WEBVTT - “I’M LOOKING FOR MEANING” 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:00.440 Hello. 0:00:02.120 --> 0:00:03.520 Yeah, I can hear you. 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:05.520 Hey, what's up. What's your name? 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:08.520 My name is Dylan Dylan. 0:00:08.960 --> 0:00:10.719 Have we ever talked before? Dylan? 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:13.760 No, we haven't, not at all. 0:00:13.800 --> 0:00:14.800 What's up, man? 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.720 How you doing A few times? Well? 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:18.040 You doing? 0:00:18.120 --> 0:00:21.600 Yeh? I'm looking for meaning, looking for meaning in life. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.799 I kind of want to not find myself waking up 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:31.200 at the end of my life and looking back and 0:00:31.240 --> 0:00:35.080 realizing that I didn't live it along the way. 0:00:35.880 --> 0:00:41.159 I just kind of waited, Yeah, yeah, I would be 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:43.440 happy to talk about that. How old are you? 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:46.320 Thirty five? 0:00:47.640 --> 0:00:50.760 Okay, what do you do? You do you think you've 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:59.120 been well? I guess that would start with, like, as, 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:03.480 what in the first thirty five years of your life 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:08.160 have you been doing or or valuing? 0:01:09.160 --> 0:01:17.480 You know? Yeah, well flash summary of thirty five years deck. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.440 I was raised hyper religious and a pseudo kind of 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:26.160 cult like branch of Christianity. I came to like the 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:33.279 Westboro Baptistricts. Got out of that. Whoa, yeah, you can. 0:01:33.680 --> 0:01:36.440 Keep keep keep keep going. No no, no, top, I'm gonna 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:37.760 sit back and shut up keep going. 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:43.560 So eighteen ran Off joined the army, went to Iraq, 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.960 fell in love with dow in my unit. We were 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:53.680 together during our deployment, talked under the stars in the 0:01:53.720 --> 0:01:57.120 desert and thought that it was going to be forever 0:01:57.240 --> 0:01:59.880 and if we could get through war, then we could 0:02:00.160 --> 0:02:03.840 the rest. And didn't it turn out to be what 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.880 I thought. We were just young, and you know, she 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:11.160 wanted to go in and see what other options life has. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:13.080 And I don't blame her for that, you know, Like 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.360 I said, we were both kids, but I took it 0:02:16.440 --> 0:02:24.040 hard for the first fifteen years after that, and I 0:02:24.200 --> 0:02:28.960 haven't had a relationship since working Can I can? 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:29.880 I can? 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:30.160 I can? 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.440 I stop you for I want to hear the rest 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.680 of your life story, but you say okay. To sum 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.480 it up, Yeah, you met this lady in your unit, 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:39.680 and you guys really fell in love with each other 0:02:39.800 --> 0:02:43.560 and things didn't work out. She tried to pursue other options, 0:02:43.800 --> 0:02:47.720 which I and you guys met when you were eighteen, Right, 0:02:51.040 --> 0:02:55.239 that's what you say? Uh? You kind of alluded to 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:57.720 saying that it hit you pretty hard for the for 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:01.240 fifteen years after that. Tell me more about that. 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:07.519 Yeah, yeah, Well, but basically my entire twenties in the 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.959 last I guess, like nineteen in the twenty and in 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:18.480 my entire twenties. I just was in a deep depression, 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:22.200 you know, working dead end jobs, and I ended up 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:26.800 in factory in the back room for six years, just 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:31.040 kind of going through the motions of getting money to 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:33.560 pay the bills and then going home and watching YouTube. 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:40.720 And I finally woke up when I had a very 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:45.200 close friend to past and I kind of got faced 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.160 with a decision where I was like, well, I could 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:52.520 either kind of give up or I could try, and 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:56.840 so I chose to try. But now I'm there. Now 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.040 that's where I'm at. I met this place where I'm like, 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.760 it's like I'm paralyzed, existential paralyzed, pterialism. 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:05.080 I don't know. 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:12.440 I don't know why I'm not trying, why I'm not 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:13.119 doing this thing. 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:15.040 I want to. 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:20.200 Let me let me, let me ask you to clarify 0:04:20.240 --> 0:04:23.400 something you said. You woke up one day and then 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:25.479 decided you wanted to You said you had a friend 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:27.960 pass away and that was kind of like catalyst for you, 0:04:28.400 --> 0:04:31.480 as you say, trying. How long ago was this. 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:41.039 In July twenty one? Yeah, Well, the only real friends 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.800 person I talked to about everything. We're just friends friends, friends, yeah, 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:52.360 not romantic. Yeah, but it was the surprise that happened fast. 0:04:53.200 --> 0:04:56.280 When you said you were just working back a little bit, 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:59.080 you said that there's this thing with this girl hit 0:04:59.120 --> 0:05:00.840 you hard for fifteen years. When you say you were 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:02.839 in a depression, are you not saying you were in 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:06.160 a depression? I was thinking about that relationship for fifteen years. 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:07.040 Would you were you? 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.920 I think it was it was a mix of things. 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:18.280 I ended up losing my state that I had in 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:27.360 my childhood around that time, and just like I just 0:05:27.400 --> 0:05:28.799 fell into a deep stage depression. 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:29.440 I think it was. 0:05:30.920 --> 0:05:32.760 Caused by a lot of different things, but one big 0:05:32.800 --> 0:05:41.599 thing was definitely Yeah, I felt pretty worthless and not 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:49.760 worthy of people's time. I guess after that relationship so apart, 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.800 I didn't deal with it very healthily for those for 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:53.719 that period of time. 0:05:54.360 --> 0:05:56.679 And you say you lost, you say you lost your faith, 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:58.920 like religious faith. 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:04.000 Right, Yeah. I got exposed to more things in the world, 0:06:04.640 --> 0:06:07.520 you know, when I went overseas and I was in 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:12.840 a part of the downtown bank Dad and we were 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:16.880 rolling through and I saw people shopping and people eating, 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.240 kids playing with a soccer ball in particular, and just 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:22.160 kind of hit me that for the most part, they 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:28.320 were just people there, they weren't the evil Islamic other 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.960 you know, I mean, I don't know, it's well, I mean, I. 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:34.960 Mean, yeah, you said, you said you grew up in 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.480 the Westboro Baptist Church, right. 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:42.000 You know, kind of a branch of uh what'd call 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:48.279 the first Baptist Northern Baptist Church that idolized the west 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:52.600 Bureo Baptistrict's not actually part of the west Boro baptistricts. 