WEBVTT - Burnout

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<v Speaker 1>Hey guys, it's Kaylee. And this is too much to

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<v Speaker 1>say asking questions it out you. All right, I'm coming

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<v Speaker 1>to you today from sunny, beautiful Hilton Had, South Carolina.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here with my boyfriend's family. They do a vacation

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<v Speaker 1>here every year and it is always very special and

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<v Speaker 1>very relaxing. Uh, this year, you know, it's the fourth.

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<v Speaker 1>We typically are here this week every year. Um, but

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<v Speaker 1>the fourth didn't really feel like anything worth celebrating to me.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was just like hot dogs and fireworks. But

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<v Speaker 1>it was definitely less festive noticeably than other years. Um.

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<v Speaker 1>It is definitely hard to celebrate freedom when you no

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<v Speaker 1>longer have it. Um. I still, you know, I live

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<v Speaker 1>between l A and Tennessee, but I'm a Tennessee resident

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<v Speaker 1>and I live, really live in a state where I

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<v Speaker 1>have less bodily autonomy rights than a corpse. And that's

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<v Speaker 1>not maybe being dramatic. That is just a genuine fact,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's really fucked up. So if we have any

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<v Speaker 1>like men listening or people who are having trouble empathizing

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<v Speaker 1>with that, it's just it is insane to realize that

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<v Speaker 1>the government can force you to be a mother in Ohio.

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<v Speaker 1>This week. Um, there was a little girl who was

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<v Speaker 1>brought in by Child Protective Services because she had been

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<v Speaker 1>raped by a family member. And um, she was ten

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<v Speaker 1>years old, and a ten year old can't give birth.

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<v Speaker 1>You just you just can't do that, that is like.

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<v Speaker 1>And her state of Ohio banned all abortions and she

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<v Speaker 1>was not allowed to get one, so they had to

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<v Speaker 1>basically smuggle her over to Indiana to get an abortion.

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<v Speaker 1>But who knows when that could go away too, So

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<v Speaker 1>it's just the fact that that was so narrowly avoided

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<v Speaker 1>and there was no support system for that girl in

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<v Speaker 1>her own dight is insane. Um. So anyways, that's what's

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<v Speaker 1>been on my mind. But this episode, speaking of all that,

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<v Speaker 1>is about burnout. And I think we've all probably seen

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<v Speaker 1>what burnout is on the internet, and if you don't,

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<v Speaker 1>it's you've felt it. It's it's that feeling that the

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<v Speaker 1>world is so heavy and so complicated and there's nothing

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<v Speaker 1>you can possibly do about it, and it bleeds over

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<v Speaker 1>into your own life and your own relationships, and you

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<v Speaker 1>come home from a long day at work and you

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<v Speaker 1>turn on the news and all you see is just

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely horrifying things, and then you'll want you want to

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<v Speaker 1>have a nice night with your partner, but then you

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<v Speaker 1>can't make yourself be intimate because there's too much running

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<v Speaker 1>through your mind. And then all of a sudden, it's

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<v Speaker 1>just like taking over your life. And so like we

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<v Speaker 1>already have bad days, right, but then when you look

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<v Speaker 1>and you see a bad world, it just exacerbates everything.

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<v Speaker 1>And so when you have enough of those days in

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<v Speaker 1>a row, hello burnout. And and given the culture that

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<v Speaker 1>we live in, with the internet and cell phones and

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<v Speaker 1>with the twenty four hour news cycle, it's impossible to avoid.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm like the last age, Like I'm like the

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<v Speaker 1>one of the last, like the tail and of millennials

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<v Speaker 1>are like the last generation of people who can remember

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<v Speaker 1>life before cell phones and texting and internet and all

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<v Speaker 1>of those things, but also know what it's like to

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<v Speaker 1>have one, like all through high school. So I have

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<v Speaker 1>an interesting perspective on that, Like I remember what it

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<v Speaker 1>was like to not to have to have somebody call

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<v Speaker 1>you on your home phone and to have to wait

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<v Speaker 1>around to be picked up and not have a cell

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<v Speaker 1>phone to the call and be like, oh, I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 1>be here. But I also, you know, know what it

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<v Speaker 1>felt like to be addicted to my phone by the

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<v Speaker 1>time I was fourteen years old. Um, and I have

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<v Speaker 1>a hard time turning off empathy, and I think it

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<v Speaker 1>that's a very normal human thing. I don't think I'm

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<v Speaker 1>special for that. I think that we all do that.

