WEBVTT - Conversations With Psychologists 0:00:01.840 --> 0:00:04.360 Watch up and welcome back to another episode and No 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.480 Sillers podcast with your host not funk that with your 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:16.919 low glasses Malone. Something to makes you uncomfortable usually usually 0:00:16.920 --> 0:00:20.040 a bitch is something that makes somebody else uncomfortable about 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.279 what they feel. Right. Usually it's where someone is called 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:27.400 a bit. If I'm hungry, I'm not bitch. I'm hungry. 0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:30.880 Like no, no, like, it's a little trickier, right, because 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.280 a bit and somebody who's gonna be barking she's hungry. 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:37.040 I ain't got no more food. I want some motherfucker food. 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:43.720 Stop bitching. Really, yes, So a nigga that can't provide 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:46.400 the food is a bit too, right, not at all. No, 0:00:46.680 --> 0:00:49.640 he's a bomb. Listen what he just said. He's a 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:52.640 bumb a penis and a vagina. No, what's the difference 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:55.440 between a bit in a bum. There're two different things. 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:58.240 A woman is not expected to provide a meal? Really? 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:02.240 Why not? Because it was not We were expected to 0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:05.240 raise children by ourselves. No you're not, Yes, we are, 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:10.480 because that is not the expectation. That's not the natural expectation. No, no, no, no, 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:14.440 you're talking about what happens versus what's expected. Yeah, So 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:17.960 what's the difference, because it's what most of everybody does know. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.759 That's that's because I'm gonna tell you the problem with that, 0:01:21.760 --> 0:01:24.360 that's because you think you can. I think you can't 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:27.319 raise a kid by yourself. Most women think they can, 0:01:28.920 --> 0:01:31.399 you can, and you do, and they usually do a 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:35.520 horrible job at it, most definitely, And what's the evidence 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.480 of that. All the bitch ass niggas that you be 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:41.520 talking about, that you're referring to, most of them was 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:45.280 raised by mama, by a single mama. I was raised 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:47.360 by a single mom. And I don't think I'm you 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.840 ain't a one, You ain't a nigga, You ain't a nigger. 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:54.120 You're not only talking about I don't know. I don't 0:01:54.120 --> 0:01:56.280 think they do a good job either on women neither. 0:01:57.440 --> 0:01:59.960 My mom was a single mom. I think I got Well, 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:06.440 that's not your Yeah, I'm gonna say that they have 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:10.200 a harder job to raise a man, because you can't 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:13.040 teach a man if you're not a man. And just 0:02:13.120 --> 0:02:17.800 because you're you're a man either, that's two different things too. 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:20.560 Just because you're a male doesn't mean that you are 0:02:20.600 --> 0:02:26.720 a man. Valid point. Maybe maybe differently that might be pushing, 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.880 hold on, hold on, what is the net? Okay, y'all 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.720 just jumped right off with some bullshit. What is the 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:34.919 name of your podcast? First off, I was gonna be 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:44.200 Muddy Waters, Muddy Waters with Uncle Buck yea and Dr Hudson. Yeah. 0:02:44.400 --> 0:02:48.960 Dr Hudson walked in on fire. This is glasses alone, 0:02:49.760 --> 0:02:54.359 no ceilings. So what is your podcast about? Exactly? It's 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:58.320 gonna be about everything. It's gonna be about the situations 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.280 that men and women and deal with daily. It's going 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.600 to be about hood ship, it's gonna be about good ship, 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:07.200 and it's gonna be about bad Ship's gonna be about sad. 