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:57.560 But we looked at them guys as like heroes on 0:06:57.640 --> 0:06:58.360 the front line. 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:01.039 But but you you know, yeah, you're going up in 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:03.719 a church that's basically like telling you, like those guys 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:07.160 over there, you know, are are are? You know that 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:08.279 you're they're fucked up. 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.440 Right exactly, that they're evil in some way. And then 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:13.880 they were just people when I. 0:07:13.800 --> 0:07:15.480 Got right right. 0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:18.280 Now? 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:23.640 Yea, you you said in twenty twenty one, you woke 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.200 up and you were like, I'm gonna start trying. What 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:27.280 does that mean? 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:35.200 I guess it. It meant like, I looks for a 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:39.960 better job. I got in at the male clinic insecurity, 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:45.680 and you know, it paid better and had more opportunities 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:52.160 as a career path. I thought that that was trying more. 0:07:52.600 --> 0:08:02.760 I was hoping to maybe try writing. I don't know, 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:04.680 I guess I guess I felt like I put my 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.920 life on pause during the depression and didn't really try 0:08:08.040 --> 0:08:11.400 much of anything beyond just going through a dead end job, 0:08:11.560 --> 0:08:17.040 getting enough to pay for necessities in my rent and 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:18.960 then that was it, you know, not a lot of 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:24.560 social activity and not a lot of anything other than consuming 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:27.680 YouTube content that are going on Wikipedia. 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:33.160 So when you said, when you say that you're you're 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:36.920 like looking for meaning and you don't want to wake 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:38.439 up at the end of your life and feel like 0:08:38.480 --> 0:08:43.520 it was unlived. There's a power, there's a powerful uh 0:08:44.559 --> 0:08:48.760 desires what But so you cut like to audit yourself 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:55.200 and audit your brain? I mean what, like what do 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.080 you value? I mean that's the thing, is like you 0:08:58.120 --> 0:09:02.319 can't really search for meeting you like kind of create 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:06.440 it from within and decided, uh, you know, for yourself. 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:09.040 So what what? 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:09.240 What? 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.080 When you are thinking about these things, have you like 0:09:12.160 --> 0:09:14.640 decided for yourself is meaningful? 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:20.520 Yeah? I guess that's yeah, I mean, I've I mean 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.000 that's literally I guess. The question the existential crisis part 0:09:24.000 --> 0:09:27.080 of it is just like how do you create meaning? 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:33.120 How do I create self? Value or work, you know, 0:09:33.160 --> 0:09:36.240 without like trying to find validation from other people, because 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:40.760 that's been like my stumbling block because I do die 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:43.679 your validation from other people that I don't get it. 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:52.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no no at a certain point, God, 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.640 it's so hard to like fucking mentally get there. But 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:59.280 I'm also having the some epiphanies of like, you truly 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.040 have to build you if you if you if your 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:07.480 car runs on the engine of other people's validation, you you, uh, 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:08.480 you're just fucked. 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:09.360 You know. 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:12.480 You have to kind of build, you have to really 0:10:12.480 --> 0:10:17.480 build like a solid foundation of like deciding that your 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:24.600 fucking life matters and that do your you care about 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:29.520 your having a good life? Uh? But again like I, uh, well, 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:32.920 what makes what would make you have a good life? 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:35.319 Like what do you what do you want? My dog? 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.800 I think connection with some people would be good, But 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:45.040 it feels like this herculean task, you know, because now 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.600 I'm got so much life baggage, you know, how do 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:51.440 I just show up and dump that on somebody's laugh 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:55.640 you know, or expect as an adult? You know, it's 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:57.800 just like you just bring so much more to it. 0:10:57.840 --> 0:10:59.880 When we were on the playground as kid, you had nothing. 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.480 He just walked up and said, I want to be friends. Yeah, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:04.640 and now we're friend cool. 0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:13.360 You know, Oh man, you know, I totally feel where 0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:16.640 you're coming from. Dude, I really do, I really feel 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:21.160 where you're coming from. And uh, I'm I can off. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:27.040 I'm I'm gonna off for a thought to you, Why 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:31.880 do you do you feel like it is so necessary 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:36.480 to let that baggage, uh define you? 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:41.400 Why? 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:46.800 Like? Why? Like why are you holding onto it? Why? 0:11:47.000 --> 0:11:50.400 Like in your brain you're talking about like I I 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:53.040 like even just the way that you've mentally set up 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:57.640 your existence is is by putting your baggage first and 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:00.320 realizing and and just saying like you've like kind of 0:12:00.720 --> 0:12:03.960 mentally decided for yourself that your baggage is a defining 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:06.960 element of who you are and so therefore to make 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:12.480 new connections you have to put it at the at 0:12:12.480 --> 0:12:15.839 the forefront of who you are. And that won't work. 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:20.040 It's hard to I wanted, you know, the whole I 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:23.160 can't release sit here and uh rant about how you 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.480 should you know, just let it go, because I really 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:33.520 know that that's it's not that easy. 0:12:30.160 --> 0:12:32.559 But I think it's kind of very interesting. 0:12:33.360 --> 0:12:35.079 It's a but it's a I just know in my 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:40.480 even though like, uh, I think I've done it in 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:45.600 in like my life and I think it's a makes sense, 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:51.240 but you you just it's a mistake to let it 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.280 define you and put it at the you know, your 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:59.440 mental forefront image of who you are. It's a real mistake, 0:12:59.840 --> 0:13:03.880 and it is it is something that you have control 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:07.400 over because you kind of get to define your own 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:13.040 perspective of who you are. And so you're you're a 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:15.040 control of whether or not you want to let yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:13:15.080 --> 0:13:16.120 you got to change the story. 0:13:18.120 --> 0:13:20.560 Well that's so I am to answer some of the 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:22.160 questions in the chat. I do go to the VIA 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:25.080 center and see it therapist, a real counselor too. 