1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: I don't world unstad would you. 2 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 2: It's not tell you my psillion pieces? Would banana ba 3 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 2: ba ba ba. 4 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, you are listening to a Banana's minisode. 5 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 1: I am Kurt Brown Older. 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 3: I am Banana Boy number two Scotty Landis. Thank you 7 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 3: for listening to the mini version of the silliest little 8 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 3: podcast that ever was. 9 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:47,559 Speaker 1: We take your banana stories, tell them, and then tell 10 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: our own, right, We got some good ones, Scottie hare, 11 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: Uh so I have one please, pretty fantastic. This comes 12 00:00:55,480 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: from Monica Power. Thank you. Good name, pretty good name. 13 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: Thank you. That is yeah, maybe I don't know. I 14 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: don't know if it's her real name. That's from Instagram. Hey, 15 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: Kurt and Scottie, I've got Banana's story about a science 16 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:16,559 Speaker 1: experiment gone very great. Start right, good sentence, good opening sentence. 17 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,320 Speaker 1: Oh you should be a novelist. Yes. In high school, 18 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: I had a study hall with my chemistry teacher. On 19 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: this particular day, my friend Amy and I were the 20 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,039 Speaker 1: only two people in study hall, and my science teacher 21 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: was setting up an experiment for her class. The next thing. 22 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: Oh yeah. The experiment was to make fake quote snow 23 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: using the powder that she found in baby diapers. Cool. 24 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: She was a really nice teacher and showed us a 25 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,759 Speaker 1: demo of the experiment, allowing us to each take home 26 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: a ziplock baggie of the fake snow. Yes. Later that evening, 27 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,880 Speaker 1: I was home getting ready for a band concert. To 28 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: paint a picture, I had to wear tuxio pants, a 29 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: cumber bun, and a bow tie. Very unflattering for a 30 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: four year old girl. My home phone ranging, and when 31 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: I answered it, I was surprised to hear my chemistry 32 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: teacher sounding panicked on the line. She asked if I 33 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: had my fake snow. So I checked my backpack and 34 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 1: realized it must have fallen out of my broken zipper 35 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,239 Speaker 1: on the bus. Yes. Without an explanation, she told me 36 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,120 Speaker 1: to turn on the local news and that she had 37 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: to call the police. The headline on the news was 38 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,040 Speaker 1: suspicious white powder found on bus and the footage was 39 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 1: the elementary school kids being sprayed down by men in 40 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: hazmat suits. Oh no, it turns out that some fourth 41 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: and fifth graders found my fake snow and were playing 42 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: with it before they showed the bus driver, who worried 43 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: it might have been drugs or anthrax. Main Street was 44 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:41,519 Speaker 1: shut down, children were being quarantined. A black Hawk helicopter 45 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: was surveying the town, and the local police picked me 46 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 1: up as I arrived to my band concert to escort 47 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: me to the scene. At the quote scene of the crime, 48 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,680 Speaker 1: the police had me identify the substance, which was locked 49 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 1: in an armored truck. Inside which was a steel safe. 50 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: Inside that was a plexiglass box. Cool Inside that was 51 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: a sealed bag with my fake snow. Oh my god. 52 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 1: The next day, my sister drove me to the police 53 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,079 Speaker 1: station to drop off apology cookies and the police chief 54 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,239 Speaker 1: told me although it cost the town ten thousand dollars, yeah, 55 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,119 Speaker 1: I bet it did, it was a good practice drill 56 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: for the town. Thanks for bringing lots of laughs and smiles. Monica, incredible, Monica, 57 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: great one. Yeah that Yeah. This was in Clinton, Connecticut. 58 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: My dad thought it was so funny that he had 59 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: the image from the news of the hazmat guys as 60 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: his desktop background for years. 61 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 3: Insane, just making fake snow, Just being a smart, sciencey 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 3: kid making some fake snow. These little kids wanted to 63 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 3: play in it. I don't know how fast anthrax kills you, 64 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 3: but it seems like by the time the biohazard. God, 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,240 Speaker 3: if it was really Anthex, I think those kids would 66 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 3: have been in a bad way. 67 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, Anthrax really came like it was like nine to 68 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: eleven and then boom Anthrax. Like that was the first 69 00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: time I had ever heard of Anthrax outside of being 70 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: a band. Yeah, it was just like nine to eleven 71 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: and then Anthrax is everywhere and it was just powder. Wow, 72 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: that's a fun one. We had to fake snow at 73 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: one of your live shows. 