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:09.760 It's gonna be about everything. So it's gonna be somebody 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:14.000 with the masters in psychology, psychology and doctor Hudson who 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:18.560 has a doctorate in psychology. Oh my god. Yeah, but 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:22.280 this is not like a competition. This is obviously you 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.680 would be the winner. I mean it was a competition 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.880 across the finish line long time ago. I take a 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.919 different perspective on that. I think the man should always 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.440 take the lead, always be the heads. And that's what 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:40.080 just want us to get shot first. We're walking to 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:42.760 the door. Whoever we'll go to the door first, get 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:46.640 a shot. I'm hoping you you have nine lives, but 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:52.080 that's not the point. The point a cat. That's a cat, right, 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:56.680 you like that it don've got nine lives, you can 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:02.400 just beat the beat the ship up. Honestly, they kill 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.120 it all the time, so it got to have more 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:06.760 than I love the way Nigga said, somebody lying. Either 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:08.680 they're killing it and they got a ton of lize 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:12.120 or Nigga's lyne they actually ain't killed it still, and 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:17.279 they didn't had more than nine niggas. Oh yeah, who's 0:04:17.320 --> 0:04:22.880 here taking count He's here to count y'all. Ship is 0:04:22.880 --> 0:04:25.039 funny already. We get to stop this ship now and 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:29.800 put this ship out. You want crazy, okay, okay, I'm 0:04:29.800 --> 0:04:32.800 here for it. Yeah. Yeah, she wanted to touch on 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:36.559 some ship. But how your week being going? Pretty good? 0:04:36.680 --> 0:04:38.960 Pretty good? But I wanted to touch on I had 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.480 mentioned to you I wanted to talk about the question 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:47.240 of our women too strong or men just too weak women, 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:52.719 I said when I came in here this cycle, and 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.600 actually I didn't want to talk about the vicious cycle. 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.640 I wanted to go a little bit more historical. But 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.000 I'm like, this ship is all set up for some 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:05.120 other ship like m it's set up for everything. I 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.760 feel like right now, I'm in a I'm in a 0:05:07.839 --> 0:05:10.400 chair right now, and you just analyzing my mind. So 0:05:10.839 --> 0:05:14.719 I have no idea what exactly to thing that cost 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:17.159 too much? How much does it cost? How much it 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:22.960 called for your first hour? What the why? What do 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.240 you mean? Why? Why would you charge somebody who needs 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.200 help that kind of money? The same difference? Why are 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:33.360 you sucking in their recording songs? I don't charge them 0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:37.080 two hundred fifty dollars. I don't let other people record here. 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:41.680 What do you charge? Nothing? It's free walk away with 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:44.719 hold on, hold on, hold up. So Rod is right here. 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:47.839 I need to get Rod a microphone, I think. Uh, 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:51.159 he said, what what are they paying two hundred and 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:54.800 fifty dollars an hour for? Well, first of all, what 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:57.159 do they walk away? You pay for the two for 0:05:57.200 --> 0:05:59.400 me to tell you what that comes with. So that's 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:03.440 part some let's get back. I brought her, That's what 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:06.479 I brought her for. I think she ain't to play 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:10.680 with it. She ain't sound like the Mason's. Yeah, you 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:12.280 got to be a part of it to know what's 0:06:12.279 --> 0:06:15.400 going on with this ship. The game is not gonna 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.800 be free. It is the sold not told you can 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.200 get some free shot out there. I went to school 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:23.800 my whole life. You need that money back. I don't 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:26.160 validation from nobody else, but you need that money back. 0:06:27.920 --> 0:06:30.279 Of course, everyone needs that money. You know, that money 0:06:30.279 --> 0:06:32.800 back because all of them hours of education. That's no, 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:34.880 I don't think I'll ever get that money back all 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:36.960 that ship lord and mercer. So let me ask you 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:39.400 a question. Sitting it so, do you have a discount 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.480 if it's black people? Knowing every come from discount, we 0:06:42.600 --> 0:06:45.320 come from a different trauma for grant, and that is 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:49.000 the goal. I get a grant to provide services to 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.800 underprivileged whatever it is. I think you should take black 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:57.840 people once a day. I'm black exactly, so I think 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.760 once once one in a week. You should figure out 0:07:01.760 --> 0:07:04.640 the time to know to black people because you know 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.159 we can't afford it. No, that's not that's not true. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:12.680 For Jordan's Nika, they paid. That's one our exactly can 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:18.120 change your life change Wait a minute, nothing, Dr Hudson. 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:21.200 You could change the nigger life and work. Yeah, I 0:07:21.240 --> 0:07:25.120 can't if you're willing to put in the fork, yes, listen, 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:29.760 I staying corrected. That's true life. Right now. I haven't 0:07:29.760 --> 0:07:36.160 been here for twenty minutes. I did not know. I 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:40.320 have walked in here to a life altering event. I 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:43.280 am prepared for it. I'm with it. Yeah, I'm glad, 0:07:43.280 --> 0:07:46.920 I'm happy. I'm heavy to provide man gradual. That's it, 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:50.280 right there. So back to the what you wanted to 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.120 talk about coming in, right? You want to talk about 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:59.320 our men? Are women too hard and our men too self? 0:08:00.080 --> 0:08:04.400 Are women too strong? Are men too weak? Yeah? Hard? 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:10.720 So yeah, okay, strong and weak? So I've historically thought 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:13.760 women are more are stronger than me, and right, not 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:16.920 in a traditional way you marry you, you measure strength rather, 0:08:17.400 --> 0:08:21.440 but like durability is the most underrated strength of all strengths. 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:26.240 And there's nothing more durable than a woman. Why I 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:28.960 don't know why you're so durable? Y'all can stretch the 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:33.600 ungoly proportions and deliver children and dilating and diameters and 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.160 ship and spread apart and bring to you. You know 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:37.960 what type of strength has got to be to deliver 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:40.920 another human being into Earth. That's got to be different 0:08:41.000 --> 0:08:43.439 to bring them onto the planet. But that's kind of 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:47.320 force though, So that it's strength determined by force. Hell, 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:50.000 A lot of times it is what have you been 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:57.200 forced to do? Me? I've been forced to fight. Shoot, Um, 0:08:57.240 --> 0:09:00.360 are you strong because of those events? No? I'm strong 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:02.959 because I was able to endure the the emotional stress 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:04.960 that something with those events. So who taught you how 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:09.160 to endure those events? Probably God and Scarface the rapper 0:09:09.320 --> 0:09:14.360 who was God's same person, same person, So what makes 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:18.720 him different? Scar facing God? They're the same person. To me, 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:22.040 Scarface is God. Like if God was a rapper, he'd 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:30.320 be Scarface out of Houston. Yes, that's Scarface. Say who oh, 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:33.960 so Rod is saying? Is the message? When I listened 0:09:33.960 --> 0:09:38.840 to him, it's biblical? M that's how great. Like the 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.320 first time I ever had to put in work, I 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:44.960 remember playing the Untouchables album and different ideas getting me 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:51.520 through it, Like listening to I've Never seen a Man Die? Like, No, 0:09:51.720 --> 0:09:53.920 it made me so I had listened to it after, 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:56.920 Like I've heard the song right a hundred times. Mind you, 0:09:57.320 --> 0:10:00.960 I've seen a man dies? What inspired tupacs um share 0:10:01.040 --> 0:10:03.880 so many tears? It's the same kind of idea. But 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.520 I love to parts baby Daddy. Yeah, So with scar 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:14.120 Face it really came down to um. Hearing that song 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:17.920 after it was different. It kind of helped me. It 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.120 like touched my soul. It gave me like this blues 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:22.400 field to to help me bear it without having to 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:27.040 go get drunk or go get high with him. I 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.719 identified with the feel Some of the things he was 0:10:29.760 --> 0:10:33.520 saying was very identifiable. What did you feel? I felt 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.440 like it was okay to what to have to shoot 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:41.679 the nigger? And after that, what did you feel? I 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:45.760 felt less regret? And now how do you feel even 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.679 less regret? So now you're able to do with that regret? 