WEBVTT - I CHOOSE ME LIVE BACKSTAGE: Devi Brown, Sarah Shahi & Jeannie Mai 0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:04.760 You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:12.600 Welcome back to I Choose Me, the podcast where remarkable 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:17.479 people share how they choose themselves through life's highs and lows. 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:21.600 I had the privilege of bringing some of these badasses 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:25.600 on stage for my second annual I Choose Me Live event, 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:29.560 and now I'm sharing them with you. My friend Callina 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:34.480 Strino sat down backstage with a wonderful spiritual leader Debbie Brown, 0:00:35.080 --> 0:00:40.000 the incredible Sarah Shahi, and the sparkling Genie May, who 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:43.879 is also Chief Brand Officer for Owlsbrew, which is a 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:49.000 female founded beverage brand that hosted our wonderful day. Thank 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:52.440 you Owls Brew for the Chelsea Handler's Vodka, Lemonade and 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:53.440 Spiked Pop. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:57.240 Here we go, I'm clean Astrina's backstage of the second 0:00:57.280 --> 0:01:00.520 annual I Choose Me Live Women's Empowerment. I'm and we 0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:03.560 have Debbie Brown. We're so excited to talk to you 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:06.440 because you are the MC today. 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:07.560 This is huge. 0:01:07.720 --> 0:01:08.800 How has it been so far? 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:11.520 Oh, it's been so fun. There is nothing I love 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:15.119 more than people getting together to really open their hearts 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:16.480 and learn about community. 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.560 So when you're up there and you're seeing all those 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:24.880 eyes looking back at you, and knowing that they're listening 0:01:24.920 --> 0:01:28.160 so intently to your every word, knowing that they're a 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.960 fan of your podcast and a fan of just you 0:01:31.280 --> 0:01:33.840 and all the words that you say to empower people. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:35.520 How does that make you feel? 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.559 I think it makes me feel very used by God. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:41.399 I think that's like the point of some of the 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:43.320 work that we get to do. You know, it's like 0:01:43.440 --> 0:01:46.760 using our gifts, of course, using our skills and our talents, 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:50.640 but really to be in service to the bigger story 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:53.279 happening on earth, you know, being in service to other people. 0:01:53.440 --> 0:01:55.680 So I think that's always the best thing. If you 0:01:55.720 --> 0:02:00.360 can say something that lands somewhere inside of someone that 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:05.080 produces any kind of freedom, it's just you're really grateful. 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:09.360 I'm really grateful your book Living in Wisdom. It helps 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:13.200 people get unstuck with daily health rituals. When someone is 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:17.840 feeling overwhelmed, or experiencing sadness, or just you know, stuck 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:19.520 in that moment where they don't feel like they can 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.480 really navigate their way out of it and don't even 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.040 know where to start. What are some things they can 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.680 do to try to begin that. 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:29.880 Process, you know, I think for all of us. We 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.000 want to rush through things quickly, and I know it's 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.440 so important that we do that because you know, life 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:38.440 moves fast. But I think everyone first we have to 0:02:38.480 --> 0:02:41.079 get into a place where we can give ourselves compassion 0:02:41.280 --> 0:02:44.239 and curiosity. So for any of us listening that are 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.800 you know, just overwhelmed or going through hard things like 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:50.919 we all go through sometimes really really hard things, taking 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.160 a second to honor your grief before you even try 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:56.520 to make your plan, to honor the feeling of like 0:02:56.840 --> 0:03:00.840 what's hurting? How did this happen? What is the better 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.320 feeling or experience that I want? And then kind of 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:07.160 moving towards how can I start to make that true 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.600 in my life? But I think so many things have 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:12.520 to start with our own compassion for ourselves and our 0:03:12.560 --> 0:03:15.040 ability to give ourselves some of our basic needs so 0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:18.359 we can make good choices, like getting as much sleep 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:22.400 as we possibly can, getting higher quality sleep, being able 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:24.560 to take a few deep breaths so your nervous system 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.840 can regulate enough so that you can have good ideas. 