WEBVTT - Reasonable Rewind: Mind Your Mentals w/ Myrja Paul 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:04.320 Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.559 Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:15.080 What's up? 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:18.160 What's up, y'all? This is Robin, one half of Reasonably Shady, 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:21.360 and I am sorry to inform you but life has 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:24.120 been lifing for us and we do not have a 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:28.040 new episode for you today. However, we are going to 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:34.240 replay a wonderful, amazing, important episode from season one called 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:38.200 Mine Your Mental It is all about mental health. Of course, 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:41.199 talking about mental health is always important while life is 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.839 lifing for us and for most people around here. This 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:46.920 is a great episode to listen to. We will be 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:50.120 back promise next week with an all new episode. Thank 0:00:50.159 --> 0:00:54.160 you for loving us, for being patient, for understanding, but 0:00:54.440 --> 0:01:03.360 we will talk to you soon. All right, bye. 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:06.120 A lot of times we don't talk about you know. 0:01:06.160 --> 0:01:08.000 We laugh, we giggle, we do, we do our thing. 0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.399 But you know, we definitely wanted to get to especially 0:01:10.920 --> 0:01:13.479 with the journey that Robin has been on, we wanted 0:01:13.520 --> 0:01:15.560 to get into some mental health. So we put a 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:20.360 question out to you guys about the misconceptions of mental health. 0:01:20.840 --> 0:01:24.560 And this episode is called mind your Mentals. Okay, mind 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:27.920 your mentals. And because I'm not an expert, Robin's not 0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.240 an expert. We did get an expert to come and 0:01:30.319 --> 0:01:33.520 chat with us today, and. 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:35.440 Yes, I'm going to introduce our guests, but just to 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.880 talk about like this with the show, just me talking 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:43.480 about how I was feeling during COVID or my seasonal depression. Honestly, 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:46.760 I was floored by the response that I received from 0:01:46.800 --> 0:01:49.800 the viewers. YEA, for people who said, thank you so much, 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:53.120 you verbalizing everything that I feel, you know, thank you 0:01:53.200 --> 0:01:55.520 for representing people like us, thank you for making me 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:58.920 feel human. And so I've realized how important it is 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.920 to talk about these you know, not just in your 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:05.040 private home or in your you know, with your trusted confidante, 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:07.960 but like, you know, in a public setting, to make 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.520 people know that people like us who are on TV 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:14.320 were human as well, and you know, just to make 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:17.800 this forum, in this topic a little bit bigger, you know, 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.800 so that people don't have to hesitate to talk about 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:21.400 mental health. 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:25.440 And also to make it not feel so taboo. You know, 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:28.600 it's not a subject in which we can't talk about. 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:30.760 We definitely need to talk about it, and we need 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:32.760 to make it we need to normalize it a bit. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:36.600 So absolutely, please tell us who I guess it is. 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.840 So I'm going to introduce our guests and then we're 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.000 going to take a short pause, okay, because so, so, 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:44.480 I just want to let you all know Gizelle and 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:47.480 I will now be sharing a microphone. Since we are 0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:51.560 by residential, which means, you know, sometimes we record at 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:55.880 Gazelle's house and sometimes we're at my house, we forget 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.880 a piece of equipment, which would be called a third 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:03.880 microphone for our guests. So once we introduce our guests, 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:06.600 she's going to have one microphone, and then Giselle and 0:03:06.680 --> 0:03:09.040 I will share one. So it might sound a little wonky, 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:12.560 but you know where you men, so bear with us, 0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:16.840 all right. So, Mirja Paul is the owner and clinical 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:21.360 director of Soul Counseling and Consulting. Major received her Bachelor 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:24.919 of Arts degree in psychology from the Pennsylvania State University 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:28.840 and her Master of Science degree in Clinical Community Counseling 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:34.720 from Johns Hopkins University Okay credentials. Marja is a licensed 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:40.080 clinical professional counselor and is an approved clinical supervisor by 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.080 the Maryland Board of Professional Counselors and Therapists. In April 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:47.920 twenty twenty, Major opens Soul Counseling and Consulting, a group 0:03:48.080 --> 0:03:52.680 mental health practice that provides individual, family, and couples counseling. 