WEBVTT - Managers: It’s Not Me, It’s You 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:01.680 LinkedIn News. 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:08.000 I mean, you're not gonna go to your manager and 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:10.159 be like, hey, you're micro manager and you got a 0:00:10.240 --> 0:00:12.360 chill or you know, you're not giving me feedback and 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:12.960 I'm struggling. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.520 I don't know if it is a little vocal, like 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:21.200 this is not the vibe, but I think having that 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.639 conversation and being like, I'm struggling because of you, Like, 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:27.120 how do you go about that in a professional way? 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:29.520 You know, like what's like the professional way of saying 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:33.280 it's you, it's actually you? 0:00:34.159 --> 0:00:37.400 I would say, don't by not saying that? Figure out? 0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:41.680 Avoid do not? How did not? How don't you have 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:42.600 hired one one? 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:47.000 You really talking offline then, because baby, you can't get 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:48.320 online because you don't have no job. 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.280 From LinkedIn News and I heard podcasts, this is Let's 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:58.240 Talk Offline, a show about what it takes to thrive 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:02.120 in the early years of your career without sacrificing your values, 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:03.520 sanity or sleep. 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:08.200 I'm Giana Prudenti and I'm Jamay Jackson Gadson. By a 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:10.440 show of hands, how many of us have had. 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.200 A bad manager? 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.240 Hand is a raised girl, all of my hands, my toes, 0:01:14.400 --> 0:01:15.080 everything is up. 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:15.440 Okay. 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.479 The truth of the matter is a manager can make 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.440 or break how you show up at work. I mean, 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:22.400 first of all, not every boss is going to be 0:01:22.440 --> 0:01:25.960 super supportive, or even have great communication skills, or even 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:28.000 be that girl gender neutral. 0:01:28.200 --> 0:01:30.240 Okay, you have to figure out how to. 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:32.560 Make your manager work for you, but more importantly, how 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:34.760 to show up as your best self at work. 0:01:35.000 --> 0:01:38.000 When you're dealing with bad managers. 0:01:37.600 --> 0:01:39.600 It really comes down to just making the best of 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.920 your situation. You know, your manager's supposed to be your 0:01:43.000 --> 0:01:45.959 number one supporter, and when they're not, it can be 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:49.400 really challenging and feel like such an obstacle. So even 0:01:49.440 --> 0:01:51.880 if they don't got your back, we do, and we're 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:53.840 going to help you figure out how to build a 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.840 good relationship with your boss, no matter how difficult. 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:57.440 Period. 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.920 Hey, Jamay, what up? G Okay? 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:11.280 Today we're talking all about what makes a good and 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.200 a bad boss and how to establish a good working 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:15.160 relationship with them. 0:02:15.240 --> 0:02:17.200 Spicy, Spicy, I'm excited. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:19.519 You Know something I hear a lot of times is 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.560 that people don't quit jobs, they quit bad bosses. And 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:25.200 I think there's some truth to that, because having a 0:02:25.240 --> 0:02:27.600 bad manager is a reason why a lot of people 0:02:27.639 --> 0:02:29.360 switch roles and of course. 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:30.799 No one wants that. Like you don't go into a job. 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:32.720 I don't go into a job expecting that to happen, 0:02:32.800 --> 0:02:35.760 wanting that to happen. But it's going to likely occur 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.120 at some point in your career. So how do you 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.600 then build the best working relationship with that challenging boss. 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:43.400 We're going to talk about that today, but. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.200 Before we get into it, to May, I want to 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:49.080 know what do you look for in a manager? 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:50.560 What makes a good boss in your eyes? 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:50.959 Oh? 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:54.400 I love this question because exactly what you said. I 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:57.040 think people leave bad bosses they can't make it work. 0:02:57.080 --> 0:02:59.480 It's like a toxic relationship. You really want to stick 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:01.480 it out, but I gotta go. I gotta get out 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:04.320 of here. Now you're setting cars on fire like Angela Bassett. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:07.880 But for me, I get to see this from bost 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.639 perspectives because I've been a manager, and I've also been 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:14.880 an icy, an individual contributor who reports to a manager. 0:03:15.639 --> 0:03:17.400 For me, I love managers who. 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:21.520 Are super communicative, who are personable, right like every once 0:03:21.520 --> 0:03:23.600 in a while, the manager who remembers it's your birthday, 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:25.440 or like it's your anniversary or whatever. 0:03:26.120 --> 0:03:27.000 That's so sweet to me. 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:30.959 I also do like someone who's really gonna have your back, 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:33.920 Like you really want to see your manager as like 0:03:34.000 --> 0:03:36.800 someone in your army or your toolkit, like if you're 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:38.840 gonna go out on the battleground, like you want them 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.200 to be able to codebat with you. So advocacy, I 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:43.720 think is something really important for me. 