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Speaker 1: I Do, Part two is an innovative podcast all about

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Speaker 1: finding love the second time around. But sometimes on the

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Speaker 1: road to finding love the second time around, you end

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Speaker 1: up staying in singles town, maybe longer than you anticipated.

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Speaker 1: I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Cheryl Burke, and I'm

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Speaker 1: joined today by fellow mentor Kelly ben Simone, and today

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Speaker 1: we also have former star of The Bachelorette Dianas Dogliano.

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Speaker 1: Welcome ladies to the podcast. How are you doing good?

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Speaker 1: What's new?

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Speaker 2: Just preparing for the big day?

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Speaker 1: What big day?

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Speaker 2: The big day of being thankful and grateful?

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Speaker 1: Which one? There's a big day of gratitude, Thanksgiving? Happy Thanksgiving?

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Speaker 3: Yesterday was my birthday and just a week, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, it's just been I think, like all

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Speaker 3: of the things, like I'm just reeling in, like the

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Speaker 3: kids and being divorced and wanting to have companionship, but

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Speaker 3: not because I don't, you know. So I think I've

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Speaker 3: just like really like rode the waves of all the

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Speaker 3: things this week.

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Speaker 1: How long have you been single?

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Speaker 3: My divorce was final this year, but I have been

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Speaker 3: single for probably three years.

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Speaker 1: Got it same? I'm in the same boat, except I'm

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Speaker 1: definitely not looking for companionship, and I'm loving it so

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Speaker 1: much with Caeryl.

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Speaker 3: I'm not either. I'm not either. I think it's deeply overrated,

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Speaker 3: deeply overrated. I believe that we are built for companionship,

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Speaker 3: and I really want that, I think in the long run,

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Speaker 3: But like today, nah nah.

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Speaker 2: See, I'm ready for I'm ready to meet someone I

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Speaker 2: want to. I've been going to therapy. I've been, you know,

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Speaker 2: going through this whole process on the podcast. Cheryl and

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Speaker 2: I have had some really great moments together with TJ

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Speaker 2: and Amy and Jenna, and I've just learned so much

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Speaker 2: about myself. And I'm not saying that I'm ready to

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Speaker 2: get married tomorrow, but I am am I The way

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Speaker 2: that I'm dealing with my life, both personally and professionally,

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Speaker 2: is different.

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Speaker 3: Do you actually think that you'll get married again? Because

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Speaker 3: I have a hard pass for me. I don't ever

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Speaker 3: want to get married again.

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Speaker 1: Deanna. People want they know you obviously from the Bachelor

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Speaker 1: Bachelorette franchise. What I guess, tell our listeners a little

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Speaker 1: bit about your love story and your journey.

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Speaker 3: I guess, yeah, Well, I went on the show, so

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Speaker 3: I did the Bachelor, and I was the final one.

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Speaker 3: Was I was everyone's like pick at the end, like

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Speaker 3: I was the one that I choose.

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Speaker 2: Of course.

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Speaker 3: And then I went on to be the bachelorette and

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Speaker 3: I chose someone not not so great, but I did.

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Speaker 3: And then I met my ex husband through the show

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Speaker 3: because his twin brother was on a different season of mine.

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Speaker 3: So I met my ex husband through the show, and

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Speaker 3: we were married for twelve years and wow, together for

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Speaker 3: what fifteen. So I'm very careful at this point because

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Speaker 3: Addison in particular is very aware and seeing can see things,

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Speaker 3: and her friends know who she is, they know who

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Speaker 3: she is at school, they know me, and so I

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Speaker 3: try to be really careful what I share. I had you,

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Speaker 3: how I share it all good.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can understand that too because when I

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Speaker 2: was on I was on the Real Housewives of New

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Speaker 2: York when when my kids were five and seven, so

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Speaker 2: I was on two thousand and nine, ten and eleven,

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Speaker 2: and so when my kids were white because we're really

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Speaker 2: young as well, and you know, I didn't feel like,

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Speaker 2: first of all, I didn't feel like it was a

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Speaker 2: safe place for me to talk about anything. And second

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Speaker 2: of all, you know, I was when I was single

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Speaker 2: being single in two thousand and nine was not sexy

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Speaker 2: being you know, it was like, oh my god, I

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Speaker 2: cannot believe you're not married, Like what's wrong with you?

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Speaker 2: The choice of like you're saying like this empowered choice

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Speaker 2: of saying I don't really know if I ever want

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Speaker 2: to meet someone or you know, that kind of narrative

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Speaker 2: just didn't exist. And so I commend you for being

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Speaker 2: such a good mom and for protecting your daughter and

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Speaker 2: your your children, because it's not easy in this important environment.

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Speaker 3: Had a week, I literally have had a week, and

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Speaker 3: I don't want to cry.

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Speaker 1: But oh no, you should cry. It's good for you,

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Speaker 1: it's good for everyone.

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Speaker 3: I know. I know I've cried all week. We went

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Speaker 3: to dinner last night for my birthday, and I was

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Speaker 3: saying to my girlfriends that I was just like.

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Speaker 1: That.

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Speaker 3: I just feel like I am going to great links

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Speaker 3: to protect my children. You know, I don't think I

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Speaker 3: always realized this when I was younger, but I'm a

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Speaker 3: product of divorce and the great links that my mother

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Speaker 3: went through to protect me and my brother and my sister.

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Speaker 3: But I find that I'm doing the same things for

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Speaker 3: my children, and man, is it freaking exhausting. It's exhausting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I also come from a I'm a product of

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Speaker 1: a divorced family as well. And I don't know if

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Speaker 1: this is the reason why I don't have kids or

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Speaker 1: I don't I'm not I have no interest in it,

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Speaker 1: but like it's just yeah, it's but what you're doing

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Speaker 1: and by being aware of what you say, because you know,

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Speaker 1: kids are very observant and smarter than we think. And

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Speaker 1: I remember seeing my parents fight before they divorced, and

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Speaker 1: it's just not like and then also talking about each other.

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Speaker 1: It's just not healthy. It's not healthy.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I raise my two kids on my own,

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Speaker 2: so I was a full time single parent. It was

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Speaker 2: no co parenting. And you know what you're going through

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Speaker 2: right now is you know natural too. I mean, those

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Speaker 2: feelings are real, and you know there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: stress and pressure and you know it's our job to

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Speaker 2: raise amazing kids the next generation. And it's like, you know,

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Speaker 2: I would die. Don't come from a divorce. Both my

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Speaker 2: parents were together for our entire life, and I never

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Speaker 2: thought I would get divorced. But I got divorced because

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Speaker 2: I wanted something better for my children. I wanted I

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Speaker 2: thought it was better for me to parent my children

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Speaker 2: just myself than to be in an environment that wasn't

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Speaker 2: good for them. And you know, it's not easy. And

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Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I'm not trying to say don't

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Speaker 2: be hard on yourself, but you know, it's okay to

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Speaker 2: feel to feel that pressure because it's it's it's heavy,

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Speaker 2: it's heavy.

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Speaker 3: I know you don't have kids, but like, I just

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Speaker 3: sat in this space this week where I just felt

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Speaker 3: like deeply sorry for myself, you know, as we're talking

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Speaker 3: about like dating, going into the Hall of Dame stuff,

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Speaker 3: you know, and I feel like deeply alone.

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Speaker 1: By choice, by choice, but not lonely, right.

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Speaker 3: I feel lonely mostly because I believe that we are

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Speaker 3: built for companionship and partnership. They say, yeah, they say,

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Speaker 3: they say. I also just like really love my life,

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Speaker 3: and I make a.

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Speaker 1: Love I hear you. But holidays bring like trigger something.

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Speaker 3: Obviously I can do all the things that I this

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Speaker 3: week in particular, and I don't know if it's just

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Speaker 3: because it's been my birthday.

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Speaker 1: And and Pluto just moved into a queries just saying yeah,

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Speaker 1: after nineteen years, yes, yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like like lonely, you know, And I

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Speaker 3: know that I'm not so deeply lonely that i would

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Speaker 3: choose anyone because I have options, but they they aren't

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Speaker 3: like great, and I'm okay with that. And I feel,

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Speaker 3: I guess, really empowered in a place that I can

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Speaker 3: say no, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: It's a complete sentence.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, do you have your kids with you, Diana? Foriday?

