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Speaker 1: Welcome to Reasonably Shady, a production of the Black Effect

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Speaker 1: Podcast Network and iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 2: What's up?

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all? This is Robin, one half of Reasonably Shady,

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Speaker 1: and I am sorry to inform you but life has

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Speaker 1: been lifing for us and we do not have a

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Speaker 1: new episode for you today. However, we are going to

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Speaker 1: replay a wonderful, amazing, important episode from season one called

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Speaker 1: Mine Your Mental It is all about mental health. Of course,

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Speaker 1: talking about mental health is always important while life is

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Speaker 1: lifing for us and for most people around here. This

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Speaker 1: is a great episode to listen to. We will be

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Speaker 1: back promise next week with an all new episode. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for loving us, for being patient, for understanding, but

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Speaker 1: we will talk to you soon. All right, bye.

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Speaker 3: A lot of times we don't talk about you know.

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Speaker 3: We laugh, we giggle, we do, we do our thing.

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Speaker 3: But you know, we definitely wanted to get to especially

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Speaker 3: with the journey that Robin has been on, we wanted

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Speaker 3: to get into some mental health. So we put a

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Speaker 3: question out to you guys about the misconceptions of mental health.

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Speaker 3: And this episode is called mind your Mentals. Okay, mind

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Speaker 3: your mentals. And because I'm not an expert, Robin's not

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Speaker 3: an expert. We did get an expert to come and

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Speaker 3: chat with us today, and.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I'm going to introduce our guests, but just to

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Speaker 1: talk about like this with the show, just me talking

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Speaker 1: about how I was feeling during COVID or my seasonal depression. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was floored by the response that I received from

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Speaker 1: the viewers. YEA, for people who said, thank you so much,

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Speaker 1: you verbalizing everything that I feel, you know, thank you

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Speaker 1: for representing people like us, thank you for making me

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Speaker 1: feel human. And so I've realized how important it is

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Speaker 1: to talk about these you know, not just in your

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Speaker 1: private home or in your you know, with your trusted confidante,

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Speaker 1: but like, you know, in a public setting, to make

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Speaker 1: people know that people like us who are on TV

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Speaker 1: were human as well, and you know, just to make

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Speaker 1: this forum, in this topic a little bit bigger, you know,

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Speaker 1: so that people don't have to hesitate to talk about

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Speaker 1: mental health.

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Speaker 3: And also to make it not feel so taboo. You know,

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Speaker 3: it's not a subject in which we can't talk about.

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Speaker 3: We definitely need to talk about it, and we need

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Speaker 3: to make it we need to normalize it a bit.

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Speaker 3: So absolutely, please tell us who I guess it is.

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Speaker 1: So I'm going to introduce our guests and then we're

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Speaker 1: going to take a short pause, okay, because so, so,

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Speaker 1: I just want to let you all know Gizelle and

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Speaker 1: I will now be sharing a microphone. Since we are

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Speaker 1: by residential, which means, you know, sometimes we record at

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Speaker 1: Gazelle's house and sometimes we're at my house, we forget

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Speaker 1: a piece of equipment, which would be called a third

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Speaker 1: microphone for our guests. So once we introduce our guests,

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Speaker 1: she's going to have one microphone, and then Giselle and

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Speaker 1: I will share one. So it might sound a little wonky,

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Speaker 1: but you know where you men, so bear with us,

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Speaker 1: all right. So, Mirja Paul is the owner and clinical

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Speaker 1: director of Soul Counseling and Consulting. Major received her Bachelor

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Speaker 1: of Arts degree in psychology from the Pennsylvania State University

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Speaker 1: and her Master of Science degree in Clinical Community Counseling

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Speaker 1: from Johns Hopkins University Okay credentials. Marja is a licensed

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Speaker 1: clinical professional counselor and is an approved clinical supervisor by

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Speaker 1: the Maryland Board of Professional Counselors and Therapists. In April

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Speaker 1: twenty twenty, Major opens Soul Counseling and Consulting, a group

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Speaker 1: mental health practice that provides individual, family, and couples counseling.

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Speaker 1: Mission is to decrease the stigma of mental health, particularly

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Speaker 1: in communities of color. Her vision for the practice is

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Speaker 1: to create a safe and supportive place for clients to

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable, heard, and understood. Marriager's goal is to help

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Speaker 1: people feel empowered to live, not merely exist or settle.

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Speaker 1: She chose the name Soul because the sun is a

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Speaker 1: daily reminder that we two can rise again from the darkness,

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Speaker 1: that we too can shine our own light.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 1: And before I let Marriaga talk, I have to say something.

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Speaker 1: Marja is the sister of Carly, who is our director

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Speaker 1: of operations. Okay, so you all have heard us talk

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Speaker 1: about Carly. Carly is the one that kind of like

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Speaker 1: handles our logistics. She's helping us set up. She forgot

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Speaker 1: to bring the third microphone.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I'm Joe, and Carly's also like my very good friend,

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Speaker 1: Like you've seen Carly on the show, helping me out

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Speaker 1: with a lot of my different ventures. But I just

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Speaker 1: want to say this. I found it very comical. So

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at our emails on the reason Reasonably Shady Emails.

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Speaker 1: And I see this email from our director of Operations, Carly,

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Speaker 1: to her sister Mirja that says, hello, miss Paul, we

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Speaker 1: are I am writing to confirm your appearance on the

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Speaker 1: Reasonably Shady podcast at If you have any questions, please

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Speaker 1: forward them to me whatever, blah blah blah, sincerely Carly,

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Speaker 1: the director of Operations. And I was like, what, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this girl is literally talking to her sister in a

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Speaker 1: business manner. She takes her director of operations job very seriously.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: I always dying if that was me and I was

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Speaker 1: talking to my sister, I'd be like, hey, girl, we're

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Speaker 1: gonna see you on Friday.

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Speaker 3: At four o'clock, all right, peace?

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Speaker 4: Like what? Yes, you gotta keep it professional at all times,

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Speaker 4: But were you like sister No, I found it very professional,

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Speaker 4: and I was I was very proud of her, like,

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Speaker 4: I'm a professional woman. Don't talk to me like I'm

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Speaker 4: some regular chick off the street business.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay. I did want to say that you're

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Speaker 3: just soul counseling. It's spelled s o L, yes, not

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Speaker 3: so s o U L. I thought that was like

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Speaker 3: so like soul.

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Speaker 4: Oh, but it isn't soul s o l.

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Speaker 2: That's so that son in Spanish.

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Speaker 4: That's so that sun in Spanish. It's also like the

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Speaker 4: root word of like a lot of words with sun, solstice. Yes,

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Speaker 4: sola and French, so you know, trying to go back

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Speaker 4: to my my French roots and yes, but no one

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Speaker 4: can say so lea. So I was just like, never mind,

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Speaker 4: you just keep making us think yes.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So getting into it. So with the misconceptions about

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Speaker 3: mental health, a lot of people said that they feel

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Speaker 3: like they're weak right when they go seek out counseling.

