Speaker 1: Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect
Speaker 1: Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? This is Robin, one half of Reasonably Shady,
Speaker 1: and I am sorry to inform you but life has
Speaker 1: been lifing for us and we do not have a
Speaker 1: new episode for you today. However, we are going to
Speaker 1: replay a wonderful, amazing, important episode from season one called
Speaker 1: Mine Your Mental It is all about mental health. Of course,
Speaker 1: talking about mental health is always important while life is
Speaker 1: lifing for us and for most people around here. This
Speaker 1: is a great episode to listen to. We will be
Speaker 1: back promise next week with an all new episode. Thank
Speaker 1: you for loving us, for being patient, for understanding, but
Speaker 1: we will talk to you soon. All right, bye.
Speaker 3: A lot of times we don't talk about you know.
Speaker 3: We laugh, we giggle, we do, we do our thing.
Speaker 3: But you know, we definitely wanted to get to especially
Speaker 3: with the journey that Robin has been on, we wanted
Speaker 3: to get into some mental health. So we put a
Speaker 3: question out to you guys about the misconceptions of mental health.
Speaker 3: And this episode is called mind your Mentals. Okay, mind
Speaker 3: your mentals. And because I'm not an expert, Robin's not
Speaker 3: an expert. We did get an expert to come and
Speaker 3: chat with us today, and.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to introduce our guests, but just to
Speaker 1: talk about like this with the show, just me talking
Speaker 1: about how I was feeling during COVID or my seasonal depression. Honestly,
Speaker 1: I was floored by the response that I received from
Speaker 1: the viewers. YEA, for people who said, thank you so much,
Speaker 1: you verbalizing everything that I feel, you know, thank you
Speaker 1: for representing people like us, thank you for making me
Speaker 1: feel human. And so I've realized how important it is
Speaker 1: to talk about these you know, not just in your
Speaker 1: private home or in your you know, with your trusted confidante,
Speaker 1: but like, you know, in a public setting, to make
Speaker 1: people know that people like us who are on TV
Speaker 1: were human as well, and you know, just to make
Speaker 1: this forum, in this topic a little bit bigger, you know,
Speaker 1: so that people don't have to hesitate to talk about
Speaker 1: mental health.
Speaker 3: And also to make it not feel so taboo. You know,
Speaker 3: it's not a subject in which we can't talk about.
Speaker 3: We definitely need to talk about it, and we need
Speaker 3: to make it we need to normalize it a bit.
Speaker 3: So absolutely, please tell us who I guess it is.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to introduce our guests and then we're
Speaker 1: going to take a short pause, okay, because so, so,
Speaker 1: I just want to let you all know Gizelle and
Speaker 1: I will now be sharing a microphone. Since we are
Speaker 1: by residential, which means, you know, sometimes we record at
Speaker 1: Gazelle's house and sometimes we're at my house, we forget
Speaker 1: a piece of equipment, which would be called a third
Speaker 1: microphone for our guests. So once we introduce our guests,
Speaker 1: she's going to have one microphone, and then Giselle and
Speaker 1: I will share one. So it might sound a little wonky,
Speaker 1: but you know where you men, so bear with us,
Speaker 1: all right. So, Mirja Paul is the owner and clinical
Speaker 1: director of Soul Counseling and Consulting. Major received her Bachelor
Speaker 1: of Arts degree in psychology from the Pennsylvania State University
Speaker 1: and her Master of Science degree in Clinical Community Counseling
Speaker 1: from Johns Hopkins University Okay credentials. Marja is a licensed
Speaker 1: clinical professional counselor and is an approved clinical supervisor by
Speaker 1: the Maryland Board of Professional Counselors and Therapists. In April
Speaker 1: twenty twenty, Major opens Soul Counseling and Consulting, a group
Speaker 1: mental health practice that provides individual, family, and couples counseling.
Speaker 1: Mission is to decrease the stigma of mental health, particularly
Speaker 1: in communities of color. Her vision for the practice is
Speaker 1: to create a safe and supportive place for clients to
Speaker 1: feel comfortable, heard, and understood. Marriager's goal is to help
Speaker 1: people feel empowered to live, not merely exist or settle.
Speaker 1: She chose the name Soul because the sun is a
Speaker 1: daily reminder that we two can rise again from the darkness,
Speaker 1: that we too can shine our own light.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: And before I let Marriaga talk, I have to say something.
Speaker 1: Marja is the sister of Carly, who is our director
Speaker 1: of operations. Okay, so you all have heard us talk
Speaker 1: about Carly. Carly is the one that kind of like
Speaker 1: handles our logistics. She's helping us set up. She forgot
Speaker 1: to bring the third microphone.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I'm Joe, and Carly's also like my very good friend,
Speaker 1: Like you've seen Carly on the show, helping me out
Speaker 1: with a lot of my different ventures. But I just
Speaker 1: want to say this. I found it very comical. So
Speaker 1: I'm looking at our emails on the reason Reasonably Shady Emails.
Speaker 1: And I see this email from our director of Operations, Carly,
Speaker 1: to her sister Mirja that says, hello, miss Paul, we
Speaker 1: are I am writing to confirm your appearance on the
Speaker 1: Reasonably Shady podcast at If you have any questions, please
Speaker 1: forward them to me whatever, blah blah blah, sincerely Carly,
Speaker 1: the director of Operations. And I was like, what, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this girl is literally talking to her sister in a
Speaker 1: business manner. She takes her director of operations job very seriously.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I always dying if that was me and I was
Speaker 1: talking to my sister, I'd be like, hey, girl, we're
Speaker 1: gonna see you on Friday.
Speaker 3: At four o'clock, all right, peace?
Speaker 4: Like what? Yes, you gotta keep it professional at all times,
Speaker 4: But were you like sister No, I found it very professional,
Speaker 4: and I was I was very proud of her, like,
Speaker 4: I'm a professional woman. Don't talk to me like I'm
Speaker 4: some regular chick off the street business.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay. I did want to say that you're
Speaker 3: just soul counseling. It's spelled s o L, yes, not
Speaker 3: so s o U L. I thought that was like
Speaker 3: so like soul.
Speaker 4: Oh, but it isn't soul s o l.
Speaker 2: That's so that son in Spanish.
Speaker 4: That's so that sun in Spanish. It's also like the
Speaker 4: root word of like a lot of words with sun, solstice. Yes,
Speaker 4: sola and French, so you know, trying to go back
Speaker 4: to my my French roots and yes, but no one
Speaker 4: can say so lea. So I was just like, never mind,
Speaker 4: you just keep making us think yes.
