1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: You need to stop the rat race, get yourself off 2 00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: that hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at 3 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: what is actually happening. Get the bigger picture, take a 4 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,440 Speaker 1: step back for a second and see what's truly going on. 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we 6 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,920 Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the 8 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress 9 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: to you will feel. I'm Radivlukiah and on my podcast 10 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, 11 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 1: providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and 13 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 1: find comfort together. Well, hello there, you absolutely wonderful human beings. 14 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 2: How are you. 15 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,880 Speaker 1: I hope you've all had such a wonderful week. Thank 16 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,160 Speaker 1: you so much for coming back to A Really Good Cry. 17 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 1: I appreciate it so much so. I actually went to 18 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: India at the beginning of the year. Jay and I 19 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: take this trip to a place called Govden Eco Village 20 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: every single year for our spiritual reset, but this year 21 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,639 Speaker 1: felt a little bit differ. We both came away from 22 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: it feeling like we had gained so much, so much clarity, 23 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: so many realizations, and some serious decompression that was needed 24 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 1: after the year that we had had. But it also 25 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:16,120 Speaker 1: made me realize how deep rooted stress can be. The 26 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,640 Speaker 1: place we went to is beautiful. It has greenery everywhere, 27 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,759 Speaker 1: it's in the middle of a forest. It's so quiet, 28 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: it's peaceful. There are these beautiful temples scattered around the grounds. 29 00:01:27,319 --> 00:01:31,759 Speaker 1: There are so many magical, sacred spaces. The sounds sound godly. 30 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: The whole place feels like a spiritual world, and it 31 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: was so it was the perfect environment to just feel 32 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: stress free. But the first few days my mind was 33 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: still so high strung. It was constantly asking me, what's next. 34 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: You've got things to do. Stop sitting around. What we're 35 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 1: going to be doing now? Why are you not doing anything? 36 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: Come on onto the next, onto the next. And you 37 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: know what, that thought process and this constant anxious and 38 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: stress inducing state is something any of us go through 39 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: throughout our whole year. And look, the fact is that 40 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,960 Speaker 1: stress is just a part of life, whether it's work, deadlines, 41 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: family drama, or trying to balance different parts of our life, 42 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: some larger stresses, some small, some expected some unexpected. But 43 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: the thing is, without coping mechanisms and trying to tackle 44 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,320 Speaker 1: the emotions and mental pressure of it all on a 45 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: regular basis, it can just build and build until it 46 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: all just feels like too much. For me, that looks 47 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: like locking myself in the dark room and crying. For others, 48 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:34,000 Speaker 1: it could lead to feelings of depression or high level anxiety, 49 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: or just this feeling of this inability to actually function. 50 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: And you know the thing is, sometimes it becomes so 51 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,399 Speaker 1: normal for us to live in that state we don't 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: even realize that we're living in a stress state. Stress 53 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: can manifest in the body in so many different ways. Physically, 54 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: it can show up as headaches or digestive issues, feeling 55 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 1: tired all the time, even if you're sleeping a lot, 56 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: feeling restless or you can't fall asleep. It can cause 57 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,640 Speaker 1: appetite changes like binging or cravings, or you could lose 58 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: your appetite completely. It can lead to hair loss or 59 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: graying early. You can also tend to unhealthy habits like 60 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: drinking or drugs, and other signs are things like jaw clenching, 61 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: which sometimes you don't even realize you're doing until you 62 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: wake up in the morning and your jaw is hurting 63 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:16,440 Speaker 1: so much. 64 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 2: I do that a lot. 65 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 1: I grind my teeth sometimes when I'm stressed in my sleep, 66 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: or I clench my jaw a lot when I'm working 67 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 1: or when I'm sleeping too. Another thing I found is 68 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: when I'm stressed out, the stress seeps into my dreams. 