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:52.480 I don't have it anymore now. I felt like that 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:56.520 nigger had it coming. Because if you if you start 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.040 to threaten people lives and if I feel like you're 0:10:59.080 --> 0:11:02.240 trying to extinguish my life for me, I'm gonna do 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:04.440 everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:07.280 So you don't feel bad about that, not at all, 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:09.680 I even a little bit anymore. What do you feel 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:15.480 about bad about in life? Personally me selling drugs? Why? Well, 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:20.199 initially it was just the economic thing and morale, like 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.319 mo morale. Part of it that helped me deal with 0:11:23.480 --> 0:11:27.199 it was people were making a conscious choice, like you know, 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:31.239 like the liquor store selling liquor, you know, fat people, McDonald's, 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:37.480 you know um things that I thought. Compare drugs to 0:11:37.600 --> 0:11:45.040 eating McDonald's addiction, same type of addiction. Yeah, well, I'm 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.719 not saying it's the same type of the end of 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:50.440 the day. I'm saying this an addiction. It is anything 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.800 that's compulsive that you don't have any control over can 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:57.440 become an addiction. You can be ad digit to nicotine. 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:04.199 The motherfucking frauds that make donald You said, addicting the pussy. 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:05.599 I heard that. I want to make sure that the 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.520 listeners hurt it. She did bring that up, she said, 0:12:08.559 --> 0:12:11.040 addicted the pussy. Now we weren't we weren't even on 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:16.520 the subject of fucking but addicted the pussy. I'm just 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.160 trying to tell you that we weren't even in that area. 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:23.240 We were talking about foods. And I regret selling drugs 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.880 is because I thought people were making a conscious choice, 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:30.120 and then I learned people wasn't making a conscious choice. 0:12:32.920 --> 0:12:35.960 You don't think people that decide to use drugs aren't 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:39.199 making a conscious decision. Say that again. You don't think 0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:43.439 people that are choosing to use drugs or making a 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:47.320 conscious decision. No. Well, so at that time I did, right, 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.800 that was my thing. Like, um, honestly, as a hustler, 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.240 I used to have pride, like, well, you're gonna get 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.679 the best quality from me. I got a time when 0:12:55.720 --> 0:12:58.920 everybody was cutting their like PCP. You know that sure 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.480 they was cutting, would break fluids and embombing fluids, and 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.160 you know as a as a cut to stretch it, 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:07.679 I would only use and drops and all ether andy. Right, 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.000 so I was using all high quality stuff. I never 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.160 took shorts whether I was selling the crack, whether I 0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:17.200 was selling may be like two three years versus somebody else. Sure, 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:21.959 just so that was how I pacified myself. But um, 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:25.080 a couple of times, two separate times, somebody pregnant came 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:28.000 and brought drugs to me, and I really understood at 0:13:28.080 --> 0:13:30.480 that point there's no way a conscious mother would put 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:35.480 their child in danger, like obviously, no, that's not obvious. 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:39.720 There's there's mothers that are pregnant that still would put 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:45.439 their addiction, uh in front of the unburned baby. That's 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:48.800 that is, that's what addiction is. And so that's when 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:51.480 I realized that they weren't making a conscious short Now 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:58.400 it's conscious, so you believe that if well, hold on, man, yeah, 0:13:58.440 --> 0:13:59.880 you say, of course, I don't even finish the SHO 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:05.559 got that you already. She did just got you, she 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.000 did already got you therapy for free. I don't feel therapeutic. 