Speaker 1: You need to stop the rat race, get yourself off
Speaker 1: that hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at
Speaker 1: what is actually happening. Get the bigger picture, take a
Speaker 1: step back for a second and see what's truly going on.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we
Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes
Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the
Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress
Speaker 1: to you will feel. I'm Radivlukiah and on my podcast
Speaker 1: A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful,
Speaker 1: providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability
Speaker 1: and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and
Speaker 1: find comfort together. Well, hello there, you absolutely wonderful human beings.
Speaker 2: How are you.
Speaker 1: I hope you've all had such a wonderful week. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for coming back to A Really Good Cry.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it so much so. I actually went to
Speaker 1: India at the beginning of the year. Jay and I
Speaker 1: take this trip to a place called Govden Eco Village
Speaker 1: every single year for our spiritual reset, but this year
Speaker 1: felt a little bit differ. We both came away from
Speaker 1: it feeling like we had gained so much, so much clarity,
Speaker 1: so many realizations, and some serious decompression that was needed
Speaker 1: after the year that we had had. But it also
Speaker 1: made me realize how deep rooted stress can be. The
Speaker 1: place we went to is beautiful. It has greenery everywhere,
Speaker 1: it's in the middle of a forest. It's so quiet,
Speaker 1: it's peaceful. There are these beautiful temples scattered around the grounds.
Speaker 1: There are so many magical, sacred spaces. The sounds sound godly.
Speaker 1: The whole place feels like a spiritual world, and it
Speaker 1: was so it was the perfect environment to just feel
Speaker 1: stress free. But the first few days my mind was
Speaker 1: still so high strung. It was constantly asking me, what's next.
Speaker 1: You've got things to do. Stop sitting around. What we're
Speaker 1: going to be doing now? Why are you not doing anything?
Speaker 1: Come on onto the next, onto the next. And you
Speaker 1: know what, that thought process and this constant anxious and
Speaker 1: stress inducing state is something any of us go through
Speaker 1: throughout our whole year. And look, the fact is that
Speaker 1: stress is just a part of life, whether it's work, deadlines,
Speaker 1: family drama, or trying to balance different parts of our life,
Speaker 1: some larger stresses, some small, some expected some unexpected. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, without coping mechanisms and trying to tackle
Speaker 1: the emotions and mental pressure of it all on a
Speaker 1: regular basis, it can just build and build until it
Speaker 1: all just feels like too much. For me, that looks
Speaker 1: like locking myself in the dark room and crying. For others,
Speaker 1: it could lead to feelings of depression or high level anxiety,
Speaker 1: or just this feeling of this inability to actually function.
Speaker 1: And you know the thing is, sometimes it becomes so
Speaker 1: normal for us to live in that state we don't
Speaker 1: even realize that we're living in a stress state. Stress
Speaker 1: can manifest in the body in so many different ways. Physically,
Speaker 1: it can show up as headaches or digestive issues, feeling
Speaker 1: tired all the time, even if you're sleeping a lot,
Speaker 1: feeling restless or you can't fall asleep. It can cause
Speaker 1: appetite changes like binging or cravings, or you could lose
Speaker 1: your appetite completely. It can lead to hair loss or
Speaker 1: graying early. You can also tend to unhealthy habits like
Speaker 1: drinking or drugs, and other signs are things like jaw clenching,
Speaker 1: which sometimes you don't even realize you're doing until you
Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and your jaw is hurting
Speaker 1: so much.
Speaker 2: I do that a lot.
Speaker 1: I grind my teeth sometimes when I'm stressed in my sleep,
Speaker 1: or I clench my jaw a lot when I'm working
Speaker 1: or when I'm sleeping too. Another thing I found is
Speaker 1: when I'm stressed out, the stress seeps into my dreams.
Speaker 1: And I don't know whether anyone's had this before, but
Speaker 1: my dreams get really intense, and so the stress that
Speaker 1: I'm feeling, mixed with the worries that I'm having, all
Speaker 1: culminate in my subconscious And not only am I stress
Speaker 1: during the day, I stress sleep too. I've gone through
Speaker 1: periods where I'm actually waking up crying because whatever I
Speaker 1: was stressed about or anxious about has actually come into
Speaker 1: my dream and become a reality in my dream. And
Speaker 1: I've woken up with tears pouring out of my eyes.