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:27.480 Oh oh sorry, do me a favorite? Do me a favorite? 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.720 Can you not? Can you not look at the chat? 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:30.199 Oh? 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:33.720 Sure, sure, sorry what we're saying. 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:40.920 So I was just gonna say that changing the story 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:43.520 I tell myself. I guess I had seen my baggage 0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:46.800 of something that I thought I had to sit you know, 0:13:46.920 --> 0:13:50.400 but you think like could literally just set it down 0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:54.720 and move forward without it, you know, just like say 0:13:54.960 --> 0:13:57.600 scrap it the first thirty five and let's just go 0:13:57.720 --> 0:13:59.880 from here. No, I don't know. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.880 I don't I don't know if that's what I'm few. 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:06.920 I don't know if that's I mean, maybe I'm really no. Uh, 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:11.840 I'm again. I'm not like I'm not advising on anything. 0:14:11.880 --> 0:14:14.520 I'm just kind of thinking about these things alongside you. 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:19.760 I think there's something to be said, there's something to 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:23.440 be said about like you don't have to Huh. You 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:26.560 thought you had to fix it first before it's an 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.680 interesting idea. I have to fix this baggage. I have 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:33.120 need to fix these things about myself before I'm able 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:40.040 to have connections with people. Yeah, I've been in my 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:44.640 personal life and I've really been thinking a lot about Uh, 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:51.040 this idea that you can kind of accept the I 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.320 used to be afraid of, like accepting certain things about 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.600 myself because then it meant I wouldn't work on them, right, 0:14:57.640 --> 0:15:00.240 Like that's the fallacy. It's like, what's like like like 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.360 like if I accept that I don't like the way 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.400 if I accept that I don't like the way I 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:11.800 live my life, or I accept it for what it is, 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:15.040 I'll stop working on it, and then I'll just continue 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:16.520 to sink more in a misery. That's kind of the 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.880 fallacy I was working off of, and I've kind of 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.840 begin to understand it more as I get older, which 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:26.560 is like no acceptance is like I ecept is that 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:30.160 you can accept things about yourself that you don't like 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:36.400 and still work to fix them. It's just that you 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.960 you don't have to like fucking hate yourself in order 0:15:40.000 --> 0:15:43.320 to fix yourself. I don't think do you know that 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:43.960 makes sense? 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.640 It does make sense, but yeah, I do believe, like 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:51.160 I thought the same thing that like, if I accept 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:56.560 the shit parts, then I'm not going to fix them 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:58.600 or I'm not going to improve on them. Then if 0:15:58.640 --> 0:16:04.640 I accept them, I'll just let it go, right, So 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:07.000 I believe I think I believe that same thing. But 0:16:07.600 --> 0:16:13.040 that's yeah, I guess that is a fallacy. 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:20.600 So give it. It's really hard, it is, Yes, it is, 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:22.280 it is. It's really. 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:29.680 I mean, I've written a few short things about that 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:31.560 feeling looking in the mirror. 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:42.480 Yeah, hm hmm, yeah, I don't. Uh, it's a whole 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.120 it's a whole thing. I think this is the plot 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.640 of the movie Surfs Up. Have you ever seen that movie? 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:49.760 I'll have not. 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:51.520 Now I can't say it, but. 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:54.520 I think there's some messages in there about hating yourself 0:16:54.560 --> 0:16:56.560 and trying to overcome that. 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.240 I have to check it out. I've seen surf Ninjas. 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:04.840 What is that? What is that movie? 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:12.359 It's uh shipes movie about these three brothers that it 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:15.280 turns out they are ninjas. 0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:17.280 I want you, I just can we? 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:17.840 Can we? 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:21.760 I just for your own I don't know? Can we? 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:29.000 I want to think of something for you to do. 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:32.520 Is there do you want to do any like? Like 0:17:32.680 --> 0:17:35.720 you want you You're just looking for meaning like I 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.199 I think you're like you're due for like a Walter 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:44.159 Midty fucking adventure. You're done that that. 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:47.399 I I'm not sure who Walter Mitty is, but the 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.560 idea of an adventure that hits home. I've been looking 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:54.600 into Ernest Hemingway recently as a right just dove. 0:17:54.720 --> 0:17:56.119 Do you do you have kids? 0:17:57.920 --> 0:17:58.520 No? 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.359 Give well, wife or a girlfriend or anything? 0:18:03.240 --> 0:18:03.320 No? 0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:05.480 My only of real Yeah. 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:06.800 Would you have any responsibility? 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:08.000 Oh? 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:10.440 You have a cat? You can get a cat? Go 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:12.359 go go? Did go do? When's the last time you 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:13.520 left the country. 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:16.120 H Iraq? 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:19.520 Back when you were eighteen ago? 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:21.560 Yeah? A long time ago. 0:18:21.760 --> 0:18:24.240 Do you have any savings? 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:26.400 I have a little bit? 0:18:26.520 --> 0:18:29.360 Yeah, you could you should do something. I know. It's 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:32.960 not like, yeah, I gotta solve your problems by traveling, 0:18:33.000 --> 0:18:38.720 but like if you're if you're looking to like be like, oh, 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:40.240 I want to make something out of my life. I 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:42.200 mean you should go do something on a weird adventure, 0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:44.280 go to is there anywhere that you've ever thought of? 0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:48.119 So I like the whimsical ideas of doing random things 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:52.159 that so like. I bought Babbel a year and a 0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:54.040 half ago because I was like, I'll learn a second language. 