Speaker 1: All eight episodes of To Die For are available now
Speaker 1: to bitch absolutely free, but for ad free listening and
Speaker 1: exclusive bonuses, subscribe to tendorfoot Plus at tenderfootplus dot com
Speaker 1: or on Apple podcasts.
Speaker 2: Warning, the following episode contains explicit language and sexual themes.
Speaker 2: Listener discretion is advised.
Speaker 3: When I spoke yesterday for seven and a half hour,
Speaker 3: I realized that it's still there. It didn't heal. You know,
Speaker 3: it didn't. It's still fucking like painful fuck.
Speaker 4: Elia Rosa has returned to my home to continue telling
Speaker 4: her story. Yesterday, she had a seven and a half
Speaker 4: hour therapy session. Part of living with PTSD is never
Speaker 4: known when a small incident, even as an Elia's case
Speaker 4: at a friend's birthday dinner, can send you spiraling into
Speaker 4: a dark place.
Speaker 3: When I'm sharing my story, I want to send a
Speaker 3: message that everyone who suffers needs a professional support. And
Speaker 3: you know, it's really difficult to heal after a big trauma,
Speaker 3: and that's why my therapist took seven hours instead of
Speaker 3: just one. You ask me like, I want to understand you.
Speaker 3: I want to be you. Who am I I don't know?
Speaker 3: I thought I knew. I thought like, oh, like I'm
Speaker 3: this I woke the Red Carpets and I am building
Speaker 3: this business and I'm so successful, everybody say, But in reality,
Speaker 3: actually I'm not. I'm still that girl who was raped
Speaker 3: and abused and went through that view without even understanding
Speaker 3: why would I even do that? Why would I go
Speaker 3: to the military. Why I had to aladd this coronel
Speaker 3: like took advantage of me every single time, And why
Speaker 3: would I train my brain to like having sex with
Speaker 3: him even though I didn't, And every single man I
Speaker 3: had to go and seduce and do all these missions.
Speaker 3: Every single time, I always close that feeling that what
Speaker 3: the fuck you're doing? Why would you do that? And
Speaker 3: I would say, well, I do it for good. You
Speaker 3: know how amazing it sounds when I would say myself,
Speaker 3: I'm saving someone's lives. I'm saving the world. That's why
Speaker 3: I sacrifice my body for this mission to kill you.
Speaker 3: I'm really sorry I had to do that.
Speaker 4: I got on my.
Speaker 3: Juty things a week I.
Speaker 5: Was sold, and my god, I got to tell you.
Speaker 3: I had to kill you.
Speaker 5: Says so.
Speaker 4: Episode six, Chapter thirteen, Tears of Weakness.
Speaker 3: Every day we had gun shooting classes and we would
Speaker 3: go to the shooting range almost every day I had
Speaker 3: to see that cornel and I didn't know how to
Speaker 3: behave and he always looked at me in this weird way.
Speaker 3: And then a few lessons.
Speaker 4: Aliyah had left off her last interview with the story
Speaker 4: of her lessons on seduction and honey trapping. But while
Speaker 4: the teachers in that class expected her to use her
Speaker 4: body to serve the state, there were other officers who
Speaker 4: expected her to use her body to serve them. So
Speaker 4: life at the academy was unsafe for Elia, and there
Speaker 4: was no escape or way out, at least so it seemed.
Speaker 3: And then after three lessons, one of the student came
Speaker 3: and said, like, the Coronel so and so calls you
Speaker 3: to come to his office, like shit. When I was
Speaker 3: working in the hallway, I remember I felt really lost.
Speaker 3: I knocked the door. He invited me to the room
Speaker 3: and he told me to sit down. So I sat
Speaker 3: down in the chair and he asked me, so, how
Speaker 3: is my lessons, my educational progress going on? And I said, well,
Speaker 3: it's going okay. I study, I suppose well. But then
Speaker 3: he said, you know, I can improve your life right now.
Speaker 3: Your life here is not that casual and easier. You
Speaker 3: work as every other student. But I can help you
Speaker 3: with many things, and I can help you with the
Speaker 3: next job positions. I'm very powerful, you know it. I said, yes, sir,
Speaker 3: I know. And he said that there is a special
Speaker 3: department which was established recently by President put In, and
Speaker 3: they're looking for you very professional, very clever, educated agents.
Speaker 3: And he said that I can refer you to this
Speaker 3: department and it's really high level job position. And I'm thinking,
Speaker 3: all this would be great, I guess, and he said
Speaker 3: to me that I can refer you and just take
Speaker 3: off your clothes. And I understood something that moment. I understood.
