WEBVTT - How to give tough feedback

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to give tough feedback. This tip,

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<v Speaker 1>like a few others in recent episodes, is from management

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<v Speaker 1>expert Allison Green's book Ask a Manager. One of the

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<v Speaker 1>toughest parts of managing is telling people when stuff is

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<v Speaker 1>going wrong. No one likes to give bad news, especially

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<v Speaker 1>if you can't then run out the door and disappear.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to show up and work with this person tomorrow,

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<v Speaker 1>and tomorrow and the next day. So what should you do?

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<v Speaker 1>Green writes that because you have authority and thus a

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<v Speaker 1>great deal of control over people's livelihoods, you have an

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<v Speaker 1>obligation to be kind and compassionate. But you need to

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<v Speaker 1>do that while still setting a high bar for what

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<v Speaker 1>you need and expect from your staff. If the work

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<v Speaker 1>isn't done well, none of you will be around for long.

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<v Speaker 1>So here's how to handle it. First, says Green, the

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<v Speaker 1>kindest thing you can do for your staff members is

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<v Speaker 1>to be really clear with them. Don't put off the conversation,

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<v Speaker 1>don't beat around the bush or sugarcoat what's going on.

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<v Speaker 1>If the person doesn't come away knowing what happened, They're

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<v Speaker 1>likely to keep frustrating or disappointing you, and, as Green notes,

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<v Speaker 1>that can have real consequences for them, such as impacting

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<v Speaker 1>their future raises, promotions, project assignments, reputation, and even tenure

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<v Speaker 1>in the job. You owe them directness and honesty. However,

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<v Speaker 1>says Green, your tone matters a lot. Your tone is

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<v Speaker 1>the difference between someone walking away thinking that the conversation

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<v Speaker 1>was tough, but he's glad you talked, and someone walking

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<v Speaker 1>away thinking he now needs to go cry in the bathroom.

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<v Speaker 1>Think clear, direct words, kind and compassionate tone as you're

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<v Speaker 1>delivering your tough feedback. Take the approach of talking, not scolding.

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<v Speaker 1>The two of you to gather are trying to figure

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<v Speaker 1>out what happened and why so you can avoid it

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<v Speaker 1>in the future. You might think of yourselves as detectives

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<v Speaker 1>trying to piece together clues with conscientious employees notes Green,

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<v Speaker 1>which presumably includes everyone you went to the trouble of hiring.

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<v Speaker 1>What happened and what's going on? Maybe all you need

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<v Speaker 1>to ask and that's enough to get things back on track.

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<v Speaker 1>That said, this can be complicated, particularly if the other

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<v Speaker 1>person gets upset, you need to stay calm and so

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<v Speaker 1>green notes. With particularly tough or tricky conversations, try writing

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<v Speaker 1>out talking points and practicing them beforehand. Planning ahead, she

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<v Speaker 1>notes can help you structure your thoughts and ensure you

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<v Speaker 1>hit key points. While practicing out loud might feel silly,

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<v Speaker 1>it will keep you from stumbling in the moment. You

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<v Speaker 1>could try I using your commute some morning to practice

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<v Speaker 1>your side of the conversation. That is, if you're driving

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<v Speaker 1>by yourself, you probably don't want to do this if

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<v Speaker 1>you're taking a train. By being direct but respectful, you

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<v Speaker 1>increase the chances that your team member figures out a

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<v Speaker 1>solution and avoids the problem from now on. You also

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<v Speaker 1>strengthen your relationship so the two of you can do

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<v Speaker 1>great things together in the future. When good managers see problems,

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<v Speaker 1>they solve them. That's usually the most efficient approach. So

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<v Speaker 1>how do you give tough feedback? You can let me

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<v Speaker 1>know at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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