74 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 3: Once we did, I forgot about we should do that 75 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 3: if we tour, we should figure out how to do that. 76 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: If we can tour. Yeah, it's just so we had. 77 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 1: That was like the I think that was one of 78 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: the best shows we ever did. That show was it 79 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: was a big countdown. So there's a countdown clock. I 80 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,640 Speaker 1: think it was called the Final Countdown. It's called the 81 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: Grandest Finale, I think, the Grandest Finale, And we had 82 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: a countdown clock that was going on stage for the 83 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: entire show, right and that the end. I just kept saying, like, 84 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,120 Speaker 1: right at the top of the show, I was like, guys, 85 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 1: we're gonna have the grandest finale you ever saw. I 86 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: just can't wait. And as soon as I finished those 87 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: words like this is like the first thirty seconds of 88 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: the show. Yes, like five hundred balloons dropped from the ceiling. 89 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: The fan guy started up. Two smurfs came out and 90 00:04:53,680 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 1: started firing cont the crowd. Blue blue, two blue, like 91 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: just judge guys that we got to paint themselves blue 92 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: and have little white smurf hats on. Came out, shot 93 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: confetti cannons, and then I was really upset, yes, super upset, 94 00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:12,000 Speaker 1: like no, no, no, we fucked it all up. Now, yeah, 95 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: this was supposed to happen, but this was a five 96 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: thousand dollars ending. This was supposed to happen. 97 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 3: At the end, and throughout the rest of the show, 98 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,480 Speaker 3: Kirk kept getting interrupted. 99 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: Everything that was suppsed to happen. 100 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 3: Then, it was supposed to be the greatest Grand Finale 101 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,560 Speaker 3: you've ever seen in your entire life, and instead we 102 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 3: intentionally did it so that like every ten minutes, some 103 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,119 Speaker 3: incredible weird thing would happen. 104 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean there was two separate shows, so I'm 105 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,840 Speaker 1: kind of confusing what happened. I remember on one show, 106 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: like oiled, oiled up musclemen came out and threw hundreds 107 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: of little air freshness. The whole place smelled so much pine. 108 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: It was like, you mistake. 109 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 3: I still have some of those. I still have something 110 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 3: from that show I have. I could see him right now. 111 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 3: We had a ass band. 112 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,159 Speaker 1: That was how we ended the show, right, A brass 113 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: band led everyone out, and then we walked for maybe 114 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 1: like two full miles to a like an arcade. 115 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,719 Speaker 3: We had a heavy metal skeleton and black Light danced 116 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,599 Speaker 3: so violently and sprayed the crowd. 117 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: We did. 118 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 3: It was a skeleton puppet. To end the show, all 119 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 3: the lights went out and it was supposed to be 120 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 3: the grand finale, and it went pitch black. And then 121 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 3: we had this black Light skeleton go absolutely name hot 122 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 3: Carl go absolutely insane. 123 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 1: That's really good. And then at a certain point too, 124 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 1: two bears in like two actual bears dressed up in 125 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: Hawaiian t shirts came out and punted. 126 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 4: These balls at everyone's Oh that's right, I forgot that, 127 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 4: like fifty beach balls. Yeah, they were the beach Bears. 128 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 4: The beach Bears, and we tried to get Coolio. 129 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: We tried to get Coolio but we couldn't, and we 130 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,240 Speaker 3: tried to get positive K and we couldn't get in. 131 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 3: And then we tried to get the guy. I think 132 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,840 Speaker 3: it's Eny Comosi who sings hot Stepper. All these people 133 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,040 Speaker 3: are available for four thousand dollars and we couldn't get 134 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:04,599 Speaker 3: any of them to show up to this show. 135 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: But then upon exiting, and then upon exiting, I think 136 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: it was just one person playing yackety sacks on the saxophone, 137 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: and it was everyone walked out into an alley in 138 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: Los Angeles in January. But still it was like sixty 139 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: five degrees and it was actually just slowly it was 140 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: snowing outside. It was fantastic. Oh, Ryo at LA shows. 141 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 1: I hope those come back. 142 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 3: That was at the Rip the Stink Punk rock Club, 143 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 3: The Stink, right, or smell the Smell. 