Speaker 3: First of all, if I want to survive here without
Speaker 3: any male student, just come to my dorm and just
Speaker 3: take advantage of my body. And this cornel is the
Speaker 3: main teachers, so if I will have like protection from him,
Speaker 3: then nobody will touch me.
Speaker 4: Fortunately, Elia's training was all about seducing and controlling men
Speaker 4: with more power than herself. But would it work on
Speaker 4: the predator who had sent her to that training.
Speaker 3: Second, I remembered when our female teacher said in the class,
Speaker 3: you will be dealing with criminals, so how can you
Speaker 3: make criminals to commit to you? And falling in love
Speaker 3: with you, and she told us there is like, you know,
Speaker 3: step by step strategy which you can use. So I
Speaker 3: was thinking, I don't want to be used just like buddy,
Speaker 3: but if I have to, I will do it, but
Speaker 3: I will do it on my conditions if I have
Speaker 3: to play your game like Eventually, Alvin and I.
Speaker 4: Started the game, and so Leah studied her seduction lessons
Speaker 4: with extra diligence, with the intention of using these techniques
Speaker 4: not just to protect her country, but to protect herself.
Speaker 4: The first step of this game speaking herself stand out
Speaker 4: is more than another student for the colonel to abuse,
Speaker 4: but as someone who he saw as more special with
Speaker 4: greater potential.
Speaker 3: I had to plant in his hat a seed that
Speaker 3: potentially I could be his protege and I could be
Speaker 3: that special for him close to his heart. And I
Speaker 3: didn't know by that time if I could do it
Speaker 3: or not, but I thought, you know what, let me
Speaker 3: just use these techniques, you know, practice it on him,
Speaker 3: and let's see what will happen.
Speaker 4: She immediately began developing and executing this plan step by step.
Speaker 4: It started with a lesson she learned on the first
Speaker 4: day of class.
Speaker 3: It was a long process. First of all, I had
Speaker 3: to train my brain to like him. I had to
Speaker 3: show him that I really enjoyed, which I didn't of course.
Speaker 3: So I put on my wall his photo and started
Speaker 3: to look at him and trying to find some sort
Speaker 3: of positive things he may have. But he didn't, so
Speaker 3: I tried. I tried to trick my brain, telling my
Speaker 3: brain that he's not so bad. You know, he's still educating,
Speaker 3: like many students to be the best agents, and he
Speaker 3: helps them. I would say he was a good man
Speaker 3: at some point, like somewhere, So it helped me to
Speaker 3: look at him in a way where I would respect
Speaker 3: him for his kind of actions. I wouldn't respect him
Speaker 3: what he did to me or some odded girls.
Speaker 4: It's uncomfortable to hear the story of a victim training
Speaker 4: herself to like her abuse her, but tragically this can
Speaker 4: be the norm in a society where predators have absolute
Speaker 4: power over victims who have no other recourse. In the
Speaker 4: Gulag Archipelago, author Alexander Soljanitson's famous book on the Soviet
Speaker 4: prison camps, he tells this story of what happened to
Speaker 4: women there.
Speaker 5: Attractiveness was a curse. Such a woman had a constant
Speaker 5: stream of visitors on her bunk and was constantly surrounded.
Speaker 5: They propositioned her and threatened her with beatings and knives,
Speaker 5: and she had no hope of being able to stand
Speaker 5: up against it, but only to be smart about whom
Speaker 5: she gave in to, to pick the kind of man
Speaker 5: to defend her with his name and his knife from
Speaker 5: all the rest from the next in line, from the
Speaker 5: whole greedy queue.
Speaker 4: After Lea convinced herself to start liking the monster who
Speaker 4: would hopefully become her protector, the next step was to
Speaker 4: brainwash him into liking her.
Speaker 3: I started from compliments. Female teacher said that every compliment
Speaker 3: has to be very authentic and it has to be
Speaker 3: very related to what man does in his life, not
Speaker 3: the way he look. So man really appreciates compliments when
Speaker 3: it goes towards his actions. Man connects with you faster.
Speaker 3: Every time I would say my coronel, I would tell
Speaker 3: him some compliments like that, so he would get used
Speaker 3: to it.
Speaker 4: As a Leah's plan progressed, she attacked the one vector
Speaker 4: on which almost all men are vulnerable, even when like
Speaker 4: the colonel, they know the game, and that factor is
Speaker 4: the male ego.