Speaker 1: And so even if we're trying to pretend like it
Speaker 1: doesn't exist, somehow, our body, our mind, it's feeling it
Speaker 1: every single moment that we are feeling it. I also
Speaker 1: find things like nail biting or fidgeting, or trying to
Speaker 1: overplan or become a perfectionist. I notice when I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm out of control of things in my life,
Speaker 1: or I'm stressed out about other parts of my life.
Speaker 1: I become an organizer. I become a hyper planner. I
Speaker 1: want to control everything because it makes sense, right when
Speaker 1: we feel like we're out of control of something else,
Speaker 1: we try to control other parts of my life that
Speaker 1: feel controllable. So it's a very natural response. But these
Speaker 1: are all signs that you might be just a little
Speaker 1: bit too stressed. Now I know that these could also
Speaker 1: be signs of other things. There's so many different signs
Speaker 1: that I just mention and it could be due to
Speaker 1: other things. But usually if you really stop to think
Speaker 1: about it, your body and your mind will tell you
Speaker 1: whether you are stressed or not, or that something's just
Speaker 1: not right. But in case you're unsure whether you are
Speaker 1: stressed or not and you.
Speaker 2: Need the confirmation.
Speaker 1: These are five questions that I usually ask myself to
Speaker 1: really understand what I'm going through. The first one is
Speaker 1: am I feeling physically tense or exhausted even after resting.
Speaker 1: The second one to ask yourself is am I having
Speaker 1: trouble sleeping or concentrating. The third one is am I
Speaker 1: feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed by everyday tasks. It's like
Speaker 1: your top gets caught on the doorknob and suddenly you
Speaker 1: just burst out in tears.
Speaker 2: Actually that happens to be when I'm on my period.
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, just random things that
Speaker 1: you wouldn't normally be upset about, barring the time that
Speaker 1: you're on your period, you are just getting over emotional, irritable,
Speaker 1: and you're reacting in a way that you wouldn't normally
Speaker 1: for Have I been neglecting self care like healthy eating
Speaker 1: or taking time to relax at my self care? I
Speaker 1: don't mean the luxury things like getting your nails done
Speaker 1: or you know, going to get a hair trim. What
Speaker 1: I mean are the basics to uphold your wellness in
Speaker 1: your day to day life. Are you eating the right
Speaker 1: foods for your mental state, for your physical body to
Speaker 1: nourish it to do all the things that you were
Speaker 1: doing to cope with the stress that you were going through.
Speaker 1: Are you sleeping in the right way? Are you creating
Speaker 1: the right environment around you? You know, the basic things
Speaker 1: that you need to actually create optimal health and optimal living.
Speaker 1: Are you neglecting those when you use to prioritize them.
Speaker 1: And the last one is what are the most repeated
Speaker 1: thoughts I am having in my day? Usually sometimes you
Speaker 1: only need to ask that one question, what am I
Speaker 1: thinking about regularly? What are the repeated thoughts that are
Speaker 1: going through my mind? And when you notice that they
Speaker 1: are more anxious thoughts or more negative thoughts, and it's
Speaker 1: out of balance compared to the positive thoughts or the
Speaker 1: grateful thoughts, or the thoughts that life is good and
Speaker 1: great and I can do this and I'm happy and
Speaker 1: I'm well. But your mind is telling you all the
Speaker 1: bad things that are happening in your life more than that,
Speaker 1: then that can be a sign that you're imbalanced. Because
Speaker 1: the things that you think about is what you become.
Speaker 1: And so the more you think about the things that
Speaker 1: are stressing you out, the more you think about the
Speaker 1: negative things, the more you see the negative things, and
Speaker 1: then that is exactly what we end up becoming. And
Speaker 1: so those are the five questions that I recommend you
Speaker 1: ask yourself to really assess whether you are stressed if
Speaker 1: you're in denial. If the answer is yes to a
Speaker 1: lot of these, then it's probably an indication that you
Speaker 1: are in need of my Ultimate Stress Reset Formula. And
Speaker 1: this is something that I have created because I've gone
Speaker 1: through a lot of stressful moments in my life. I
Speaker 1: used to be a highly anxious person. I still can
Speaker 1: ebb and flow through being that, and so I would
Speaker 1: feel very stressed and very anxious, and it would kind
Speaker 1: of take over and encapsulate me, even when it was small,
Speaker 1: even when it was something I knew wasn't something to
Speaker 1: be that anxious about. It would just take over my
Speaker 1: entire body and mind. And so I created these three
Speaker 1: steps after reflecting on how I got myself out of
Speaker 1: those moments and how I've got to this stage where
Speaker 1: I'm able to really manage those stressful times and those
Speaker 1: anxious moments so much better.