144 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: The smell the smell, not the stink, And I used 145 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 1: it with a with a with a very similar venue 146 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,720 Speaker 1: in Baltimore in the nineties called the Small Intestine, Right, 147 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,200 Speaker 1: But yeah, the smell. Wait, that was a great show. Guys. 148 00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 3: When we tore the Bananas podcast, we can't guarantee all 149 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 3: of those things, but we promise we'll have Charlie Fromage 150 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 3: the Fanguy. I think I'm gonna buy a sprinter van 151 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 3: and wrap it into a bananamobile that will have a 152 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 3: built in photo looking thing so you can take pictures 153 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 3: against it anytime you want, and we will have local 154 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 3: dumb stuff happening at its many shows. 155 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: We will try to do a fully immersive show, hopefully 156 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: this fall. Yeah, well, yeah, we should get on actually 157 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,640 Speaker 1: scheduling that and do we should. 158 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 3: Start scheduling that because we can do outdoor places, we 159 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,440 Speaker 3: can do breweries, we can do like if a place 160 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 3: can sit three hundred people will come kick their asses 161 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 3: with banana joy. 162 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,599 Speaker 1: Oh hell, yeah, you got a story I do. 163 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 3: I got sent two stories by Mandy Striff. Mandy has 164 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 3: sent us a lot of good stuff, so thank you Mandy. 165 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 3: She also has a great Instagram, which is a book 166 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 3: and a cocktail in every photo. 167 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: Yes, you've seen it. It's great. It's amazing. She sent 168 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: us two great stories. 169 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 3: And I think she used to work for like as 170 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 3: a Disney performer, like a mascot. So we're gonna use 171 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 3: another Manny story in the future, but this one just 172 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,079 Speaker 3: really hits the spot. Hey there, banana boys. My partner 173 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 3: and I used to work for a major cruise line 174 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 3: as performers. It was the biggest cruise ship on the 175 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 3: ocean at the time of this story, and the ship 176 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 3: had a deck called the Promenade. 177 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: Sounds so far, got it? Got it? 178 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 3: The promenade ran the entire length of the ship and 179 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,719 Speaker 3: it was open to two stories. Think wrapped around the 180 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 3: second floor balcony looking down at an arcade shops, restaurants, 181 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 3: antique cars, photo. 182 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 1: Ops, blah blah blah. 183 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,079 Speaker 3: So if you're in the main heart of this beast 184 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 3: of a cruise ship, you can see the whole promenade. Now, 185 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 3: every week, on the last night of the cruise, there 186 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 3: would be a children's parade. 187 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: How nice is that? 188 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 3: All of the ensemble members again she does like Disney 189 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 3: stuff and picks our stuff. All of the ensemble members 190 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 3: for bats, dancers, wait staff, housekeeping, activities, crew, even the 191 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 3: bands had to be a part of this parade. The 192 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 3: cruise ship had the rights to DreamWorks characters. Cruises are 193 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 3: said cruises bananas. We should I don't know how many 194 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,959 Speaker 3: bananimals will have like a year from now, but we 195 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,079 Speaker 3: should try to figure out a banana's cruise. 196 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 1: Even if it's just like we can three our cruise. 197 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,559 Speaker 1: We can easily do it because I we did one 198 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,920 Speaker 1: for Max Fun where it was I think only two 199 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,599 Speaker 1: hundred people bought tickets. Perfect, but it was like but 200 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,599 Speaker 1: it was on a bigger cruise ship, so there was 201 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 1: probably two thousand people. But then two hundred of us 202 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: were just there for that thing, and there was podcasts 203 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: during the day and shows at night. Let's do it. 204 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 1: I am down through it in Lake Michigan. Let's do it? 205 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: Or like the student in Chicago Seattle. Wait, there's a 206 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,200 Speaker 1: cruise ship that goes into Lake Michigan. 207 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 3: I don't know, probably like the this wedding. There's wedding boats, 208 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 3: so maybe they can fit two hundred people in for 209 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 3: a show and a cruise. 210 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 1: But yeah, let's go to Fort Lauderdale. That's more our speed. 211 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: Let's yeah, let's go. Let's go to the Bahamas somewhere. Yeah, 212 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 1: you know, let's go cruise ships. Cruise ships are highly, 213 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: highly problematic. But if we can ignore all of the 214 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: problems for a moment for three days, let's do a 215 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: three day cruise. I'm in sounds exciting. I'm only drinking 216 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: banana dacres the entire time. I'm going to drink. Yeah, 217 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:29,400 Speaker 1: there we go. 218 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,120 Speaker 3: So this cruise ship had the rights to DreamWorks characters 219 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 3: and had a team of poorly paid performers who would 220 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 3: dress up mascot style like Shrek, the Penguins from Madagascar, 221 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,840 Speaker 3: and kung Fu Panda. 222 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: Now, let me go back a second. 