0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:59.760 Mission is to decrease the stigma of mental health, particularly 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:04.680 in communities of color. Her vision for the practice is 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:07.920 to create a safe and supportive place for clients to 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:12.600 feel comfortable, heard, and understood. Marriager's goal is to help 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:17.039 people feel empowered to live, not merely exist or settle. 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.320 She chose the name Soul because the sun is a 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:24.960 daily reminder that we two can rise again from the darkness, 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:28.920 that we too can shine our own light. 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:29.960 I love that. 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:33.599 And before I let Marriaga talk, I have to say something. 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:42.480 Marja is the sister of Carly, who is our director 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.880 of operations. Okay, so you all have heard us talk 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:47.359 about Carly. Carly is the one that kind of like 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:51.280 handles our logistics. She's helping us set up. She forgot 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.000 to bring the third microphone. 0:04:53.120 --> 0:04:53.360 Okay. 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.520 I'm Joe, and Carly's also like my very good friend, 0:04:56.600 --> 0:04:58.720 Like you've seen Carly on the show, helping me out 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.600 with a lot of my different ventures. But I just 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.960 want to say this. I found it very comical. So 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:09.960 I'm looking at our emails on the reason Reasonably Shady Emails. 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:14.320 And I see this email from our director of Operations, Carly, 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:20.839 to her sister Mirja that says, hello, miss Paul, we 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:25.760 are I am writing to confirm your appearance on the 0:05:25.800 --> 0:05:31.640 Reasonably Shady podcast at If you have any questions, please 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:37.200 forward them to me whatever, blah blah blah, sincerely Carly, 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:46.080 the director of Operations. And I was like, what, I'm like, 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.560 this girl is literally talking to her sister in a 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:56.520 business manner. She takes her director of operations job very seriously. 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:58.120 Okay. 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:00.880 I always dying if that was me and I was 0:06:00.880 --> 0:06:02.320 talking to my sister, I'd be like, hey, girl, we're 0:06:02.360 --> 0:06:04.440 gonna see you on Friday. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:05.800 At four o'clock, all right, peace? 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:10.120 Like what? Yes, you gotta keep it professional at all times, 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:14.160 But were you like sister No, I found it very professional, 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.200 and I was I was very proud of her, like, 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:19.200 I'm a professional woman. Don't talk to me like I'm 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.200 some regular chick off the street business. 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:27.279 Okay, okay, okay. I did want to say that you're 0:06:27.400 --> 0:06:31.440 just soul counseling. It's spelled s o L, yes, not 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.120 so s o U L. I thought that was like 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:36.080 so like soul. 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:39.400 Oh, but it isn't soul s o l. 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:41.400 That's so that son in Spanish. 0:06:41.400 --> 0:06:43.520 That's so that sun in Spanish. It's also like the 0:06:43.600 --> 0:06:47.600 root word of like a lot of words with sun, solstice. Yes, 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:51.240 sola and French, so you know, trying to go back 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.800 to my my French roots and yes, but no one 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.440 can say so lea. So I was just like, never mind, 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:58.400 you just keep making us think yes. 0:06:58.400 --> 0:07:01.280 Okay, So getting into it. So with the misconceptions about 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:05.360 mental health, a lot of people said that they feel 0:07:05.400 --> 0:07:09.000 like they're weak right when they go seek out counseling. 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:13.000 They feel like they're quote crazy, like, you know, they 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:15.960 don't want to feel like they have mental issues. What 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:16.840 are your thoughts on that? 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:19.640 So we get that a lot, right, And that's the 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:21.560 whole thing about the stigma and how you were saying, 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.320 Robin about like making it, you know, just more normal 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:28.000 normalizing it. Right. So back in the day, it was 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:31.200 for quote unquote crazy people, right, it was for severe 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:34.160 mental health issues. They would go to the you know, 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.800 psychiatric hospital and things like that. And I don't know 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:40.600 if we've really changed from that. We're changing, you know, 0:07:40.880 --> 0:07:44.560 but it feels like, do you wait until like your 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:46.760 arm is about to fall off before you go to 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:49.200 the doctor. It's like, are you weak for going to 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.360 your regular doctor for your regular checkups? No? So I 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:55.320 feel like we take care of our body, you should 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.119 also take care of our mind. So that idea about 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.720 it being for weak people or just for crazy people. 