WEBVTT - Napheesa Collier's Comeback Story 0:00:10.160 --> 0:00:12.680 Welcome back, everybody to another episode of Comeback Stories with 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:15.480 my man Donnie. As always always, I always want to 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:17.120 show you love off the top. We have an amazing 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:21.400 guest with us today. She is a w NBA All 0:00:21.440 --> 0:00:23.960 Star two times. As a matter of fact, played for 0:00:24.000 --> 0:00:28.200 the Minnesota Links, was a Rookie of the Year All 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:30.920 American in college at Yukon Olympic gold medalists. I mean, 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:33.479 we could go all day with her accolades. We're decided 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:37.040 to have the FISA Collier today and the FISA welcome. Hey, 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.159 thanks guys. Now, it's really dope to have you here 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.640 here on Comeback Stories. We love to dive into your 0:00:42.760 --> 0:00:44.639 entire journey and start from the beginning, so we want 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:48.360 to know what was growing up for you. Like, oh man, 0:00:48.400 --> 0:00:52.280 we're getting deep early, Yes, growing up. I grew up 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:56.640 in a small town in Missouri. So actually it's really 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:58.760 hard for media into basketball. I played a bunch of 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:02.600 sports before even going in that. I tried to join 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:04.840 a basketball team kind of late for you know, the town. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.840 When I was in I was in fourth grade and 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:08.800 in the beginning, no one wanted me on their team. 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:11.840 They already had like their clicks in the city again 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.080 kind of that small town vibe, and so we just 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:17.039 create our own team. We got a bunch of girls 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:20.960 from like the surrounding towns and we killed it. Of Course, 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:22.520 those teams later on asked if I could be on 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:24.000 their team, but it was too late. We already had 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.440 like a championship team. We're traveling all over the place, 0:01:27.200 --> 0:01:31.119 winning tournaments, going to nationals, things like that. And then 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.080 I moved to Saint Louis. When I was sixteen, I 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:37.240 joined Incarnate Word. We won three state championships. That's where 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.600 Yukon sawmy was playing with them. Went to Yukon, got 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:44.119 recruited thereon one tip my freshman year and then lost 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:46.120 three restart years in a row in the final four, 0:01:46.160 --> 0:01:49.640 which is tough. And then yeah, I got drafted to 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:54.520 Minnesota at six one workie of the year. It was, Yeah, 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:58.080 it was tough. I mean all like transitioning from college 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.440 to I mean high school to college was really tough. 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.680 My freshman year was definitely like the hardest thing I've 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.640 had to go through basketball wise. Just mentally, it's so hard, 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:08.760 especially at Yukon. You just like everyone going there is 0:02:08.800 --> 0:02:11.480 the best from where they could come from, and so 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:14.480 I knew it would be really hard physically, but just mentally, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:16.640 it was a whole different game the way that he 0:02:16.720 --> 0:02:18.959 prepares you. And it's the reason why there's so many 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:20.880 good Yukon players in the league, and there have been, 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.600 it's because you know, he takes you in the trenches first, 0:02:23.760 --> 0:02:26.520 like build up that mental stamina to make you strong, 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.080 and freshman year is like when it really hits you. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:32.079 So it was tough, but getting through that it was 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:34.440 a It was a roller coaster. I had started, I 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:36.480 lost my starting spot, I played horrible the whole year, 0:02:36.600 --> 0:02:39.720 and then finally it kind of just clicked my when 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.280 we got to the tournament and then you know, I 0:02:42.320 --> 0:02:44.639 had a good three years after that, and coming into 0:02:44.639 --> 0:02:46.560 the league, I kind of felt that slump again like 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.560 I had my freshman year, but thankfully I was able 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:52.440 to like kind of recognize that a lot earlier than before, 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.960 and I again just flipped that switch, and then you know, 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:56.480 the rest is history. I got Rookie of the Year, 0:02:56.960 --> 0:02:59.600 I got I was an All Star that year. Never 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:03.120 looked back well, I mean, in order to write a 0:03:03.160 --> 0:03:06.919 comeback story, it sounds like you've bounced back from multiple 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:09.839 adversities just from what you've described so far, Like, what 0:03:10.240 --> 0:03:12.080 do you accredit that to? Do you credit that to 0:03:12.200 --> 0:03:16.160 certain principles? Do you credit that to just gaining experience 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:20.120 and those those failures being valuable? What do you your resilience? 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:24.800 What do you attribute that to? H I think just competitiveness. 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:27.800 I mean, as athletes were so competitive and that drive 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.800 to win is so like fierce and ingrained in you. 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:32.880 So I don't know where it came from. Both my 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:34.760 parents are competitive, so I don't know if it was 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:37.680 bread into me or like nature and nurture. It was 0:03:37.720 --> 0:03:40.800 both because they're competitive, and then just everything we did 0:03:40.800 --> 0:03:43.400 it was like you had to win at it. And 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:45.680 so I think when you get through those challenges, it's 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.480 just it's not the end. It's just how am I 0:03:47.520 --> 0:03:49.680 going to get over that? Instead of it doesn't even 0:03:49.720 --> 0:03:52.360 cross your mind to stop. So when you have that mentality, 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:53.800 it'll take you a lot of places. It will take 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:56.560 you pretty far, no doubt. And I feel like, you know, 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:00.320 we get introduced to adversity as far as on the 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:04.480 external and the internal from a very early age growing up. 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.200 For me, the first adversity I faced was people told 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:10.520 me I was not black enough, So I had this 0:04:10.600 --> 0:04:14.760 mental narrative from elementary school moving forward that you know, 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.719 this is gonna be tough for me. I gotta perform 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:18.279 for all these people. I gotta show them something that 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:20.800 I'm not because I don't feel like i'm enough. They 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.680 tell me that something is wrong with me. Was there 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:27.520 any type of pain or any type of event that 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:31.200 harmed you anyway shaped you in any way from your 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:34.760 childhood or as a teenager that affected the way she 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.680 looked at life going forward. Absolutely, I mean I'm the 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:43.120 same way. My dad's African, super I mean, like he's black. 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:45.080 My mom's wife, she comes from a dairy farm in Missouri, 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:48.559 so really opposite cultures growing up, and it was the same. 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:50.960 I was, you know, too white for the black people 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:53.760 and two black for the white people. And I went 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:56.320 to a really really small town when I was in kindergarten. 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:58.240 It's the only place that my parents could find for 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:02.600 like full day childcare pretty much because the kindergarten's in 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:04.679 our town for whatever reason, it was like a half day. 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.400 And I was the only black person in the whole 0:05:07.440 --> 0:05:11.640 school K through twelve, And my first like awakening, I 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.960 guess with that would be we were on the slides. 