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Speaker 1: Warning to our listeners. This episode includes some explicit language,

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Speaker 1: so be prepared. Frank Rojas was eleven years old when

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Speaker 1: his older sister Lauda had her quinzianera.

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Speaker 2: She was a little bougie.

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Speaker 3: We did the whole church she had, like the big

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Speaker 3: hall Quinsanetra.

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Speaker 1: He vividly remembers watching his sister in her beautiful green dress,

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Speaker 1: the hair, the makeup.

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Speaker 2: Wow, this is exciting.

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Speaker 1: Everyone showering her with love during this write of passage

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Speaker 1: celebrated by a lot of Latinas, mostly Mexican and Mexican American.

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Speaker 2: When they turned fifteen.

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Speaker 3: As a young boy, I just knew that it was

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Speaker 3: for girls, and it was kind of like this like

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Speaker 3: literal transition into womanhood. I remember of being part of

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Speaker 3: like the planning process with her going downtown La to

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Speaker 3: the Kahonas to like look at dresses, and we're going

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Speaker 3: like to a hair salon and guardina so that she

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Speaker 3: could try out her hair.

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Speaker 1: And that's the thing about Kineses, these parties, they go hard,

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Speaker 1: they are productions, and there's also a strong religious element

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Speaker 1: to them. It's a very big deal for the entire.

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Speaker 3: Family, seeing relatives that traveled all the way from like Sinaloa,

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Speaker 3: from Bakersfield, from Arizona, from la and to see them

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Speaker 3: all dressed up for like.

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Speaker 2: For me, it was like for my sister and like a.

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Speaker 1: True little brother.

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Speaker 2: Fourth grader, Frank.

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Speaker 3: Was all over the place at the party, like a mess,

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Speaker 3: like sweaty. I was running around with cousins.

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Speaker 1: But even at that age, he knew he wasn't like

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Speaker 1: the other boys, that maybe he was gay.

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Speaker 3: I remember I was obsessed with Hillary Duff and having

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Speaker 3: the CD with me at the hall, and I remember

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Speaker 3: like going through the booklet with like my cousin Natalie,

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Speaker 3: who was also a big fan at the time, like

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Speaker 3: the Mexican like the loud banda music was playing and

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Speaker 3: I remember hiding it in like my and my suit jacket.

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Speaker 1: His immediate family made him feel okay, but things didn't

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Speaker 1: feel safe all the time.

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Speaker 3: It wasn't like let me like partake in this in

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Speaker 3: front of everyone.

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Speaker 1: Frank felt that he had to hide certain parts of himself.

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Speaker 3: Even had like an uncle that lived with us from Sinaloa,

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Speaker 3: and I remember my sister she had this like pink

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Speaker 3: Hillow kitty boombox and like listening to it, and I

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Speaker 3: remember that uncle, like walking in and being like, boys

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Speaker 3: don't listen to that. You shouldn't be listening to that.

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Speaker 3: And then I remember that was like the first instance

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Speaker 3: of like I can enjoy these things, but I have

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Speaker 3: to be really really low key and quiet about it.

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Speaker 1: It's moments like this that made Frank retract, and he

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Speaker 1: thought about how much he secretly had wanted this sparkle

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Speaker 1: that his sister had gotten at Hurricane Sianira.

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Speaker 3: I guess I just grew up with knowing that like

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Speaker 3: that wasn't going to be a reality.

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Speaker 1: Guen Sennetta's were not for boys, not straight boys, not

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Speaker 1: queer boys like Frank. Then, almost twenty years later, Frank

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Speaker 1: goes to another Guen Senet and this one really impacts him.

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Speaker 1: It was for his cousin Tito. It was at this

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Speaker 1: Guen Sanette that Frank saw a teenage boy being celebrated

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Speaker 1: like this, a straight teenage boy getting a guin Sannero.

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Speaker 3: Wow, like all these things that I was afraid of.

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Speaker 3: No one was like even caring what they were at

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Speaker 3: my boy cousins Kan say like they were just eating

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Speaker 3: their food, they were catching up with family, they were

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Speaker 3: dressed to impress, and that was it.