223 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 3: When you get fired for misconduct on a cruise ship, 224 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,280 Speaker 3: you have a trial in the morning, and if you're 225 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 3: found guilty, you have two hours to pack your bags 226 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,719 Speaker 3: and get off the boat. One of the activities crew 227 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 3: members got fired because he had a giant bag of 228 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,080 Speaker 3: second toys that he didn't take with him. He didn't 229 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 3: get fired for the sex toys. He got fired for 230 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 3: something else. But he left a giant bag of sex 231 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 3: toys in his locker or whatever, okay, and his DreamWorks locker, 232 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,679 Speaker 3: which is even funnier. So he told a buddy it 233 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 3: was there and pieced out the friend he told thought 234 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 3: it'd be funny to hide a twelve inch hot pink 235 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:22,440 Speaker 3: suction cup dildo inside of the kung Fu Panda sock 236 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 3: for the parade. 237 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: You know, outside, can the kung Fu Panda's sock? Yes, 238 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: so it's a big mascot costume. It has big socks. 239 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,280 Speaker 3: He puts a twelve inch hot pink suction cup dildo 240 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 3: inside the sock. 241 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: Wow. 242 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 3: For kung Fu panda at the children's bread So the 243 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,359 Speaker 3: kung Fu panda gets to the center of the promenade. 244 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,160 Speaker 3: There are six thousand people who come to see this. 245 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 3: At the end of every week. He gives it a hiya, 246 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 3: a hiya, a hiya, and out of his sock unbeknownst 247 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 3: to him, So this is a different person. Fly is 248 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 3: the twelve inch hot pink suction cup dildo at the 249 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,679 Speaker 3: children parade. The stage manager sees it, panics tells a 250 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 3: crew member to get it over the headset. The crew 251 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 3: member goes out, realizes what it is, does not want 252 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 3: to touch it, begins kicking it towards an antique car. 253 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 3: Well being dildo shaped, the dildo bounces all wonky and 254 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 3: doesn't go towards the car at also, he has to 255 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,680 Speaker 3: keep kicking it towards the car. There are six thousand 256 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,079 Speaker 3: people with cell phone cameras taking photo and video of 257 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 3: this the entire time. Oh my god, this is the 258 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 3: most bananas sentence of the whole story. 259 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,679 Speaker 1: Oh wow, because I've already I've already thought we hit 260 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 1: peak bananas. I didn't know this was possible. 261 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 3: The stage manager calls our contacts the cruise ship and 262 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 3: they cut the entire internet for the entire cruise ships 263 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 3: so that nobody could videotape and post online the photos 264 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:56,360 Speaker 3: and videos of the crew member kicking the dildo through 265 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 3: the children's parade. So many angry Karen at the customer 266 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 3: service desk that night, So our good friend Mandy and 267 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 3: our friend Chat are having dinner. They didn't have to 268 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 3: perform that night. Even though they're performers, they weren't a 269 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 3: part of it. 270 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: They get a. 271 00:14:13,559 --> 00:14:17,079 Speaker 3: Thread that starts if anyone has any information about the 272 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 3: deal too at the parade, please talk to me, Please 273 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 3: come talk to me. They start cracking up, having no idea. 274 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 3: Two minutes later, they get another text from the captain 275 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 3: saying please disregard for previous message. Mandy says, excuse me, 276 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,200 Speaker 3: disregard I text the thread. If anybody has any information 277 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,600 Speaker 3: about a missing deal to the parade, please call Mandy 278 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 3: and cabin four three three zero six. I've got booze. 279 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 3: Mandy's fuck naturally the naturally out of crowded cabin. That night, 280 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 3: all the deats in the videos come to her. The 281 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,880 Speaker 3: next morning, the cruise director calls her into the office 282 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 3: saying if it's yours, uh and tries to get her 283 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 3: to nark on who it was. 284 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: She refuses to do it. 285 00:14:55,320 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 3: The captain pulls out the dildo, smashes a onto the 286 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 3: desk with its suction cup, and as he's berating her, 287 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 3: it's wiggling back and forth, saying, come on, Mandy, you 288 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 3: gotta tell me. We both just started laughing so hard. 289 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 3: I'm willing to bet he still has it and keeps 290 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: it in that jort to this day. This is the 291 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 3: legendary story of Kung Fu Panda twelve inch hot pink 292 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,680 Speaker 3: suction cup dildo. Love you boys, love the pod, Mandy 293 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 3: and Chat. 294 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: Oh man, that great story. That is an amazing story. 