Speaker 3: Okay, So getting into it. So with the misconceptions about
Speaker 3: mental health, a lot of people said that they feel
Speaker 3: like they're weak right when they go seek out counseling.
Speaker 3: They feel like they're quote crazy, like, you know, they
Speaker 3: don't want to feel like they have mental issues. What
Speaker 3: are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 4: So we get that a lot, right, And that's the
Speaker 4: whole thing about the stigma and how you were saying,
Speaker 4: Robin about like making it, you know, just more normal
Speaker 4: normalizing it. Right. So back in the day, it was
Speaker 4: for quote unquote crazy people, right, it was for severe
Speaker 4: mental health issues. They would go to the you know,
Speaker 4: psychiatric hospital and things like that. And I don't know
Speaker 4: if we've really changed from that. We're changing, you know,
Speaker 4: but it feels like, do you wait until like your
Speaker 4: arm is about to fall off before you go to
Speaker 4: the doctor. It's like, are you weak for going to
Speaker 4: your regular doctor for your regular checkups? No? So I
Speaker 4: feel like we take care of our body, you should
Speaker 4: also take care of our mind. So that idea about
Speaker 4: it being for weak people or just for crazy people.
Speaker 4: And you know, as a therapist, we don't like to
Speaker 4: use the word crazy, but no, I feel like there
Speaker 4: are a lot of different issues that people have and
Speaker 4: don't wait until it's too late or you're super struggling
Speaker 4: with something before you go talk to somebody.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I'm sorry. A lot of people used crazy, right,
Speaker 3: and that's what they said, Like I'm gonna feel crazy.
Speaker 3: That's for crazy people. So what word should we be
Speaker 3: using because I don't feel comfortable using that word.
Speaker 4: Sure, just say how you feel, right, So like if
Speaker 4: you say I'm gonna feel crazy for going or do
Speaker 4: you feel like a crazy person? If you feel like
Speaker 4: a crazy person, and that's your word to use, Okay,
Speaker 4: but you can say I'm feeling really anxious, I'm feeling
Speaker 4: really overwhelmed. Okay, I feel like I just got to
Speaker 4: get like would you say on the show Rob and
Speaker 4: get my life together, Like you just say how you feel.
Speaker 4: You don't have to just go to the word crazy,
Speaker 4: just say how you're feeling.
Speaker 1: I like that. Okay, So when would you say, like,
Speaker 1: is there a point when people should know like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to go talk to someone because I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with me. Can I consider myself to be a
Speaker 1: very thick skin person. I'm very like, Okay, you know,
Speaker 1: life isn't perfect, you know, suck it up, move on,
Speaker 1: it's in And I probably don't spend the time to
Speaker 1: kind of like really sit back and check in with myself.
Speaker 1: And so for you know, people like me or even
Speaker 1: other people who kind of just you know, have this
Speaker 1: stigma in their mind about mental health, when do you say, like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to now, I need to go talk to someone.
Speaker 2: I need to check in.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's just like, whatever you're doing hasn't been working.
Speaker 4: So if whatever you're doing is not working, then you
Speaker 4: try something different. Sometimes it's therapy, sometimes it's something totally different.
Speaker 4: But if you're feeling like, oh my gosh, I've been
Speaker 4: dealing with this for a long time and whatever I'm
Speaker 4: doing is not working, be open to trying something different
Speaker 4: and therapy is not for everybody, but you could try
Speaker 4: it and see if that works for you. But the
Speaker 4: whole thing about thick skin and being weak, it's just
Speaker 4: like I said, I mean, if you're struggling with something,
Speaker 4: just try it out.
Speaker 3: Okay, So that's that's good to know. But let's back
Speaker 3: all the way up. So let's say I'm feeling anxious,
Speaker 3: I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is easy for me in my
Speaker 3: life because it's just a lot going on. Would your
Speaker 3: recommendation be for me to first step seek therapy or
Speaker 3: would you recommend I don't know, I go to the gym,
Speaker 3: I work out, I you know, drink a glass of
Speaker 3: wine a night, Like what what? What are your steps
Speaker 3: before therapy for somebody to think about or consider prior
Speaker 3: to going to therapy.
Speaker 4: Sure, so here's the other thing too. When you talk
Speaker 4: to a therapist, they're going to suggest things like that too. Okay, Right,
Speaker 4: it's not all about this. It has to be so
Speaker 4: structured and so serious. It could just be doll, do
Speaker 4: you have a schedule? Are you writing notes? Are you
Speaker 4: going to sleep at the right time? Like sometimes a
Speaker 4: therapist is just suggesting normal things like make sure you
Speaker 4: are going to the gym, make sure you are going
Speaker 4: to bed on time, make sure you are drinking your
Speaker 4: water every day.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: So if you're not at that place where you're like, uh, okay,
Speaker 4: I'm feeling anxious but I'm not quite ready, reach out
Speaker 4: to friends and family. Like that's what we do, right,
Speaker 4: We talk to our friends, we talk to our family.
Speaker 4: Social media, although it has you know, it's pros and cons,
Speaker 4: sometimes there's a lot of resources on social media as well.
Speaker 3: Right, Okay, listen, I'm sorry, sirup needle on the record.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: If we're gonna go to social media to feel better
Speaker 3: about ourselves, pros and cons, that is not.
Speaker 4: Resources. Right. There are a lot of mental health Instagram pages, okay, Right,
Speaker 4: So it's not just the shade room. It's not just
Speaker 4: shout out to the shade feral, you know, for entertainment.
Speaker 4: But there are other pages that are about mental health
Speaker 4: and anxiety and motivational quotes and things like that. So again,
Speaker 4: you know, pros and cons, but there's some resources on
Speaker 4: there as.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, right, And I feel, you know, for some
Speaker 1: people who are maybe embarrassed to talk about their struggles
Speaker 1: or they don't want to be judged by you know,
Speaker 1: their family members or their you know, friends or whatever
Speaker 1: for what they're.
Speaker 2: Thinking or they're feeling.
Speaker 1: I think the therapist is that great, you know, mutual
Speaker 1: party that's not biased. They don't know you, they've seen
Speaker 1: it all.
Speaker 2: They're professional.
Speaker 1: They're all about the privacy and the hip of laws
Speaker 1: and all that type of stuff. So even for someone
Speaker 1: it's like, if there's just anything that you're dealing with
Speaker 1: in your life, whether it's just you know, a disagreement
Speaker 1: with your sister or something, you know, a therapist is
Speaker 1: always that neutral party that you can talk to that
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about being judged because that's
Speaker 1: what they do, right, you know. And it's unfortunate because
Speaker 1: so many people live their lives and all they worry
Speaker 1: about is being judged. So you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: It's like they worry about what people think and whether
Speaker 1: it's the way they look, they dress, their weight, you know,
Speaker 1: their job there whatever, or their relationships, like all they
Speaker 1: care about is how they're being judged.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: I think a therapist is a neutral party that you
Speaker 1: don't have to worry about that.
