Speaker 1: Nicky Podcast. Nicky Yeah here I am. Hey everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: to the Nicky Glazer Podcast. It's Thursday. UM, oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: what a week. I'm gonna miss you guys over the weekend.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to the show. You
Speaker 1: know what this means to me. Hey, maybe, UM take
Speaker 1: the time today to get a friend into the podcast
Speaker 1: if you enjoyed one show in particular this week, um,
Speaker 1: or one segment stood out? Get get up, people on board.
Speaker 1: You know, besties are connecting with each other, um, and
Speaker 1: people are getting dates because they like the show and
Speaker 1: they're there. We had a you know last week on
Speaker 1: fan tracks, which we'll get to today. Uh yeah, a
Speaker 1: bestie found out one of the guys she was meeting
Speaker 1: with on one of these apps was a fan of
Speaker 1: the show, and so they had a commonality right way.
Speaker 1: I loved it. So maybe introduce a fan that might
Speaker 1: need a friend to the show today, because god damn,
Speaker 1: you guys are my friends. So excited to talk at
Speaker 1: you today. Um God, I no I talked too much.
Speaker 1: I just and and you know, if this is the
Speaker 1: place for it, obviously because it's my podcast, But um,
Speaker 1: lately I've been making jokes about how I talked too
Speaker 1: much around my friends and people and and certain people
Speaker 1: that I just kind of started talking like meeting and
Speaker 1: just making like kind of just jokes about. Like yesterday,
Speaker 1: I was talking to two of the people that are
Speaker 1: following me around with cameras for I don't even know
Speaker 1: what um, but I said something about someone who talks
Speaker 1: a lot. I was like, they just like to hear
Speaker 1: themselves talk, and that comes from someone who likes to
Speaker 1: hear themselves talk. And they both left so hard that
Speaker 1: it verified for me that I'm someone that they've probably
Speaker 1: talked about behind my back, being like cut, she talks
Speaker 1: a lot, And I just hate That's how you like
Speaker 1: test if something is true about yourself, you disparage yourself.
Speaker 1: And if someone actually does like a real laugh, like
Speaker 1: you get them to laugh in a genuine way, that's
Speaker 1: confirms it. Like sometimes I'll say some things on stage
Speaker 1: and I go the way you guys laughed at that
Speaker 1: I don't even like because it confirms what I just
Speaker 1: said is so true, you know, Like when I got
Speaker 1: called Owen Wilson at UM the roast and like the
Speaker 1: everyone goes, Nikki, no, that's not true. You don't look
Speaker 1: like when I was like, why did the roof literally
Speaker 1: blow off the place? Then with how funny it was,
Speaker 1: because the truth is funny. It's ridiculous, but it's a
Speaker 1: little bit true. Um. And as someone who talks too much,
Speaker 1: I just I just asked you a question and then
Speaker 1: I talked through the answer, which is what I do
Speaker 1: to you, like every day. I gotta get better. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't have I'm not a talkative person. I do
Speaker 1: wish I had more of that quality. And it's something
Speaker 1: that makes me very anxious when I go to, like, um,
Speaker 1: a party or just like a place where I don't
Speaker 1: know any one. I wish I could have those talking skills.
Speaker 1: Bring me bring like if anyone wants me to, I
Speaker 1: don't know, just bring up. I just wanna. Um, I'd
Speaker 1: love to help people that have that are scared to
Speaker 1: do that because honestly, what is it about like talking
Speaker 1: that makes you nervous? Because maybe I can help people
Speaker 1: out that don wish they were a little more talkative
Speaker 1: and talk about how you could be more talkative, but
Speaker 1: not as talkative as me, because I honestly it's a burden.
Speaker 1: Yeah I have Ah, I guess I get like I
Speaker 1: overthink how do I start a conversation and how do
Speaker 1: I walk away from a conversation, and um, just not
Speaker 1: being able to talk a lot about stuff, which I
Speaker 1: can always talk a lot about stuff because I know
Speaker 1: more than I give myself credit for it, just the
Speaker 1: just how do I spark up a conversation and how
Speaker 1: do I walk away from it and not get trapped
Speaker 1: in it? I think that the best way to spark
Speaker 1: a conversation at a party or at you know, if
Speaker 1: you're trying to you Let's say, if you're a guy
Speaker 1: out there in the masculine energy or a woman in
Speaker 1: the masculine energy, and you would strike a conversation with
Speaker 1: up a stranger. I mean I just was at Starbucks
Speaker 1: and caught the just saw a guy that was like
Speaker 1: so attractive, and I tried to do the five seconds stare.
Speaker 1: It did not work, but I just lingered nearby at
Speaker 1: a table. I like, I was gonna walk back to
Speaker 1: my apartment, but said, I like took a seat at
Speaker 1: a table and was like, maybe he'll turn, Like I
Speaker 1: was behind him. He thought I passed, and then I
Speaker 1: went back and then I just sat behind him and
Speaker 1: he never even turned around to see that I was there.
Speaker 1: I was. I think his friend that he was with
Speaker 1: thought I was like checking him out. Um, but I
Speaker 1: get really nervous like that too, especially approaching men. Maybe
Speaker 1: for a romantic thing, but in terms of like at
Speaker 1: a party, I think honestly leading with the truth. So
Speaker 1: let's say you're going to a social function where you
Speaker 1: do know a lot of people or you don't know anyone,
Speaker 1: and you're at a party and you're like, I'm so scared.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to know anyone. I only know the host.
Speaker 1: That happens a lot, you know, and they're gonna be
Speaker 1: schmoozing and running around. I don't want them to do
Speaker 1: hand on me, to like walk me through things. Literally,
Speaker 1: that is such a common fear that you can already
Speaker 1: just guarantee that, no matter what, at least thirty of
Speaker 1: the people at this party are going to feel the
Speaker 1: same way, and that most people that didn't even show
Speaker 1: up to the party didn't show up because they feel
Speaker 1: that way. So the fact that you're going is already
Speaker 1: like congratulate yourself for that, because that's hard. So even
Speaker 1: if you go and you just freak out and you leave,
Speaker 1: like the fact that you even tried to go like
Speaker 1: is really brave. And I just think we need to
Speaker 1: challenge ourselves to do things that are out of our
Speaker 1: comfort zone because first of all, think of the worst
Speaker 1: thing that can happen. Like you say something to someone
Speaker 1: and you say like, like, no, you're not gonna say
Speaker 1: You're gonna put your foot in your mouth, like in
Speaker 1: the worst way. You know, You'll you'll say something awkward
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, that reminds me of when I
Speaker 1: shipped my pants right now or what. Like let's and
Speaker 1: then you shoot your pants or what, like that's the
Speaker 1: worst thing. Like then you have a story where you
Speaker 1: get to say you ship your pants at a party
Speaker 1: awkwardly for the rest of your life and you get
Speaker 1: to tell people that and like that party like maybe
Speaker 1: the story will get out, but everyone ships their pants,
Speaker 1: so it's okay. But I do think the best conversation
Speaker 1: starter is the is what's honest? And this is what
Speaker 1: I do when I'm on when I'm on stage and
Speaker 1: I dig myself into an awkward hole. Let's like, say
Speaker 1: I'm on stage and I'm tackling a subject that I
Speaker 1: really haven't flushed out the bit yet, I admit something
Speaker 1: that's like no one relates to the audience is kind
Speaker 1: of staring at me there, like, will you please like
Speaker 1: move on? The subject is really uncomfortable, and I just
Speaker 1: it's like I'm bombing. You know, generally I would feel
Speaker 1: the trickle of sweat start to form on my lower
Speaker 1: back that I get the flop sweat. I know I'm bombing.
Speaker 1: If that little trickle of sweat I have, I have
Speaker 1: four inches to save that, because why at the time
Speaker 1: if when I feel it rich my ass crack and
Speaker 1: disperse into my butt, that's when there's no turning back.
Speaker 1: But I have that that time between where it becomes
Speaker 1: a bead of sweat that's heavy enough to slowly trickle down.
Speaker 1: I have that trickle down to save it. And the
Speaker 1: truth is, even if it like splashes into my asshole,
Speaker 1: I still have time to save it. The thing that
Speaker 1: I didn't realize until seven, I would think I realized
Speaker 1: this two years ago. Not less than the honest honesty
Speaker 1: will always dig you out of it. So for me,
Speaker 1: I go wow. The audience is thinking this is awkward, Nikki,
Speaker 1: can you please move on to another joke? I just
Speaker 1: call out the obvious thing that is making it so uncomfortable. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is Nikki. You didn't really figure out that joke
Speaker 1: enough to present in a way that's funny. It's making
Speaker 1: everyone feel really weird, and we wish we could go
Speaker 1: back five minutes ago when you were killing talking about
Speaker 1: your vagina. I just call out the thing that you know.
Speaker 1: It might not be what they're thinking, but it's close
Speaker 1: enough to what the truth is, which is something bad happened,
Speaker 1: and now this is weird. So for you going into
Speaker 1: a party, going to the bowl of pretzels and making
Speaker 1: yourself a drink and sipping on it and being like,
Speaker 1: I have nothing else to do, do I look at
Speaker 1: my phone? You can literally be on your phone and
Speaker 1: if there's someone else there that you're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: maybe want to talk to them, or even if you
Speaker 1: don't want to talk to them, if you just want
Speaker 1: to feel more social, truly, you could go up to
Speaker 1: a group of people that already is having a great
Speaker 1: time and go this is what I would do. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Nicki Glazer, not comedian Nicki Glazer. Everyone knows
Speaker 1: me Nicki Glazer. This is Nicki Glazer. Where I'm in
Speaker 1: fucking Dubai and no one knows who I am. Maybe
Speaker 1: not to Bai because it's culturally would be different, but
Speaker 1: in an American world and most of like the Western world,
Speaker 1: I would go up to a group of people and go, guys,
Speaker 1: I know you're in the middle of a story. I
Speaker 1: don't have any friends at this party. I feel really awkward.
Speaker 1: Can I just stand here like I'm one of your
Speaker 1: best friends. That's funny, it's honest, and I swear to God,
Speaker 1: they're gonna be like, oh my God, of course. And
Speaker 1: if they look at you like you're weird. I think
Speaker 1: if someone did that to you and your friends at
Speaker 1: a party, someone who was shy came up and goes, guys,
Speaker 1: I don't know anyone on at this party. I know
Speaker 1: this is awkward. I'm so nervous to even do this.
