1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Stay or go? A Vanessa is here, I haven't asked 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,040 Speaker 1: a good. 3 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,800 Speaker 2: Morning, good morning? 4 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: How are you Vanessa? Doing great? What's going on with 5 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: your boyfriend? In this case? I have your email here? 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: But why don't you explain? 7 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 3: Yes, actually I recently got engaged. 8 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:23,600 Speaker 1: Oh congratulations, except if say ergo, then that's that may 9 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: not be a good thing. So what's what's going on? 10 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 4: So I got. 11 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 3: Engaged about six months ago. And this is my this 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,159 Speaker 3: is my second marriage. I've got two kids from my 13 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 3: first and pretty soon after we moved in, my family, 14 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 3: my kids and I they've definitely had a bit of 15 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 3: a hard time adjusting to being in a new place 16 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 3: and living with my fiance. It's all it's all really 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,879 Speaker 3: new for them. And my my oldest, my son, he's sixteen. 18 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,920 Speaker 3: When we moved in, he got in a fight with 19 00:00:55,960 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 3: my fiance. I wasn't home, but my fiance was telling 20 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 3: my son to clean his room and my son didn't 21 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 3: want to do it, and it got heated. And now 22 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 3: my son and my fiance are they're just avoiding each 23 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 3: other in the house and being so so strange around 24 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 3: each other, and my son doesn't want to live with 25 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 3: us anymore. He wants to move out. I just wish 26 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 3: that my fiance had called me instead of trying to, 27 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 3: you know, discipline my son or deal with the problem himself. 28 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 3: I really don't know. I don't know what to do here. 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 1: I feel like, over my head, do you agree with 30 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: your fiance in the way that he went about it? 31 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: Was he fair and appropriate? I mean we can talk 32 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: about whether he should be disciplining your son without you 33 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: or not. That that's a separate topic, but if you 34 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: had to evaluate the way he went about it in 35 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: your absence, I mean, overall, are you okay with what 36 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: he wanted him to do clean his room? 37 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 3: I mean sure, it's technically, you know, all of our 38 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 3: house now, so I think he has a right to 39 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 3: ask my son to clean his room. But once it 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 3: got a little heated, Uh my, my fiance just tried 41 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 3: to you know, show that it's say, it's his house, 42 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,400 Speaker 3: and he was a little he's a little more strict 43 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 3: than I think he should have been. 44 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: Okay, And is the is your son's dad involved? I'm 45 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: just curious, like what the dynamic is? Is he around two? 46 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, he's around, and he's he's he's around, but he 47 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,080 Speaker 3: my son wants to go live with him now. And 48 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 3: that's that's that's that's very stressful for me. 49 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder I eight five five five one three five. 50 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: You guys a little group therapy action here. And I 51 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 1: know a lot of people listening have probably been through 52 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,920 Speaker 1: something like this. I mean I had a step dad too, 53 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 1: and and he moved in and and he wanted to 54 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: you know, it's like it's like you're you're living in 55 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: this house and you're sharing this space, and you obviously 56 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: want there to be like a good dialogue, and he 57 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: wanted to be a positive figure. And he does live there, 58 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: so he has a right to say something. But I 59 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,320 Speaker 1: I don't know that he ever disciplined me unilaterally without 60 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: my mom telling him them talking about it first, or 61 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: my mom asking him to or at least you know, 62 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: there was a time a transition where like it just 63 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,839 Speaker 1: the they, as of the adults, were comfortable with him 64 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: being involved in like the day to day you know 65 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:20,679 Speaker 1: sort of raising of my sister and me. You know 66 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 1: what I mean. He wasn't I don't think he got 67 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: you anything, you knowilaterally Like he wasn't out there screaming 68 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:29,359 Speaker 1: at me without talking to my mom because technically he 69 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: was still trying to ingratiate himself with us, and and 70 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,920 Speaker 1: that's her job and in theory that would have been 71 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: my father's job to do as well. So I can 72 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: see why that's tricky. But like, at the same time, 73 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 1: I don't know, what would you have preferred that he 74 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: had called you and said, hey, I'm upset about this. 75 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to say something. And then what do you say, Like, well, 76 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: wait till I get home and we do it together, Like, well, 77 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: how would you have preferred this gut had gone down? 78 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I absolutely wish that he had called 79 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:59,600 Speaker 3: me and we talked about it before it got so 80 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 3: so were blown and then I mean we probably should 81 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 3: have talked about how we would deal with that before. 