WEBVTT - Saved By The Belmore Presents: CLASS IS IN SESSION (Episode 1) 0:00:02.080 --> 0:00:10.239 Yeah, sorry, one second, one second. Once, guys, guys, I 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:15.440 don't have I'm not wearing it, any clothes. That's it's 0:00:15.720 --> 0:00:20.160 it's against company protocol. I get moved after four. Okay, 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.160 this is my nude meditation time, but come in. Okay. 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:25.439 Are you going to put something on or are we 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:27.520 going to have to just sit here with you in 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:31.880 the nude and me that Um Pool floaty? Can you go? 0:00:32.240 --> 0:00:33.800 I'm just gonna put this in for is it more 0:00:33.840 --> 0:00:37.880 comfortable for all of us to disrobe? I have two 0:00:37.880 --> 0:00:40.000 extra pool floats in my office and we can do 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:44.440 modesty pool floats in full nude. Let's do it, let's 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:48.640 let's all you go grab those, let's meet back here. Okay, okay, Great. 0:00:51.159 --> 0:00:54.560 My Pool float isn't quite wide enough my mid section. 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:58.840 It's skimpy. Mine is mine is on the floor because 0:00:58.920 --> 0:01:01.720 my my waist is too tiny. Yeah, yeah, you have 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:05.400 such a small snash. Did you do the cool sculpting? 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:08.800 I did cool sculpting is air sculpting? Yeah, it doesn't matter. 0:01:09.040 --> 0:01:12.640 I brought sell what's the difference? I can't go into this. 0:01:12.720 --> 0:01:16.039 I'm not a trained medical professional. I brought Celsius energy drink. 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:18.360 Do you guys want some? Yeah, crack it open hands 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:23.480 and over, please go. Well, uh, I'm still finishing my 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:27.760 athletic Greens. Oh okay, can you drink both quickly? I 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:30.720 guess so. Let's take fifteen and wait for him to drink. 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:36.119 I don't want to hear that. You're gassing now. I'm not. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:41.320 I'm perfectly satiated, alright, with my two beverages. Okay, I'm 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.800 a little gassie. This was supposed to start a half 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:48.720 hour ago. Can we get we have a huge series 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:52.640 on our hands. It's a runaway train of success. Guys. 0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:57.080 The trades are saying deadline is saying this is a 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:02.120 good one. Clown parade to break the streak because of 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:08.519 the famed Hollywood curse of four. Oh my gosh, it's 0:02:08.560 --> 0:02:12.799 so true. Things always die. I was not aware of that. 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:16.360 Well then, then put this puts a little pressure on. 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.000 But tell us, okay, okay, we'll see. Tell you what 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:25.639 we think. Sometimes makes a diamond. That's a rule, culture, rule, culture, number. 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:32.080 Sometimes pressure makes a diamond. Are you guys familiar with 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:37.480 the social media handle fat carry Bradshaw, Chris Burns? We 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.600 Love Chris Burns. We used to do like really really 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.120 crazy shows with him back in the day. You should 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.160 have seen US doing crazy shows in Brooklyn with fat 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:48.720 carry Bradshaw, Crisp Burn. I guess who we've somehow roped 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.760 into number four? If you say Kevin Spacey, I'M gonna 0:02:52.919 --> 0:03:03.200 lose my head. Hold on one second. Okay, paper, Jesus, 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:05.840 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jesus, that you have to 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:10.360 look down and see this one. Mr Chris Burns, okay, 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:15.720 has created Mr Stephen Bellmore, a teacher at a gifted 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:18.920 school does not mind spilling the t about the staff 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:25.640 and students on his podcast. Saved by the BELMORE. Oh 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:28.960 my God, it's just gonna be a gossipy gay teacher 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.480 with wordplay. I am obsessed. Okay, you know what, I'm 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:35.760 not worried about the cursive, for if anyone is going 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:38.680 to save us and break us out of it's Chris. Chris, yeah, 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:44.000 because he is an incredible young talent, and that's what 0:03:44.120 --> 0:03:57.400 we're looking for. We're going for young talent, yes, like myself. No, well, Hey, no, forever, Hoever, 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.880 let me get my walker. Well, stop, you have a 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:08.360 good life. Greens are backing up on me. Don't