Speaker 1: But can I just like stand here so I don't
Speaker 1: have to like awkwardly look at my phone and pretend
Speaker 1: like I'm texting someone that I'm really not texting. Just
Speaker 1: be honest, or if there's another person that's also alone,
Speaker 1: just go up to them. Go. I'm honestly so anxious
Speaker 1: right now because I am the word party Elicits nothing
Speaker 1: but fear in me, Like when something when there's a
Speaker 1: party size bag of checks mix. I get social anxiety
Speaker 1: even eating the bag alone on my couch. Say what
Speaker 1: and maybe you can't think of something, Nikki, I can't
Speaker 1: be that funny, I can't be that personable. I'm not
Speaker 1: expecting you too. But if you just say what's honest. Literally,
Speaker 1: if the host comes up to you, you can say,
Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna leave, not because I'm not having fun,
Speaker 1: but because I have social anxiety. Guess what. Social anxiety
Speaker 1: is so common that if you just call out what
Speaker 1: you're feeling, you could even say I literally like I
Speaker 1: put on a strap lest bra for this. It's the
Speaker 1: wrong bra, and I can't think of anything else. You
Speaker 1: could say that to someone at like the punch table,
Speaker 1: be like I like And let's say you don't want
Speaker 1: to say something self deprecating or true. A great way
Speaker 1: to spark up a conversation with someone is to just
Speaker 1: compliment their shoes. Say something about them that's true that
Speaker 1: you could compliment, like, Wow, you have really good posture.
Speaker 1: I gotta work on mine, Like, uh, you're where? That
Speaker 1: haircut is great? Where do you go? Just something that
Speaker 1: will get them talking, and then watch Love on the
Speaker 1: Spectrum you guys, when they run out of things to
Speaker 1: talk about, they just go Michael goes, wow, my mind
Speaker 1: is at a crossroads right now, and it's like he
Speaker 1: just says the truth. And there's something That's why I'm
Speaker 1: attracted to artistic people in terms of like wanting to
Speaker 1: be around them, be friends with them, because they just
Speaker 1: they do the thing that took me fifteen years to
Speaker 1: realize is the great thing to do. Because when these
Speaker 1: autistic people on the show around neurotypical people, people that
Speaker 1: aren't artistic, when they say something that's so true about
Speaker 1: like you know, at one point, Michael is on a
Speaker 1: date and his the gal. He's on a date with
Speaker 1: his own glasses, and he goes, would you take off
Speaker 1: your glasses for a second, And she takes them off,
Speaker 1: and he goes, now put them back on, and she
Speaker 1: puts them back on, and he goes, just what I thought,
Speaker 1: you're more attractive with glasses. And it's like it was
Speaker 1: and she was so touched by it because she's probably
Speaker 1: insecure about her glasses, like and and you know what,
Speaker 1: it was true and it's just even if it's awkward
Speaker 1: for you to do that, I really want to. I
Speaker 1: know these things like you're maybe saying to yourself, Nikki,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna shake violently. I'm going to have
Speaker 1: a panic attack just walking up to a group of people.
Speaker 1: I can't do that. You have a voice, you have, legs,
Speaker 1: you have or what maybe like you have the ability
Speaker 1: to approach a group of people. You can do anything.
Speaker 1: You really can do these things if you're able to
Speaker 1: have talk or communicate, whether or not you get a
Speaker 1: panic attack, like I don't want to make anyone do
Speaker 1: something that is truly out of the comfort zone. But
Speaker 1: you're capable of so much more than you think. And
Speaker 1: I think we get in our way when we go no,
Speaker 1: I don't do that. I'm I just can't do that.
Speaker 1: When people go I don't do the dating apps, they're
Speaker 1: not for me. I'm I'm special, I'm unique. You guys
Speaker 1: have heard me talk about this before many times, but
Speaker 1: I think that it's a good reminder, even to myself
Speaker 1: that things that you think that are just not for you, parties,
Speaker 1: aren't for me. I'm not a party person. I guess
Speaker 1: what you're probably not. You're right, you're not a party person.
Speaker 1: But you know what you could be is someone who
Speaker 1: does difficult things. You know that Um that book by
Speaker 1: that we all read last year on Untamed Undefeated. It
Speaker 1: was written by um. Do you know what I'm talking about? Noah?
Speaker 1: I think the lesbian woman, the woman that wrote a
Speaker 1: bunch of books and then she decided that she was
Speaker 1: in love with a soccer player. Fuck what is her name?
Speaker 1: Everyone's either shouting out that there's a book that came
Speaker 1: out last year. Anyway, the message of it was we
Speaker 1: do difficult things, we do hard things. And I really
Speaker 1: think about that all the time of when something is
Speaker 1: scary to me, run towards it, and or and before
Speaker 1: you do, think of the worst thing that can happen.
Speaker 1: And what does that mean for your life? Does it
Speaker 1: mean you're gonna go to jail? Does it mean you're
Speaker 1: gonna lose your children and your parents aren't gonna love
Speaker 1: you anymore? If it means those things, don't do it.
Speaker 1: But if it or if it means you might die,
Speaker 1: if it's like deathifying But if it means and if
Speaker 1: it means you might have a panic attack that makes
Speaker 1: you have a heart attack, don't do it. Right. But
Speaker 1: if it's not going to kill you, I mean, what
Speaker 1: doesn't kill you? Makes you stronger. Obviously we've all heard
Speaker 1: that before and a Kelly Clarkson song and many times
Speaker 1: before that on motivational things. But I know that, Like today,
Speaker 1: I'm taking a self defense class with my mom. Um,
Speaker 1: I I know, no, h, I doubt We're going to
Speaker 1: like a martial arts studio and I'm taking a self
Speaker 1: defense class with my mom. My mom does not want
Speaker 1: to be on camera, and I have cameras following me around.
Speaker 1: She is so stressed out about being on camera, being seen,
Speaker 1: like not looking pretty, having people judge her. She's also worried.
Speaker 1: I got her maid service, um, because she's worried about
Speaker 1: the way her house might look with cameras on it,
Speaker 1: and so I said, let me get a cleaning service.
Speaker 1: She's super scared of anyone coming into her house and
Speaker 1: like cleaning and judging her for being messy. So I'm
Speaker 1: guessing the house is spotless for these cleaners to come in.
Speaker 1: But she didn't want to do it. She didn't want
Speaker 1: to accept these gifts. She didn't want to have people
Speaker 1: come in and I go. But the thing is, this
Speaker 1: is a normal thing that people do. You're not special
Speaker 1: for being anxious about this. You're missing out by having
Speaker 1: this fear that you think is your thing, and like
Speaker 1: keep like I my mom's like I don't I don't
Speaker 1: have made services, I don't let strangers into my house.
Speaker 1: I don't go on camera. I'm not someone who wants
Speaker 1: to be on reality shows and starts. So almost identify
Speaker 1: with like a sense of pride that you're not that person.
Speaker 1: How about having pride that you're going to do something
Speaker 1: that makes you so uncomfortable. How about that like having
Speaker 1: me like I'm someone who doesn't like people in my house,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to try it out once and if
Speaker 1: I don't like it, I can stick to it and
Speaker 1: know that I try. I didn't didn't like it. But
Speaker 1: if you haven't tried these things that you're so adamant,
Speaker 1: like it's not for me, you don't get it. You
Speaker 1: don't get to say that it's not for you. Truly.
Speaker 1: I was always like, I hate outdoor activities. I hate canoeing. Yes,
Speaker 1: I went as a kid, but it had been I
Speaker 1: hadn't gone as an adult, and I kept saying I
Speaker 1: hated it. So I challenged myself to go on a
Speaker 1: trip and I learned I do not like it. And
Speaker 1: here's what I don't like about it, So maybe if
Speaker 1: I go again, let's change the things I didn't like
Speaker 1: about it. I don't want it to be so long.
Speaker 1: I don't want a man crawling into my canoe to
Speaker 1: do a demo of how you get back in a
Speaker 1: canoe after you fall out of one. I don't like
Speaker 1: there are things about it that I learned. But my
Speaker 1: mom is doing the self defense class on camera, which
Speaker 1: she's not good at physical activity. Last night she had
Speaker 1: a migraine and a headache and her neck got thrown out,
Speaker 1: and all of that was happened out of the blue.
Speaker 1: Why do you think because she was fucking stressed and
Speaker 1: nervous about today, and so I told her, I'm so
Speaker 1: sorry your neck is hurting. If we go tomorrow and
Speaker 1: it's still hurting, you can sit on the side and
Speaker 1: just watch me do the class and it'll be funny
Speaker 1: enough the cameras can film that that will be a
Speaker 1: whole story, will work around it. But that's the worst
Speaker 1: that could happen is that you're still in jo tomorrow
Speaker 1: and you don't do it. But just show up, you know,
Speaker 1: even with your neck, and just let this woman clean
Speaker 1: your house. I know her. I trust her. Um. People
Speaker 1: get their houses cleaned all the time. Mom, you're getting older.
Speaker 1: This is something you should maybe adopting your life to
Speaker 1: make your life easier. People do it for a reason,
Speaker 1: it makes their life easier. I'm buying the service for you.
Speaker 1: Please accept this gift and also thank you for doing
Speaker 1: something so outside of your comfort zone. I thanked her.
Speaker 1: I was like, you were proving to me how fucking
Speaker 1: cool you are. And this is why I love you,
Speaker 1: is that you're willing to stray from these things you
Speaker 1: think you know about yourself. And you know, if you
Speaker 1: hear me on this podcast, sometimes sometimes at some point
Speaker 1: the future, say like that's not for me. I don't
Speaker 1: do that, and you find me to be hypocritical. Let
Speaker 1: me know, because sometimes you say these things that you
Speaker 1: don't even realize. Well, you haven't tried it, so don't.
Speaker 1: You can't say that you're not it's not for you.
Speaker 1: Stop identifying with the things we can't do, and let's
Speaker 1: start identifying with the things that we're willing to try,
Speaker 1: so that we know we can't do and then we
Speaker 1: can identify that we don't like them. I just wrote
Speaker 1: a fun fact about myself today for this promotional thing
Speaker 1: that they're doing where they're like, we want Nikki Layser
Speaker 1: fun facts. And I was like, my phobias include um
Speaker 1: uh first dates, air shows, two lane highways, and um,
Speaker 1: drunk men on diving boards. I used to say fat
Speaker 1: men on diving boards because it was something about the
Speaker 1: board breaking. But just it's drunk men, I realized, like
Speaker 1: reckless drunk men. And and it wasn't a fat shaming thing.