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<v Speaker 1>We just might not be able to recognize that that's

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<v Speaker 1>what we're feeling. Um. But when you watch something on

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<v Speaker 1>the news that's very taxing and people are dying for.

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<v Speaker 1>For me, the biggest one recently was the the Uvaldi shooting,

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't turn that off in my head. I could

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<v Speaker 1>turn off the news, I could stop reading about it,

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<v Speaker 1>but I always found myself circling back to it and

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<v Speaker 1>winding up, like staying up late on Twitter, reading accounts

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<v Speaker 1>from the kids, parents, and UM, it's hard, it's really hard,

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't want to turn off my emotions, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to become desensitized to this, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what it feels like we're heading towards as a culture.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just seeing stuff like that, being like, oh, look

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<v Speaker 1>another's shooting and that's not That doesn't feel good to me.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm trying to find the balance between protecting myself

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<v Speaker 1>but also not like tuning everything out completely and it's

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<v Speaker 1>a delicate balance. And I'm going to tell you a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit about what I found in my search for

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<v Speaker 1>that and also share some advice from some other people.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'll bury that. So. I remember back in I

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<v Speaker 1>Am was roommates with some some people and I was

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<v Speaker 1>talking to them about, you know, all the Black Lives

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<v Speaker 1>Matter stuff and all the hard stuff that was going on,

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<v Speaker 1>and they were just like, oh, you know, I just

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<v Speaker 1>don't really pay attention all that. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>what are you kidding? Are you kidding me? Like you

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<v Speaker 1>don't you just don't pay attention. They're like, yeah, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I just really can't, Like it's just really stressful, and

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<v Speaker 1>I just like try to be quote unquote a political

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, a political that's not fucking real.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe it was real, but I mean, I just can't

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<v Speaker 1>think of being a political. It is such a privilege.

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<v Speaker 1>It is such a privilege to be able to be like,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't care who is in office, I don't care

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<v Speaker 1>what decisions are being made for my country because at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, I am privileged enough that

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<v Speaker 1>they will not affect me. I've never met a black

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<v Speaker 1>person or a gay person who describes themselves to say political.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure they exist out there, but I'm just saying, like,

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<v Speaker 1>being a political is a privilege, and not everybody is

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<v Speaker 1>able to do that. And I know a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>women who considered themselves to be a political but then

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<v Speaker 1>now that the Supreme Court has overturned roev Wade, they're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>wait a second, that affects me. It's like, yes, it

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<v Speaker 1>does affect you. Welcome to the life of a minority women. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>this is what it feels like. So no, I just

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know exactly how to like handle that either.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I'm talking about this, but I don't really know

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<v Speaker 1>the best advice because it's like, how do you tune

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<v Speaker 1>stuff out enough that you're protecting your mental health but

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<v Speaker 1>also not become totally ignorant? And so I actually posted

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<v Speaker 1>something about this on my Twitter account and somebody shared

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<v Speaker 1>some really good advice, but my tweet was like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>basically a moment of desperation and I was just screaming

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<v Speaker 1>into the ether, being like somebody out um. But I

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<v Speaker 1>just was like, how do I find the balance between

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<v Speaker 1>reading the news slash not being ignorant to the plight

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<v Speaker 1>of minority groups? But still protect my mental health. It

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<v Speaker 1>feels like a privilege to tune it out. But also

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<v Speaker 1>my brain is completely consumed by the ship. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>very depressing to talk to and that's very true. I

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<v Speaker 1>have a really really hard time not talking about it

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<v Speaker 1>because it's consuming me and I have a d h

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<v Speaker 1>D and I think it might be like hyperfixation thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and I hyperfixate on the news and whatever bad situation

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<v Speaker 1>is happening. But I'm very depressing to talk to you sometimes,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't want to be depressing to talk to.