Speaker 2: And so I'm actually.
Speaker 1: Speaking from experience rather than theory, and so I'm hoping
Speaker 1: that these tips really do help you through your stress
Speaker 1: and anxiety. So I've broken these coping mechanisms down into
Speaker 1: three steps. First step is stop, the second step is recalibrate,
Speaker 1: and the third step is release. So let me take
Speaker 1: you through them one by one step one stop. First off,
Speaker 1: we need to get you out of your head. You
Speaker 1: need to stop the rat race, get yourself off that
Speaker 1: hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at what
Speaker 1: is actually happening, get the bigger picture, take a step
Speaker 1: back for a second and see what's truly going on.
Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we
Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes
Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the
Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress
Speaker 1: to you will feel. And that feels pretty simple and logical.
Speaker 1: But when you're constantly on the go and you're choosing
Speaker 1: not to think about it, that realization is really important.
Speaker 2: So we have to hit the pause button.
Speaker 1: And so my favorite, absolute favorite way to do this
Speaker 1: is through breathwork. Now, do not underestimate how powerful breath
Speaker 1: work is. And if you're someone that's never done breathwork before,
Speaker 1: you're probably thinking, Okay, this is just another meditation woo
Speaker 1: woo thing that is actually not going to help me.
Speaker 1: But listen to me when I say there is so
Speaker 1: much scientific evidence behind breathwork, more so than the pills
Speaker 1: that you are popping. So if you are skeptical about breathwork,
Speaker 1: the proof is in the pudding. All you have to
Speaker 1: do is try.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to take you through one right now.
Speaker 2: I'm going to take you.
Speaker 1: Through it because breathwork has changed everything from my asthma,
Speaker 1: so a physical thing that I had going on, to
Speaker 1: my anxiety, to my stress, to my sleep, to my workouts.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's changed everything. As soon as you
Speaker 1: master your breath, you master your mind and your emotions.
Speaker 1: So do not underestimate breathwork. One simple deep breath can
Speaker 1: change your whole mood. And I'm not saying that it's
Speaker 1: going to take away what you're stressed about, but I
Speaker 1: can guarantee it will give you the clarity and calm
Speaker 1: that you need to be able to handle whatever it
Speaker 1: is that you are going through without feeling overwhelmed. So
Speaker 1: we're going to take in. We're going to do this together.
Speaker 1: Come on, people, Okay, let's get in the zone. If
Speaker 1: you can close your eyes listeners in the car, please
Speaker 1: do not close your eyes. We're going to take one
Speaker 1: deep breath in for one, two three four, hold a
Speaker 1: little bit at the top, and then breathe out for one,
Speaker 1: two three four. I'm going to take the breath so
Speaker 1: you can hear it at the same time and continue
Speaker 1: to do this with me for another five breaths. As
Speaker 1: you're breathing in, you should feel your stomach coming outwards
Speaker 1: and expanding, And as you're breathing out, you should feel
Speaker 1: your stomach contracting and going inward. Honestly, just me taking
Speaker 1: those two breaths with you, my whole mind feels calmer.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm speaking slower. I feel so much
Speaker 1: more clear in my mind. And that's a simple box breath.
Speaker 1: You breathe in for four, you hold it at the
Speaker 1: top for like a couple of seconds, and then you
Speaker 1: let go for four. And it is that simple. You
Speaker 1: can do that for five minutes or even a couple
Speaker 1: of minutes, or multiple times throughout the day, every time
Speaker 1: you notice little signs or symptoms of stress picking up.
Speaker 1: And if that one wasn't enough for you, if you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, give me something more. I've been doing
Speaker 1: that breath work for a while now I'm an expert.
Speaker 1: Give me another one. Another breath work I love doing
Speaker 1: is breathing in and then almost make a sighing sound
Speaker 1: on the way out. So let me do it for you.
Speaker 2: It goes.