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.240 And you know, as a therapist, we don't like to 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:06.640 use the word crazy, but no, I feel like there 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.240 are a lot of different issues that people have and 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.120 don't wait until it's too late or you're super struggling 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:16.080 with something before you go talk to somebody. 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.480 Okay, but I'm sorry. A lot of people used crazy, right, 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:21.920 and that's what they said, Like I'm gonna feel crazy. 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:25.320 That's for crazy people. So what word should we be 0:08:25.520 --> 0:08:27.720 using because I don't feel comfortable using that word. 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.640 Sure, just say how you feel, right, So like if 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:32.560 you say I'm gonna feel crazy for going or do 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:34.800 you feel like a crazy person? If you feel like 0:08:34.800 --> 0:08:37.200 a crazy person, and that's your word to use, Okay, 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:39.400 but you can say I'm feeling really anxious, I'm feeling 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.199 really overwhelmed. Okay, I feel like I just got to 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:43.760 get like would you say on the show Rob and 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:47.240 get my life together, Like you just say how you feel. 0:08:47.240 --> 0:08:49.120 You don't have to just go to the word crazy, 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:50.080 just say how you're feeling. 0:08:50.120 --> 0:08:53.959 I like that. Okay, So when would you say, like, 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:57.079 is there a point when people should know like, Okay, 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:58.960 I need to go talk to someone because I'll be 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.440 honest with me. Can I consider myself to be a 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.720 very thick skin person. I'm very like, Okay, you know, 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.880 life isn't perfect, you know, suck it up, move on, 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:13.560 it's in And I probably don't spend the time to 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.160 kind of like really sit back and check in with myself. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.520 And so for you know, people like me or even 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.280 other people who kind of just you know, have this 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.160 stigma in their mind about mental health, when do you say, like, Okay, 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.920 I need to now, I need to go talk to someone. 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:29.720 I need to check in. 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:32.960 Yeah, but it's just like, whatever you're doing hasn't been working. 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:35.720 So if whatever you're doing is not working, then you 0:09:35.760 --> 0:09:40.120 try something different. Sometimes it's therapy, sometimes it's something totally different. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:42.880 But if you're feeling like, oh my gosh, I've been 0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:45.200 dealing with this for a long time and whatever I'm 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:48.920 doing is not working, be open to trying something different 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:52.080 and therapy is not for everybody, but you could try 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:53.880 it and see if that works for you. But the 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.600 whole thing about thick skin and being weak, it's just 0:09:56.720 --> 0:10:00.640 like I said, I mean, if you're struggling with something, 0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:02.320 just try it out. 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:06.320 Okay, So that's that's good to know. But let's back 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.920 all the way up. So let's say I'm feeling anxious, 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:13.600 I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is easy for me in my 0:10:13.679 --> 0:10:17.680 life because it's just a lot going on. Would your 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:24.560 recommendation be for me to first step seek therapy or 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:26.880 would you recommend I don't know, I go to the gym, 0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.880 I work out, I you know, drink a glass of 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:33.040 wine a night, Like what what? What are your steps 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.280 before therapy for somebody to think about or consider prior 0:10:38.320 --> 0:10:39.400 to going to therapy. 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:41.280 Sure, so here's the other thing too. When you talk 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:44.319 to a therapist, they're going to suggest things like that too. Okay, Right, 0:10:44.400 --> 0:10:47.800 it's not all about this. It has to be so 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:51.160 structured and so serious. It could just be doll, do 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.440 you have a schedule? Are you writing notes? Are you 0:10:53.800 --> 0:10:55.960 going to sleep at the right time? Like sometimes a 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.520 therapist is just suggesting normal things like make sure you 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:01.360 are going to the gym, make sure you are going 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:03.600 to bed on time, make sure you are drinking your 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:04.520 water every day. 