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Speaker 1: It's clear that the culture has changed. Boys having gienses

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Speaker 1: is not out of the question anymore. In fact, The

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Speaker 1: New York Times recently did a big cover story about

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Speaker 1: this trend, the Guen Sanneiro's So now, as an adult,

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Speaker 1: Frank has decided he's throwing himself the quintangneta that he

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Speaker 1: always wanted, but it's going to be a little different.

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Speaker 1: It's actually a double ginze, a double fifteen. Frank's coming

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Speaker 1: of age party is happening as he's turning thirty, and

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Speaker 1: now all of Frank's family will be coming to watch

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Speaker 1: him slow dance on the dance floor with his boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: and that doesn't come to him without a little hesitation. Still,

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Speaker 1: Frank wants to have this party where he can be

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Speaker 1: unapologetically queer, where he'll be merging his queer family and

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Speaker 1: his extended blood family together for the first time in

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Speaker 1: a very public but also intimate way.

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Speaker 4: I just want to tell him, they are moamore and

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Speaker 4: you mean the world to me and you're very special.

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Speaker 5: When he first told me that he wanted to have

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Speaker 5: a double kins, I was a little like taken aback

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Speaker 5: because it's not I don't want to say Mormon, but

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Speaker 5: like normally in this culture right.

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Speaker 1: From Pudro Media and r X. It's Latino USA. I'm

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Speaker 1: Maria Jojosa. Today we're taking you to Frank's Double Quinse.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm going to pass the mic over to Frank himself.

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Speaker 3: So I grew up in the South Bay in the

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Speaker 3: city of Gardena, which we call the Freeway City because

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Speaker 3: all the freeways kind of meet there in the middle.

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Speaker 3: I always joked that, like I sleep in Guardina and

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Speaker 3: but like I'm always out and about different parts of

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Speaker 3: La So my parents were always very hard workers. My

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Speaker 3: mom grew up picking fields in the small farming town

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Speaker 3: of Delano in the Central Valley, California and ended up

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Speaker 3: becoming a nurse, an orthopedic nurse. And then my dad

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Speaker 3: came to the States and documented at around ten years

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Speaker 3: old from Sinaloa and ended up becoming a civil engineer.

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Speaker 3: I would see them and I would enjoy them, but

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Speaker 3: like I was always around these two va heat That's

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Speaker 3: who I always talk about, my yeah, yeah, and my home.

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Speaker 3: So I always joked that I was a senora at

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Speaker 3: like twelve years old. Once I grew older into high school,

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Speaker 3: you start learning about yourself. Like all my friends having

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Speaker 3: girlfriends the prom, always going with the girl, which I

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Speaker 3: always I always took the most beautiful girls. You know,

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Speaker 3: I was still gay at the end of the day.

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Speaker 3: I remember making peace with like, okay, like I'm not

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Speaker 3: I'm not gonna like be the guy. But that wasn't

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Speaker 3: even even crossed my line, like I'm gonna marry a

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Speaker 3: girl and make peace with that. I can't be myself.

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Speaker 3: I have to navigate it secretively. It was heard growing

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Speaker 3: up in the closet, especially, you know, thinking of growing

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Speaker 3: up in a super Mexican household in a traditional sense

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 2: When I ultimately came out, I was twenty two. My

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Speaker 2: sister was home.

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Speaker 3: And I remember going into her room and telling her

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Speaker 3: I'm gay, like those words left my mouth, and crying

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Speaker 3: with her, and she's crying with me, and she's like

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Speaker 3: supporting me, and then my mom's crying. She's like, I

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Speaker 3: love you so much. My Dad's like, I love you, dude.

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Speaker 3: My dad's a man. A few words, but he shows

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Speaker 3: it through his love through actions. And then slowly I

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Speaker 3: started coming out to friends. To one of my other

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Speaker 3: good friends, Jlyissa.

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Speaker 6: Frank and I met in college before he was out.

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Speaker 6: We went to his first pride together him and I like,

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Speaker 6: I've seen him through so many phases of this journey

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Speaker 6: and just really blossom and become himself more and more

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Speaker 6: and more as the years have gone on.