Speaker 4: There's something special about that. So some people are like, well,
Speaker 4: you're a stranger and I don't know you. But the
Speaker 4: other hand, it's like, oh, you're a stranger and I
Speaker 4: don't know you, oh, which means you don't know me,
Speaker 4: which means I can say whatever I need to say
Speaker 4: and be okay about it. So there is that definite like, Okay,
Speaker 4: you don't know all of my background. I'm telling you
Speaker 4: a little bit about myself and you can kind of
Speaker 4: chime in from that outside perspective. Think about when a
Speaker 4: company needs, you know, just a shift or a chain,
Speaker 4: they hire an outside consultant, right. They don't talk to
Speaker 4: people who are necessarily in the company. They're like, let's
Speaker 4: go outside for someone who's like outside the box looking in.
Speaker 4: So that's what a therapist does for you. It's a
Speaker 4: different perspective. It's someone that does not know you, and
Speaker 4: it's just like, Okay, you're not going to see me
Speaker 4: at the club.
Speaker 3: You know, Oh, you're gonna see this therapist at the club.
Speaker 3: But it's not I kind of I feel like a
Speaker 3: lot of people feel that it's scary. Yeah, right, They're
Speaker 3: really gonna sit down with somebody that's a professional that
Speaker 3: knows what they're talking about, that knows when you lie
Speaker 3: in and can call you on your shit. So that
Speaker 3: means that you have to have a level of vulnerability
Speaker 3: to even sign up for this.
Speaker 4: You do, you do, but in the very first conversation.
Speaker 4: I'm not going to sit here and ask you in
Speaker 4: the very first conversation your deepest, darkest secret. Like, there's
Speaker 4: a method to how we do things right. It's like,
Speaker 4: let's get comfortable, let's build some rapport, let's get to
Speaker 4: know each other, and you'd be surprised, like once you
Speaker 4: kind of let your guard down a little bit, the
Speaker 4: things that you say. I mean, I've had people say
Speaker 4: to me like, oh my god, I haven't told anybody this.
Speaker 4: I can't believe I'm telling you this. Or you sit down,
Speaker 4: you're just like, so, what's going on? And it's like
Speaker 4: tears and you're like, oh, you've been holding that in
Speaker 4: for a while. So yeah, of course it is about
Speaker 4: being vulnerable, but it's also for the therapist to kind
Speaker 4: of guide you and lead you and not start with
Speaker 4: all right, tell me what what's going on? Well, come on,
Speaker 4: why did you do that? Was no, Like, let's ease
Speaker 4: into it, let's get comfortable, let's get to know each other.
Speaker 4: Then third session, fourth session, fifth session. Then it's like,
Speaker 4: all right, now I'm gonna call you out on your stuff.
Speaker 2: So interesting.
Speaker 1: I'm looking through all the responses that we got and
Speaker 1: they all are or not all, but a lot of them.
Speaker 1: It's like the misconception or the things that they worry
Speaker 1: about is that there's something wrong with you or that
Speaker 1: you're crazy.
Speaker 2: It's so like I was.
Speaker 1: Just really looking through these Is there something would you say?
Speaker 1: What is like the most common reason someone comes to
Speaker 1: you or seeks a therapist?
Speaker 4: Anxiety?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Right, I think everybody has anxiety even before COVID. I
Speaker 4: don't think we named it as anxiety. I think it
Speaker 4: was like I get stressed.
Speaker 3: Out, so so and explain anxiety anxiety because that comes
Speaker 3: in different forms.
Speaker 4: Very different forms. So is it like worry could be
Speaker 4: worried a lot. Sure, it could be worry. It could
Speaker 4: be worry about everything, or it could be worry about
Speaker 4: just something specific, right, Okay.
Speaker 2: It could be you have.
Speaker 4: A need to control everything and you're just like, oh,
Speaker 4: I'm just controlling, or I just like to know the plan,
Speaker 4: I know what's going on at all times. That could
Speaker 4: be a little bit of anxiety kind of creeping in,
Speaker 4: like I need to know what's going on so I
Speaker 4: can get my mind right and then prepare for it.
Speaker 4: That's a little bit of anxiety there too, And that's
Speaker 4: not a bad word. I don't want people to say, oh,
Speaker 4: I have anxiety, and it's just like now we're labeling you.
Speaker 4: You have this diagnosis, something's wrong with you. We're using
Speaker 4: the word who we're talking about mental health. But if
Speaker 4: you want to say stressed, if you want to say overwhelmed, fine,
Speaker 4: you know. I don't want to be like it's a
Speaker 4: stigma to label, but yeah, it comes in different forms.
Speaker 3: Well, I was just asking because people need to be
Speaker 3: able to say to themselves when they are feeling whatever
Speaker 3: kind of way they're shoeing, they need to be able
Speaker 3: to label it for themselves, right, as opposed to just
Speaker 3: like wallowing in it or not knowing what direction to
Speaker 3: go to get out of it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 3: They need to understand what's going on with themselves, right.
Speaker 3: That's why I was like, an anxiety is never really explained. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you gave a good expansion. Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 4: Always like a panic attack. Sometimes it is, right, but
Speaker 4: it's not always that right. It's like I said, and
Speaker 4: come out in different ways. It could be like I'm
Speaker 4: not sleeping, well, I'm having bad dreams. You know, there's
Speaker 4: a little like feeling in my chest or in my belly,
Speaker 4: and I'm not really sure where that comes from. Every
Speaker 4: time I'm about to go to work, I have this
Speaker 4: like pitt in my stomach. So I like what you
Speaker 4: said about just kind of paying attention to that and
Speaker 4: seeing what that is, naming it and then take it
Speaker 4: from there.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2: I almost think.
Speaker 1: You guys almost need to come up with an alternate
Speaker 1: word that's not therapy or mental health, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, because like when you hear the word therapy,
Speaker 1: you think, Okay, there's something wrong with me and I
Speaker 1: need to be rehabilitated, right, or mental health you know
Speaker 1: the whole. I'm crazy, I'm weak. So it's like I
Speaker 1: wish they're like, what is another word that you all
Speaker 1: could like start using so that people would know, like
Speaker 1: you know, it's like almost like you're checking you know,
Speaker 1: you're I don't.