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:15.320 I remember, I guess I was like six, I was 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:18.279 a kindergarten and these two girls that I thought were 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.440 my friends, they were like, we can't play with you 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:23.000 anymore because you're black and more white. And I never 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:26.520 even thought about that before. I mean, I guess when 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:28.560 you're so young and it's normal growing up with a 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:30.480 black parent and a white parent, you don't see that 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:32.880 as like, obviously you see other people look different, but 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.200 you're so young and incident at that age, you don't think, 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:37.160 you know, you don't think difference a bad thing. You 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.880 don't realize that in people's minds there's a divide. And 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:41.480 so that was kind of the first time that it 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.240 I mean, I remember it still so obviously. It was 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.920 like a core memory for me, and it affected how 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:48.520 I kind of saw life. I guess it was just 0:05:48.560 --> 0:05:50.640 like it took away a little bit of innocence in 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:53.760 that I hear you on that do you do you 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:56.800 feel like basketball in a sense gave you a freedom 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.440 from those type of environments, But know there may have 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.160 an emotion feeling like I don't know how I can 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:05.640 win here with having both of me being both of these, 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:08.360 Like you feel like you may have to choose a side. 0:06:08.400 --> 0:06:11.280 Perhaps is that something that you feel as as a 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.080 as a mixed human being, Like, do you feel like 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:14.480 there were times in life where you had to choose 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:17.240 a side? And with that, do you feel like basketball 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.560 was an escape or a freedom or just a deep 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:24.080 breath from that? I think a couple of times, just 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:27.400 in like a negative way. I think growing up, you know, 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:29.679 you really want to fit in and again, like I said, 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:31.839 and it sounds like you maybe went through the same 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.480 thing or two you know, white for the black people, 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:36.039 too black for the white people. You felt like you 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.960 had to conform in some ways. So I did feel 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.039 like growing up, you know, I'm trying to be what 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.800 other people want me to be. And thankfully, you know, 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:46.360 I have a really strong family support and they instill 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.479 that confidence in myself where I got over that and 0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:51.560 I saw the value of just being who you are 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:53.560 and trying not trying to fit into a mold that 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.719 other people have. And then I think more recently with like, 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.200 you know, we have this big social justice push and 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.560 you can you can like use that how we're in 0:07:02.600 --> 0:07:05.440 the in between. We can be an advocate for you know, 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:07.840 the our side, and we can I don't know. I 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:09.640 think it's just easier to see both sides and to 0:07:10.080 --> 0:07:14.520 kind of be a bridge between two such opposing arguments. 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:16.720 So I don't know, I think it's you can use 0:07:16.720 --> 0:07:19.000 it to your advantage as well. Absolutely, that's that's a 0:07:19.040 --> 0:07:22.280 really powerful perspective. Um. We talk about the early pain, 0:07:22.400 --> 0:07:25.600 but we like to you know, compliment that with you know, 0:07:25.640 --> 0:07:27.840 who were the first teachers you said, You sound like 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:29.880 your parents instilled a lot in you, instilled a lot 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:34.320 of confidence to be yourself despite the narratives that may 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.560 have been hitting you from the outside. What were they 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:39.160 teaching you from a very young age and what do 0:07:39.200 --> 0:07:43.360 you value the most about your childhood experience with them? Yeah, 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:45.760 my parents, I mean from a really early age, just 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:49.040 taught me like the value of the different cultures that 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:52.480 I have because especially growing up, we had like the 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.360 Africans my dad's side, and all of them were Africans, 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:58.360 you know, and we had the farmers and like the 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:01.120 like country people on my mom's side, and all of 0:08:01.120 --> 0:08:02.320 them were that and I was the old one that 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:04.920 was mixed. So they kind of taught me to embrace that, 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.360 Like I have the benefit of having two cultures and 0:08:07.640 --> 0:08:10.880 seeing such different like scopes of life that a lot 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:12.920 of people don't have. So I think they just taught 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:16.320 me like the value in that. And so I mean, 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:18.160 I love my parents. I could talk all day about them, 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:20.520 but I just, you know, I thought they did a 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.560 really great job of turning something that as a kid 0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:25.520 you might see as a negative being different, and making 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:27.120 it into a positive and saying like, this is what 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:28.920 makes you special, this is what makes you who you are. 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:35.760 I'm going back to how you were commenting. First of all, 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.040 with the basketball team, You're first crack at basketball and 0:08:38.120 --> 0:08:40.120 trying to get on a team, and there wasn't any 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.319 availability on the teams in town, so you created your 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:45.440 own team, which I think is a great lesson, and 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:48.360 it's very easy, especially at a younger age when we 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.040 don't have the support maybe or the tools to actually 0:08:51.080 --> 0:08:54.520 be able to take action and not be the victim 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:59.000 or you know, just basically take personal responsibility to make 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.240 things happen on your own. And then to be on 0:09:01.280 --> 0:09:03.200 the slide and the kid the slide, and the kids 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:06.200 not allowing you to play with them, there's a lot 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.360 of I mean, that's that's like traumatizing in many ways. 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:11.439 But what I'm hearing in a lot of your answers 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:15.840 is just a greater perspective. And maybe having those two 0:09:15.880 --> 0:09:19.280 cultures and having that that foundation of your parents has 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:22.320 given you that perspective. But I mean, do you have 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.920 any other like, um, can you point to anything else 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.480 that has that has allowed you to kind of see 0:09:27.480 --> 0:09:32.520 the world that the way it is today? Uh? I 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:35.080 really attribute that to basketball. I've been able to see 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.319 and meet so many different people through it, Like I've 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:39.800 been able to travel to different countries, travel around the world, 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.559 and I think that, I mean just naturally gives you 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:45.480 a really good perspective because you're not stuck in one place. 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.920 You know, even growing up from when I started in 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:51.800 sixth grade traveling AU, we're traveling all across the country, like, 0:09:51.840 --> 0:09:54.440 you get to meet different people, So I think naturally 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.400 that just makes you a lot more well rounded. And 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.360 then also just being on a team it like you 0:10:00.400 --> 0:10:03.320 have to work with people whose personalities are different from yours, 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:06.080 but also allows you to work with people who like 0:10:06.520 --> 0:10:09.840 lives that you've never seen. Especially growing up in a 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:12.479 small town, I wasn't exposed to a lot of different lifestyles. 