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Speaker 3: My first Thanksgiving a loved kids, and my dad is

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Speaker 3: going to come out with his wife. And I'm really grateful. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm really really grateful. It's just really difficult a few years.

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Speaker 3: And I have really wonderful friends and I have I

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Speaker 3: have a really great family and surroundings, you know, for

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Speaker 3: people who will just come in and be with us

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Speaker 3: when we need it. So my my dad is coming

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Speaker 3: in this week, and I have the kids, and so

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Speaker 3: I'm just trying to create really wonderful memories for them,

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Speaker 3: make them happy and make them feel loved and make

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Speaker 3: them want to be here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for your vulnerability, because like, first of all,

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Speaker 1: there's so many I can relate in many ways though

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Speaker 1: I don't have kids. I mean, I can't say I

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Speaker 1: never get lonely, Like it's literally I moved out of

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Speaker 1: La to where I am with my frenchie and it's

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Speaker 1: just me and my frenchie, and I don't have tons

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Speaker 1: of friends in this where I live, in this town.

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Speaker 1: And I also haven't really made much of an effort,

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Speaker 1: like there has been a part of me that has ghosted,

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Speaker 1: not just my ex husband, but like also my friend,

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Speaker 1: like everything around me. I just feel is you know,

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Speaker 1: we evolve and evolving until the day we die, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes there is this feeling of loneliness. But I think

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I like to not say it as

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Speaker 1: only more like alone because of the transition that you know,

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Speaker 1: people change and it's not bad nor good. It's not

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Speaker 1: bad or good, Like there's no label other than the

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Speaker 1: fact that I just want to give back to myself

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Speaker 1: because I don't remember the last I don't think I've

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Speaker 1: ever done this before where I've chosen me.

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Speaker 3: You know who's first, who was first?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: And I didn't know who was first until I actually

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Speaker 1: had quiet time around me, because it's so easy to

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Speaker 1: put everyone else in front of you.

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Speaker 2: But they always say that you know, you're supposed to

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Speaker 2: put your safety belt on first. And that's the other

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Speaker 2: thing that has been really like a big lesson for

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Speaker 2: me because I have always been the kind of person

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Speaker 2: like whatever my kids want, whatever they want, whatever they need,

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Speaker 2: Like what can I do? And when you put your

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Speaker 2: safety belt on first and you protect yourself, then you

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Speaker 2: are even a better protector of your children obviously what

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Speaker 2: you're already doing. But it's just you know, when you're

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Speaker 2: going through the birthday and kind of processing everything, it

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Speaker 2: gets to be. You know, it gives me a lot.

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Speaker 2: And you know, the nice thing is that you have

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Speaker 2: this your friend group, which is amazing. Like I literally,

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Speaker 2: I literally was so like mortified of like what I

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Speaker 2: had done. Like I thought that I had like done

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Speaker 2: this horrible thing by getting divorced and this like awful,

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Speaker 2: you know thing that I shouldn't have done. I used

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Speaker 2: to cry in my closet and you know, I just

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Speaker 2: sit there on the floor because I don't want anybody

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Speaker 2: to know.

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Speaker 3: Kelly though, and Cheryl, maybe you feel the same. I

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Speaker 3: felt so much grief and so much I was really embarrassed,

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Speaker 3: so was I.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I haven't dated and I've been like

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Speaker 1: celibate for three years since my divorce, and I think

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Speaker 1: that's all has to do with shame underneath all of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, same for me, Same for me. I mean I

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Speaker 3: think that there is this space that you just feel

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Speaker 3: this deep, immense amount of pain and grief and just

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Speaker 3: shame surrounding divorce.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I swear we were going through a divorce for a

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Speaker 3: year before I ever said anything out loud because I

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Speaker 3: was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. Yeah, and there

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Speaker 3: is a cleansing piece of divorce and breakups, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, Like you, you lose friends, and I

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Speaker 3: lost really great friends and people that I thought that

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Speaker 3: I really cared for. But there is a really beautiful

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Speaker 3: grieving process when it comes to divorce and being single

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Speaker 3: and loone and really sitting, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, because the easiest thing is to numb and find

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Speaker 1: somebody else quickly and find another physical body, you know,

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Speaker 1: especially during like the holidays and exhibit a you go

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Speaker 1: and do that, and men do that. Let's dive into

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Speaker 1: the holidays. Speaking of the holidays, what's everyone's thoughts on

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Speaker 1: on the holidays in general?

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Speaker 2: I guess yeah that you go first.

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Speaker 3: For me in particular, I'm just pouring into the kids,

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Speaker 3: you know, Yeah, And I'm looking I have them their

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Speaker 3: their mind, and I just I think for me, I

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Speaker 3: have really gone out of my way and by healing

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Speaker 3: and my therapy and everything else to make sure they're okay.

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Speaker 3: I really worry about my children and what this will

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Speaker 3: do to them and the damn it will cause.

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Speaker 1: Are they in therapy? Do you put them in there?

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Speaker 3: Yeh?

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Speaker 1: I have to say, that's one thing my mother did

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Speaker 1: with me, and God thank her, because it's just about

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Speaker 1: putting a voice to the pain, right like, and if

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Speaker 1: you can't and if you can't translate whatever you're feeling

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Speaker 1: into a language, that's when it eats you up.

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Speaker 3: Okay. I'm like, if they can just get to like

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Speaker 3: six team, and I hope that they will look back

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Speaker 3: and think, my mom went.

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Speaker 1: To great lengths one hundred and that's what I think

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Speaker 1: about my mother, like though the generation even though she

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Speaker 1: needs to go to therapy, but she'll never because but

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Speaker 1: at least she knew what to do with me. Because

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Speaker 1: I have to tell you the trauma I've dealt with

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Speaker 1: my stepsister who dealt with a similar story. She just

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Speaker 1: died of an overdose. And it's like you literally can

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Speaker 1: see like it was interesting. I mean, it's so sad

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Speaker 1: and this happened a little over a year ago. But like,

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Speaker 1: that's the difference between being in therapy versus not and

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Speaker 1: it's like, yes, you need an outlet.

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Speaker 3: And trauma affects us all. And I have said this

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Speaker 3: openly across the board. When my ex husband asked to

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Speaker 3: leave me, I chose to go to trauma therapy. I

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Speaker 3: went three days a week for three hours a day,

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Speaker 3: and it was literally the best decision that I ever

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Speaker 3: ever could have done for myself, you know, and with

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Speaker 3: that an example for my children.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. Well, let's talk about since this is a holidays episode,

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about my first year I guess

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Speaker 1: of the holidays without my ex husband. I stayed busy

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Speaker 1: because my new I'm sober for six years, but my

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Speaker 1: new drug of choice is now productivity. So I numbed

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Speaker 1: through making sure everyone came to my house so that

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Speaker 1: I had to decorate, I had to cook, I had

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Speaker 1: to do I had. My to do list was so

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Speaker 1: freakin packed, jam packed that I didn't even think about

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Speaker 1: the sadness. Now, is that the solution? Hell no, it's

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Speaker 1: not the solution. I'm just running away from my problems.

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Speaker 1: But now I have no plans as far as I'm

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Speaker 1: not cooking I'm not cleaning. I'm going to meet my

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Speaker 1: family at my sister's in laws or her in law's

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Speaker 1: two bee's house, so that should be interesting. But at

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Speaker 1: least it's driving distance, so I can always get in

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Speaker 1: the car and go if I need to.

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Speaker 3: Does that feel good for you? What to go and

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Speaker 3: spend time with them.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I've never done it before, so it's

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Speaker 1: a little bit scary for me, to be quite honest.

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Speaker 1: And like I said, it's in Newport and where I live,

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Speaker 1: it's about a couple hours away. But I can always

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Speaker 1: get in the car and come back home if I

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Speaker 1: need to. It's gonna be interesting because it's just, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're right, like, I've never really I don't even know

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Speaker 1: who her in laws are personally.

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Speaker 3: Struggle with that. I love love to my core. My

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Speaker 3: ex husband's family, Oh yeah, I do. I really love them.

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Speaker 3: I love my father in law. There has been some

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Speaker 3: trauma within the family, and so that makes it really hard.