69 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 1: And I don't know whether anyone's had this before, but 70 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: my dreams get really intense, and so the stress that 71 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: I'm feeling, mixed with the worries that I'm having, all 72 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: culminate in my subconscious And not only am I stress 73 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: during the day, I stress sleep too. I've gone through 74 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:50,320 Speaker 1: periods where I'm actually waking up crying because whatever I 75 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: was stressed about or anxious about has actually come into 76 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: my dream and become a reality in my dream. And 77 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: I've woken up with tears pouring out of my eyes. 78 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: And so even if we're trying to pretend like it 79 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: doesn't exist, somehow, our body, our mind, it's feeling it 80 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: every single moment that we are feeling it. I also 81 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: find things like nail biting or fidgeting, or trying to 82 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,119 Speaker 1: overplan or become a perfectionist. I notice when I feel 83 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: like I'm out of control of things in my life, 84 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 1: or I'm stressed out about other parts of my life. 85 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: I become an organizer. I become a hyper planner. I 86 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: want to control everything because it makes sense, right when 87 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: we feel like we're out of control of something else, 88 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: we try to control other parts of my life that 89 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: feel controllable. So it's a very natural response. But these 90 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: are all signs that you might be just a little 91 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: bit too stressed. Now I know that these could also 92 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,279 Speaker 1: be signs of other things. There's so many different signs 93 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: that I just mention and it could be due to 94 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: other things. But usually if you really stop to think 95 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: about it, your body and your mind will tell you 96 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: whether you are stressed or not, or that something's just 97 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: not right. But in case you're unsure whether you are 98 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 1: stressed or not and you. 99 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 2: Need the confirmation. 100 00:04:57,560 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: These are five questions that I usually ask myself to 101 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,640 Speaker 1: really understand what I'm going through. The first one is 102 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: am I feeling physically tense or exhausted even after resting. 103 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,000 Speaker 1: The second one to ask yourself is am I having 104 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 1: trouble sleeping or concentrating. The third one is am I 105 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 1: feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed by everyday tasks. It's like 106 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: your top gets caught on the doorknob and suddenly you 107 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: just burst out in tears. 108 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 2: Actually that happens to be when I'm on my period. 109 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, just random things that 110 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: you wouldn't normally be upset about, barring the time that 111 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,680 Speaker 1: you're on your period, you are just getting over emotional, irritable, 112 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: and you're reacting in a way that you wouldn't normally 113 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: for Have I been neglecting self care like healthy eating 114 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: or taking time to relax at my self care? I 115 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,640 Speaker 1: don't mean the luxury things like getting your nails done 116 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: or you know, going to get a hair trim. What 117 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: I mean are the basics to uphold your wellness in 118 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: your day to day life. Are you eating the right 119 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,919 Speaker 1: foods for your mental state, for your physical body to 120 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,840 Speaker 1: nourish it to do all the things that you were 121 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,880 Speaker 1: doing to cope with the stress that you were going through. 122 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,559 Speaker 1: Are you sleeping in the right way? Are you creating 123 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: the right environment around you? You know, the basic things 124 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: that you need to actually create optimal health and optimal living. 125 00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: Are you neglecting those when you use to prioritize them. 126 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,160 Speaker 1: And the last one is what are the most repeated 127 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 1: thoughts I am having in my day? Usually sometimes you 128 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,560 Speaker 1: only need to ask that one question, what am I 129 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: thinking about regularly? What are the repeated thoughts that are 130 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 1: going through my mind? And when you notice that they 131 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: are more anxious thoughts or more negative thoughts, and it's 132 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: out of balance compared to the positive thoughts or the 133 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: grateful thoughts, or the thoughts that life is good and 134 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:32,960 Speaker 1: great and I can do this and I'm happy and 135 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: I'm well. But your mind is telling you all the 136 00:06:35,839 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: bad things that are happening in your life more than that, 137 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,480 Speaker 1: then that can be a sign that you're imbalanced. Because 138 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,119 Speaker 1: the things that you think about is what you become. 