indulge 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:11.320 in this speaking, we're all nude and Gassie here in 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:14.480 my office and I'm just I'm just trying to keep 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.960 this together. Okay, I'm trying to keep this running professionally. Okay, 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:22.320 I have some notes about Chris. Chris is a comedian, 0:04:22.480 --> 0:04:26.000 writer and actor, just blessed with natural good looks. I'm 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:28.960 just there's no question about what we can tell you 0:04:29.400 --> 0:04:36.200 from striking, striking beauty, striking and I think this will 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:42.120 be something that really gives it to him. It's like 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.360 the industry. I think we can really this is our 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.599 chance to really show the Biz that we are hot 0:04:47.640 --> 0:04:50.640 messing around. I'm just thinking about how deadline is going 0:04:50.680 --> 0:04:54.800 to be eating their hats. The BIZ is not going 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.640 to know what hit him. Well, once they listen to 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:13.760 saved by the ELMORE. Welcome to save it by the Belmore. 0:05:14.000 --> 0:05:17.840 With me, Mr Stephen Belmore, and this is our very 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:21.320 first episode and I could not be more excited. My 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:25.640 name is Mr Stephen Belmore. I'm a theater, improvisational comedy, 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:30.479 public speaking and home economics teacher at Lakeland public high school. 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:33.920 I took the job five years ago, you know, and 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:38.279 I paid to have for the gifted and talented added 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:41.200 to the sign for the school, because I think it's 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:44.000 important that kids, even if they have no gifts and 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:48.000 no talents, feel like they do. I am still paying 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:50.480 off my credit card debt for that charge, so it 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:53.400 wasn't fully worth it and it was vandalized. I have 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.240 a degree in theater, arts and home economics from the 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:01.600 University of Tucson Online. I felt into home economics, as 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:05.000 artists types like myself tend to do. I had to 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:09.040 take a finance credit to complete my degree and somehow 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:14.040 mistook home economics for an actual economics course. I did 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.440 not learn about how to invest, but I did learn 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:20.520 how the difference between baking powder and baking soda does 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.920 actually matter, which is not something I ever knew before. 0:06:24.279 --> 0:06:27.880 Speaking of degrees, the rumors are true, I'm getting an 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:33.200 honorary doctoral degree from the St Croix School of acting. Finally, 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.640 especially because I've been on so many zoom meetings and 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:39.680 I've donated so much to the school already via Venmo, 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:43.200 and I really hope that someday, when I get down 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.400 to that passport office, I'll be able to get a 0:06:45.480 --> 0:06:47.560 passport and I'll be able to travel and I'll be 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.680 able to show the acting skills that I possess. I 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:58.040 have unlimited experiences in acting and producing and writing and directing, singing, dancing, dancing, 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:03.200 pop dancing, ballet dancing, jazz dancing, tap arm flailing, Har 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:08.760 Ography and more so, the big question, how does an 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.560 irreplaceable talent like myself end up in a public servant job? Well, 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:17.920 quite simply really. I I took the job after my 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:22.000 parents cut me off. Okay, I started teaching the day 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:25.280 after my parents did come into my my wing of 0:07:25.360 --> 0:07:27.800 the House, and they cut me off and they told 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:30.800 me that I would no longer be able to produce 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:34.400 my one man show the crucible, where I played all 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:37.880 the parts in the crucible, with the exception of John Proctor, 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:41.440 who I did cut from the show entirely. But Alas, 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:45.600 I'm not alone here. I could never do saved by 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:50.160 the bellmore without my trustee steed. Wow, well, I don't 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.840 know how I'm