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Speaker 3: They feel like they're quote crazy, like, you know, they

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Speaker 3: don't want to feel like they have mental issues. What

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Speaker 3: are your thoughts on that?

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Speaker 4: So we get that a lot, right, And that's the

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Speaker 4: whole thing about the stigma and how you were saying,

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Speaker 4: Robin about like making it, you know, just more normal

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Speaker 4: normalizing it. Right. So back in the day, it was

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Speaker 4: for quote unquote crazy people, right, it was for severe

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Speaker 4: mental health issues. They would go to the you know,

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Speaker 4: psychiatric hospital and things like that. And I don't know

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Speaker 4: if we've really changed from that. We're changing, you know,

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Speaker 4: but it feels like, do you wait until like your

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Speaker 4: arm is about to fall off before you go to

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Speaker 4: the doctor. It's like, are you weak for going to

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Speaker 4: your regular doctor for your regular checkups? No? So I

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Speaker 4: feel like we take care of our body, you should

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Speaker 4: also take care of our mind. So that idea about

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Speaker 4: it being for weak people or just for crazy people.

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Speaker 4: And you know, as a therapist, we don't like to

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Speaker 4: use the word crazy, but no, I feel like there

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Speaker 4: are a lot of different issues that people have and

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Speaker 4: don't wait until it's too late or you're super struggling

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Speaker 4: with something before you go talk to somebody.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but I'm sorry. A lot of people used crazy, right,

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Speaker 3: and that's what they said, Like I'm gonna feel crazy.

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Speaker 3: That's for crazy people. So what word should we be

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Speaker 3: using because I don't feel comfortable using that word.

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Speaker 4: Sure, just say how you feel, right, So like if

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Speaker 4: you say I'm gonna feel crazy for going or do

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Speaker 4: you feel like a crazy person? If you feel like

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Speaker 4: a crazy person, and that's your word to use, Okay,

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Speaker 4: but you can say I'm feeling really anxious, I'm feeling

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Speaker 4: really overwhelmed. Okay, I feel like I just got to

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Speaker 4: get like would you say on the show Rob and

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Speaker 4: get my life together, Like you just say how you feel.

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Speaker 4: You don't have to just go to the word crazy,

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Speaker 4: just say how you're feeling.

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Speaker 1: I like that. Okay, So when would you say, like,

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Speaker 1: is there a point when people should know like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I need to go talk to someone because I'll be

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Speaker 1: honest with me. Can I consider myself to be a

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Speaker 1: very thick skin person. I'm very like, Okay, you know,

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Speaker 1: life isn't perfect, you know, suck it up, move on,

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Speaker 1: it's in And I probably don't spend the time to

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Speaker 1: kind of like really sit back and check in with myself.

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Speaker 1: And so for you know, people like me or even

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Speaker 1: other people who kind of just you know, have this

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Speaker 1: stigma in their mind about mental health, when do you say, like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I need to now, I need to go talk to someone.

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Speaker 2: I need to check in.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's just like, whatever you're doing hasn't been working.

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Speaker 4: So if whatever you're doing is not working, then you

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Speaker 4: try something different. Sometimes it's therapy, sometimes it's something totally different.

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Speaker 4: But if you're feeling like, oh my gosh, I've been

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Speaker 4: dealing with this for a long time and whatever I'm

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Speaker 4: doing is not working, be open to trying something different

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Speaker 4: and therapy is not for everybody, but you could try

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Speaker 4: it and see if that works for you. But the

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Speaker 4: whole thing about thick skin and being weak, it's just

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Speaker 4: like I said, I mean, if you're struggling with something,

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Speaker 4: just try it out.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So that's that's good to know. But let's back

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Speaker 3: all the way up. So let's say I'm feeling anxious,

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Speaker 3: I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is easy for me in my

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Speaker 3: life because it's just a lot going on. Would your

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Speaker 3: recommendation be for me to first step seek therapy or

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Speaker 3: would you recommend I don't know, I go to the gym,

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Speaker 3: I work out, I you know, drink a glass of

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Speaker 3: wine a night, Like what what? What are your steps

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Speaker 3: before therapy for somebody to think about or consider prior

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Speaker 3: to going to therapy.

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Speaker 4: Sure, so here's the other thing too. When you talk

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Speaker 4: to a therapist, they're going to suggest things like that too. Okay, Right,

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Speaker 4: it's not all about this. It has to be so

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Speaker 4: structured and so serious. It could just be doll, do

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Speaker 4: you have a schedule? Are you writing notes? Are you

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Speaker 4: going to sleep at the right time? Like sometimes a

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Speaker 4: therapist is just suggesting normal things like make sure you

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Speaker 4: are going to the gym, make sure you are going

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Speaker 4: to bed on time, make sure you are drinking your

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Speaker 4: water every day.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 4: So if you're not at that place where you're like, uh, okay,

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Speaker 4: I'm feeling anxious but I'm not quite ready, reach out

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Speaker 4: to friends and family. Like that's what we do, right,

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Speaker 4: We talk to our friends, we talk to our family.

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Speaker 4: Social media, although it has you know, it's pros and cons,

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Speaker 4: sometimes there's a lot of resources on social media as well.

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Speaker 3: Right, Okay, listen, I'm sorry, sirup needle on the record.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: If we're gonna go to social media to feel better

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Speaker 3: about ourselves, pros and cons, that is not.

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Speaker 4: Resources. Right. There are a lot of mental health Instagram pages, okay, Right,

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Speaker 4: So it's not just the shade room. It's not just

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Speaker 4: shout out to the shade feral, you know, for entertainment.

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Speaker 4: But there are other pages that are about mental health

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Speaker 4: and anxiety and motivational quotes and things like that. So again,

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Speaker 4: you know, pros and cons, but there's some resources on

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Speaker 4: there as.

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Speaker 1: Well, okay, right, And I feel, you know, for some

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Speaker 1: people who are maybe embarrassed to talk about their struggles

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Speaker 1: or they don't want to be judged by you know,

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Speaker 1: their family members or their you know, friends or whatever

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Speaker 1: for what they're.

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Speaker 2: Thinking or they're feeling.

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Speaker 1: I think the therapist is that great, you know, mutual

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Speaker 1: party that's not biased. They don't know you, they've seen

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Speaker 1: it all.

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Speaker 2: They're professional.

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Speaker 1: They're all about the privacy and the hip of laws

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Speaker 1: and all that type of stuff. So even for someone

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Speaker 1: it's like, if there's just anything that you're dealing with

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Speaker 1: in your life, whether it's just you know, a disagreement

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Speaker 1: with your sister or something, you know, a therapist is

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Speaker 1: always that neutral party that you can talk to that

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Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about being judged because that's

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Speaker 1: what they do, right, you know. And it's unfortunate because

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Speaker 1: so many people live their lives and all they worry

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Speaker 1: about is being judged. So you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: It's like they worry about what people think and whether

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Speaker 1: it's the way they look, they dress, their weight, you know,

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Speaker 1: their job there whatever, or their relationships, like all they

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Speaker 1: care about is how they're being judged.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: I think a therapist is a neutral party that you

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Speaker 1: don't have to worry about that.