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:04.839 Right. 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:09.200 So if you're not at that place where you're like, uh, okay, 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.240 I'm feeling anxious but I'm not quite ready, reach out 0:11:12.280 --> 0:11:14.640 to friends and family. Like that's what we do, right, 0:11:14.679 --> 0:11:16.880 We talk to our friends, we talk to our family. 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:21.200 Social media, although it has you know, it's pros and cons, 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.240 sometimes there's a lot of resources on social media as well. 0:11:24.320 --> 0:11:28.200 Right, Okay, listen, I'm sorry, sirup needle on the record. 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:28.839 Okay. 0:11:28.880 --> 0:11:30.800 If we're gonna go to social media to feel better 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.760 about ourselves, pros and cons, that is not. 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:41.800 Resources. Right. There are a lot of mental health Instagram pages, okay, Right, 0:11:41.880 --> 0:11:44.080 So it's not just the shade room. It's not just 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:46.679 shout out to the shade feral, you know, for entertainment. 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:50.280 But there are other pages that are about mental health 0:11:50.360 --> 0:11:54.560 and anxiety and motivational quotes and things like that. So again, 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.600 you know, pros and cons, but there's some resources on 0:11:58.640 --> 0:11:59.000 there as. 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:02.040 Well, okay, right, And I feel, you know, for some 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:05.360 people who are maybe embarrassed to talk about their struggles 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.840 or they don't want to be judged by you know, 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.559 their family members or their you know, friends or whatever 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:11.959 for what they're. 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:12.920 Thinking or they're feeling. 0:12:13.280 --> 0:12:17.000 I think the therapist is that great, you know, mutual 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:20.400 party that's not biased. They don't know you, they've seen 0:12:20.480 --> 0:12:20.800 it all. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:21.760 They're professional. 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.760 They're all about the privacy and the hip of laws 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:27.120 and all that type of stuff. So even for someone 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.199 it's like, if there's just anything that you're dealing with 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:33.200 in your life, whether it's just you know, a disagreement 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:36.559 with your sister or something, you know, a therapist is 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:39.800 always that neutral party that you can talk to that 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:42.800 you don't have to worry about being judged because that's 0:12:42.800 --> 0:12:45.360 what they do, right, you know. And it's unfortunate because 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:49.360 so many people live their lives and all they worry 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:52.000 about is being judged. So you know what I mean, 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:54.440 It's like they worry about what people think and whether 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:57.560 it's the way they look, they dress, their weight, you know, 0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:02.800 their job there whatever, or their relationships, like all they 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:04.840 care about is how they're being judged. 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:05.080 Right. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.120 I think a therapist is a neutral party that you 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:09.760 don't have to worry about that. 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:12.800 There's something special about that. So some people are like, well, 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:15.440 you're a stranger and I don't know you. But the 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:17.560 other hand, it's like, oh, you're a stranger and I 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.320 don't know you, oh, which means you don't know me, 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.760 which means I can say whatever I need to say 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:27.160 and be okay about it. So there is that definite like, Okay, 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:29.599 you don't know all of my background. I'm telling you 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:31.880 a little bit about myself and you can kind of 0:13:31.960 --> 0:13:35.600 chime in from that outside perspective. Think about when a 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.080 company needs, you know, just a shift or a chain, 0:13:38.160 --> 0:13:41.040 they hire an outside consultant, right. They don't talk to 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.720 people who are necessarily in the company. They're like, let's 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:46.880 go outside for someone who's like outside the box looking in. 0:13:47.760 --> 0:13:49.440 So that's what a therapist does for you. It's a 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:52.680 different perspective. It's someone that does not know you, and 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.439 it's just like, Okay, you're not going to see me 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:56.360 at the club. 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:59.319 You know, Oh, you're gonna see this therapist at the club. 