1: she must've come up with this, Like I just thought

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Speaker 1: for sure when I did it first season, they hadn't

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Speaker 1: completely worked out the heaviness of the mask. I was

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Speaker 1: like in a unicorn mask, so it was like the

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Speaker 1: horse like and it was I couldn't see a thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's like looking through coffee filters, is what

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Speaker 2: I tell people.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, that's exactly it. And because it was first season,

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Speaker 1: they were like, I spent all this time learning all

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Speaker 1: this choreography and then once I got into it, into

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Speaker 1: the mask and the huge dress that I was wearing,

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Speaker 1: I got on stage, I was like, but all this

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Speaker 1: like crazy choreography not an option, No, but yeah, I

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Speaker 1: loved seeing you on that. Did your kids know?

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Speaker 2: My kids knew, yeah, because they loved the show, so

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Speaker 2: I told them. But that was it, Like mine, I

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Speaker 2: still had family texting me being like, when were you

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Speaker 2: going to let us know you hadnt like this alter

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Speaker 2: ego And I was like, oh, I was like, we

385
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Speaker 2: were sworn to secrecy, so I'm like, but yeah, it

386
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 2: was awesome. I had the best time.

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Speaker 1: It's so and you're a singer, but you just said

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Speaker 1: you're insecure about you're singing. But I'm not a singer,

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Speaker 1: so for me, it was like crazy hard but freeing

390
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Speaker 1: like that was less scary doing that than Dancing with

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Speaker 1: the Stars, only because my face was concealed and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like one thousand percent. Yeah, Dancing with the Stars

393
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Speaker 2: is the most I mean that that made me so

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Speaker 2: self conscious and just made me feel like I suck

395
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Speaker 2: at everything when I did that show, because it's like

396
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Speaker 2: you're doing something you don't know how to do, you know,

397
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Speaker 2: and then you're trying to be good at it, and

398
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Speaker 2: it's just it's hard. But yeah, the MASD Singer is

399
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Speaker 2: just like you can just go out there and have

400
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Speaker 2: so much fun and nobody knows who you are, and like, yeah,

401
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 2: the mask element is fantastic. Like I didn't get nervous,

402
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Speaker 2: it was so fun.

403
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Speaker 1: I got nervous. I was just like, I'm so glad

404
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,760
Speaker 1: no one knows it's Tory spelling, so they can't just

405
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Speaker 1: see my face and be like, okay, we're gonna judge

406
00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 1: you right from jump or a right? Wait? Sorry, when

407
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,720
Speaker 1: did you get eliminated on Dancing with the Stars?

408
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Speaker 2: Upper I always semifinals, that's right, you should have stayed longer.

409
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Speaker 3: I was bummed for you. I was so bummed.

410
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:11,439
Speaker 2: I was so happy you were on the show, and

411
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Speaker 2: then I was so bummed that you got voted off

412
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Speaker 2: that early.

413
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Speaker 3: I was like, no, that's wrong.

414
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Speaker 2: I was robbed right, Yeah, I feel like it's a

415
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Speaker 2: little rigged where they need that.

416
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Speaker 3: Like oh moment.

417
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Speaker 1: It definitely was great.

418
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it wasn't your time that was, but.

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Speaker 1: It was my time, right sure, because that was part

420
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,760
Speaker 1: of the journey. It's another one of my things though

421
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 1: in life, where I'm like, Okay, I try so hard

422
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Speaker 1: to turn things around. Jenny Garth used to call me

423
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Speaker 1: Pollyanna because she'd be like, Okay. Anytime she'd be like,

424
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Speaker 1: oh no, one bummed about something, I'd be like, but

425
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:51,399
Speaker 1: there's this this, And it's always like Dodd do you?

426
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Speaker 1: And I always have that like like everything's it's gonna

427
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 1: work out and that fire is dimmed a little bit,

428
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Speaker 1: but it's coming back. So it was just another one

429
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,800
Speaker 1: of those things that I'm like, Okay, everyone's like, this

430
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,520
Speaker 1: is it. This is gonna be just a whole new

431
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 1: element for you, and everyone's gonna see you in a

432
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:12,120
Speaker 1: different light, and this is gonna propel so many other

433
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Speaker 1: things that are gonna manifest and come your way and

434
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 1: then to go through. And I threw myself into it

435
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:22,239
Speaker 1: completely because when we're the types that when we go

436
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 1: we go full on or we don't at all, you know.

437
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:28,480
Speaker 1: So I commit it one thousand percent and I worked

438
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: really hard and it did change my life. I found

439
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: such joy and emotional freedom in that experience that I'm grateful.

440
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: But it was a little bit of like the two

441
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 1: two train, like, oh, just climbed up that hill. Here

442
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: I am, and then eliminate it first, you know, first

443
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 1: go around. It's like, okay, so I'm like, where are

444
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 1: the what's this message here? Like these signs? Like every

445
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: time I think I make it, it's like and nope,

446
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,159
Speaker 1: start over again. And it's like, I'm fifty one. I

447
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,480
Speaker 1: don't want to keep starting over again. I want to

448
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 1: do things that are working and keep working, not going

449
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 1: back down.

450
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,159
Speaker 2: Well, this is the start of it. I mean, I

451
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 2: think again, like the start of the new year. You're

452
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: going into the new year. And this is what's so

453
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 2: great is you're leaving the divorce in twenty twenty four

454
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 2: and you're starting the new year in twenty twenty five

455
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: with the mindset of you.

456
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: You're going up, you know, and you're staying up.

457
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:25,800
Speaker 1: Do you believe your own personal mindset can physically keep

458
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 1: you held behind work wise, Let's say.

459
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do, but you know, I think again, it's

460
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 2: like I believe in all the positive manifestations, but I

461
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 2: also think you have to couple that with you know

462
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,120
Speaker 2: work and or with you know therapy, and then yeah,

463
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,960
Speaker 2: I mean, I try to be as positive as I can,

464
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 2: but it's hard when I when I get slumpy, like

465
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I'm never going to book another TV

466
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 2: show again because I'm real down on myself about that

467
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 2: right now. So I get so close, I'm like, I'll test,

468
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,360
Speaker 2: I'll be like one of three girls for big shows,

469
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,240
Speaker 2: and then I don't get it, and it's like I'm

470
00:22:58,240 --> 00:22:59,919
Speaker 2: just never gonna I'm never gonna get it. Well, if

471
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 2: I continue saying I'm never going to get it, I'm

472
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: never going to get it. So I'm trying to like

473
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,159
Speaker 2: shift like no, I'm going to get it. It's just

474
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: not my time yet.

475
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: Thank you for all of this.

476
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 3: I love you. I'm so I love you.

477
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: I really do want to come to Nashville please. I

478
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: know we've talked about it for a while. We talked

479
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,399
Speaker 1: about it when we well, you were single and I

480
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 1: was should have been single. I should have done it than.

481
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 3: But you really should have. It would have been fun.

482
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 3: But we can still have fun.

483
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to go kick some rocks.

484
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 3: Yes, no, throw throw rocks.

485
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: Throw some rocks. Okay,