Speaker 3: My cornel. By that time he was forty eight, so
Speaker 3: for him it was very important about his sex performance,
Speaker 3: and I had to put it into his brain that
Speaker 3: the sex performance was so amazing to me. I created
Speaker 3: that situation for him where I said, I'm so grateful
Speaker 3: for giving me such an amazing experience and amazing pleasure
Speaker 3: because I have never had it before. Instead of telling
Speaker 3: him you have bustard, you like almostraate me and you
Speaker 3: take advantage of my body every single time, I made
Speaker 3: it opposite because I told him the story about my
Speaker 3: first sex experience when I was raped by my coll
Speaker 3: and I said that I couldn't feel anything and I
Speaker 3: felt so bad, and I you know, I thought, like
Speaker 3: sex doesn't have any pleasure, and now I know how
Speaker 3: to feel pleasure. And I would just say to him
Speaker 3: from that perspective where he is just a sex guru,
Speaker 3: a sex machine, you know, who can perform any moment, anytime,
Speaker 3: that he's just amazing.
Speaker 4: Complimenting the Colonel sexually though was not enough. However, it
Speaker 4: built up enough trust so that Aliyah could start flattering
Speaker 4: him emotionally as well.
Speaker 3: I wrote a letter. It was full of compliments. I
Speaker 3: started from the words, I really appreciate having you in
Speaker 3: my life because I've been so lonely and I didn't
Speaker 3: know anything. And in this letter I shared a little
Speaker 3: bit the story where I felt like a victim and
Speaker 3: he helped me to go through my traumatic experience. In fact,
Speaker 3: he didn't, but I made him in this story to
Speaker 3: be a hero, because the female teach us that if
Speaker 3: you create a story and you make your target to
Speaker 3: be a hero in your story where he saves you,
Speaker 3: he feels good about himself. It was not real, but
Speaker 3: you made him to be this hero.
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, the classes continued and the techniques became more and
Speaker 4: more physical. Every time Aliyah took notes on what would
Speaker 4: work on the kernel.
Speaker 3: Because you were five girls in the class, we did
Speaker 3: massages to each other. One of the massages was like
Speaker 3: sexy massage, how to give pleasure during massage to men
Speaker 3: or women. Also, there are certain dots on the body,
Speaker 3: certain spots which you need to pressure, because we would
Speaker 3: call it like dots of sexuality and dots of honesty
Speaker 3: and also dots of killing, like when you can basically
Speaker 3: kill by this pressuring these spots. But if you pressure,
Speaker 3: if you touch the spots of honesty and sexuality, then
Speaker 3: your target most likely will have like strong connection with you,
Speaker 3: and then your target can tell you any information and
Speaker 3: basically trust you.
Speaker 4: The massage techniques really learned, we're mixed with the teachings
Speaker 4: of NLP or neuro linguistic programming, specifically a concept called anchoring. Ironically,
Speaker 4: this exact technique was also part of the book I
Speaker 4: wrote about how pickup artists work in the United States.
Speaker 4: Here's an explanation of that technique from the audiobook two
Speaker 4: Time orlen Over and Whispered. That's anchoring. It's when you
Speaker 4: associate a physical feeling like attraction with a touch or gesture. Now,
Speaker 4: every time Ross raises his hand like that, she gets
Speaker 4: attracted to him. And as this pickup artist was anchoring women,
Speaker 4: he was trying to date in La Aliyah at almost
Speaker 4: the exact same time in the early two thousands, was
Speaker 4: doing this to the kernel to save herself from these
Speaker 4: types of men.
Speaker 3: There is one important thing which I did to him.
Speaker 3: That's why he wanted to see me every day. I
Speaker 3: put an anchor with the positive memory into his brain.
Speaker 3: It's exactly how our female teacher told us to do. So.
Speaker 3: When I was doing massage, I said, well, I wanted
Speaker 3: to relax close your eyes and memorize the best day
Speaker 3: of your life, the best when you felt so good,
Speaker 3: so amazing, and so happy. And he started to remember
Speaker 3: that day when he was awarded with his coronal rank,
Speaker 3: and he said it was a parade and he was
Speaker 3: very proud of himself and it was one of the
Speaker 3: best days of his life. And when he was telling
Speaker 3: me that when I was doing massage, I was pressing
Speaker 3: some bodied spots. So next time, if you touch the
Speaker 3: same spots, he will remember again good memories. This is
Speaker 3: the anchor.
Speaker 4: The next step was for Leah to connect herself to
Speaker 4: those good memories, to get the kernel to make a
Speaker 4: personal emotional attachment to her.
Speaker 3: So I asked some of you know students, and I've
Speaker 3: heard some of the conversations that Mike Cornell had similar
Speaker 3: background as me. He was sent by his dad to
Speaker 3: the military. And I decided to take it as a
Speaker 3: tool to connect him with me. His brain will think
Speaker 3: that I can trust her because she had the same background.