0:18:54.080 --> 0:18:55.639 I tried to learn Spanish because it would be so 0:18:55.760 --> 0:18:58.320 useful to know Spanish for so many reasons, but it 0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:01.240 was like eating my vegetables. So I didn't get into it, 0:19:01.359 --> 0:19:04.720 didn't do it. Just recently I found out that the 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:08.560 creator of my favorite show, Pushing Daisies, his favorite movie 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:11.400 and inspiration was Amaali. It's a French movie from two 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:15.640 thousand and one about a gal. It's really great, recommend 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:21.280 it to anybody. Amazingly shot, very visual. But I was like, hey, 0:19:21.320 --> 0:19:23.359 wouldn't be funny to buy it watch it in French 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.000 without subtitles. I don't know French, but I did that 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:28.520 and it was great. It's awesome. It's cool to watch 0:19:28.560 --> 0:19:30.720 a movie in a different language without subtitles, because then 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:32.320 you don't pay attention to the words and you get 0:19:32.320 --> 0:19:35.960 to see everything else about it. But I was said 0:19:36.840 --> 0:19:42.960 Ernest Hemingway loved France. Wouldn't it be cool to buy 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.680 a ticket, fly to France, have dinner, after dinner, get 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:47.680 on the plane, fly back. 0:19:48.480 --> 0:19:51.240 Why do you hold on? Why would? Why the fuck would? 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.399 Why the fuck would you do that? Why do you 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:56.880 just go to France? Why do you have to make 0:19:56.880 --> 0:19:59.480 it a crazy Why don't I just go for a bit, 0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:02.520 just go so for a spend a little bit more 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:05.720 than a I'll just go and go on a little adventure. 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:08.200 Man, Yeah, I could. 0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:08.720 I don't know. 0:20:08.800 --> 0:20:10.959 I guess that's the whimsical part about it. It's just like, 0:20:11.320 --> 0:20:13.960 how ridiculous would that be to spend all that money 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:16.560 to go have dinner and come right back? You know, 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:17.480 I don't know that. 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:20.360 I'm very I'm very nervous about that being the way 0:20:20.400 --> 0:20:23.359 that your brain works. What's your name? Your tsunam again? 0:20:23.400 --> 0:20:25.119 Man, Dylan? 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:29.080 Dylan? Why don't you go instead of making it a cartoon, 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:33.320 why don't you actually just go to France and do 0:20:33.520 --> 0:20:37.040 things and try to meet people and like put yourself 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:38.480 out there a little bit. If you why didn't you 0:20:38.560 --> 0:20:38.880 do that? 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.239 I think it's, you know, I think it's fear of 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:50.439 trying to do that and then getting rejected. 0:20:50.840 --> 0:20:55.600 You know, here's bejecting, Dylan Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. 0:20:55.600 --> 0:21:00.680 You want to know something crazy want I'm gonna tell you. 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:02.439 So I'm gonna tell you something crazy. I believe this 0:21:03.480 --> 0:21:05.320 sort of. I believe it in the moment that I'm 0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:08.920 saying it to you because I'm I'm I'm just hyped 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:10.800 up talking to you, and I'm getting a hype. I 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.080 feel hype. I feel hyped up right now. So I 0:21:13.119 --> 0:21:18.760 believe this in this very moment that I'm saying it. Okay, Dylan, 0:21:19.520 --> 0:21:27.119 the second you tried, you were successful if you So 0:21:27.960 --> 0:21:32.560 that's the thing is if you if you go to 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:37.399 France and you're there and you're look at you're standing 0:21:37.480 --> 0:21:39.600 and you're eating You're sorry, you're at dinner and you're 0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:42.000 eating a snail, or like you're walking around town and 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.960 you're looking to people, You're gonna feel so great that 0:21:46.200 --> 0:21:49.520 you tried. Because that's part of the is like if 0:21:49.520 --> 0:21:53.640 you you're you're sitting here and you're going like, Oh, 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:55.080 I'm trying to get more meaning out of my life. 0:21:55.119 --> 0:21:57.200 I'm trying to feel like I made something out of myself. 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:00.920 And when you just sit in your house and you 0:22:00.960 --> 0:22:05.639 fester with that, you're failing. Is because you're sitting and 0:22:05.680 --> 0:22:11.160 you're festering. But the fact that you traveled and you 0:22:11.280 --> 0:22:18.960 like you tried, you made some effort against this thing 0:22:19.000 --> 0:22:22.520 that you're festering with, that's gonna make you feel really good. 0:22:23.240 --> 0:22:28.440 Not whether or not your try was quote unquote successful 0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:32.760 in whatever you want your crazy definition of success to be, 0:22:33.640 --> 0:22:35.879 but just the fact that you tried, You put yourself 0:22:35.920 --> 0:22:38.840 out there, you did something outside of your normal routine. 0:22:39.440 --> 0:22:41.320 You tried to talk to someone maybe you wanted to 0:22:41.320 --> 0:22:43.200 talk to. You tried to go somewhere maybe you wanted 0:22:43.240 --> 0:22:47.320 to go to. You try. Not so much that any 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:49.840 of these efforts were successful, but that they were efforts 0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:51.320 ever at all in the first place. 0:22:53.800 --> 0:22:57.520 Well, yeah, that feels really I mean I'm really hyped 0:22:57.560 --> 0:23:01.880 dooc and get right now too, but that feels really true. Well, 0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:04.679 it resonates with me what you're saying, like the trying, 0:23:04.840 --> 0:23:07.800 because my fear is the looking back at having not 0:23:07.920 --> 0:23:09.120 tried anything right. 0:23:09.640 --> 0:23:11.639 Right, So that so there, So all you gotta do 0:23:11.720 --> 0:23:14.359 is fucking try something. Man, it might not work. You 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:18.199 might get to you might get to Paris and be 0:23:18.240 --> 0:23:23.160 looking at the Eiffel Tower and go. You know, it's 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:26.760 kind of it's actually kind of lame, small and life 0:23:26.800 --> 0:23:30.320 is meaningless. But unless you but at least you you 0:23:30.359 --> 0:23:33.840 push yourself far enough to figure out that that wasn't 0:23:33.840 --> 0:23:39.280 the answer, you know, that'll feel good you exactly. So, 0:23:39.480 --> 0:23:42.760 I just I can't. I you know, I hope, I hope. 0:23:42.800 --> 0:23:44.760 I hope that this got through to you in some 0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:49.800 meaningful way. Thanks for sharing all the stuff with me, Dylan. 0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:53.199 I really hope that you find so you find some 0:23:53.320 --> 0:23:55.200 kind of meaning in your in your life. 0:23:57.680 --> 0:24:00.919 It's really cool. I'll pop in the chat after my 0:24:01.080 --> 0:24:02.960 trip when I make it happen. 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:06.520 Dude, please please please do please, dear God, please dear God. 0:24:06.560 --> 0:24:10.520 If you, if you're if you do do this, which 0:24:10.520 --> 0:24:14.320 I hope you do, give me some kind of follow up, 0:24:14.359 --> 0:24:16.879 and whether it's in the chat or in one of 0:24:16.920 --> 0:24:19.479 my in one, in an email episode or something like that, 0:24:19.520 --> 0:24:23.280 I'd love to hear that you don't know when. Oh well, 0:24:23.359 --> 0:24:28.320 let me you h we don't know when? When is there. 0:24:29.040 --> 0:24:29.960 What are you waiting for? 0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:35.800 Well, I guess i'd have to just you know, make 0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:38.679 the plan and set it up and do the travel. 0:24:39.480 --> 0:24:41.720 Okay, what do you have to take time off work? 0:24:43.440 --> 0:24:45.520 Yeah? I take some time off the work, you know. 0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:48.680 All right? Do you have any oh you run a 0:24:49.119 --> 0:24:50.880 Do you have any pt O left this year? 0:24:52.240 --> 0:24:53.480 Yeah? I do? Yeah? 0:24:53.600 --> 0:24:56.199 All right, fucking do that ship, dude, God damn, do 0:24:56.240 --> 0:24:57.640 it and then let me know how I went. 0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.760 All Right, I'm going to I'm gonna go to Paris. 0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:05.200 I don't know for how long. A couple of days. 0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:06.320 I won't just have dinner. 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.320 Cool. Yeah, that was terrible. 