comparable to a horse, but yeah, I 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:57.240 get it. It's a compliment. Steeds are strong. Okay, Cindy 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:01.239 is not only my producer, she rents a room for me. Actually, 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:05.120 I did live here first. The details are murky, especially 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:07.520 after you met with that lawyer and had yourself added 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.440 to the deed of the house, Cindy, that's just good 0:08:11.520 --> 0:08:14.160 business sense. Okay, no matter where I go, I add 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.840 my name to the deed of that house. That's common 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:20.360 knowledge about me. It's on my facebook page. It's about 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:25.720 protecting yourself. Now, what do we know about Cindy? I'll explain, Cindy. 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:29.280 Thank you so much. Cindy's kids left for college and 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:32.480 her husband left as well, only he was not going 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.280 to Sunni on I Anta. He was going to a 0:08:35.360 --> 0:08:39.800 new life with an unnamed real housewife of New York 0:08:39.880 --> 0:08:44.840 City who did used to be some kind of royalty. Well, well, well, 0:08:44.960 --> 0:08:49.319 he didn't leave me necessarily. Sometimes, when we text he 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:54.360 says he may come back, you know. So there's there's hope. Okay, Cindy, 0:08:54.480 --> 0:08:57.880 let's not let's not get too sad here. All right, UM, 0:08:58.920 --> 0:09:01.439 Cindy has worked for me since the show came to 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:05.160 fruition in my mind last year. We've been working. See, see, 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:07.480 I don't know about working because you know, I've never 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:10.679 gotten a paycheck. Speaking of Um, the electric bill has 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:13.959 gone a considerable since producing a live radio show in 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:17.360 my addicate. Cindy, well, maybe if you didn't have to 0:09:17.440 --> 0:09:20.960 teach yourself how to edit using youtube videos. I told 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:22.959 you that I was thinking about doing this years ago, 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.920 and you're the one who insisted on waiting to learn. 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:30.280 Cindy is not only my producer, are you, sind she's 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:35.160 my best friend and, of course, my favorite cousin, besides 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:37.840 Gloria and Adam, but I just have a lot more 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:42.560 in common with Gloria and Adam. You understand totally. Yeah, 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:46.640 I mean, I don't love how Gloria now always refers 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:49.520 to me as your assistant instead of as your sister. 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:53.839 But yeah, yeah, she's great. She is so great. I 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.600 wish she could be here, but she's still happily married. 0:09:58.040 --> 0:10:01.680 Oh God, Cindy, are you ready to to our first segment? 0:10:02.200 --> 0:10:07.600 So it's called. Don't interrupt me, Cindy's okay, it's believe 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:15.120 it or not. So, Cindy, thank you so much. God. 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.720 She loves a good joke. I do love that about her. Cindy, 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:21.840 you know that this segment is where we will chat 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:25.679 and chat, gossip about things I'm hearing, about things I 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.640 need to tell other people in case they need to 0:10:28.720 --> 0:10:34.360 be protected from other people's terrible words. Speaking of, guess who, 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:38.679 I'm not on speaking terms with none other than my 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:42.199 friend of me turned boss, Miss Amy Joe Fletcher, the 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:48.559 principle of Lakeland high school. I Love Amy Joe. No, 0:10:48.760 --> 0:10:51.559 we used to love Amy Joe, and that is before 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.240 she decided to make it her own personal mission to 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:57.640 make me look like some sort of scumbag. She told 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:01.000 me that talking down to my students is a bad 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.480 look for the school, a bad look for me personally 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:07.000 and a bad look for the L G B T 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:11.480 q a a community in general. Let me ask you something. 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:16.760 Who exactly is Miss Amy Joe Fletcher to discuss anything 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:21.959 about the LGBT plus community? Well, just fact checking. She 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:25.719 has been married to a woman for about eight years now. 