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:03.319 But it's not I kind of I feel like a 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:09.160 lot of people feel that it's scary. Yeah, right, They're 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:12.520 really gonna sit down with somebody that's a professional that 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:15.960 knows what they're talking about, that knows when you lie 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:19.440 in and can call you on your shit. So that 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:21.760 means that you have to have a level of vulnerability 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:23.320 to even sign up for this. 0:14:23.720 --> 0:14:27.120 You do, you do, but in the very first conversation. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:29.360 I'm not going to sit here and ask you in 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.400 the very first conversation your deepest, darkest secret. Like, there's 0:14:32.400 --> 0:14:34.760 a method to how we do things right. It's like, 0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.680 let's get comfortable, let's build some rapport, let's get to 0:14:38.760 --> 0:14:41.520 know each other, and you'd be surprised, like once you 0:14:41.600 --> 0:14:43.560 kind of let your guard down a little bit, the 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.400 things that you say. I mean, I've had people say 0:14:45.400 --> 0:14:47.520 to me like, oh my god, I haven't told anybody this. 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:50.200 I can't believe I'm telling you this. Or you sit down, 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:51.960 you're just like, so, what's going on? And it's like 0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:53.920 tears and you're like, oh, you've been holding that in 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:56.520 for a while. So yeah, of course it is about 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:59.560 being vulnerable, but it's also for the therapist to kind 0:14:59.600 --> 0:15:02.320 of guide you and lead you and not start with 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.440 all right, tell me what what's going on? Well, come on, 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.320 why did you do that? Was no, Like, let's ease 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:10.360 into it, let's get comfortable, let's get to know each other. 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.200 Then third session, fourth session, fifth session. Then it's like, 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:15.920 all right, now I'm gonna call you out on your stuff. 0:15:21.680 --> 0:15:22.160 So interesting. 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:24.040 I'm looking through all the responses that we got and 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:26.840 they all are or not all, but a lot of them. 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.360 It's like the misconception or the things that they worry 0:15:29.360 --> 0:15:31.120 about is that there's something wrong with you or that 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:31.560 you're crazy. 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:32.600 It's so like I was. 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:36.440 Just really looking through these Is there something would you say? 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:40.680 What is like the most common reason someone comes to 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.240 you or seeks a therapist? 0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:43.480 Anxiety? 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:44.080 Yeah? 0:15:44.160 --> 0:15:47.080 Right, I think everybody has anxiety even before COVID. I 0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:49.120 don't think we named it as anxiety. I think it 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:50.960 was like I get stressed. 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:54.840 Out, so so and explain anxiety anxiety because that comes 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:56.000 in different forms. 0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:59.320 Very different forms. So is it like worry could be 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.680 worried a lot. Sure, it could be worry. It could 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.320 be worry about everything, or it could be worry about 0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.160 just something specific, right, Okay. 0:16:08.240 --> 0:16:09.760 It could be you have. 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.400 A need to control everything and you're just like, oh, 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.640 I'm just controlling, or I just like to know the plan, 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.200 I know what's going on at all times. That could 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:19.120 be a little bit of anxiety kind of creeping in, 0:16:19.280 --> 0:16:21.760 like I need to know what's going on so I 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.600 can get my mind right and then prepare for it. 0:16:24.920 --> 0:16:26.840 That's a little bit of anxiety there too, And that's 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.280 not a bad word. I don't want people to say, oh, 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.119 I have anxiety, and it's just like now we're labeling you. 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.680 You have this diagnosis, something's wrong with you. We're using 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.400 the word who we're talking about mental health. But if 0:16:37.400 --> 0:16:40.800 you want to say stressed, if you want to say overwhelmed, fine, 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:42.120 you know. I don't want to be like it's a 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:46.000 stigma to label, but yeah, it comes in different forms. 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:50.440 Well, I was just asking because people need to be 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.800 able to say to themselves when they are feeling whatever 0:16:53.920 --> 0:16:55.880 kind of way they're shoeing, they need to be able 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.760 to label it for themselves, right, as opposed to just 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:03.120 like wallowing in it or not knowing what direction to 0:17:03.200 --> 0:17:04.120 go to get out of it. 0:17:04.280 --> 0:17:04.560 Right. 