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:30.240 What are some things that you think people can do, 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:34.320 maybe if it's even only a minute a day or 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.400 five minutes a day, Because I feel like people will 0:03:36.480 --> 0:03:39.440 constantly say there's never enough time in the day. I 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:41.119 don't have time. I have to do all these things, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:44.720 and your brain gets overwhelmed with the list of things 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:47.720 you have to accomplish. So for those people who say 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:49.720 they only have thirty seconds to a minute a day 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.880 to themselves, what's that one thing that they can do 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:54.520 within that time that could help reset? 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.240 So I love this question so much, and I would say, one, 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:03.480 why are we relegating ourselves to thirty seconds to one 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.040 minute a day when everybody listening gives at least forty 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:10.080 five minutes a day to Instagram scrolling or to you know, 0:04:10.200 --> 0:04:15.040 couch rotting or binging whatever show. So one, I just 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:17.680 want everyone to start to think, do you only deserve 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.400 thirty seconds to a minute? I know, like we want 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.880 to push ourselves to get something done that fast, but 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:27.120 taking time with yourself is such a gift. But okay, 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:30.120 if we have limited time, Okay, if you have very 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:35.320 limited time. Something I think can be really surprisingly helpful 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:39.880 for people is to stand in a comfortable way, place 0:04:39.960 --> 0:04:42.760 one hand on your heart, place the other hand on. 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.040 Top of it, close your eyes. 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:48.120 Take three deep, full breaths, so really fill up your 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.480 belly side out with your mouth. I want you to 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:50.840 hear it. 0:04:55.000 --> 0:05:02.640 Wait, I want to do it here, Hold on a second, ah, 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:08.599 take a second, let that little bed of like silence 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.880 and relief fill your body and then just sway aside 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:14.839 to side and start. 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:26.520 To hum, activate a hum in your body. So yeah, 0:05:26.760 --> 0:05:30.000 whatever sound feels natural for you, and clearly you don't 0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:33.680 have to be a singer. Humming can help to reset 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.200 your nervous system, It can help to open your heart space, 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:39.840 it can help to release grief, relief, stress. So something 0:05:39.880 --> 0:05:44.400 that simple, stand in a comfortable way or sit, hold 0:05:44.440 --> 0:05:48.480 your heart, close your eyes, three deep breaths and hum 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:52.520 two minutes tops. But it really does give you a 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:57.520 feeling of being deeply centered, a little bit more competent 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:01.880 for your life, and just more you. Because when we're frazzled, 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.839 you lose your personality. That's the first thing that goes. 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:07.680 You're not who you say you are. We want to 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.159 be ourselves, we want to be the best of ourselves 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:12.719 in our lives, in our world. So something that brief 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:15.520 can definitely help you one just kind of reset for 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:17.840 the moment, but then work on some of the bigger 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:21.880 needs like getting better sleep, definitely maybe stretching that closing 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:25.239 eyes and touching your heart to like ten minutes than twenty, 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:27.400 but I think that would be a good start. 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:30.120 I think that's a great start. And it's something as 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:33.960 simple as that. For those thirty seconds to a minute, 0:06:34.160 --> 0:06:36.080 right when you get in the car, maybe right before 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:38.400 you make that phone call, maybe right before you have 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.159 to pick up your kids. You just take that brief 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:45.080 second for yourself and it could really reshape the next 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:46.960 couple hours of your day. 0:06:47.400 --> 0:06:49.719 That is so real and exactly the way that you 0:06:49.800 --> 0:06:52.599 identified it for everyone is how we should look at it. 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:55.320 It's not about making it perfect and saying, Okay, I 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:59.720 have my perfect zen room in my house. It's so instagrammable. Okay, 0:06:59.880 --> 0:07:01.880 the perfect cushion, I'm gonna sit down, I have my 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.919 little sweatsuit. Yeah yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. That is 0:07:05.960 --> 0:07:08.760 where your real life happens. That moment before you're about 0:07:08.800 --> 0:07:12.360 to have a challenging or important conversation on the phone, 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.960 take that breath, do that hum, that moment that you're 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:19.720 in the elevator by yourself, or sitting in traffic. We 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:22.880 have all of these little pockets that we could really 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:26.760 bless our lives if we use them differently, and it 0:07:26.840 --> 0:07:30.720 does just like you said that two minutes can change 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:34.160 the trajectory of the next like two to twelve hours 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.080 in ways that can really benefit our lives. 