0:25:12.000 --> 0:25:15.119 I don't know why I think that it wouldn't be. 0:25:15.560 --> 0:25:16.600 It'd be if I. 0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:19.520 Mean, if your goal is, if your goal is for 0:25:19.560 --> 0:25:21.760 it to be funny. Yes, it was funny, but I 0:25:21.800 --> 0:25:23.880 don't think this is what you want to do. Yeah, 0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:26.200 go and walk around and just look at just go 0:25:26.240 --> 0:25:29.000 and just just go and stand there and see if 0:25:29.040 --> 0:25:31.000 it feels fucking any difference at all. 0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:32.920 Yeah. 0:25:33.600 --> 0:25:37.159 I don't know why I think the idea of telling somebody, oh, 0:25:37.200 --> 0:25:39.800 I had dinner in France yesterday and just be like what. 0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:41.800 You know what? 0:25:41.920 --> 0:25:42.280 You know what? 0:25:42.640 --> 0:25:44.160 You know what maybe you know what you know what 0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:47.160 you know what? Maybe that really is all you need. 0:25:47.640 --> 0:25:50.600 Maybe you do. Maybe I actually take back everything. I 0:25:50.640 --> 0:25:54.600 actually take everything I said about your going there to 0:25:54.600 --> 0:25:56.280 eat lunch and coming and METI to the back idea. 0:25:56.320 --> 0:25:58.639 I take it back. I actually don't think it's a 0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:01.800 stupid idea. I actually think if you did that it 0:26:01.800 --> 0:26:06.680 would accomplish the same as if you went for four days. 0:26:06.720 --> 0:26:08.880 It's just again, it's just comes back to the fact 0:26:09.359 --> 0:26:15.000 that you took some form of action to try and 0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:17.040 deal with this. So maybe maybe you do do that. 0:26:17.080 --> 0:26:19.760 I don't know. I I take back what I said. Well, 0:26:19.800 --> 0:26:23.240 whatever you do, let me let me send therapy Gecko 0:26:24.080 --> 0:26:27.800 mail at gmail dot com. Send me an email. Uh 0:26:28.240 --> 0:26:29.920 if you if you have an update on this, I'm 0:26:30.000 --> 0:26:32.119 very curious about it. Uh, Dylan, is there anything else 0:26:32.119 --> 0:26:33.280 you want to say to the people of the computer 0:26:33.359 --> 0:26:33.760 before we go? 0:26:36.560 --> 0:26:39.480 Not at all. Just keep trying and and you know, 0:26:39.560 --> 0:26:42.200 tell yourself a better story in your head. 0:26:42.280 --> 0:26:43.920 I like that. I like that. I like I'm gonna 0:26:44.280 --> 0:26:46.159 try to I'm gonna try to take some of the 0:26:46.280 --> 0:26:48.639 fucking advice that I talk about on this plane. This 0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:51.960 is why I I'm sorry to end this on the rap. 0:26:52.000 --> 0:26:54.639 But I tell everything I say to callers on this 0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:57.840 podcast is just me trying to convince myself of things. 0:26:58.280 --> 0:27:01.159 So you know that thanks for that man, you have 0:27:01.160 --> 0:27:02.000 a going Dylan. 0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:04.160 You two get thank you. 0:27:07.359 --> 0:27:10.240 It is funny the idea of him going, and I 0:27:10.359 --> 0:27:11.760 had to look back. I had to be like, well, 0:27:11.960 --> 0:27:15.439 why do I think that's a stupid idea? I still do. 0:27:15.680 --> 0:27:17.600 I still kind of do think it's a stupid idea. 0:27:18.200 --> 0:27:22.320 But again, the core is that he tried, he went 0:27:22.359 --> 0:27:25.359 and did something maybe that could make him Just the 0:27:25.480 --> 0:27:30.679 core I think the idea behind obviously you know, we 0:27:30.720 --> 0:27:33.200 all know that, like and I've had this same conversation 0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:35.960 with people on this podcast with obviously, like a travel 0:27:36.400 --> 0:27:40.280 and going to new places isn't in and of itself, 0:27:40.520 --> 0:27:43.840 is not going to like change make you happy, Like 0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:48.160 I mean, I well, okay, in this case scenario, it's 0:27:48.240 --> 0:27:52.560 just like if he hadn't done it forever and he 0:27:54.680 --> 0:27:58.520 tried something he was uncomfortable with in an effort to 0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:00.560 find more meaning to his life. I think this was 0:28:00.600 --> 0:28:03.960 actually something to that that could be kind of powerful 0:28:04.680 --> 0:28:07.920 about that, And you could achieve that by literally going 0:28:07.960 --> 0:28:09.639 to France for dinner and then coming right home. But 0:28:09.680 --> 0:28:13.520 it is a waste of money. Why would you do that? Hello? 0:28:13.880 --> 0:28:14.399 Can you hear me? 0:28:14.440 --> 0:28:14.720 Okay? 0:28:15.520 --> 0:28:16.600 Yeah, Hi? What's your name? 0:28:17.000 --> 0:28:17.320 Mercy? 0:28:18.400 --> 0:28:19.520 Marcie? What's up? Marci? 0:28:19.600 --> 0:28:19.760 What? 0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:20.320 Uh? 0:28:20.520 --> 0:28:20.680 How? 0:28:20.760 --> 0:28:24.719 What? What brings you to want to talk on the 0:28:24.720 --> 0:28:26.359 Therapy iCal podcast today? 0:28:27.640 --> 0:28:29.639 Well, I've actually wanted to talk to you for a 0:28:29.680 --> 0:28:38.960 long time. Cool, a little nervous, but otherwise I'm good. Sorry, 0:28:38.960 --> 0:28:40.640 I was just feeding my cat's got a little out 0:28:40.640 --> 0:28:41.600 of breath because I'm fair. 0:28:41.680 --> 0:28:43.800 No, no, no worries, no worries. 0:28:45.640 --> 0:28:48.760 I actually wanted to talk a little bit about, uh, 0:28:49.480 --> 0:28:53.760 like something positive that's going on in my tumultuous world. 0:28:54.600 --> 0:28:56.000 Cool. Yeah, let me hear it. 0:28:56.360 --> 0:29:01.240 Yeah. So, going through a few, you know, pretty big 0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:07.960 hardships between my husband and I, but he and I 0:29:08.000 --> 0:29:12.760 are like stronger than we've ever been. Ohay, yeah, and 0:29:12.800 --> 0:29:15.880 it feels really great. It was one of those like 0:29:16.600 --> 0:29:19.920 I'm high in the shower thoughts that kind of piqued 0:29:19.920 --> 0:29:22.360 my interest yesterday because we were just we've just been 0:29:22.400 --> 0:29:28.280 going through it and with our families and just catastrophes 0:29:28.360 --> 0:29:31.280 you know, here and there, and we live in Florida, 0:29:31.360 --> 0:29:34.200 so we also deal with you know, so. 0:29:34.400 --> 0:29:36.200 Yeah, did you guys get hit Did you guys get 0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:38.520 hit by by Hurricane big Boy? 0:29:40.360 --> 0:29:44.680 No, thankfully, we've actually made it been really really lucky 0:29:44.720 --> 0:29:49.280 the last couple of years. Our area is kind of 0:29:49.320 --> 0:29:52.320 isolated and off to the side, like we live. I 0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.480 don't want to say exactly where, but we live very 0:29:54.480 --> 0:30:02.440 close to Jacksonville, and we just somehow have totally been 0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:05.440 missed by at least two of the hurricanes. And then 0:30:05.840 --> 0:30:08.960 we got like you know, extreme outer bands and a 0:30:09.000 --> 0:30:12.520 lot of like flooding and stuff where we live. But 0:30:12.600 --> 0:30:15.280 other than that, we got really really lucky. It was 0:30:15.520 --> 0:30:16.440 all of them this year. 0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:20.040 How long have you and your husband been together. 0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:26.640 We just celebrated our fifth anniversary in September five. 0:30:28.200 --> 0:30:28.480 Five. 0:30:28.640 --> 0:30:32.200 Yep, that's cool. That's cool. And so you said, you 0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:35.640 said you have been through it tumultuous times, but you're 0:30:35.720 --> 0:30:36.960 stronger than ever. 0:30:38.080 --> 0:30:42.360 Stronger than ever. Like even even when we fight, which 0:30:42.480 --> 0:30:48.480 is very rare, we always come out like learning something 0:30:48.520 --> 0:30:52.040 new about one another, as if we Sometimes I feel 0:30:52.080 --> 0:30:53.880 like we're just meeting each other for the first time 0:30:53.960 --> 0:30:56.360 over and over and over again, and it feels really 0:30:56.360 --> 0:30:59.960 cool because you know, he and I were a pretty homebody. 0:31:00.440 --> 0:31:02.280 You know, we don't do a whole lot, We don't 0:31:02.320 --> 0:31:04.440 have a whole lot of friends outside of our jobs 0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:09.400 because we were kind of we work a lot, and 0:31:10.080 --> 0:31:12.600 we're kind of isolated. We live away from his family, 0:31:12.600 --> 0:31:17.200 which sucks. So on on all sides, we're just going 0:31:17.240 --> 0:31:19.920 through it. But like everything else between him and I 0:31:20.080 --> 0:31:22.760 is just like we just feel like we can take 0:31:22.800 --> 0:31:25.680 on the whole world together and fuck everybody else. 0:31:27.040 --> 0:31:30.800 Uh that's that's uh, that's so beautiful. That's that is 0:31:33.360 --> 0:31:39.880 that's like an incredibly uh valuable one could say rare 0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:45.600 one could say a rare valuable thing to have in 0:31:45.640 --> 0:31:48.520 your life. Uh. 0:31:48.640 --> 0:31:52.960 Yeah, particularly how you know, before we met, in like 0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:59.360 our past relationships, they were pretty bad. And you know, 0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:02.160 when you're we're kind of both kind of empathed, so 0:32:03.000 --> 0:32:05.720 we end up taking a lot on from other people. 0:32:06.160 --> 0:32:08.400 And so in those relationships, we had a lot of 0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:11.960 people that were like taking from us and never giving 0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:15.120 in return. But we're just those type of people who 0:32:15.160 --> 0:32:17.239 are just like, Okay, well if we keep giving, you know, 0:32:17.480 --> 0:32:19.120 maybe the person will give back. 0:32:19.600 --> 0:32:22.040 Can you ask, can how old you guys are? I'm 0:32:22.040 --> 0:32:25.640 just curious where you're at in your life journey? 