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Speaker 4: There's something special about that. So some people are like, well,

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Speaker 4: you're a stranger and I don't know you. But the

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Speaker 4: other hand, it's like, oh, you're a stranger and I

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Speaker 4: don't know you, oh, which means you don't know me,

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Speaker 4: which means I can say whatever I need to say

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Speaker 4: and be okay about it. So there is that definite like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: you don't know all of my background. I'm telling you

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Speaker 4: a little bit about myself and you can kind of

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Speaker 4: chime in from that outside perspective. Think about when a

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Speaker 4: company needs, you know, just a shift or a chain,

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Speaker 4: they hire an outside consultant, right. They don't talk to

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Speaker 4: people who are necessarily in the company. They're like, let's

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Speaker 4: go outside for someone who's like outside the box looking in.

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Speaker 4: So that's what a therapist does for you. It's a

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Speaker 4: different perspective. It's someone that does not know you, and

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Speaker 4: it's just like, Okay, you're not going to see me

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Speaker 4: at the club.

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Speaker 3: You know, Oh, you're gonna see this therapist at the club.

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Speaker 3: But it's not I kind of I feel like a

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Speaker 3: lot of people feel that it's scary. Yeah, right, They're

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Speaker 3: really gonna sit down with somebody that's a professional that

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Speaker 3: knows what they're talking about, that knows when you lie

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Speaker 3: in and can call you on your shit. So that

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Speaker 3: means that you have to have a level of vulnerability

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Speaker 3: to even sign up for this.

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Speaker 4: You do, you do, but in the very first conversation.

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Speaker 4: I'm not going to sit here and ask you in

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Speaker 4: the very first conversation your deepest, darkest secret. Like, there's

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Speaker 4: a method to how we do things right. It's like,

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Speaker 4: let's get comfortable, let's build some rapport, let's get to

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Speaker 4: know each other, and you'd be surprised, like once you

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Speaker 4: kind of let your guard down a little bit, the

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Speaker 4: things that you say. I mean, I've had people say

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Speaker 4: to me like, oh my god, I haven't told anybody this.

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Speaker 4: I can't believe I'm telling you this. Or you sit down,

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Speaker 4: you're just like, so, what's going on? And it's like

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Speaker 4: tears and you're like, oh, you've been holding that in

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Speaker 4: for a while. So yeah, of course it is about

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Speaker 4: being vulnerable, but it's also for the therapist to kind

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Speaker 4: of guide you and lead you and not start with

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Speaker 4: all right, tell me what what's going on? Well, come on,

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Speaker 4: why did you do that? Was no, Like, let's ease

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Speaker 4: into it, let's get comfortable, let's get to know each other.

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Speaker 4: Then third session, fourth session, fifth session. Then it's like,

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Speaker 4: all right, now I'm gonna call you out on your stuff.

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Speaker 2: So interesting.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking through all the responses that we got and

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Speaker 1: they all are or not all, but a lot of them.

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Speaker 1: It's like the misconception or the things that they worry

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Speaker 1: about is that there's something wrong with you or that

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Speaker 1: you're crazy.

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Speaker 2: It's so like I was.

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Speaker 1: Just really looking through these Is there something would you say?

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Speaker 1: What is like the most common reason someone comes to

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Speaker 1: you or seeks a therapist?

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Speaker 4: Anxiety?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Right, I think everybody has anxiety even before COVID. I

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Speaker 4: don't think we named it as anxiety. I think it

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Speaker 4: was like I get stressed.

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Speaker 3: Out, so so and explain anxiety anxiety because that comes

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Speaker 3: in different forms.

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Speaker 4: Very different forms. So is it like worry could be

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Speaker 4: worried a lot. Sure, it could be worry. It could

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Speaker 4: be worry about everything, or it could be worry about

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Speaker 4: just something specific, right, Okay.

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Speaker 2: It could be you have.

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Speaker 4: A need to control everything and you're just like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm just controlling, or I just like to know the plan,

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Speaker 4: I know what's going on at all times. That could

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Speaker 4: be a little bit of anxiety kind of creeping in,

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Speaker 4: like I need to know what's going on so I

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Speaker 4: can get my mind right and then prepare for it.

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Speaker 4: That's a little bit of anxiety there too, And that's

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Speaker 4: not a bad word. I don't want people to say, oh,

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Speaker 4: I have anxiety, and it's just like now we're labeling you.

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Speaker 4: You have this diagnosis, something's wrong with you. We're using

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Speaker 4: the word who we're talking about mental health. But if

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Speaker 4: you want to say stressed, if you want to say overwhelmed, fine,

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Speaker 4: you know. I don't want to be like it's a

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Speaker 4: stigma to label, but yeah, it comes in different forms.

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Speaker 3: Well, I was just asking because people need to be

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Speaker 3: able to say to themselves when they are feeling whatever

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Speaker 3: kind of way they're shoeing, they need to be able

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Speaker 3: to label it for themselves, right, as opposed to just

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Speaker 3: like wallowing in it or not knowing what direction to

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Speaker 3: go to get out of it.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 3: They need to understand what's going on with themselves, right.

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Speaker 3: That's why I was like, an anxiety is never really explained. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but you gave a good expansion. Yeah, it's not.

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Speaker 4: Always like a panic attack. Sometimes it is, right, but

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Speaker 4: it's not always that right. It's like I said, and

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Speaker 4: come out in different ways. It could be like I'm

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Speaker 4: not sleeping, well, I'm having bad dreams. You know, there's

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Speaker 4: a little like feeling in my chest or in my belly,

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Speaker 4: and I'm not really sure where that comes from. Every

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Speaker 4: time I'm about to go to work, I have this

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Speaker 4: like pitt in my stomach. So I like what you

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Speaker 4: said about just kind of paying attention to that and

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Speaker 4: seeing what that is, naming it and then take it

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Speaker 4: from there.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Right.

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Speaker 2: I almost think.

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Speaker 1: You guys almost need to come up with an alternate

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Speaker 1: word that's not therapy or mental health, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, because like when you hear the word therapy,

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Speaker 1: you think, Okay, there's something wrong with me and I

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Speaker 1: need to be rehabilitated, right, or mental health you know

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Speaker 1: the whole. I'm crazy, I'm weak. So it's like I

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Speaker 1: wish they're like, what is another word that you all

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Speaker 1: could like start using so that people would know, like

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like almost like you're checking you know,

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Speaker 1: you're I don't.

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Speaker 2: I guess you start.

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Speaker 1: Using hearing the accountability accountability partner partner type stuff, but

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Speaker 1: not so much that, but more of like.

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Speaker 2: A check in cheers. Yeah, Like what can that be?