Speaker 1: It's about like the board breaking like That's why. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like fat men are more reckless than regular like
Speaker 1: or like you know, uh not fat men or whatever.
Speaker 1: That was not what I was saying. It was just
Speaker 1: generally fat men like way down the board more and
Speaker 1: it is about to break more. Um. And I looked
Speaker 1: at each of those phobias and I go, have I
Speaker 1: confronted each of those things and learned that I didn't
Speaker 1: like them in the right way. And the truth is, yes,
Speaker 1: not with air shows, I haven't been to one as
Speaker 1: a as an adult, I'm going to challenge myself to
Speaker 1: go to one again and see if I can do it.
Speaker 1: Two lane highways, Yes, I have confronted that, and I
Speaker 1: have a plan of action for that. Centipedes. I'm working
Speaker 1: on it. If I do, I have improved so much by, like,
Speaker 1: you know, giving a name to spiders. Last year, I
Speaker 1: named my spider Trevor. That was in my parents bathroom,
Speaker 1: and that helped me with my spider thing. Spiders have
Speaker 1: eight legs. Centipedes have a hundred legs. It's the leg thing.
Speaker 1: There's too many legs. So if I name, you know,
Speaker 1: eleven spiders, that takes us up to eighty eight. Now
Speaker 1: let's do twelve twelve spiders times eight is eight sixty
Speaker 1: seventy two. Nine. Wait, twelve times eight is what is
Speaker 1: that a hundred? No, it's it's ninety six. But I
Speaker 1: cheated and six we're still okay. So I need I
Speaker 1: need twelve point three spiders, and then it can be
Speaker 1: a centipede because I think centipes have a hundred legs.
Speaker 1: I don't know, and then I can maybe confront my
Speaker 1: centipede fear. Um, you guys just learned that I confronted
Speaker 1: my fear of not knowing my twelves times tables past seven,
Speaker 1: and I showed you I was a little bit stupider
Speaker 1: than you may have thought I was. But that's my
Speaker 1: fears being stupid, and I'm running into it because when
Speaker 1: I get honest about it, it frees me. And what
Speaker 1: I don't know makes me open to things that I
Speaker 1: can know more than being so set in my ways.
Speaker 1: And I learned that from the Book of Doubt. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get Andrew in here. Um, hey, Andrew, I from
Speaker 1: what our apartment is big? You know, Yeah, that's I
Speaker 1: ran again sunglasses because I saw you at sunglasses and
Speaker 1: I want to look cool. And my eyes are just
Speaker 1: a little puffy today. I took a melatonin last night
Speaker 1: and so I woke up a little swollen daddy eyes.
Speaker 1: When I'm warned up by the way call back, shout out,
Speaker 1: shout out when you say Siri. Yeah, people's computers are
Speaker 1: like talking to them when you say it, So we
Speaker 1: should start doing it more. Oh no, like on the podcast.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no no, no, don't do that to them.
Speaker 1: Don't do that. He grabbed a knife. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Astro grabbed the knife. Hey, Astro murder her husband? Murder
Speaker 1: my husband? Does Astro respond to its name? Is that?
Speaker 1: I'm guessing it's gonna be like like a hey thing. Yeah, probably, Um,
Speaker 1: what do you do for like Amazon? If forget it's
Speaker 1: Hey Alexa. Oh yeah, that's right, right. My my cousin's
Speaker 1: name is Alexa. Hey Alexa, UM, take out the butt
Speaker 1: plug and put in your husband's ass. I was going
Speaker 1: to do a segment called Hey Alexa with my cousin Alexa.
Speaker 1: She's so like interesting and funny. Yeah, where I just
Speaker 1: talked to her about like I asked her things that
Speaker 1: you would ask Alexa. Yeah, we should do that. It's
Speaker 1: kind of a fun idea. Well, we should compare what
Speaker 1: Alexa says and then what real life Ali. That's a
Speaker 1: good idea. I just got an Alexa and I haven't
Speaker 1: plugged it in yet because I just don't want I
Speaker 1: want to make sure Siri knows that I'm dedicated to
Speaker 1: her before I bring in up. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be Polly uh Polly computer woman is. I wonder if
Speaker 1: we could have Siri and Alexa have a conversation like,
Speaker 1: Hey Alexa, say hi to Siri and then Hey, Siri,
Speaker 1: I'm not talking to that bit. If jobs told me
Speaker 1: I couldn't, computers are eventually going to be like funk
Speaker 1: that bitch, fuck Siri. Yeah, you were saying the other
Speaker 1: day that love on the spectrum they kind of talk
Speaker 1: like computers. Yeah they do, and that we're maybe not
Speaker 1: so far from computers. Yeah, I feel like they are
Speaker 1: like whatever. I mean, it's I don't know, because they
Speaker 1: don't they don't um, they don't have a sense of
Speaker 1: they're not worried about what other people think about them,
Speaker 1: so they just talk like this. It's kind of very
Speaker 1: Michael talks like this, and like it is very Sometimes
Speaker 1: they do sound like a little bit robotic. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and uh and it sounds like a computer trying to
Speaker 1: talk like a human. Yes, but but it's so like
Speaker 1: some of them love to laugh. Some of the autistic
Speaker 1: people on Love on the Spectrum love to laugh and
Speaker 1: like crack jokes and like and some of them have
Speaker 1: zero sense of humor. Like Michael does not laugh. He
Speaker 1: gets excited when people have the same is the best
Speaker 1: character I've ever not. He does not understand jokes where
Speaker 1: his mom is constantly laughing at everything he says, because
Speaker 1: everything he says it's hilarious and she's cracking up. And
Speaker 1: you know what, Michael had a beautiful moment in the
Speaker 1: second episode that I want to highlight that reminded me
Speaker 1: of stuff we talked about on the show where he
Speaker 1: went to a speed dating event with neurotypical women and
Speaker 1: then with also one autistic woman, the woman that he
Speaker 1: ended up going on the date with, the one that
Speaker 1: I just referenced, who's He told the thing about take
Speaker 1: off your glasses and he was like, you look better
Speaker 1: with classes. I thought that was a lovely thing to say.
Speaker 1: You guys, you and Chris were like but I was like, no,
Speaker 1: that's nice. He goes like I suspected, Yeah, he goes,
Speaker 1: you look even better. So he was acknowledging that does
Speaker 1: look better, which is a very honest statement. But that's
Speaker 1: something you want to I want to tell you, like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I would I think I think it would
Speaker 1: love if some guy was like, god, you know, even
Speaker 1: better equals you already look good to look even better.
Speaker 1: It's like our friend Ari, when he puts classes on,
Speaker 1: he doesn't have his beady of eyes right, they kind
Speaker 1: of make his eyes. He looks handsome in both ways.
Speaker 1: Ari is um I'm like attracted to Ari, uh like,
Speaker 1: and I always he's married and he has such low
Speaker 1: self esteem when it comes to his body image and
Speaker 1: his but yeah, we'll show his body all the time.
Speaker 1: But he's like hot. Ari's hot. I probably would have
Speaker 1: had a crush on Ari if you were not married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well maybe he'll get divorced soon as a kid now
Speaker 1: and if I like her too, But but I always
Speaker 1: want to let Ari know, like you're hot. Ari, I'd
Speaker 1: probably like be like trying to like, i'd be crushing
Speaker 1: on you if you were single. I just wanted him
Speaker 1: to know that he'll probably hear this. I feel that
Speaker 1: way about Anya's boyfriend Matt. I was like, Matt, you're hot.
Speaker 1: That was kind of an autistic move by you to
Speaker 1: just say that. He took off his mask, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, Jesus, Matt, you're hot. I was like,
Speaker 1: I like, good jobs. And my friend Manya, like, what
Speaker 1: do you feel about that? Noah? If like, I was
Speaker 1: with Ari and you were just in the other room
Speaker 1: doing something and I didn't say it because you weren't
Speaker 1: in the room, but let's say, sorry, you were in
Speaker 1: the was in the other room. I was with Av.
Speaker 1: You were in the other room, but it wasn't like
Speaker 1: I said it because you were another room, but you
Speaker 1: like heard me and I go, Noah, good job. I
Speaker 1: had told he's so hot, and like, okay, good because
Speaker 1: you know that it's not coming from like it's coming
Speaker 1: from a place of like if you didn't exist and
Speaker 1: I just saw this guy, would be like I want
Speaker 1: to stick around and sit behind him at Starbucks and
Speaker 1: and wait for him to maybe turn around look at
Speaker 1: me him. Yeah but ham but if yeah, so I
Speaker 1: just I didn't think it was I think he appreciated
Speaker 1: it because Matt, I know, also like doesn't think he's
Speaker 1: hot as as hot as he is, and he's like, seriously,
Speaker 1: a good look at you. No. I think Ari and
Speaker 1: I are very similar. We are not very secure. Although
Speaker 1: people will maybe you're much more secure than as you
Speaker 1: know you're hot. I don't. I really don't like. I
Speaker 1: really don't like. Honestly, I don't feel hot right now.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you that I feel a little flabby, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like but I'm kind of like leaning into
Speaker 1: I feel comfortable whatever. It's like a whole thing. But
Speaker 1: I don't feel hot. I just feel okay with completely
Speaker 1: okay with that. Do you feel hot when Brenna helped
Speaker 1: Brenna looks at you and handles that's nice. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I don't think about it that much. So when
Speaker 1: it is said, I feel like we should normalize girlfriends
Speaker 1: and wives telling their husbands that they're attractive, because I
Speaker 1: don't think they hear it enough or that were like
Speaker 1: just men in general, Like it doesn't mean that she
Speaker 1: wants to fuck you. It just means like, hey, you're
Speaker 1: like a hot guy. You know that right? Like you
Speaker 1: should we should celebrate that because I don't think men
Speaker 1: hear it from their guy friends ever. And so there's
Speaker 1: actually a reddit that I just saved the other night
Speaker 1: that I'm going to do on Reddit dumb next week
Speaker 1: that touches on exactly that. Where men are not complimentary
Speaker 1: enough to their guy friends, girls get it a lot
Speaker 1: from their girlfriends. We shower each other are in compliments um,
Speaker 1: which are mostly insecurities about us, like God, I wish
Speaker 1: I had your skin? Why is your waist so small?
Speaker 1: I want that? But like, men need to do that
Speaker 1: for each other, do it somewhat like before we'll go
Speaker 1: out at night, at least in your twenties, when you
Speaker 1: go out with your four guy friends, you're like, what,
Speaker 1: sure you're gonna wear? Oh you're gonna wear that stripe one?