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.600 I feel like a lot of people have shifted from, 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:43.680 you know, especially parents, feeling guilty taking time to themselves 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:46.000 to now wanting to do that. And Jenny does a 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:48.600 great job of just encouraging people to say, hey, it's 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:51.679 not selfish to take that second or two or ten minutes, 0:07:51.720 --> 0:07:55.400 twenty minutes an hour for yourself. You should really actually 0:07:55.560 --> 0:07:57.800 do that and it'll be so beneficial in the future. 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:00.160 What are some things that you've done recently to make 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:02.320 sure you chose yourself. 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.240 Oh my gosh, it's so funny because that's the part 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.640 that I always definitely have to work hard on as 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.120 someone that helps heal with other people, I'm like, you 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.320 need some of this too. So I'm a mama of 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:15.920 a eight year old in two weeks, and. 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:20.240 I would endulation, Oh my gosh. 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:22.320 It's the absolute best. But you know, you're right to 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.840 your point. It's like life in general is a lot, 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.240 so I think ways that I really look to do that. 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:32.480 I love taking a two bag up some salt bath, 0:08:32.920 --> 0:08:36.200 like two to three times a week, I will find 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.280 the time and then I usually do it in the 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:39.640 dark with just a candle. 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:40.720 I breathe. 0:08:40.840 --> 0:08:44.360 I play like a really cool playlist like Selection or 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:48.960 some interesting new jazz, and I just really make that 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:53.160 like my time in that warm salty water, floating a 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.280 little bit. By the time I get out, I'm just 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:57.959 ready for anything. 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:06.960 We have Sarah Shawe here with us today. Thank you 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.880 so much for being here at this amazing I choose 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:09.280 me event. 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:10.680 Yeah, thank you for having me. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:13.040 This is such a privilege, right, So, how are you 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:17.000 feeling being here? There's a ton of people inside? Are 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.200 there so many people and they're so excited. When you 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:22.920 go out there, you will literally have people who you 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:25.520 don't know come up to you and say why they're here, 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:27.640 why it was so important for them to be here today, 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:32.160 and how they chose themselves. That's beautiful, and I feel 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.959 like I want to ask you how you choose yourself 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:36.280 every day. 0:09:36.520 --> 0:09:39.960 Yeah, it took me a long time, honestly to get 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:44.080 to that place. But I think there's this great quote 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:50.080 by the spiritual leader named Reverend Michael Beckwith and he 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:54.480 has this quote that says, pain persists until the vision pulls, 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.000 and I will never forget the moment in my life. 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.320 This was a few years ago, and I've spoken about 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.920 it openly and written about it in the book. 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:03.480 But it's like. 0:10:05.400 --> 0:10:08.559 I saw a version of myself in the future that 0:10:08.760 --> 0:10:12.680 was aligned with my dreams, my goals, what I wanted, 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:16.320 and that was the moment that I chose myself. And 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:20.400 what it came down to was loving myself more. So. 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:21.240 I think when you. 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:25.800 Get to that place of true resonance within and you 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:29.480 finally love yourself more, you love yourself more than your 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:34.840 people pleasing habits, You love yourself more than the natural 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.439 inclination to twist yourself into a pretzel to make everybody 0:10:38.440 --> 0:10:38.920 else happy. 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:40.079 That's when you choose yourself. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.439 Let's talk about your books since you mentioned it, shall 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:43.480 we Life is lifey? 0:10:43.880 --> 0:10:44.120 Right? 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:44.400 Yeah? 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:45.760 Life is Life? 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:51.200 Tell us about the book and also very aesthetically pleasing too, 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:53.000 by the way, But tell us about the book and 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:54.000 why you wanted to write it. 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:59.760 You know, it's interesting because when I first when I 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:03.839 got sex life, So sex life. 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.120 Came to me at a very interesting point in my life. 0:11:07.160 --> 0:11:07.400 You know. 0:11:07.480 --> 0:11:10.800 It's like many women, I felt overworked, overburdened. I was 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:15.080 carrying the majority at home at work, and self care 0:11:15.160 --> 0:11:18.080 to me look like adding metamucil to every meal and 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.920 picking parsley out of my teeth, you know what I mean? 0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.080 That was my ten minutes a day of self care. 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:28.199 And the character of Billy, she became such a buzz 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:32.080 in my veins because she had the courage to outwardly 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:34.800 question all of the things that I was silently questioning. 0:11:35.480 --> 0:11:39.120 And with the show's success, so many women reached out 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:41.120 to me, and I kind of became like the poster 0:11:41.280 --> 0:11:46.360 child for unhappy women. And you know, around the same 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:48.360 times when I got my divorce and I was in 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:55.120 a very new relationship that resonated with people, and my 0:11:55.440 --> 0:11:59.000 press became advice columns, and that's when I got the 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.040 idea that I was like, well, why don't I just. 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:04.040 Take all of this hard earned wisdom. 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.400 I refused to believe that my pain was ever in 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:09.400 vain and let me put it down somewhere. So I 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:11.920 wrote the book to heal myself. 0:12:11.920 --> 0:12:12.839 It was my version of. 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:17.000 Therapy, and in that I feel like it's really found 0:12:17.160 --> 0:12:18.800 its voice with. 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:20.520 A lot of a lot of people. 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:24.160 So when you were in this moment of time where 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:26.240 people were reaching out to about your character, and then 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:28.440 you're going through your own you know, stuff behind the 0:12:28.480 --> 0:12:31.680 scenes at home and navigating through all of that. Where 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:34.640 did you come to a moment, like a turning point 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:37.839 where you said, Okay, I can take what I've learned 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.800 from my character and all these people reaching out to me. 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:42.839 How did you navigate the way you wanted to help 0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.120 them but also help yourself? 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:53.959 Hmmm, the way I wanted to help them but then 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.320 also help myself. Well, I feel like advice is not prescriptive, 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.920 you know, it's not. Advice is not a one size fit. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:05.760 It's all type of model. And I'm somebody who never 0:13:05.800 --> 0:13:09.680 tells people what to do because I feel like everyone 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:11.040 has their own individual journey. 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:12.559 So I can just speak. 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:16.480 On what has worked for me and pass that along 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:20.079 with the sort of openness to allow someone else's experience 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:23.319 to color it however way they need. 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.040 I don't know if that makes sense. 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.839 But it's like, I, yeah, like I never I never 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:30.880 say well, this is what worked for me, so this 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.120 is what you should do, you know. It's like, instead, 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:34.880 I'm like, well, this is how I got through that. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:36.880 What feels good to you. 0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:40.480 And sometimes it's just that connection of knowing someone went 0:13:40.520 --> 0:13:43.480 through the same thing that aids and helps. 0:13:43.640 --> 0:13:46.240 Yeah, I feel like it's important, you know, especially for women, 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:50.280 like we have, I think an obligation to share stories 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.320 with one another, you know. And I think something really 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:54.680 magical happens when you get a group of women together. 0:13:55.160 --> 0:14:00.840 It's like this magical ancestral knowledge that can be passed 0:14:00.840 --> 0:14:02.719 down to each other, you know, almost kind of. 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.880 Tribal, right, and I feel like we. 0:14:05.920 --> 0:14:08.560 Have a sense of responsibility to one another to do that. 