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Speaker 3: And so we would joke they would have a double

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Speaker 3: like kinsa that both of us like, I don't know

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Speaker 3: where that joke came from, Like around my twenty ninth birthday,

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Speaker 3: so a year before turning thirty is like when I

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Speaker 3: started revisiting that, Like, wait, like what would that look like?

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Speaker 6: We all have different points in our life where we

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Speaker 6: are coming into ourselves and figuring ourselves out that very

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Speaker 6: rarely happens when you are fifteen. And for him to

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Speaker 6: be doing this and honoring that moment and also doing

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Speaker 6: this with his family and kind of taking a really

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Speaker 6: old tradition that is very typically connected to religion as

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Speaker 6: well and Catholicism. I think when you're a queer person,

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Speaker 6: you have so many different ideas of what family is.

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Speaker 6: I think for a long time, when you're figuring out

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Speaker 6: who you are, you think that you have to do

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Speaker 6: that in different silos, and I think eventually there comes

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Speaker 6: a time where you become so comfortable with yourself that

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Speaker 6: those silos can kind of break down, and those walls

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Speaker 6: can kind of break down, and you look around and

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Speaker 6: it's just like this is all your life.

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Speaker 5: My name is Laura and I am Frank's older sister,

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Speaker 5: only sister.

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Speaker 3: I remember, like my sister. She's like, you owe it

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Speaker 3: to yourself to have this party. She was just like,

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Speaker 3: think of like all those times that like you really

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Speaker 3: wanted to do something and you like chicken out or

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Speaker 3: you had to be low key.

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Speaker 5: When he first told me that he wanted to have

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Speaker 5: a double kinse, I was a little like taken aback,

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Speaker 5: I guess just because it's not I don't want to

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Speaker 5: say normal, but like normally in this culture, right, And

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Speaker 5: I had never heard of one, let alone, you know,

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Speaker 5: for a game man. And then as he started talking

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Speaker 5: about it more, I'm like, you know what, Yeah, it's

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Speaker 5: like the ultimate coming out and it's good that you're

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Speaker 5: celebrating something like that.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I think it was time for me to

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Speaker 3: throw this party to celebrate who I am and experience

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Speaker 3: what I didn't get to experience at fifteen. I think

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Speaker 3: when I was fifteen, I wouldn't have been ready to

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Speaker 3: have this party.

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Speaker 2: I think I would have had it but it wouldn't have.

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Speaker 3: Been I think, as honest as where I'm at right now.

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Speaker 3: I think now that I'm thirty, it made a lot

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Speaker 3: more sense. So it's now the night before my big party,

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Speaker 3: and I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling a bit nervous.

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Speaker 3: It's my family also seeing for the first time, like

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Speaker 3: my gay family, they're accepting. It's just I've never been

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Speaker 3: so forward about my sexual identity in that kind of way.

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Speaker 3: It's part of like taking ownership of it. So I'm

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Speaker 3: a little nervous about that.

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Speaker 2: We're when I have a drag queen. So I'm ready.

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Speaker 2: I'm ready.

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Speaker 3: I'm scared, but that's still not going to stop me

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Speaker 3: of like being ready. Like gwen Sefani said, take a chance,

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Speaker 3: he's stupid. Ho.

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Speaker 1: When we come back, we take you to the night

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Speaker 1: of Frank's double Kinse.

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Speaker 2: Stay with us.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Hey, we're back, and today is the big day.

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Speaker 1: It's Frank Rojas double Kinse, the Quinzianira he wished he

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Speaker 1: had had when he turned fifteen, but he's having it

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Speaker 1: on his thirtieth birthday, his double QUINSANEA. All right, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to pass the mic back to Frank, so he

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Speaker 1: can take us to the party.

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Speaker 3: Okay, So it is the day of my party.

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Speaker 2: Everyone is on their way. I saw the New York

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Speaker 2: Case and all life. They are so annoying for that.

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Speaker 6: They were like we protested the Oh my godness, it.

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Speaker 5: Is my mex friend.

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Speaker 3: How seeing my friend Julyssa first seeing her mother and

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Speaker 3: her sibling and then seeing my idea one of my dias,

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Speaker 3: my my dad's sister show up to like people trinkling

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Speaker 3: in and like, okay, this is like happening. We met

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Speaker 3: this random little gable at a bar attacks and now

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Speaker 3: we're at his party in La. How does that make

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Speaker 3: you feel?