82 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 3: But yeah, I wish he'd called me. 83 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: And so are you really thinking that maybe this isn't 84 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: the relationship for you, like, because I mean, stay or go. 85 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: We don't have to be literal. Not everybody who's calling 86 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 1: up here at the end of it's like, all right, 87 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: I'm out, I'm not gonna get married anymore. Thanks for 88 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: my advice. But I mean, do you look at this 89 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: and say, I don't know, Like I don't like the 90 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,720 Speaker 1: way he did it, and I don't know if I 91 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: can be with him now, like or I got to 92 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: pick my son. But see, here's what's tricky is your 93 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: son needed to clean his room. He's sixteen years old. 94 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: He lives in this house that I presumably you and 95 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: your soon to be husband paid for. There isn't right 96 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: and a wrong way to go about this, but you know, 97 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 1: he still has to sort of behave right. I mean, 98 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,919 Speaker 1: he still has to respect the place where he's living. 99 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: So I mean, what are you saying if you just say, okay, 100 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:55,000 Speaker 1: move out whatever. My relationship with my son now is 101 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: estranged because my soon to be husband had an issue 102 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: with the condition of his room. So far as he 103 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:06,039 Speaker 1: was respectful and obviously not abusive or anything like that. 104 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: I mean, does he not have a right to say 105 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: to your son, hey, you got to do this. 106 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,839 Speaker 3: I think he does have a right. It's more the 107 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 3: issue of I don't know how to resolve this. I 108 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,000 Speaker 3: don't want to lose either of them. I don't want 109 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 3: to lose my son and I don't want to lose 110 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,920 Speaker 3: my fiance. So I just want to know how to 111 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 3: how to work this all out and I'll be happy 112 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 3: together in the same house. 113 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, and Vanessa, people are are texting. Just to be clear, 114 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: when you say fight, we're referring to some form of 115 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 1: a verbal argument, right, We're not talking about there's nothing physical. 116 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 3: No, nothing physical, just just. 117 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: Verbal because that would have been obvious. And by fight, 118 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: is it like teenage angst? Or was it? Did it 119 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,080 Speaker 1: get like down and dirty? Were your fiance saying things 120 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 1: to your son that he shouldn't say? 121 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 4: It? 122 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: Was this simply a matter of your fiance trying to 123 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: assert himself as a leader or like as a as 124 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 1: a figure in the house that needs to be respected. 125 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: Whether he should or should not have done that without 126 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 1: you is again a different conversation. But was it? Was 127 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: it done from your understanding in a way where he 128 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: was not necessarily in the wrong. And the response from 129 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,680 Speaker 1: your son is what you might expect from a sixteen year. 130 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 3: Old, I mean definitely, I definitely expect a sixteen year 131 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 3: old to not want to go clean his room and 132 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 3: to want to do things on his own time. I 133 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,719 Speaker 3: think the big part of it is that we've you know, 134 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 3: we've moved into my fiance's house, so it's it's kind 135 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 3: of his house and we're moving in and I think 136 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 3: he we're still establishing rules, and I think he was 137 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 3: he was trying to establish a rule with my son 138 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 3: and it just, yeah, the fight just got a little 139 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 3: a little angry. He was he was saying that it's 140 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 3: his house and you know it's our house now, ye 141 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 3: trying to find a way to try find a way 142 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: to all. 143 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, you need to have a talk with your fiance 144 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 5: because he's a grown ass adult like and I know 145 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,880 Speaker 5: he's he's a he's a man. Men hate apologizing, but 146 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 5: he's wrong in this situation. I feel like you have 147 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 5: to have this conversation with him and say you're out 148 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 5: of line and he and then the two of you 149 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 5: have to have a conversation with your son where he 150 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 5: needs to apologize and you guys have to work it 151 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 5: out some way there Because is. 152 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 6: He wrong, That's what I'm trying to I don't. 153 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: He depends on how he went about it. 154 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 5: He shouldn't be disciplining this this woman's son at all. 155 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 6: That is not his kid. 156 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: It's about to be his step kid about to be. 157 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 5: But just because you moved into this man's house doesn't 158 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 5: mean you get to set rules, especially if she's not there. 159 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: But I've lived this Rufio, and like, he can't just 160 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: be an absentee. He can't just be this adult figure 161 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: in the house who who doesn't get to speak his 162 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:49,440 Speaker 1: mind and doesn't get to have a say. That's where 163 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: things are gonna get completely unwrapped. 