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:44.240 What about you? 0:03:44.400 --> 0:03:46.760 Yeah, I a thousand percent agree. I think somebody who's 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:48.800 going to like fight that battle for you. Of course, 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.400 like you're gonna have to do that for yourself as well, 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.480 but somebody who's willing to you know, advocate for you 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.680 in meetings when it comes to promotions. All of that 0:03:56.760 --> 0:03:59.240 creates space for you, I think is so important. And 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.200 on that piece on like creating space, something my manager 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:05.200 does really well that I really appreciate is he creates 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:08.720 space for me to learn and grow. I think sometimes 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:12.480 it's hard for people to give up, you know, responsibilities 0:04:12.520 --> 0:04:15.280 and let people take ownership. I mean that's something transparently 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:17.720 I totally struggle with. Like if I was to be 0:04:17.760 --> 0:04:20.839 a manager right now, I would totally be a micronasor. 0:04:20.920 --> 0:04:22.280 At least you know yourself, No. 0:04:22.240 --> 0:04:24.719 I'm self aware, that's one thing about me I know. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:29.600 But he really has you know, created a reputation for himself, 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:32.320 and now he's giving me ownership over things that he 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:34.400 used to once owned so that I can do the same. 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.120 So I think that's something that's really important, as somebody 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.479 who trusts you to get the work done and is 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.520 going to put you in you know, the spotlight when 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:47.240 they have the opportunity to, rather than continue to micromanage. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.720 And also somebody who you know, boosts your visibility, like 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.640 when it comes to advocacy. Another thing that's big for 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:57.280 me is somebody who offers support and guidance because when 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:00.839 you start out, you turn to your manager any insight 0:05:00.880 --> 0:05:02.760 on like how to succeed in your role, how to 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:05.760 succeed in the company. So somebody who's willing to share 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:08.599 those learnings, and somebody who has more historical knowledge that 0:05:08.880 --> 0:05:12.200 they're willing to share with you, because otherwise you can 0:05:12.240 --> 0:05:15.320 really feel lost. And of course you have your allies 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.480 and your peers and all of that, but your manager 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.840 really is somebody who should be able to, you know, 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.400 clear those roadblocks and help you kind of get to 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:23.200 where you want to go. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:24.680 I think that's really useful. 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.920 Yeah, I also have to remind myself sometimes that We're 0:05:27.920 --> 0:05:30.039 still just people at the end of the day. You know, 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.880 when I first started out, there were a lot of 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:35.640 managers who kind of really created that hard work life balance. 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:37.120 I mean, first of all, there was none. Like I've 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.840 said before in other episodes, we was just working. Girl 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.080 were just working. But like I do think nowadays, I 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:46.440 like more empathetic leaders and managers, people who are going 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:48.640 to see you. You know, I had to take a 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:50.960 day off from work recently because I was I woke 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:54.000 up and I had this terrible migraine, and I obviously 0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:55.760 I could have tried to push through, but like I 0:05:55.800 --> 0:05:57.520 reached out to my manager and I was just like, hey, 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.120 I can't do it. If you let me go to 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.039 work today, it's gonna be a little weird. And she 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:06.599 was like, please stay home, I drink, go to sleep, 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:09.359 and I was like, oh, thank you. So, like, you know, 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:11.960 you just sort of sometimes need managers who just get it. 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.200 And I do think that those are sometimes signs of 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:17.160 good managers. There are people who just remember, at the 0:06:17.200 --> 0:06:18.600 end of the day, we are all people. We're all 0:06:18.600 --> 0:06:22.159 having a lived experience, and sometimes we just need grace. 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:24.160 Yeah, And I think that goes back to what you 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:27.360 said earlier about like leaning. By example, if you know 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:30.640 my manager takes off because he or she is having 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:33.239 a migraine, then I'm gonna feel better about doing it myself. 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.320 And you know, my manager now always is like, take 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:38.080 care of yourself, that comes first. So you know, those 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:40.800 are the things we look for and a good manager. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.640 But of course there is the bad and the ugly. 0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:48.760 Have you ever had a bad experience with the manager? Oh? 0:06:48.920 --> 0:06:52.599 Girlame, do we have this coffee? Ain't strong enough? 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:54.279 Yeah. 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:57.600 Throughout my career, I've had a couple of different bad managers, 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.799 and they've been bad for a number of different reasons. 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.560 You know, sometimes I think what's important for people to remember, 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:07.320 including myself, is that I don't think anyone is inherently 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.520 good or bad. I think people maybe don't have the 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.160 necessary managerial training. 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:11.400 You know. 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:15.160 I'm thankful that the jobs well, at least at LinkedIn. 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:18.920 When I became a manager, we went through extensive managerial training. Now, 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:20.760 the first one ever became a manager. I was just 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.440 out on my own and I had to figure it out. 