139 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: And so the more you think about the things that 140 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: are stressing you out, the more you think about the 141 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: negative things, the more you see the negative things, and 142 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,680 Speaker 1: then that is exactly what we end up becoming. And 143 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,680 Speaker 1: so those are the five questions that I recommend you 144 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 1: ask yourself to really assess whether you are stressed if 145 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: you're in denial. If the answer is yes to a 146 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: lot of these, then it's probably an indication that you 147 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 1: are in need of my Ultimate Stress Reset Formula. And 148 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,560 Speaker 1: this is something that I have created because I've gone 149 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: through a lot of stressful moments in my life. I 150 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: used to be a highly anxious person. I still can 151 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: ebb and flow through being that, and so I would 152 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: feel very stressed and very anxious, and it would kind 153 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: of take over and encapsulate me, even when it was small, 154 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: even when it was something I knew wasn't something to 155 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: be that anxious about. It would just take over my 156 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: entire body and mind. And so I created these three 157 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,440 Speaker 1: steps after reflecting on how I got myself out of 158 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: those moments and how I've got to this stage where 159 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: I'm able to really manage those stressful times and those 160 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: anxious moments so much better. 161 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 2: And so I'm actually. 162 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: Speaking from experience rather than theory, and so I'm hoping 163 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: that these tips really do help you through your stress 164 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: and anxiety. So I've broken these coping mechanisms down into 165 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: three steps. First step is stop, the second step is recalibrate, 166 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: and the third step is release. So let me take 167 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: you through them one by one step one stop. First off, 168 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: we need to get you out of your head. You 169 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: need to stop the rat race, get yourself off that 170 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at what 171 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: is actually happening, get the bigger picture, take a step 172 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: back for a second and see what's truly going on. 173 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,440 Speaker 1: Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we 174 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,559 Speaker 1: do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes 175 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: is what grows. So the more you think about the 176 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress 177 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: to you will feel. And that feels pretty simple and logical. 178 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,640 Speaker 1: But when you're constantly on the go and you're choosing 179 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: not to think about it, that realization is really important. 180 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: So we have to hit the pause button. 181 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,640 Speaker 1: And so my favorite, absolute favorite way to do this 182 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: is through breathwork. Now, do not underestimate how powerful breath 183 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: work is. And if you're someone that's never done breathwork before, 184 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: you're probably thinking, Okay, this is just another meditation woo 185 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,400 Speaker 1: woo thing that is actually not going to help me. 186 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,720 Speaker 1: But listen to me when I say there is so 187 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,920 Speaker 1: much scientific evidence behind breathwork, more so than the pills 188 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: that you are popping. So if you are skeptical about breathwork, 189 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: the proof is in the pudding. All you have to 190 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: do is try. 191 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 2: And I'm going to take you through one right now. 192 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:19,959 Speaker 2: I'm going to take you. 193 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:24,559 Speaker 1: Through it because breathwork has changed everything from my asthma, 194 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: so a physical thing that I had going on, to 195 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: my anxiety, to my stress, to my sleep, to my workouts. 196 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,960 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's changed everything. As soon as you 197 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 1: master your breath, you master your mind and your emotions. 198 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: So do not underestimate breathwork. One simple deep breath can 199 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 1: change your whole mood. And I'm not saying that it's 200 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: going to take away what you're stressed about, but I 201 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: can guarantee it will give you the clarity and calm 202 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: that you need to be able to handle whatever it 203 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: is that you are going through without feeling overwhelmed. So 204 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: we're going to take in. We're going to do this together. 