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:20.400 But okay, so you're saying it's right, right, So you're 0:14:20.440 --> 0:14:26.080 saying you're saying that a motherfucker that can't control something 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.800 is still making a conscious choice to do it, because 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.360 that's what an addiction is. An addiction is something you 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:36.480 can't control. It's like because if you had control over it, 0:14:36.720 --> 0:14:39.280 it wouldn't be addiction, it wouldn't be considered an addiction. 0:14:39.400 --> 0:14:42.680 So you can control an addiction the same thing. It's anonymous. 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:47.960 I'm telling you from my perspective, it won't be an 0:14:48.000 --> 0:14:53.800 addiction if I can control it. It's that simple in 0:14:53.920 --> 0:15:00.440 my brain because at the end of the day, addiction, 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:04.440 in my brain, it is something you can't control. So 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:08.040 we're who who holds a responsibility and all this. Then 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.120 it's like this, if if I'm addicted to drinking liquor, 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.120 I'm willing to steal liquor. I'm willing to go to 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:22.160 the liquor store, jump over the counter, grab the fucking liquor, 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.560 do whatever is necessary for it. If I don't have 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:30.040 money or funds to you to support that, but you're 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:34.480 still conscious of that? Not really, how are you not 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:39.360 conscious of that? I'm conscious you're conscious of it. I 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.360 think I think something else starts to control the equipment. 0:15:43.040 --> 0:15:48.720 So there's a neurological component. I am very privy to 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.360 understanding how the brain works. Of course, just like a 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:54.800 sex act, I'm gonna use that just make it just 0:15:55.040 --> 0:16:02.120 very clear. Back to that. Dopemans, serotonin, all these new 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:05.640 transmitters that are transmitting the brain that makes you feel good, 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.760 the same thing that you get from a drug addiction. Right, 0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.320 doesn't mean the person is unconscious of what they're doing. 0:16:13.960 --> 0:16:18.600 They like the feeling, They enjoy the feeling. So that's 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.280 where But I can't control it now. You can if 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:25.960 you wanted to. You can't. If you can't, just like 0:16:26.240 --> 0:16:30.960 right now, there's impulses that disagree and you know what 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:34.680 that is, fine, that's what makes it worse. You can't know. 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:38.000 There's some ship that I've done that I know that 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.560 I could have controlled. I didn't want to because I 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:45.280 like how it feel. I'm saying like, you can't say 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.840 that for everybody, but most human beings, most human beings 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:52.240 that I know, do make choices because it makes them 0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:56.920 feel good. They could have made a different choice, choice 0:16:57.080 --> 0:16:59.200 wouldn't have made them feel good. Are they addicted to 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:03.800 the feeling same thing? Well, so it's like imagine something 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:07.680 kind of getting your body to control your money. You 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:11.040 already know if you do certain things to get that money, 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.080 you might end up here that I might only to 0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:15.879 talk about where you might end up whatever. But still 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:20.440 you know that you're conscious of those two choices. That's 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:24.160 I'm not I'm not judging either one. All I'm saying 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:28.920 is you are aware. You are aware to a certain point, 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:35.200 but but how you feel text precedence. Being aware doesn't 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:37.560 mean I can control this ship, though yes it does. 