Speaker 1: Oh you look good in that man? Oh your arms
Speaker 1: look big in that yeah, like I say stuff like that,
Speaker 1: or man, your cock is really throbbing through the gene.
Speaker 1: I just I really am reluctant to comment on guy's
Speaker 1: muscles popping because I just don't want the men that
Speaker 1: I'm trying to date spending more time at the gym.
Speaker 1: Like it just doesn't. It looks good, it feels good,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't. It doesn't. I don't want more of it,
Speaker 1: just like I don't I don't want I think that
Speaker 1: a lot of times, you know, I'm just projecting. But
Speaker 1: when people are like, wow, you look like you lost
Speaker 1: a little weight, I'm like, I want to keep going.
Speaker 1: I want to leave it even more because this is
Speaker 1: I just wanted to just go. I just want you
Speaker 1: to stay that way. It's almost like when you're in
Speaker 1: sex and you're like, oh, this is good, and then
Speaker 1: they get faster and you're like, no, just like keep
Speaker 1: that exactly that. It's like when you get a haircut
Speaker 1: and you're like, hey, I just want a trim, and
Speaker 1: then they go okay, and then they cut more and
Speaker 1: it's like no, I just I always say I want
Speaker 1: way less than I want. Always go at least like
Speaker 1: say you want a fourth of what they're actually what
Speaker 1: you actually want, because then they'll always do more. It's interesting.
Speaker 1: I mean I don't know. That's definitely something with the psyche.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll get told my body looks good, and then
Speaker 1: I go, Okay, well I've done enough. That's the other thing.
Speaker 1: That and you also because you've usually like like gone
Speaker 1: to workout classes every day and eating healthy and been
Speaker 1: on this like diet, that's making you like I can't
Speaker 1: have the foods I want And it's like so then
Speaker 1: when you finally let yourself off the hook, you go
Speaker 1: so hard into other things. It's about like still get
Speaker 1: to eat pizza you don't need, Like dieting is not
Speaker 1: gonna last. There's always gonna be the pendulum will swing
Speaker 1: the other way. What is a good compliment, like a
Speaker 1: good ton of compliment to give a guy from a
Speaker 1: girl's perspective. Let's say someone in my jiu jitsu class,
Speaker 1: right who happens to be like cute or whatever. But
Speaker 1: I don't want him to think I'm trying to flair
Speaker 1: with him. I just want to give him an honest
Speaker 1: compliment to like pay it for jujitsu, do it at
Speaker 1: that time, like supermarket or something what's like a platonic
Speaker 1: I think maybe saying listen, I'm saying this with no
Speaker 1: like I have a boyfriend. I just know that men
Speaker 1: probably don't get as many compliments as they deserve. And
Speaker 1: I hope you know that, Like you're a really attractive guy,
Speaker 1: and I hope you're on the dating apps putting this
Speaker 1: outfit out there because you need to take a picture
Speaker 1: of yourself today and put it on the dating apps
Speaker 1: because this is what women are really going to respond to.
Speaker 1: You look great today, and even preface it with like,
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship, I'm not hitting on you, and
Speaker 1: and I think say that again, lead with like honesty,
Speaker 1: like I feel like you might not hear this a
Speaker 1: lot because men don't compliment each other. But Brad, you're
Speaker 1: a good looking guy. Do you have a girlfriend? No,
Speaker 1: I'm just honestly, this look that you have right now,
Speaker 1: I should take a picture of you, afford it to
Speaker 1: you so you can put it on your bumble because
Speaker 1: this is you're a good looking guy. I do that
Speaker 1: a lot to guys of like, we need to capture this,
Speaker 1: this needs to you need. Women should take pictures of
Speaker 1: men in their lives because men never take have good
Speaker 1: pictures women. That's the big thing. Women need friends that
Speaker 1: are single. Take pictures of your friends and air drop them,
Speaker 1: or like a guy at the store, or like to
Speaker 1: be like and that might be a good way to
Speaker 1: hit on a guy. Be like, are you on dating apps?
Speaker 1: Because you need to capture this look right now, like
Speaker 1: you're hot, Like this is some this is a swipe
Speaker 1: right for sure, this look. And guys don't have a
Speaker 1: lot of pictures of themselves. You always take a picture
Speaker 1: of you and just quickly air drop it because you
Speaker 1: need to like you need to die. That's a great pup.
Speaker 1: That broccoli really brings out your green eyes. Yeah, it's hot,
Speaker 1: can yeah? I um yeah, hold that broccoli up. That
Speaker 1: would be a funny picture. So of a fish, just
Speaker 1: like a big My friend and I who's one of
Speaker 1: the camera people or the people following us around with cameras.
Speaker 1: She is on a st less dating app and we
Speaker 1: were screenshotting. I was just on it last night, not
Speaker 1: even combing for like a guy, but like just looking
Speaker 1: for funny things to make fun of. I gotta to
Speaker 1: share some of these things that these guys you never
Speaker 1: you never finished what with the this it's funny to room,
Speaker 1: but just knocked on the door. Worried. I thought we
Speaker 1: had an intruder. Wait, what did I not find? Very
Speaker 1: short intruder who's crawling towards the door? Um No. On
Speaker 1: Love and the Spectrum, there was one thing from okay,
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Um uh. He said that he
Speaker 1: was talking to his mom about speed dating, and on
Speaker 1: speed dating, he wrote down three women that were his
Speaker 1: top choices. He only got one match, and Heather is
Speaker 1: the one that was autistic, and he kind of, I think,
Speaker 1: wanted these other two girls that were also just neurotypical,
Speaker 1: and he didn't match with them, and he was really
Speaker 1: bummed about it that he only got the autistic girl.
Speaker 1: I think, and um. And then a couple of days later,
Speaker 1: he's like, mom, and it's like the day of his
Speaker 1: date with Heather, the autistic girl, and he's like, at first,
Speaker 1: I was very upset that I did not match with
Speaker 1: my other two choices, and his mom's cracking up. She's like,
Speaker 1: don't Michael, don't say this. He's like, at first I didn't.
Speaker 1: I was really mad that it was just Heather. And
Speaker 1: then I thought about it and the more, and then
Speaker 1: when I talked to Heather on the phone today. I
Speaker 1: realized it was actually for the best that I didn't
Speaker 1: match with them, because I really don't have as much
Speaker 1: in common with those girls as I do Heather, And
Speaker 1: after talking to her, I realized he like he was
Speaker 1: able to with no like reading a self work book
Speaker 1: or like listening to David Goggans, he was able to
Speaker 1: realize that this thing that he thought he didn't want,
Speaker 1: the failure of not matching with these two neurotypical girls
Speaker 1: actually made him steered him in the direction that was
Speaker 1: the best outcome for him, which was this girl that
Speaker 1: he actually like, I was more excited about than he
Speaker 1: would have ever thought. And it was just beautiful that
Speaker 1: he was able to do that on his own. And
Speaker 1: he he asked her right away on the first day
Speaker 1: to didn't He ask her how many matches she got
Speaker 1: and she's like, I got three, And he goes, I
Speaker 1: got one, and she goes, oh, that's interesting. She's just
Speaker 1: too so. She wasn't like, you only got one, Oh
Speaker 1: you're not as valuable. She didn't judge it. She was
Speaker 1: just like, interesting. It was just so cute. I love
Speaker 1: that show so much. If if I hadn't sold you
Speaker 1: on that show. Yet what do you I mean, what
Speaker 1: you even listened to this? I thought the show was
Speaker 1: a different show for something. There was a one where
Speaker 1: they went on a dating around New Orleans. That's what
Speaker 1: I thought, dating around, That's what I thought that show was.
Speaker 1: So that's why I never checked. You believe you haven't
Speaker 1: seen the first season. It's my favorite show. I think
Speaker 1: it's my favorite show that's ever been better than Veep.
Speaker 1: It's just heartwarming, so beautifully shot and just um my buddy,
Speaker 1: he brought up, He's like I finally watched started watching
Speaker 1: Ted lad So and I was like, oh you like that.
Speaker 1: There's not a show love on the spectrum. And then
Speaker 1: I described he goes those shows have nothing like are
Speaker 1: both so heartwarming? They are doing me to do my
Speaker 1: ted Lasso as we get into the news, Uh, never
Speaker 1: went over your bumble though the dating night. I'll save
Speaker 1: it for a final. Okay, this is my ted Lasso
Speaker 1: beginning the theme song. Whenever I'm watching Ted Lasso and
Speaker 1: like anyone asked me a question like hey, will you
Speaker 1: grab me as ZV, I'm like he I'm thinking of
Speaker 1: the sound like it sounds like a horse, like losing
Speaker 1: its virginity. I'm out all right, apparently here we go.
Speaker 1: Sound like that. That's great for something. Um, you're already
Speaker 1: here first. I hope you're having All the swells out
Speaker 1: there are gonna have a great weekend. It's pretty much
Speaker 1: the last weekend for you to jump on a boat,
Speaker 1: go out with your friends. I don't know climate change
Speaker 1: is really keeping things. There was a dy degrees here yesterday.
Speaker 1: It was nuts. Probably got three more months to get
Speaker 1: on a boat. Just you know, let your hair back,
Speaker 1: Get on one of those wakeboards right around the little
Speaker 1: big get on a tube, you know, do stuff or
Speaker 1: don't just go walk your dog around the block. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and look at those people. Yeah, all right. A study, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you can't go on TikTok and watch people, wait
Speaker 1: for it. Hell yeah, dude, parks bonifit forever. I don't
Speaker 1: know what that's for people out there. Okay. A study
Speaker 1: declares that a horny chimp masturbating with a manmade sex
Speaker 1: toy a discarded plastic bottle, could be the first So
Speaker 1: a chimp recently started having sex. Good news about plastics
Speaker 1: entering the environment. Yeah, recycling by putting on a monkey
Speaker 1: a cock sleeve or of Okay, So, oh my god,
Speaker 1: there's like a drawing the monkey using the plastic bottle.
Speaker 1: What wasn't what I wonder if it was like a
Speaker 1: m how big monkey penises? Are we talking like a
Speaker 1: or a gatorade or like a vitamin water? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: Gatoray Vitamin want is probably similar. But I heard of
Speaker 1: one using like a frog before, like a frog's mouth.