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:11.600 I mean, you know, after all, we're all here just 0:14:11.640 --> 0:14:13.640 to walk each other home, right, So it's like, at 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.120 the end of the day, I really do feel like 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.800 it's a purpose of mine to be able to speak 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:22.080 on my life and what worked, and you know, just 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:23.640 to be able to help another human out. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:33.880 Well you just helped me out. Oh thank you. We 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:34.920 have Genie May here? 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:36.280 What everybody? 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:38.200 Are you so excited to be here? Why was it 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:39.360 important for you to be here today? 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:44.600 Because the words choose me like that's just just something 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:47.240 that I don't think women do enough of. I just 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:49.920 learned how to do it, like in my forties. And 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:54.720 also Jenny Garth, a Baddie like beyond. She's so bombed, 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:56.880 you know. So, yeah, all the magic together, I have 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:57.520 to be here. 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:57.600 You know. 0:14:57.600 --> 0:15:00.280 And she really does a good job of letting people, no, 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:03.440 it's not selfish to choose yourself. Make sure you do 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:05.960 do that. So what was the last thing you did 0:15:06.480 --> 0:15:08.320 that you chose yourself? 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:09.280 What was that? 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:14.640 I would say, God, having my daughter, even though all 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:18.240 of my worries and fears said no, really channeling down 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:21.280 and realizing no, I'm not gonna let my worries dictate 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:24.720 a beautiful future for myself. So deciding that I do 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.000 want this for myself is a huge yes, you know. 0:15:27.080 --> 0:15:29.760 And so having my daughter with Monoco is the moment 0:15:29.760 --> 0:15:30.320 I chose me. 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.160 So for other people who might be in this space 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.440 where they're like, how do I even choose myself? I 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.840 have a laundry list of things I have to do, 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.280 and you know, I have kids, I have work, I 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:43.560 have this. What do you say to them about how 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:45.600 important it is to just do it? 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:49.640 There's this really beautiful like perspective I learned in therapy 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.280 a long time ago about the two percent. You make 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:56.360 this two percent pivot and you can see a world 0:15:56.720 --> 0:16:01.200 change from just that two percent. And I notice that 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.600 every time we build a schedule, it's around our kids, 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.600 it's around our family, it's around you know, work. But 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:08.600 if you just made that two percent pivot of like, Okay, 0:16:08.600 --> 0:16:10.200 what am I going to do on that way to work? 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.200 What am I going to do for me on that 0:16:12.440 --> 0:16:14.920 way to go pick up my kids? And all of 0:16:15.000 --> 0:16:17.080 a sudden, you notice that it's not so hard to 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:21.080 prioritize yourself and that little minute move, whether it's turning 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.680 on a podcast for yourself or stopping by the nail 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.400 salan to get your nails, then it just pays you 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:28.960 back in so much reward, you know. So I think, 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.640 make that two percent pivot of sure, take a look 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:35.280 at your schedule and in that schedule, do a little 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:38.280 something for you alongside that schedule, and just see how 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:40.840 much how much more rewarding that feels. 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:41.640 That's great advice. 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:45.040 I've never heard that two percent yeah of phrasing. There 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:48.480 in a world where women are just expected to appear 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:52.240 strong all the time, all the time, every single day 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:56.960 to everybody, how have you learned how vulnerability can actually 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:58.320 be the strength. 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:06.960 Vulnerability is the greatest superhero, a trait that we all 0:17:07.000 --> 0:17:11.480 have I think that it's the magic sauce that we 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:15.640 have as humans when we see that ability to recognize 0:17:15.760 --> 0:17:19.760 our worth and to really just be be honest and 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.600 humble about what sucks, what's painful, what made you break down, 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.720 what made you cry. At forty seven years old, I 0:17:26.760 --> 0:17:29.719 have lost the ability to be embarrassed about things anymore. 