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:15.040 Like we all pretty much were like grew up the 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.520 same in the same area, and so being on different 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:20.880 teams were people from different towns, and then as I 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.840 went to college, people from different states, you know, different countries, 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.800 things like that. Just seeing how they grew up and 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:29.040 what their experiences were like, it just allows you to 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.120 see the worlds in a different way, and it does 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.720 give you that bigger perspective of where you grew up 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.800 is not how everything is. It's not the way that 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:39.640 everything is. We talk a lot about self love and 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.720 loving ourselves and not being good enough. And I think 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:45.400 in my experience as a coach and just even my 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.480 own personal experience and anybody I've ever talked to you you, 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:51.600 there's this story of the not enough story, which manifests 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:53.959 in many different ways. How do you feel like, I mean, 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:56.560 it sounds like you very easily could have had that 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:59.240 story when you're too black for the white and too 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.480 white for the black people, that you could have that 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:05.400 not enough story kind of take you down a dark road. 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.520 Was there any times where that not enough story was 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.880 kind of hijacking your life into a messy place in 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:14.439 your mental health? So I guess I'm curious how did 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:16.760 it help you? And then how did it maybe hurt 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.080 you having that story or just going through what you 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:24.880 went through. I think so far as like as a 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.160 kid through high school, like I said, I have a 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:31.120 really strong family unit unit, and then also being good 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.960 at sports like that kind of deters that. Also because 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:35.720 you know, I'm the best in the area that I 0:11:35.760 --> 0:11:38.160 came from, so everyone of course like wants to be 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:40.320 your friend when you're the best at something. So I 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:42.240 think the first time I had like a real challenge 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.440 with that mentally was my freshman year of college. I 0:11:45.480 --> 0:11:48.720 mean it was so tough. Like the way that they 0:11:48.720 --> 0:11:51.000 try to prepare you at Yukon is like he changes 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.000 the entire way that you think about the game. So 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:54.760 for example, in high school, if we were to do 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.800 like a backdoor cut, it would be a play. There 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.679 is no like thinking on your own, like creating kind 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:03.480 of thing. And then at Yukon, our offense is basically 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:06.280 like an outline circle, like you have general rules and 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.200 then you work within that. You have to you know, 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:12.560 basically expand your basketball IQ, which was just it was 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:15.640 so hard to do because physically you're exhausted, like you're 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:17.400 a freshman, You're playing with the best players in the world. 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:20.920 Brianna Stewart was my senior, So you know you're coming 0:12:20.960 --> 0:12:24.839 to a super prolific organization and so there's just a 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:27.760 lot of nerves on that already, and then on top 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.360 of that, your ass to like you're exhausted, it's been 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:32.079 three hours you're playing, and then you have to think 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.840 at the top of your game otherwise you know it's 0:12:34.880 --> 0:12:37.600 gonna be you're not. It's not good. So I think 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.600 just having that pressure like it was a lot. And 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.600 I really really struggled my freshman year just mentally, like 0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:46.080 for some reason, I couldn't remember a play and I've 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:48.360 never had a problem with that before. And then once 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:50.000 that started, that just got into my head and it 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:52.679 just like spiraled. And that's when I was saying, like, 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:54.880 my freshman year is such a roller coaster for me. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.440 And finally I just got to the point where like 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.319 I'm done feeling like this. I hate this feeling. Playing 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:02.800 is not fun for me anymore, and so I just 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:04.959 let go. And once I did that, I became the 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.760 player that I knew I could be. And so for me, 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.679 I've really taken that lesson in everything, like when I 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:14.400 try to be perfect and I try I put all 0:13:14.400 --> 0:13:16.839 this pressure on myself. It's never good when I do 0:13:16.920 --> 0:13:19.160 what I put in the work. I know how good 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:20.959 of a player I am when I rely on that, 0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.679 it's just it's I just found that it's always so 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.600 much better for me. You may have just answered my 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:28.920 next question, but I was going to ask you, what 0:13:29.120 --> 0:13:31.480 do you think was the biggest thing holding you back? 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.400 Was it the perfectionism that you were just talking about, 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:38.760 or was it something else? It was definitely me, just 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.680 the pressure that I put on myself, because again I 0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:44.240 keep saying this, but everyone at Yukon's the best from 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.960 when they best of where they come from. And so 0:13:48.160 --> 0:13:50.520 I just assumed, you know, like, yeah, it's gonna be hard, 0:13:50.559 --> 0:13:52.719 but I'm a good player, I'll be fine. And when 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.120 I wasn't, it just messed with me so much because 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.600 I know, like my level of potential and when I'm 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:01.480 not living up to that, it's just frustrating. And so 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:03.720 that just got into my head and it just kept 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:06.160 like stacky on, stacky on, and I think I just 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.559 snowballed it in my head, and for whatever reason, I 0:14:09.600 --> 0:14:11.959 couldn't get out of that loop until I just until 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:13.760 I just got to the breaking point where I was just, 0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:17.120 you know, I'm done feeling like this. What was like 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:20.200 the lowest point? What was it? If you can take 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:25.520 us back to that moment, Hey, I do remember because 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.920 I had already gotten to like that bad mental state 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:30.640 pretty much. But for whatever reason, I don't know if 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:32.320 we had an injury or something, I got like a 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.360 starting spot. I had played a couple of good games 0:14:34.360 --> 0:14:38.240 in a row, and that like added pressure to me. 0:14:38.280 --> 0:14:40.160 I'm like, okay, I'm a starter, I'm a freshman, I'm 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.520 playing with all these great players, coaches. You know, he 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:44.320 has this faith in me. I need to perform well. 0:14:44.800 --> 0:14:47.440 And I had sucked and we were at Memphis, I remember, 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:51.640 and I lost my starting spot at halftime, and I 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.680 was just like shit, I mean it was I mean, 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:57.000 that was really tough because I knew I was playing bad. 0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:59.680 I knew I didn't deserve to have that spot, which 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.520 is just even worse and even worse feeling because I'm like, 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:05.360 I know I could have it, but the way I'm performing, yeah, 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:08.560 I don't deserve it. And then he took it, and 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.920 so I think that just kind of that was definitely 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:14.080 like my low point. I gotta I gotta stop because 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:17.400 she said when she talked when Nafisa, when you talked 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:21.440 about letting go, and I'm tired of feeling this way. 