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.280 Of course she's The l she has to be first 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:35.720 in everything, and that's a that was a joke, Sind now, okay, 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.320 thank you so much. Anyway, ever since Amy Joe has 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:42.560 decided she doesn't want to be friends with a fat person, 0:11:42.880 --> 0:11:44.679 and I'm assuming that's what it is. I don't know 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:48.800 what else it possibly could be. I I did decide 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.959 to switch kickboxing JIM's. Will join a kickboxing Jim, I 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.440 guess I should say, to meet Amy Joe's wife, Bonnie, 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.839 and you know what? IT TURNS OUT BONNIE LOVES TO 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.439 BE AN ASSHOLE too. She wouldn't even spar with me 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:08.480 because she said I have, quote unquote, intense vibes. Well, 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:12.320 what was your breathing like? It was like it was normal, 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:15.679 like normal, too heavy. Are you doing that like teeth 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.640 gritting thing you do when you're doing anything physical? I 0:12:18.720 --> 0:12:20.920 don't know, Cindy, I wasn't looking in a mirror the 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.439 whole time. I'm not obsessed with myself like some people. 0:12:25.200 --> 0:12:27.800 I'm I'm only saying because, you know, usually Bonnie is 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:30.760 so nice. She was my husband's nurse when he broke 0:12:30.840 --> 0:12:34.160 his leg flong off the ladder that Christmas. I cannot 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.640 believe you're bringing this back to your husband. It's not 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:40.240 a good look. Um. Let's let's move on. Okay, to 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:45.240 my plan. My plan to befriend Bonnie failed, which means 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:50.199 my life is miserable, even though I am the director 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:54.160 of the Lakeland High Theater Department. For whatever reason, I'm 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:58.000 supposed to get approval for the shows I choose to 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:02.800 put on at Lakeland High, again my department, and even 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:07.760 though I constantly present original works, uh, like one man's 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:11.320 journey a memoir about one man's journey, the Stephen Belmore 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:16.200 journey story. Thank you so much, Miss Mary Hack. An 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:19.719 original musical about growing up in a small town, the 0:13:19.880 --> 0:13:23.560 rise of Stephen Belmore. It's, it's, it's thank you so much. 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.520 You know a lot of people didn't get that piece 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.120 and I knew you were there every night and I 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:32.240 appreciate that, Cindy, but she went ahead and she rejected 0:13:32.400 --> 0:13:35.960 hell on three inch heels, a musical about a failed 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:38.360 dre queen who has to go back to college and 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:42.920 become a teacher. The lead is named Stephen Belmore. I 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:46.839 do love hell on three inch heels. I mean the 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:50.600 music was amazing. I am still dealing through the legal 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.839 matters there because, as you know, it was all of 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:57.120 DULPA's music and Um somehow she did find out, so 0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.280 we are in a legal battle there. The point is 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:04.720 the only show she has approved is rent, anything goes, 0:14:05.360 --> 0:14:07.839 or Greece. So we have now done those on a 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.480 rotation over the past five springs and over the past 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.160 five falls. So when I was told I had to 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:18.319 do rent again, it was time to get inventive. What 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:21.120 did you do? Are you trying to play Mimi again? No, 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.760 so I actually did try holding outside auditions for just 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.360 the principal roles. I was still going to bulk up 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:31.120 the chorus with these students who God knows what's going 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.080 on there. But not only was I told to take 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:37.520 the posting down, I was not reimbursed from my backstage 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:40.920 dot com manual membership fee. So now I have to 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:45.000 go ahead and listen to a bunch of untalented kids 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.600 sing rent at me, and I can't even afford my 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:53.480 netflix premium membership to wind down, but you use my 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:57.720 netflix membership. And on top of everything, they promoted Mrs 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.840 