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:26.119 And honestly, I used the traumas of bad managers past 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:29.600 to guide me so that I could be a better person. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:34.600 For me, I felt that usually what was the pinnacle 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:37.400 like trademark of a bad manager, where again the people 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.800 who just don't speak my name in rooms. I'll never forget. 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:42.640 There was this one time with the manager who, for 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:46.280 whatever reason, she would just never invite me into meetings. 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:48.680 There would be projects that I would be involved in, 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.800 and then when it came time to presentation, I just 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:53.480 somehow never got the calendar invite. 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:54.600 I never found out. 0:07:54.600 --> 0:07:56.560 And then people later on would be like, oh, someone 0:07:56.680 --> 0:07:58.840 so presented this and I was like, wait, that's weird. 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:02.120 I remember working on that. I will never forget. 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.760 She had a friend who was also a senior leader 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:09.280 in this company, and then this person started to see 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:10.920 me more around and then they they were like, oh, 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.160 let's meet up, let's have coffee. Got to know me 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.880 and was like, wow, I actually see something in you. 0:08:15.880 --> 0:08:18.200 You know, I will be an advocate and ally and 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.200 I'll never forget. There came a day when she sat 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:21.960 down and she was like, I'm just telling you, I 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:25.280 really think that you need to change managers. Mind you, 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.120 this is her friend she is talking about. I was like, wait, 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.840 what's going on with Tea? She was like, we got 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:34.440 out of a meeting recently, and I only knew that 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.120 this was your project because you had already shown it 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:39.800 to me for feedback, but she presented it as. 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:42.120 Hers not stealing the credit, stealing. 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:44.280 The credit and then honey, they went out to happy 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.880 hour and my boss told her that she didn't like 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:50.840 me because she was intimidated. She said, she said, Jamay 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:52.800 is doing X, Y and Z really well, and when 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.240 I was her age, I wasn't doing that. So it 0:08:55.360 --> 0:08:58.680 was a crazy thing. That was the first time I 0:08:58.720 --> 0:09:01.600 ever actually realized that to some bosses, especially, I think 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.080 if you're not if you don't know yourself, if you're 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.120 not happy with yourself, if you don't go to bed 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.600 at night hugging yourself, that's when you start looking at 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.360 everybody else and being mad at them. Because I was like, baby, 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:13.000 these are God giving gifts. I don't know what you 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:14.360 want me to do, Like, I. 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:17.559 Don't know her fault. It's not my fault. Like and 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:18.040 it was. 0:09:18.120 --> 0:09:21.400 It was wild, but that experience has always been seared 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:24.320 in my memory because you might think that because they're 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:26.760 more senior than you, that they are not intimidated, they're 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:28.920 not threatened, and baby, there's something you are bringing to 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:29.440 that table. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:29.679 Right. 0:09:30.000 --> 0:09:32.680 If you have a good manager, they will see that 0:09:32.840 --> 0:09:35.800 as talent and gifts that they can use and they 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:38.360 can help cultivate to help you unlock your potential. But 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:41.360 unfortunately that's not always the case. I sometimes say that 0:09:41.440 --> 0:09:43.600 the best life lessons of mine have come from my 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:45.480 bad managers and not the good ones. The good ones 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.560 are great, but it's those bad ones that sort of 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.560 teach you what you do not want to be if 0:09:50.600 --> 0:09:52.679 you ever become a manager, and even if you decide 0:09:52.679 --> 0:09:54.800 you never want to be a manager, what you want 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.439 to look out for in future employers. 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:58.360 What about you, Giana, I. 0:09:58.360 --> 0:10:01.520 Mean you you always you always talk about your good manager. 0:10:01.640 --> 0:10:03.720 Girls like talking about like a good man. Okay, I 0:10:03.760 --> 0:10:04.600 get it, we all. 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.960 Want one, Okay, But have you ever actually had a 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:08.840 bad manager? 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:12.199 I have? Oh so, since I started at LinkedIn, I've 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:16.319 had three managers. They've all been exceptional. But early, early, 0:10:16.400 --> 0:10:19.120 early in my career, early teen days, when I was 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:21.280 working at my first ice cream shop. 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:22.520 I love ice cream shop. 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.320 Yeah, we're throwing it way back. No, honestly, that was 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.400 like the most pivotal experience. It really sticks with me. 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:31.280 I had a really toxic. 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:34.120 Boss who I don't even know if I've ever ever 0:10:34.200 --> 0:10:36.360 met the guy in person, Like he just like was, 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.920 you know, hanging over all of us and would call 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:45.240 the shop NonStop during people's shifts and would just ask 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:47.439 us questions like make sure we were busy all this stuff. 