205 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 1: Come on, people, Okay, let's get in the zone. If 206 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: you can close your eyes listeners in the car, please 207 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: do not close your eyes. We're going to take one 208 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:09,599 Speaker 1: deep breath in for one, two three four, hold a 209 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 1: little bit at the top, and then breathe out for one, 210 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: two three four. I'm going to take the breath so 211 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 1: you can hear it at the same time and continue 212 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:36,800 Speaker 1: to do this with me for another five breaths. As 213 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 1: you're breathing in, you should feel your stomach coming outwards 214 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: and expanding, And as you're breathing out, you should feel 215 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,640 Speaker 1: your stomach contracting and going inward. Honestly, just me taking 216 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: those two breaths with you, my whole mind feels calmer. 217 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm speaking slower. I feel so much 218 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: more clear in my mind. And that's a simple box breath. 219 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: You breathe in for four, you hold it at the 220 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,320 Speaker 1: top for like a couple of seconds, and then you 221 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 1: let go for four. And it is that simple. You 222 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: can do that for five minutes or even a couple 223 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: of minutes, or multiple times throughout the day, every time 224 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 1: you notice little signs or symptoms of stress picking up. 225 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: And if that one wasn't enough for you, if you're like, 226 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,600 Speaker 1: you know what, give me something more. I've been doing 227 00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:17,320 Speaker 1: that breath work for a while now I'm an expert. 228 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 1: Give me another one. Another breath work I love doing 229 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,439 Speaker 1: is breathing in and then almost make a sighing sound 230 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 1: on the way out. So let me do it for you. 231 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 2: It goes. 232 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: And you can make whatever sound comes out. It can 233 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,840 Speaker 1: be a scream, it may be a cry. It may 234 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 1: be a squeal, it may be a laugh. You'll be 235 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: surprised what comes out when you do this breath work. 236 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: But usually anxiety is when our thoughts are trapped in 237 00:11:42,559 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 1: our mind. And I'm personally noticed that when you create 238 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: some sort of sound vibration in your body, that sound 239 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,880 Speaker 1: vibration travels through you and it starts to stare things up. 240 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 1: It gets things out of your body, and it just 241 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: creates a different environment, and it helps to remove these 242 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: stagnant thoughts which are trapped inside of our mind, helps 243 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 1: to release them. So those two simple breathworks. There are 244 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: so many more I could teach you, but honestly, let's 245 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:05,880 Speaker 1: keep it simple. 246 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 2: The box breath. 247 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: Every single time you feel your mind starting to travel, 248 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 1: starting to think about all the things that you can't control, 249 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: try breathing for four counts in, holding at the top, 250 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,439 Speaker 1: and four counts out. And then if you want to 251 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: try something else, try the cye breath. If you're not 252 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: in public and you're in the comforts of your own home, 253 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 1: try and get those vibrations, the sound vibrations flowing through 254 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: your body. You can even actually do a humming sound 255 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 1: after it. So you take a deep breath in and 256 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: you do this when you come out, and that's actually 257 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: such a calming breathwork to do. Even within one you'll 258 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: notice a difference. Also, one thing, I'm a victim of this, 259 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,560 Speaker 1: and I don't know whether you are, but I'll share 260 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: it anyway. You need to stop trying to fix the 261 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: issue right away. Oh my god, I'm such a fixer. 262 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: Whether it's something I'm anxious about or something someone else 263 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,920 Speaker 1: is anxious about, I'm like, I have to fix it 264 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: straight away, find the solution. But the thing is, trying 265 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 1: to solve anything in a stress state is never going 266 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: to be as effective or efficient as solving it in 267 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:11,360 Speaker 1: a calm state. Stress often feels worse because we pressure 268 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: ourselves into solving the problem instantly. But you might not 269 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: have the answer right now, and that's also okay, And 270 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,680 Speaker 1: if you try to force the answer, you'll probably get 271 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 1: it wrong or do the wrong thing. Your mind is 272 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: basically like a snow globe. When you shake it, you 273 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 1: literally can't see anything in there, and that's pretty much 274 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 1: what your mind in emotions look like when you are stressed. 