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Speaker 2: Because I can't.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, because I think the word itself is what is

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Speaker 1: misleading for people. Sure, you know, sure, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what those words could be because like I think, like

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Speaker 1: I said, just personally, I'm like, I ain't nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with me, you know what I'm saying, Like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: busy and I'm stressed, but isn't wrong with me? You know.

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Speaker 1: So I think it's the actual word therapy that makes

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Speaker 1: it sound like you know, there's something wrong with you

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Speaker 1: versus you know, no, you just have a lot going on.

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Speaker 1: You need to check in, You need a balance, maybe like.

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Speaker 4: A balance coach, a balance coach that yes, I want

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Speaker 4: to trademark that you might.

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Speaker 3: Take that balance coach that.

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Speaker 4: That's good though, because that's what we do. We try

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Speaker 4: to keep everything in balance for you. Write a little

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Speaker 4: bit of this, a little bit of that. Yeah that's good.

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Speaker 2: I like that.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I like that. Break that down.

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Speaker 2: Yep, you don't don't want to take that?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'll give you credit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I'll give you credit for that.

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Speaker 1: So okay, we have just a couple more, a couple

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Speaker 1: more questions. Let's talk about how social media plays a

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Speaker 1: role in our mental health.

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Speaker 4: We touched on it and Jaselle kind of was you know.

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Speaker 3: She has something to say.

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Speaker 1: We need to take a little bit deeper because I

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Speaker 1: think it, don't you know, Yes, for people like Giselle

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Speaker 1: and I who who are on a public platform, but

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Speaker 1: I know that it affects the everyday person, yes, you know, yes.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So, like I was saying pros and cons right,

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Speaker 4: benefits of social media community, right, some sort of like

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Speaker 4: online support, okay, motivation, messages, inspiration, things like that. Think

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Speaker 4: about during COVID TikTok was our friend, like during quarantine,

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Speaker 4: like the Internet stays undefeated, right, So like it provided

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Speaker 4: comic relief in such a stressful time. It was nice

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Speaker 4: to just go and see memes and do these TikTok

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Speaker 4: challenges and things like that. Right, So social media can

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Speaker 4: be our friend. It could be nice, it could be

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Speaker 4: a good thing.

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Speaker 1: But if my TikTok didn't get as many views as

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Speaker 1: your TikTok, I'm not I took no.

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Speaker 4: I'm glad you asked, because I was thinking.

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Speaker 3: And then there's also the issue of you're literally just

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Speaker 3: looking at filtered pictures absolutely, which can mess with your mind. Yes,

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Speaker 3: you know what your body looks like in a real mirror,

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Speaker 3: with no filters, and then you're comparing yourself to these

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Speaker 3: images that you've seen all day that are perfect and

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Speaker 3: that's not reality, right, So like, how mentally are we

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Speaker 3: able to handle that?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 4: I always say that too, take a break. You don't

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Speaker 4: have to be on social media all day. If you're

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Speaker 4: on it and you're feeling like this is not feeding

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Speaker 4: my soul, this is not making me happy, then take

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Speaker 4: a break, or you know what, start on following certain things.

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Speaker 4: Sometimes you follow pages and you're always cute for that moment,

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Speaker 4: and then you're like, you know what, I don't I

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Speaker 4: don't want to hear about all this gossip. I don't

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Speaker 4: want to hear about what's going on, or even like

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Speaker 4: when the police brutality stuff was happening, that's it's just

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Speaker 4: too much. Like you're allowed to say this is too much.

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Speaker 4: I can't deal with this right now, and I'm shutting

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Speaker 4: this down right or I also think it's okay to

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Speaker 4: like see things on social media and realize that, you

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Speaker 4: know what, maybe maybe not today. So let's just say

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Speaker 4: like Mother's Day or Father's Day posts, what if you

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Speaker 4: have a tumultuous relationship with your parents or they're not

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Speaker 4: here right, So it's just like on that Sunday and

435
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 4: Mother's Day, don't don't don't do that to yourself, like

436
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 4: pay attention to what you actually need. And it's not

437
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,080
Speaker 4: you being a hater. It's not you like, oh, I

438
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 4: don't want to hear about all these No, just like

439
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 4: it's okay. Or if you're like I don't know, if

440
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,600
Speaker 4: you're trying to conceive and you're having trouble conceiving and

441
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 4: all you're seeing is all these baby posts, right, it's

442
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 4: like that doesn't happen in that way where it's just like,

443
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 4: how come all of a sudden everybody everybody's right COVID babies, right.

444
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:09,920
Speaker 4: But it's like it's okay to say, you know what,

445
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,639
Speaker 4: I'm happy for you and I'm also sad for me.

446
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,240
Speaker 4: You can have two feelings at the same time.

447
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: So is it okay to just like straight up be selfish, yes,

448
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:22,479
Speaker 3: and and think about what you need as opposed to

449
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 3: what everybody expects of you.

450
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 4: Yes, please be selfish. Selfish is not a bad word.

451
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,040
Speaker 4: It's not a curse word. It's not a bad word.

452
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,760
Speaker 4: And even when we're thinking about going to therapy that

453
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:39,640
Speaker 4: is one hour usually one hour to yourself right where

454
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 4: you don't have to worry about I'm monopolizing this conversation.

455
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 4: I didn't ask how she was doing. You know, I

456
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 4: talk to my friends all the time, and it could

457
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 4: be like a two hour conversation because the first hour

458
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 4: is catch me up on your stuff. Okay, is it

459
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 4: my turn? Okay, now let's go. It's just like sometimes

460
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 4: you just want to be like, girl, right, let me

461
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:58,679
Speaker 4: tell you what happened. But your therapist is there to

462
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 4: be like it's all about you, Yes, all about you.

463
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 2: That's true.

464
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,439
Speaker 1: That's a great point because there I feel like, you know,

465
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: when you are like sometimes with a group of friends,

466
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, okay, I'm gonna listen.

467
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 2: I don't want it.

468
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: To be about me, right, and then everyone else is talking,

469
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 1: and then and then it turns into like, well, you

470
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: don't share nothing.

471
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

472
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,400
Speaker 1: It's just like but but I'm like, but I'm listening.

473
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, you when we listen when we talk.

474
00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,360
Speaker 1: And then so I I always feel like I'm a listener,

475
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 1: Like I don't really not that I don't share, but

476
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: I recognize that other people maybe have the need to

477
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: get something off of their chest more than I do. Sure,

478
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: you know, but but then but then there are times

479
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,680
Speaker 1: when it's like, well, damn, I didn't share anything.

480
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 2: So right, Yeah, so so that is true.

481
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, even if you have a great

482
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: group of friends or support systems, sometimes you can't get

483
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,480
Speaker 1: it all out to them because it's not enough time

484
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: or because you know, people cut you off or whatever. Yeah,

485
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 1: and then social media, like what about the people who

486
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,560
Speaker 1: will like post a picture using like a fake background,

487
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 1: like they'll like pretend like they're like traveling all the

488
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 1: jack Yes, like how do we get them to stop

489
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,879
Speaker 1: you in their life?