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Speaker 3: So I think, you know, the whole piece of switching

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Speaker 3: holidays and yeah, doing all of the things, it's there's

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Speaker 3: also a piece of just like grief, do you know,

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Speaker 3: of course, the family, not just my ex husband. There

301
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Speaker 3: is grief in the family, like grieving my mother in law,

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Speaker 3: who I just like literally love love at my core

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Speaker 3: and she is salt of the earth, wonderful human being.

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Speaker 1: I love that that at least you still feel like

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Speaker 1: that after Do.

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Speaker 2: You have any connection with her still or no?

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Speaker 3: I do, Kelly. I think that we're just figuring it out.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: I think that it's hard for her because it's her son, right,

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Speaker 3: and I think at the end of the day, I

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Speaker 3: have a lot of grace for the fact that she

312
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Speaker 3: can't separate the two. Do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: It's her son.

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Speaker 1: Has he moved on? Has he is he dating?

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Speaker 3: Do you know you're he's got a girlfriend?

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Speaker 1: For Okay, Kelly, are you you were saying that you're

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Speaker 1: still single?

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Speaker 3: I am so single. I have chosen to do like

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Speaker 3: dive into myself and do it. And he rushed into

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00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 3: another relationship, which is there's also.

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Speaker 1: That's the easiest, that's the easiest way to go, by

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Speaker 1: the way it is, Kelly, say more, Kelly, come on, girl.

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Speaker 2: Cheryl's like, I love Cheryl's celibate, She's sober, she's amazing,

324
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Speaker 2: and I am I was like a complete train wreck,

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Speaker 2: like until I started this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Stop it. If you were to ask me why I'm

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Speaker 1: choosing this path, that's a whole nother podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well I want to hear more about that.

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Speaker 1: No, tell us your story for the holidays.

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Speaker 2: You know, since I my ex husband is French and

331
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Speaker 2: a lot older than I am, we spend a lot

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Speaker 2: of time with my family. So I'm just so grateful

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Speaker 2: to have been able to spend time with my twin

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Speaker 2: brother and my sister and our family and my kids

335
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 2: and their children, like always had like a really nice

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Speaker 2: time together. Going by myself on a train or in

337
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Speaker 2: a car or on a plane with my two kids.

338
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:20,800
Speaker 2: Always traveling alone was something that you know, I used

339
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 2: to dread so much, and it was always like, you know,

340
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Speaker 2: the kids, and then there's Kelly, and like, who's Kelly's

341
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 2: going to sit next to because she's by herself. And

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Speaker 2: I mean, obviously my family's beautiful to me, but I

343
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Speaker 2: don't think that they ever knew that that would affect me,

344
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Speaker 2: But it was always you know, where am I going

345
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:39,800
Speaker 2: to sit or who am I going to sit next to?

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Speaker 3: Are you starting new traditions? Like now that you have

347
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 3: this space of being your own and your your most

348
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 3: powerful self. Are you starting new traditions with the kids.

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Speaker 2: Well, so my but both of unfortunately both my parents

350
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Speaker 2: are now deceased, and so I've been spending a lot

351
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Speaker 2: of time, you know, continue to spend time with with

352
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 2: my twin brother. This year, we're going to be with

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Speaker 2: some family friends, which is really nice. But we were

354
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: going to originally just be together, just the three of us.

355
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 2: And it was very like strange how last year we

356
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 2: had spent time with a man that I was going

357
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 2: to be getting married to with his family.

358
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Speaker 3: No, Daryl, tell her, don't ever do it again.

359
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: So ever, Kelly, it was a godsend that it didn't happen.

360
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: I'll just say that I.

361
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 2: Was gonna see me on the street she met Kelly. No, Kelly,

362
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 2: no bat see.

363
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:36,880
Speaker 3: I don't.

364
00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't. The whole marriage concept is like it is

365
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: what it is like. Look, I just don't think there's

366
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:47,120
Speaker 1: a rush. I think it's overrated. I'm decigned a contract.

367
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 2: To get married, but I would like to have I've

368
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 2: always wanted to have the life and the the relationship

369
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 2: that I saw with my parents. I've always wanted that.

370
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: I've always looked up to that and not like it's

371
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 2: some like Disney movie. But I mean I literally like

372
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,200
Speaker 2: that's what. That's how I see myself throughout the next

373
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,680
Speaker 2: chapter of my life with a partner.

374
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Speaker 1: Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself, because

375
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Speaker 1: I believe it's generational too, don't you think like in

376
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,959
Speaker 1: a way back then, maybe it's like there was no

377
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,679
Speaker 1: talk of divorce. I would assume Listen, I'm just going.

378
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,879
Speaker 2: Through this process. I just started this podcast, so I

379
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 2: am like, you guys are like way beyond me. I'm

380
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 2: still like, I'm still in like the guppy stage. So

381
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 2: you guys have to give me a break because I

382
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 2: literally just my first like one person podcast where I

383
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,080
Speaker 2: literally was crying and I couldn't even get the words out.

384
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:45,399
Speaker 3: I think I'm with Cheryl. I feel like I was like,

385
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:53,520
Speaker 3: I'm sure I value companionship, I value partnerships, I value commitment,

386
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 3: all of those things I know longer now that I've

387
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 3: already done it, I don't need to coke goal my money.

388
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:07,399
Speaker 2: My god, no, that is a hard lin know we

389
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: are two individuals. Oh yeah, I literally called off my

390
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,239
Speaker 2: I called off my engagement because I was like, if

391
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,680
Speaker 2: you're not going to sign this prenup, there's no had

392
00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: a girl, no prenup, no me, no, no no co mingling,

393
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 2: no no nor.

394
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 3: Mama works hard and mama pays for her own place,

395
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 3: and I pay for my own groceries and my own

396
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 3: car and my own house children, And I don't need that.

397
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,919
Speaker 3: Correct love for someone to walk along beside me, I

398
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 3: would like that, but a contract that binds it.

399
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,159
Speaker 1: We're not one just because we're together, does it not

400
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,520
Speaker 1: mean like it does two separate people, two separate lives,

401
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: and hopefully we're compatible.

402
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: Great, So, Diana, Like, what if you're walking, if you're

403
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:01,400
Speaker 2: in the super market, because you know that's where you meet.

404
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 2: The hottest guys is always in the super Really, if

405
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: you're a market you meet some hot gyme, what are

406
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:05,439
Speaker 2: you gonna do?

407
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 3: No, they are not in Whole Foods. They are not.

408
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:11,879
Speaker 3: They're not standing next, they're not doing it. They're not.

409
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 2: They probably are you just Chelsea, though I seriously never

410
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,280
Speaker 2: leave my house. By the way, just because you're wearing

411
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,479
Speaker 2: a hat doesn't mean that makes you hotter, by the way,

412
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 2: it does.

413
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 3: Stopping attention, I'm not listening to anyone and I don't

414
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,679
Speaker 3: pay attention at all whatsoever.

415
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 1: But also's energy, right, Like if you are ready. When

416
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: you are ready. There, you know, it's like, I'm my

417
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,080
Speaker 1: energy is like, don't look at me twice, that's what

418
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: my energy is giving off.

419
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, you're so gorgeous. That's hard for a lot of people.

420
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 2: They're like, You're like, don't look at me. They're like, oh,

421
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:43,560
Speaker 2: I don't.

422
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 1: Leave my house, like I instacart, I don't go to

423
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: grocery stores.

424
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 2: By the way, I know a lot of people in

425
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 2: Santa Barbara, like really good people. I'm gonna I'm gonna

426
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: introduce you to.

427
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 3: Okay, almost makeup here. It looks so.

428
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,119
Speaker 1: Perfect, Well, thank you, and it's just therapeutic for me.

429
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: It takes me three hours get ready. I'm not kidding.

430
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: Oh that's two three hours.

431
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: But I don't have it.

432
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 2: I'm a fifteen minute. Well today I got my hair

433
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:08,840
Speaker 2: blown out, but like if it's my own self, I'm

434
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 2: like fifteen minutes, I'm I'm lay my clothes. I know

435
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 2: exactly what I'm wearing. Boom.

436
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: What can my listeners do that are listening on this

437
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving Day? What can they do to really, you know,

438
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: I guess feel the void of being alone? Like any

439
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 1: suggestions as far as keeping their spirits up.

440
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 3: I okay, Kelly, forgive me. But I believe there is

441
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 3: a really safe space being alone. I I genuinely love

442
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 3: being alone. I think there is a spot where you

443
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:48,640
Speaker 3: can sit in your own self and get to know yourself.