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Speaker 7: I'll take it.

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Speaker 3: And I had asked everyone to come out stylistically like

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Speaker 3: it's funny because I had people like, what do you

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Speaker 3: mean dress up? And I'm like, dress up, Like I

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Speaker 3: want to see people in dresses and suits or whatever

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Speaker 3: you want, whatever dressing up means to you. I just

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Speaker 3: don't want to see jeans and like a T shirt.

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Speaker 2: Let me see your suit.

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Speaker 6: It looks so good.

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Speaker 4: I love it.

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Speaker 7: You could say I got a few tricks up my sleeve.

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Speaker 3: Though, And so the suit that I ended up wearing

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Speaker 3: was this like royal blue inspired but dazzled Juan Gabriel

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Speaker 3: suit with like these like silvery white sequence and dark

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Speaker 3: blues like sequence within like the collar of the suit,

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Speaker 3: like I wanted to keep it like flashy but simple,

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Speaker 3: and so I just paired it with like a white

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Speaker 3: button up, no like tie or anything, and black loafers.

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Speaker 3: Throughout the whole night, I was juggling my tekhana, my

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Speaker 3: black tekana, and my crown that I had also gotten,

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Speaker 3: which like this again, like this silver crown with like

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Speaker 3: the dazzled blue.

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Speaker 2: Jewels all over it.

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Speaker 3: But I think the most important accessory for the night

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Speaker 3: was this gold bracelet that my sister had given me

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Speaker 3: when she got to the hall. It was my great

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Speaker 3: grandmother's bracelet. My great grandmother passed away a week before

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Speaker 3: the party, and we kind of already knew like two

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Speaker 3: weeks before that like her time was coming up. I

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Speaker 3: tried to cancel the party like twice, so emotions were

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Speaker 3: still like a little intense for my family and night.

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Speaker 3: But like my mother, my aunt, my Deolidia, like they

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Speaker 3: all like were like no, like you deserve this party.

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Speaker 2: You deserve to just like she would have wanted this.

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Speaker 3: My great grandmother signified so much you know, and that

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Speaker 3: bracelet is like this family heirloom that has such a story.

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Speaker 3: Back in the day in Sinaloa, she used to clean

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Speaker 3: the house of like this like very rich man and

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Speaker 3: they had like this forbidden love. It was in secret,

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Speaker 3: and so she ends up getting pregnant with this very

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Speaker 3: wealthy man with my grandfather, and they were never able

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Speaker 3: to be together. And so this man engraved my grandfather's

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Speaker 3: name and the date of his birth, and so that

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Speaker 3: bracelet she carried with her for her life until my

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Speaker 3: mother's Kinsgnera. And so sure enough, my sister got the

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Speaker 3: Pulzra this bracelet on her fifteenth and it stayed with

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Speaker 3: her since and carrying it was literally like having her

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Speaker 3: there with me. She would have been so like in

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Speaker 3: her pants suit, her hair would have been dyed cut

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Speaker 3: that like really like oddly specific Senora cut with her

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Speaker 3: clip on pearl earrings and her like little glass of

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Speaker 3: like tequilaalo was like her favorite and I could just

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Speaker 3: hear her call me Poppi. They're like Bapi mikho, like

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Speaker 3: the whole night when I not whena brasoaka, when that

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Speaker 3: is my good friend Ronnie. They're the unofficial high person

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Speaker 3: of the night, Frank, don't be shy girl, this is

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Speaker 3: your party. Ronnie hands me the mic and I'm feeling

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Speaker 3: a little calm now after they are little introduction and

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Speaker 3: I'm about to make a speech, and it feels rewarding

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Speaker 3: seeing everyone just cheering for me and clapping for me.

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Speaker 3: I stumble a bit with my English and my Spanish

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Speaker 3: getting mixed up, and I joke of being a kid,

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Speaker 3: but I just say to the entire room, thank you

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Speaker 3: for beings.

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Speaker 7: Trea p.