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<v Speaker 1>So somebody, UM name M she's a fan and she's amazing.

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<v Speaker 1>She shared this newsletter with me called UM s y

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<v Speaker 1>s C A Ship you should care About, And it's

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<v Speaker 1>a newsletter that balances things out with good news, but

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<v Speaker 1>it also shares like really important world updates that you

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<v Speaker 1>need to know. But then it has pop culture as well,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's been really really great. So I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>to pay attention to stuff. Um, it's like I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to follow all these news things on Twitter. I

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<v Speaker 1>can just kind of like scroll through them, but I

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<v Speaker 1>can read this newsletter in the morning, and so that

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<v Speaker 1>was like really really great advice. UM. But I reached

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<v Speaker 1>out to some friends of mine in the music industry

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<v Speaker 1>because it is a really really special kind of burnout

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<v Speaker 1>that you get because we're taught to say yes to everything. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>We're taught like basically instilled with FOMO. Like from the

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<v Speaker 1>moment you walk into the music industry, it's like if

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<v Speaker 1>you say no to this, like you never know what

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<v Speaker 1>can happen, blah blah blah. So I've said yes to

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<v Speaker 1>so many dumb opportunities because I'm like, you never know

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<v Speaker 1>who could be there. But then also I've had opportunities

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<v Speaker 1>where it's been completely true. So it's like trying to

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<v Speaker 1>figure out how to be deliberate with your time and

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<v Speaker 1>protect your mental health and not to mention like artists

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<v Speaker 1>and creatives are all like very very emotional people and

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<v Speaker 1>that's what makes it even harder. And like I'm an

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<v Speaker 1>angiogram eight and so I'm very just as oriented, and

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<v Speaker 1>so if i feel like something is unfair and it's

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<v Speaker 1>not getting fixed, I lose my fucking shit and I

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<v Speaker 1>can't think about anything else. And I'm just like so

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<v Speaker 1>focused on getting justice, whether it's for myself or for others.

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<v Speaker 1>I just I need that sort of not karma. It's

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<v Speaker 1>not karma, it's being like these people need to know

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<v Speaker 1>they're wrong, and that's my best way to describe it.

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<v Speaker 1>But so, um, up next, I'm going to share some

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<v Speaker 1>advice I got from Butch Walker, my producer, and Maggie Rose,

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<v Speaker 1>an incredible artist, and they both shared some really really

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<v Speaker 1>great advice, having both been in the music industry and

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<v Speaker 1>been you know, professionally ootional for decades at this point.

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<v Speaker 1>So I'm gonna share that. Are okay? So I would

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<v Speaker 1>go to Bunchet with advice for anything. Bunchwalker is an

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<v Speaker 1>amazing producer. He produced my EP I got here by accident. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>I've looked up to him my whole life and getting

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<v Speaker 1>to work with him was such a dream. He has

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<v Speaker 1>produced Taylor Swift, he did Um Everything has Changed on Red.

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<v Speaker 1>He's produced many of Pink songs. He wrote and produced

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<v Speaker 1>UM so much for My Happy Ending by Avril Levine.

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<v Speaker 1>He's produced Wheezer, Green Day, Fallout Boy, Panic at the Disco,

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<v Speaker 1>and he is just a beast. Um can't ripe enough

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<v Speaker 1>about this man. So this was his advice when I

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<v Speaker 1>asked him about like what he wished someone had told

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<v Speaker 1>him earlier in the music industry and in this political

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<v Speaker 1>climb it so, he said, I think burnout is inevitable

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<v Speaker 1>with anyone who is constantly working toward goals. If you're

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<v Speaker 1>a writer, you're always trying to be your best. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're an actor, Sam, if you're an advocate for a

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<v Speaker 1>cause and you're passionate about it, you'll burn out. The

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<v Speaker 1>harder the flame burns, the faster it runs out of fire.