0:32:25.760 --> 0:32:34.040 So I am thirty three cool and he is thirty 0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:35.640 seven cool. 0:32:36.880 --> 0:32:42.520 That's cool. I'm I'm about to turn twenty seven, and 0:32:42.600 --> 0:32:44.360 I keep I don't know why, I'm always thinking. I'm 0:32:44.360 --> 0:32:48.280 always thinking about what my life is going to be 0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:51.800 like in like ten years, and I'm kind of obsessed 0:32:51.800 --> 0:32:53.480 with I'm kind of obsessed with the idea that, like 0:32:53.520 --> 0:32:57.400 I could my life could be like really awesome when 0:32:57.440 --> 0:33:00.680 I'm like thirty seven, like very different, weird. It's cool 0:33:00.720 --> 0:33:03.720 to just imagine like different. They can think about how 0:33:03.800 --> 0:33:06.960 radically different your life was ten years ago and you're like, 0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:10.120 oh shit, my lift you radically different ten years from now. 0:33:11.280 --> 0:33:16.880 I think about it. What is you said you wanted 0:33:16.880 --> 0:33:22.680 to specifically talk about something positive? What was the specific 0:33:22.760 --> 0:33:24.560 positive thing you wanted to you wanted to share? 0:33:27.680 --> 0:33:31.640 Well, I guess that really was the positive thing. It's 0:33:31.680 --> 0:33:34.600 just because we have so many negative things going on, 0:33:35.200 --> 0:33:38.000 it just feels like at least my at least my 0:33:38.120 --> 0:33:42.280 relationship is you know, on a forward path and feels 0:33:42.360 --> 0:33:46.560 like it's it feels like it's genuine, you know, I never, 0:33:47.040 --> 0:33:51.960 I very rarely feel unseen by him and being that 0:33:52.840 --> 0:33:54.840 And I'm going to go with this A tiny tangent. 0:33:55.200 --> 0:34:01.440 He and I both have late diagnosed ADHD, like pretty 0:34:01.760 --> 0:34:04.960 pretty severe for him, and I have like a my 0:34:05.120 --> 0:34:07.440 attention desk that is definitely. 0:34:06.960 --> 0:34:08.520 Like the issue for me. 0:34:10.000 --> 0:34:13.720 But we're both really strong speakers, like him especially he's 0:34:13.840 --> 0:34:20.520 very articulate and he's also bilingual. He's from d R 0:34:21.360 --> 0:34:27.600 and so he's very intelligent person and he's gotten himself 0:34:28.400 --> 0:34:31.680 into conversations with people and made it so that he 0:34:31.719 --> 0:34:35.000 could like enlighten someone. He's very spiritual in that way. 0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:36.600 We're both Buddhists. 0:34:36.640 --> 0:34:36.920 Cool. 0:34:38.360 --> 0:34:40.040 Yeah, so yeah, so. 0:34:40.520 --> 0:34:44.200 It's uh, where'd you had you guys be. 0:34:48.239 --> 0:34:48.600 Tender? 0:34:48.640 --> 0:34:51.400 Actually that's cool. 0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:54.439 Yeah, that's cool. I like that. I would have thought 0:34:54.480 --> 0:34:57.680 there's because there's like, what's the Christian mingle of Buddhism. 0:34:58.280 --> 0:35:00.440 I was thinking maybe it could be something like that, 0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:05.000 it's tender? Do you guys? I have I have a 0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:07.279 few questions. I have a few questions for you, just 0:35:07.320 --> 0:35:10.880 because I'm curious, because you sound like you've found a 0:35:10.960 --> 0:35:14.960 thing that's very special and good. So I have questions 0:35:15.000 --> 0:35:17.080 about it. Where did you do you? Guys? Feel like 0:35:18.800 --> 0:35:21.520 a lot of your because you from the way you 0:35:21.560 --> 0:35:23.759 talk about him, it sounds like you're both very like 0:35:24.239 --> 0:35:28.600 spiritually aligned and like worldview. It sounds like you have 0:35:28.640 --> 0:35:32.600 a lot of like aligned values, is yes, And so 0:35:32.760 --> 0:35:36.360 I'm curious when you two first met, do you feel 0:35:36.360 --> 0:35:41.600 like you came into the relationship both independently possessing those 0:35:41.719 --> 0:35:44.040 values on which you're aligned, or do you feel like 0:35:44.640 --> 0:35:49.800 the the alignment developed over the course of of the relationship. 0:35:51.440 --> 0:35:57.839 So both yes and yes. So the way we met 0:35:58.640 --> 0:36:01.560 regardless of Tender. So we started on the app. Of course, 0:36:01.640 --> 0:36:03.840 you know, talked on the app for a few days 0:36:04.120 --> 0:36:06.719 and it was just, you know, just surface level shit 0:36:06.920 --> 0:36:09.239 like I like Star Wars, you like Star Wars, blah 0:36:09.280 --> 0:36:13.400 blah blah, that kind of bullshit. And then by the 0:36:13.680 --> 0:36:16.040 towards the end of the week, he asked if he 0:36:16.080 --> 0:36:20.120 could call me. And if you know anything about tender, 0:36:20.160 --> 0:36:23.759 that's pretty rare that anyone actually wants to call you. 0:36:23.920 --> 0:36:26.239 It's a it's a it's a good idea because it's 0:36:26.360 --> 0:36:30.279 you can really get gauged so much more about a 0:36:30.280 --> 0:36:31.920 person by talking to them on the phone than you 0:36:31.920 --> 0:36:33.240 can't over the right. 0:36:33.080 --> 0:36:37.000 Next accurate number one number one, making sure they're a 0:36:37.040 --> 0:36:41.839 real person, right and then and then hopefully end up 0:36:41.880 --> 0:36:46.520 not being a serial killer or whatever. But so I 0:36:46.560 --> 0:36:49.040 was like, sure, you know, I get off at five, 0:36:49.360 --> 0:36:50.360 call me at five thirty. 0:36:50.440 --> 0:36:50.920 I should be. 0:36:50.840 --> 0:36:55.120 Getting home around then, and I have twenty nine twenty 0:36:55.280 --> 0:36:58.200 or nine fifty nine whatever on the dot. He was 0:36:58.239 --> 0:37:01.160 calling me, and I was just like trying to get 0:37:01.200 --> 0:37:04.080 into my uh, into my room with all my ship 0:37:04.120 --> 0:37:07.320 in my hands. So I was like, oh, prompt, boy, 0:37:08.719 --> 0:37:13.960 and then we proceeded to have a conversation for seven 0:37:14.000 --> 0:37:20.320 and a half hours. Yeah, we just talked the whole 0:37:20.360 --> 0:37:23.279 time and talked about our lives, talked about our you know, 0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:27.560 things that we liked and things that they disliked. At 0:37:27.600 --> 0:37:32.120 the time, I was very involved with politics. I was 0:37:32.400 --> 0:37:37.400 a sitting chair for the Libertarian Party of Semuel County 0:37:38.080 --> 0:37:41.480 and I was very involved with stuff like that. And 0:37:41.560 --> 0:37:46.560 I was working for real estate company and basically running 0:37:46.600 --> 0:37:50.200 the office on my own and he, unfortunately at the time, 0:37:50.320 --> 0:37:56.960 was in between in between jobs. But but he was 0:37:57.000 --> 0:38:02.200 like on the way to getting a job and we 0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:07.000 just clicked like overnight, and I felt like I knew 0:38:07.080 --> 0:38:11.520 him better than I knew like the last boyfriend I 0:38:11.600 --> 0:38:12.919 had before and. 0:38:12.840 --> 0:38:17.480 Within so I'm really, really, really really uh, that's a 0:38:17.520 --> 0:38:23.320 fascinating fascinating story. I'm really curious about your take on something. 0:38:23.560 --> 0:38:26.000 This is something I really think about a lot in 0:38:27.360 --> 0:38:32.279 you know, my personal life. You know, when I've been 0:38:32.520 --> 0:38:37.760 like dating, and I was actually talking a lot about 0:38:37.760 --> 0:38:40.919 my friends a lot about this with my friend last night. 0:38:42.719 --> 0:38:44.320 You know, do you do you think two people? 0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:45.000 Uh? 0:38:45.760 --> 0:38:49.600 In my head, there's and it doesn't actually one or 0:38:49.640 --> 0:38:52.799 the other, but there's kind of like two schools of 0:38:53.040 --> 0:38:57.080 thought you could say, with relationships, where it's like you 0:38:57.160 --> 0:39:02.360 either kind of pick some one, you catch a wave 0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:06.279 of some kind like your two people meet, they decide 0:39:06.760 --> 0:39:09.719 to make it work, and then kind of gradually over 0:39:10.080 --> 0:39:15.000 time they develop their relationship with each other and they 0:39:15.160 --> 0:39:18.080 their love for each other kind of becomes deeper, versus 0:39:18.920 --> 0:39:22.000 kind of the other school of thought, which is like 0:39:23.200 --> 0:39:28.240 you get lucky or you search really really really hard 0:39:28.280 --> 0:39:34.120 and really really really intentionally until you find that person 0:39:34.440 --> 0:39:39.399 with whom you just kind of immediately feel like you 0:39:39.480 --> 0:39:43.080 click and like you, as you just said, know them 0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:46.600 almost pretty soon, pretty immediately, you feel like you know 0:39:46.719 --> 0:39:50.960 them almost as well as you know somebody that you 0:39:51.000 --> 0:39:54.440 did the whole other dance with for many years, you know, 0:39:55.840 --> 0:39:57.880 And I think it seems like it's kind of on 0:39:59.840 --> 0:40:03.520 the The answer lies somewhere between those two schools of thought. 0:40:03.880 --> 0:40:06.680 But I'm curious about your perspective because the way that 0:40:06.800 --> 0:40:09.080 it sounds like things worked out for you and this 0:40:09.200 --> 0:40:11.600 guy is that you felt it so immediately that you 0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:17.239 had this this seven hour connection with each other. 0:40:18.320 --> 0:40:23.640 Yeah, I wish I knew the actual answer, but I 0:40:23.680 --> 0:40:27.480 definitely think it does. It's somewhere in between. You know, 0:40:27.920 --> 0:40:30.759 it's luck definitely, because I mean, like I said, I 0:40:30.760 --> 0:40:33.040 met him on Tinder, so I'm basically just you know, 0:40:33.200 --> 0:40:38.960 rolling the dice there totally. But you know, I also 0:40:39.200 --> 0:40:44.200 believe that, you know, I'm not like totally four soulmates, 0:40:44.200 --> 0:40:47.160 but I also kind of am and and he is 0:40:47.200 --> 0:40:49.360 just one of those people that I feel like, you know, 0:40:49.400 --> 0:40:50.319 if I hadn't. 0:40:50.080 --> 0:40:51.479 Passed life, he was there. 0:40:51.960 --> 0:40:55.200 You know, I felt like he was in my life, 0:40:55.280 --> 0:40:57.239 my whole life. Like we were just kind of talking 0:40:57.320 --> 0:40:59.960 about that last night, where we both kind of feel like, 0:41:00.080 --> 0:41:02.480 you know, if we had met a long time ago, 0:41:02.960 --> 0:41:06.600 like in our you know, high school years, that we 0:41:06.680 --> 0:41:09.319 would have been like obsessed with one another back then. 0:41:10.800 --> 0:41:13.719 I was like, yeah, probably wouldn't have been fun for 0:41:13.760 --> 0:41:16.000 our friends because we would have never had friends. 