164 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,239 Speaker 5: I understand that, but why pick this fight just because 165 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 5: you want him to clean his room without but without 166 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,400 Speaker 5: his mom being there. You have to have the conversation 167 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 5: with her first before you discipline anybody that's not his 168 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 5: kid at. 169 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 1: I all agree, But wasn't there, Vanessa? I have to ask, 170 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,200 Speaker 1: wasn't there some form of acceptance of his role that 171 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 1: you guys take on when you move into his house 172 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 1: and decide that you're going to get married again. He 173 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: doesn't get to disrespect your son. He doesn't get to 174 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: obviously abuse your son in any way. He doesn't get 175 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,840 Speaker 1: to go too far with it. But if he has 176 00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:26,600 Speaker 1: a request of your son and you're living together, all together, 177 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 1: and it's a fair request, does your I mean, at 178 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: what point do we say, hey, look, you are you're 179 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: you're a kid like you gotta do. You got to 180 00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 1: do what your elders are telling you to do. Because 181 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: because he likes his opinion matters too. Now again, was 182 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: he disrespectful? To he use profanity? Was he abusive? Was 183 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 1: he There's a lot of parameters here, But like, if 184 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: he has a request of your son, I assume you 185 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: guys have been over that right because you moved in 186 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: with him. It's like this guy's a total unknown. 187 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean he's he's well within his right to 188 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 3: ask my son to clean his room. But once it once, 189 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 3: you know, my son talked back to him and things, 190 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 3: you know, the words got a little harsher, let's less kind. 191 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,680 Speaker 3: I wish that he, as the adult, had kind of 192 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 3: stepped back and called me and let me know so 193 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 3: that it didn't go any further and then we could 194 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 3: all work it out together. 195 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,120 Speaker 1: You know, I get that. But he can't just be 196 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: this this lame duck stepfather, you know what I mean? Like, 197 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: that's not going to work here. I don't know what 198 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: that would be. 199 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 7: I don't think the stepfather owes her child an apology 200 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 7: for asking him to clean his room. Like why would 201 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 7: he apologize for that? I don't think he did anything 202 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,480 Speaker 7: wrong by asking him that. Getting a verbal argument with 203 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,839 Speaker 7: I wouldn't get in a first of all, I'm not 204 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 7: getting in a verbal argument with any child. So from 205 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 7: that point on, I think it's on you to set 206 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,800 Speaker 7: boundaries with your fiance and your child. From the beginning, 207 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 7: when you brought him into the home, you all should 208 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 7: have had to sit down and you should have explained 209 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 7: your expectations between all of you. 210 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: But I have a real question, Kiki, what and Rufiel, 211 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: what point does this dude continually walking away from his 212 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,120 Speaker 1: reasonable requests of this child? At what point does he then? 213 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: Is he not respected? And that's what I'm saying. He 214 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: lives there too, yes, and he has a right to ax. 215 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 7: That's why I'm like, I don't think he deserved he 216 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,320 Speaker 7: needs to give an apology for what happened. I think 217 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 7: she needs to set some boundaries with her child and 218 00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 7: the new partson she's bringing into her child's life. It's 219 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 7: on the mother's responsibility to set those expectations on both as. 220 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: I agree. But shouldn't that have when everyone moves in together, 221 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,199 Speaker 1: isn't it is? It shouldn't have been implied, Hey, we're 222 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,839 Speaker 1: comfortable with this guy and he has he's going to 223 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 1: have a right to have a say what happens in 224 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: this household. Again, if he crossed the line, I mean, 225 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 1: we can debate that. But at the same time this, 226 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know I had a stepdad, and 227 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,440 Speaker 1: I don't think he ever did anything that my mom 228 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: didn't know about or approve of. But I mean he 229 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: had a right he had to assert himself in some 230 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 1: ways because he was technically the man of that house. 231 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 8: Yeah, but he's an adult and saying this is my 232 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 8: house the low blows can be really scarring for a 233 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 8: kid who's being and you know it moved into another home. 234 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,960 Speaker 2: It already wasn't your home. Your parents are split up. 235 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 2: So I mean he may not have. 236 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,320 Speaker 1: Gone about it in the right way I think, is it, 237 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: But but him him saying something I don't know that 238 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 1: we want to necessarily set the precedent of him not 239 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: being able to say anything to your son, because then 240 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: you're not going to walk all over him. 241 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 8: Yeah, he should have waited for her to get home 242 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,599 Speaker 8: if they hadn't discussed the grounds, and I agree with that. 243 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: But yeah, all right, have an esset. Let me take 244 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: some phone calls on this. Thank you so much, have 245 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: a great day and have the radio and good luck. 246 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 6: Thank you. 247 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: I don't like that this is my house stuff. I mean, 248 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: it's it's our house now if that's what we're doing. 