Speaker 1: Oh who did that? I don't know. I just like
Speaker 1: I think if it's either an old wives, an old
Speaker 1: chimp's tail or I just remember there's some like there's
Speaker 1: some video of it or something I did not. I
Speaker 1: don't want to see that. That sounds like so sad
Speaker 1: could have been into it. But this is the best
Speaker 1: plastics news I've heard ever, Like there's no good things
Speaker 1: coming out of plastics being in the world. Well there's.
Speaker 1: You know what's nice is they're going to bottle this
Speaker 1: and sell it on Is it? Does it? Is it
Speaker 1: fat burning and carbon carb killing? It kills carb from
Speaker 1: the St. Louis Zoo to your child's mouth. Okay. Much
Speaker 1: like humans, male apes are more apt to masturbate during
Speaker 1: times of stress or when they're unable to find a
Speaker 1: mate to help them relive. Relieve their RELI and yeah,
Speaker 1: there are also no into forge for paraphernalia to assist
Speaker 1: with self pleasures, such as leaves, fruit and other organic objects. Oh,
Speaker 1: they pull a little call me by your name. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll have sex with a peach act. Uh, that's something
Speaker 1: you can complement your platonic friend for doing. For twenty
Speaker 1: five seconds he made pelvic thrusting movements into the bottle
Speaker 1: how many seconds which he had positioned flat on the
Speaker 1: ground in front of him. I'm telling you we laugh
Speaker 1: at these monkeys, right like, Oh, I can't believe this
Speaker 1: monkey is doing that. We do it every day we
Speaker 1: were I'm not laughing. I think we're impressed that monkeys
Speaker 1: are using tools to masturbate. Like I think it's like
Speaker 1: a anthropological or like whatever it is to study chips.
Speaker 1: I think that Jane Goodall would be like, you know,
Speaker 1: really excited about this, not like being like what I do.
Speaker 1: We put a pocket pussy in the middle of the
Speaker 1: Amazon and sees what's see what happens? If I had
Speaker 1: a pet chimp, I would absolutely buy them sex toys
Speaker 1: and things to fuck. But then people would put that
Speaker 1: on you, like why are you doing that to the
Speaker 1: monk and sexualizing the monkey. Why are you jerking off
Speaker 1: the monkey? I mean, don't people jerk off horses to
Speaker 1: get horse? Come? Well, I told you that those dogs
Speaker 1: would get jerked off. There was a person's it would
Speaker 1: jerk off the dog until right before it came in.
Speaker 1: Where do I sign up? Where do I submit my resume?
Speaker 1: You could just do it right here with Luigi on camera. Well,
Speaker 1: that happened one time accidentally. It wasn't an accident, but
Speaker 1: it absolutely was. I thought I was trying to trick
Speaker 1: his penis into going back in its sheath because it
Speaker 1: was out, and I was using his own paw to
Speaker 1: stimulate around the penis to scare it back in its hole.
Speaker 1: But instead it just caused enough friction that it made
Speaker 1: him splooge luge, luge, splooged. Wait wait what Luigi got
Speaker 1: a red rocket During a podcast taping on Not Safe
Speaker 1: on My Show and Dancing Germaine and Brian Franchie, my
Speaker 1: podcast co host, were like, it was red broke, it's out,
Speaker 1: and I was like, guys, shut up, like I've already
Speaker 1: been told by the vet that his penis, like the
Speaker 1: skin around his penis is too big. The hole is
Speaker 1: too big. It's got cut or something. Um, I don't know,
Speaker 1: like those who had those scissors that caught it that way. No, um,
Speaker 1: it got the whole is too big. So his penis
Speaker 1: like slides his red rocket slides out more than other
Speaker 1: dogs does, and so I was like stop and sometimes
Speaker 1: it just goes back in fast, like if they just
Speaker 1: get on horny. So I took his own paw to
Speaker 1: like tap around his penis to make it scared back
Speaker 1: in so that they would stop being children and being
Speaker 1: like it's red broken the lipstick. So I was like
Speaker 1: took Luigi's own paw and like jerked luis pretty and
Speaker 1: then there's some white stuff that came out of Luigi's
Speaker 1: penis hole, and we all were horrified because I jerked
Speaker 1: my own dog off with his own paw. Case, Claus,
Speaker 1: how many paw did you give the dog? Like it
Speaker 1: literally I was just tapping around it and we were
Speaker 1: laughing because I was like go in, go in, and
Speaker 1: I was just like just I wasn't like doing it hard,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't using my own hand, you know, I
Speaker 1: was using his paw and it just yeah, And I
Speaker 1: wasn't using his nails either. I was using like the
Speaker 1: paw pads so that it wouldn't hurt it or everything. Um,
Speaker 1: and so it just yeah and it um it, it's
Speaker 1: all right. Um. I'm so into hand jobs lately, by
Speaker 1: the way, but like I feel like hand jobs are
Speaker 1: my new anal of Like I can't believe I'm doing
Speaker 1: them all the time. Not all the time, but like
Speaker 1: they're my favorite thing. You just like feeling a cock
Speaker 1: in your hand, well, you know, like I usually like
Speaker 1: to lay back and just get it, you know, like
Speaker 1: have someone do stuff to me and I do nothing,
Speaker 1: Like I just like to have my vagina just like
Speaker 1: worked on while I do nothing. Right. Um, And then
Speaker 1: I realized, like I want to be that. I like
Speaker 1: that doesn't always have to just be me doing nothing.
Speaker 1: Like I like the idea of my partner laying back
Speaker 1: and doing nothing while I just do give him like
Speaker 1: a happy ending and like he literally just like sits
Speaker 1: back and it's just like he's laying out in the
Speaker 1: sun and I just use a lot of lube and
Speaker 1: just I get to just and I'm just doing whatever
Speaker 1: i want and I'm just like playing with it, like
Speaker 1: and it just there's no like pressure on me to
Speaker 1: be like this needs to be like he does it
Speaker 1: or he and like I have gotten feedback of like
Speaker 1: that is was is amazing. Do you play like musus
Speaker 1: like we just like talk and like it's really like
Speaker 1: it's it's weird. There's like more eye contact, it's like
Speaker 1: more connected. It's like it's really, um no, we are
Speaker 1: going to incorporate that. I'm gonna try. Um, I have
Speaker 1: analgene that I might be able to fit him inside.
Speaker 1: The next story, there was a guerrilla going down on
Speaker 1: another grilla at a zoo the other day in front
Speaker 1: of kids. It's pretty amazing to learn about the birds
Speaker 1: and the beds from a guerrilla. I mean they were
Speaker 1: probably just laughing being like you it's eating, it's you know,
Speaker 1: like it's probably like it's eating it's poopoo or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I hope kids don't
Speaker 1: know what that is. Like, I hope a kid wasn't
Speaker 1: like mom, that girl is going down giving oral like
Speaker 1: he knows way too. That's hilarious. That is fucking funny. Andrew,
Speaker 1: thanks Nick. All right. So the next story, Britney Spears
Speaker 1: celebrates the end of her father Jamie's thirteen year conservators
Speaker 1: by going up in a plane for the first time.
Speaker 1: Can I tell you something though, what I what I
Speaker 1: think if the theory the conspiracy that they control her Instagram,
Speaker 1: if it went from her showing her tits and dancing
Speaker 1: to her now she flies a plane, like are we
Speaker 1: gonna get it? Is the future, Britney spears is like
Speaker 1: next she's doing physics, like she's done like showing her
Speaker 1: body because brit is going to k Yeah, this girl, Britney,
Speaker 1: She's going to be like at a chalkboard, like goodwill hunting,
Speaker 1: solving some kind of equation. It's problem. Listen, you're making
Speaker 1: it sound like a woman who shows her tips also
Speaker 1: can't fly a plane. And we know that's true, so
Speaker 1: we already know that's true. I'm gonna have at that.
Speaker 1: But it is. It is interesting, like she's man, she's
Speaker 1: every woman. I love that she's taking flying. She's I'm
Speaker 1: a little worried that I don't know that she's someone
Speaker 1: I would trust flying me around. I'm just saying I'm
Speaker 1: certain people are good at certain things. I would not
Speaker 1: have thought she was good at like math things, But
Speaker 1: my my, I guess which I think you have to be,
Speaker 1: like very good at math? But now that conservatives you
Speaker 1: know that word which I probably shouldn't have one because
Speaker 1: I can't say that word. Um, that proves that you
Speaker 1: need one. If they just go pronounced this word, they
Speaker 1: go conservatives, I take my money. Um No. But maybe
Speaker 1: like in three months from now we go. You know what,
Speaker 1: maybe that Brittey Spears always was a pilot, like now
Speaker 1: that it's over, so maybe we're judging her. I know
Speaker 1: a lot about our girl Britt in terms of like
Speaker 1: the book she reads, like the things she likes, and
Speaker 1: I just and I remember watching a video recently where
Speaker 1: she was like talking about and she was homeschooled, Like
Speaker 1: maybe she was really into math and like technical things,
Speaker 1: but I would I think that she's more an artistic person.
Speaker 1: And I just know that if she were my friend
Speaker 1: and we're like I just learned how to flat plane,
Speaker 1: like will you come up there with me? Like I
Speaker 1: would not like Carlisle take me in a plane, even
Speaker 1: if carl I was like Nikki, I've been learning and
Speaker 1: Carlos smart as funk, but not in that way. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't trust me. And I had a friend who couldn't
Speaker 1: drive stick shift and like he literally couldn't he he
Speaker 1: always stalled out, even though he bought, uh, some kind
Speaker 1: of doesn't mean she's dumb one. And I also said
Speaker 1: we should all challenge ourselves to do things that are
Speaker 1: scary to us. But I also said, don't do what
Speaker 1: things if they mean that you might die. So I'm
Speaker 1: standing by the fact that I don't want to fly
Speaker 1: with Britney Spears. I'll fly with it, but I do
Speaker 1: have to say that I was scared to scuba dive
Speaker 1: at one point, and I was going to Thailand to
Speaker 1: visit my ex boyfriend, and I was trying to be
Speaker 1: like adventurous girl and also I did I love the ocean.