444
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: And that's so make sure of you.

445
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 3: Oh, it's not always easy.

446
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 1: It's called adulting.

447
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,320
Speaker 3: Like, wow, I'm like truly adulting.

448
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 2: You guys, don't use words I don't know what they

449
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 2: mean yet, don't use adulting and things like that.

450
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,919
Speaker 1: It's not fair adulting, Kelly, you better know what that means.

451
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 3: I would say, it's not always easy. I have had

452
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:14,479
Speaker 3: a really tough week. I've looked at some heart in

453
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,880
Speaker 3: my life this week, and I have felt really lonely.

454
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 3: I felt really really alone. And I think that's a

455
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 3: very humanly nature thing to do, you know, to just

456
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 3: sit in your own space and just feel really alone

457
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 3: and want.

458
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: Do you I mean, like, honestly, is it better? Like

459
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: when someone feels let's say, lonely and they're having to

460
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,280
Speaker 1: go like this is the worst, Like when I have

461
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,119
Speaker 1: to go to a family gathering and the last thing

462
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: I want to do is just pretend I'm happy and

463
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 1: like all festive and like, you know, everyone's all in

464
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 1: their couples, and my sisters with her fiance, my mom

465
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,280
Speaker 1: and my stepdad, and then it's like me and my

466
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: little frenchie, who like snores really loud. And there's always

467
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: this like awkward thing where it's like, ohky, hey, do

468
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:02,679
Speaker 1: I help with the deck? Or like what do you

469
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: need help? Like what do I do? I guess what

470
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 1: do you?

471
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: I thrive? And it's like that I thrive like that

472
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 3: I do because I do feel like a very strong woman.

473
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 3: I feel very confident, I really empowered.

474
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 1: Where do you get that from?

475
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 3: You're raised, right, lots of trauma therapy, a lot, you know.

476
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 3: I always was kind of this person, and then I

477
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 3: got married and I lived in a marriage where there

478
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 3: was a lot of brokenness and and trauma and just

479
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 3: gaslighting and manipulation, and there was a lot of things.

480
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 3: I was never going to please the man that I

481
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 3: was with. I was never going to be pleasing. But

482
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:02,520
Speaker 3: to me, that's okay, because I'm not a pleasing human being.

483
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 3: I love me and I love myself, and I feel

484
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 3: very strong and very kind and secure and who I am.

485
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:20,520
Speaker 3: And there was a moment in time that that got

486
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 3: taken away from me. Someone that I loved so much.

487
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 3: I truly wanted to be a pleasing wife and what

488
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 3: I thought the Bible designed for a woman to be.

489
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 3: And I think that that just took everything from me.

490
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 3: I lost who I was. And I think through tons

491
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: of therapy and diving in dogs diving into me again,

492
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:59,800
Speaker 3: I'll never lose that ever again. I know who I am,

493
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 3: I know what I want, I know how I want

494
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 3: to be treated, and I will never ever settle and

495
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,240
Speaker 3: I will never ever lose me again. Preach I'll never

496
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 3: do it.

497
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, it's interesting we were talking when

498
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:16,600
Speaker 2: you were talking about Cheryl. You know, you're talking about

499
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 2: being being alone and gaslighting and you know all these

500
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,760
Speaker 2: things that are trying to like keep you know, break

501
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 2: you down, and you know there is there have been moments,

502
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 2: you know when because I am the provider, I'm the

503
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,719
Speaker 2: mom and the dad for my children, and you know

504
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,800
Speaker 2: when you're being like really pushed down like that, or

505
00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:38,840
Speaker 2: you know, like just people are you know, trying to

506
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 2: like make you feel like you're not doing what they

507
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,479
Speaker 2: you know, how they you should be doing it, or

508
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: the way that they want you to do it, or

509
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: you know the best way, this way whatever it is,

510
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: or you're just not good enough for that moment. I

511
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: think that, you know, for me, that was one of

512
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: the times where I would just I could I could

513
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 2: just feel it. I have really bad psoriasis, and I

514
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 2: could just feel my psoriasis like it was just all

515
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 2: it would just would just like start to go crazy

516
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:14,959
Speaker 2: and I could literally feel it, and and then I

517
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 2: would just like close my eyes and I would just

518
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:22,280
Speaker 2: be like that. I'm like, I am not going to

519
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: let anybody take me away from me. And for some

520
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 2: weird reason like swearing at myself. This is after someone

521
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 2: had gas let me and you know, told me that

522
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 2: I was like awful and you know and liked me,

523
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 2: and I had no friends and dah da dah I

524
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 2: was going to be nobody, and I was always going

525
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 2: to be nobody. Like every single guy I've ever dated,

526
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,719
Speaker 2: You're a nobody. You're an absolute nobody. You're a nobody,

527
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 2: and uh even on television, like I was always a nobody.

528
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 2: You're awful, human, fat, ugly, nobody, uneducated, I mean, even whatever.

529
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 2: And I would literally just say that to myself with

530
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: my eyes closed, and I swear to God, the energy

531
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 2: just shift it and I'm like I'm not going to

532
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 2: put up with anyone, and like the next day I

533
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: would do something like wildly successful or you know, really

534
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: good like whatever. I would run faster or do whatever

535
00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:17,800
Speaker 2: it was. I don't know if that's healthy, but that

536
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 2: was my way of coping with you know, just feeling

537
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 2: like like really feeling like and I could feel myself

538
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 2: also just like I could my adrenaline would be so

539
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 2: high that I could feel myself actually losing weight. I

540
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 2: know that sounds like a weird thing, but I could

541
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: literally feel myself losing weight.

542
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:40,280
Speaker 1: No, I hear. I can relate so much. Like it's

543
00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: interesting because the body keeps the score, like it really does.

544
00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: So like when it comes to you know that book

545
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,560
Speaker 1: Cheryl A million times?

546
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: I love it a million times.

547
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: Have you read it, Kelly? You have to read it.

548
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: Oh, I have to read this.

549
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: I'm going to get it for you for Christmas. It

550
00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,520
Speaker 1: is I mean, you can also listen to it on audible.

551
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 1: It'll it's a doozy though, so maybe it's better to

552
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: read it. But it is so true, like when you're talking,

553
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: your sosias is being like activated in a way. It's

554
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:05,480
Speaker 1: your body, it's we I mean, I still have so

555
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 1: much trauma. And this is why I also do somatic

556
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: therapy as well. But like, this is why dance saved

557
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: my life because it's like there is a way to

558
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 1: tap into it, right and your body's telling you something, Kelly.

559
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 1: So when you stood up for yourself, did it go away?

560
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 2: For my own self? I told myself like I didn't

561
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 2: have anyone. I didn't tell anyone. Oh my god, this

562
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 2: is happening right. I just like, no one is going

563
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 2: to tell me that I'm not good enough and I'm

564
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 2: just going to go and be better because I wasn't

565
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: going to like put up with it anymore.

566
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 1: And you did it affect your body?

567
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 3: Though?

568
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: Like did you did it go away?

569
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,840
Speaker 2: I mean I would you know? I you know it

570
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 2: would be you know EDB and flow of course throughout that,

571
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 2: but you know it was not exactly the easiest thing.

572
00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 2: And like when you can see something, it's different when

573
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: you it's different to feel something than when you actually

574
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 2: see it on your body. And people are like, wow,

575
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 2: you're you know, you're really irritated today or something's going

576
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 2: on with your own and I'm.

577
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 1: Just like you, I got hives all over my face, Okay,

578
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: So I used to be a heavy drinker, and I

579
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 1: was the type of drinker where you didn't know if

580
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,120
Speaker 1: I was drunk or sober. So that's the most dangerous

581
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: type of alcoholic, I think. And when my father passed away,

582
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I took one sip of a

583
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,120
Speaker 1: vodka soda, which was my poison of choice, and I

584
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: just broke out into hives because I hadn't dealt like literally,

585
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I stopped drinking for material reasons straight up,

586
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:43,160
Speaker 1: and then I just decided I just don't have any desire,

587
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: I guess, to continue drinking. But like, it is very interesting,

588
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: how like your boy, like you can feel it, like

589
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: when I get anxiety, when my heart drops to my stomach.