249 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,560 Speaker 1: But again, like what's's supposed to do? Go clean your 250 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: room and the kid go screw you and he goes 251 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: okay and walk away, Like that's not going to work. 252 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,839 Speaker 5: Be like, well, okay, if you don't want to clean 253 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,880 Speaker 5: it now, we'll have a conversation when your mother gets home. 254 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 6: You know what I'm saying. 255 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:51,239 Speaker 1: So he said every single thing moderated by the mother because. 256 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 2: There was no boundary said. 257 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 5: Like Kiki said, they never had a conversation about disciplining 258 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 5: her children, Like you can't just be like, no, this 259 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 5: is my house, you're going to clean Okay, You're getting 260 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 5: it to a pisson contest with a sixteen year old. 261 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 7: Yeah, she needs to set boundaries from the beginning. But 262 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 7: as an adult, I have the right to ask you 263 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,840 Speaker 7: to do things. As a child, you know that if 264 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 7: I act you to clean your room, Okay, you want 265 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 7: to be disrespectful, let's settle it with your mother. But 266 00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 7: after this, we're going to set some boundaries because I'm 267 00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:18,840 Speaker 7: not going to be left in you. You're not going 268 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 7: to be left in my care and I can't discipline 269 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,160 Speaker 7: you or correct your behavior. 270 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you, this might be unpopular. I 271 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: put this on the mom before I put on anybody else. 272 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: I agree, what are they doing living together and doing 273 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: all this together if these things haven't already been established 274 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,680 Speaker 1: at a great point. And again, I mean, and also like, 275 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,760 Speaker 1: let's be really honest, sixteen year olds could be sixteen 276 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: year olds. But you also don't get to tell adults 277 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 1: to screw off either, Like that's not okay either, right, 278 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 1: So I agree he was the adult. He should have 279 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,040 Speaker 1: walked away. There shouldn't be an altercation. But I mean, 280 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: you know, things get heated. And I think also, you know, 281 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: sometimes people need to assert themselves and say, hey, look 282 00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: I'm the adult, you're the kid, like you know. But again, 283 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: there were probably some some things said in the process 284 00:12:57,280 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: of all this that that we're not the beast. Hey, Olivia, 285 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: good morning. What do you think? 286 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 9: Good morning? I think the mom and the sown are 287 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,720 Speaker 9: in the wrong. When she moved in with him, accepted 288 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 9: him as his fiance, her fiance, she should have given 289 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,520 Speaker 9: him that respect where he's an adult. If he's saying 290 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 9: something specially especially living in his home, you know, I don't. 291 00:13:20,559 --> 00:13:24,320 Speaker 9: I think the sixteen year old was completely wrong and disrespectful. 292 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm just I'm surprised that none of this 293 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: was established before they all moved in together, and there 294 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: are going to be bossed by the way like you know, look, 295 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 1: I did the thing too when I was you're not 296 00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 1: my you're not my dad. Kaelin did it too, Paulina 297 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: did it. But we all did that, that thing, that 298 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 1: resisting thing. But it's like, at some point, your mom, 299 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: I hope, has chosen this man because he's a good 300 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 1: man and he's someone who, you know, I think is 301 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 1: going to be a positive impact in your life. And 302 00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: he's not gonna get walked on. He's not gonna get again. 303 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,000 Speaker 1: Was the approach right? Maybe not? But at the same time, 304 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,040 Speaker 1: the sixteen year old doesn't get to run all over this, 305 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: you know, because there's no There has to be some 306 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 1: level of respect there. I mean, I don't know. Olivia, 307 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: thank you so much. Have a good day. 308 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 9: Thank you. 309 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: I'm glad you called. Hey, Nate, good morning. 310 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,440 Speaker 4: Good morning. How you guys doing today. 311 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 1: Nate, what do you want to say, ma'am? 312 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 4: I actually am in the exact same situation as she is. 313 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 4: As difficult as it is, I say that you should 314 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 4: stay because the exact same concept of what she's going through. 315 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 4: My stepson is eight years old, and she is basically 316 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,480 Speaker 4: acting in the same way. I try to discipline him. 317 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 4: I try to help my wife out, and my step 318 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 4: son turns around and says, you know, hey, I don't 319 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 4: want to do this. You can't make me do that. 320 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 2: You're not my real dad. 321 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: Stuff like that. 322 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 4: He says that all the time to me. My white 323 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 4: sex husband is the one that's in quotes the fun parent. 324 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,440 Speaker 1: You know, we went through that too, same thing where 325 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 1: my stepdad got to be the a hole because my 326 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: father was trying to do everything to defy, you know, 327 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: my my mom and the family unit she was trying 328 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 1: to build. So it's like, what was my mom supposed 329 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: to do? Just let let my quote unquote stepfather just 330 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: get run over the way that it sounds like maybe 331 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: you are you can't do that exactly. 