490
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 4: That is a little bit beyond what I do for

491
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 4: my work. But but just acknowledging that too, right, acknowledging

492
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,400
Speaker 4: that this you know, what social media is like, Yeah,

493
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 4: come into it knowing this is entertainment. This is what

494
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 4: it's for. And yes, the constantly comparing yourself and all

495
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 4: that stuff, just be mindful of like, like you said,

496
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 4: it's filtered. People are only showing their best life, right,

497
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,359
Speaker 4: They're living their best life on social media, yes, and

498
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 4: just kind of keep that in mind that no one's

499
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 4: going to share. Well, some people are, but most people

500
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 4: don't share I'm downtrodden and I'm going through. No, they're

501
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 4: gonna share the smiley face. They're gonna share. You know,

502
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 4: I'm here, I'm there, I'm jet setting knowing. Damn well,

503
00:24:58,720 --> 00:25:01,719
Speaker 4: maybe like their credit cards back stout because they can

504
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 4: do this, right, We don't know, We don't know that,

505
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,000
Speaker 4: We don't know what's behind the scenes.

506
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 3: Right, speaking of broke broke, your therapists, we have, we

507
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 3: have heard and we have found that are very expensive

508
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,479
Speaker 3: out here in these streets.

509
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 4: Glad you brought that up.

510
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 3: And you know, earlier in this conversation you said that

511
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 3: you're gonna get to know the people that you are counseling.

512
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,879
Speaker 3: So you're not gonna get into that business until like,

513
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 3: I don't know session four, and I didn't paid you

514
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:35,239
Speaker 3: for session one, two and three. So how you know

515
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 3: for your everyday person that you know might not be

516
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 3: able to afford you? Guys, you know what do you

517
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,400
Speaker 3: say to that?

518
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,520
Speaker 4: So people sometimes don't realize that you're insurance most of

519
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,359
Speaker 4: your insurance companies pay for therapy. Oh really, yeah, I

520
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:54,680
Speaker 4: don't That is I'm so glad you brought this up

521
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:57,120
Speaker 4: because this is really a misconception. People are just like

522
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,920
Speaker 4: so how does this work?

523
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,199
Speaker 3: But give us a range of like an hour session?

524
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 4: All right? Now, everybody's different, right, and somebody who's you know,

525
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:07,680
Speaker 4: counseling a real house wife might charge something you know high,

526
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 4: just kidding, just getting price Goalgee, people are different, right,

527
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 4: depends on your level of credentials. It depends on where

528
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:18,919
Speaker 4: your market is. New York probably charges more than Alabama.

529
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 3: Right to it, get it, Give us the range. Get

530
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 3: to it.

531
00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 4: The range is I would say a hundred to up

532
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,919
Speaker 4: to one hundred to two hundred. It could be the range.

533
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 3: Per session person, which is like an hour.

534
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,119
Speaker 4: Which is like an hour. Now, think about when you

535
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,919
Speaker 4: use health insurance, whatever plan you have, it's a cope.

536
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 4: Anytime you see a specialist, your insurance company pays, I

537
00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 4: don't know, eighty percent, you pay, twenty percent, you come in,

538
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 4: you pay your ten dollars copay. You don't know where

539
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 4: the rest of it goes. Somebody's paying these people.

540
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 3: So are all of you all taking insurance?

541
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 4: Not all of us? So if you are, you know,

542
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 4: feeling like oh this is steep, go through your insurance.

543
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 4: Find somebody who accepts your insurance.

544
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,359
Speaker 3: I didn't I know that, right, I think it was

545
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 3: out of pocket.

546
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,600
Speaker 1: You know, I can be doesn't have to be right, right,

547
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: And I would see that, you know, when I hit

548
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 1: jobs and they would send, you know, the packet of

549
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: the health insurance stuff, and I would see that in there.

550
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: But I just always felt like, I don't need that,

551
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,680
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, but I think, honestly,

552
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: if it's there and it's provided to you, and if

553
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: you're someone like me who thinks you don't need therapy

554
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 1: because you're fine, like still take advantage of it, but

555
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,439
Speaker 1: you should normally be in your regular right just like

556
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: just you go to dermatologists, you go to the chiropractor

557
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: or whatever it is, like you just you use your

558
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: health insurance.

559
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 4: It's the same thing.

560
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 1: So how often, I mean, I guess it really varies

561
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:40,080
Speaker 1: based on what's going on. And but like how frequently

562
00:27:40,119 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: should people just say, for someone like, you know, like

563
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 1: just people feeling anxiety, they're stressed, you know, how often

564
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: do you.

565
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 2: Think they should come to them mostole.

566
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 4: Balance their balance their balance coach? Most people start once

567
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 4: a week. Okay, that's kind of your typical forty five

568
00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 4: to sixty minutes once a week. That's kind of tip

569
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 4: for most people. Sometimes though, it's like, like you said,

570
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,040
Speaker 4: it's just kind of like I need to check in.

571
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 4: I just need to just you know, make sure that

572
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,719
Speaker 4: I'm on the right path, that I'm doing what I'm

573
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 4: supposed to be doing. You know, every two weeks. I

574
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,200
Speaker 4: have clients now that are like on maintenance, so to speak.

575
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 4: And they started seeing me once a week and then

576
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,880
Speaker 4: it was like, okay, every other and it's like, you're

577
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 4: doing pretty good, but you still kind of want me

578
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 4: around just in case. Once a month, I had somebody

579
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 4: call the other days and be like, hey, I haven't

580
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 4: seen you in a while. I'm like, are you doing okay?

581
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 4: Everything's fine? Okay, O good? Sure, come on in you

582
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 4: want to chat.

583
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 3: Sure, that's what I'm gonna start doing what I'm going

584
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 3: once a month. Oh really, I find somebody. Yeah, I

585
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 3: mean I feel like we just gonna talk.

586
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 1: You might as well, you might learn something about yourself.

587
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:49,680
Speaker 3: I have insurance, right is great?

588
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: Now, what about like couples?

589
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 3: I'm so GLADKA before you answer that question, let me

590
00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 3: just say this. Yes, I've been in some major couples therapy, y'all.

591
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 3: I'm just saying to years and years of couple's therapy

592
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 3: me and that Jamal Bryant now listen. It always helped

593
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 3: us really, Yes, you know, he is a is a

594
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 3: I think he's trained per his profession to counsel, right.

595
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,800
Speaker 3: So I always felt like we can't just have a

596
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 3: regular conversation if we haven't a problem, because you know

597
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 3: all the tricks, so we need to go to somebody else.

598
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 3: And I was always just very happy because you know,

599
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 3: he's a black man and he was open to it.

600
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 3: But it always did push us to like another level.

601
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 3: So I'm an advocate of couple's therapy. I just want

602
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 3: to say that, and.