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<v Speaker 1>I stepped away many times in my career, whether it

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<v Speaker 1>be from writing, producing records, and touring, or even from

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<v Speaker 1>social media, when I get too wrapped up in it

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<v Speaker 1>and can't find the goal post or what I set

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<v Speaker 1>out to do. I have a little anecdote from my

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<v Speaker 1>journey that I often share. When someone asked me how

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<v Speaker 1>my role of being a producer came to be, I

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<v Speaker 1>tell them that over twenty years ago, I just wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to be a big touring artist. I'd already been on

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<v Speaker 1>the road, playing about two shows a year for a

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<v Speaker 1>decade when I finally reached the point of being frustrated

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<v Speaker 1>with a touring grind and not reaching unrealistic goals for myself.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just walked away. I said to myself, I'll

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<v Speaker 1>just make records in my studio for a while. I

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<v Speaker 1>really enjoyed that part of music, and I hadn't had

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<v Speaker 1>time to explore it because I was always torn. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>that's when all of a sudden, all of these amazing

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<v Speaker 1>opportunities came my way as a producer, all because I

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<v Speaker 1>was burned out on touring. That's when I realized to

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<v Speaker 1>still love something for many years to come, I have

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<v Speaker 1>to be willing to let it breathe. The same applies

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<v Speaker 1>to relationships as well, and I think there's so so

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<v Speaker 1>much truth in that, and that was really good advice

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<v Speaker 1>for me, and also for me to like think about

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<v Speaker 1>reconnecting to the parts of music that I love that

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<v Speaker 1>I might not make time for every day because there's

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<v Speaker 1>so many different parts of it. I mean, you've some

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<v Speaker 1>of you have probably listened to my podcast on the

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<v Speaker 1>creative Process, and they're all very very distinct things that

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<v Speaker 1>you're doing, um to exercise that same creative muscle. So

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<v Speaker 1>next up we have Maggie Rose. Maggie is an incredible artist,

0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:38.840
<v Speaker 1>one of the best vocalists I've ever heard. She's done country,

0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:42.560
<v Speaker 1>she's done rock. Um. She just has this really, really

0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:47.240
<v Speaker 1>soulful voice and she had Her big start was when

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.319
<v Speaker 1>she released a cover of You Somebody by Kings of

0:12:50.400 --> 0:12:54.679
<v Speaker 1>Leon Um on Universal Republic and her name was Margaret

0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:58.160
<v Speaker 1>Darante at that point. Um, she's had songs on the

0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Disney Channel. Um. She's Her big single in country that

0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 1>like really broke through was the song called and Your Mama,

0:13:05.520 --> 0:13:08.719
<v Speaker 1>And I love that she released a record in called

0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:10.640
<v Speaker 1>Changed the Whole Thing, which really did change the little

0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:15.240
<v Speaker 1>thing for her. Um. She just is such a spitfire

0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:20.080
<v Speaker 1>and I adore her so much. She's towards Cheryl Crow.

0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:23.920
<v Speaker 1>She has done so many things and I'm totally blinking

0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:29.040
<v Speaker 1>on them because like she's so incredible. Um, I just

0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.679
<v Speaker 1>could not adore her more. She's one of my best friends. Um.

0:13:32.760 --> 0:13:38.040
<v Speaker 1>She's a fashionista and just amazing. She's been featured in

0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:43.959
<v Speaker 1>so many, like different publications Rolling Stone. Um. Oh, she's

0:13:44.559 --> 0:13:47.840
<v Speaker 1>played the Grand ol Opry over fifty times. I want

0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:51.120
<v Speaker 1>to say maybe over seventy five at this point. Um.

0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.439
<v Speaker 1>But her album that came out is called Have a Seat,

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.560
<v Speaker 1>and it is a full soul R and B album

0:13:57.679 --> 0:13:59.720
<v Speaker 1>and you guys have to check it out. It's amazing.