332 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, exactly. 333 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 4: And it's very very difficult because sorry, there's a trend 334 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 4: going by. It's very difficult at times because when I 335 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 4: tried to establish the boundary and I try to you know, 336 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 4: instill that discipline, sometimes he'll turn around and he'll run 337 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 4: back to his dad and instead of his dad coming 338 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 4: and talking to me man to man about it. He 339 00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 4: turns around and he actually contacts my wife and it 340 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 4: basically cuts it out my wife and yelled at her 341 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 4: and says, why are you having this other guy? I 342 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 4: understand that you guys are married, And she said, well, 343 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 4: he is my husband. He has a right to do this, 344 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 4: he has a right to discipline, he has a right 345 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 4: to say these things. And he turns around and choose 346 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 4: her out on my behalf instead of coming straight to me. 347 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 4: And it's something that I've been dealing with for years. 348 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 4: We are obviously, like I said, we are married now, 349 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 4: so I know it's going to be for the rest 350 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 4: of my life and I'm okay with that. But the 351 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 4: part that really hurts is how a I'm not able 352 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 4: to get the respect from my eight year old stepson 353 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 4: and his dad is the one that always comes to 354 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 4: bat for him. But instead of him stepping up and 355 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 4: being the man and saying, Okay, I'm going to talk 356 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:54,080 Speaker 4: to this other guy who is stepped into the father 357 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,920 Speaker 4: role of my son, I'm going to talk to him 358 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 4: about it, he doesn't. 359 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: He goes to my wife. He doesn't like you because 360 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 1: he's not over the breakup, and he'll do anything to 361 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 1: undermine you, which only makes it worse, which is why 362 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 1: you have to be able to stand up for yourself 363 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,600 Speaker 1: in some regard. And again, you know your wife should 364 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 1: be involved. But if you don't, then then this kid's 365 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,680 Speaker 1: never going to respect you and it's always going to 366 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 1: be a problem. Thank you for calling, man, have a 367 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:24,760 Speaker 1: good day. And I know this because I was that kid. Mirah, Hi, Mirah, 368 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 1: good morning, Fred. 369 00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 10: Happy be lated birthday? 370 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,600 Speaker 4: Kaylen are you. 371 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 10: I'll be really quick. I just you know, I don't 372 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 10: think we I think we all agree. The ask was 373 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 10: completely appropriate. It's just his delivery. It's not what you ask, 374 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 10: it's how you delivered it. And I think that's what 375 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 10: there's really this. To me, there are totally two separate issues. 376 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,760 Speaker 10: Asking clear the room is fine. But whatever happened afterwards, 377 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 10: it sounds like it got heated. It sounds like he 378 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,640 Speaker 10: should have stepped away and done a little bit more 379 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 10: mature after he resisted and and just yeah and got 380 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 10: on the same page with his you know, fiance. It's 381 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 10: what happened afterwards. It's what he said afterwards is how 382 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 10: you know, maybe a voice was raised through what happened 383 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 10: and that's just my opinion. It was just not to 384 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 10: ask how the delivery went. 385 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: I agree. I do think that the the husband, the 386 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: stepfather in this case, the obligation for him to be 387 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: the more mature when and walk away. That is absolutely 388 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: on the adult. But then again, you could argue, should 389 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,920 Speaker 1: the sixteen year old be spouting off at this guy, 390 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: you know, because he doesn't want to do something that's 391 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: that's a pretty normal request. 392 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,480 Speaker 8: Yeah, but we have to take into account the transition 393 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,159 Speaker 8: just had. This is a lot on kids, so he 394 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 8: might be going through something. 395 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 6: Of course, teach him. 396 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 8: It's not okay, but we do have to remember they 397 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,360 Speaker 8: just moved. 398 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: Well, but I also assume this dude's been around for 399 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,639 Speaker 1: a minute. If they moved in together, I mean, I 400 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: want to assume that he's not a brand new figure. 401 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,240 Speaker 6: But living in his house is different. 402 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's true. That is true, Amira, Thank you, 403 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,520 Speaker 1: have a great day. 404 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 6: Thank you. 405 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 1: Let me see here, Hey, Nicole, I'm here, Hey, good morning. 406 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,199 Speaker 1: What do you want to say? Stare going just for 407 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: people just tuning in now. Essentially, it's a case of 408 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,439 Speaker 1: sixteen year old kid and mom move in with moms 409 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,719 Speaker 1: soon to be new husband, and husband and sixteen year 410 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: old kid are getting into it over like basic household chores, 411 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,240 Speaker 1: and she's going, what do I do? Because now my 412 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,359 Speaker 1: son doesn't want to live here anymore. Now my soon 413 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 1: to be husband is resentful of the fact there's no respect. 