295 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 1: I am blown away. 296 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 3: Uh And to any of our ban animals who listen 297 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 3: to this podcast with your children, you're gonna have some 298 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 3: explaining to do. 299 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: I'm very sorry, but we are adults and we cover 300 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: adult topics. Isn't that so fun? Isn't that so fun? 301 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: I told I've already told my double ended dildo story, 302 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: so we can't do that one. Yeah. 303 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 3: No, I feel like this one is one of those 304 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 3: great things where when paradise is lost, the way that 305 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 3: panics protect kids like this is when the tiger at 306 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 3: the zoo sprays you with urine. 307 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,440 Speaker 1: This is when the monkey slings pooh at you. 308 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 3: There is some great thing where I mean America's funnyest 309 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 3: some videos has been on the air for forty years 310 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 3: showing this guy. But I absolutely love when something so 311 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 3: innocent goes totally awry and then all the parents are 312 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,440 Speaker 3: just covering their kids eyes and with cell phones. It's 313 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:28,480 Speaker 3: like the perfect storm, and it make I've never been 314 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,080 Speaker 3: on a cruise, I've never done one before. It just 315 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 3: got a lot more interesting to me. 316 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,040 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean like also, I just don't know. 317 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: I don't think my I don't. Yeah, it depends on 318 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: what the age of the kids are. But I mean 319 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,680 Speaker 1: like if they're really really young, they're not gonna know. 320 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: It just looks like kind of a thing, you know 321 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 1: what I mean. I love I love the kicking. I 322 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: feel like I've kicked a dildo around before. Of course, 323 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: you have, anybody worth their salt has of course you have. Oh, 324 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: it was a movie. It was in a movie. It 325 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: was in a movie I did called b Roll that 326 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,080 Speaker 1: never was released. It was never released whatsoever. That's weird. 327 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: We shot a movie for three weeks. It was really 328 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: fun and then never saw the light of day. But 329 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,440 Speaker 1: in it there's a scene where someone gets punched with 330 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 1: a dildo and then it gets fun and then it 331 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: falls on the ground and then I'm kicking it away 332 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: from cause I don't want to touch it. So yeah, 333 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: makes sense. That's the way you interact with a dildo. 334 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,640 Speaker 1: You don't know where it's been. Yeah. 335 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:28,119 Speaker 3: Absolutely, Gosh, I think, uh, well you made glass a 336 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 3: glass one. 337 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 1: I have a glass one for one of your comedy specials. 338 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,920 Speaker 1: That is right, because that double ended dildo story was 339 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 1: on that my first record, and so it's a double 340 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,359 Speaker 1: end and the and the record company happened to be, 341 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: of course, is Portland. The record company happened to be 342 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 1: next door to a glass dildo store, not like factory, 343 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,240 Speaker 1: and uh and they always like, do if you guys 344 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: ever need any glass dildos for merch or whatever? And 345 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, we're gonna need a double ended 346 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: glass dildo. It's like in a it's in a case 347 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: and everything, right, it looks terrifying, it looks great. I 348 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 1: have it. 349 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 3: Yes, I almost want to keep it by my bed 350 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,760 Speaker 3: stand to be the weapon I use if there's a 351 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 3: home intruder, where like if I ran out with that, 352 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 3: and instead of being like get out of here, I 353 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 3: was like, finally, let's party. 354 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: What he says, curtain Scottie butt to butt for Eva. Yeah, 355 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: it's fantastic. 356 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 3: We used to throw these huge parties in college up 357 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: at UMass and I had a sketch comedy team and 358 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 3: we made TV show. 359 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: And while we were shooting that show, one of the 360 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,440 Speaker 1: things is we wanted. 361 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 3: A guy who's threatening to jump off a building, but 362 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,000 Speaker 3: he was holding a dildo to his head, so instead 363 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,199 Speaker 3: of a guden like you would see, and we had 364 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 3: a sketch called The Negotiator. I played this negotiator who 365 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 3: would show up to talk people down, but I would 366 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 3: also negotiate every single step of the way. So if 367 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 3: the cops are like, don't go past that line, I 368 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 3: bet can I stand right there and they're like, damn, 369 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 3: he's good, And so all day long it was a 370 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:56,560 Speaker 3: funny little sketch. 371 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: It was cute. The Negotiator was a really smart sketch. 