603
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: I'll just share my experience. While Wann and I were married,

604
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: or even before we got married, he was like, I

605
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: don't need anyone to tell me how to feel or

606
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: what to think or what to do. So I think

607
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 1: you know a lot of times in couples therapy, it's

608
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 1: there's a resistance from one partner that just thinks like

609
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,800
Speaker 1: this cannot help this. They're like, I don't, like, what

610
00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,480
Speaker 1: can they tell me that I don't already know.

611
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 4: I'm glad you said the because no one's telling you

612
00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 4: how to feel feel how you feel, I'm not telling

613
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 4: you how to feel. I might be exploring with you,

614
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 4: what's behind that feeling? Where did that come from? Even

615
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 4: just basic communication, right, you think you're speaking the same language,

616
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 4: and it's just like, that's not what she said. Did

617
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 4: you hear what she said? Oh, that's not what he said.

618
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 4: So couple's therapy. It's just like, can you guys please

619
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,920
Speaker 4: start coming before you're about to divorce? Okay?

620
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,120
Speaker 3: So I just no, I totally agree with that. And

621
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 3: I feel like, if you're gonna get married, you should

622
00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 3: go before you get married. Absolutely, because the whole time

623
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 3: y'all been dating, y'all haven't been talking the same language.

624
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 3: Y'all don't know what y'all talking about. Y'all. It's always

625
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 3: good to get like a third party or like a

626
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 3: bird's eye view on the relationship. I agree, And I

627
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 3: feel like if you don't do that work in the beginning,

628
00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 3: you damn sure you're gonna have to do it in

629
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 3: the end. Yeah, or it's just gonna be over.

630
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 4: I think you're forced to talk about certain topics. Right.

631
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 4: You could be dating someone for four years. I know him,

632
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 4: I know him, I met his mama, we went on

633
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 4: vacation together, I know how he travels. We talk about

634
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: everything and it's just like, but there's that one thing

635
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,120
Speaker 4: that you not really comfortable saying because it might rock

636
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 4: the boat or whatever the case may be. You come

637
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 4: to therapy and it's kind of like the therapist might

638
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 4: just bring it up and you're like, oh, I guess

639
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 4: we got to talk about it, right. So I'm definitely

640
00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 4: an advocate for premarital yes, but yeah, I feel like

641
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 4: same thing when we're talking about you know, when should

642
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 4: people go to therapy, it's like, please don't come when

643
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 4: you're at your wits end and your bag is packed

644
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 4: and you have one foot out the door. You're like,

645
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,720
Speaker 4: you know what the last before I can just check

646
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 4: off this box to say I tried everything. Fine, let's

647
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 4: go to the therapist. So when they go, yeah, so

648
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 4: when do they go, you should go again. You should

649
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 4: go before you get married. Because I am a therapist.

650
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 4: I'm like, just go, just go when you don't even

651
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 4: have a problem, just go to check in and we good,

652
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 4: We're still good, everything good, You still like me, I

653
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,480
Speaker 4: still like you great? And then you move on right,

654
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 4: not saying it has to be weekly, but if you're

655
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 4: feeling like, you know, when you can tell something's off right,

656
00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:12,719
Speaker 4: you're not connecting as much. Maybe the intimacy has been affected.

657
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 4: You know, there's a lot of change that has happened.

658
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 4: Like you know, when you feel a little bit off right,

659
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 4: same thing like with your health, you're like, you know what,

660
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:25,280
Speaker 4: something just not right. So that's when you I'm gonna

661
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,040
Speaker 4: call my doctor and see, like what's going on. Like

662
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 4: I feel like, for example, I just want to nutrition this.

663
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 4: I'm like, something's not right. My blood shir goes up

664
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 4: and goes down. I have a headache. I don't like

665
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 4: feeling like this anymore. I don't like having a headache

666
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 4: every day. I don't know what it is, but maybe

667
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,800
Speaker 4: you can tell me what's going on. I'm not gonna

668
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 4: wait till I'm like I can't get out the bed.

669
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 4: I'm crawling to the car to be like I gotta

670
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 4: take myself to the doctor. It's like no, Like you

671
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 4: start feeling like something not right, we need a little

672
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 4: check in. We make sure well this is still good

673
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 4: so it can keep going and things don't just fester right,

674
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 4: Like how many couples do you know where it's it's like, yeah,

675
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 4: I've been dealing with this for years and I just

676
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 4: didn't know how to say it or I've said it

677
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 4: and this person's not listening to me. It's just like, Wow,

678
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 4: I wonder if we have sat down and talked about

679
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 4: this five years ago, could all of this been of right?

680
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: Right? And clearly, I'm sure the main issue that you

681
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: see is like the root cause of problems between couples

682
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: is communication, absolutely, and so the therapist or the balance

683
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 1: coach helps facilitate that communication absolutely.

684
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, So that's that's good. You know, I'll keep

685
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 2: that in mind.

686
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 3: We're gonna recap a little bit. This is what I've

687
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 3: learned today. One, you can go through your insurance to

688
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,000
Speaker 3: get this thing paid. So if you can go through

689
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 3: your insurance, why wouldn't you do it right? You know

690
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. Like, and as you said, it is

691
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 3: kind of a noe brainer. If you had a sore throat,

692
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,240
Speaker 3: your nose is running, you go into the doctor. So

693
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 3: if you feel like you're waking up every morning and

694
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,720
Speaker 3: you're like in a funk, don't nobody at work want

695
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 3: to deal with your funk, So get it together.

696
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 4: And your friends don't want to either. We love our friends,

697
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 4: but you don't want to be a burden to your friends.

698
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: Either, because your friends are busy, you know, so have

699
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,200
Speaker 1: their own stuff, right, And a lot of people hesitate

700
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:21,319
Speaker 1: to even talk to their friends or their loved ones

701
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: because they know, oh, she's busy. I don't want to

702
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: bother her. So now, but okay, so let's talk about

703
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 1: then the process of finding a therapist. And then I

704
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 1: just want to Okay, yes, we it's covered by insurance,

705
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 1: but what about people who don't have insurance too? Are there, like,

706
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: you know, maybe some sort of community resources that they

707
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:39,720
Speaker 1: can find.

708
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 4: Absolutely, there's always some sort of program in the community

709
00:34:42,640 --> 00:34:44,840
Speaker 4: for people who don't have insurance, or some sort of

710
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 4: sliding scale fee. You know, there are resources out there, right.

711
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 4: So psychology today, for example, has a directory of providers

712
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:58,080
Speaker 4: where you can filter by what your insurance is, or

713
00:34:58,080 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 4: filter by if you don't have insurance, or gender, or

714
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 4: you know, it's okay to have certain preferences. Therapy for

715
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 4: black girls, I think, is a good one if you're

716
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 4: looking specifically for a therapist of color. What is that

717
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 4: They have an IG page, They have a website. It's

718
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 4: basically a provider directory. Okay, so you can go on

719
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,160
Speaker 4: there to say if you if you are a black girl,

720
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,479
Speaker 4: or if you want to talk to a black girl,

721
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 4: you can go on there and locate someone. Okay, there

722
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,000
Speaker 4: are a lots of resources. Again, you would do to insurance.