414 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,159 Speaker 1: You know, he's trying to establish himself in the household. 415 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 1: He maybe didn't go about it in the right way. 416 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: So what do you think, hey, friend, love your show? 417 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 11: First of all, thank you, I say, she goes, because 418 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:35,000 Speaker 11: she already what's happened is now her fiance and her 419 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,680 Speaker 11: son are already at odds. She's never going to win 420 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 11: in this situation. It's now going to be an issue 421 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 11: with her and the fiance in her and the sun. 422 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 11: And she already said she feels like she doesn't want 423 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,880 Speaker 11: to have to make a choice between the two. But regardless, 424 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 11: the son is your son, and you have to you, 425 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,120 Speaker 11: you know, depending on how the whole thing went down 426 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 11: is one thing. But the son should already know, Hey, 427 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 11: I'm I'm sixteen years old, I should be cleaning my room. 428 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,360 Speaker 11: I should this, and that it should have never escalated. 429 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 11: But she's never going to win in this situation. She 430 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,119 Speaker 11: is someone's gonna resent her it's always going to be 431 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 11: in the back of the kid's mind, it's always going 432 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 11: to be in the back of the fiance's mind, and 433 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 11: it's never gonna it's never going to be good for her. 434 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough, all right, thank you, Nicole, have a 435 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:21,800 Speaker 1: good day. 436 00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 11: Thank you you Toobern. 437 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 1: Shelby Shelley two hundred and fifty bucks in the show 438 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: down her record nine twenty and sixty one three straight. 439 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,960 Speaker 1: If you want to take on the gorilla in five 440 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 1: questions when some money call now eat five five five 441 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,399 Speaker 1: nine three five, The Entertainment Report is next to you. 442 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: On the Fread Show Chapel Road. Yeah, they talk better 443 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 1: than they say. These are the radio blogs on the 444 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 1: Fred Show. I know it wasn't Jason because he thinks 445 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,359 Speaker 1: he's in Paris and he thinks he's in France, but 446 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: he's really in Hawaii. Uh huh, So I know that 447 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: it wasn't him. Yep, I'm trying to eat for free. 448 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:01,879 Speaker 1: Don't trust me. We know, we know, we know, like 449 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,199 Speaker 1: riding in a tire, except we say that aloud. We 450 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 1: call him blogs Kiki doing a rufeo blog, go deer blog. 451 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,520 Speaker 7: Well, you know, I don't like to have debts to 452 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 7: certain people the toll way. You know, hey, it is 453 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,000 Speaker 7: what it is, Okay, nightcore gas sometimes it is what 454 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,399 Speaker 7: it is. But my brother Rufio here, I would like 455 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,640 Speaker 7: to settle our debt, and so. 456 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,880 Speaker 6: I am going to there is a debt. 457 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 2: Baby. 458 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,800 Speaker 6: When we were on our trip to carbondalay. 459 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:35,639 Speaker 7: At this amazing restaurant at an airport, okay, yes, and 460 00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 7: we had all this food on the table. 461 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: It wasn't like a Chilie to go guys. It was 462 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 1: like an actual air restaurant that just to be at 463 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: an area at an air at the Carbondale Airport, Southern Illinois, 464 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:48,560 Speaker 1: the luxurious destination. 465 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 6: It was called St. 466 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 3: Nick. 467 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 6: Yeah. So the food was amazing. 468 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 7: We had all these appetizers and everybody's just passing around 469 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 7: plates and then they say, okay, let's get our entree. 470 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 7: So of course Rufio ordered a nice prime steak, you know, yeah. 471 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: Taking a menu. I'm like, well, that's what rufe is 472 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:08,360 Speaker 1: because it's the most expensive thing. 473 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 7: So yeah, while so the rest of us just ordered 474 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 7: these little random meals or whatever. And when his steak 475 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,480 Speaker 7: came out, he said, oh my god, look at that steak. 476 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,199 Speaker 7: So then all the attention went to his steak, and 477 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 7: so Paulina and. 478 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,280 Speaker 6: I were like, wow, that steak looks really good. 479 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,119 Speaker 7: Now it's not a small steak, and we've had seventeen 480 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:33,960 Speaker 7: appetizers already, so my boy is not starving. So we're like, hey, Rupea, 481 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 7: let's look at you a little piece of that steak. Right, 482 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,960 Speaker 7: I'm thinking, hey, he Patty. And now the face that 483 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 7: he made, I was like, oh, we didn't messed up, 484 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 7: we got mes. So what Reluctantly he gave us a 485 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 7: little piece of steak. Now the piece was little, okay, 486 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 7: so I said, okay, I'm gonna take my little piece. 487 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 7: Now we wait twenty four hours. The next day, we 488 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,040 Speaker 7: get in a car, we're doing something random and Rufio 489 00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,280 Speaker 7: just out of nowhere goes man. You know, it just 490 00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:02,520 Speaker 7: really shocks me how everybody on this trip likes to 491 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:03,359 Speaker 7: share their food. 492 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 6: And immediately I'm like, I know he not tripping about 493 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:07,160 Speaker 6: this state. 