Speaker 2: I guess you start.
Speaker 1: Using hearing the accountability accountability partner partner type stuff, but
Speaker 1: not so much that, but more of like.
Speaker 2: A check in cheers. Yeah, Like what can that be?
Speaker 2: Because I can't.
Speaker 1: Exactly, because I think the word itself is what is
Speaker 1: misleading for people. Sure, you know, sure, I don't know
Speaker 1: what those words could be because like I think, like
Speaker 1: I said, just personally, I'm like, I ain't nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with me, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: busy and I'm stressed, but isn't wrong with me? You know.
Speaker 1: So I think it's the actual word therapy that makes
Speaker 1: it sound like you know, there's something wrong with you
Speaker 1: versus you know, no, you just have a lot going on.
Speaker 1: You need to check in, You need a balance, maybe like.
Speaker 4: A balance coach, a balance coach that yes, I want
Speaker 4: to trademark that you might.
Speaker 3: Take that balance coach that.
Speaker 4: That's good though, because that's what we do. We try
Speaker 4: to keep everything in balance for you. Write a little
Speaker 4: bit of this, a little bit of that. Yeah that's good.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 4: Okay, I like that. Break that down.
Speaker 2: Yep, you don't don't want to take that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll give you credit.
Speaker 2: Yes, I'll give you credit for that.
Speaker 1: So okay, we have just a couple more, a couple
Speaker 1: more questions. Let's talk about how social media plays a
Speaker 1: role in our mental health.
Speaker 4: We touched on it and Jaselle kind of was you know.
Speaker 3: She has something to say.
Speaker 1: We need to take a little bit deeper because I
Speaker 1: think it, don't you know, Yes, for people like Giselle
Speaker 1: and I who who are on a public platform, but
Speaker 1: I know that it affects the everyday person, yes, you know, yes.
Speaker 4: Okay, So, like I was saying pros and cons right,
Speaker 4: benefits of social media community, right, some sort of like
Speaker 4: online support, okay, motivation, messages, inspiration, things like that. Think
Speaker 4: about during COVID TikTok was our friend, like during quarantine,
Speaker 4: like the Internet stays undefeated, right, So like it provided
Speaker 4: comic relief in such a stressful time. It was nice
Speaker 4: to just go and see memes and do these TikTok
Speaker 4: challenges and things like that. Right, So social media can
Speaker 4: be our friend. It could be nice, it could be
Speaker 4: a good thing.
Speaker 1: But if my TikTok didn't get as many views as
Speaker 1: your TikTok, I'm not I took no.
Speaker 4: I'm glad you asked, because I was thinking.
Speaker 3: And then there's also the issue of you're literally just
Speaker 3: looking at filtered pictures absolutely, which can mess with your mind. Yes,
Speaker 3: you know what your body looks like in a real mirror,
Speaker 3: with no filters, and then you're comparing yourself to these
Speaker 3: images that you've seen all day that are perfect and
Speaker 3: that's not reality, right, So like, how mentally are we
Speaker 3: able to handle that?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 4: I always say that too, take a break. You don't
Speaker 4: have to be on social media all day. If you're
Speaker 4: on it and you're feeling like this is not feeding
Speaker 4: my soul, this is not making me happy, then take
Speaker 4: a break, or you know what, start on following certain things.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you follow pages and you're always cute for that moment,
Speaker 4: and then you're like, you know what, I don't I
Speaker 4: don't want to hear about all this gossip. I don't
Speaker 4: want to hear about what's going on, or even like
Speaker 4: when the police brutality stuff was happening, that's it's just
Speaker 4: too much. Like you're allowed to say this is too much.
Speaker 4: I can't deal with this right now, and I'm shutting
Speaker 4: this down right or I also think it's okay to
Speaker 4: like see things on social media and realize that, you
Speaker 4: know what, maybe maybe not today. So let's just say
Speaker 4: like Mother's Day or Father's Day posts, what if you
Speaker 4: have a tumultuous relationship with your parents or they're not
Speaker 4: here right, So it's just like on that Sunday and
Speaker 4: Mother's Day, don't don't don't do that to yourself, like
Speaker 4: pay attention to what you actually need. And it's not
Speaker 4: you being a hater. It's not you like, oh, I
Speaker 4: don't want to hear about all these No, just like
Speaker 4: it's okay. Or if you're like I don't know, if
Speaker 4: you're trying to conceive and you're having trouble conceiving and
Speaker 4: all you're seeing is all these baby posts, right, it's
Speaker 4: like that doesn't happen in that way where it's just like,
Speaker 4: how come all of a sudden everybody everybody's right COVID babies, right.
Speaker 4: But it's like it's okay to say, you know what,
Speaker 4: I'm happy for you and I'm also sad for me.
Speaker 4: You can have two feelings at the same time.
Speaker 3: So is it okay to just like straight up be selfish, yes,
Speaker 3: and and think about what you need as opposed to
Speaker 3: what everybody expects of you.
Speaker 4: Yes, please be selfish. Selfish is not a bad word.
Speaker 4: It's not a curse word. It's not a bad word.
Speaker 4: And even when we're thinking about going to therapy that
Speaker 4: is one hour usually one hour to yourself right where
Speaker 4: you don't have to worry about I'm monopolizing this conversation.
Speaker 4: I didn't ask how she was doing. You know, I
Speaker 4: talk to my friends all the time, and it could
Speaker 4: be like a two hour conversation because the first hour
Speaker 4: is catch me up on your stuff. Okay, is it
Speaker 4: my turn? Okay, now let's go. It's just like sometimes
Speaker 4: you just want to be like, girl, right, let me
Speaker 4: tell you what happened. But your therapist is there to
Speaker 4: be like it's all about you, Yes, all about you.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: That's a great point because there I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you are like sometimes with a group of friends,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, okay, I'm gonna listen.
Speaker 2: I don't want it.
Speaker 1: To be about me, right, and then everyone else is talking,
Speaker 1: and then and then it turns into like, well, you
Speaker 1: don't share nothing.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's just like but but I'm like, but I'm listening.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, you when we listen when we talk.
Speaker 1: And then so I I always feel like I'm a listener,
Speaker 1: Like I don't really not that I don't share, but
Speaker 1: I recognize that other people maybe have the need to
Speaker 1: get something off of their chest more than I do. Sure,
Speaker 1: you know, but but then but then there are times
Speaker 1: when it's like, well, damn, I didn't share anything.