275 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 1: As soon as the snow settles, you are more likely 276 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 1: to see clearly and take better steps. Towards fixing it. 277 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:39,079 Speaker 1: Sometimes clarity comes when you stop forcing it. The next 278 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: step is called recalibrate. 279 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,040 Speaker 2: So I had this. 280 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,079 Speaker 1: Problem once, and it has often helped me when I'm 281 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: anxious about things that I have absolutely no control over, 282 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: which is, unfortunately how our mind. 283 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 2: Tends to work. 284 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 1: We focus on the things that we can't do anything about, 285 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,880 Speaker 1: rather than the things that we can do something about. 286 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 1: So it goes something like this. A farmer in a 287 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 1: village owned a single horse that helped him plow his fields. 288 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 1: One day, the horse ran away. The villagers came to 289 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 1: console him, saying, oh my goodness, what bad luck. The 290 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 1: farmer simply replied, good thing, bad thing, who knows. A 291 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: week later, the horse returned, bringing with it a group 292 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 1: of wild horses. The villagers said, oh my goodness, what 293 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:20,800 Speaker 1: great fortune you have, and again the farmer replied, good thing, 294 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 1: bad thing, who knows. Soon after that, the farmer's son 295 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: tried to tame one of the wild horses, and he 296 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,520 Speaker 1: broke his leg in the process. The villagers once again 297 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 1: gathered and said, what terrible misfortune you have, and the farmer, 298 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: once again, calm as before, said, good thing, bad thing, 299 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 1: who knows. Not long After that, the army came to 300 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 1: the village recruiting young men for the war. Because the 301 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,120 Speaker 1: farmer's son was injured, he was sped. The villagers marveled 302 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 1: to the farmer, but he simply said, good thing, bad thing. 303 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: Who knows. 304 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: The lesson I got from this is that life is 305 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 1: constantly shifting, and what may seem like a disaster, the 306 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: most disastrous thing that you you have ever been through, 307 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: might lead to something better down the road, or be 308 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,840 Speaker 1: saving us from something else coming our way. So when 309 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: you're stressed, recalibrate, step back and see what is it 310 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: that I can do about the situation, and what is 311 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 1: it that I cannot do, and then take action on 312 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 1: the things you can and find peace with the things 313 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: you cannot. Recalibrating means giving your mind a mental reset 314 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:26,080 Speaker 1: that helps you to shift from fight or flight to 315 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 1: pause and plan, because you know what, especially if you've 316 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: been through a lot and been through a negative mind 317 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: space for a while. Even though positivity feels attractive and 318 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 1: you may know theoretically it's where you want to live, 319 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 1: it feels difficult and sometimes it feels unfamiliar if we 320 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: haven't been there in a long while, and so It 321 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 1: just takes these constant recalibrations to retrain and rewire our 322 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: mind's reactions to the stresses that we feel in life. 323 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,320 Speaker 1: So let me make this a little bit more practical 324 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: for you, and let me share the ways that you 325 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 1: can actually recalibrate. The first one is zoom out. Imagine 326 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: your whole entire life as a time line and see 327 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: where you are right now. Will this issue that you 328 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: are stressed out about matter in a week, or a 329 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: month or a year. Write down what impact this stressor 330 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 1: could have in your life in the future, and if 331 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 1: it still feels big, create a roadmap to the steps 332 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: that you need to take to resolve it. I know 333 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 1: for me, whenever I'm stressed out or anxious with work 334 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: or life, I really have to map it out. And 335 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: once I do and I have created those steps, it 336 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,240 Speaker 1: feels way less scary and way more manageable. You get 337 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: to truly see it for what it is, rather than 338 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,480 Speaker 1: what your imagination has convinced you it is. When you 339 00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 1: were a little girl or a little boy, do you 340 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: remember imagining what the ghosts or the little monster under 341 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 1: or the big monster under your bed look like? Oh, 342 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,600 Speaker 1: my gosh, my imagination was wild, it would be the 343 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: most horrific monster that I'd ever seen. I couldn't even 344 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: pat my toe out of my bed without imagining it 345 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 1: was going to get engulfed by the teeth of this 346 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: crazy monster. 