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.480 So when I let go, you know, these things started 0:15:24.480 --> 0:15:27.960 to happen. My journey really started to commence among from 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.320 me being a better player, my IQ growing. And I 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.880 feel like there's such a like a life lesson in that, 0:15:33.040 --> 0:15:35.320 because I feel like so many people want to be 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:40.080 so great or a master at what they do so 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:43.800 quickly that you know if they're not that exactly when 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.440 they want to be, that they put so much pressure 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.160 on themselves. I've done the same thing on numerous occasions, 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.800 and it's like when you allow yourself to say, I'm 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.520 gonna let go of the timetable on when I become 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.120 great or the timetable on when I improve, and just 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:00.160 be present to this journey and enjoy it like no 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:02.560 wonder you were able to blossom from there, because then 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:06.680 from there the discomfort and those challenges like being benched 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:08.760 at halftime, you could be able to start to use 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:11.200 those to your advantage as opposed to holding them over 0:16:11.280 --> 0:16:13.560 yourself and just walking under that dark cloud at all times. 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:15.160 So I feel like for the people that are listening, 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.320 like to hear what you said there and to really 0:16:18.360 --> 0:16:21.000 take that in is such a valuable life lesson and 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:24.160 I just wanted to stop and just acknowledge that that 0:16:24.240 --> 0:16:26.520 you said that well, I think you phrase it in 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:28.960 a great way. Putting a timetable on it is really 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:30.520 what messed me up, because I'm like, I need to 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.200 be good now. But when you know the potential and 0:16:33.280 --> 0:16:36.200 you're confident in yourself, like I know I can get there, 0:16:36.320 --> 0:16:39.200 but I don't need to do it tomorrow. You're absolutely right, 0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:41.840 Like what stressed me out is putting a timetable on 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.320 it instead of just like enjoying the process and taking 0:16:44.360 --> 0:16:47.760 the journey to get there. Just yeah, So I like 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:50.080 to tell you with that so much easier said and done. 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:52.920 But yeah, that's such a valuable lesson of the idea 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:56.520 of like people think the pot of gold is at 0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:58.200 the end of the rainbow, but the pot of gold 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.360 is actually the rainbow. It's the journey. And I think 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:06.159 the attachment to what I'm gonna get when I do 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.800 this work instead of like who I'm going to become 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:11.560 because of this work, And I'm just going back to 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:14.120 your adversity and I can't even imagine freshman year, being 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.200 thrown at the highest level in that environment with that coach. 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:22.359 What a gift to be able to go through all that. Yeah, 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.320 I do it again. It was the hardest point in 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.240 my life, but I would do it again. It made 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:28.919 me the player that I am today. So what lessons, Like, 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.119 what are a couple of the lessons that you would 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:34.359 take maybe from your years, your college years or that 0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:37.479 specific year or that circumstance, Like what lessons are you 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.720 still carrying on today? And maybe they turned into tools 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:44.800 or a mindset. They absolutely turned to a mindset. And 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:46.480 that's kind of what I was talking about with my 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:49.360 rookie year. I had a horrible training camp. I scored 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:53.160 like six points in all our training camp games combined, 0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:56.199 and I felt myself kind of reverting back to how 0:17:56.200 --> 0:17:58.239 I fell as a freshman, just like not confident when 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:01.040 I'm doing that snowball fact of like I need to 0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:04.879 be good now. And thankfully I was able to catch 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.040 it and like realize that I'm doing the same thing 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:10.520 that I did as a freshman, and thankfully didn't take 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:12.240 me seven months to get out of it again, only 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:16.520 two weeks. But whenever I feel myself kind of get 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:18.760 into a run like that. Again, the lesson that I 0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:21.240 learned as a freshman absolutely comes into play, and I 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:23.399 just allows me to take a breath, to know that 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:25.200 I've been here before and then I've gotten out of 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:28.359 it before, and it gives me the confidence to know that, 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.520 you know, to be able to see, like learn about 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.520 myself a little bit more and know what those triggers 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:36.320 are for me, I guess, and to be able to 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:41.480 pull myself out of it. I feel like there may 0:18:41.520 --> 0:18:43.760 have been the same opportunities for you to go back 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.400 into that mindset when we talk about like you coming 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:49.760 back and playing after your pregnancy, which we can I 0:18:49.800 --> 0:18:52.040 want to ask you questions about that as well, But 0:18:53.440 --> 0:18:55.560 you know what what what was? What was that? Like 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:58.800 um as compared to these other situations where there's similar 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:02.080 thoughts that you had to battle through, Because it seems 0:19:02.119 --> 0:19:04.960 like from college to you know, the time and training camp, 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:08.160 your rookie year and now you know, after your pregnancy 0:19:08.200 --> 0:19:10.000 you come back and you're bouncing back, and I'm sure 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.679 that those thoughts may want to creep their way back in, 0:19:12.800 --> 0:19:15.720 like does it get easier or is it you just 0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:17.960 is it just something like you get stronger along the 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:19.720 way as you continue to battle these thoughts. What what 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:22.960 was your take on that. I think the thoughts get 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:26.600 easier because I'm able to catch them. But for my pregnancy, 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:30.240 I mean, that's the hardest thing I've ever done. I thankfully, 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.360 you know, knock on what have been really lucky with injuries. 0:19:33.359 --> 0:19:35.960 So this is the first like true rehab comeback that 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:39.560 I've had to do physically, and oh my god, don't 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:43.479 recommend like it is hard and I thought, as an athlete, 0:19:43.560 --> 0:19:47.200 I would just be able to snap back, honestly, and no, 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.200 that's not what happened. I mean, it was really really tough. 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:52.520 And then I came back to the team six weeks 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:56.119 after I gave birth. So yeah, it was just like 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:58.480 the hardest process that I've ever had to go through physically, 0:19:59.359 --> 0:20:01.600 And I think the fact that it was so hard, 0:20:01.640 --> 0:20:04.439 like right from the beginning kind of leveled my expectations 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:06.840 a little bit more. And at that point, my only 0:20:06.840 --> 0:20:08.920 goal was to get on the court, like be around 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:10.560 the team, because the only reason I came back was 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.920 to be around Sylvia. It was for last year, so 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.439 I wasn't expecting to come back and win MVP, and 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:17.680 I think that might be the difference. Like the other 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:19.840 times I'm healthy, I know what I can do, I'm 0:20:19.880 --> 0:20:22.760 just not living up to my own expectations, And for 0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:25.199 this one, I'm like, there's no way, Like you know 0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:27.040 your body, and I know there's no way that I'm 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:30.199 going to be able to be back in ten weeks 0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:33.040 you know how I was before. So that definitely helped 0:20:33.080 --> 0:20:36.879 just the mental side on that end. But you know, 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:39.399 you know, she's nine months old