Speaker 2: So right, Yeah, so so that is true.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, even if you have a great
Speaker 1: group of friends or support systems, sometimes you can't get
Speaker 1: it all out to them because it's not enough time
Speaker 1: or because you know, people cut you off or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then social media, like what about the people who
Speaker 1: will like post a picture using like a fake background,
Speaker 1: like they'll like pretend like they're like traveling all the
Speaker 1: jack Yes, like how do we get them to stop
Speaker 1: you in their life?
Speaker 4: That is a little bit beyond what I do for
Speaker 4: my work. But but just acknowledging that too, right, acknowledging
Speaker 4: that this you know, what social media is like, Yeah,
Speaker 4: come into it knowing this is entertainment. This is what
Speaker 4: it's for. And yes, the constantly comparing yourself and all
Speaker 4: that stuff, just be mindful of like, like you said,
Speaker 4: it's filtered. People are only showing their best life, right,
Speaker 4: They're living their best life on social media, yes, and
Speaker 4: just kind of keep that in mind that no one's
Speaker 4: going to share. Well, some people are, but most people
Speaker 4: don't share I'm downtrodden and I'm going through. No, they're
Speaker 4: gonna share the smiley face. They're gonna share. You know,
Speaker 4: I'm here, I'm there, I'm jet setting knowing. Damn well,
Speaker 4: maybe like their credit cards back stout because they can
Speaker 4: do this, right, We don't know, We don't know that,
Speaker 4: We don't know what's behind the scenes.
Speaker 3: Right, speaking of broke broke, your therapists, we have, we
Speaker 3: have heard and we have found that are very expensive
Speaker 3: out here in these streets.
Speaker 4: Glad you brought that up.
Speaker 3: And you know, earlier in this conversation you said that
Speaker 3: you're gonna get to know the people that you are counseling.
Speaker 3: So you're not gonna get into that business until like,
Speaker 3: I don't know session four, and I didn't paid you
Speaker 3: for session one, two and three. So how you know
Speaker 3: for your everyday person that you know might not be
Speaker 3: able to afford you? Guys, you know what do you
Speaker 3: say to that?
Speaker 4: So people sometimes don't realize that you're insurance most of
Speaker 4: your insurance companies pay for therapy. Oh really, yeah, I
Speaker 4: don't That is I'm so glad you brought this up
Speaker 4: because this is really a misconception. People are just like
Speaker 4: so how does this work?
Speaker 3: But give us a range of like an hour session?
Speaker 4: All right? Now, everybody's different, right, and somebody who's you know,
Speaker 4: counseling a real house wife might charge something you know high,
Speaker 4: just kidding, just getting price Goalgee, people are different, right,
Speaker 4: depends on your level of credentials. It depends on where
Speaker 4: your market is. New York probably charges more than Alabama.
Speaker 3: Right to it, get it, Give us the range. Get
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 4: The range is I would say a hundred to up
Speaker 4: to one hundred to two hundred. It could be the range.
Speaker 3: Per session person, which is like an hour.
Speaker 4: Which is like an hour. Now, think about when you
Speaker 4: use health insurance, whatever plan you have, it's a cope.
Speaker 4: Anytime you see a specialist, your insurance company pays, I
Speaker 4: don't know, eighty percent, you pay, twenty percent, you come in,
Speaker 4: you pay your ten dollars copay. You don't know where
Speaker 4: the rest of it goes. Somebody's paying these people.
Speaker 3: So are all of you all taking insurance?
Speaker 4: Not all of us? So if you are, you know,
Speaker 4: feeling like oh this is steep, go through your insurance.
Speaker 4: Find somebody who accepts your insurance.
Speaker 3: I didn't I know that, right, I think it was
Speaker 3: out of pocket.
Speaker 1: You know, I can be doesn't have to be right, right,
Speaker 1: And I would see that, you know, when I hit
Speaker 1: jobs and they would send, you know, the packet of
Speaker 1: the health insurance stuff, and I would see that in there.
Speaker 1: But I just always felt like, I don't need that,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, but I think, honestly,
Speaker 1: if it's there and it's provided to you, and if
Speaker 1: you're someone like me who thinks you don't need therapy
Speaker 1: because you're fine, like still take advantage of it, but
Speaker 1: you should normally be in your regular right just like
Speaker 1: just you go to dermatologists, you go to the chiropractor
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, like you just you use your
Speaker 1: health insurance.
Speaker 4: It's the same thing.
Speaker 1: So how often, I mean, I guess it really varies
Speaker 1: based on what's going on. And but like how frequently
Speaker 1: should people just say, for someone like, you know, like
Speaker 1: just people feeling anxiety, they're stressed, you know, how often
Speaker 1: do you.
Speaker 2: Think they should come to them mostole.
Speaker 4: Balance their balance their balance coach? Most people start once
Speaker 4: a week. Okay, that's kind of your typical forty five
Speaker 4: to sixty minutes once a week. That's kind of tip
Speaker 4: for most people. Sometimes though, it's like, like you said,
Speaker 4: it's just kind of like I need to check in.
Speaker 4: I just need to just you know, make sure that
Speaker 4: I'm on the right path, that I'm doing what I'm
Speaker 4: supposed to be doing. You know, every two weeks. I
Speaker 4: have clients now that are like on maintenance, so to speak.
Speaker 4: And they started seeing me once a week and then
Speaker 4: it was like, okay, every other and it's like, you're
Speaker 4: doing pretty good, but you still kind of want me
Speaker 4: around just in case. Once a month, I had somebody
Speaker 4: call the other days and be like, hey, I haven't
Speaker 4: seen you in a while. I'm like, are you doing okay?
Speaker 4: Everything's fine? Okay, O good? Sure, come on in you
Speaker 4: want to chat.
Speaker 3: Sure, that's what I'm gonna start doing what I'm going
Speaker 3: once a month. Oh really, I find somebody. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean I feel like we just gonna talk.
Speaker 1: You might as well, you might learn something about yourself.
Speaker 3: I have insurance, right is great?
Speaker 2: Now, what about like couples?
Speaker 3: I'm so GLADKA before you answer that question, let me
Speaker 3: just say this. Yes, I've been in some major couples therapy, y'all.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying to years and years of couple's therapy
Speaker 3: me and that Jamal Bryant now listen. It always helped
Speaker 3: us really, Yes, you know, he is a is a
Speaker 3: I think he's trained per his profession to counsel, right.
Speaker 3: So I always felt like we can't just have a
Speaker 3: regular conversation if we haven't a problem, because you know
Speaker 3: all the tricks, so we need to go to somebody else.
Speaker 3: And I was always just very happy because you know,
Speaker 3: he's a black man and he was open to it.
Speaker 3: But it always did push us to like another level.