372 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 3: So you know how every small town has that adult 373 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,879 Speaker 3: video store that also sells that stuff right on the 374 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 3: fringe of town, and everybody pretends it's not there, and 375 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 3: there's always like one beat up Ford Tempo parked outside 376 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 3: that the guy the only employee, and but they never 377 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 3: go out of business, do they. 378 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: So we go in and we we knew we needed 379 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: a big, a big schlonger. 380 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 3: So we were like, let's get the biggest one they 381 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 3: got and that brand they had three of them on 382 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 3: a like hanging on a display, and the brand was 383 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 3: the twelve inch super ballsy cock. So we bought one 384 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,359 Speaker 3: and we throw a huge party and it disappears. So 385 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 3: we went and bought another one, and we threw a 386 00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 3: party after we shot the sketch, and that one disappears, 387 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 3: and so now we're really confused because we're like it 388 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 3: was in a drawer, like it wasn't just out, ye, 389 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,000 Speaker 3: So we go back and we buy third. So we've 390 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 3: cleared this place out, like whoever does inventory there must 391 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 3: have been, like these things are flying off the shows. 392 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 3: Bring a truckload of these things in. So our solution too. 393 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:15,160 Speaker 3: And we found out that this girl had stolen both 394 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 3: of them. A friend of ours, yes, yes, and she 395 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 3: was very she was a very melodramatic person. I think 396 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:28,600 Speaker 3: she wore black stockings all the time, she was smoked clothes. 397 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:33,359 Speaker 3: She loved the movie the crow and she she was 398 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 3: just opening drawers, probably a klepto, saw it, stole it 399 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,119 Speaker 3: and had been using it. And we found out because 400 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:43,040 Speaker 3: her college dorm roommate told us and then asked us 401 00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,800 Speaker 3: if we wanted it back, and we said no, thank you, 402 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 3: and then she felt so bad she threw it out, 403 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 3: and then she came to a party and she stole 404 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 3: another one, and then we asked her we want it back, 405 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 3: and we said no, we do not, And so we 406 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 3: knew her. 407 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 1: I can't remember her name. 408 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,920 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say on the pot anyways, but we knew 409 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 3: who it was and we would teaser about it. But 410 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 3: to prevent her from stealing the third one that we 411 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,440 Speaker 3: knew we were going to use as a prop for 412 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 3: some very high brow comedy, we put it dead center 413 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 3: in our fish tank in the middle of the living room, 414 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 3: so the fish swum around it beautifully under that glowing 415 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 3: halogen light, and at every party people would see it. 416 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:21,440 Speaker 3: There's so many photos out there on disposable cameras of 417 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 3: our fish tank that had some beautiful, beautiful mollies and 418 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 3: guppies and tiger barbes, and then a twelve inch that 419 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 3: was our Fort Knox We put a moat around it 420 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 3: so she couldn't steal it anymore. And boy, when I 421 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 3: put that on the out on the street with a 422 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:41,199 Speaker 3: free sign on it, it went pretty fast. Isn't that crazy? 423 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 1: She kept stealing and using it. I was like, dildoes 424 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,280 Speaker 1: are expensive. It was clandestine. Looks good to you. If 425 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 1: it looks good to you, get it. If it feels good, 426 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,480 Speaker 1: do it. No shame in her game. I hope she 427 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: still has the second one she stole. Ladies and gentlemen, 428 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: send us your weird stories. Join us at the Bananas 429 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: Podcast on Instagram and send us some some sweet stories 430 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: of your own. Maybe we'll do them on a minisoon. 431 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 3: Absolutely to them on Thank you so much everybody listening. 432 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 3: We love doing bananas and we love all your feedback, 433 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 3: so thanks so much. CURDIEB. 434 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:34,320 Speaker 1: Bananas Bananas. This has been an exactly right production, produced 435 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,680 Speaker 1: and engineered by Katie Levine, theme music by Kahan, and 436 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:39,959 Speaker 1: all of our artwork is done by Travis Millard. 437 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:42,880 Speaker 3: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast, 438 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 3: where we post stories every day and things that we 439 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 3: don't cover on the podcast. 440 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,680 Speaker 1: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple Podcast, Stitcher, 441 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,160 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcast. 442 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 3: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email 443 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,120 Speaker 3: us at THEE Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. 444 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,440 Speaker 1: That's the Bananas Podcast ust at gmail dot com.