Speaker 1: And you can make whatever sound comes out. It can
Speaker 1: be a scream, it may be a cry. It may
Speaker 1: be a squeal, it may be a laugh. You'll be
Speaker 1: surprised what comes out when you do this breath work.
Speaker 1: But usually anxiety is when our thoughts are trapped in
Speaker 1: our mind. And I'm personally noticed that when you create
Speaker 1: some sort of sound vibration in your body, that sound
Speaker 1: vibration travels through you and it starts to stare things up.
Speaker 1: It gets things out of your body, and it just
Speaker 1: creates a different environment, and it helps to remove these
Speaker 1: stagnant thoughts which are trapped inside of our mind, helps
Speaker 1: to release them. So those two simple breathworks. There are
Speaker 1: so many more I could teach you, but honestly, let's
Speaker 1: keep it simple.
Speaker 2: The box breath.
Speaker 1: Every single time you feel your mind starting to travel,
Speaker 1: starting to think about all the things that you can't control,
Speaker 1: try breathing for four counts in, holding at the top,
Speaker 1: and four counts out. And then if you want to
Speaker 1: try something else, try the cye breath. If you're not
Speaker 1: in public and you're in the comforts of your own home,
Speaker 1: try and get those vibrations, the sound vibrations flowing through
Speaker 1: your body. You can even actually do a humming sound
Speaker 1: after it. So you take a deep breath in and
Speaker 1: you do this when you come out, and that's actually
Speaker 1: such a calming breathwork to do. Even within one you'll
Speaker 1: notice a difference. Also, one thing, I'm a victim of this,
Speaker 1: and I don't know whether you are, but I'll share
Speaker 1: it anyway. You need to stop trying to fix the
Speaker 1: issue right away. Oh my god, I'm such a fixer.
Speaker 1: Whether it's something I'm anxious about or something someone else
Speaker 1: is anxious about, I'm like, I have to fix it
Speaker 1: straight away, find the solution. But the thing is, trying
Speaker 1: to solve anything in a stress state is never going
Speaker 1: to be as effective or efficient as solving it in
Speaker 1: a calm state. Stress often feels worse because we pressure
Speaker 1: ourselves into solving the problem instantly. But you might not
Speaker 1: have the answer right now, and that's also okay, And
Speaker 1: if you try to force the answer, you'll probably get
Speaker 1: it wrong or do the wrong thing. Your mind is
Speaker 1: basically like a snow globe. When you shake it, you
Speaker 1: literally can't see anything in there, and that's pretty much
Speaker 1: what your mind in emotions look like when you are stressed.
Speaker 1: As soon as the snow settles, you are more likely
Speaker 1: to see clearly and take better steps. Towards fixing it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes clarity comes when you stop forcing it. The next
Speaker 1: step is called recalibrate.
Speaker 2: So I had this.
Speaker 1: Problem once, and it has often helped me when I'm
Speaker 1: anxious about things that I have absolutely no control over,
Speaker 1: which is, unfortunately how our mind.
Speaker 2: Tends to work.
Speaker 1: We focus on the things that we can't do anything about,
Speaker 1: rather than the things that we can do something about.
Speaker 1: So it goes something like this. A farmer in a
Speaker 1: village owned a single horse that helped him plow his fields.
Speaker 1: One day, the horse ran away. The villagers came to
Speaker 1: console him, saying, oh my goodness, what bad luck. The
Speaker 1: farmer simply replied, good thing, bad thing, who knows. A
Speaker 1: week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a group
Speaker 1: of wild horses. The villagers said, oh my goodness, what
Speaker 1: great fortune you have, and again the farmer replied, good thing,
Speaker 1: bad thing, who knows. Soon after that, the farmer's son
Speaker 1: tried to tame one of the wild horses, and he
Speaker 1: broke his leg in the process. The villagers once again
Speaker 1: gathered and said, what terrible misfortune you have, and the farmer,
Speaker 1: once again, calm as before, said, good thing, bad thing,
Speaker 1: who knows. Not long After that, the army came to
Speaker 1: the village recruiting young men for the war. Because the
Speaker 1: farmer's son was injured, he was sped. The villagers marveled
Speaker 1: to the farmer, but he simply said, good thing, bad thing.
Speaker 2: Who knows.