347 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 2: And then when I. 348 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,400 Speaker 1: Looked under the bed, I was like, Oh, I don't 349 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: see a monster. I don't see teeth, I don't see 350 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,040 Speaker 1: goggly eyes. And if you don't see something that wants 351 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 1: to eat my foot. All that to say, when you 352 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 1: really start to break it down, it really doesn't feel 353 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,359 Speaker 1: as large as your mind has made it. And if 354 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 1: you did do this and you realize that it actually 355 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,439 Speaker 1: isn't that deep and you don't need to do a 356 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,600 Speaker 1: whole roadmap, then you can skip to the next stage, 357 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 1: which is release. But before that, I'm going to give 358 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,280 Speaker 1: you a couple more options on how you can recalibrate, 359 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,280 Speaker 1: or you can do all of these together as well. 360 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 1: By the way, the second one is gratitude. I know 361 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:28,679 Speaker 1: ill sometimes hearing be grateful when you're stressed out is 362 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: the most annoying thing ever. And I do believe you 363 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 1: can be stressed and grateful at the same time. It 364 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,840 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you have to sub out your stress for 365 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: the gratitude. Even though people will tell you that I 366 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: don't think it's true. Maybe it is, but I have 367 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 1: an experience that I find that there is a beauty 368 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: and duality, the idea that you can be sad and 369 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: happy at the same time, the idea that you can 370 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,479 Speaker 1: be stressed and grateful at the same time for different 371 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,520 Speaker 1: things happening in your life. So taking a couple of 372 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 1: minutes to just think or write down the things that 373 00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 1: you are grateful for at least starts to boost your 374 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: happy hormones in your body, giving you a little more 375 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,960 Speaker 1: balance and a little more hope. Even if the things 376 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: you're grateful for are totally unrelated to the stress, your 377 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 1: mind feels the feelings of being happy and then begins 378 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:15,879 Speaker 1: to create more pathways towards that feeling. So I know 379 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,240 Speaker 1: gratitude can feel ill sometimes when someone recommends it when 380 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 1: you're feeling angry, stressed, or anxious. But people go on 381 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,399 Speaker 1: about it for a reason, and you can still be 382 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,640 Speaker 1: stressed if you want to, but at least be grateful 383 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: for the other things in your life at the same time. 384 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,280 Speaker 1: The next thing you have to do is take a 385 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: break from the problem. One way I find that is incredible. 386 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 1: To get my mind out of things is to serve, 387 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: to do service somewhere, whether it's me going to give 388 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: my grammar massage, always going to vunteer at a hospital 389 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: and reading a book to somebody. I recently volunteered for 390 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,840 Speaker 1: victims of the LA fires that have happened. I went 391 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: to a donation center in LA And you know what, 392 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,640 Speaker 1: serving and giving back to someone else in some way, 393 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: and if it's in a tiny way like I did, 394 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 1: it is such a beautiful antidote for your anxiety. It 395 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 1: takes you out of me miyan I and into a 396 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: space of service. Helping others is so soothing for the 397 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: mind and the song. And if you don't feel like 398 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: helping others, do something to take your attention to something else. 399 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 1: Make that stress work for you rather than against you. 400 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 1: Use that energy and redirect it. Whether that's a good 401 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,080 Speaker 1: aggressive workout, whether that's reading a thrilling book, going out 402 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: with some friends, whatever it is, just do something else. 403 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 1: Don't sit there thinking about all the thoughts that are 404 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: running through your head. And physical activity is probably the 405 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: best option because it lowers our stress hormones and increases 406 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: our happy hormones. So the more you move, the better 407 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,000 Speaker 1: you'll feel. They said, you reminds me of a really 408 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 1: funny trend that I did recently where someone says, I 409 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 1: don't know why, but I've been feeling really down lately, 410 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,880 Speaker 1: and then their friend says, Okay, well, have you been 411 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 1: eating well? No? 412 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,440 Speaker 2: Have you dne water? No? Have you gone outside? 