Speaker 3: So I started to share my life story and I said, well,
Speaker 3: you know, my father, as you know, like he sent
Speaker 3: me here and my grandfather was national hero. And I said,
Speaker 3: you know, I just feel so obliged that they have
Speaker 3: to be proud of myself. And I feel like I'm
Speaker 3: so weak and I'm so inexperience, and I just feel
Speaker 3: so lost and so lonely. And I started to cry,
Speaker 3: you know, like these tears like women tears, the tears
Speaker 3: of weakness, because every man wants to see that he's
Speaker 3: stronger than a woman, and strengths of woman is in
Speaker 3: her weakness. So I sat on the sofa and I
Speaker 3: started to cry, like just like a little mouse, you know,
Speaker 3: without like to being too hysterical or too dramatic.
Speaker 4: Eliah's plan worked, and soon the colonel was consoling her
Speaker 4: by sharing his own experiences growing up with a father
Speaker 4: who also sent him to the military when he was
Speaker 4: a teenager.
Speaker 3: And when I was sitting and presenting that I'm crying,
Speaker 3: I was thinking, this is exactly what I wanted. So
Speaker 3: he started to relate his story to my life him.
Speaker 3: But yeah, but how would you become so powerful and
Speaker 3: so successful? I don't have any idea how to do it,
Speaker 3: I said. I want to be like you. I want
Speaker 3: to be the female version of yourself because I admire
Speaker 3: you so much. You're just perfect. Please help me. What
Speaker 3: can I do. And that moment I looked into his
Speaker 3: eyes and it was important to read his reaction when
Speaker 3: I would tell him this word, and I saw that
Speaker 3: a rising desire to teach me and help me. That's
Speaker 3: the moment where I understood that he's on board.
Speaker 4: Chapter fourteen the assignment. As Eliah's seduction escalated, so too
Speaker 4: did the teachings in her classes. Until one day, as
Speaker 4: you started to hear at the end of episode four,
Speaker 4: she walked into the room to discover an unusual scene
Speaker 4: set up even for this place, and.
Speaker 3: Every table we had dilda, we had lubricant and condoms.
Speaker 3: I was really shocked. Then our female teachers said, today
Speaker 3: we have a special lesson and this is very powerful
Speaker 3: techniques which I will just show you. If you want
Speaker 3: to terminate your target, it's very important. So you need
Speaker 3: to write everything wherever I'm telling you and then practice
Speaker 3: it on your dildo. The way she explained to us,
Speaker 3: She said, every man pride is in his lower body part.
Speaker 3: She opened the condom, she put the condom on the
Speaker 3: dildo and replaced our dilders, and we put on the
Speaker 3: top of the condom and we just looked at her.
Speaker 3: She started explaining that knowing how to make your target
Speaker 3: to have an orgasm according the time you want. It's
Speaker 3: very important.
Speaker 4: Aliah goes on to explain in more depth how the
Speaker 4: teacher taught them to count out a rhythm and slow
Speaker 4: down or speed up in order to control the exact
Speaker 4: moment when their target would orgasm. Be at as most vulnerable.
Speaker 4: She then covered other techniques designed to get a man
Speaker 4: to surrender his logical mind to desire.
Speaker 3: Very important for us was to give our target the
Speaker 3: understanding that it could be the best sex experience in
Speaker 3: his life, so he had to be hooked on it,
Speaker 3: and he would want to give something for this experience.
Speaker 3: Because we were not prostitutes, we were not hookers. Our
Speaker 3: mission was to get information out of our targets and
Speaker 3: hook them on our skills. I understood, if I want
Speaker 3: to be the best, I have to learn it. But
Speaker 3: she said you shouldn't do it quite often, so you
Speaker 3: should just give some some teas that you can do it,
Speaker 3: and you can reward him by doing that when he
Speaker 3: does something to you. For example, if your target gives
Speaker 3: the information you need, you can reward him with the
Speaker 3: very special oral sex techniques which he's never been experienced before.
Speaker 3: If he doesn't do it, then it could be just
Speaker 3: sex without oral sex. You know you give me information,
Speaker 3: I give you perfect oral sex.
Speaker 4: Leah clarifies that there were two different situations for which
Speaker 4: he was taught these techniques. The first was to kill
Speaker 4: a target.
Speaker 3: I learned that if you know how to do perfect
Speaker 3: oral sex, it's one of the biggest power you can
Speaker 3: have over man. By just knowing this, you can easily
Speaker 3: kill your target.