723
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 4: For example, your insurance company will give you a list

724
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:30,839
Speaker 4: of providers that's say cover.

725
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:31,879
Speaker 2: Yeah.

726
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,360
Speaker 1: So I have come across betterhelp dot Com, which I

727
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: think is awesome because it's because it's like a virtual

728
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 1: balance coaching, right, virtual therapy. You can do it, you know,

729
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:46,720
Speaker 1: I think by the telephone or by zoom or whatever

730
00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: your method of you know, preferred communication is. And I

731
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 1: think that's kind of good for people, you know, kind of.

732
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 2: Like me, who I don't like to leave the house.

733
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: Sure, so for me, if if it's like, oh, okay,

734
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to therapy, I'm like, oh my gosh,

735
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 1: I gotta leave the house and go.

736
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 2: Sit in the room.

737
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah. So I also think that's cool

738
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 1: to find, you know, if that's what works for you,

739
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: look up online therapy.

740
00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 4: Absolutely, because of COVID, a lot of us are doing telehealth,

741
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 4: a lot of us are doing virtual therapy. And I'm

742
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 4: so glad this kind of came out because obviously pandemic

743
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 4: was not a good thing. But I think It also

744
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 4: taught us we can do things in a different way. Right,

745
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 4: How many of us are now working remotely because it's like, oh,

746
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,200
Speaker 4: y'all can't work remote Well, actually we can, right, because

747
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,959
Speaker 4: we had to so we kind of figured that out.

748
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,320
Speaker 4: But that's what we found when I started the company.

749
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 4: We got so many referrals because it was just like,

750
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,959
Speaker 4: you know, especially living in this area, by the time

751
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,160
Speaker 4: you get off the metro and get in your car

752
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 4: and all this stuff, it's just like.

753
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: You're stressed out.

754
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 4: You're stressed out right, But now it's like, Okay, I work,

755
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 4: got anxibe, you got the anxiety, you know, I work

756
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 4: nine to five. At five point fifteen, I can log

757
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 4: onto my virtual therapist right in the comfort of my home.

758
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 2: So are you doing telehealth?

759
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 4: I am doing telehealth? So we're doing both.

760
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:02,560
Speaker 2: Okay, So I.

761
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: Think you should You should tell people where they if

762
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: they say I want to talk to me or Japaul

763
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: because I heard her unreasonably shady and she sounds so balancing.

764
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,839
Speaker 4: So balancing. Well, I will say this because I am

765
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 4: now a CEO and a clinical director and all that

766
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 4: good stuff.

767
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 2: Thank you.

768
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 4: I actually I don't I don't want any more clients. However,

769
00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 4: the what's she saying?

770
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 3: She's busy? I'm a little busy.

771
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 4: Now I'm a little I'm a little busy. However, I

772
00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 4: have an awesome team of therapists who work at my practice.

773
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 3: So how do they find your team?

774
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 4: So we have an i G page at SOL Counseling,

775
00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 4: So OL Counseling. We have a website and we can

776
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 4: give you all the information www dot s O L

777
00:37:49,440 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 4: Counseling and Consulting dot com. Which my sister the d

778
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,600
Speaker 4: O O a k A Carly, a k A. Robin's friend,

779
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,280
Speaker 4: a k A whatever she is that you know, particular

780
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 4: days she built my website, So go on.

781
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 3: To so she didn't build a reasonably shaped website.

782
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 4: Well, geez, what.

783
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 3: Is going on here?

784
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 4: Get yourself a sister.

785
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 3: Like, ma, I do I do want to talk about?

786
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: Because you know, this kind of blew me. I had

787
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 3: a conversation with my kids, and my kids are you know,

788
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:27,240
Speaker 3: high schoolers, they're in between that fourteen to seventeen age range,

789
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 3: and they're like, yeah, my everybody in schools and therapy like,

790
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 3: what are you talking about?

791
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 4: It's a thing.

792
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 3: So apparently COVID pandemic being at home going to school

793
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 3: hit them all very very hard. Are you seeing that

794
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,200
Speaker 3: with these kids? And are they getting better now that

795
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,560
Speaker 3: they're back in school, are they feeling are they still

796
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 3: feeling overwhelmed? And I felt like they were feeling isolated,

797
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 3: you know, because they didn't have you know, we found

798
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 3: clearly that they need social outlet every day. So what's

799
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,960
Speaker 3: going on with our teens?

800
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 4: I think it's like everyone, right, So you dealt with

801
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 4: COVID to adjust to that. Life is a constant adjustment,

802
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 4: constant transition, which is also shameless plug why it's okay

803
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:17,319
Speaker 4: to go to therapy because maybe you were okay six

804
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 4: months ago and then something shifted and now it's like

805
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 4: I don't know how to deal with that. So I'm

806
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 4: glad the teens are going I'm glad they're opening up.

807
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,800
Speaker 4: I'm glad that you know, it's trending now. I'm glad

808
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,799
Speaker 4: with like athletes like some Own Biles and Naomi o

809
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 4: Socca are talking about it because they're young, and so

810
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 4: it's just like, okay, if they're talking about it and

811
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 4: they can do it, this is okay and it doesn't

812
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 4: have to be shameful, right.

813
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 3: And I do want to say that you know, I

814
00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 3: when listening to my kids talk about, you know, their

815
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 3: friends or whatever, I remember being that age and feeling

816
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: occasionally like off or depressed or anxious, overwhelmed. Oh my god,

817
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,399
Speaker 3: I fail my test. You know, all kinds of things

818
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:02,680
Speaker 3: that teens go through, hormones, all of that and not.

819
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 3: And I dare not share that with my parents right right,

820
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: Like if I even thought to share that, they would

821
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 3: either tell me to kick rocks, get over it, go

822
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 3: to your home, you know what I mean? Like, there

823
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 3: was no way that I would feel comfortable sharing it

824
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: with anybody. So to know that at least these kids

825
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 3: feel comfortable talking about it, They have each other, They

826
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 3: are all in it together, so to speak, is a

827
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 3: great thing. And I think that we all have to

828
00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 3: be mindful that our brain, our mental stability, what we think,

829
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 3: how we feel is not taboo. It's not for you

830
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 3: to keep to yourself, like, we're all in this thing

831
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 3: called life together.

832
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and find a therapist that works for you, right,

833
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 4: We're all not these stuffy people that are going to,

834
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 4: you know, shake our finger at you.

835
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 1: Like.

836
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 4: There are a lot of really cool, down to earth,

837
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 4: relatable therapists. So it's nice that the kids have someone

838
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:03,439
Speaker 4: to go to that might be, you know, a cool,

839
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 4: down to earth person. It's not always going to be

840
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 4: some old old white men, right, old white men or

841
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,719
Speaker 4: worth therapist that's what you see on TV for example,

842
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 4: you know. So it's just like, no, there are some

843
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 4: just really relatable, cool people that also have their stuff

844
00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,080
Speaker 4: going on to that can relate to you, but also

845
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:22,359
Speaker 4: have the training to deal with whatever you're coming in with.