Speaker 3: So I'm an advocate of couple's therapy. I just want
Speaker 3: to say that, and.
Speaker 1: I'll just share my experience. While Wann and I were married,
Speaker 1: or even before we got married, he was like, I
Speaker 1: don't need anyone to tell me how to feel or
Speaker 1: what to think or what to do. So I think
Speaker 1: you know a lot of times in couples therapy, it's
Speaker 1: there's a resistance from one partner that just thinks like
Speaker 1: this cannot help this. They're like, I don't, like, what
Speaker 1: can they tell me that I don't already know.
Speaker 4: I'm glad you said the because no one's telling you
Speaker 4: how to feel feel how you feel, I'm not telling
Speaker 4: you how to feel. I might be exploring with you,
Speaker 4: what's behind that feeling? Where did that come from? Even
Speaker 4: just basic communication, right, you think you're speaking the same language,
Speaker 4: and it's just like, that's not what she said. Did
Speaker 4: you hear what she said? Oh, that's not what he said.
Speaker 4: So couple's therapy. It's just like, can you guys please
Speaker 4: start coming before you're about to divorce? Okay?
Speaker 3: So I just no, I totally agree with that. And
Speaker 3: I feel like, if you're gonna get married, you should
Speaker 3: go before you get married. Absolutely, because the whole time
Speaker 3: y'all been dating, y'all haven't been talking the same language.
Speaker 3: Y'all don't know what y'all talking about. Y'all. It's always
Speaker 3: good to get like a third party or like a
Speaker 3: bird's eye view on the relationship. I agree, And I
Speaker 3: feel like if you don't do that work in the beginning,
Speaker 3: you damn sure you're gonna have to do it in
Speaker 3: the end. Yeah, or it's just gonna be over.
Speaker 4: I think you're forced to talk about certain topics. Right.
Speaker 4: You could be dating someone for four years. I know him,
Speaker 4: I know him, I met his mama, we went on
Speaker 4: vacation together, I know how he travels. We talk about
Speaker 4: everything and it's just like, but there's that one thing
Speaker 4: that you not really comfortable saying because it might rock
Speaker 4: the boat or whatever the case may be. You come
Speaker 4: to therapy and it's kind of like the therapist might
Speaker 4: just bring it up and you're like, oh, I guess
Speaker 4: we got to talk about it, right. So I'm definitely
Speaker 4: an advocate for premarital yes, but yeah, I feel like
Speaker 4: same thing when we're talking about you know, when should
Speaker 4: people go to therapy, it's like, please don't come when
Speaker 4: you're at your wits end and your bag is packed
Speaker 4: and you have one foot out the door. You're like,
Speaker 4: you know what the last before I can just check
Speaker 4: off this box to say I tried everything. Fine, let's
Speaker 4: go to the therapist. So when they go, yeah, so
Speaker 4: when do they go, you should go again. You should
Speaker 4: go before you get married. Because I am a therapist.
Speaker 4: I'm like, just go, just go when you don't even
Speaker 4: have a problem, just go to check in and we good,
Speaker 4: We're still good, everything good, You still like me, I
Speaker 4: still like you great? And then you move on right,
Speaker 4: not saying it has to be weekly, but if you're
Speaker 4: feeling like, you know, when you can tell something's off right,
Speaker 4: you're not connecting as much. Maybe the intimacy has been affected.
Speaker 4: You know, there's a lot of change that has happened.
Speaker 4: Like you know, when you feel a little bit off right,
Speaker 4: same thing like with your health, you're like, you know what,
Speaker 4: something just not right. So that's when you I'm gonna
Speaker 4: call my doctor and see, like what's going on. Like
Speaker 4: I feel like, for example, I just want to nutrition this.
Speaker 4: I'm like, something's not right. My blood shir goes up
Speaker 4: and goes down. I have a headache. I don't like
Speaker 4: feeling like this anymore. I don't like having a headache
Speaker 4: every day. I don't know what it is, but maybe
Speaker 4: you can tell me what's going on. I'm not gonna
Speaker 4: wait till I'm like I can't get out the bed.
Speaker 4: I'm crawling to the car to be like I gotta
Speaker 4: take myself to the doctor. It's like no, Like you
Speaker 4: start feeling like something not right, we need a little
Speaker 4: check in. We make sure well this is still good
Speaker 4: so it can keep going and things don't just fester right,
Speaker 4: Like how many couples do you know where it's it's like, yeah,
Speaker 4: I've been dealing with this for years and I just
Speaker 4: didn't know how to say it or I've said it
Speaker 4: and this person's not listening to me. It's just like, Wow,
Speaker 4: I wonder if we have sat down and talked about
Speaker 4: this five years ago, could all of this been of right?
Speaker 1: Right? And clearly, I'm sure the main issue that you
Speaker 1: see is like the root cause of problems between couples
Speaker 1: is communication, absolutely, and so the therapist or the balance
Speaker 1: coach helps facilitate that communication absolutely.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So that's that's good. You know, I'll keep
Speaker 2: that in mind.
Speaker 3: We're gonna recap a little bit. This is what I've
Speaker 3: learned today. One, you can go through your insurance to
Speaker 3: get this thing paid. So if you can go through
Speaker 3: your insurance, why wouldn't you do it right? You know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Like, and as you said, it is
Speaker 3: kind of a noe brainer. If you had a sore throat,
Speaker 3: your nose is running, you go into the doctor. So
Speaker 3: if you feel like you're waking up every morning and
Speaker 3: you're like in a funk, don't nobody at work want
Speaker 3: to deal with your funk, So get it together.
Speaker 4: And your friends don't want to either. We love our friends,
Speaker 4: but you don't want to be a burden to your friends.
Speaker 1: Either, because your friends are busy, you know, so have
Speaker 1: their own stuff, right, And a lot of people hesitate
Speaker 1: to even talk to their friends or their loved ones
Speaker 1: because they know, oh, she's busy. I don't want to
Speaker 1: bother her. So now, but okay, so let's talk about
Speaker 1: then the process of finding a therapist. And then I
Speaker 1: just want to Okay, yes, we it's covered by insurance,
Speaker 1: but what about people who don't have insurance too? Are there, like,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe some sort of community resources that they
Speaker 1: can find.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, there's always some sort of program in the community
Speaker 4: for people who don't have insurance, or some sort of
Speaker 4: sliding scale fee. You know, there are resources out there, right.