413 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:54,719 Speaker 1: No? 414 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,120 Speaker 2: Have you worked out? 415 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: No? 416 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,960 Speaker 2: Have you eate any fruits or vegetables? 417 00:19:59,000 --> 00:19:59,080 Speaker 1: No? 418 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:00,240 Speaker 2: Have you you know? 419 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: And the list goes on because sometimes we don't try 420 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: and help ourselves. We sit in the sadness, and we 421 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: sit in the anxiety, and we sit in the fear, 422 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,240 Speaker 1: and we sit in all the negative emotions and we 423 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: don't try to get ourselves out of Then we just 424 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: expect them to go away. But we have to work 425 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,399 Speaker 1: at these things. It does not just go away. Have 426 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,719 Speaker 1: you done all these things on the list to make 427 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,520 Speaker 1: yourself feel better? If you haven't, then you're going to 428 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,359 Speaker 1: have to try because those are the things that are 429 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,399 Speaker 1: going to make you feel better. And one thing I 430 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 1: love doing is I have I mean, I have this 431 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,000 Speaker 1: checklist in my mind now, but I recommend this to 432 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: people who are trying to get themselves out of their 433 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,720 Speaker 1: funks a bit faster. One of the things is making 434 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: a list, like a checklist of five things. Do these 435 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,639 Speaker 1: before I sit in my sadness, do these before I 436 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: sit in my anger, do these before I sit in 437 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,159 Speaker 1: my anxiety. And list out your five things that you 438 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,600 Speaker 1: are going to do. And once you've done all those fives, 439 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better, I will give you 440 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: the permission to sit in whatever emotion you're feeling. But 441 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: until you've done those five, don't let yourself. 442 00:20:58,359 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 2: Sit in it. 443 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 1: Know the things that going to make you feel better 444 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: and create a checklist for them, and once you've made 445 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 1: it through the list, then you're full permission to spend 446 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: a day sitting in that emotion. But usually if you've 447 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,080 Speaker 1: done a workout, you've eating good food, you've drunk your water, 448 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:16,199 Speaker 1: you've gone outside. Honestly, that could be your list. And 449 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,159 Speaker 1: if you still don't feel better after doing that, DM me, 450 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 1: I'll help you. You know what, I actually realize I've 451 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,679 Speaker 1: been using the words stress and anxiety interchangeably in this, 452 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 1: but really stress is your body's response to all the 453 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 1: external things that happen, and anxiety is more internal. I 454 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,400 Speaker 1: guess it's the feelings and emotions and reactions that your 455 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: mind has to the issues or the pressures that are external. 456 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: So stress is a response to a situation, and anxiety, 457 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 1: I guess is more about how your mind interprets. 458 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 2: Or anticipates the situation. 459 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,800 Speaker 1: So how your mind is receiving this stressful situation and 460 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 1: how it creates your bodily. 461 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:52,879 Speaker 2: Response to it. 462 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,959 Speaker 1: Anyway, I just want to clarify that because they are 463 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: similar but also slightly different. The last step is released, 464 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: so we had stop, rec calibrate, and release. Sometimes we 465 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 1: just have to come to terms with the fact that 466 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: we cannot control everything, and sometimes things can't be fixed, 467 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,119 Speaker 1: and sometimes things are completely out of your capacity and 468 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: abilities to fix it. 469 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,439 Speaker 2: This is the part where we let go. 470 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 1: And something that's really helped me here is the idea 471 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:21,680 Speaker 1: of it not just being me going through this, not 472 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,120 Speaker 1: just me going through the stress, not just me going 473 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,560 Speaker 1: through the anxiety. When it's just an eye, everything