Bittner as the head of the Home Economics Department. Well, 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:05.280 that's good. You hate home economics. I know I do, Cindy, 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.000 but I love being in charge much more than I 0:15:08.120 --> 0:15:12.120 hate home economics. So anyway, I trashed your classroom. I 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:14.960 blamed it on Ryan mcmurphy. You remember him. His parents 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:17.440 were divorced. He's been acting out. Nobody questioned it, but 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.600 still it stressed me out. You know, how about we 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:28.280 switch over to your favorite topic, drama? Oh my God, 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:30.680 I know we haven't even gotten to the drama yet. Okay, 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:35.080 because we absolutely must discuss Miss Samantha Jones Wakowski. Now, 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.080 we all remember Samantha Jones Wakowski. She's a student of mine. 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:42.040 She has gay Dads, Michael are and Michael M and 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.400 I did used to be friends with them. They stopped 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.640 talking to me because I cast Samantha Jones as the lead. Again. 0:15:47.760 --> 0:15:51.120 Her first name is Samantha Jones and she'll be very 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.480 upset if you refer to her as anything other than that, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.040 which I always did. I said I wish it was 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.200 Carrie and she would always be upset by that. But Anyway, 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.080 she did have Gay Dad. So I cast her as 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:03.400 the lead and then immediately took it away because she 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:07.440 had an acne flare up the week before the show. Yeah, 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.880 I know nothing against her personally, but she was purely 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:15.600 cast as sandy because she had the look, not the talent. 0:16:16.280 --> 0:16:18.720 If I had been casting for a proactive commercial, she 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:23.920 would have been more than welcome. Of course, Amaga feelings. 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:26.800 What are the michaels up to now? Well, they did 0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.640 start to change that organ petition to remove me as 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:33.160 the director of the theater department. So I yeah, can 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.480 you believe that ship? So I went ahead and I 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:39.640 called the adoption agency where the michaels found Samantha. Everything 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:42.080 checked out with their paperwork. There was nothing wrong, which 0:16:42.160 --> 0:16:44.200 is unfortunate for me. So I'm going to have to 0:16:44.280 --> 0:17:01.320 figure out something drastic now. Oh, did I tell you 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:05.360 about Damien? Remember Damian, my ex fling? He's very hot, 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.840 very masculine, which I love. Obviously, mask for mask, like 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:12.320 I always say, and I like to feel safe, you know, 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:14.840 he he always makes me feel safe, and that's why 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:17.280 I've always kept a machete under my pillow. It just 0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:22.160 provides the peace of mind. Steve, Steven Machete. Yeah, it's 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:25.600 it's like a large knife. No, I know what what 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:29.320 that is. That that's the upsetting part. I know, imagine 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:32.080 how I feel. I sleep with it under my pillow. 0:17:32.600 --> 0:17:34.679 I think about it all the time. I feel very safe. 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:38.040 But Anyway, Damien made me feel like he was my 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:41.920 machete under the pillow, if that makes sense. And he 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:45.600 was just the Hottest School Janitor, Immaculate Dresser, you know, 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:50.520 fabulous Kisser who, for some reason I thought loved me. 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:53.680 You know, I really did, and he also maybe thought 0:17:53.840 --> 0:17:57.119 that I was cast in an unnamed Broadway show. And 0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:00.320 then I had to um break up with him because 0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.960 I do not want everyone thinking I was cast in 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.520 a Broadway show. I'm so sick of this fame following 0:18:06.600 --> 0:18:09.960 me around. I'm sick of people spreading the rumors that 0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:14.159 I already have been in toty award winning musicals. You know, 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:18.359 it's crazy. So many people talk about how I was 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:22.960 on Broadway and it's just obsessed with me much, you know. 0:18:23.600 --> 0:18:27.159 But every time I go into the janitor's closet he 0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:32.880 waves at me and we've had just is Damien gay? 