846
00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 1: I definitely relate to you, Jaselle. Just I remember being

847
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 1: a teenager and just being like mad for no reason,

848
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 1: Like just then I'll be like why am I mad?

849
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 1: Like why am I feeling like this? And there's like no, like,

850
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: it's just it's it's hormones. Really, it's hormones. It's changing

851
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 1: in your your body and your mind and just so

852
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: much going on. And so I think it is so

853
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: important for parents to be in tune to that with

854
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: their kids and not get so like, you know, thinking

855
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: that there's something wrong with them, but realize like they're

856
00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: going through big changes.

857
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:54,319
Speaker 2: In their life.

858
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,920
Speaker 4: For them, it's a big change. Yeah, right, don't get defended.

859
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,239
Speaker 4: What's wrong with you? Right? We have everything you need.

860
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,239
Speaker 4: You have this house, you know, you gool what else,

861
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,360
Speaker 4: what else you need? It's like there are other things

862
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 4: going on, yeah, yesterday exactly exactly. Yeah, so that's important.

863
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 1: We could talk about this, I think, for you know,

864
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 1: a whole another forty five minutes or so. But this

865
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,439
Speaker 1: has been a great conversation. Do you have anything else

866
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: you want to close with or add or.

867
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 4: Just kind of going back to the misconceptions. I just

868
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 4: also want to put out there that you know, going

869
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 4: to therapy is not advice giving. It's not like you

870
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 4: come to me and then I say, Gazelle, this is

871
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 4: what you should do. Now go ahead and do it.

872
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,160
Speaker 4: That's not really what it's about. It's about exploring what's

873
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 4: going on, you know, helping you figure out what is

874
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 4: going to be the best choice for you. And if

875
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 4: you decide to do something that I don't necessarily agree with,

876
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 4: that's okay. We're going to walk you through it and

877
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 4: I'm not going to judge you for it, and I'll

878
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 4: be here tomorrow when you cry to say that, oh

879
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,799
Speaker 4: my gosh, shouldn't have done that? Right, That's what we're

880
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:55,239
Speaker 4: here for.

881
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: Are you? Can you prescribe medication?

882
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 4: So I'm glad you asked that. Everybody a different like

883
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 4: what do you you know? So a psychiatrists differences. A

884
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 4: psychiatrist prescribes medication. They are actual medical doctors. Okay, therapists

885
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 4: do not prescribe medication. We do talk therapy. God, most

886
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 4: psychiatrists don't do therapy. You come in, you have a

887
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,479
Speaker 4: check in. How the med's working for you? You good,

888
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:21,160
Speaker 4: any side effects? Good to see you. I'll see you

889
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 4: in a month.

890
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 1: Got it? And I think, and you know, I think

891
00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 1: that's so important for people to know the difference that

892
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 1: because I think when they think therapy mental health, they're

893
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:30,960
Speaker 1: thinking medication.

894
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 4: Right, and it's all when the same. We're two different people.

895
00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 2: Okay, that's important.

896
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: Great, And this is my last little bone to pick

897
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,399
Speaker 3: with our people. Okay, black people. We know we love

898
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 3: our people. Okay, seriously, guys, like we think that therapy

899
00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: is for not for us. You know, we we're taught

900
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 3: and we're built to be so strong to get over it,

901
00:43:56,440 --> 00:44:00,479
Speaker 3: to keep it moving, to not even deal with the day.

902
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,040
Speaker 3: You got to look for tomorrow. So like, no, we

903
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 3: got to stop doing that. We gotta stop doing that

904
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 3: to ourselves. We gotta stop doing that to our children.

905
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 3: It is okay to take a time out and make

906
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 3: sure that you get your mind right. Grandma said get

907
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 3: your mind right, and she really meant it. It's called therapy.

908
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,319
Speaker 2: That behavior is self sabotaging.

909
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: Yes, it really is, to like think like I'm tough,

910
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 1: I got this, I don't need, you know, to talk

911
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: to anyone, and I'm gonna keep it moving. And then

912
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:29,239
Speaker 1: you're just bottling up all of the emotions and the anxiety.

913
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 4: Right, the stress, and not learning any tools of how

914
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 4: to deal with it. It's okay that you have these feelings,

915
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 4: you are valid in that, but tell me how to

916
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 4: deal with this, right, all right?

917
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,600
Speaker 1: Well, I hope somebody listening, more than one person has

918
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 1: learned something and it's motivated and you know, encouraged to

919
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,760
Speaker 1: go to therapy, seek out a therapist, a balance coach,

920
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: and you know, and.

921
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 2: Hopefully just just you know.

922
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 3: I don't I don't know.

923
00:44:57,640 --> 00:44:59,600
Speaker 2: Is it like getting clarity or it is.

924
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 4: Sometimes getting clarity. It is sometimes getting clarity. I'm so

925
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 4: glad that you mentioned black people, because you know, that

926
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 4: really is like what I said in my bio, right,

927
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 4: it's about reducing that stigma and making it comfortable. And

928
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,719
Speaker 4: that's why I mentioned therapy for black girls for example,

929
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Speaker 4: or you know my you know my team. We're all

930
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,280
Speaker 4: of color, right, So it's like, if you want someone

931
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:21,879
Speaker 4: that looks like you, if you want someone that maybe

932
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 4: has a little bit of understanding about your background, you

933
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,919
Speaker 4: can do that. If that's not for you, that's okay too.

934
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 4: But let's have more of more therapists that look like us,

935
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:33,880
Speaker 4: and that way it makes it a little bit more comfortable,

936
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,640
Speaker 4: and that it's okay. You don't have to keep everything

937
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 4: inside or everything in your house or just feel you

938
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 4: can only talk about it with you know, your pastor

939
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 4: you know, shout out to the church. But there are

940
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 4: other resources out there besides that.

941
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 3: Right, well, we love you, and we thank you so

942
00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 3: much for stopping. Bobby learned so much about not only

943
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 3: about therapy and you, but about ourdo over there, our

944
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:01,360
Speaker 3: director of operations, because she has not done anything for

945
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 3: us that she has done for you. But anyway, that's

946
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 3: for a whole another episode. This is our Reasonably Shady episode,

947
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 3: and throughout the course of your week, just find a

948
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 3: little reasonable and find a little shady. We love y'all

949
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 3: so much.

950
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:16,360
Speaker 2: Just love y'all next week.

951
00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 3: Reasonably Shady is a production of the Black Effect podcast network.

952
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio. Visit the iHeartRadio app Apple

953
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 1: Podcasts for wherever you listen to your

954
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 3: Favorite shows, and you can connect with us on social

955
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:52,160
Speaker 3: media at Robin Dixon, ten, Giselle Bryant, and Reasonably Shady