0:41:16.000 --> 0:41:20.480 Interesting. Interesting. Well, so that's so interesting too because you 0:41:20.520 --> 0:41:22.080 say that you two would have been obsessed with each 0:41:22.080 --> 0:41:25.839 other in high school? Do you think that? I mean, 0:41:26.000 --> 0:41:28.640 and you're both in your thirties and there's a lot 0:41:28.640 --> 0:41:36.160 of change that happens between eighteen to thirty. And because 0:41:36.520 --> 0:41:39.080 there's another like kind of also like in when I'm 0:41:39.120 --> 0:41:42.799 like thinking about the schools of thought of how two 0:41:42.920 --> 0:41:45.680 people come to form a strong relationship, is like, do 0:41:45.680 --> 0:41:47.880 you ever feel like two people? Maybe if two people, 0:41:48.680 --> 0:41:51.760 you kind of have to become not a different person, 0:41:51.840 --> 0:41:56.200 but maybe like like a better version of yourself in 0:41:56.320 --> 0:41:59.279 order to truly be there and the way that you 0:41:59.400 --> 0:42:02.479 need to be there for the person that you're with. 0:42:02.880 --> 0:42:04.440 And it takes a long time to kind of to 0:42:05.120 --> 0:42:06.920 I guess become that version of yourself. 0:42:09.239 --> 0:42:10.200 Uh. 0:42:10.440 --> 0:42:14.920 Yeah, So I think it's important that those two people 0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:19.200 have you know, like common interests for sure, common values. 0:42:19.360 --> 0:42:23.400 I mean, I mean the biggest one for us is, 0:42:23.440 --> 0:42:25.880 you know, we we grew up you know, metal heads. 0:42:26.040 --> 0:42:28.880 You know, I grew up in Las Vegas and he 0:42:29.000 --> 0:42:32.040 grew up in d r and then in Orlando when 0:42:32.040 --> 0:42:36.319 he came to the States, and we both were like 0:42:36.920 --> 0:42:41.319 goths and you know, stupid, but also we had fun. 0:42:42.160 --> 0:42:44.359 But you know, we've gone to metal shows together, We've 0:42:44.400 --> 0:42:46.880 gone to electronics shows together. 0:42:47.000 --> 0:42:48.080 We really love music. 0:42:48.960 --> 0:42:53.279 We both play music. I sing, I love dancing. Like 0:42:53.360 --> 0:42:56.960 we were really into music in general, and that for 0:42:57.000 --> 0:43:00.120 me is huge. That's been a that's been a key 0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:02.400 factor in most of my relationships in general. Like if 0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:05.080 we don't have music at common, then I can't hang 0:43:05.120 --> 0:43:05.640 out with you. 0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:07.719 That much. 0:43:07.760 --> 0:43:12.880 So what's, uh, what's what's next for your guys's uh lives? 0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:15.319 Are you gonna you think getting married? Do you think 0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:21.200 it about going to moving to Portugal? What's uh? What's happening? 0:43:21.680 --> 0:43:22.120 Uh? 0:43:22.440 --> 0:43:25.200 No, So we're we've been trying to have a baby 0:43:25.680 --> 0:43:29.359 for a couple of years. We've unfortunately had a couple 0:43:29.440 --> 0:43:33.279 of failures, but in one kind of recent which is 0:43:33.920 --> 0:43:36.520 one of the tumultuous things that has been going on. 0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:41.799 But that but we are that's okay, We're getting through it, 0:43:41.880 --> 0:43:45.960 and that's that's the next step. We're actually getting ready 0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:48.600 to move in with my family because we're you know, 0:43:48.600 --> 0:43:52.879 we're trying to combine bills and we've got older. My 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:55.759 my grandmother's getting older, and my mom's getting older and 0:43:55.800 --> 0:43:58.560 everybody just kind of needs to be together. So that's 0:43:58.600 --> 0:44:00.960 also a very is going to happen this month. 0:44:01.120 --> 0:44:04.359 So yeah, are both of are both of you very 0:44:04.400 --> 0:44:09.799 like family oriented, like you're like his his family is 0:44:09.840 --> 0:44:13.799 your family, your family. His family kind of vibes absolutely. 0:44:13.840 --> 0:44:16.239 I love his family, he loves my family. We all 0:44:16.280 --> 0:44:20.319 get along great and and his family so much so 0:44:20.480 --> 0:44:23.839 different from mine, but also not because they're we're all 0:44:23.920 --> 0:44:27.120 just very loving families, which is it's a blessing. 0:44:27.760 --> 0:44:29.960 And how do you feel as though you got you guys? 0:44:30.080 --> 0:44:31.200 Your families are different? 0:44:33.320 --> 0:44:38.360 Well, his his are all Dominican and uh and mine 0:44:38.360 --> 0:44:42.200 are I only live know my like white side of 0:44:42.239 --> 0:44:45.920 my family, my my Irish side, but I'm half Mexican 0:44:45.960 --> 0:44:50.080 as well. But and I grew up in Las Vegas, 0:44:50.080 --> 0:44:53.400 so you know, I grew up with Mexican origin around 0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:56.160 me all the time. But I grew up with my 0:44:56.200 --> 0:45:01.480 Irish family and uh, so it's definitely different dynamic, Like 0:45:01.680 --> 0:45:04.279 you know, when we go to holidays and stuff like that, 0:45:04.440 --> 0:45:08.960 Like his family they do uh karaoke and they dance 0:45:09.160 --> 0:45:13.080 and they make big meals and there's everybody shouting and 0:45:13.120 --> 0:45:14.480 having a wonderful time and. 0:45:14.400 --> 0:45:16.640 Then at my my house, it's a little. 0:45:16.480 --> 0:45:20.880 More calm, you know, it's a little more uh reserved, 0:45:21.200 --> 0:45:25.000 I guess, but it's still loving and like kids are 0:45:25.040 --> 0:45:28.080 running around and you know, we're kind of a white 0:45:28.120 --> 0:45:31.120 trash family too, so it's it all kind of is 0:45:31.160 --> 0:45:33.600 the same for us. It's just love everywhere. 0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:38.120 That's uh, that's really that's nice. I'm very I'm uh, 0:45:38.440 --> 0:45:42.120 I'm touched by you, guys, I really am. This is uh, 0:45:43.280 --> 0:45:46.520 that's cool. I think I do think that a good 0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:49.600 life probably has a lot of other people in it. 0:45:51.560 --> 0:45:56.400 Yeah, yeah, well. 0:45:57.120 --> 0:45:57.839 This is all good. 0:45:58.120 --> 0:45:59.560 We've been talking for a long time. 0:46:00.360 --> 0:46:04.759 They're all good things. I'm trying to think if if 0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:06.399 I have any of the question, is there anything else 0:46:06.440 --> 0:46:08.800 that you wanted to to talk about? 0:46:10.600 --> 0:46:12.840 No, I think we probably should give someone else. 0:46:12.719 --> 0:46:13.479 A chance to talk. 0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:15.960 What's your name is, Mercy? 0:46:17.280 --> 0:46:20.400 Mercy Mercy. 0:46:20.719 --> 0:46:24.960 Uh, I'm very happy for you, uh, Mercy, I'm glad 0:46:24.960 --> 0:46:27.960 that you It's kind of cool. Well, because a lot 0:46:27.960 --> 0:46:30.560 of people, I'm sure. First of all, this is this 0:46:30.640 --> 0:46:34.280 is all this whole phone call has been sponsored by Tinder. 0:46:35.360 --> 0:46:38.400 They paid this caller to call in and talk about 0:46:38.440 --> 0:46:43.640 her experience. No, that's not true at all, but it does. 0:46:43.800 --> 0:46:46.360 This is a good This is an advert to because 0:46:46.440 --> 0:46:49.839 a lot of people are getting fed up with uh 0:46:50.960 --> 0:46:56.040 dating apps. But it's like sometimes sometimes sometimes if you're 0:46:56.160 --> 0:46:59.280 patient enough, I feel like you just you get lucky. 0:47:01.200 --> 0:47:05.480 Yeah. Yeah, I mean it's definitely not what it used 0:47:05.520 --> 0:47:08.960 to be. And and I was. It was my last 0:47:08.960 --> 0:47:13.160 ditch effort at the time. So what can you do? 0:47:13.520 --> 0:47:14.160 It worked out? 0:47:15.280 --> 0:47:17.920 Uh, Mercy is or anything else you want to say before. 0:47:17.680 --> 0:47:22.160 We go, Nope, thank you for your time and I 0:47:22.200 --> 0:47:23.920 really appreciated your conversation. 0:47:25.320 --> 0:47:26.919 Thank you for calling Mercy. I have a good rest 0:47:26.960 --> 0:47:27.480 of the night. 0:47:28.239 --> 0:47:28.600 You too. 0:47:28.680 --> 0:47:29.880 Bye bye. 0:47:31.160 --> 0:47:37.759 Well that was that was nice. See see you guys. 0:47:38.080 --> 0:47:41.560 Well you gotta do. You just gotta keep trying. Maybe hopefully, 0:47:41.560 --> 0:47:47.760 maybe you'll get lucky and you'll meet you'll meet somebody 0:47:47.960 --> 0:47:50.960 who you have a you call them and you guys 0:47:51.000 --> 0:47:58.319 have a seven hour conversation. That's cool. There's hope. I 0:47:58.320 --> 0:48:04.920 feel there's hope out there that fall in love and 0:48:05.040 --> 0:48:11.960 not and to look at stuff and eat food, and 0:48:12.600 --> 0:48:15.399 uh yeah, this is hope. This is hope. But I think, 0:48:16.000 --> 0:48:18.839 oh god, I feel I'm trying to like if I've 0:48:18.880 --> 0:48:20.800 been speaking, I've said this a bunch of times already. 0:48:20.840 --> 0:48:26.040 But if I've been speaking too sincerely for too long, 0:48:26.360 --> 0:48:29.600 I'll really want to think of something stupid to say. 0:48:30.560 --> 0:48:33.240 But I couldn't think of anything that was remotely funny. 0:48:33.280 --> 0:48:35.400 So I just had to put a period at the 0:48:35.480 --> 0:48:39.080 end of my sincerity, which is which is fine, which 0:48:39.080 --> 0:48:39.480 is fine. 0:48:41.000 --> 0:48:43.359 Hello, Hello, how are you doing well? 0:48:44.360 --> 0:48:46.680 Hello? How are you doing sir? What's your name? 0:48:48.000 --> 0:48:49.000 My name is Griffin? 