Speaker 4: The second was to get a target to trust you
Speaker 4: and give you regular information without ever knowing you're an
Speaker 4: undercover agent. And it was these techniques that would allow
Speaker 4: Lee to actually shift your power relationship with the colonel
Speaker 4: so that she started to become the one with the control.
Speaker 3: But if you need your target to trust you and
Speaker 3: to believe you, and you need to get some information,
Speaker 3: you must make him to believe that you trust him. First,
Speaker 3: when he is releasing and you touching him in his
Speaker 3: neck or somewhere very private, then that moment the body
Speaker 3: remembers this touch. So the next time, if you want
Speaker 3: him again to get hird or give you information or
Speaker 3: do something you need, you touch that spot. That's it.
Speaker 3: When you say words, you're the best man in my life.
Speaker 3: I trust you, I'll always be here for you. I
Speaker 3: love you. Like all this words, I mean, all this
Speaker 3: total bullshit, but yeah it works.
Speaker 4: At the end of the class, the moment came that
Speaker 4: Ale hadreaded most the teacher's homework assignment. The goal of
Speaker 4: this one was a degree of brainwashing that was evil
Speaker 4: even for here. To desensitize these young students to the
Speaker 4: act of sex.
Speaker 3: She said, you have to be sexually opened, very open,
Speaker 3: so when you have sex with your target, you wouldn't
Speaker 3: be attached. And in order not to be attached, you
Speaker 3: have to have sex with many, many partners. So for you,
Speaker 3: sex wouldn't be a big event in your life. It
Speaker 3: would be like normal daily routine. She just said, like, well,
Speaker 3: you need to have a more sex partners, and it's easy.
Speaker 3: You have like full house of like practicing tools. Just
Speaker 3: go and practice basically.
Speaker 4: After the class, Eliah went to see the colonel again
Speaker 4: and for the first time, she had something she needed
Speaker 4: him to protect her from.
Speaker 3: When I spoke with him, he asked, me, okay, so
Speaker 3: what did you learn, Like did you already started to
Speaker 3: learn like oral sex techniques? And I said, well, yeah,
Speaker 3: we started, so he said, look Okay, so what exactly
Speaker 3: did you teach you? So when I would show him
Speaker 3: the way I always thought he would correct me and say, oh,
Speaker 3: like she doesn't give you all the techniques, or like
Speaker 3: ask about this technique, or like you should practice more,
Speaker 3: this is the way you should do it.
Speaker 4: This moment, when the colonel stepped into the role of
Speaker 4: mentor and Aliyah as protege, created an opportunity for Leah
Speaker 4: to ask for her first favor.
Speaker 3: I told him about my teacher, my major, who said
Speaker 3: that we should have like different partners, and I said
Speaker 3: that I am not really in to that because I
Speaker 3: just I want you, only you as my sex partner.
Speaker 3: I don't want anyone to take me. I just want
Speaker 3: only you. That moment, I wanted to trigger and play
Speaker 3: on his ego it's only you.
Speaker 4: The colonel took the bait and made his first move
Speaker 4: toward protecting Leah, But there were consequences because it turned
Speaker 4: out that the major who was teaching Leah's class was
Speaker 4: also sleeping with the colonel.
Speaker 3: So after that conversation, then the major found out that
Speaker 3: I sleep with her lover, basically because he told her
Speaker 3: you can educate her, but do not give her these
Speaker 3: tasks and don't send her to any other tasks. That's
Speaker 3: where it was the point when she started to hate me.
Speaker 4: There was a clear motive for the hate. The tactics
Speaker 4: the major had totally were working all too well on
Speaker 4: the kernel. Soon Elia didn't even have to ask him
Speaker 4: to protect her. He did it on his own and
Speaker 4: in his own way.
Speaker 3: There was a moment where I started to be very
Speaker 3: important to him, like dear to his heart, where he
Speaker 3: asked me the name and the department where my colleague
Speaker 3: who raped me works. That's the moment I understood that
Speaker 3: he cared about me, So I did it right. So
Speaker 3: all these techniques which I implemented on him, which I
Speaker 3: used on him, I thought, like, it does work.
Speaker 4: That's all a Leah thought about it at the time.
Speaker 4: But then several months later she received the news.
Speaker 3: A few months later, my colleague from the same department
Speaker 3: where I had my internship. He told me that my
Speaker 3: former colleague who reaped me was found dead in his
Speaker 3: apartment and the police stated that it was a suicide.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I had thoughts that it may not
Speaker 3: be suicide. Perhaps my coronell had some involvement in his death.
Speaker 4: Leah's story continues in episode seven, available now. Continue listening
Speaker 4: for free on Apple Podcasts. For full credits, check out
Speaker 4: our show notes