494 00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 2: It was that it was at the lunch with our boy. 495 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 2: Of course we're in front of more food. 496 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:15,119 Speaker 6: Brings up the fact that he shared his piece of state. 497 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 7: When Paulina and I so, now I will have to 498 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,399 Speaker 7: buy this man, say no, no, I do's not like 499 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:20,760 Speaker 7: to share. 500 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: That was that was now what I was saying. 501 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 5: I was saying that because Paulina ordered soup like French 502 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 5: onion soup or something like that at that at that lunch. 503 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:30,000 Speaker 6: Oh yeah. 504 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:31,560 Speaker 1: And then she's like she took one bite. 505 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 2: She's like, anybody wants something. I'm like, I never experience that. 506 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,399 Speaker 5: We're just like you just take one bite or salad, 507 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:39,960 Speaker 5: one by the salad, would. 508 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 2: You like some salad? 509 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, what, you've never had anybody? 510 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 2: I know, No, I don't know. 511 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,639 Speaker 1: I feel like almost every meal that I'm at, almost 512 00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: every meal I attend, someone's like, you want to try this, 513 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: or anyone wants some of this? And now and I 514 00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 1: realized what they're doing. It's usual, of course not but 515 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: Ruvios manages to not hear that. He briefly doesn't speak 516 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: English when that happens. But I've also noticed that people 517 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 1: do that when they really just want to eat yours. 518 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,160 Speaker 1: Yea like when people when the table, when the food 519 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,240 Speaker 1: shows up and people realize that your order was better 520 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 1: than theirs, is when they typically start trying to give 521 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:18,400 Speaker 1: it away in trade, in trade for something that's on 522 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,879 Speaker 1: your plate. Huh. And I feel obligated to them do 523 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,880 Speaker 1: it because I know what you're doing. You just want 524 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,760 Speaker 1: to bite of mine. I don't necessarily want to bite 525 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: of yours. 526 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 6: Now, yes, that may be true. 527 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 7: And Rufio, as a former non food sharer, myself, okay, 528 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 7: because I'm greedy, so I'm very much the friend, like 529 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 7: if you want something, I would rather buy you. 530 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: In addition, completely agree to share my food. But that's 531 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,280 Speaker 1: not the point for a lot of people. The point 532 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 1: for I can see Kaylen being this way. Caylen doesn't 533 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 1: want you to buy her. No, she wants some of 534 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: yours because she wants you to give that to her, 535 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,439 Speaker 1: because she wants you to she wants that to be 536 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,560 Speaker 1: giving of yourself. But I'm the same way. Like I've 537 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: learned this lesson too many times. You go to the 538 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,240 Speaker 1: fast food restaurant and it's like, I don't want any thing, 539 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,920 Speaker 1: or just give me the nuggets, I don't need any fries. Nope, 540 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,439 Speaker 1: I'm ordering you fries. I'm ordering you fries because what 541 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 1: happens is we get home, all my fries are gone. 542 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,679 Speaker 1: Because what I'm talking about, so I'm a fall for 543 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 1: that trick anymore. What I'm doing is I'm buying. I'll 544 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 1: buy you all the food you want, but then don't 545 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 1: touch mine. 546 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 6: Yeah right, It used to. 547 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,880 Speaker 7: Be that way, but the joy that falls on Kaylin's 548 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 7: face when you share your food with her is worth it. 549 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,240 Speaker 7: So now I'm happy to share my food. I have changed, 550 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:30,879 Speaker 7: I have turned over a new leath. Big sim is 551 00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,880 Speaker 7: the second way, Like you don't refuge for you, don't 552 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:33,159 Speaker 7: play that. 553 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: He would rather order. 554 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,920 Speaker 6: Me my own pizza then share the pizza with me. 555 00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 2: You should have ordered in the first I don't understand. 556 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 6: This, though, So now I owe this man some steak. 557 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 5: And I'm not saying I was just on this trip 558 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 5: we were just like everyone's just like, oh, you want 559 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 5: some of this, you want some of that. I'm like, no, 560 00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 5: I'm good. Like I ordered what I'm going to order. 561 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 5: You know, I order what I ordered, That's what I'm 562 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 5: gonna eat. 563 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 8: But if it's so good, I want to watch you 564 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 8: bite my like thing that is sold, because then. 565 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:58,880 Speaker 2: I would have ordered the chicken sound that you got, 566 00:25:58,880 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 2: but I did it. 567 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 6: I'm not asking for any of yours. 568 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 2: I just want you to try it if it's good. 569 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,160 Speaker 5: But yeah, I understand that, But like, are you scared 570 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,439 Speaker 5: that you're going to ask for some of his. 571 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:07,960 Speaker 7: I don't know. 572 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,320 Speaker 6: I'm not try yours. 