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Speaker 3: I say, boys don't have quincignas much less at thirty,

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Speaker 3: but I don't Careles this was gonna Jenny as he escaped,

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Speaker 3: with which I tell everyone that there will be a

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Speaker 3: couple of dances coming up, including el Vals, and that

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Speaker 3: Jenny Rivera will be following it up. Throughout the night,

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Speaker 3: I'm seeing friends singing along two songs. I'm seeing family

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Speaker 3: members dancing, and it just like reminds me of how

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Speaker 3: loved I am at the end of the day.

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Speaker 5: Wow, this this Frank now stepping into his thirties, is,

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Speaker 5: I want to say, not a completely different person, but

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Speaker 5: there's just definitely more layers to this person.

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Speaker 3: I have to say, it was pretty rewarding to have

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Speaker 3: my own sister and my King Sennetta, only because I

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Speaker 3: was a part of hers and to have her be

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Speaker 3: a part of it as we're both adults now felt

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Speaker 3: so special.

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Speaker 5: So now that he's just going into it, I'm so

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Speaker 5: extremely happy for him because I know there's that sometimes

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Speaker 5: that doubt, perhaps in the hesitation, probably what he was

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Speaker 5: experiencing coming and you know, putting this whole thing together.

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Speaker 5: But now there's more confidence, more more security and who

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Speaker 5: he is.

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Speaker 3: One of the more special moments is when I dance

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Speaker 3: with my mom in front of everyone. I chose for

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Speaker 3: us to dance to a cover of Angel Baby by

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Speaker 3: Jenny ri Vera, and it's a mixture of the first

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Speaker 3: half of the song is in English and then in

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Speaker 3: the second half we get into the Spanish part and

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Speaker 3: it's all set to fand the music, and I think

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Speaker 3: just the mixture of having English and Spanish and banda,

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Speaker 3: it really encapsulates how I live my life as someone

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Speaker 3: that is Mexican American as navigating various identities, not just

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Speaker 3: my queer identity. And Jenny is the reason my mom

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Speaker 3: and I bond so much.

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Speaker 2: My mom means the world to me.

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Speaker 4: Today is a beautiful day for his double quince. I'm

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Speaker 4: seeing inside is like all these hearts.

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Speaker 8: Popping up and just raise and sunshine, and especially if

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Speaker 8: flowers blow me okay through I still see my baby Punky.

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Speaker 4: I SeeMe as my little boy. I just want to

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Speaker 4: tell him they are and you need the world to

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Speaker 4: meet and you're very special and I love you unconditionally

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Speaker 4: and I love you who you are.

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Speaker 2: It wouldn't be a consign without great food.

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Speaker 3: We had via Fricspercos that like classic cold spaghetti pasta

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Speaker 3: with like the hosbits of like ham in it. While

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Speaker 3: people were eating, I played a video for everyone to

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Speaker 3: watch on a projector. I did this like thirteen minute

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Speaker 3: presentation of pictures and videos, and I set it to

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Speaker 3: Lana Dlay's Ride the music video because there's a monologue in.

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Speaker 2: It fast.

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Speaker 7: Dim be wild, have.

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Speaker 2: Fun, which if you know, you.

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Speaker 7: Know, have you created a life for yourself or you

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Speaker 7: can experience them I have.

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Speaker 2: I am fucking gracing and I am free.

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Speaker 3: To me. It's like this very like it's a song

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Speaker 3: that's very like I think, emblematic for the gay community

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Speaker 3: and like I don't know, I made a meaning out

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Speaker 3: of it, and you know, putting pictures of families of

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Speaker 3: friends of my gay friends. There's a whole slide like

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Speaker 3: of me with my boyfriend and like a picture of

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Speaker 3: us kissing and like a friend of like you know,

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Speaker 3: my relatives. They were like yeah, like they were cheering,

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Speaker 3: which was nice. I even ended the presentation with Juan

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Speaker 3: Gabrielle's quote from premiering back to I believe for the

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Speaker 3: interview or literally just asked him like are you gay?

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Speaker 3: And I remember seeing that interview and being so like

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Speaker 3: mesmerized by his response on including that clip in my

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Speaker 3: slideshow at the very end of him saying saying, like

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Speaker 3: what you see, you don't ask right, Like this party,

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Speaker 3: I don't have to explain myself. It's a beautiful thing.