590
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,440
Speaker 1: It's like and then yet we're all intuitive, like all

591
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: of us have it right. It's just about trusting yourself

592
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 1: and listening to your body, I guess, which is interesting.

593
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,560
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I don't want anyone to gaslight you. And

594
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 2: if they are gaslighting you, text me and I will

595
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,440
Speaker 2: talk to you because I don't like that. So I'm like,

596
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,359
Speaker 2: now I'm going to be like the gaslighting cop. That

597
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 2: just doesn't work for me, And I won't let anyone

598
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,960
Speaker 2: talk to me like that, and I definitely am not

599
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 2: going to let anyone talk to you like that. So

600
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 2: that's just not happening.

601
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: A really unhealthy relationship teaches you what is not right.

602
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 3: So I hopefully, hopefully I was a very secure attached

603
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 3: human being before I got married.

604
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: I feel like you are still. I was going to

605
00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 1: say that.

606
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 3: Well, I am now, I know because I've tested since.

607
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: I've Kelly, who are you remember we talked about this

608
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 1: last time.

609
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 2: I'm working on it. I'm a working progress.

610
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: I've got to center that test.

611
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 3: I am a very securely attached human being now, and

612
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 3: I was before I got married. But somewhere along the

613
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 3: way in a relationship, as I tried to find myself

614
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 3: and tried to become this we I mean codependent, that's

615
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 3: what we were, you know what I mean.

616
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 1: I'm definitely there still.

617
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: This person who relied on another human being. It took me.

618
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 3: It was very hard for me to learn to rely

619
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 3: on another human being. So there was the lines were

620
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 3: very flawed with me when it came to relying on

621
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 3: another human being and then being my own. And so

622
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 3: when the mayor ended, it was very hard for me

623
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 3: and very traumatic to reshape the lines.

624
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: Because you were vulnerable and you basically let go of

625
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: control right in order to be able to be that

626
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:54,240
Speaker 1: vulnerable person with somebody.

627
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: Yes, And I see, I've never had that because I

628
00:35:57,239 --> 00:36:01,839
Speaker 2: was a provider. I never I never was. I was

629
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:06,919
Speaker 2: codependent in the way that I would try to make

630
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 2: myself feel like I needed that person even though I

631
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 2: was the one doing all the work. And so it

632
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: was this very like you know, this this crazy strong

633
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:20,240
Speaker 2: dynamic with myself of like, you know, can I trust

634
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,040
Speaker 2: this really trust this person, like you know, how much

635
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 2: can I ask of them? And never like asking anything,

636
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 2: like never saying like asking them a question or you know,

637
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 2: second guessing anything like just never you know, which.

638
00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 3: Was codependency in general is really really really gross. I mean,

639
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:39,359
Speaker 3: it's just off.

640
00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,359
Speaker 1: Have you read the book Codependent No More?

641
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,360
Speaker 2: I think I. But I definitely have had some codependency

642
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: with some guys that I've dated in the past. I

643
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 2: definitely have had that.

644
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 3: Absolutely, there's a waterfall effect when you have codependency. Yes,

645
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 3: you know how to be codependent. I think that it

646
00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,320
Speaker 3: is a it is a slippery slope.

647
00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: But it's also different forms. Like I'm rereading it right,

648
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 1: there's a new codependent. No more like a newer version,

649
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 1: and I'm actually listening to it right now, and I'm

650
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: shocked as to what I was hearing, because I was like, wait,

651
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: I thought codependency meant like codependency like I need you

652
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: in my I need another person in my life that

653
00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,839
Speaker 1: I'm going to just rely on for everything. But it's

654
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 1: not that. It's also being the breadwinner and also wanting to.

655
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 3: Good morning, good morning, good morning. It's so great to

656
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 3: hear from you. It's all the thing. So we were

657
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 3: talking about dating into the holidays, and it's all of

658
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:37,280
Speaker 3: those things. I think about, why do I even bother?

659
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:44,040
Speaker 3: Why do I even bother dating simply because you slip?

660
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 3: Or I also think, and Cheryl and Kelly tell me

661
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 3: if I'm wrong, But I think I'm in a place

662
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 3: that I'm too healed, I'm too therapized. I've had too

663
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:56,720
Speaker 3: much therapy.

664
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 1: You think there's a such a thing as too much therapy?

665
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 3: I am too therapies.

666
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 1: Absolutely interesting. I've never heard that before.

667
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: I haven't either.

668
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 1: I've been in therapy since I was four. You're no,

669
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:08,800
Speaker 1: you're very you have it.

670
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 2: You have such empathy, and you know, you're very verbal,

671
00:38:13,719 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 2: and you're very open and communicative.

672
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:19,439
Speaker 3: Also in a place where like every time some god

673
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 3: texts me every single morning, he's like, hey, good morning,

674
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 3: and I'm like, nope, nope, this is a red flag.

675
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,479
Speaker 3: It's a red flag, hard red flag. No one should

676
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 3: text you every single day. What aren't you doing? Don't

677
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,440
Speaker 3: you have a job? What is life?

678
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: It takes two seconds, though, mind you to text good morning.

679
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 2: I think that's nice that he's saying good morning. I

680
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 2: think that's so thoughtful.

681
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 1: No, it's not a red I think I think you're

682
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: just not ready to be maybe in a relationship. That's okay, though, Yeah.

683
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 2: I think it's good. It's nice to when you're when

684
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,800
Speaker 2: someone there's someone that you care about, when they say

685
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 2: something like they send you like a meme or say

686
00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: good morning or wait.

687
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:00,480
Speaker 1: Why is it a red flag? I'm just out of cureuriosity.

688
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 3: For me, it's a red flag because they don't know

689
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 3: you yet. So I'm only saying that in a sense.

690
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,319
Speaker 1: I totally hear you. I get it.

691
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 3: Yes, if you've only known that morning or two, they

692
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 3: don't truly know you. Know, that's weird, depth of like

693
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 3: your core. Uh, they shouldn't be texting you every single day.

694
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 1: Like, I guess you asked for that, right, Like, that's

695
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,359
Speaker 1: one thing which I'm pretty sure I can bet my

696
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: right ass cheek. You didn't ask for that.

697
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 2: I didn't know, but I'm a Texter, so I that's

698
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 2: what I do with my friends like work. I'm like,

699
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,600
Speaker 2: good morning, How are you hoping you have a drake

700
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 2: great day? Like I'm that's like my way of.

701
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,399
Speaker 1: Maybe I'm too maybe I'm Can you start texting me that?

702
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,840
Speaker 1: That would be nice. I would definitely like put me

703
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: on that chain. Copy paste, copy paste.

704
00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 2: No, I don't copy and paste. I write it myself.

705
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 1: That's what I would do. I don't have the freaking

706
00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:52,279
Speaker 1: I'm like, come on, how do we can how can

707
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 1: I multitask though there's no such thing? What do you

708
00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:58,000
Speaker 1: girls think about splitting the holidays with your kids? Like

709
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: I remember I did that or I until my dad

710
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 1: decided to move out of the country. But how do

711
00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:05,880
Speaker 1: you feel about all that?

712
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 3: I don't know if you're doing it yet, Kelly, are you.

713
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,919
Speaker 2: I've never split my I've always had my kids. I've

714
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 2: only had I've been on holidays with my kids. I've

715
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 2: never I've never i've had my ex's kids with us,

716
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 2: but I've never not been with my children and I will.

717
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,799
Speaker 2: I mean, that's something that I'm in fear of. Is like,

718
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 2: you know, I'm excited for them because my kids are

719
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 2: so much older. Man, they're twenty four and twenty six.

720
00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:32,279
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, but.

721
00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,480
Speaker 2: What happens when they meet these there are these guys

722
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 2: and they're like, Mom, we're going to go to so

723
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 2: AND's ho's house. I want to be devastated. I'm I'll

724
00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,080
Speaker 2: be like, what where.

725
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 3: I would tell you my children are almost nine and

726
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 3: almost and we split, and I would say it's really

727
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 3: really hard. Oh, I see them. So this is my

728
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 3: first Thanksgiving alone with the kids. So I'm thankful my

729
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:59,440
Speaker 3: dad and his wife will come out and be with us,

730
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 3: because I was really worried about us being alone, you know,

731
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 3: because I feel like I'm in this space where I'm

732
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: just trying to go above and beyond to make sure

733
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 3: the kids are are full and happy and loved and

734
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: have this really wonderful life that they feel really full

735
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,320
Speaker 3: when they're with me, because I want them to love

736
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:32,359
Speaker 3: to be with me, and because I am single and

737
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:36,000
Speaker 3: he has a girlfriend. I also sit in this other

738
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 3: space where I just want to choke her.