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:06.919 They need to understand what's going on with themselves, right. 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:11.320 That's why I was like, an anxiety is never really explained. Yeah, 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:13.720 but you gave a good expansion. Yeah, it's not. 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.879 Always like a panic attack. Sometimes it is, right, but 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.359 it's not always that right. It's like I said, and 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:22.200 come out in different ways. It could be like I'm 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.520 not sleeping, well, I'm having bad dreams. You know, there's 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:28.960 a little like feeling in my chest or in my belly, 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:30.800 and I'm not really sure where that comes from. Every 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:32.280 time I'm about to go to work, I have this 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:35.000 like pitt in my stomach. So I like what you 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:36.879 said about just kind of paying attention to that and 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.720 seeing what that is, naming it and then take it 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:40.080 from there. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:40.600 Yeah. Right. 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:42.280 I almost think. 0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.560 You guys almost need to come up with an alternate 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.560 word that's not therapy or mental health, you know what 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:51.359 I mean, because like when you hear the word therapy, 0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:52.960 you think, Okay, there's something wrong with me and I 0:17:53.000 --> 0:17:56.280 need to be rehabilitated, right, or mental health you know 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.040 the whole. I'm crazy, I'm weak. So it's like I 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.320 wish they're like, what is another word that you all 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.560 could like start using so that people would know, like 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.879 you know, it's like almost like you're checking you know, 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:08.160 you're I don't. 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:09.360 I guess you start. 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:14.880 Using hearing the accountability accountability partner partner type stuff, but 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:16.560 not so much that, but more of like. 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:21.240 A check in cheers. Yeah, Like what can that be? 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:22.240 Because I can't. 0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:26.960 Exactly, because I think the word itself is what is 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:30.439 misleading for people. Sure, you know, sure, I don't know 0:18:30.440 --> 0:18:33.119 what those words could be because like I think, like 0:18:33.160 --> 0:18:35.640 I said, just personally, I'm like, I ain't nothing wrong 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:37.400 with me, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, I'm 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:41.760 busy and I'm stressed, but isn't wrong with me? You know. 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:46.040 So I think it's the actual word therapy that makes 0:18:46.080 --> 0:18:48.800 it sound like you know, there's something wrong with you 0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:52.440 versus you know, no, you just have a lot going on. 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:54.920 You need to check in, You need a balance, maybe like. 0:18:54.880 --> 0:19:01.160 A balance coach, a balance coach that yes, I want 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.000 to trademark that you might. 0:19:02.880 --> 0:19:05.880 Take that balance coach that. 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:07.640 That's good though, because that's what we do. We try 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:10.480 to keep everything in balance for you. Write a little 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.240 bit of this, a little bit of that. Yeah that's good. 0:19:13.400 --> 0:19:14.080 I like that. 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:15.680 Okay, I like that. Break that down. 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:17.239 Yep, you don't don't want to take that? 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.560 Yeah, I'll give you credit. 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:21.720 Yes, I'll give you credit for that. 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:24.760 So okay, we have just a couple more, a couple 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:29.439 more questions. Let's talk about how social media plays a 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.359 role in our mental health. 0:19:31.760 --> 0:19:34.440 We touched on it and Jaselle kind of was you know. 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:35.760 She has something to say. 0:19:35.920 --> 0:19:38.679 We need to take a little bit deeper because I 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:41.840 think it, don't you know, Yes, for people like Giselle 0:19:41.840 --> 0:19:44.639 and I who who are on a public platform, but 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:48.960 I know that it affects the everyday person, yes, you know, yes. 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.760 Okay, So, like I was saying pros and cons right, 0:19:52.320 --> 0:19:57.240 benefits of social media community, right, some sort of like 0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:03.720 online support, okay, motivation, messages, inspiration, things like that. Think 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:07.840 about during COVID TikTok was our friend, like during quarantine, 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:12.160 like the Internet stays undefeated, right, So like it provided 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:15.040