0:48:49.960 --> 0:48:51.719 Griffin? What can I what can I do you for 0:48:51.920 --> 0:48:53.000 this evening? What's going on? 0:48:55.040 --> 0:48:55.239 Well? 0:48:55.280 --> 0:49:02.520 I I was curious if if you were or anyone, 0:49:02.600 --> 0:49:06.200 you know, maybe it has had any sort of like 0:49:06.480 --> 0:49:15.000 uh weird, I guess uncommon uh like health issues. 0:49:15.320 --> 0:49:15.560 Uh. 0:49:18.320 --> 0:49:26.480 That like that that aren't common. I myself have had 0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:27.440 scarlet fever. 0:49:29.680 --> 0:49:34.000 Oh that's like from the eighteen hundreds, right, I didn't 0:49:34.000 --> 0:49:35.200 know that was still a thing. 0:49:36.280 --> 0:49:39.520 Yeah, until the doctor told me that's what I had. 0:49:40.560 --> 0:49:44.680 I have the other the other day, my asshole was bleeding, 0:49:44.719 --> 0:49:49.160 which to me feels like a very twenty twenty four illness. 0:49:50.200 --> 0:49:53.120 Yeah, that's actually uh yeah, they didn't start doing that 0:49:53.280 --> 0:49:54.560 until I think this year. 0:49:54.760 --> 0:49:55.040 Yeah. 0:49:55.560 --> 0:49:58.120 Yeah, it's a very gen z thing to have a 0:49:58.960 --> 0:50:02.320 to have a bleed, asshole? How did you get scarlet fever? 0:50:03.920 --> 0:50:10.120 So, I mean this is years and years ago, but 0:50:10.320 --> 0:50:15.400 I like through middle and high school. I'm thirty one now, 0:50:17.160 --> 0:50:24.000 but I got strapped throughout like I countless times, like 0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:27.720 over and over and over again. Apparently I was really 0:50:28.160 --> 0:50:33.360 prone to getting it, and I guess one of the 0:50:33.440 --> 0:50:40.920 times it ended up going dormant. So I felt fine 0:50:42.440 --> 0:50:47.560 and I wasn't showing any symptoms of anything, and then 0:50:47.600 --> 0:50:52.960 I started getting like rash all over my body and 0:50:53.520 --> 0:51:01.520 just like feeling miserable and had no idea what it 0:51:01.680 --> 0:51:09.040 was from. Yeah, apparently the whatever the like virus of 0:51:09.480 --> 0:51:12.440 that causes strep throat, I guess had gone dormant and 0:51:13.760 --> 0:51:19.440 turned itself into scarlet fever. Uh. The funny, the funniest 0:51:19.440 --> 0:51:23.120 part is that you brought up assholes. Actually, uh because 0:51:23.160 --> 0:51:26.279 they they they swabbed my throat like they do for 0:51:26.360 --> 0:51:29.680 strep throat, and it came up negative and I was like, well, 0:51:32.040 --> 0:51:34.080 like one of like one of the main places that 0:51:34.120 --> 0:51:35.680 I have this rash, it is like it is on 0:51:35.760 --> 0:51:39.600 my ass, and so they swabbed that and then that's 0:51:39.600 --> 0:51:40.800 when it came up positive. 0:51:42.440 --> 0:51:45.839 So how many you when's the last time somebody had 0:51:45.880 --> 0:51:48.239 scarlet fever in America. Are you like the only guy 0:51:48.239 --> 0:51:50.080 who has it now? Or like, what's the deal with this? 0:51:50.200 --> 0:51:53.200 I have absolutely no idea. I mean I've never even 0:51:53.239 --> 0:51:55.319 looked it up. That's why I was like curious, like, 0:51:55.440 --> 0:52:00.840 you know, I could I I have no idea. 0:52:00.960 --> 0:52:04.239 I thought like, wait, wait, wait, wait you haven't you 0:52:04.280 --> 0:52:05.160 haven't looked it up? 0:52:07.160 --> 0:52:08.440 How many people have had it? 0:52:09.719 --> 0:52:11.040 Or like, have you like looked into it? 0:52:13.400 --> 0:52:16.200 I mean, well I had it years ago. I mean 0:52:16.239 --> 0:52:19.000 I looked into it after that, but it's. 0:52:18.400 --> 0:52:21.320 Been a while. Scarlet fever, Okay, there are a few there. 0:52:21.360 --> 0:52:26.160 Scarlet fever is very Scarlet fever says, according to Google, 0:52:26.280 --> 0:52:30.480 is very rare. There are fewer than twenty thousand US 0:52:30.520 --> 0:52:34.200 cases per year. But it does say that it resolves 0:52:34.239 --> 0:52:36.280 within days two weeks. 0:52:37.160 --> 0:52:41.000 Oh yeah, I mean it wasn't. Uh yeah, once they 0:52:41.040 --> 0:52:44.000 gave once they realized I had it, I mean I was. 0:52:45.480 --> 0:52:46.600 I was good after that. 0:52:46.760 --> 0:52:49.239 But I'm going to look it up on Wikipedia see 0:52:49.239 --> 0:52:52.000 scarlet fever Wikipedia. When did it start? Who invented it? 0:52:52.680 --> 0:52:54.800 When did it start? 0:52:55.200 --> 0:52:55.359 Oh? 0:52:55.480 --> 0:52:57.839 Is this a lady with a weird tone? Oh? This 0:52:57.920 --> 0:53:00.600 is I'm never you know what? Never look up disease 0:53:00.680 --> 0:53:03.160 on Wikipedia. You won't like what you Oh wait, okay, 0:53:03.160 --> 0:53:05.200 hold on, I'm on the Wikipedia page for scarlet fever. 0:53:05.360 --> 0:53:11.680 On history. Under history it says the dick test. Did 0:53:11.719 --> 0:53:13.319 you know there's a dick? This is real. If you 0:53:13.320 --> 0:53:16.000 go to the scarlet fever Wikipedia page and go to history, 0:53:16.880 --> 0:53:19.640 it's there's a there's a it says the dick test. Okay. 0:53:19.880 --> 0:53:25.000 The dick test, developed in nineteen twenty four by George 0:53:25.040 --> 0:53:29.560 and Gladdie's Dick, was used to identify those susceptible to 0:53:29.640 --> 0:53:35.200 scarlet fever. The dick test involved injecting a diluted strain 0:53:36.080 --> 0:53:42.640 of the streptinoch known to cause scarlet fever, and if 0:53:42.640 --> 0:53:45.680 no reaction was seen in the skin. Have you have 0:53:45.760 --> 0:53:50.799 you tried in injecting yourself with a diluted strain of streptinok. 0:53:52.719 --> 0:53:54.960 Uh No, I can't say that I have. I have 0:53:55.080 --> 0:53:55.640 not tried that. 0:53:55.800 --> 0:53:58.000 Now, well, you should try the dick test, dude, I 0:53:58.000 --> 0:54:04.640 don't know if that's what you're doctor did on Yeah. 0:54:02.800 --> 0:54:06.880 Well, they brought a bunch of Griffin. 0:54:07.360 --> 0:54:09.600 Go ahead, Griffin finished. I wanted to finish what you're 0:54:09.600 --> 0:54:09.960 gonna say. 0:54:10.080 --> 0:54:13.640 They brought a bunch of like nurses and doctors uh 0:54:13.760 --> 0:54:16.960 in uh because none of them had ever seen it. 0:54:17.040 --> 0:54:19.600 And I remember the doctor was like, you might not 0:54:19.800 --> 0:54:23.200 ever be someone that had this again. And they were 0:54:23.239 --> 0:54:28.360 all like examining my body. It was a very weird experience. 0:54:28.640 --> 0:54:31.200 Well, the good news about having an old disease is 0:54:31.239 --> 0:54:32.919 that they figured out how to cure it by now, 0:54:33.120 --> 0:54:36.200 and you and you and you were able to get 0:54:36.200 --> 0:54:38.800 through it all without having to take the Dick test. 0:54:39.880 --> 0:54:42.440 Correct. I might be sterile because of it, though, That's 0:54:42.480 --> 0:54:43.200 what they told me. 0:54:43.440 --> 0:54:44.520 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:54:44.520 --> 0:54:45.640 people of the computer before we go? 0:54:48.600 --> 0:54:52.520 Uh, go to your doctors, get things checked out if 0:54:52.520 --> 0:54:55.520 you're if you have symptoms of anything. I guess I 0:54:55.520 --> 0:54:55.840 don't know. 0:54:57.480 --> 0:55:02.520 See you later, Griffin have on? Did you say his 0:55:02.640 --> 0:55:06.040 name was Griffin or Griffith? Hello, folks, it's Lyle here. 0:55:06.400 --> 0:55:09.759 That's the end of this episode. But get this, I'm 0:55:09.800 --> 0:55:14.560 releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an entire 0:55:15.080 --> 0:55:18.560 extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to 0:55:18.680 --> 0:55:22.919 by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at 0:55:23.000 --> 0:55:27.840 therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get access 0:55:27.880 --> 0:55:31.759 to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad free podcast 0:55:31.800 --> 0:55:34.600 feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my 0:55:34.719 --> 0:55:38.319 live shows members only streams, and they help support my 0:55:38.400 --> 0:55:42.000 ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a clip 0:55:42.200 --> 0:55:45.560 from this week's members only bonus episode. 0:55:45.960 --> 0:55:49.719 My ex hy to me that his mom was dead. 0:55:50.680 --> 0:55:53.080 Oh jesus, how long ago is this? 0:55:53.600 --> 0:55:55.200 I'm like dating this dude for like two years? 0:55:55.239 --> 0:55:55.399 Right? 0:55:56.200 --> 0:55:59.200 I plan a trip to Jersey to. 0:55:59.160 --> 0:56:01.960 Go back home with him to meet his family, And 0:56:02.200 --> 0:56:03.799 he like. 0:56:03.920 --> 0:56:08.320 Planned this trip out with me and didn't waited until 0:56:08.400 --> 0:56:12.120 the very last fucking second to tell me that it 0:56:12.239 --> 0:56:12.879 was all a lie. 0:56:13.680 --> 0:56:15.319 We would you do? 0:56:15.520 --> 0:56:17.040 Whatuld you do when you found out that it was 0:56:17.080 --> 0:56:17.479 a lie? 0:56:18.760 --> 0:56:19.600 Oh my god. 0:56:19.719 --> 0:56:21.520 I shut the fuck down. 0:56:21.800 --> 0:56:24.280 He gave me a fucking fifteen minute Uber ride. 0:56:24.840 --> 0:56:25.680 To process that. 0:56:25.880 --> 0:56:27.120 The first person I was going. 0:56:27.040 --> 0:56:29.840 To meet with his mom who's actually alive. 0:56:30.239 --> 0:56:33.719 That's really crazy, that's wild. Goddamn, what'd you What was 0:56:33.719 --> 0:56:36.600 it like meeting was his mom nice? What was it 0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:38.719 like meeting his mom? If you want to hear this 0:56:38.800 --> 0:56:41.400 full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium 0:56:41.440 --> 0:56:46.320 member at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com, or find 0:56:46.360 --> 0:56:50.400 the link in the episode description that's therapy Gecko dot 0:56:50.480 --> 0:56:55.879 supercast dot com. All right, I have nothing else to say. 0:56:57.120 --> 0:57:01.640 The line take every night, never bed get gostin his 0:57:01.760 --> 0:57:04.200 eyes is teaching you to how to your life 0:57:04.600 --> 0:57:07.520 But he's not really an expert.