739
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 1: Totally, girl, thank you.

740
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 3: I am really grateful that she is kind.

741
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 1: Totally you are, let's talk, let's be real.

742
00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 3: It is like a double edge. I am really thankful

743
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 3: that she is kind to my children and that she

744
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 3: is kind.

745
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: She better be with the hell. You don't get a

746
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: gold star to be kind.

747
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 2: Husband up with a girl, I mean a woman, so

748
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: that I could be like we're done. I literally was like,

749
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: here's your new girlfriend or done?

750
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: Stop it.

751
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 2: I couldn't take it anymore.

752
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 3: I did not do that.

753
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 2: I did.

754
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 3: You are with someone for so long, like I was

755
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 3: with my ex husband for fifteen years, and.

756
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 1: Then it is.

757
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 3: Okay, So overnight I don't feel like I know him

758
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,360
Speaker 3: at all, Like like literally I went to sleep and

759
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 3: I woke up and I'm like, who the heck is

760
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 3: this human being? And just that alone, for me in particular,

761
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 3: is really hard and it's really hard to grasp because

762
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 3: when you marry someone and you're you're with someone for

763
00:42:43,640 --> 00:42:47,839
Speaker 3: that long, you are most intimate with that human being.

764
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 2: And so.

765
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 3: From that and again, I didn't ask for divorce. It

766
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 3: was his choice. Although I'm grateful for it now, I'm

767
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 3: very happy now. It is amazing to me how it

768
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 3: goes overnight you do not know that person anymore. They

769
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 3: are no longer you're human.

770
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,240
Speaker 1: Is it the communication or like what happened?

771
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 3: I think it's a number of things.

772
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: See, mine was a slow death. Mine was like mine

773
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 2: was like a Mine was like a crockpot where I

774
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 2: was like in there just boiling up, boiling up. I

775
00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: was like, I was like, Okay, it's continuing, it's continuing,

776
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: there's continuing. I can only handle so much, Like I

777
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 2: couldn't take it.

778
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 3: Because I am so loyal to a fault. I am

779
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 3: loyal to a fault to myself that I likely would

780
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 3: have wrote it out for sixty years. I would have

781
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 3: stayed married. I would have been in this unhappy marriage

782
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 3: for sixty years for the rest of my life. I

783
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,720
Speaker 3: would have seen my children graduate high school and college

784
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: and get married and have children themselves. And I would

785
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:57,480
Speaker 3: have lived in this unhappy marriage had he not chosen

786
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 3: to leave.

787
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 1: But it's a blessing because like if I my mom

788
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: didn't choose to leave my father, I don't think I

789
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,839
Speaker 1: would be here today because kids are very observant, as

790
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: you know, and we can feel it all. So it's

791
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: like at the end of the day. What's the healthiest scenario?

792
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,880
Speaker 2: You know, I mean, I agree with you down too, Like,

793
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 2: I mean, I would have stayed even though it was

794
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: just such a horrible situation. Like I didn't know any

795
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,760
Speaker 2: I'm from Rockford, Illinois. I mean, no one gets divorced

796
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 2: in Rockford.

797
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 3: Illinois and they're like, Kelly, no one.

798
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:32,600
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, like I'm old is but I just why.

799
00:44:32,719 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 2: No one knows the true story. No one knows what

800
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:39,640
Speaker 2: Rockf Illinois is exactly. But like people, people would get

801
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 2: divorced there, and I was like, my when like someone

802
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 2: got divorced my parents be like they got divorced. I

803
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, what does that mean? What happened?

804
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 2: Like is it infectious? Like is it contagious?

805
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: But that's why it's important to have these conversations because

806
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:53,359
Speaker 1: it's normal, I know.

807
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 2: But my point is I'm with like Deanna, like I

808
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:58,759
Speaker 2: would have stayed. I just I just could. I just

809
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 2: couldn't do it anymore. My kids were growing up and

810
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:05,799
Speaker 2: it was just like so much. It was I was

811
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 2: alone so much, and then what I was exposed to

812
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,240
Speaker 2: on top of that, it was just like I couldn't

813
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 2: handle it.

814
00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:14,280
Speaker 1: It's glad you guys didn't stay.

815
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 3: The kids said to me once I finally moved into

816
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 3: a place on my own and we were here for

817
00:45:19,280 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 3: a year, and I said to the kids, how are you?

818
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:24,839
Speaker 3: How are you feeling? You know? And again, I'm pro

819
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 3: mental health. I have had them in therapy. I'm doing

820
00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,200
Speaker 3: all of the things to make sure that they, god,

821
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 3: I hope turn out okay and as as possible, I'm

822
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 3: trying all of the all of the things. But I

823
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:41,000
Speaker 3: remember saying to my kids, you know, how how are you?

824
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 3: What do you think now that it's just me here

825
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 3: and Daddy's in his own space. And the kids looked

826
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 3: at me and they said, we're really grateful we don't

827
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 3: have to hear you fight anymore.

828
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: Oh, right do they are? They open? Wow to you

829
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,240
Speaker 1: with the feelings.

830
00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 3: Tell me that's all like gut wrenching. Tell me that

831
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 3: not just got wrenching real To this day, I could

832
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 3: sob right now because I would say that Stephen and

833
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 3: I both thought we were doing a really good job

834
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:13,799
Speaker 3: to hide it from them.

835
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: To oh, it's just like we're like my parents never

836
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:20,760
Speaker 1: fought in front of me, but like I felt it heavy.

837
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:21,400
Speaker 1: It was heavy.

838
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:25,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I think I thought we were doing

839
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 3: a really good job of protecting the kids.

840
00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:34,320
Speaker 1: But really, but you did by breaking up. Seriously though seriously,

841
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,919
Speaker 1: I can't even it's hard probably to see. I mean,

842
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 1: for me, I don't I honestly think I would have.

843
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,399
Speaker 1: I already have a bad pattern of picking of men

844
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,360
Speaker 1: because I never really had a stable man in my

845
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:47,520
Speaker 1: life as far as when I was a young girl.

846
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:50,359
Speaker 1: But like, I don't even think I think I would

847
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 1: have been off my rock or if I if I

848
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,200
Speaker 1: witnessed more than what I witnessed with my parents.

849
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:01,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that I learned through lots of that.

850
00:47:01,320 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 3: I come from a long history of abandonment. Like my

851
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 3: mother died when I was young, and that's a source

852
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 3: of a man. I'm sorry my dad left my mom,

853
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 3: and that is a source of abandonment. And I'm like,

854
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 3: he ever chose me. He always chose women over me,

855
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 3: And pretty much every relationship that I have had since

856
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 3: has been men that have abandoned me. So I think

857
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:32,839
Speaker 3: that I am finally in a place in my life

858
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:36,560
Speaker 3: or I'm just I'm not willing to do that any longer.

859
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 3: I want someone and I don't care who they are.

860
00:47:39,560 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 3: I don't care what they look like. I don't care

861
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 3: what they do for a living. I don't care how

862
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:47,360
Speaker 3: much money they make. I just want to feel loved

863
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:52,280
Speaker 3: and chosen, and I won't settle for less than that.

864
00:47:52,280 --> 00:48:05,719
Speaker 1: That's beautiful. I was attracted to the bad boy, so like,

865
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:10,080
Speaker 1: I hope to get to where you are, because that's all.

866
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 1: I didn't have that father figure, you know. Yeah, but yeah,

867
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 1: I also come from abandonment. I am very much anxious attachment. Hello,

868
00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:19,319
Speaker 1: my name is Cheryl Burke, and I am anxious attachment

869
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:27,400
Speaker 1: and recovering alcoholic. So, uh, there's that. How about you, Kelly,

870
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 1: Are you into solo traveling during the holidays or in

871
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: general when you're single.

872
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:35,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I've done it for the entire time, always

873
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 2: just traveled.

874
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 1: With my kids, like for the on vacation and stuff.

875
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,359
Speaker 2: And that you know that mom just with her kids.

876
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,359
Speaker 2: Everyone else is like, you know, the kids are the mother.