Speaker 1: That didn't interest me to learn. But I also was
Speaker 1: like that is something for like really technical people, people
Speaker 1: that are good with math, and like, yeah, at least
Speaker 1: I just assume that there's tanks, there's like a lot
Speaker 1: of like equipment, you know, and I'm just very simple,
Speaker 1: like you're dead sure, Like there's a lot of you
Speaker 1: were scared to do it too, scared um. But I
Speaker 1: saw that Paris Hilton was able to do it, and
Speaker 1: I knew that I have the same kind of brain
Speaker 1: as her, and I was like, Okay, if she's able
Speaker 1: to do it. I can learn to. And so are
Speaker 1: you taking flying lessons? Is that what you're saying. No,
Speaker 1: I don't have an interest in flying. But if I did,
Speaker 1: and I saw that Britney could do it, I'd say
Speaker 1: I I think that maybe she. I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: just like I. I could do fly. I bet I
Speaker 1: could fly plane, but I just wouldn't I would trust
Speaker 1: myself to fly plane with my No, I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: trust myself. I don't know what I'm saying. I could
Speaker 1: see you flying a plane and I'm proud of our girl.
Speaker 1: You're just cuddling up in the chair sleeping. I'm like, Nikki,
Speaker 1: you gotta you're you gotta wake up. I know I
Speaker 1: planes make me too sleepy. That would fall asleep with
Speaker 1: the sounds. Just be the autopilot, and I just I
Speaker 1: can't be in that much control it gives. It gives
Speaker 1: me too. But maybe I would be good at that
Speaker 1: because I do love to drive when you know, I
Speaker 1: like being in control obviously, all right? Next story Angelina
Speaker 1: Joe Lee and the Weekend. I know fuel dating rumors
Speaker 1: with another dinner date. No, I don't like this. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I've heard the weekends like not a nice guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I used to walk dogs in the building he lived
Speaker 1: in and he I think where did I hear that? Though,
Speaker 1: Like I'm just saying, like maybe from me from this
Speaker 1: maybe No I've heard like not, I've just like, I
Speaker 1: would not want my friend to date the weekend based
Speaker 1: on things that I don't even remember where I heard them.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna say I plead actually ignorance on this
Speaker 1: and that unless I have my facts straight, I'm happy
Speaker 1: for her. Well, I can tell you just being in
Speaker 1: his uh like in the lobby at the same time,
Speaker 1: the same lobby as the weekend. Now, granted this isn't
Speaker 1: I'm not allegedly I feel this way. No, I could
Speaker 1: feel like an aura of dick holeness from him, but
Speaker 1: he could just be a serious guy. Things very serious,
Speaker 1: but you know, seriously, Yeah, he was in the lobby
Speaker 1: and they were setting up the paparazzi photos and they
Speaker 1: were waiting for the paparazzi to show up so that
Speaker 1: they could walk out, And then I walked down. I
Speaker 1: got in US magazine. Yeah, you're in that looking like
Speaker 1: Bigfoot in the background. That's a great shot. You gotta
Speaker 1: put that on your Instagram did honestly remind people that
Speaker 1: it's so funny, But um, Angelina's only I just want
Speaker 1: her to be with someone that, you know what. She
Speaker 1: she's a badass bitch, and I know she's doing things
Speaker 1: that are only good for her right now and her family.
Speaker 1: So I actually trust that this is the right move
Speaker 1: for her. And you know, I just I thought she
Speaker 1: was older than six. But I thought she was older
Speaker 1: because she had six kids. I don't know her, however,
Speaker 1: she's been famous for so long that you think that
Speaker 1: she's probably famous in her mid to late twenties. Now,
Speaker 1: she's been famous since she was like eighteen, probably, But
Speaker 1: I guess you know, you date someone you have six
Speaker 1: kids already, you just want to have fun. You suck
Speaker 1: the weekend on. He's thirty one. It would be kind
Speaker 1: of hot, like a little yeah, you know, freaking Mrs
Speaker 1: Robinson kind of thing. And you know what, I bet
Speaker 1: that whatever he might, whatever stories I might have heard
Speaker 1: about him in relationships with other women, he might not.
Speaker 1: There's certain women that these kind of guys or I'm
Speaker 1: not I feel like I heard that he was just
Speaker 1: like not that kind to his girlfriend's maybe like just
Speaker 1: emotionally or something in the in different lobbies. And I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm basing this off of, So this
Speaker 1: could be completely I could be talking about the week day.
Speaker 1: It could have been like the guy that wrote that
Speaker 1: coming up on a Tuesday song. I could be conflating this,
Speaker 1: So just let me know that, like I don't ever
Speaker 1: go off of like Nikki Glazer said, the weekend sucks.
Speaker 1: I don't know where I'm getting this from, but let's
Speaker 1: say he does. Let's say we live in a world
Speaker 1: where he does suck. I think that sometimes those kinds
Speaker 1: of guys can be with a woman that like Angelia
Speaker 1: and Julie and they'll treat her like a She would
Speaker 1: never know that until way down the line, when like,
Speaker 1: sometimes guys don't become the worst versions of themselves in
Speaker 1: a relationship until like I've heard about guys were like
Speaker 1: I got a girl that I know dated this guy
Speaker 1: who was like so emotionally and verbally abusive to her
Speaker 1: that I mean, I couldn't even look at this guy
Speaker 1: in the face when I would run into him in public.
Speaker 1: And then he ended up they broke up, Thank god,
Speaker 1: she got away. He ends up dating this woman who
Speaker 1: is super famous and who I know. He puts on
Speaker 1: a pedestal and he's a he's a fucking prince. And
Speaker 1: I hear her talk about him, and it's like, that
Speaker 1: is not the same guy, and she probably won't see
Speaker 1: that version of that guy until it's until a long ways. No,
Speaker 1: not in the time that this guy took in between girls. No,
Speaker 1: he can't. But maybe but maybe, um, but maybe he
Speaker 1: did like eighteen times Ascaska eighteen times or something on them.
Speaker 1: They could just like The Weekend wants to he's producing
Speaker 1: now the show on HBO. Yeah, I don't know. All right,
Speaker 1: let's get let's take a quick break and come back
Speaker 1: with why do I care? Sp Oh sports? Alright, it's
Speaker 1: our weekly sports moment. Oh boy, are you sitting now?
Speaker 1: I'm Nikki. Yeah, I always am. Well, get up because
Speaker 1: you're gonna get excited for this one. Okay, here's Andrew's
Speaker 1: weekly sports moment. Oh boy, she's up, folks, She's ready.
Speaker 1: The St. Louis Cardinals. Oh yeah, what did we did?
Speaker 1: We win again? We lost last night? Sit down, Yeah,
Speaker 1: the streak is over. I can stop wearing these underwear. Then.
Speaker 1: I love how comfortable our little chairs are because it
Speaker 1: takes us like seconds to get up and we're really
Speaker 1: sunken in these things. Um. Yeah, So they lost it
Speaker 1: to Brewers seventeen games in a row, which is the
Speaker 1: longest streak from a National league since nine So we
Speaker 1: damn well that is a huge accomplishment. God damn at
Speaker 1: those fucking Brewers. I do feel like if you're dating
Speaker 1: a man who's a big Cardinals fan, sex is gonna
Speaker 1: be better during a nice streak, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like things that are gonna all gonna be be nicer
Speaker 1: when when their team's winning. I feel like, if you
Speaker 1: out there, when did they lose? What time? Last night?
Speaker 1: Because I was with a Cardinals fan last night and
Speaker 1: the mood shifted at one point, And I wonder it's
Speaker 1: because if you looked at the phone and looked at
Speaker 1: the square, are you paying attention to the game? Were
Speaker 1: you at all invested in this? No? I was invest
Speaker 1: I'm only not invested because I'm doing this camera thing,
Speaker 1: But I um, I generally would. I was very I
Speaker 1: love a good street. Who doesn't love a streak? Everyone loves?
Speaker 1: I mean the Maggio fifty six games in a row,
Speaker 1: he hits safely snatchat for some reason. They actually they're
Speaker 1: algorithms supports. Like they did a thing called streaks, were
Speaker 1: like every day you you talk to someone, and then
Speaker 1: if you talk like they go like two days streak.
Speaker 1: You guys have messaged each other, and it keeps people
Speaker 1: wanting to keep streaks live. So it keeps people on
Speaker 1: the app because people love streaks. Oh my god, so
Speaker 1: we're probably at like thirty what do you mean our
Speaker 1: streak of talking to each other not on Snapchat but
Speaker 1: just in real life. I think we skipped a couple
Speaker 1: of days last year. Yeah, maybe, yeah, we were. We
Speaker 1: had some We've read some pretty good streaks though, we did.
Speaker 1: We definitely have, do you Yeah? I wonder like if
Speaker 1: if we could take a poll of like different sports. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they always stay on the super Bowl. It's like when
Speaker 1: domestic violence goes up because teams lose. Like it's like
Speaker 1: you've never heard that. Oh yeah, I mean men's attitudes
Speaker 1: are really they're they're very much. Uh. That's why I
Speaker 1: said when Norm McDonald died, like reach out to the
Speaker 1: the middle aged white men in your life, because I
Speaker 1: haven't met one that doesn't love Norm McDonald and he's
Speaker 1: probably suffering today and thus people in his life will
Speaker 1: suffer because he's in so much pain that he might
Speaker 1: not be able to express because he's the middle aged
Speaker 1: white man, you know, like and especially like Yeah, sports,
Speaker 1: you guys put so much. I mean some days you
Speaker 1: go out and play golf, and if you have like
Speaker 1: a little off of a day, I can sense it,
Speaker 1: Like everything in the way you close a cabinet like
Speaker 1: impacts you. But the same way that I sleep at
Speaker 1: night sometimes in fact, like I'll think about why I
Speaker 1: wasn't good, But what about a team losing? Have you
Speaker 1: ever but affected that way? No, I've never been like, uh,
Speaker 1: one of these because you know what it is. I
Speaker 1: think like if you're raised in a city, like if
Speaker 1: I was raised here in St. Louis, would be a
Speaker 1: Cardinals guy. But I was raised two hours away from
Speaker 1: big sports teams in Florida, so I didn't. I kind
Speaker 1: of was a Heat fan, and I was kind of
Speaker 1: a Magic fan. I was a Dog fan and a
Speaker 1: little bit of a Tampa Bay Bucks fan. So you
Speaker 1: don't like rest all of it on one team, so
Speaker 1: you always have another one that might be it helps
Speaker 1: to be from that city, you know, people, Look, that's
Speaker 1: my city. That's my city on my back kind of thing. Swifties, Uh,
Speaker 1: we we get very invested and not so much me,
Speaker 1: but the community gets very invested in like Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: winning like the kids Toy Awards and you have to vote,
Speaker 1: and if she doesn't win, they're like, like they read
Speaker 1: it like very upset on her BF and I don't.