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:05.280
<v Speaker 1>So that's my very chaotic biography on making Rows but

0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:08.720
<v Speaker 1>this was her advice for burno. I realized recently that

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:10.400
<v Speaker 1>up until this point in my life I haven't done

0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>the best job establishing boundaries for myself, which is the

0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.839
<v Speaker 1>biggest factor that leads to burnout. In my opinion, I've

0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.120
<v Speaker 1>been programmed to believe I have to be the hardest worker,

0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.400
<v Speaker 1>a people pleaser, and always on if I wanted to

0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:23.200
<v Speaker 1>enjoy a successful career in the music industry, and everything

0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 1>around me reaffirm those beliefs. I do work hard doing

0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.440
<v Speaker 1>what I love, and I love making people happy. But

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.640
<v Speaker 1>I realized, after being in this industry for so long,

0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.200
<v Speaker 1>that a sustainable career is not made or broken by

0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:35.160
<v Speaker 1>one show or a big moment, and I don't need

0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:36.800
<v Speaker 1>to answer every call that comes in my way if

0:14:36.800 --> 0:14:39.760
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't fulfill me. That takes years of building confidence

0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:43.160
<v Speaker 1>and knowing oneself, which takes work and self exploration. Furthermore,

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:44.560
<v Speaker 1>if I plan on doing this for the rest of

0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.480
<v Speaker 1>my life, which would be the dream, that I need

0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:48.680
<v Speaker 1>to make sure I'm walking my path my way. I

0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.880
<v Speaker 1>was told to stay away from hot button political topics

0:14:50.880 --> 0:14:53.160
<v Speaker 1>in my early career, and I felt unrest because of it.

0:14:53.480 --> 0:14:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I listened to my gut a lot more now, and

0:14:55.080 --> 0:14:56.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm at peace with the fact that I'm so much

0:14:56.680 --> 0:14:58.640
<v Speaker 1>more than just an entertainer. So I make sure I

0:14:58.640 --> 0:15:00.520
<v Speaker 1>don't smether those parts of myself that make me a

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.800
<v Speaker 1>more well rounded and wholehearted person, trying to want what

0:15:03.880 --> 0:15:06.960
<v Speaker 1>I have and not want. All I want is a

0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:11.560
<v Speaker 1>daily exercise, and I love that, and I needed to

0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.280
<v Speaker 1>hear that. So I'm asking these people for advice to

0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.920
<v Speaker 1>share on the podcast, but I'm also like, hey, successful

0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.680
<v Speaker 1>person that I respect and look up to, and it

0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.720
<v Speaker 1>seems to have a really healthy mental state. How do

0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.520
<v Speaker 1>you do it? But if you guys have any good

0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:27.280
<v Speaker 1>tips for avoiding burnout, I think I might do another

0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:29.760
<v Speaker 1>episode on this. I'm on vacation right now, so I

0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.000
<v Speaker 1>really was like, Okay, let's do an episode on burnout,

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:33.800
<v Speaker 1>but let's also not burn ourselves out doing it and

0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.560
<v Speaker 1>try to enjoy this vacation. So I also want to

0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:42.440
<v Speaker 1>recognize that some of the coping strategies for burnout are

0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.360
<v Speaker 1>inherently privileged. A single mom working three jobs does not

0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:50.960
<v Speaker 1>get to go on vacation to Hilton Head that her

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.880
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend's parents were kind enough to invite us on and

0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:57.360
<v Speaker 1>take that break and get to go to the beach

0:15:57.440 --> 0:15:59.760
<v Speaker 1>and just lay out there all day. So I'm definitely

0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:04.000
<v Speaker 1>just want to check my privilege there because we all

0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:09.960
<v Speaker 1>have to adjust what we're capable of and um our

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:13.280
<v Speaker 1>expectations for ourselves based on that. So I'm going to

0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:16.360
<v Speaker 1>go take full advantage of this. And UM, I love

0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:18.520
<v Speaker 1>you guys so much. I hope that you are able

0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.680
<v Speaker 1>to find some healthy ways of dealing with this. UM,

0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:29.120
<v Speaker 1>stay kind, stay whole, stay safe, and try to stay happy.

0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 1>I love you all so much and I'll be back

0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 1>next week. My name is Kaylie Short and this is

0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:44.160
<v Speaker 1>too much to say. Don't asking questions now, turn it

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.479
<v Speaker 1>out you