877
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:46,600
Speaker 2: Father and mother are screaming at their kids, and I'm

878
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,759
Speaker 2: just like sitting there, my kids are not moving. And

879
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 2: I also I'm like, wait a minute, this is so

880
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 2: not fair, Like I'm the one that's sitting there and

881
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 2: my kids are well mannered, and everybody else has like

882
00:48:56,480 --> 00:48:58,840
Speaker 2: a co parent and the kids are running around like

883
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 2: like you know wild. I'm like, how is this fair?

884
00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: You have your kids in check and then you've got

885
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,280
Speaker 1: two grown ass adults.

886
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,600
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Why why do I have to be that person?

887
00:49:08,640 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 2: Why can't I Why can't my kids be like, you know,

888
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 2: drinking too much coca cola? And like, how.

889
00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,880
Speaker 1: About solo traveling without kids?

890
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: Way too much sugar coca cola.

891
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. We did miss a flight though, once

892
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:21,400
Speaker 2: because my kids were like on their phones and I

893
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 2: just was like, okay, you guys are to be responsible.

894
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 2: We totally missed the flight. My twin brother was like incensed,

895
00:49:27,760 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 2: what are you guys doing. I'm like, we missed the flight.

896
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 2: We never missed a flight since them.

897
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: How about solo traveling without kids? I love traveling solo.

898
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 2: I have so much anxiety when I travel.

899
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 3: No, Kelly, it's.

900
00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: The best thing to me, and you love it so much.

901
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 2: But because I wasn't. When I wasn't, I was. I

902
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 2: started modeling when I was fifteen, so I traveled so

903
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:49,920
Speaker 2: much as a young as a young person and just

904
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:53,200
Speaker 2: traveling like all over the place. Like people are like, oh,

905
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 2: modeling is so great. You are always by yourself on

906
00:49:57,320 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 2: a plane to like Asia to your to California to

907
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 2: New York, and it's like one day here, one day there,

908
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:08,480
Speaker 2: and by yourself. It was so much. And then when

909
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,360
Speaker 2: my kids travel, I mean, I couldn't even travel with

910
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,200
Speaker 2: my kids. I couldn't even drive a car for a

911
00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 2: long for a long period of time, I couldn't be alone.

912
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 3: I'm a corporate flight attendant. I've done it for over

913
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 3: fourteen years. I love it. If I am home too long,

914
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,360
Speaker 3: I feel lost. I need to be on the road.

915
00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:31,840
Speaker 3: I need to be traveling. I need to go and

916
00:50:31,920 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 3: be somewhere and stay in a hotel. And I love

917
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:39,839
Speaker 3: hotels all of the things. But Kelly, you said, people

918
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 3: are always like, oh my gosh, your life is so amazing.

919
00:50:42,719 --> 00:50:46,279
Speaker 3: You're traveling to all these places and you're going all

920
00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:48,800
Speaker 3: over the world. And you know what I would say

921
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:53,040
Speaker 3: is I do it alone. I am alone most of

922
00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 3: the time. And I do genuinely love my job. I

923
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 3: love what I do. I love the family that I

924
00:51:00,640 --> 00:51:04,480
Speaker 3: I am so deeply grateful for them and for the paycheck.

925
00:51:04,480 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 3: And I could put a roof over the kids heads.

926
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 3: But I do it alone all the time. I'm alone

927
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 3: on the road ninety nine and a half percent of

928
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:16,399
Speaker 3: the time.

929
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,399
Speaker 1: Would you like to not be alone? Would you want

930
00:51:18,400 --> 00:51:19,560
Speaker 1: someone to travel?

931
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:21,440
Speaker 3: I think that if I could live in a perfect

932
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 3: world and I were to have someone and choose someone,

933
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 3: I would love it if they would join me. Yes,

934
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:31,440
Speaker 3: that would be because I genuinely love to travel and

935
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:35,879
Speaker 3: I deeply love my job. I think if I were

936
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 3: to find someone and they were a good match for me,

937
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,759
Speaker 3: it would it would be for them to join me

938
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:41,839
Speaker 3: on the road. Yeah.

939
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 1: Has it ever been like a thing where you were

940
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 1: dating and let's say it's just too hard because of

941
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 1: your schedule of traveling.

942
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 3: Or yeah, I'm listen, why do you think I'm still single?

943
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:56,360
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I don't travel so now I would

944
00:51:56,360 --> 00:52:00,160
Speaker 1: say that it is literally my life revolves around my

945
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 1: job or I.

946
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 3: Have the kids.

947
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: Yeah. Have you met anyone traveling like that?

948
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:05,320
Speaker 2: I have?

949
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,200
Speaker 3: And I think that I meet really great people when

950
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 3: I'm on the road. I would I meet people that

951
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 3: I would actually really like to have a relationship with.

952
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 3: But I'm on the road.

953
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting, is that too? Like, you know,

954
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 2: I travel a lot for work now as well, and

955
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 2: you know, I find myself even though I can't. I

956
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:29,960
Speaker 2: don't have to come home. I mean, my kids are older,

957
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 2: they go to work, they have their own jobs. But

958
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 2: I find still find myself. When I was a model,

959
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:36,839
Speaker 2: I'd be like, I just take the right eye home.

960
00:52:36,880 --> 00:52:38,279
Speaker 2: I have to get home, you know. I always have

961
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:39,719
Speaker 2: to get home to my kids. Always had to get

962
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:41,960
Speaker 2: home to my kids. And I still do the same thing.

963
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,920
Speaker 2: I'm like on a flight six am to Florida and

964
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 2: I'm on a flight coming home, like wait, I could

965
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: be staying overnight, i could be feeling gorgeous like wherever

966
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 2: I am, and I'm like on a plane to be

967
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,319
Speaker 2: back home just in case. I'm always like just in case,

968
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 2: good mom, No, But I mean like dance right, Like,

969
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 2: I mean, it's one thing to be alone, and I understand.

970
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 2: I understand what I do and how I do it.

971
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 2: But you know, I also can like maybe give myself

972
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,360
Speaker 2: a little I can actually give myself a little grace

973
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: and say, like it's okay to do some things that

974
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 2: I may like, yeah, like why.

975
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:24,480
Speaker 1: Not, and like pamper yourself and give back to yourself, right.

976
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 2: I mean I think it's so I love when John

977
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 2: said she gave you know, she gives a lot of

978
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:32,080
Speaker 2: other people all disgrace, But I think too we need

979
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:35,919
Speaker 2: to also really give ourselves. I mean's you know, that's

980
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 2: the lesson, that's the takeaway that I'm getting from today,

981
00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 2: is like giving myself some grace.

982
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:41,280
Speaker 1: And I think that's what we do when we choose

983
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 1: to be single. To be quite honest, though it's hard,

984
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: and at times especially I think around the holidays it

985
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 1: gets triggered for me at least, But what are also

986
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:54,399
Speaker 1: some great things about being single over the holidays other

987
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 1: than I don't have to I mean, I used to

988
00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:59,640
Speaker 1: go all out with my ex husband. I paid for crazy.

989
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:06,280
Speaker 3: Yes, listen, you can come home. I have the best house,

990
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:11,319
Speaker 3: I have the best neighbors, and I pay for it.

991
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: All by myself.

992
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:14,279
Speaker 3: Good for you, and whatever I want, and I can

993
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 3: watch whatever I want, and I can do whatever I want. Amen,

994
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:20,400
Speaker 3: A lot of piece in that.

995
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 2: And eat whatever you want and whatever time you want. Yes,

996
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:30,680
Speaker 2: we'll throw the mask on whatever in your pajamas, pimple patches.

997
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 2: No one can say a word.

998
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 3: If someone is coming into this. If they are, they

999
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 3: have to be really great because it's going to take

1000
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 3: a lot for me to give up what have right now?

1001
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 1: Why do you have to give up what you have?

1002
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,879
Speaker 1: Men are needy? Yeah, but then no, you're not. No. No,

1003
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: You remember we talked about in the beginning with two individuals,

1004
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:56,399
Speaker 1: you know, right coming into this thing so called relationship.

1005
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that I will never ever again. I will not.

1006
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:04,520
Speaker 3: I'm going to I'm going to be me and live

1007
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 3: my life and still full in this aspect. And I

1008
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 3: will only ever choose to bring someone else into that

1009
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 3: if they add to it.