now and it's taken 0:20:39.440 --> 0:20:42.359 me probably a good eight months to get to feel 0:20:42.359 --> 0:20:45.120 how I did before. So during that time was probably 0:20:45.160 --> 0:20:48.800 the hardest mentally, not because there's a time stamp. I mean, 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:50.679 there is the season's always looming over your head like 0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:52.080 I need to be ready, I need to be ready 0:20:52.080 --> 0:20:54.479 for that, but it's just like, am I ever going 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:56.200 to be ready? That's kind of what it feels like, 0:20:56.359 --> 0:20:59.639 because it's such a long time for your body to 0:20:59.680 --> 0:21:03.320 get how it felt before. So just getting over that 0:21:03.440 --> 0:21:06.280 mentally was probably, you know, the longest stretch that I've 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:09.040 had to go through where I'm like, you know, can 0:21:09.119 --> 0:21:12.520 I do this? I feel like I'm going to ask 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:15.160 something where it's going to take us maybe somewhere we've 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:18.199 never gone before. But when Darren was asking about what 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:21.159 it was like with the mental thoughts. But it reminds 0:21:21.200 --> 0:21:23.040 me of a conversation I was having with my partner 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:26.680 the other night about hormones and like dealing with all 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:29.040 of that and how much of a mind fuck that 0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:32.080 can be. And I remember an old X that I 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:34.679 had that was going through a process with hormones and 0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:39.639 doing the whole um harvesting her or getting her eggs, 0:21:39.680 --> 0:21:43.480 and I just remember the emotional roller coaster ride that 0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:46.240 went on. I remember one time she she cried because 0:21:46.240 --> 0:21:48.560 I used your yoga Matt. I mean, I just don't 0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:51.520 we don't understand that. As guys, we don't understand that. 0:21:51.600 --> 0:21:54.080 Like I'm taking it personally, like what's wrong with you? 0:21:54.119 --> 0:21:56.720 But there's actually like a full So I don't know 0:21:56.760 --> 0:21:58.959 where this is gonna go. But I'm just curious, like, 0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:01.520 and we have a lot female listener, so maybe we can. 0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:04.120 And this is great education actually for the male listeners 0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:08.000 to be able to understand that process, but for you 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:11.119 to go through that and then also creating this comeback 0:22:11.119 --> 0:22:13.200 to get on the court and then be a mom. 0:22:13.640 --> 0:22:16.080 Can you tell us a little bit about that experience. 0:22:17.560 --> 0:22:19.840 The hormones are crazy. It's not your fault. Let me 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:23.639 just tell you, Like, because there's instances like the yoga 0:22:23.640 --> 0:22:25.679 map where you're like, Okay, I know I'm being irrational, 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:28.360 but I can't help it. But there's other instances where 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:30.879 it's just like you feel like you're one hundred percent right, 0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:32.960 and then looking back now that I have like a 0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:36.040 clear head, I'm like, I was actually crazy. But they 0:22:36.119 --> 0:22:38.520 mess with your head. I mean obviously the hormones, Like 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:41.720 it's a chemical imbalance in your brain that's not usually there, 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:45.640 So you're crying over everything, like you're irritable over everything, 0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:48.960 and then it starts to feel normal. I'm like, is 0:22:48.960 --> 0:22:50.560 it me or is it the hormones? I don't know, 0:22:51.200 --> 0:22:53.960 so I think it was probably rougher on Alex because 0:22:54.760 --> 0:22:57.280 he's on the how to deal with it, But yeah, 0:22:57.320 --> 0:22:59.320 the hormones are crazy, and there's so much stuff I 0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:02.320 didn't know either, Like there are hormones that relax your 0:23:02.400 --> 0:23:04.440 entire body, which was one of the reasons why it 0:23:04.480 --> 0:23:06.440 was so hard for me to get back in shape, 0:23:06.480 --> 0:23:09.040 Like so your pregnant belly, your abs are on the 0:23:09.040 --> 0:23:11.359 side like this, so they're that spread out and you 0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:13.320 have to get them back together. Where they were, which 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:17.040 is not easy. And then breastfeeding continues to have that 0:23:17.880 --> 0:23:20.600 hormone release in your body which makes everything relax, so 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:22.639 you have no fast switch muscles, so that means you 0:23:22.680 --> 0:23:24.400 can't jump, I means you can't go side to side 0:23:24.400 --> 0:23:27.480 to defend. And those don't go back for a full 0:23:27.560 --> 0:23:31.399 year after you stop breastfeeding, So technically my joints are 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:33.480 still not as like strong as they were before or 0:23:33.560 --> 0:23:35.639 as fused together as they were before. So it's just 0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:38.840 like such a process and there's so many different hormones 0:23:38.920 --> 0:23:41.520 doing so many different things. It's just it's a lot 0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:45.000 that I didn't know either. The women are the real 0:23:45.000 --> 0:23:47.320 heroes of this world. I keep thinking, over sure, we 0:23:48.160 --> 0:23:52.720 got it pretty easy over here, about were there moments 0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:56.680 in your pregnancy where you had maybe like a fear 0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:59.680 of missing out on basketball or you know, was there 0:23:59.680 --> 0:24:03.560 pressure or like you making this decision, like one, is 0:24:03.560 --> 0:24:07.720 this something that a lot of players in your league 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:10.920 fear doing to to start a family, And what was 0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:15.160 it like mustering up the courage to do it? If 0:24:15.240 --> 0:24:17.600 you were really having these thoughts about I don't know, 0:24:17.760 --> 0:24:19.600 what's this going to do to my career? Like what 0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:24.320 was that like yeah, so um me, it was like 0:24:24.320 --> 0:24:27.280 a happy surprise. And so it's not like I planned 0:24:27.320 --> 0:24:29.840 her and I was thinking about the season, but as 0:24:29.840 --> 0:24:31.960 soon as I found out, I was pregnant. Like calling 0:24:32.000 --> 0:24:34.280 my coaches one of my first thoughts because I knew 0:24:34.320 --> 0:24:36.040 she had to think about the season. So it's definitely 0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:39.160 a thought in your head. And I mean it's actually 0:24:39.160 --> 0:24:40.720 a problem now. I mean, I'm sure you guys have 0:24:40.760 --> 0:24:44.760 seen like the drama surrounding Deerica in just like it's 0:24:44.800 --> 0:24:49.160 hard because we have a new CBA that has often 0:24:49.680 --> 0:24:51.960 awesome benefits from others. So like I got my full 0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:55.040 salary even if I didn't play a game. There's other accommodations, 0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:57.520 but it's still like the money comes off the salary 0:24:57.560 --> 0:25:00.040 cap for us. So it's still like a It's a 0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.440 bad thing for teams because you're having a player that's 0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:05.600 not playing be self to pay for them, and so 0:25:05.720 --> 0:25:08.080 it could still have like repercussions for the player because 0:25:08.400 --> 0:25:11.240 maybe I don't want to hire a player that's in childbirth, 0:25:11.320 --> 0:25:14.120 that is straight, or that is thinking about having a child, 0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:16.119 or that you know, all these things. They have to 0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:18.880 take that into consideration now, which is bad for the players. 0:25:19.440 --> 0:25:21.080 So it's still like kind of a bad thing that 0:25:21.080 --> 0:25:24.240 you have to think about. So, I mean that's something 0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:26.560 that we have to change in our league. And yeah, 0:25:26.600 --> 0:25:27.920 I mean it's always in the back of your mind. 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:29.240 If you want a child, these are the things that 0:25:29.240 --> 0:25:31.680 you have to think about because it could have negative 0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.440 you know, a reaction with your team or potential teams. 0:25:37.640 --> 0:25:41.280 For maybe a future w NBA player that's going to say, hey, 0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:43.639 I'm still going to go this route despite what a 0:25:43.720 --> 0:25:46.800 team may think, or despite what repercussions there are, because 0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:49.360 I want to start a family. How would you help them? 0:25:49.359 --> 0:25:51.399 What words would you give them to be able to 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:53.919 focus on the blessing that it is as opposed to 0:25:53.960 --> 0:25:57.320 maybe the pressure that is pushing them on the career 0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:00.440 side of their life. Yeah, it's they want to have 0:26:00.520 --> 0:26:02.879 a family. One hundred percent I would encourage them to 0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:04.760 do that. I mean, she's, you know, the best thing 0:26:04.800 --> 0:26:07.240 that's ever happened to me, and it's so special and 0:26:07.280 --> 0:26:11.639 there's so much more to life than basketball in your career. 