Speaker 1: The lesson I got from this is that life is
Speaker 1: constantly shifting, and what may seem like a disaster, the
Speaker 1: most disastrous thing that you you have ever been through,
Speaker 1: might lead to something better down the road, or be
Speaker 1: saving us from something else coming our way. So when
Speaker 1: you're stressed, recalibrate, step back and see what is it
Speaker 1: that I can do about the situation, and what is
Speaker 1: it that I cannot do, and then take action on
Speaker 1: the things you can and find peace with the things
Speaker 1: you cannot. Recalibrating means giving your mind a mental reset
Speaker 1: that helps you to shift from fight or flight to
Speaker 1: pause and plan, because you know what, especially if you've
Speaker 1: been through a lot and been through a negative mind
Speaker 1: space for a while. Even though positivity feels attractive and
Speaker 1: you may know theoretically it's where you want to live,
Speaker 1: it feels difficult and sometimes it feels unfamiliar if we
Speaker 1: haven't been there in a long while, and so It
Speaker 1: just takes these constant recalibrations to retrain and rewire our
Speaker 1: mind's reactions to the stresses that we feel in life.
Speaker 1: So let me make this a little bit more practical
Speaker 1: for you, and let me share the ways that you
Speaker 1: can actually recalibrate. The first one is zoom out. Imagine
Speaker 1: your whole entire life as a time line and see
Speaker 1: where you are right now. Will this issue that you
Speaker 1: are stressed out about matter in a week, or a
Speaker 1: month or a year. Write down what impact this stressor
Speaker 1: could have in your life in the future, and if
Speaker 1: it still feels big, create a roadmap to the steps
Speaker 1: that you need to take to resolve it. I know
Speaker 1: for me, whenever I'm stressed out or anxious with work
Speaker 1: or life, I really have to map it out. And
Speaker 1: once I do and I have created those steps, it
Speaker 1: feels way less scary and way more manageable. You get
Speaker 1: to truly see it for what it is, rather than
Speaker 1: what your imagination has convinced you it is. When you
Speaker 1: were a little girl or a little boy, do you
Speaker 1: remember imagining what the ghosts or the little monster under
Speaker 1: or the big monster under your bed look like? Oh,
Speaker 1: my gosh, my imagination was wild, it would be the
Speaker 1: most horrific monster that I'd ever seen. I couldn't even
Speaker 1: pat my toe out of my bed without imagining it
Speaker 1: was going to get engulfed by the teeth of this
Speaker 1: crazy monster.
Speaker 2: And then when I.
Speaker 1: Looked under the bed, I was like, Oh, I don't
Speaker 1: see a monster. I don't see teeth, I don't see
Speaker 1: goggly eyes. And if you don't see something that wants
Speaker 1: to eat my foot. All that to say, when you
Speaker 1: really start to break it down, it really doesn't feel
Speaker 1: as large as your mind has made it. And if
Speaker 1: you did do this and you realize that it actually
Speaker 1: isn't that deep and you don't need to do a
Speaker 1: whole roadmap, then you can skip to the next stage,
Speaker 1: which is release. But before that, I'm going to give
Speaker 1: you a couple more options on how you can recalibrate,
Speaker 1: or you can do all of these together as well.
Speaker 1: By the way, the second one is gratitude. I know
Speaker 1: ill sometimes hearing be grateful when you're stressed out is
Speaker 1: the most annoying thing ever. And I do believe you
Speaker 1: can be stressed and grateful at the same time. It
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you have to sub out your stress for
Speaker 1: the gratitude. Even though people will tell you that I
Speaker 1: don't think it's true. Maybe it is, but I have
Speaker 1: an experience that I find that there is a beauty
Speaker 1: and duality, the idea that you can be sad and
Speaker 1: happy at the same time, the idea that you can
Speaker 1: be stressed and grateful at the same time for different
Speaker 1: things happening in your life. So taking a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes to just think or write down the things that
Speaker 1: you are grateful for at least starts to boost your
Speaker 1: happy hormones in your body, giving you a little more
Speaker 1: balance and a little more hope. Even if the things
Speaker 1: you're grateful for are totally unrelated to the stress, your
Speaker 1: mind feels the feelings of being happy and then begins
Speaker 1: to create more pathways towards that feeling. So I know
Speaker 1: gratitude can feel ill sometimes when someone recommends it when
Speaker 1: you're feeling angry, stressed, or anxious. But people go on
Speaker 1: about it for a reason, and you can still be
Speaker 1: stressed if you want to, but at least be grateful
Speaker 1: for the other things in your life at the same time.