573 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: I'm not. 574 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,120 Speaker 5: I'm just not used to people just like taking one 575 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 5: bite of their entree and then. 576 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 2: Signing to share right away. 577 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 6: That's rude. 578 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 1: Didn't you say something the next day of them like 579 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:19,560 Speaker 1: I wish I had that steak back? 580 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 6: Yes? 581 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 7: No, And I had to give y all my faty 582 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,920 Speaker 7: piece that I did. 583 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,080 Speaker 1: So he's still thinking about the free piece of steak 584 00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:34,440 Speaker 1: that he gave away, that he shared with someone else, 585 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 1: that brought joy to. 586 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,880 Speaker 8: Someone else while he was eating a different meal. That's 587 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 8: the issue we were moving. 588 00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,959 Speaker 6: He was really sadr love the story. 589 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,359 Speaker 7: Order your own food that you want to try, okay, 590 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 7: and I will be giving you a stake. 591 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:52,680 Speaker 6: Don't ask for sake. 592 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I do is it's not the same, 593 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 1: but it's more. I'll go someplace and maybe I'm going 594 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,240 Speaker 1: to the restaurant, and then maybe I'm doing something afterwards, 595 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: so I don't want to carry the bag of leftovers around. 596 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 1: So I'll wake up the next day and I'll think 597 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: about the food I left on the table. I will 598 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 1: obsess over what I didn't consume. Now that I will do, 599 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: I don't regret ever sharing with someone, but like I'll 600 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,359 Speaker 1: be like, man, I really wish I had that, like 601 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: several bites of steak right now, that's gone forever. 602 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 7: So you have the self control to leave a perfectly 603 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,800 Speaker 7: good steak there, because that's a go box point. 604 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,280 Speaker 1: I mean certain food, certain food's going to get consumed, 605 00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,119 Speaker 1: like steaks, they get expensive, they get consumed no matter what. 606 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 1: I almost trying. But there have been situations where I'm like, man, 607 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,680 Speaker 1: I really wish I had that. Yeah, I wish I 608 00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:41,320 Speaker 1: had the rest of that right now, but I just 609 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:43,359 Speaker 1: I don't know I had We were going somewhere, so 610 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: like I'm not trying to carry a shopping bag full 611 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 1: of food to you know, the club or whatever, cause 612 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: you know I'm always going to club right constantly in 613 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: the club. Well, now that actually might be that might 614 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: come in handy. I mean you go to the club 615 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,399 Speaker 1: like around one thirty, I'm like, bang, I'm hungry, and 616 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 1: then just whip out the glascarola and just start going 617 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 1: for it, you know what I mean. Yeah, Okay, So 618 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,200 Speaker 1: Rufo doesn't like to share and obsesses over the things 619 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: that he shared. I'm just not used to it. Shocking 620 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: Blog It's amazing to me. How are you Not only 621 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,360 Speaker 1: are you not an only child, but you have two 622 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 1: children and a wife and you still don't share. Yeah. 623 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,399 Speaker 5: I mean I order what I'm gonna eat and I 624 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,119 Speaker 5: eat it. Like my wife does the same thing. He 625 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 5: does the same thing too, Like I don't ask, like, oh, 626 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 5: let me get some of that, like whatever you ordered. 627 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,879 Speaker 2: I just eat what I ordered and I enjoy it. 628 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,639 Speaker 7: But you know she's not gonna finish hers, and you 629 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,200 Speaker 7: wait first. 630 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 5: Yeah, I eat the leftovers later, you know, the next day. Right, 631 00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 5: She's never gonna finish it. But I'm not be like, yo, 632 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 5: let me get a bite of that. I'm just that's 633 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 5: not Yeah. We order what we order and I eat it. 634 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 6: We know that food. 635 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 1: Okay, there's nothing more on branded what just happened right there. 636 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,000 Speaker 1: The entertainment reporting is next. The Freads Show is on. 637 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:59,840 Speaker 1: The Fread Show is on. My Friend's Fun fact. 638 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 4: Fredge fun. 639 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: So much. This is a wild one, guys, this is wild. 640 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: Did you know that ostrich farms sometimes have difficulty getting 641 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,440 Speaker 1: their male ostriches to breed because the male ostriches are 642 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 1: often more attracted to their human caretakers than the other 643 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:27,600 Speaker 1: female ostriches. 644 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 6: That's kind of scary. Whoa just like a man? 645 00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,479 Speaker 1: Well, I mean you can't well you can't have I mean, 646 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,200 Speaker 1: what's last time we tried to get with an ostrich though? 647 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:42,680 Speaker 1: Were you? No, you can't ostrich. Farms sometimes have difficult 648 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: to get in their male ostriches to breed, since the 649 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 1: male ostriches are often more attractive than they're human caretakers 650 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: than to female ostriches. It's like female ostrich coming up 651 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 1: in here, like what's up and it Dude's like, no, 652 00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:57,080 Speaker 1: I'm backing on this one over here. Check out this 653 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: is a human. Yeah right exactly. She don't even know 654 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 1: what I can do. Get out of here, Get out 655 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,560 Speaker 1: of here, ostrich. I don't want you ostrich. More thread 656 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:07,360 Speaker 1: show next