0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:14.040 So one hundred percent I would say, don't let that 0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:16.760 be the reason to stop you. Um, it's definitely something 0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:19.400 you have to consider, but it shouldn't be a deterrent 0:26:19.440 --> 0:26:21.200 at all. And that's kind of my point with where 0:26:21.240 --> 0:26:23.719 we need to get with our league. It's so special 0:26:23.720 --> 0:26:26.800 to have a families. And if they are worried about 0:26:26.800 --> 0:26:28.679 the team, I would say, maybe try to plan it 0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:32.280 so you could be back for the next season, But 0:26:32.840 --> 0:26:34.639 I don't know I would. I would definitely encourage them 0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:37.280 if they're thinking about it, because it's just the best thing. Ever. 0:26:38.400 --> 0:26:40.920 What are you learning? What are you learning from your daughter? 0:26:42.200 --> 0:26:47.600 What are some lessons you're a new teacher? Yeah, seriously, 0:26:48.280 --> 0:26:51.960 I'm learning that she controls the entire household and I'm 0:26:52.080 --> 0:26:55.840 learning that, Uh, I guess, just like how to let 0:26:55.880 --> 0:27:00.440 someone be themselves entirely because with a person like I mean, 0:27:00.440 --> 0:27:02.439 she's a person obviously, but like with an adult, you 0:27:02.480 --> 0:27:04.639 can like converse back and forth like why are you 0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:07.680 doing this? Or what's your motive behind this? And with her, 0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:11.280 she's just on herself. Everything she's doing is like based 0:27:11.280 --> 0:27:13.840 off an instinct. So it's just really kind of cool 0:27:13.920 --> 0:27:17.119 to see like how she goes about her day to 0:27:17.200 --> 0:27:19.200 day things like why are you doing that? And it's 0:27:19.200 --> 0:27:21.640 just it just really makes you appreciate who people are 0:27:21.800 --> 0:27:23.919 and just like I guess who they are in like 0:27:23.920 --> 0:27:26.439 their purest sense because there's nothing that's happened to her 0:27:26.520 --> 0:27:30.959 to mold her like into a personality yet, but she 0:27:31.040 --> 0:27:33.480 has so much so it's just like it's so I 0:27:33.520 --> 0:27:34.879 don't know, it's just like I don't know how to 0:27:34.920 --> 0:27:37.000 explain it properly, but it's just really cool to see 0:27:37.040 --> 0:27:40.520 like a personality that hasn't been molded. It's just like 0:27:40.560 --> 0:27:42.920 who she is. I don't know if I explained that, right, Yeah, 0:27:43.160 --> 0:27:45.200 I feel that because like I'm I'm sitting here, I'm 0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:48.240 not a parent, but I'm thinking, like if I were 0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.760 to have a kid like I feel like that would 0:27:50.800 --> 0:27:53.400 be the real true test of like unconditional love, because 0:27:53.400 --> 0:27:57.080 it's like this little cute little person can do nothing 0:27:57.080 --> 0:28:01.200 for me. They cannot like, and I'm caring for them 0:28:01.400 --> 0:28:03.480 all their needs, all the things that I have to 0:28:03.560 --> 0:28:07.080 do for them and serve them without getting anything in return. 0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:10.359 And I feel like that's such a lesson right there, 0:28:10.720 --> 0:28:13.960 in love and acceptance of people where they are in 0:28:14.040 --> 0:28:17.120 their situation. Like we have grown people out here that 0:28:17.200 --> 0:28:20.880 are you know, babies and toddlers and emotional intelligence, but 0:28:20.960 --> 0:28:24.200 we if we have to accept these people where they are, 0:28:24.320 --> 0:28:26.520 even though you know, they may not be producing a 0:28:26.560 --> 0:28:29.639 whole lot in their lives, Like you know, I feel 0:28:29.640 --> 0:28:31.320 like something like that would be the ultimate lesson in 0:28:31.320 --> 0:28:34.560 teaching you, like, I can love this person even though 0:28:34.560 --> 0:28:36.480 they can't do anything for me, because we naturally we 0:28:36.560 --> 0:28:38.400 love people when it's like, oh, they they got our back, 0:28:38.480 --> 0:28:40.200 or they can you know, give us a hook up 0:28:40.320 --> 0:28:42.080 or you know what I'm saying. Yeah, and it sounds 0:28:42.120 --> 0:28:45.040 like not only can they oh sorry, no, you go ahead. 0:28:46.160 --> 0:28:47.840 I was gonna say, not only can they not do 0:28:47.880 --> 0:28:50.320 anything for you, but they literally just take and take from, 0:28:50.360 --> 0:28:52.959 take fromute, and then you'll just you don't care like 0:28:53.040 --> 0:28:54.920 you want them. You want to give them everything that 0:28:54.960 --> 0:28:56.640 you have, and you the love that you have is 0:28:56.680 --> 0:28:58.959 so unconditional, so it is, like you said, just so 0:28:59.040 --> 0:29:01.680 pure because they're not going to give you anything, it's 0:29:01.720 --> 0:29:03.280 just but then the way that they look at you, 0:29:03.320 --> 0:29:04.960 it feels like the best gifts in the world. So 0:29:05.000 --> 0:29:07.080 it feels like they are giving you something because the 0:29:07.160 --> 0:29:09.800 unconditional love it goes with ways. When if you do 0:29:09.880 --> 0:29:11.800 become a parent, you'll know, just like the way that 0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:13.800 they look at you, they feel that same love back. 0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:17.120 And it's awesome. Yeah, I had done some deep medicine 0:29:17.120 --> 0:29:18.520 work a year a little over a year and a 0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:21.400 half ago, and one of the pre integration questions was 0:29:21.680 --> 0:29:24.239 what part of you do you want to reclaim? And 0:29:24.320 --> 0:29:27.080 for me, it was my childlike heart. I feel like 0:29:27.120 --> 0:29:29.800 at some point like I didn't really laugh out loud 0:29:29.840 --> 0:29:32.959 and it didn't feel natural to laugh out loud. And 0:29:33.120 --> 0:29:37.040 since then, kids whatever age, younger kids, I live over 0:29:37.240 --> 0:29:39.280 on the beach in San Diego and watching kids on 0:29:39.320 --> 0:29:42.520 the beach and just they're my teachers of that whole 0:29:42.520 --> 0:29:45.520 idea of never losing your childlike heart. I think as 0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:49.120 we grow older and pain starts to happen to us, 0:29:49.840 --> 0:29:52.320 our emotional needs aren't met, we start to get hard, 0:29:52.680 --> 0:29:54.960 and we start to close our hearts and protect and 0:29:55.480 --> 0:29:57.120 what I hear you saying, and now that it's just 0:29:57.160 --> 0:30:01.520 that that pure, that childlike joy, that bound authenticity. They're 0:30:01.520 --> 0:30:04.400 not worried about when anybody else thinks of them. So 0:30:04.440 --> 0:30:06.480 there's just amazing lessons to be able to sit back 0:30:06.480 --> 0:30:09.320 and watch them. That's what I'm learning. And every time 0:30:09.360 --> 0:30:11.800 I see a child now, it's like I just see 0:30:11.840 --> 0:30:14.320 the joy. I see them making sandcastles or running away 0:30:14.320 --> 0:30:17.479 from the waves and It's a great reminder and it truly, 0:30:17.520 --> 0:30:25.520 truly has helped me getting back to like your mindset 0:30:25.640 --> 0:30:30.240 mental health. Darren and I are often talking about routines, rituals, habits. 0:30:30.480 --> 0:30:32.480 What does that look like. Do you have a morning routine? 0:30:32.520 --> 0:30:37.080 What are your like, your mantras, your affirmations, your anchors. 0:30:37.160 --> 0:30:41.280 Do you have a meditation practice? What does that look like? Yeah, 0:30:41.320 --> 0:30:44.160 what are your practices to keep your mind right? Yeah? 0:30:44.200 --> 0:30:46.080 I don't have a meditation, but I really need to. 0:30:46.360 --> 0:30:47.920 I've been thinking about it for a long time and 0:30:47.960 --> 0:30:50.720 I just really just need to pull the trigger. The 0:30:50.720 --> 0:30:53.400 problem is I am not a huge I'm super go 0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:56.040 with the flow, but then having a kid like makes 0:30:56.040 --> 0:30:58.320 you not be like that. So that's another thing I've 0:30:58.400 --> 0:30:59.920 learned from her is like you have to be honest 0:31:00.000 --> 0:31:02.280 schedule and it just really goes against everything in me. 0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:06.040 So that's been kind of the biggest adjustment. And so 0:31:06.080 --> 0:31:08.960 now my morning looks like wake up around like five 0:31:09.080 --> 0:31:13.200 five thirty, feed Mela, you know, usually go to a workout, 0:31:13.280 --> 0:31:15.720 lift basketball, come back, take your meal for the rest 0:31:15.720 --> 0:31:17.840 of the day. Yeah, put me a little bed, and 0:31:17.880 --> 0:31:22.200 then we kind of have my like kneetime again, you know. 0:31:22.240 --> 0:31:26.680 I love like reading, watching shows and movies. But my day, 0:31:26.760 --> 0:31:29.280 my schedule kind of revolves around her, so she's kind 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:31.280 of the one that has put me on that Now. 0:31:32.160 --> 0:31:35.840 Is there anything that you've gotten away from, like anything 0:31:35.880 --> 0:31:38.080 you'd like to be doing in your self care practice 0:31:38.120 --> 0:31:40.480 that you're not doing now, Maybe something you were doing 0:31:40.560 --> 0:31:45.160 before and because you have someone to care for now 0:31:45.200 --> 0:31:47.360 and not you don't have as much time, you've gotten 0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:49.360 away from that, or anything else that you know you 0:31:49.400 --> 0:31:52.720 want to bring in that you haven't yet. Yeah, for sure, 0:31:52.760 --> 0:31:58.680 I'd love to bring back naps. I was a big nappers. Yeah, 0:31:59.200 --> 0:32:01.680 I do try to, like because I know that mental 0:32:01.720 --> 0:32:03.480 health is such a big thing. I do try to 0:32:03.560 --> 0:32:06.080 keep like some of my same practices, like skincare. I 0:32:06.120 --> 0:32:08.280 try to make sure that I'm doing my skincare every day, 0:32:08.480 --> 0:32:10.080 and it just makes me feel a little bit better 0:32:10.160 --> 0:32:11.800 just to know that I'm taking care of myself in 0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:14.680 that way. There of course, there's a lot of stuff 0:32:14.720 --> 0:32:16.360 that I used to do before that I just don't 0:32:16.360 --> 0:32:18.200 have time for anymore. I mean, I could just spend 0:32:18.200 --> 0:32:21.120 a whole day like I love binging shows. I could 0:32:21.120 --> 0:32:22.880 spend a whole day meaging a show before or like 0:32:22.960 --> 0:32:27.520 reading a book or napping, So just things like that 0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:30.000 that you know I used to do those before, but 0:32:30.120 --> 0:32:32.040 I do try to take like some time in the 0:32:32.120 --> 0:32:35.520 day just for myself. I would love to add meditation 0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:38.480 to it. Though you might be talking to the right person. 