Speaker 1: The next thing you have to do is take a
Speaker 1: break from the problem. One way I find that is incredible.
Speaker 1: To get my mind out of things is to serve,
Speaker 1: to do service somewhere, whether it's me going to give
Speaker 1: my grammar massage, always going to vunteer at a hospital
Speaker 1: and reading a book to somebody. I recently volunteered for
Speaker 1: victims of the LA fires that have happened. I went
Speaker 1: to a donation center in LA And you know what,
Speaker 1: serving and giving back to someone else in some way,
Speaker 1: and if it's in a tiny way like I did,
Speaker 1: it is such a beautiful antidote for your anxiety. It
Speaker 1: takes you out of me miyan I and into a
Speaker 1: space of service. Helping others is so soothing for the
Speaker 1: mind and the song. And if you don't feel like
Speaker 1: helping others, do something to take your attention to something else.
Speaker 1: Make that stress work for you rather than against you.
Speaker 1: Use that energy and redirect it. Whether that's a good
Speaker 1: aggressive workout, whether that's reading a thrilling book, going out
Speaker 1: with some friends, whatever it is, just do something else.
Speaker 1: Don't sit there thinking about all the thoughts that are
Speaker 1: running through your head. And physical activity is probably the
Speaker 1: best option because it lowers our stress hormones and increases
Speaker 1: our happy hormones. So the more you move, the better
Speaker 1: you'll feel. They said, you reminds me of a really
Speaker 1: funny trend that I did recently where someone says, I
Speaker 1: don't know why, but I've been feeling really down lately,
Speaker 1: and then their friend says, Okay, well, have you been
Speaker 1: eating well? No?
Speaker 2: Have you dne water? No? Have you gone outside?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Have you worked out?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Have you eate any fruits or vegetables?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Have you you know?
Speaker 1: And the list goes on because sometimes we don't try
Speaker 1: and help ourselves. We sit in the sadness, and we
Speaker 1: sit in the anxiety, and we sit in the fear,
Speaker 1: and we sit in all the negative emotions and we
Speaker 1: don't try to get ourselves out of Then we just
Speaker 1: expect them to go away. But we have to work
Speaker 1: at these things. It does not just go away. Have
Speaker 1: you done all these things on the list to make
Speaker 1: yourself feel better? If you haven't, then you're going to
Speaker 1: have to try because those are the things that are
Speaker 1: going to make you feel better. And one thing I
Speaker 1: love doing is I have I mean, I have this
Speaker 1: checklist in my mind now, but I recommend this to
Speaker 1: people who are trying to get themselves out of their
Speaker 1: funks a bit faster. One of the things is making
Speaker 1: a list, like a checklist of five things. Do these
Speaker 1: before I sit in my sadness, do these before I
Speaker 1: sit in my anger, do these before I sit in
Speaker 1: my anxiety. And list out your five things that you
Speaker 1: are going to do. And once you've done all those fives,
Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better, I will give you
Speaker 1: the permission to sit in whatever emotion you're feeling. But
Speaker 1: until you've done those five, don't let yourself.
Speaker 2: Sit in it.
Speaker 1: Know the things that going to make you feel better
Speaker 1: and create a checklist for them, and once you've made
Speaker 1: it through the list, then you're full permission to spend
Speaker 1: a day sitting in that emotion. But usually if you've
Speaker 1: done a workout, you've eating good food, you've drunk your water,
Speaker 1: you've gone outside. Honestly, that could be your list. And
Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better after doing that, DM me,
Speaker 1: I'll help you. You know what, I actually realize I've
Speaker 1: been using the words stress and anxiety interchangeably in this,
Speaker 1: but really stress is your body's response to all the
Speaker 1: external things that happen, and anxiety is more internal. I
Speaker 1: guess it's the feelings and emotions and reactions that your
Speaker 1: mind has to the issues or the pressures that are external.
Speaker 1: So stress is a response to a situation, and anxiety,
Speaker 1: I guess is more about how your mind interprets.
Speaker 2: Or anticipates the situation.
Speaker 1: So how your mind is receiving this stressful situation and
Speaker 1: how it creates your bodily.