can 474 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,439 Speaker 1: feel so limited because we are limited. But when you 475 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 1: add in God or the universe, everything feels a little 476 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: more manageable and there's a sense of relief. So my 477 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:41,520 Speaker 1: first way of release is prayer. Let every word, every sentence, 478 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: every fear, every anxiety, every stress, let it out in 479 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:49,920 Speaker 1: a prayer. I give this to you. I give my anxiety, 480 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,200 Speaker 1: I give my stress, I give all my fears. I'm 481 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: handing them over to you because right now I can't 482 00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,080 Speaker 1: control them. I surrender all of these things, my thoughts, 483 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,400 Speaker 1: my anxieties, my stress, and my emotions. I'm surrendering them 484 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: to you. Most of the time, this helps give clarity 485 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: to me of the things that I can actually let 486 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 1: go of, all the things that I really should take 487 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 1: action on and change in my life to relieve the 488 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: stress that I'm feeling. Some things are on you and 489 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: some things are out of your control, and this helps 490 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 1: to figure out the difference. If you're someone that's not 491 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 1: used to prayer, maybe you don't believe in God, maybe 492 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 1: you're going through a crisis on whether you do or 493 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 1: don't believe in God. 494 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,200 Speaker 2: Either way, prayer will help. 495 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: You. May not know what you're praying too, but just 496 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: see it as a release of something larger than you, 497 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: something bigger than you, something more magnificent than you, something 498 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,199 Speaker 1: capable of doing magical, wonderful things in your life that 499 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: you are not capable of doing. Another thing that really 500 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,880 Speaker 1: helps me when my mind is racing is putting on 501 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 1: some music and singing at the top of my voice 502 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 1: a song that you can scream to, shout to, or 503 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,399 Speaker 1: belt from your belly. My favorite thing is getting in 504 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,639 Speaker 1: the car, putting on a song and just singing my 505 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: heart out. You might cry, you might laugh, But when 506 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,760 Speaker 1: you have all these emotions up inside of you, it 507 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: is only a matter of time till you burst. Emotions 508 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: am in to flow through you, not live in you. 509 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 1: You have to feel it and let it flow. You 510 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,840 Speaker 1: can write out and burn it, or say to yourself 511 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 1: in a mirror, whatever your method is, just make sure 512 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,960 Speaker 1: you get it out of your system. Releasing is not 513 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,800 Speaker 1: about denial, it's about freedom. By letting go of what 514 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: you can't control, you will reclaim your energy and mental 515 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: space for solutions and what really matters out with the old, 516 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: so you can handle whatever new comes at you. The 517 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,959 Speaker 1: thing is, when our stresses keep piling up and piling 518 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,800 Speaker 1: up and piling up, when we don't deal with them, 519 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: there has to be a breaking point. There has to 520 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:40,119 Speaker 1: be a bursting point, and so we have to with 521 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 1: whatever comes our way. You have to learn how to receive, 522 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,240 Speaker 1: process and release. The more you keep in you, the 523 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,159 Speaker 1: less you'll be able to handle what comes at you. 524 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: So we have to create this system in our mind 525 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 1: and in our body to recognize when something's being harbored 526 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 1: within us and how to let go of them. I 527 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,360 Speaker 1: really hope that this was useful and I truly hope 528 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:02,159 Speaker 1: that it helps you through your moments of stress. I 529 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:04,280 Speaker 1: would love to hear your feedback if you did make 530 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:05,920 Speaker 1: it all the way to the end of this episode, 531 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: let me know if this was useful, if you do 532 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: try these tips or tricks, and let me know what 533 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 1: else you want to have a little discussions about. I'd 534 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,880 Speaker 1: love to hear your thoughts and recommendations of topics to cover. 535 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 1: Let me know what you're dealing with at the moment, 536 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 1: and I will do my best to help you in 537 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,040 Speaker 1: whatever capacity I can. Sending your so much love and 538 00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 1: I hope you have such a wonderful week ahead, and 539 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,199 Speaker 1: don't forget you can cry if you want to.