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.600 Like you almost like earn a right of passage to 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.840 just continue to fuck up, you know, continue to let 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:41.479 yourself just mess up. And so what I'm braver because 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:44.040 I have to do it in front of my family, 0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:46.160 in front of my daughter, in front of the public, 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.320 and I have to constantly remind myself that instead of 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.879 shaming myself and hiding more because of it. And I 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:55.320 think that for anybody else, you know, we always feel 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:57.200 like we're in fear of the audience that's in front 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.520 of us, when really you're doing something so mighty that 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:05.520 somebody else couldn't even fathom trying. And so I just now, 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:09.359 in my midlife, I'm starting to recognize how thankful I 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.959 am for those failures because I learned so much and 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:17.120 it gave me such strength and power to learn how 0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:19.000 to continue through what I'm trying to do. 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:22.240 Today when you say that you talk about your failures 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:25.439 and then your successes, and you mentioned you have a daughter, 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.400 how does that play into the way you raise her 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.440 to make sure you're still emphasizing this empowerment, but knowing that, Okay, 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.120 she's growing up, she's gonna make mistakes. 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:37.600 We almost over celebrate the failures. 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:43.800 We over celebrate the whoops. It's a weird dynamic in 0:18:43.840 --> 0:18:46.399 our house to actually see something so different than what 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:49.160 I grew up in. Like if I spilled a glass 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.280 of milk and my mom would be like, oh my god, Genie, 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:53.359 I've got to clean all this up and so and 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:56.159 for us, we're like, okay, great, now you learned that 0:18:56.240 --> 0:18:57.840 if you're placing that too close to the edge and 0:18:57.840 --> 0:18:58.720 your elbow hits. 0:18:58.560 --> 0:19:00.760 It, now you know it falls. Okay, awesome, now you know. 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:04.040 And it just for some reason, it lightens everybody's mood 0:19:04.119 --> 0:19:08.440 up and it ricochets through my family when we see 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:10.960 each other react like that, because it makes you all 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:12.919 just hold a mirror to yourself realizing wasn't really that 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.800 big of a deal, because the knee jerk reaction is crap. 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:17.760 Now there's something all over it. Now obviously we're not 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:21.000 gonna go crazy. I don't want like wine on my carpets, 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:23.880 you know what I mean. But now I've learned that 0:19:23.960 --> 0:19:26.840 she's like, Mom, it's it's not a big deal. I'm okay, 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.760 it's great. It's it's not so serious. And I love 0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:31.919 that she said reminds me of that because I can 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:33.879 be kind of too much of a capricorn and too 0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:36.000 much of a perfectionist. 0:19:36.520 --> 0:19:38.919 To see her react like that is so rewarding for me. 0:19:39.160 --> 0:19:41.960 Let's talk about you giving back to the community after 0:19:42.000 --> 0:19:45.240 the fires, because La went through so much, but that 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:47.320 was really important for you to do and do it 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:49.000 with your family too. Can you talk about why that 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:49.760 was so important for you? 0:19:50.080 --> 0:19:53.480 Because La is my spot man, I mean Alta Dina 0:19:54.200 --> 0:19:59.120 is I feel like the backbone to the culture. 0:19:58.880 --> 0:20:02.440 And the my God, the love in La. 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:04.760 It's it's a neighboring city, it's not too far away, 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:08.879 and it's just framed by beautiful mountains, the mountain lions 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:11.239 that La has to offer that you don't always get 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:14.440 to see because of the buildings around Hollywood. And it's 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:18.800 full of just the most loving, hardworking people, primarily black, brown, 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.720 and some Asian. And so when I see Alta Dina. 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:23.440 It reminds me of San Jose, where I was from. 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:27.959 So when I learned that Alta Dina didn't have food 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.240 or running water for almost a month and a half 0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.520 after the fires, I mean, what else are. 0:20:33.480 --> 0:20:34.000 You supposed to do? 0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:36.320 These are our aunties or uncles, our grandma and grandpa's 0:20:36.359 --> 0:20:36.720 like I was. 0:20:36.960 --> 0:20:37.720 I was in there. 0:20:37.840 --> 0:20:41.320 But thankfully, we have such an incredible community in Los 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:45.800