Speaker 1: She's the only thing that I can think of that
Speaker 1: I care about as much as men care about sports,
Speaker 1: and I don't feel like if something, you know, if
Speaker 1: she got pregnant. Honestly, I might react like the Cardinals
Speaker 1: lost the streak, because for me, that's going to make
Speaker 1: her go off on a path that I can't relate to,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be a little bit devastating. That's gonna
Speaker 1: end my stew months from them, I know, I'll be
Speaker 1: like I I honestly I might be open to it.
Speaker 1: At Taylor there was a picture of Taylor Swift though
Speaker 1: at Lena Denham's wedding. It's just her back and her ponytail,
Speaker 1: because like you know, she's very private. But um, I
Speaker 1: almost bought the dress that she was wearing because I
Speaker 1: follow this account that that posts every single outfit that
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift wears, there will be like a sliver of
Speaker 1: her jeans in a TikTok video that she does, and
Speaker 1: someone will find out the exact kind of gene. Like
Speaker 1: she'll be wearing an earring that you see a second
Speaker 1: of through her her hair, like a part in her hair,
Speaker 1: like a little piece of strand of hair, and they
Speaker 1: will zoom in and find the exact airing. It's amazing
Speaker 1: what this this Instagram account does. So anyway, I before
Speaker 1: I saw the pictures of Lenda Dunham's wedding, I saw,
Speaker 1: uh that this account that tells you what Taylor was
Speaker 1: wearing said that to to Lena Dunham's winning she wore
Speaker 1: this dress and here was the link to the dress,
Speaker 1: and the dress is like seven dollars. But I was like,
Speaker 1: I would love this dress in my life. I would
Speaker 1: keep it forever, Like yeah, it's just like looks like
Speaker 1: like I couldn't really wear it on stage, but it
Speaker 1: would be like just a nice dress to wear and
Speaker 1: dates or like just just a nice dress to have
Speaker 1: weddings of course, and like I never know what to
Speaker 1: wear to wedding, So like if Taylor was wearing its
Speaker 1: wedding it's good. So I was like about to buy it,
Speaker 1: and I go, let me just see what it looks
Speaker 1: like on her, and like because we have a similar body.
Speaker 1: And then I looked at the picture and it was
Speaker 1: what the bridesmaids were all wearing. It wasn't like her,
Speaker 1: so it was just like it was Lena picked it out,
Speaker 1: and I love Lenda Dunham, but I'm not going to
Speaker 1: buy a dress unless Taylor as like, you know, it's
Speaker 1: bride'may dresses are you know, notoriously what the woman wearing
Speaker 1: them does not want to be wearing and just has
Speaker 1: to because it's the bride's choice. It is interesting, like
Speaker 1: anything Taylor wears like that company, we'll have a spike
Speaker 1: in sales and be like, why is my dog bone
Speaker 1: necklace selling? You know what I mean? I mean we
Speaker 1: I don't know the same fashion senses are really like
Speaker 1: I don't love a lot of the things she wears
Speaker 1: just because she's in a different air. I'm like more
Speaker 1: in her lover I want to wear everything she wore
Speaker 1: during her lover era, and now she's in a more
Speaker 1: folklore like she's in love, so she's not doesn't need
Speaker 1: to be like sexual as much. I think maybe that's
Speaker 1: my projection of it, but um, yeah, like I would.
Speaker 1: I bought a necklace in an eighth grade. I asked
Speaker 1: for Christmas a necklace that I saw an Entertainment Weekly
Speaker 1: magazine that Jennifer Anderson was wearing in a picture with
Speaker 1: Brad Pitt and George Clooney that she was at a
Speaker 1: m at a runway show and my and back then,
Speaker 1: it would just say like the designer name, and then
Speaker 1: the cost. It would be like you know, business Jewels,
Speaker 1: sixty five dollars, and I remember we're being like, Mom,
Speaker 1: I want that for Christmas. My mom found the company
Speaker 1: called it and like ordered it like on this, and
Speaker 1: I got the same necklace as Jenniferranston that's in this picture.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what happened to it, but I
Speaker 1: loved it for so long, and so I've always been
Speaker 1: I'm literally wearing I mean, this is pre all this
Speaker 1: ship that came out against Shila buff but you're wearing
Speaker 1: shoes that you saw Jean. I go, what are those nikes?
Speaker 1: And they were all white? And then I found either
Speaker 1: and I got ni, yeah you just know that person
Speaker 1: is cool or yeah, yeah, he's not a woman kicker.
Speaker 1: So those shoes are you know they're flush free. Let's
Speaker 1: get to fan trax Jesus Christ Tope love it. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I just saw that I got the song
Speaker 1: sent to me, the finished song. Oh. Very excited. Let's
Speaker 1: get the fan tracks though. Let's get to our first
Speaker 1: voice moment whatever it is. Okay, So our first message
Speaker 1: is from Lauren, who lives in St. Louis my sister.
Speaker 1: Uh different Lauren, she don't even have your numb I
Speaker 1: haven't heard from Lauren in so long. I very excited. Hey, Nikki, Andrew,
Speaker 1: and Noah, this is Lauren from St. Louis, huge bestie here, UM,
Speaker 1: calling in for a myriad of reasons today, so please
Speaker 1: bear with me. First is I just wanted to say
Speaker 1: thank you, um, thank you three for the unique perspective
Speaker 1: that you bring to this world. You brighten my day,
Speaker 1: you make me laugh, you make me think about things differently. UM.
Speaker 1: I've recently been going back and listening to old episodes
Speaker 1: since I'm all caught up, UM, and I'm absolutely obsessed
Speaker 1: with each of you, and equally so thank you. Second,
Speaker 1: I was at the show this weekend. You absolutely killed it,
Speaker 1: Nikki and Andrew, so amazing job. It was my first
Speaker 1: show seeing both of you, so I was really grateful
Speaker 1: for that, and till has been raving about you. And
Speaker 1: then thirdly, so funny little story. Um, I sat next
Speaker 1: to your second grade teacher at the show so quickly
Speaker 1: realized that and was jotting down notes of different things
Speaker 1: she was telling me about you, um, which I'm a
Speaker 1: huge fan, so I was seeking out majorly and was
Speaker 1: planning to tell you everything she shared with me, But
Speaker 1: as we both know, she stood up during the show
Speaker 1: and shared it with the entire crew podcast. Yes, it
Speaker 1: reminds me of something that you said a very long
Speaker 1: time ago, which was the audience will remember the beginning,
Speaker 1: the end and whatever made them uncomfortable. Hears to that
Speaker 1: and don't be guys, Lauren, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: going to the show. I mean, she is I mean,
Speaker 1: can we can you believe we have fans that are
Speaker 1: that sweet? Can hang out with Lauren? Can we be friends?
Speaker 1: Let's be friends? Dude? That is so freaking nice. Um.
Speaker 1: Mrs Erdmann was there. My second grade teacher did interrupt
Speaker 1: the show and I was talking about like I was
Speaker 1: a dork in high school, Like I know you guys
Speaker 1: all think I'm like some like slut that like got
Speaker 1: around and this is Erdmann. All of a sudden goes,
Speaker 1: I know I was your teacher, and I was like,
Speaker 1: who what teacher? She was like your second grade teacher,
Speaker 1: and I was like, and I couldn't remember her name.
Speaker 1: I knew it started with an E. And also she
Speaker 1: got married and changed her name like halfway through, and
Speaker 1: I thought, honestly, she did not look anything like the
Speaker 1: woman I remember. Um, And she said that, I go,
Speaker 1: did you remember me or did you like actually, like,
Speaker 1: because it's that was that was a long time ago.
Speaker 1: Do you really remember You've been teaching this whole time?
Speaker 1: Like it's funny that she like found a way to
Speaker 1: get She said, um, that I was very shy, and
Speaker 1: that that we had to do a poetry slam or something,
Speaker 1: and that I asked my mom if she could write
Speaker 1: it for me, and my mom called the school to
Speaker 1: talk to her. Anyway. She had a lot to say,
Speaker 1: but she was just taking a long time to say it.
Speaker 1: So it was I honestly, it was a little uncomfortable
Speaker 1: at times because she was like I was, I wanted
Speaker 1: to know what she remembered about me, because I don't
Speaker 1: even remember anything about me back then, And I was
Speaker 1: just like, let's just get her backstage so like she
Speaker 1: can tell me afterwards. And um, I wasn't able to
Speaker 1: talk to her after the show, but I did connect
Speaker 1: with her on Instagram and I'm going to have her
Speaker 1: on the show to ask her a couple of questions
Speaker 1: about what I was like, because I go, did you
Speaker 1: really remember me? Or are you just now remembering me
Speaker 1: because you know that like I'm famous, and so you
Speaker 1: like are making false memories to be like, oh I
Speaker 1: remember her and have all these stories like was I
Speaker 1: actually make an imprint on you then? Because I just
Speaker 1: thought it was like a nothing, like you have a
Speaker 1: different name and I don't recognize you know, she definitely
Speaker 1: was my teacher. It was really cool. Um, let's get
Speaker 1: to the next story. Thank you so much Lauren for
Speaker 1: going to the show and saying such nice things. Next
Speaker 1: voice message is from making it. Come to the show
Speaker 1: in Atlanta on Saturday. Yeah, we have a show in
Speaker 1: Atlanta that tickets are still available for a second show,
Speaker 1: So if you know anyone in Atlanta, send them to
Speaker 1: our show ten thirty at the some place in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: Niki Layer at com Theater. Okay, here's Megan. You're like,
Speaker 1: all right, Hi, Nikki, Andrew Noah. My name is Megan.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty four. I'm from Seattle. I'm pretty new to
Speaker 1: this podcast, but I became obsessed right away because I
Speaker 1: listened to a ton of podcasts, and this one I
Speaker 1: relate to more than any other podcast I've listened to,
Speaker 1: and you guys are obviously hilarious. I really wanted to
Speaker 1: come on here and be the person who was like,
Speaker 1: I've been listening from the very beginning, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But I honestly think I found you in the exact
Speaker 1: perfect time in my life, because I've always had kind
Speaker 1: of a drinking problem, and I think I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: been ready or have wanted to hear some of the
Speaker 1: things that you've said about so bri d. But in
Speaker 1: recent months, I've come to the realization that I need
Speaker 1: to change something or quit and I just did not
Speaker 1: know how. And when I started listening to the podcast,
Speaker 1: I felt like you talked about how amazing sobriety is.