Speaker 4: So psychology today, for example, has a directory of providers
Speaker 4: where you can filter by what your insurance is, or
Speaker 4: filter by if you don't have insurance, or gender, or
Speaker 4: you know, it's okay to have certain preferences. Therapy for
Speaker 4: black girls, I think, is a good one if you're
Speaker 4: looking specifically for a therapist of color. What is that
Speaker 4: They have an IG page, They have a website. It's
Speaker 4: basically a provider directory. Okay, so you can go on
Speaker 4: there to say if you if you are a black girl,
Speaker 4: or if you want to talk to a black girl,
Speaker 4: you can go on there and locate someone. Okay, there
Speaker 4: are a lots of resources. Again, you would do to insurance.
Speaker 4: For example, your insurance company will give you a list
Speaker 4: of providers that's say cover.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I have come across betterhelp dot Com, which I
Speaker 1: think is awesome because it's because it's like a virtual
Speaker 1: balance coaching, right, virtual therapy. You can do it, you know,
Speaker 1: I think by the telephone or by zoom or whatever
Speaker 1: your method of you know, preferred communication is. And I
Speaker 1: think that's kind of good for people, you know, kind of.
Speaker 2: Like me, who I don't like to leave the house.
Speaker 1: Sure, so for me, if if it's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to therapy, I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I gotta leave the house and go.
Speaker 2: Sit in the room.
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah. So I also think that's cool
Speaker 1: to find, you know, if that's what works for you,
Speaker 1: look up online therapy.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, because of COVID, a lot of us are doing telehealth,
Speaker 4: a lot of us are doing virtual therapy. And I'm
Speaker 4: so glad this kind of came out because obviously pandemic
Speaker 4: was not a good thing. But I think It also
Speaker 4: taught us we can do things in a different way. Right,
Speaker 4: How many of us are now working remotely because it's like, oh,
Speaker 4: y'all can't work remote Well, actually we can, right, because
Speaker 4: we had to so we kind of figured that out.
Speaker 4: But that's what we found when I started the company.
Speaker 4: We got so many referrals because it was just like,
Speaker 4: you know, especially living in this area, by the time
Speaker 4: you get off the metro and get in your car
Speaker 4: and all this stuff, it's just like.
Speaker 2: You're stressed out.
Speaker 4: You're stressed out right, But now it's like, Okay, I work,
Speaker 4: got anxibe, you got the anxiety, you know, I work
Speaker 4: nine to five. At five point fifteen, I can log
Speaker 4: onto my virtual therapist right in the comfort of my home.
Speaker 2: So are you doing telehealth?
Speaker 4: I am doing telehealth? So we're doing both.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I.
Speaker 1: Think you should You should tell people where they if
Speaker 1: they say I want to talk to me or Japaul
Speaker 1: because I heard her unreasonably shady and she sounds so balancing.
Speaker 4: So balancing. Well, I will say this because I am
Speaker 4: now a CEO and a clinical director and all that
Speaker 4: good stuff.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 4: I actually I don't I don't want any more clients. However,
Speaker 4: the what's she saying?
Speaker 3: She's busy? I'm a little busy.
Speaker 4: Now I'm a little I'm a little busy. However, I
Speaker 4: have an awesome team of therapists who work at my practice.
Speaker 3: So how do they find your team?
Speaker 4: So we have an i G page at SOL Counseling,
Speaker 4: So OL Counseling. We have a website and we can
Speaker 4: give you all the information www dot s O L
Speaker 4: Counseling and Consulting dot com. Which my sister the d
Speaker 4: O O a k A Carly, a k A. Robin's friend,
Speaker 4: a k A whatever she is that you know, particular
Speaker 4: days she built my website, So go on.
Speaker 3: To so she didn't build a reasonably shaped website.
Speaker 4: Well, geez, what.
Speaker 3: Is going on here?
Speaker 4: Get yourself a sister.
Speaker 3: Like, ma, I do I do want to talk about?
Speaker 3: Because you know, this kind of blew me. I had
Speaker 3: a conversation with my kids, and my kids are you know,
Speaker 3: high schoolers, they're in between that fourteen to seventeen age range,
Speaker 3: and they're like, yeah, my everybody in schools and therapy like,
Speaker 3: what are you talking about?
Speaker 4: It's a thing.
Speaker 3: So apparently COVID pandemic being at home going to school
Speaker 3: hit them all very very hard. Are you seeing that
Speaker 3: with these kids? And are they getting better now that
Speaker 3: they're back in school, are they feeling are they still
Speaker 3: feeling overwhelmed? And I felt like they were feeling isolated,
Speaker 3: you know, because they didn't have you know, we found
Speaker 3: clearly that they need social outlet every day. So what's
Speaker 3: going on with our teens?
Speaker 4: I think it's like everyone, right, So you dealt with
Speaker 4: COVID to adjust to that. Life is a constant adjustment,
Speaker 4: constant transition, which is also shameless plug why it's okay
Speaker 4: to go to therapy because maybe you were okay six
Speaker 4: months ago and then something shifted and now it's like
Speaker 4: I don't know how to deal with that. So I'm
Speaker 4: glad the teens are going I'm glad they're opening up.
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you know, it's trending now. I'm glad
Speaker 4: with like athletes like some Own Biles and Naomi o
Speaker 4: Socca are talking about it because they're young, and so
Speaker 4: it's just like, okay, if they're talking about it and
Speaker 4: they can do it, this is okay and it doesn't
Speaker 4: have to be shameful, right.
Speaker 3: And I do want to say that you know, I
Speaker 3: when listening to my kids talk about, you know, their
Speaker 3: friends or whatever, I remember being that age and feeling
Speaker 3: occasionally like off or depressed or anxious, overwhelmed. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: I fail my test. You know, all kinds of things
Speaker 3: that teens go through, hormones, all of that and not.
Speaker 3: And I dare not share that with my parents right right,
Speaker 3: Like if I even thought to share that, they would
Speaker 3: either tell me to kick rocks, get over it, go
Speaker 3: to your home, you know what I mean? Like, there
Speaker 3: was no way that I would feel comfortable sharing it
Speaker 3: with anybody. So to know that at least these kids
Speaker 3: feel comfortable talking about it, They have each other, They
Speaker 3: are all in it together, so to speak, is a
Speaker 3: great thing. And I think that we all have to
Speaker 3: be mindful that our brain, our mental stability, what we think,
Speaker 3: how we feel is not taboo. It's not for you
Speaker 3: to keep to yourself, like, we're all in this thing
Speaker 3: called life together.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and find a therapist that works for you, right,
Speaker 4: We're all not these stuffy people that are going to,
Speaker 4: you know, shake our finger at you.
Speaker 1: Like.