0:32:38.520 --> 0:32:39.880 I might be able to help you out a little bit. 0:32:39.920 --> 0:32:43.400 I teach yoga and meditation. And it's interesting that when 0:32:43.440 --> 0:32:45.239 I tell it's usually men that I tell that I 0:32:45.280 --> 0:32:48.400 teach meditation, and they'll say I can't meditate. My mind 0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:51.440 never stops thinking, or they say I can't meditate. I 0:32:51.520 --> 0:32:54.640 don't have the time to meditate. But meditation actually gives 0:32:54.640 --> 0:32:58.080 you more time because what it ultimately does is cultivate 0:32:58.160 --> 0:33:01.480 more awareness, and then you start to notice the things 0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:03.520 that you're that are stressing you out that you don't 0:33:03.560 --> 0:33:06.480 have control over um. And the awareness is the first 0:33:06.480 --> 0:33:08.840 step in creating any kind of change in your life. 0:33:08.840 --> 0:33:12.280 And so when we are aware that our minds going 0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:15.440 down some road and we're worrying about something that happened yesterday, 0:33:15.480 --> 0:33:17.959 or we're trying to change somebody that we don't have 0:33:18.040 --> 0:33:22.040 control over, the awareness brings us we don't waste time 0:33:22.040 --> 0:33:24.640 on it anymore, and we don't waste energy. So the 0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:27.680 hack is it's actually it actually gives you more time. 0:33:27.720 --> 0:33:30.160 It opens up your perspective and opens up your life 0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:33.959 because you're gonna you're gonna be more aware. Ultimately might 0:33:34.120 --> 0:33:36.560 hell you bafter the show? Then yeah, I got you 0:33:36.880 --> 0:33:41.240 the man right trust me? Um, I want to ask you, 0:33:41.280 --> 0:33:43.640 like you said earlier, Um, No, life is a lot 0:33:43.720 --> 0:33:46.560 more than basketball. How do you balance that going forward? 0:33:46.600 --> 0:33:50.200 As I'm sure you still want to have longevity in 0:33:50.240 --> 0:33:53.000 your career, but at the same time, you know, having 0:33:53.040 --> 0:33:55.840 your daughter an account, Um, what do you what do 0:33:55.880 --> 0:33:59.120 you imagine the future for yourself looking like, whether it 0:33:59.160 --> 0:34:02.920 be certain product jakes or certain fields, certain passions like 0:34:03.000 --> 0:34:05.120 do you what have you come up with or thought 0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:09.400 about so far as what that might look like? For sure, basketball, 0:34:09.440 --> 0:34:11.440 like career wise, is still my number one thing. I 0:34:11.440 --> 0:34:12.960 want to play for as long as my body will 0:34:13.040 --> 0:34:14.920 let me. And so that's kind of my number one 0:34:14.960 --> 0:34:17.960 goal right now is to make sure that I'm putting 0:34:17.960 --> 0:34:21.319 my body in the right like physical shape. I guess 0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:23.839 to be able to do that because longevity is, you know, 0:34:24.040 --> 0:34:27.960 so hard, it's like the hardest thing. So I'm doing 0:34:28.000 --> 0:34:30.120 rehab almost every day on my by just making sure 0:34:30.160 --> 0:34:32.600 that everything's up to part you know, obviously eating healthy, 0:34:32.680 --> 0:34:35.800 working out things like that, because I mean, my number 0:34:35.800 --> 0:34:40.160 one career goal right now is basketball related, and then 0:34:40.200 --> 0:34:43.399 other than that, like after basketball, Like that's a million 0:34:43.440 --> 0:34:45.279 dollar question. I just I want to find what my 0:34:45.280 --> 0:34:48.440 passion is, and so I've been exploring different a lot 0:34:48.480 --> 0:34:52.480 of different kind of career paths. I guess because I 0:34:51.760 --> 0:34:53.720 want to I want to be able to do something 0:34:53.719 --> 0:34:57.040 after I graduate, or graduate after I retire that is 0:34:57.080 --> 0:34:59.160 like meaningful to me and not just a job that 0:34:59.200 --> 0:35:02.359 I have to take as I'm done playing. I love 0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:06.400 that a lot. I'm really interested in knowing certain people's 0:35:06.480 --> 0:35:09.120 leadership styles. You're somebody that's accomplished a lot, but at 0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:12.239 the same time, you've also overcome a lot mentally and 0:35:12.680 --> 0:35:15.719 overcome a lot of different situations of adversity. So how 0:35:15.719 --> 0:35:18.719 do you go about trying to be a leader and 0:35:18.880 --> 0:35:21.480 encouraging these young players that may have a two week 0:35:21.520 --> 0:35:24.399 stretch in training camp like you had in your rookie year, 0:35:24.520 --> 0:35:26.120 Like what kind of thing is do you try to 0:35:26.200 --> 0:35:27.719 instill in them? How do you try to show up 0:35:27.719 --> 0:35:32.200 for them along their journey? Yeah, So, well, first of all, 0:35:32.239 --> 0:35:34.120 I haven't been in training camp since I was a rookie, 0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:37.680 so this will be my first one since then. Yeah, 0:35:37.719 --> 0:35:40.240 so we'll see how my leadership is in that specific 0:35:40.800 --> 0:35:45.280 like instance. But you know, before, like especially in college, 0:35:45.480 --> 0:35:48.880 I would say my leadership style was show by example. 0:35:50.400 --> 0:35:53.120 But as I've come into the league and you know, 0:35:53.320 --> 0:35:56.279 become like more of a captain and like focal point 0:35:56.320 --> 0:35:59.359 for Minnesota, I know that my leadership style has had 0:35:59.400 --> 0:36:03.000 to grow and so just becoming more vocal. It's not 0:36:03.040 --> 0:36:05.960 like naturally for me to be that kind of person, 0:36:06.440 --> 0:36:08.560 but over the years, I feel like I've grown in 0:36:08.600 --> 0:36:10.800 that area and it's something that I'm really going to 0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:13.319 have to put to the chest this year because I 0:36:13.320 --> 0:36:15.400 am the main person on our team now you know, 0:36:15.480 --> 0:36:19.000 Sylvia's retired and so that falls on my shoulders now. 0:36:19.040 --> 0:36:22.080 So I'm excited to be able to answer your question 0:36:22.120 --> 0:36:24.560 better after this season because I'm going to try to 0:36:24.560 --> 0:36:26.800 implement everything that I've learned and to this point into 0:36:26.880 --> 0:36:30.160 my leadership style this in this season. I love that 0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:33.000 because I mean that's I mean, if there's anything me 0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:35.320 and Donnie stand on, it's that none of this stuff 0:36:35.320 --> 0:36:37.880 that we preach about or that we talk about or 0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:40.520 discuss like, we don't have any of this stuff completely 0:36:40.520 --> 0:36:43.399 figured out. We're continuing to learn, continuing to practice along 0:36:43.440 --> 0:36:47.240 the way. So definitely excited to see how that happens 0:36:47.280 --> 0:36:50.000 for you going forward. You know, really become a fan 0:36:50.120 --> 0:36:52.080 of the w over the last couple of years, real 0:36:52.120 --> 0:36:55.680 good friend of the show, Kelsey Plumb. Really just being 0:36:55.719 --> 0:36:58.919 in that environment, seeing your team come to town, really 0:36:58.960 --> 0:37:01.640 all the teams in the league. But I say all 0:37:01.640 --> 0:37:03.719 I have to say, I'm excited to see what you 0:37:03.800 --> 0:37:05.160 do in the imprint that you have on the young 0:37:05.200 --> 0:37:09.200 players or your team. Awesome, Thank you. How do you 0:37:09.280 --> 0:37:12.400 be in the leader now? How do you deal with pressure? 0:37:12.920 --> 0:37:15.279 Are there tools? How do you work through it? Who 0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:17.479 do you talk to? What does that look like these days? 0:37:20.680 --> 0:37:23.799 I've actually never minded like outside pressure before. I think 0:37:23.840 --> 0:37:28.319 I'm definitely my hardest critic, so outside pressure, I think 0:37:28.320 --> 0:37:31.520 that just makes you better. So I actually like when 0:37:31.560 --> 0:37:33.400 we have those kind of pressures, and the way that 0:37:33.440 --> 0:37:37.359 I think I deal with it is I don't know, 0:37:37.520 --> 0:37:39.719 especially I think when I get off the court, I 0:37:39.760 --> 0:37:42.360 just really decompressed. So I don't want to watch, especially 0:37:42.400 --> 0:37:43.960 if I'm going through a slump, like the way that 0:37:44.040 --> 0:37:45.600 to get me out of it. The fastest is I 0:37:45.640 --> 0:37:47.759 don't want to watch like film, I don't want to 0:37:47.760 --> 0:37:50.040 watch basketball. I just want to separate myself from it, 0:37:50.080 --> 0:37:52.520 and it allows me to recharge. So if I ever 0:37:52.560 --> 0:37:56.000 feel myself coming under too much pressure from myself or 0:37:56.120 --> 0:37:58.279 you know, if I'm playing beat or something like that, 0:37:58.760 --> 0:38:02.279 I think, just like separating myself from sports for a 0:38:02.320 --> 0:38:04.919 little bit, as that's what I found is like kind 0:38:04.920 --> 0:38:07.200 of recharges my battery, fills up my cup again where 0:38:07.200 --> 0:38:09.360 I'm able to go to practice the next day and 0:38:09.400 --> 0:38:11.880 attack it like I understand what I did wrong. I 0:38:11.880 --> 0:38:14.359 don't need to harp over it, and just like start 0:38:14.400 --> 0:38:18.320 the new day. I'm going back to what you said earlier. 0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:20.440 I might be bias about the meditation thing, but I'm 0:38:20.440 --> 0:38:22.759 thinking back to what you said about you will play 0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:25.040 for as long as your body allows you to. And 0:38:25.120 --> 0:38:27.600 I think this is the power the essence of meditation 0:38:27.640 --> 0:38:30.560 and mindfulness and really understanding the power of the mind 0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:33.680 body connection because our body goes along for this like 0:38:33.719 --> 0:38:36.640 emotional roller coaster ride by the madness that happens in 0:38:36.680 --> 0:38:40.759 our minds. And so the essence of these practices are 0:38:40.800 --> 0:38:43.160 to really use the mind to work for us and 0:38:43.200 --> 0:38:45.080 not against us, and to be our best friend and 0:38:45.120 --> 0:38:46.759 not our worst enemy. And I think a lot of 0:38:46.800 --> 0:38:50.680 times that voice, that inner voice, that inner critic who 0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:54.040 puts that pressure in that perfectionism on us, can drive 0:38:54.120 --> 0:38:55.960 us and it gets us to the top. But how 0:38:56.000 --> 0:38:58.840 do we make it sustainable then? And I think that's 0:38:58.960 --> 0:39:01.719 why we want to put more emphasis on taking care 0:39:01.719 --> 0:39:03.640 of our mind and taking care of our mental health 0:39:03.680 --> 0:39:07.399 because there's no separation. So this isn't just to sell 0:39:07.480 --> 0:39:09.879 you on meditation. I think it's for anybody, any high 0:39:09.880 --> 0:39:14.000 perform or anybody that's feeling banged up in their body. 0:39:14.360 --> 0:39:16.200 A lot of times, you know that big ass not 0:39:16.360 --> 0:39:19.040 we get in like our shoulders in our neck. That's 0:39:19.080 --> 0:39:21.920 not physical. It's like it's coming from our thoughts. It's 0:39:21.960 --> 0:39:24.080 coming from our mind. It's coming from stress. And all 0:39:24.120 --> 0:39:26.920 stress is really wanting the moment to be something that 0:39:27.000 --> 0:39:28.920 it's not right. So it goes back to that like 0:39:29.120 --> 0:39:32.560 awareness of noticing when we're trying to control something and 0:39:32.600 --> 0:39:35.040 then we just got to let that shit go. And 0:39:35.239 --> 0:39:38.800 it's cool because Darren and I name this podcast Comeback Stories, 0:39:38.800 --> 0:39:41.560 and it has like multiple meanings, but a lot of 0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:44.960 the essence of meditation is to come back. So it's 0:39:44.960 --> 0:39:47.319 not about not thinking. People think it's like I'm gonna 0:39:47.320 --> 0:39:49.120 sit and not think. But if you try not to think, 0:39:49.120 --> 0:39:52.480 you're just going to think more. Because what we resist persists, 0:39:52.520 --> 0:39:55.000 it ends up causing more. So you just sit back 0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:57.400 and observe what you're thinking about, and it starts to 0:39:57.400 --> 0:40:01.400 create awareness. Because we have six to seventy thousand thoughts 0:40:01.400 --> 0:40:04.319 a day, that's what the research says, and ninety percent 0:40:04.360 --> 0:40:06.240 of those thoughts are the same thoughts we had yesterday. 