Speaker 2: Response to it.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I just want to clarify that because they are
Speaker 1: similar but also slightly different. The last step is released,
Speaker 1: so we had stop, rec calibrate, and release. Sometimes we
Speaker 1: just have to come to terms with the fact that
Speaker 1: we cannot control everything, and sometimes things can't be fixed,
Speaker 1: and sometimes things are completely out of your capacity and
Speaker 1: abilities to fix it.
Speaker 2: This is the part where we let go.
Speaker 1: And something that's really helped me here is the idea
Speaker 1: of it not just being me going through this, not
Speaker 1: just me going through the stress, not just me going
Speaker 1: through the anxiety. When it's just an eye, everything can
Speaker 1: feel so limited because we are limited. But when you
Speaker 1: add in God or the universe, everything feels a little
Speaker 1: more manageable and there's a sense of relief. So my
Speaker 1: first way of release is prayer. Let every word, every sentence,
Speaker 1: every fear, every anxiety, every stress, let it out in
Speaker 1: a prayer. I give this to you. I give my anxiety,
Speaker 1: I give my stress, I give all my fears. I'm
Speaker 1: handing them over to you because right now I can't
Speaker 1: control them. I surrender all of these things, my thoughts,
Speaker 1: my anxieties, my stress, and my emotions. I'm surrendering them
Speaker 1: to you. Most of the time, this helps give clarity
Speaker 1: to me of the things that I can actually let
Speaker 1: go of, all the things that I really should take
Speaker 1: action on and change in my life to relieve the
Speaker 1: stress that I'm feeling. Some things are on you and
Speaker 1: some things are out of your control, and this helps
Speaker 1: to figure out the difference. If you're someone that's not
Speaker 1: used to prayer, maybe you don't believe in God, maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a crisis on whether you do or
Speaker 1: don't believe in God.
Speaker 2: Either way, prayer will help.
Speaker 1: You. May not know what you're praying too, but just
Speaker 1: see it as a release of something larger than you,
Speaker 1: something bigger than you, something more magnificent than you, something
Speaker 1: capable of doing magical, wonderful things in your life that
Speaker 1: you are not capable of doing. Another thing that really
Speaker 1: helps me when my mind is racing is putting on
Speaker 1: some music and singing at the top of my voice
Speaker 1: a song that you can scream to, shout to, or
Speaker 1: belt from your belly. My favorite thing is getting in
Speaker 1: the car, putting on a song and just singing my
Speaker 1: heart out. You might cry, you might laugh, But when
Speaker 1: you have all these emotions up inside of you, it
Speaker 1: is only a matter of time till you burst. Emotions
Speaker 1: am in to flow through you, not live in you.
Speaker 1: You have to feel it and let it flow. You
Speaker 1: can write out and burn it, or say to yourself
Speaker 1: in a mirror, whatever your method is, just make sure
Speaker 1: you get it out of your system. Releasing is not
Speaker 1: about denial, it's about freedom. By letting go of what
Speaker 1: you can't control, you will reclaim your energy and mental
Speaker 1: space for solutions and what really matters out with the old,
Speaker 1: so you can handle whatever new comes at you. The
Speaker 1: thing is, when our stresses keep piling up and piling
Speaker 1: up and piling up, when we don't deal with them,
Speaker 1: there has to be a breaking point. There has to
Speaker 1: be a bursting point, and so we have to with
Speaker 1: whatever comes our way. You have to learn how to receive,
Speaker 1: process and release. The more you keep in you, the
Speaker 1: less you'll be able to handle what comes at you.
Speaker 1: So we have to create this system in our mind
Speaker 1: and in our body to recognize when something's being harbored
Speaker 1: within us and how to let go of them. I
Speaker 1: really hope that this was useful and I truly hope
Speaker 1: that it helps you through your moments of stress. I
Speaker 1: would love to hear your feedback if you did make
Speaker 1: it all the way to the end of this episode,
Speaker 1: let me know if this was useful, if you do
Speaker 1: try these tips or tricks, and let me know what
Speaker 1: else you want to have a little discussions about. I'd
Speaker 1: love to hear your thoughts and recommendations of topics to cover.
Speaker 1: Let me know what you're dealing with at the moment,
Speaker 1: and I will do my best to help you in
Speaker 1: whatever capacity I can. Sending your so much love and
Speaker 1: I hope you have such a wonderful week ahead, and
Speaker 1: don't forget you can cry if you want to.