Speaker 4: There are a lot of really cool, down to earth,
Speaker 4: relatable therapists. So it's nice that the kids have someone
Speaker 4: to go to that might be, you know, a cool,
Speaker 4: down to earth person. It's not always going to be
Speaker 4: some old old white men, right, old white men or
Speaker 4: worth therapist that's what you see on TV for example,
Speaker 4: you know. So it's just like, no, there are some
Speaker 4: just really relatable, cool people that also have their stuff
Speaker 4: going on to that can relate to you, but also
Speaker 4: have the training to deal with whatever you're coming in with.
Speaker 1: I definitely relate to you, Jaselle. Just I remember being
Speaker 1: a teenager and just being like mad for no reason,
Speaker 1: Like just then I'll be like why am I mad?
Speaker 1: Like why am I feeling like this? And there's like no, like,
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's hormones. Really, it's hormones. It's changing
Speaker 1: in your your body and your mind and just so
Speaker 1: much going on. And so I think it is so
Speaker 1: important for parents to be in tune to that with
Speaker 1: their kids and not get so like, you know, thinking
Speaker 1: that there's something wrong with them, but realize like they're
Speaker 1: going through big changes.
Speaker 2: In their life.
Speaker 4: For them, it's a big change. Yeah, right, don't get defended.
Speaker 4: What's wrong with you? Right? We have everything you need.
Speaker 4: You have this house, you know, you gool what else,
Speaker 4: what else you need? It's like there are other things
Speaker 4: going on, yeah, yesterday exactly exactly. Yeah, so that's important.
Speaker 1: We could talk about this, I think, for you know,
Speaker 1: a whole another forty five minutes or so. But this
Speaker 1: has been a great conversation. Do you have anything else
Speaker 1: you want to close with or add or.
Speaker 4: Just kind of going back to the misconceptions. I just
Speaker 4: also want to put out there that you know, going
Speaker 4: to therapy is not advice giving. It's not like you
Speaker 4: come to me and then I say, Gazelle, this is
Speaker 4: what you should do. Now go ahead and do it.
Speaker 4: That's not really what it's about. It's about exploring what's
Speaker 4: going on, you know, helping you figure out what is
Speaker 4: going to be the best choice for you. And if
Speaker 4: you decide to do something that I don't necessarily agree with,
Speaker 4: that's okay. We're going to walk you through it and
Speaker 4: I'm not going to judge you for it, and I'll
Speaker 4: be here tomorrow when you cry to say that, oh
Speaker 4: my gosh, shouldn't have done that? Right, That's what we're
Speaker 4: here for.
Speaker 2: Are you? Can you prescribe medication?
Speaker 4: So I'm glad you asked that. Everybody a different like
Speaker 4: what do you you know? So a psychiatrists differences. A
Speaker 4: psychiatrist prescribes medication. They are actual medical doctors. Okay, therapists
Speaker 4: do not prescribe medication. We do talk therapy. God, most
Speaker 4: psychiatrists don't do therapy. You come in, you have a
Speaker 4: check in. How the med's working for you? You good,
Speaker 4: any side effects? Good to see you. I'll see you
Speaker 4: in a month.
Speaker 1: Got it? And I think, and you know, I think
Speaker 1: that's so important for people to know the difference that
Speaker 1: because I think when they think therapy mental health, they're
Speaker 1: thinking medication.
Speaker 4: Right, and it's all when the same. We're two different people.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's important.
Speaker 3: Great, And this is my last little bone to pick
Speaker 3: with our people. Okay, black people. We know we love
Speaker 3: our people. Okay, seriously, guys, like we think that therapy
Speaker 3: is for not for us. You know, we we're taught
Speaker 3: and we're built to be so strong to get over it,
Speaker 3: to keep it moving, to not even deal with the day.
Speaker 3: You got to look for tomorrow. So like, no, we
Speaker 3: got to stop doing that. We gotta stop doing that
Speaker 3: to ourselves. We gotta stop doing that to our children.
Speaker 3: It is okay to take a time out and make
Speaker 3: sure that you get your mind right. Grandma said get
Speaker 3: your mind right, and she really meant it. It's called therapy.
Speaker 2: That behavior is self sabotaging.
Speaker 1: Yes, it really is, to like think like I'm tough,
Speaker 1: I got this, I don't need, you know, to talk
Speaker 1: to anyone, and I'm gonna keep it moving. And then
Speaker 1: you're just bottling up all of the emotions and the anxiety.
Speaker 4: Right, the stress, and not learning any tools of how
Speaker 4: to deal with it. It's okay that you have these feelings,
Speaker 4: you are valid in that, but tell me how to
Speaker 4: deal with this, right, all right?
Speaker 1: Well, I hope somebody listening, more than one person has
Speaker 1: learned something and it's motivated and you know, encouraged to
Speaker 1: go to therapy, seek out a therapist, a balance coach,
Speaker 1: and you know, and.
Speaker 2: Hopefully just just you know.
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know.
Speaker 2: Is it like getting clarity or it is.
Speaker 4: Sometimes getting clarity. It is sometimes getting clarity. I'm so
Speaker 4: glad that you mentioned black people, because you know, that
Speaker 4: really is like what I said in my bio, right,
Speaker 4: it's about reducing that stigma and making it comfortable. And
Speaker 4: that's why I mentioned therapy for black girls for example,
Speaker 4: or you know my you know my team. We're all
Speaker 4: of color, right, So it's like, if you want someone
Speaker 4: that looks like you, if you want someone that maybe
Speaker 4: has a little bit of understanding about your background, you
Speaker 4: can do that. If that's not for you, that's okay too.
Speaker 4: But let's have more of more therapists that look like us,
Speaker 4: and that way it makes it a little bit more comfortable,
Speaker 4: and that it's okay. You don't have to keep everything
Speaker 4: inside or everything in your house or just feel you
Speaker 4: can only talk about it with you know, your pastor
Speaker 4: you know, shout out to the church. But there are
Speaker 4: other resources out there besides that.
Speaker 3: Right, well, we love you, and we thank you so
Speaker 3: much for stopping. Bobby learned so much about not only
Speaker 3: about therapy and you, but about ourdo over there, our
Speaker 3: director of operations, because she has not done anything for
Speaker 3: us that she has done for you. But anyway, that's
Speaker 3: for a whole another episode. This is our Reasonably Shady episode,
Speaker 3: and throughout the course of your week, just find a
Speaker 3: little reasonable and find a little shady. We love y'all
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 2: Just love y'all next week.
Speaker 3: Reasonably Shady is a production of the Black Effect podcast network.
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Speaker 3: media at Robin Dixon, ten, Giselle Bryant, and Reasonably Shady