0:40:06.280 --> 0:40:08.799 So basically we're thinking about the same shit, and the 0:40:08.880 --> 0:40:11.160 things that have us stressed out are the same things 0:40:11.200 --> 0:40:13.919 that we were thinking about yesterday. But it's only through 0:40:13.960 --> 0:40:17.200 awareness that we can actually change that and find a 0:40:17.200 --> 0:40:21.600 little freedom from like those patterns of thinking. So yeah, 0:40:21.680 --> 0:40:23.520 we can definitely talk more. I can talk about this 0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:26.560 stuff all day long. But it's just the power of 0:40:26.600 --> 0:40:28.400 the mind. And if we do want to play, and 0:40:28.440 --> 0:40:32.440 we want our bodies to be sustainable and last in 0:40:32.480 --> 0:40:34.640 life or on the court, then we gotta we gotta 0:40:34.719 --> 0:40:38.880 protect our peace and protect our mind. I totally agree 0:40:38.880 --> 0:40:41.080 with you. I think the game in any game is 0:40:41.080 --> 0:40:44.279 like eighty percent mental, twenty percent physical. You see so 0:40:44.280 --> 0:40:48.080 many players that like they might not be the most talented, 0:40:48.160 --> 0:40:50.759 but their confidence is so I mean, Kelsey Palum's a 0:40:50.760 --> 0:40:53.319 great example, Like she's so confident everything that she does, 0:40:53.400 --> 0:40:56.760 it's made her a great player. Like she's obviously athletic 0:40:56.800 --> 0:40:59.560 and talented, but there's players who are more talented, but 0:40:59.640 --> 0:41:02.440 she's better than them because of her mentality. So I 0:41:02.480 --> 0:41:04.120 had one hundred percent greath And I think you see 0:41:04.120 --> 0:41:06.680 it so many times in sports, like if you're mentally 0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:08.640 there and you're confident what you're doing, it can make 0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:11.040 up for so much. Yeah, I mean, look no further 0:41:11.120 --> 0:41:13.160 than this guy over here in this brown shirts and 0:41:13.239 --> 0:41:16.040 at the table. I mean that made the entire difference 0:41:16.040 --> 0:41:20.240 in my career. You can ask people like I remember 0:41:21.040 --> 0:41:22.600 one of the first games that I had was a 0:41:22.600 --> 0:41:24.839 big game with like the Raiders or like a big 0:41:24.960 --> 0:41:27.600 nationally telefies games in twenty twenty, and some of my 0:41:27.600 --> 0:41:30.319 teammates from Baltimore were like about time, Like you used 0:41:30.360 --> 0:41:33.200 to go for like two hundred yards in practice, like regularly, 0:41:33.239 --> 0:41:35.040 And I'm like, and I look back on that, I'm like, 0:41:35.120 --> 0:41:38.319 the talent was there to be able to produce and 0:41:38.400 --> 0:41:41.319 make an impact then, but everything going on in my mind, 0:41:41.320 --> 0:41:45.080 everything going on and just my spirit overall was not there. 0:41:45.480 --> 0:41:48.480 And to be able to step away and to get 0:41:48.520 --> 0:41:50.839 those things in tact and to be recentered, and then 0:41:50.880 --> 0:41:53.719 to come back into the world with a purpose and 0:41:53.760 --> 0:41:57.319 to come back into the game with humility and a 0:41:57.400 --> 0:41:59.680 new found confidence in myself. To be able to just 0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:02.680 go through the process like we were talking about earlier, 0:42:02.680 --> 0:42:04.279 like when you were a freshman, Like to be able 0:42:04.280 --> 0:42:06.799 to let go and allow things to happen based off 0:42:06.840 --> 0:42:09.040 the way that work and I approach it bam, like 0:42:09.120 --> 0:42:12.560 things take off, you know, the platforms come, the brand comes, 0:42:12.640 --> 0:42:15.080 the you know, the numbers come and everything like that. 0:42:15.160 --> 0:42:19.480 So it's it's all internal, man, It's all internal. Yeah, 0:42:19.480 --> 0:42:22.440 as I've witnessed you on that journey, I feel like 0:42:22.480 --> 0:42:24.560 the two things that I've noticed the most that have 0:42:24.640 --> 0:42:27.320 helped you along that journey or learning to love yourself, 0:42:27.840 --> 0:42:29.960 which I love that the fact that we talk about 0:42:29.960 --> 0:42:32.640 this all the time, and I mentioned this often and 0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:34.600 it makes me smile every time, Like that's kind of 0:42:34.600 --> 0:42:37.239 my thing. Like my brand, I have a retreat that's 0:42:37.239 --> 0:42:39.680 called love Yourself. There's shirts on my website that say that. 0:42:39.719 --> 0:42:41.640 And this just wasn't the way that I was raised 0:42:42.160 --> 0:42:44.960 and it makes me super grateful to have, you know, 0:42:45.200 --> 0:42:48.160 share this platform with Darren who for many of the world, 0:42:48.160 --> 0:42:50.319 they look at a football player like the masculine of 0:42:50.360 --> 0:42:53.400 all masculine, you know, this manly man. But we're not, 0:42:53.560 --> 0:42:56.280 We're noticed. We're not even really talking about the actual sport. 0:42:56.320 --> 0:43:00.600 We're talking about everything else. But that so loving yourself 0:43:00.600 --> 0:43:05.280 and then I also thinkum figuring out like your purpose 0:43:05.360 --> 0:43:08.160 beyond the sport, right, So it's like you do so 0:43:08.200 --> 0:43:11.680 many other things with your with your music, with the podcast, 0:43:11.800 --> 0:43:15.279 with your foundation, with recovery, that it kind of takes 0:43:15.280 --> 0:43:18.879 the pressure off and you're not so overidentified with the 0:43:18.920 --> 0:43:22.720 performance of the sport and your whole happiness is based 0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:25.600 on if I do this, then I'm I'm good. So 0:43:25.680 --> 0:43:29.040 that's what I've been seeing from my perspective. I appreciate that, 0:43:29.440 --> 0:43:33.959 uh nafisa work. Can people find you? I mean, I'm 0:43:34.000 --> 0:43:36.760 i feel like I've grown a lot just in talking 0:43:36.800 --> 0:43:38.960 to you, and I'm inspired by your journey work, and 0:43:38.960 --> 0:43:41.239 people keep track of you on social media, things that 0:43:41.320 --> 0:43:44.279 you have going on. Where can people find you at? 0:43:46.160 --> 0:43:49.600 You can find me on Instagram with Nafisa twenty four 0:43:49.719 --> 0:43:51.960 and then I have a media company with my husband 0:43:51.960 --> 0:43:55.440 called Through the Lens. It's for athletes just basically, it's 0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:57.920 like a place for athletes to take back their power 0:43:57.920 --> 0:44:00.640 in a way where they can host like all of 0:44:00.680 --> 0:44:04.480 their content and reach their fans more easily. It just 0:44:04.520 --> 0:44:06.520 allows them to have a lot more access in control 0:44:06.560 --> 0:44:09.680 when it comes to their personal brands and making money. 0:44:10.800 --> 0:44:12.920 Can you close this out and maybe just tell us, like, 0:44:12.960 --> 0:44:16.479 what would you say to somebody that is struggling right now, 0:44:16.520 --> 0:44:21.120 maybe athlete, maybe non athlete. They know they're struggling, they're stuck, 0:44:21.160 --> 0:44:23.359 but they don't know what to do about it. Like 0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:26.480 what would you tell that person? I would tell them 0:44:26.520 --> 0:44:28.799 to just like take a step back from the situation 0:44:29.440 --> 0:44:32.160 and try to do something else. That's what always works 0:44:32.200 --> 0:44:35.400 best for me specifically, like in basketball, if I'm struggling 0:44:35.400 --> 0:44:37.840 with that, I try to do anything not basketball related 0:44:38.239 --> 0:44:39.880 and trying to just get out of that headspace for 0:44:39.880 --> 0:44:42.240 a little bit. So do something that brings you joy, 0:44:42.640 --> 0:44:45.720 whatever that is, you know, reading, going on a bike ride, 0:44:45.719 --> 0:44:48.640 going to a movie, and just kind of step away 0:44:48.640 --> 0:44:50.080 from it for a little bit and then come back 0:44:50.120 --> 0:44:52.400 to it with a new focus and like a renewed energy. 0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:56.359 That's always helped me so so beautiful, and I think 0:44:56.440 --> 0:44:58.759 that's what I see when I hear your story and 0:44:58.920 --> 0:45:01.480 you sharing is actually what's coming up from his perspective, 0:45:01.960 --> 0:45:03.759 and that's what happens when we take a step back. 0:45:03.840 --> 0:45:06.200 We can take a step back and see the bigger picture. 0:45:06.800 --> 0:45:10.399 And I just want to acknowledge you for your perspective 0:45:10.719 --> 0:45:13.560 and how far you've come in your story. It's been 0:45:13.600 --> 0:45:16.040 awesome to have you on the show. I'm super inspired 0:45:16.080 --> 0:45:19.200 and excited to talk to you more about meditation because 0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:21.840 I actually meditation helps you with perspective also, but I 0:45:21.880 --> 0:45:24.760 think you've got that part down, but we're always leveling 0:45:24.840 --> 0:45:28.560 up around here. I need some meditation, so I'm definitely 0:45:28.600 --> 0:45:31.400 gonna be hitting you up. Yeah, it's it's been amazing 0:45:31.440 --> 0:45:33.720 to have you on the show. I feel like there 0:45:33.760 --> 0:45:37.000 are women that can learn and be inspired by you 0:45:37.080 --> 0:45:41.719 from childhood to motherhood and everything in between, success, failure, adversity. 0:45:42.000 --> 0:45:44.799 So thank you for your time, thank you for being 0:45:44.840 --> 0:45:47.200 open on here and sharing about your experience. We're grateful 0:45:47.200 --> 0:45:48.799 for your time, and I hope you have great rest 0:45:48.840 --> 0:45:51.480 of your day. Awesome, thank you guys for having me. 0:45:51.480 --> 0:45:59.319 I had a good time. Yeah, what's up, comeback Stories, family, 0:45:59.360 --> 0:46:02.400 It's Donnie in here. So did you know that Darren 0:46:02.400 --> 0:46:06.040 and E's relationships started by me being his personal development, 0:46:06.200 --> 0:46:08.920 mindfulness and mindset coach. I want to let you know 0:46:08.960 --> 0:46:11.840 about both my one on one coaching program, The Shift, 0:46:11.920 --> 0:46:15.520 and my group Mastermind Elevate your Purpose. 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