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.920 It gives you a choice. I don't know why not, 0:17:42.320 --> 0:17:46.040 because there's no way a sane or conscious person would 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:53.640 hurt their child. If if I'm I know plenty, I've 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:56.159 been around plenty. I worked at a level four for 0:17:56.320 --> 0:18:00.159 five years. I know plenty. They were very conscious. They 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:04.240 were different. I'm not judging why they did it, but 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:08.520 they were conscious and they made their reasons, validated conscious 0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:13.560 validated reason to murder your child, give me one. They 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:16.399 thought their lives would be better without the person who 0:18:16.560 --> 0:18:20.560 was taking care of them, like the mother. They thought 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.560 the lives of the child would be better because they 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:27.280 weren't able to be there. They thought if the child 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:31.840 was gone, their lives will be better. That's that's that's one. 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:35.080 I don't know if that's sanity at that point, you're 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:38.000 not saying and that's still not on the addiction categories. 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:42.240 We were talking about it consciously. But you can't judge 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:48.480 this is this is where you can't judge the reasons 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:54.040 why certain people make their decisions. People are conscious most 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.240 of the time, are conscious of what they do. It's 0:18:57.359 --> 0:19:02.440 what makes them feel good. But again this goes into 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.960 the same sense of addicted to the feeling itself. Addiction 0:19:06.119 --> 0:19:11.120 is just another level of ship conscious. A nigga addicted 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:14.359 to killing just totally different than the nigga. That nigga 0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:16.320 that said I'm just gonna kill because I think I'm 0:19:16.320 --> 0:19:20.119 gonna be better off. He didn't continue killing motherfucker's So 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:22.840 that's a different nigga. That's different. Okay, no, no, So 0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:26.040 it's another nigga that's addicted to killing. Though. It's another 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:29.280 nigga that that that that when he wakes up, got 0:19:29.359 --> 0:19:31.680 to kill because because if you don't kill him and 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:34.080 they're gonna kill him. Ain't talking about him. I'm talking 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:37.159 about him either that I'm talking about the nigga that 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:40.920 when he woke up, he really is saying, I don't 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:44.960 want to kill nobody. Listen, you know, listen, are you 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:47.920 gonna or are you gonna keep talking? We're talking about 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:51.119 addiction though, when you addict me like a serial killer, 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:55.320 I can't stop this ship in my brain, A nigga 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:57.080 is saying, I don't want to I don't want to 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.720 pick this bottle up. I don't want to test this side. 0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:04.440 It's calling me, man, but it's doing so much real 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:08.560 nigga niggas be laughing at acting like that came out. Honestly, 0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:11.720 so many people what you're talking about, the same ship 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:15.040 you're talking about. I didn't seen people that couldn't control 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:19.399 not wanting this fucking bottom. I don't seen mothers that, 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:24.399 no matter what they like, I need something to drink 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:28.760 right now, period. And then so look we do this, 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:31.040 we say, hey, man, you're not having them to drink 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:33.400 so here's what we're gonna do. We didn't isolated all 0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:35.760 the liquor. We didn't lock it all up. We didn't 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:37.440 done this and done that, and the nigg you know what, 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:39.440 the niggett done. I don't seen the nigga walk in 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:43.240 the freezing cold and the snow and say, Nigga, y'all 0:20:43.359 --> 0:20:45.640 niggas ain't gonna let me get no liquor. That's here, 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:49.359 nig I'm gonna walk in the freezing snow to fold 0:20:50.000 --> 0:20:54.720 five blocks. I'm gonna go and spend my last pholt 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:57.359 dollars just on the shot, just so we could. I 0:20:57.400 --> 0:20:59.880 could feel the taste of that, just so's it ain't 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:03.280 in them faded. It ain't getting them to this, uh, 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:06.760 this state of mind where they ought to control. They 0:21:06.880 --> 0:21:11.760 just needed the taste. So you're saying, um, so you're 0:21:11.800 --> 0:21:15.360 done now, No, I wasn't. Go ahead. I'll be done 0:21:15.400 --> 0:21:18.320 whenever you wanted to be done. Anybody whatever you want. 0:21:18.520 --> 0:21:21.960 Anybody that can articulate all that what you just said, 0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:23.680 I didn't say they could do that. I'm doing that 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:26.040 for them right now. So now now you're jumping again. 