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:37.359 I thought he was married. Well, the semantics on that 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.560 are the reason that all of the dates happened in 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:45.160 the school is because we're both very busy. Okay, let's 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.480 there's pictures of his sister and him at a wedding 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:52.200 in his office, but that's a difference. In the well, 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:57.719 we call it his office. Don't talk down you know. Finally, 0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:00.680 let's move on. Let's talk about six teen year old 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:05.880 McKenna Nightingale who, at sixteen, has officially received more nose 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:09.480 jobs than her terrible mother, Eileen, who once called New 0:19:09.560 --> 0:19:11.520 York one to come and do a story about me 0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.680 because I said McKenna had the dancing talent of a 0:19:14.760 --> 0:19:18.280 pigeon in a hurricane, the singing talent of Siam Alakar 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:21.520 from American idol season six, and the acting talent of 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:26.560 Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina. Okay, and on that note, I 0:19:26.680 --> 0:19:29.440 think it's time for our first guest. Oh, you do 0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.639 love to stay on track. I can always count on 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.399 Cindy to keep me on track. You're welcome. Let me 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:37.360 bring in today's guest. Not only is she a dear 0:19:37.480 --> 0:19:41.040 friend and a bartender, she's a head bartender. That's right, 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:44.400 we have none other than Miss Tanya matrimony, the head 0:19:44.440 --> 0:19:47.840 bartender at rock bottom exotic dance club, the Strip club 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:57.439 just down the street from Lakeland high. Welcome Tanya, Tanya, uh, 0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:01.520 thanks so much for having me, Stephen, I'm so happy 0:20:01.560 --> 0:20:04.400 to be here. UH, because Cindy said on the phone 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:06.639 that you had the fifty dollars you borrowed from I 0:20:06.720 --> 0:20:10.600 am so happy that you are here to Tanya. Tanya 0:20:10.680 --> 0:20:13.200 and I met when her son, miles, who was a 0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:16.080 student of mine before, of course, he was expelled for 0:20:16.320 --> 0:20:21.679 allegedly planting cocaine on another teacher and I publicly supported 0:20:21.720 --> 0:20:25.359 miles instead of the teacher, whose name escapes me because 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:28.480 legally I'm not allowed to say it, and Tanya and 0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:31.680 I just became fast friends. We were chatting on facebook, 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:35.960 and Donna was when I was bartending at packaged slings, 0:20:36.400 --> 0:20:39.600 the all male review downtown. Well, I don't think we 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:44.560 need to waste time on those semantics. Yeah, we have to, 0:20:44.640 --> 0:20:49.680 we have to. Let's get some semantics. It's just different memories. Well, 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:52.399 that could have been I have a face of a 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:54.840 lot of people say, actually, I look like Zac Efron, 0:20:55.320 --> 0:21:00.800 so maybe that's who you saw. O, you have questions 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:03.840 for me. I guess my first question is, why are 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:06.920 you laughing so hard about me looking like Zac Efron? 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:11.400 I'm not getting those fifty dollars, an't i. Let's move 0:21:11.440 --> 0:21:15.080 into the questions. You know when Um, you're right, I 0:21:15.200 --> 0:21:17.760 need to be like Anderson Cooper here and ask the 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:22.560 hard questions. As head bartender at the most exclusive, exotic 0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:25.479 dance cub within a mile of the public school, how 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:29.000 many teachers do you see on a regular basis? To 0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:31.680 be honest, you know, we got a lot of big 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:35.479 spenders at this bar and I feel like teachers are 0:21:35.520 --> 0:21:38.240 pretty broke. No, we do see some. I don't know 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:41.439 if it's cool to say their names. Maybe just if 0:21:41.480 --> 0:21:45.600 I guess. Will you say yes or no? Mary Joe Fletcher, 0:21:45.720 --> 0:21:49.000 the principal. She's a lesbian, you know. No, I feel 0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:52.000 like she really is happy with her wife. Oh, so 0:21:52.200 --> 0:21:57.399 you know Bonnie as well. Very interesting. Yeah, they're really cute. 