0:10:47.480 --> 0:10:51.120 So he was just like overbearing already. And then it 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:54.160 came to this one day, I like couldn't make my shift. 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.360 Something was going on, and I called in advance and 0:10:56.400 --> 0:10:58.120 I was like, Hey, I'm not going to be able 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:00.640 to make my shift in a few days. Need to 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.720 take me off the calendar. And he basically threatened. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.920 Me over the phone and was like you need to. 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.280 Be there like this whole thing. I got so read 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.200 I was in this store. I was like, oh my god, 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:11.920 I don't know why did I call while right there? 0:11:11.920 --> 0:11:13.000 Do you over ice cream? 0:11:13.160 --> 0:11:13.400 Yeah? 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:17.600 No, it's like so serious, serious business. So yeah, I 0:11:17.679 --> 0:11:19.040 decided to quit after that. 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:20.280 I was like, I'm owt. 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:23.160 Also, they had rats, so I was like I gotta go, Like, 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:26.559 this is not the Vibe ice cream shop. Yeah. 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.080 I was about to say, you can't just threaten people. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:31.400 That's not really how it really. 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:34.680 Yeah, I did the opposite of what he said. 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.600 I was like by the way, and I sent a 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:41.040 whole like, very strongly worded text and it was beautifully 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.360 written and had my mom drag him for phil No, 0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:46.640 I was just like, I don't feel safe in this 0:11:46.760 --> 0:11:48.160 environment anymore, boo. 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:53.720 A corporate woman since like fifteen I was, I was ready. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:56.040 You stood on business I as a child, I get 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:57.360 I like it and I'm proud of that. 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.640 We really hope you have an amazing manager and there 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:06.600 will never be a problem. But in case you have 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.640 a not so great boss, stick around because we're going 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:11.959 to talk about how to deal with the difficult manager 0:12:12.160 --> 0:12:12.960 after the break. 0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:22.320 All right, y'all, so we are back. 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:25.920 We have been talking about good managers, bad managers, left managers, 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:27.599 right managers, all the managers. 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.199 There's a lot of manager you'll talk and I am 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:30.679 digging it. 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.840 You deal with bad managers at some point in your career. 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:35.640 And I want to bring in a question from one 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.800 of our listeners. Next this is Dear Work Bestie, where 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:42.600 we answer your questions. This week's question comes from Stina 0:12:42.640 --> 0:12:43.360 in California. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:47.320 How do I deal with favoritism in the workplace? I 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.000 had a manager who I felt played favorites in my opinion, 0:12:51.240 --> 0:12:55.520 I think they promoted someone who wasn't necessarily ready over 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:59.760 another colleague who's been there longer and produced the same 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:03.320 call of work. How do I balance professionalism with my 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:07.319 boss and speaking out against toxicity within the team at 0:13:07.320 --> 0:13:07.880 the same time. 0:13:09.760 --> 0:13:11.880 Dang, not the favoritism. That's tough. 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:15.000 Yeah, you know, she mentioned somebody on her team got 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.880 promoted over somebody else. I think with that, like, the 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:21.720 reality is you don't really know what happens behind closed 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:24.040 doors when it comes to promotions. But I'm sure and 0:13:24.120 --> 0:13:26.480 I can imagine I would feel the same Instina's position, 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.400 like is this going to happen to me at some point? Yeah, 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.560 it seems like this also happened in the past, but 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:35.520 in the future, like you will maybe deal with favoritism again. 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:39.880 So I think it's understanding across the team, like are 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:43.880 you all being measured on the same metrics? Like if 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:47.240 your one colleague who just got promoted is doing something differently, 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:49.760 maybe they have weekly one on ones with their managers 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.520 where they're really great about, you know, bragging about their wins. 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.800 That's something that a lot of us struggle with. So 0:13:55.360 --> 0:13:58.280 maybe that colleague is serving up their wins in a 0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:02.000 different way. Or they have different metrics that they're you know, 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:06.240 being measured against. Then I think that shows you what 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:08.440 you could be doing. Maybe I need to be boosting 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.040 my own visibility by telling my manager what's going on, 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:11.760 keeping them. 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:12.079 In the loop. 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:15.880 And then also maybe there's an argument for saying across 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:17.480 the team, I think we all need to be measured 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:20.520 the same because we all have similar roles. So how 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:22.680 can we kind of just like do a team wide 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:26.200 assessment of you know, different metrics for us. Yeah, but 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:29.160 of course, like if it's just your manager is best 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.600 friends with that colleague who got promoted over other people, 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:34.840 and there's like blatant favoritism in that way, you know, 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.080 find an ally on your team, don't gossip with them. 