1010
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 1: Correct.

1011
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 2: But I'm just trying to think back to to Cheryl's

1012
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,239
Speaker 2: question about like what are the things that like are

1013
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 2: good to be when you're you know, why is it

1014
00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:25,680
Speaker 2: good to be single during the holiday? So you can

1015
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 2: eat what you want, drink what you want, where what

1016
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 2: you want where, the makeup that you want, The fragrance that.

1017
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,360
Speaker 1: You make gives for yourself instead of taking.

1018
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 2: It gifts for yourself. No one is micromanaging or.

1019
00:55:38,320 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 1: Also the in laws, like not everyone has great in

1020
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: laws or had great in laws. You know, it's like

1021
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: you were lucky, data, I was lucky.

1022
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 3: I'm still really lucky. I really love them.

1023
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:50,560
Speaker 1: Before we wrap it up, what are you guys both

1024
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 1: looking forward to this holiday season?

1025
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 2: What am I looking forward to? You know, I moved

1026
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 2: out of my apartment into an apartment with my ex

1027
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:03,879
Speaker 2: fiance and back into my own a little apartment, which

1028
00:56:03,920 --> 00:56:07,360
Speaker 2: I actually love. It's like a hug and to you know,

1029
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,759
Speaker 2: have our tree after things to you know, tomorrow we're

1030
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:14,879
Speaker 2: gonna get our tree and just really just enjoy our

1031
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,399
Speaker 2: holiday together and just do things together. And I told

1032
00:56:19,440 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 2: my daughter, I was like, I want to go skating.

1033
00:56:21,040 --> 00:56:25,640
Speaker 2: I just wanted to like do like real things together,

1034
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,319
Speaker 2: like not a much shopping, but just like whatever they

1035
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:30,160
Speaker 2: want to do or the movies. Just do things that

1036
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,640
Speaker 2: like make us a strong family.

1037
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:32,800
Speaker 3: You know.

1038
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm gonna cry.

1039
00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 3: I know I've wanted to cry a thousand times.

1040
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 1: I don't have kids, Hence why there's a dry eye

1041
00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 1: over here.

1042
00:56:40,440 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 2: I'm just so happy to like be with my girls,

1043
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:46,719
Speaker 2: and I am I'm just like just be with us,

1044
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 2: like us and like not like you know, if the

1045
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 2: present's not right or you know, I just am like

1046
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,680
Speaker 2: I just don't want that. I want to just like

1047
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 2: spoil my kids and show them how much I love

1048
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:00,960
Speaker 2: them and just wear pajamas with Vietnam.

1049
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 1: Oh, you guys are such good moms. Do you want

1050
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 1: to adopt me. I'm just kidding.

1051
00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you. Send me your address. I'll send you

1052
00:57:07,520 --> 00:57:08,280
Speaker 3: Christmas present.

1053
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,680
Speaker 1: My love language is not a gift. It's not gift giving.

1054
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: It's like, it's not it's what's the one where someone

1055
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,720
Speaker 1: has to like clean up after himself? What's that called

1056
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: a grown man? Yeah? Right house? New Year's resident? Yeah exactly,

1057
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,920
Speaker 1: my babysitter. That's what I need for Christmas. What are

1058
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:35,480
Speaker 1: New Year's any New Year's resolutions scales?

1059
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:38,640
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm not good with resolutions.

1060
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: I'm either I think like, actually, I need to stop shopping.

1061
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: I'm an addict. Hi, my name is Cheryl and I'm

1062
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 1: an addict. We know this, but now I find it

1063
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,320
Speaker 1: therapeutic to It's Black Friday right now on Amazon. Just

1064
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 1: letting you know.

1065
00:57:53,160 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 3: I know shopping first step for the kids.

1066
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 1: It's in You should have seen it yesterday. It was

1067
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 1: box like it was it, I mean whatever, it made

1068
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 1: me feel good thought time.

1069
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:06,080
Speaker 3: I think if I could just stop eating, that would

1070
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,040
Speaker 3: be really good. Like if I could just.

1071
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 2: We don't want you to stop eating, we want you

1072
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 2: to be.

1073
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,280
Speaker 1: And by the way, you're like a professional cook. I

1074
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: swear I was looking for me.

1075
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 3: I am. I said it before but I am really,

1076
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:26,200
Speaker 3: really grateful that I love my job and I love

1077
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 3: what I do, and I genuinely love to cook hot pockets.

1078
00:58:32,800 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 1: You don't understand. I was raised with hot pockets, so.

1079
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:38,480
Speaker 3: Like hot pockets. I love anything between a pop past eating.

1080
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,640
Speaker 1: I love me some hot pockets. See.

1081
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 2: I can make food, but I'm not sure if it's

1082
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 2: good or not.

1083
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,960
Speaker 3: I feel like I genuinely why don't.

1084
00:58:48,800 --> 00:58:49,400
Speaker 1: You taste it?

1085
00:58:50,280 --> 00:58:52,360
Speaker 2: Taste it? I have a windex on it. You kidding me?

1086
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 1: I bake because I'm O c D and I am

1087
00:58:57,240 --> 00:58:58,240
Speaker 1: to the measurement.

1088
00:58:58,600 --> 00:59:00,080
Speaker 2: You guys are great for me to be around. I

1089
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,640
Speaker 2: need to be around more of you guys, you guys

1090
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 2: more because like you're good for me, are a good balance.

1091
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 2: I need more OCD. I need more, you know the

1092
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:08,440
Speaker 2: nerds from Diana like, I look.

1093
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 3: Like, okay, I'll put everything's gonna be okay.

1094
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:17,200
Speaker 1: Everything will be okay. And if it's not just numb

1095
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: through productivity.

1096
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 2: It works. Let's say I'm not a big resolution like,

1097
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:28,840
Speaker 2: I'm more of a solution kind of person. Yeah, that's

1098
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 2: my thing with my kids. I'm like, okay, what's this.

1099
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:33,200
Speaker 2: We know what the problem was. What's the solution That's

1100
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 2: what I tell them all the time. So we know

1101
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 2: what the problem is from last year and I'm not

1102
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 2: married and I am moving forward.

1103
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 1: Problem is that a problem?

1104
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? Wait, where the solutions? It was a blessing, It

1105
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:52,920
Speaker 2: was a blessing. But this year. My solution for this

1106
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 2: year is to do more things that make me genuinely happy,

1107
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 2: so that like I went beginning when we were talking

1108
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,520
Speaker 2: about putting on my safety belt, just so that I

1109
01:00:03,640 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 2: feel happy, and so then I can express that to

1110
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 2: other people. And that's what I really really want, because

1111
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 2: then I can be more productive and maybe a better cook,

1112
01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 2: maybe a kinder person, maybe a better human.

1113
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 1: Maybe you'll just love yourself more and realize, you know what,

1114
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 1: I hate cooking, So I'm not going to waste my time.

1115
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 3: Don't don't do it.

1116
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go over to your eyes house.

1117
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:34,760
Speaker 1: You like do you start coming from you stock her

1118
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,360
Speaker 1: Instagram like I did. She made some like amazing hot

1119
01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:38,640
Speaker 1: pockets with like eggs in it.

1120
01:00:39,200 --> 01:00:42,680
Speaker 2: Love delicious.

1121
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 1: Oh god, that sounds good. I'm just gonna be over

1122
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: here eating stuffing until I blow up. So thanks to

1123
01:00:51,120 --> 01:00:54,520
Speaker 1: my single sisterhood, this was great chatting with you both,

1124
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,080
Speaker 1: and we want to wish all of you listening a

1125
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:01,720
Speaker 1: happy Thanksgiving and holiday season. Here for you listeners during

1126
01:01:01,800 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 1: these colder months. So if you are single and want

1127
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 1: some advice, we want to hear from you. Call us

1128
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:12,439
Speaker 1: one eight four four four I Do Pod eight four

1129
01:01:12,520 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 1: four four four three six seven six ' three or

1130
01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: email us at IDO pod at iHeartRadio dot com, follow

1131
01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:27,000
Speaker 1: us on Instagram and TikTok at id Part two pod.

1132
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 1: All this information will be in the show notes. Make

1133
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: sure to rate and review this podcast I Do Part

1134
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 1: two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the

1135
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:38,560
Speaker 1: main objective.