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:01.240 I always see them at Loews. Remember lows. They're they're 0:22:02.080 --> 0:22:07.360 they're really nice. You've seen them at lows. Probably spending 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:11.880 taxpayer money, I would assume, on things to what, build pools, 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:16.400 to build an ivory tower on their land. I mean 0:22:16.480 --> 0:22:18.520 it's yeah, I think they had like a ceiling leak, 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:22.560 so they were like we're fixing that, um, because they 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:24.760 said they got a praise and it was like would 0:22:24.800 --> 0:22:27.440 be like twenty or thirty dollars and they couldn't afford it, 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:32.119 so they were just trying to fix it themselves. So sweet. 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:36.119 What a sweet couple. Um. Well, I do know that 0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:40.680 several of your coworkers are Lakeland parents. Let me ask you, 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:46.200 who do you hate the most? Barbara or Amanta? I 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:49.000 know that they're both full time over there because I 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:54.360 do follow them on instagram under a fake instagram account. Yeah, 0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:57.000 I mean, you know, it's like a job anywhere else 0:22:57.080 --> 0:22:59.679 and like, for the most part, where we all get along, 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:03.640 but some days, under stress like they can get annoying. 0:23:05.040 --> 0:23:09.080 You heard it here first, folks, Amanda is annoying at work. 0:23:09.240 --> 0:23:13.560 Tell us everything that she does. Does she clock out early? No, please, 0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:16.560 off forwards in my mouth. I was just saying that, 0:23:16.720 --> 0:23:20.600 like any any coworkers, can have days that they're annoying. 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:23.320 I probably have days where I'm annoying. I would agree 0:23:23.359 --> 0:23:28.639 with that. Uh, let's let's move on. Since somebody apparently 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:32.639 is keeping the secrets under lock and key, what do 0:23:32.720 --> 0:23:34.680 I have to do to get in there? Knock, knock, Knack. 0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:38.280 A gossip podcast, you know, you told me that if 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:41.520 I come, that Steve will give me the fifty dollars 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:43.399 that he borrowed from me. I don't know, I was 0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:47.040 coming on a gossip podcast. We'll, we'll talk about this. Uh, 0:23:47.440 --> 0:23:51.000 I'll send you an email afterwards. Yeah, thank you. Um, 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.720 you don't even have my email, cindy, we'll find it. 0:23:54.000 --> 0:23:57.800 Let's move on. A lot of people have said that 0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:01.600 I have the seductiveness and Dan experience required to be 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:05.920 an adult entertainer. Thank you, Cindy. WHO said that? Cindy? 0:24:06.280 --> 0:24:09.919 Steve's got a body that won't quit. All right, yeah, Cindy, 0:24:10.040 --> 0:24:14.440 among others. Cindy's friends on instagram are always begging her 0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:17.920 to go live with me. It's true. So Cindy has 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:21.240 fifty eight followers, and ten of them are your family 0:24:21.640 --> 0:24:25.359 and they're all fans. Yeah, just Rome wasn't built in 0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:29.400 a day. Okay, you know, just twenty years ago, Kim 0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:33.760 Kardashian didn't even have any followers on instagram. Well, twenty 0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:40.159 years ago instagram didn't exist. INSTAGRAM has only been around since. Well, so, so, 0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:43.560 do you think Steve would have a job as an 0:24:43.680 --> 0:24:48.280 entertainer at the club? People are into everything these days. 0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:52.240 So do I think there'll be a crowd of people 0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:57.240 that would be into Steve Danson? Yes, yes, wow, that 0:24:57.480 --> 0:25:00.159 is who wouldn't want to see a ZAC Efron look like? 0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:04.800 I think you could pull a big crowd, Steve. Okay, well, 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:08.000 we already know Cindy's in that crowd, and you know 0:25:08.080 --> 0:25:10.320 it's a crowd for one, so that's great. Yeah, I 0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:12.920 can't help but notice that you must be feeling a 0:25:13.000 --> 0:25:17.359 little bit PTSD. We haven't really talked since miles was expelled. 0:25:18.520 --> 0:25:23.639 How's he adjusting to his new school? Miles, you know, 0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:27.480 he's literally playing video games right now and calling people 0:25:27.960 --> 0:25:31.840 all kinds of words on, you know, xbox live whatever. 0:25:32.000 --> 0:25:34.760 He's a little asshole, but I love him. Yes, that 0:25:34.920 --> 0:25:38.240 sounds like him. That sounds like him. What a great kid. Yeah, 0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:40.639 he's just he's a little asshole, but he's my little asshole. 0:25:40.680 --> 0:25:43.800 You know what I'm saying. I did see on the 0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:46.480 news he was stealing a bunch of Robatas and from 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:49.000 right aid. I saw him in the background there. I 0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:51.159 wanted to find out if you had any of that 0:25:51.480 --> 0:25:55.680