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Speaker 3: And then Jenny Jenny Rivera, I got a Jenny Riveda

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Speaker 3: drag queen rivals. Some gays have Lady Gaga. I have

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Speaker 3: Hillary Duff and Jenny Rivera. It's an interesting mix. But

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Speaker 3: Jenny Deveda, for me, represents so much.

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Speaker 2: Of what it means to be a queer man.

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Speaker 3: That energy that she carried like I don't care, I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna make it BIGGD and these spaces that I'm not

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Speaker 3: supposed to do I'm gonna be unapologetically myself.

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Speaker 2: And it was a blast.

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Speaker 3: My aunt, who flew in from Sinaloa, so my great

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Speaker 3: grandmother's sister, was the first time seeing a drag show,

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Speaker 3: the first time like other family members had seen a

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Speaker 3: drag show. They were asking me, like what do I

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Speaker 3: do with the dollar bills? Or like you know, like

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Speaker 3: it was all wholesome, great fun. Jenny put on a

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Speaker 3: show and she lip synced and performed her ass off

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Speaker 3: before it was time to go, comparing as a night

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Speaker 3: came to an end and we were preparing to leave

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Speaker 3: the big Gwit Hall. I said goodbye to a lot

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Speaker 3: of my family and friends, and I was super excited

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Speaker 3: because a lot of them were telling me they had

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Speaker 3: like such a blast the entire night. The younger version

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Speaker 3: of me would have never have been able to see

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Speaker 3: this party come to real life or to play out

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Speaker 3: the way that it did, mostly because I look back

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Speaker 3: at who I was for the longest time, you know,

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Speaker 3: hiding certain parts of who I am, sectioning off parts

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Speaker 3: of my identity. This might be a little bit of

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Speaker 3: a cliche, but if I could go back in time,

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Speaker 3: say fifteen years ago, I think I would tell that

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Speaker 3: younger version of Frank, You're so lucky to have this position.

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Speaker 3: This isn't every queer person's experience. This party, to me

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Speaker 3: kind of is revolutionary in a way. We're living in

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Speaker 3: a time where trans rights and queer rights and in

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Speaker 3: gay rights are all attacked. The Latin No LATINX communities

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Speaker 3: being attacked. I had friends that are undocumented that were

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Speaker 3: like afraid to even drive because of like the ice

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Speaker 3: rates that have been happening, right, And so I would

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Speaker 3: tell Bonky at my party, like, you know, just have

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Speaker 3: one drink because you're fifteen, but like, have what a

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Speaker 3: sip of tequila soda, get your dollar.

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Speaker 2: Bills and enjoy, Jenny, and enjoy.

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Speaker 3: Enjoy these people that love you so much, that like,

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Speaker 3: because they love you so much, love yourself as much

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Speaker 3: as they love you.

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Speaker 2: That was Frank Rosas.

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Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Renaldo Leanos Junior. It was

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Speaker 1: edited by our managing editor Fernanda Echavari, and it was

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Speaker 1: mixed by JJ Carubin. The Latino USA team also includes

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Speaker 1: Roxana Guire, Julia Caruso, Jessica Ellis, Victoria Estrada, Dominique Inestrosa,

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Speaker 1: Stephanie Lebau, Andrea Lopez Gruzado, Luis Luna, Julieta Martinelli, Marta Martinez,

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Speaker 1: Monica Morales, Garcia, JJ Carubin, Tasha Sandoval, Nour Saudi and

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Speaker 1: Nancy Trujillo, Benilei, Ramrez, Maria Garcia and I are co

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Speaker 1: executive producers and I'm your host, Mario Posa.

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Speaker 2: Join us again on our next episode.

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Speaker 1: In the meantime, I'll see you on social media and

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Speaker 1: remember always and forever Noteva Yes.

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Speaker 5: Latino USA is made possible in part by Public Welfare Foundation,

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00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 5: catalyzing transformative approaches to justice that are community led, restorative,

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Speaker 5: and racially just.

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Speaker 2: Skyline Foundation

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Speaker 5: Funding for Latino USA's coverage of a Culture of Health

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Speaker 5: is made possible in part by a grant from the

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Speaker 5: Robert Wood Johnson Foundation