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:39.680 But you know, maybe other people are experiencing this as 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:41.880 well and observing it. And then of course if you 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.040 can't resolve on your own, you might have to just 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:45.120 speak to someone higher up. 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:46.760 Yeah. I like all those tips. 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:50.200 Now, Stina, I'm gonna lean in a little bit more, 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:51.880 and I'm gonna give you a little bit of tough love. 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.760 Feelings are not facts you said. In my opinion, I 0:14:55.800 --> 0:15:01.000 think you probably saw something outside looking, but to me, 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.680 in Gianna's point, you don't know the entire situation, So 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.480 I would always just say go into any situation remembering 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:10.160 that your feelings are not facts, right, and so sometimes 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:11.680 we have to take a step back and make sure 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.840 that we sort between the two. You don't necessarily know 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.480 if the person who got promoted was not ready, because 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.880 your manager could put you up for promotion, but if 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:22.680 other people in the room can't speak to you or 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:25.000 attest to you, it's going to be really, really, really 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.680 difficult for them to push through. So clearly enough people 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:29.880 believe that this person needed to be promoted at the 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:32.800 next level now. But that being said, I do want 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.480 to also say that I empathize with this because calling 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.720 out toxicity in the workforce can feel super scary, and 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.640 especially when you feel like that is going to cross 0:15:41.720 --> 0:15:44.200 a line of professionalism with your boss. So I have 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.480 a couple of thoughts about this, particularly speaking as a 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.160 former manager, but more importantly as a black and Latino 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:53.320 woman who has had to navigate this. First of all, 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.480 document everything. People say this all the time. My mom 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.040 hadn't told me since I was three years old. Document everything. 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:00.880 You need to write down who you were talking to, 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:04.040 what time, what people were wearing, whatever, because you never 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:04.840 know when you're gonna have. 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:06.560 To really pull in that. 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.000 Honey. Look, I have pulled out a booklip before and 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:10.960 I'd be like, I remember because you were drinking this. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:15.200 And this is because because people will try to play you. Okay, 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.520 I'll say this every podcast episode. People will try to 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:18.960 play you, and I'm gonna play the game. 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:19.360 Okay. 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:23.360 But you need to document everything. Yes, if this is 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.800 your actual experience, you can start documenting. So for either 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:27.760 of these people, if you start to see that there 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:31.200 is favoritism happening, start documenting little things that you start 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.200 seeing your manager do document the conversations you are having. 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:36.120 Also, more than. 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:39.200 Likely your job has job ladders, which are sort of 0:16:39.240 --> 0:16:42.520 like what we call, you know, job ladders, career profiles. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:45.520 They're called different things in different companies, but essentially it 0:16:45.640 --> 0:16:49.400 is a written out document, usually approved by senior leaders 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:52.920 on your team and HR that will explicitly call out 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.920 the roles and responsibility at each level. So, Stina, this 0:16:56.960 --> 0:16:59.120 is a great opportunity for you to also ask your 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.800 manager do you want all have this? And if you do, 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:03.920 let's all review it together as a team. And if 0:17:03.960 --> 0:17:07.320 you don't that's an opportunity to maybe have a conversation 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.280 with HR to say, like, I really want to make 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:12.720 sure that we are equitably being you know, reinforced across 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.400 the board with all of our roles and responsibilities. Can 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.760 we explore building a job ladder so that we can 0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.439 all see very straight up, in black and white, what 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.199 is expected of us and how to get to the 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:22.720 next level. 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:25.680 That's such a good point because you might not always 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:28.639 know what it takes to get to that next level, 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.800 So make sure you one have the understanding, and then 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:34.480 like also benchmark yourself against your colleague. You know, what 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.879 are they doing that I should be doing? And how 0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.720 can then you implement that into your own you know, workflow, 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:42.880 and especially in your relationship with your manager. 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:43.920 Yeah, but I think in. 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.399 Steena's case or anybody's case, when you're dealing with a 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:49.199 bad manager, you first have to assess the situation. You 0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.479 have to identify how does that person work, and then 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:53.480 how do I work and kind of try to bridge 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:56.800 that gap. And this is applicable for everybody. So whether 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.000