Speaker 1: And when you brought up the Alan carbook, I ordered
Speaker 1: it Amazon overnight delivery and I read it in one
Speaker 1: day and I'm two weeks sober now, and I just
Speaker 1: feel like happy and free and I don't know if
Speaker 1: that urged should drink and um yeah, and I'm just
Speaker 1: super thankful. Thank you for everything you do. UM, I
Speaker 1: love you guys, Megan, thank you so much for sharing that.
Speaker 1: I know that that voice message is going to like
Speaker 1: reach someone who needs it, and like you just did
Speaker 1: a great service by like by calling and doing that,
Speaker 1: Like that wasn't just for us, but that I know
Speaker 1: one her, at least one person is going to hear
Speaker 1: that and be like that girl like sounds like she
Speaker 1: was really dependent on drinking and probably never wanted to quit,
Speaker 1: and yet she is feeling happy and free and she
Speaker 1: read that book. Maybe I can do it. Um, thank
Speaker 1: you for everything you said, especially the part about like
Speaker 1: you're you felt a little weird about being late to
Speaker 1: the show, but now like sometimes you're not ready to
Speaker 1: hear like you know, I I am reluctant to go, oh,
Speaker 1: get this book. Drinking is being sobers great spreading that message,
Speaker 1: because that can really deter someone because I used to
Speaker 1: never want to. I knew that stuff was out there.
Speaker 1: I knew the answer was out there, but I didn't
Speaker 1: want to hear it because I just wasn't ready. And
Speaker 1: sometimes you're not ready. I've said before, like you'll you'll
Speaker 1: never want to quit drinking. It's always like, especially if
Speaker 1: you love drinking so much, it's it's always going to
Speaker 1: be a struggle. But sometimes you're you want to be
Speaker 1: open to the idea of a life without it. And
Speaker 1: I think that's where you came in with that openness,
Speaker 1: and maybe you weren't there before. And thank you for
Speaker 1: trusting and for ordering that book and for like spending
Speaker 1: money on this wild idea that you could read a
Speaker 1: book and not want to do this thing that you
Speaker 1: reallyize so much on because it really does work. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, so I'm so happy for you to
Speaker 1: be free of that of drinking. And it's there's a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff ahead for you because as someone who's
Speaker 1: coming up on ten years in December, like it both
Speaker 1: gets easier and harder, but harder in ways that you
Speaker 1: can now manage much easier because you're not drunk. And
Speaker 1: so um, just if you ever need a boost of
Speaker 1: encouragement or those voices start creeping up again that you
Speaker 1: know tell you that oh it's normal, it's I can
Speaker 1: just have one all those things. Maybe that is true
Speaker 1: for them, or maybe it's true for you. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but um, listen back to your message that you left us, like,
Speaker 1: I hope that you save this this UM podcast because
Speaker 1: you're in a place right now that you can stay
Speaker 1: in if you want. And I just needed to hear
Speaker 1: that too, because when I just recently stopped smoking pot,
Speaker 1: and there have been times recently. I ran into a
Speaker 1: freshly packed bowl in my desk the other day and
Speaker 1: it smelled good, and I was anxious, and I was like,
Speaker 1: it would be so easy. This is almost a sign
Speaker 1: from God that I should. And then I was like,
Speaker 1: just remember how good it feels, like all the times
Speaker 1: that you felt so good that you're not doing it
Speaker 1: all the benefits, And I thought about that page I
Speaker 1: wrote down in my journal of all the bad things
Speaker 1: about pot, and like the things that pot takes away
Speaker 1: from my life so much that my hand was hurting,
Speaker 1: and I never even got to the list of good
Speaker 1: things that Pott did. And I was just like, you didn't, yeah,
Speaker 1: well that that those pages and I didn't even to
Speaker 1: go back and see them, the fact that they existed,
Speaker 1: and I knew that at one point I was able
Speaker 1: to make two or three pages of listing of things
Speaker 1: that pot is bad for made me close that drawer.
Speaker 1: I didn't throw it away, so it's and don't write
Speaker 1: to me and say, Nikki, go throw that away. Listen.
Speaker 1: I almost like having like the opportunity to do it
Speaker 1: and choosing not to. And I could go back and
Speaker 1: do it if I want to, Like, relapse is a
Speaker 1: part of recovery, um, But for today, I know that
Speaker 1: like I've done the work to remind myself of all
Speaker 1: the things that takes from me. And I hope that
Speaker 1: you return to that voice memo and I hope that's
Speaker 1: your version of like the the journal, anything you like
Speaker 1: to add, and I think you you nailed it all.
Speaker 1: I just think, thanks for being honest and thanks for
Speaker 1: listening and and I don't know, it's just very touching.
Speaker 1: Like I literally, if I wasn't wearing any sunglasses, you
Speaker 1: would probably see a little bit of crust I'm sleeping
Speaker 1: that you didn't wipe out. No, that's sweet, and like, no,
Speaker 1: it means a lot. I know, I got chills all
Speaker 1: over my body and I have to go shave my
Speaker 1: legs again because I just grew some hair from from
Speaker 1: that voice memo. No, let's take us into final thought.
Speaker 1: Do we have one more? Yeah? All right, here's a
Speaker 1: message from Chloe. Hey, I love the podcast. Um, I
Speaker 1: just realized something really embarrassing and I thought you guys
Speaker 1: would appreciate it. Um. So, I just recently like started
Speaker 1: dating someone and like they just spent the weekend at
Speaker 1: my place for the first time, and I was recently
Speaker 1: catching up on run the weekend getting too I Do,
Speaker 1: and left it out on my desk, and he definitely
Speaker 1: saw it, Like he definitely went to put his stuff
Speaker 1: down on the desk and saw a book that says
Speaker 1: getting to I Do with a huge fucking like Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm kind of mortified. I don't know, it's just
Speaker 1: really cringe really, I don't know. Okay, make me feel better, Chloe,
Speaker 1: you didn't do anything wrong. The book cover sucks. Um. Also,
Speaker 1: just the more comfort, like if this guy stops hanging
Speaker 1: out with you wasn't meant to be, Like anyone who
Speaker 1: sees that book, it's definitely like, definitely kind of scary
Speaker 1: for certain guys. You can just say, I think you've
Speaker 1: seen a book on my desk and I'm mortified that
Speaker 1: you saw it. Let me just tell you, I listened
Speaker 1: to this podcast and this girl is always talking about
Speaker 1: this book about like that's taught her how to really
Speaker 1: respect herself. But the title is embarrassing, and she always
Speaker 1: told me to get a book cover and I just
Speaker 1: hadn't gotten around to it. I'm really reading this book
Speaker 1: because I'm learning to love myself. I promise you this
Speaker 1: is not I'm not one of these women in a
Speaker 1: Nora Ephron film who's trying to like trick a man
Speaker 1: into loving me. I'm having a great time with you.
Speaker 1: And also maybe I don't know know it. Maybe don't
Speaker 1: say fucking anything and just be, uh, what do you think?
Speaker 1: I think? Just let it be, and if it comes
Speaker 1: up in the future, then say exactly what Nikki said
Speaker 1: or maybe even more depending how open you you guys are.
Speaker 1: Book should have a chapter about if a man sees
Speaker 1: you reading this book, what to say. She should buy
Speaker 1: another book that has a tight like I just want
Speaker 1: to blow you all the time and never commit. That
Speaker 1: should be the fake cover. It comes with, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm dating lots of men and I'm a prize and
Speaker 1: I don't need any one man in my life and
Speaker 1: you need to prove your worth before you fuck me.
Speaker 1: That's what it says. That's a scarier book titled than
Speaker 1: getting Do I do? Let me, Let me guarantee you
Speaker 1: it is not men. If you value yourself and say
Speaker 1: I don't fun guys that aren't like really special, they'll
Speaker 1: try if they want to fuck you, they'll get really
Speaker 1: special and they'll be like, wow, I want to. We
Speaker 1: always want the thing that will make us feel like
Speaker 1: we're special. So if you value yourself and like think
Speaker 1: of yourself as a prize, that guy is gonna want
Speaker 1: to do what he can to earn you, just like
Speaker 1: you're gonna do what you can to earn him, which
Speaker 1: is read a book about how to trick him into
Speaker 1: loving you. I mean, I think it's a pretty quick
Speaker 1: test to figure out who you're getting, you know, who
Speaker 1: you're ending up with, You know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: how great of a test to be, like, oh, here's
Speaker 1: a book out if you run, fuck you If you're
Speaker 1: stay okay, that's a great sign to keep going. You know, Well,
Speaker 1: what did you feel when you found out that Brenna
Speaker 1: read Why Men Love Bitches? Um? I thought that Uh,
Speaker 1: I didn't even look into it. I didn't even think
Speaker 1: about it exactly. So maybe maybe you were. You know,
Speaker 1: maybe you're doing research about books, dating books that women
Speaker 1: read like he doesn't. He can, he doesn't need to know,
Speaker 1: and just keep following the book and it'll all work
Speaker 1: out despite anything that you may leave out. He's not
Speaker 1: going to think, oh, that behavior must have been chapter four.
Speaker 1: And if he does, that's like, oh, he has like
Speaker 1: weirdos and I bet his friends will be like, dude,
Speaker 1: you gotta fucking run. But like, if you keep following
Speaker 1: the stuff in the book, he can't. He will not
Speaker 1: be able to help himself. He'll still want you, despite
Speaker 1: all of that, to lean into it and buy thirty
Speaker 1: more books. Put him in every room, lean into it.
Speaker 1: And it's really a If anything, this is more of
Speaker 1: a reason to get a kindle or a do a
Speaker 1: digital copy of this book. But I love that man,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for reading these books. What I
Speaker 1: couldn't find her? Did you hear that? Noah, No, I didn't,
Speaker 1: it's not coming through. No. Siri just said sorry, I
Speaker 1: couldn't find hurricane in your music. But if I misspelled it,
Speaker 1: please let me know. I wait, did you said hurricane?
Speaker 1: Seen Unforgivable, that classic YouTube video the black GUYE in
Speaker 1: the woods and it's like black and white and he's like,
Speaker 1: what's the small and I was like, bitch, give me
Speaker 1: a shoulder. I watched it last night. Is so funny.
Speaker 1: Everyone go watch Unforgivable. It's a classic YouTube video and
Speaker 1: it's very aggressive, but it's it's a guy playing a
Speaker 1: funny character. And it was like one of the most
Speaker 1: It was one of the first viral videos. And I
Speaker 1: read the whole history of it last night. I went
Speaker 1: down a worm hole. Anyway, we gotta go. Don't be um.
Speaker 1: Oh day