0:21:26.440 --> 0:21:29.840 You just you just articulately what I saw so I 0:21:29.920 --> 0:21:32.240 hope that if you paid attention what I said, I said, 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:35.240 what I saw. I just say they did all that. 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:38.840 Want go ahead, I'll wait for you. Go ahead. I 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:44.840 wait for you. Go ahead. Anybody are here, anybody drinking 0:21:44.920 --> 0:21:52.680 in articulate? All those steps are conscious. I'm all I'm 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:58.000 talking about is being conscious. Being conscious is the power 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:02.600 you have the even though it might be hard, even 0:22:02.640 --> 0:22:05.200 though it might not feel good, even though this person 0:22:05.280 --> 0:22:08.200 is done forever. But if you're able to make those 0:22:08.320 --> 0:22:13.440 conscious fucking decisions, that is different. When you are truly addicted, 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:18.000 you cannot even talk about those things. You can't even 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:21.520 ask is not an alcoholic? No, not talking about What's 0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:24.400 about what I'm saying, Because he's you're talking about the president. 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:27.320 That's articulate. Now, ideas he's talking about other people he's 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:30.360 talking about he's giving you steps of how what I'm saying. 0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:33.280 But that's what you guys have given me. The examples 0:22:33.359 --> 0:22:36.840 of people that can articulate themselves. You say they can articulate. 0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:43.159 Just that's not what I'm no. I did not so 0:22:43.760 --> 0:22:48.760 articulated it for them. Yeah, I said, literally what I say, 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.960 Come on, doctor, come on, now, that's really the truth. 0:22:53.640 --> 0:22:56.640 People here for that rewind, I can wind you will 0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:59.280 do that. That's why we got it. It's recorded mental 0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:01.639 rewind telling you what I've seen a ny could do. 0:23:02.240 --> 0:23:04.320 So I just say he sat here and told me 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:06.080 and at me and said this is what I'm gonna do. 0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:09.720 I said, I've seen what he did. He seen I 0:23:09.880 --> 0:23:15.159 saw him do that. He articulated what he went through. Please, Okay, 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:18.160 So you don't believe in the power of addiction, of course, 0:23:18.200 --> 0:23:20.119 I believe in the power of addiction. Have you ever 0:23:20.160 --> 0:23:22.439 been addicted to some? Of course? What have you been 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.480 addicted to? I don't think I want to talk about that. 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:28.120 I can not want to share. You can not want 0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:31.040 to share. God for a minute, you can't get to 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:35.080 fifty You might get me two fifty hours might get good. No, no, 0:23:36.280 --> 0:23:50.360 wait a minute, keep this perspective. I appreciates this too. 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:55.360 It's too goody ready, I'll be I needed to fifty down. 0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:59.320 We're gonna sit you right down for real. I'm my god, 0:24:00.480 --> 0:24:04.240 I would do. Have ever been a therapy? No, I've 0:24:04.240 --> 0:24:07.680 been a therapy. Somebody did it for free? Yeah. I 0:24:07.760 --> 0:24:14.800 had to work out, I mean it worn. It wasn't 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:18.240 as good as if it came to somebody actually that 0:24:18.560 --> 0:24:21.560 you didn't keep going back. Probably has somebody actually told 0:24:21.600 --> 0:24:23.520 me something that I feel it is worth two hundred 0:24:23.520 --> 0:24:26.639 and fifty an hour. Yeah, somebody taught me how to 0:24:26.720 --> 0:24:32.399 make sure. Somebody taught me how to taught me how 0:24:32.440 --> 0:24:35.200 to make rocks, taught me how to cook hard that 0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:39.840 was worth two fifty. No, I'm just thinking of information. 0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:43.480 Think what have I got that's worth two fifty hours? 0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:53.320 He did. Oh yeah, that's not what I'm saying. I'm 0:24:53.400 --> 0:24:57.520 just thinking, what is what what I consider worth two 0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:00.480 fifty an hour? And I just think about it is 0:25:00.640 --> 0:25:05.480 that you're like your your expectation is of the professionals 0:25:05.520 --> 0:25:07.800 you're getting from. You got to think about if people 0:25:08.119 --> 0:25:12.600 when they're buying like packages to maybe like do business, 0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:15.719 you know deals, you're not even thinking about how much 0:25:15.760 --> 0:25:18.320 it costs. You already know that if they're providing something 0:25:18.359 --> 0:25:19.959 that's gonna help you to get to where you need 0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:22.760