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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's producing an off Broadway production

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Speaker 1: of Three Little Pigs. The difference is all their houses

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Speaker 1: are made of random drug store items. All puff and

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Speaker 1: puff and use all my bronzer and lipstick to blow

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Speaker 1: your vasoline house down.

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Speaker 2: It's an interesting twist.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I guess it'll be easier for the props guys.

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Speaker 1: It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news

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Speaker 1: stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except

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Speaker 1: we have a laser and those other Clorox Weippenheimer's just don't.

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Speaker 1: First Laser Stories out of Missouri City, Texas, Mike Trinn

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Speaker 1: is a dad who got up in the morning and

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Speaker 1: got ready to take his kids to school on their

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Speaker 1: first day. Wait to go Dad. As he was grabbing

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Speaker 1: some last minute things, his daughter put on her backpack

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Speaker 1: and headed out to the car. Then immediately came running back,

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Speaker 1: screaming about to go down. She told her dad there

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Speaker 1: was an alligator right outside the front door.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh come on, who's gonna believe that?

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Speaker 1: Mike says he initially thought she was joking and that

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Speaker 1: she just didn't want to go to school.

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Speaker 2: That's what I would have get in the car. Okay,

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Speaker 2: just get in the car.

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Speaker 1: Kids, So we're like what. Mike took Brooks approach and

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Speaker 1: told her to knock it off and that she was

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Speaker 1: going to her first day of middle school whether she

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Speaker 1: liked it or not. And then he opened the door

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Speaker 1: and quickly discovered she was telling the truth. That's right.

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Speaker 1: There was a large alligator laying right on their driveway.

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Speaker 1: He you, Mike, call multiple wildlife rescue facilities, but no

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Speaker 1: one was available to come out and deal with the gator.

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Speaker 2: Still gaters are in the area.

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Speaker 1: She was determined to get his daughter to class and

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Speaker 1: figured he had watched every show Steve when the Crocodile

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Speaker 1: Hunter had ever made, so he's ready. He was going

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Speaker 1: to go for it.

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Speaker 2: I mean, he doesn't have an arm anymore, but he

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Speaker 2: got his daughter to school.

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Speaker 1: Well, first he grabbed a towel and threw it over

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Speaker 1: the gator's eyes. That is what they say you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to do. First time was a miss, but he got

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Speaker 1: it on the second try.

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Speaker 2: Brave enough to reach down and grab the towel.

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Speaker 1: Pocket. Yeah, exactly. I'd have been one attempt and be like,

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Speaker 1: all right, we're not going to school. So At that point,

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Speaker 1: gator was angry opening its mouth, but once he couldn't

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Speaker 1: see anything, Mike jumped on it while his older daughter

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Speaker 1: grabbed the duct tape and wrapped the reptile's powerful jaws closed.

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Speaker 2: No way, he wouldn't even do it himself.

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Speaker 1: He then threw it in the trunk, dropped his daughter

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Speaker 1: off at school, and took the gator to a nearby pond,

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Speaker 1: where he undid the duct tape and released it back

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Speaker 1: into the wild.

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Speaker 2: Who okay, dad, Irwin, that's actually really cool.

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Speaker 1: His daughter was late, but Mike made sure she videotaped

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, as he didn't think any school if

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Speaker 1: it would believe his notes saying I'm sorry my daughter

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Speaker 1: was late because of a rogue gator. I thought my

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Speaker 1: dog ate.

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Speaker 2: My homework was bad wrestle it but we made it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like sure his next laser stories out of

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Speaker 1: the weird world of workouts. Some people enjoy going to exercise,

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Speaker 1: while others feel like it's complete torture. So you tell

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Speaker 1: me if you think this is a gimmick or if

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Speaker 1: it could actually work. Because there's a chain of gyms

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Speaker 1: called Blink Fitness, and they're trying to attract new members

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Speaker 1: by offering to hypnotize people and trick them into enjoying exercise.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard for me to believe in hypnotism.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're calling it gymnosis. It's described as a series

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Speaker 1: of free in gym and virtual hypnosis sessions that are

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Speaker 1: supposed to make you motivated to work out by accessing your.

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Speaker 2: Subconscious Accidentally start balking like a chicken on the treadmill

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Speaker 2: and you're like, ah, somebody did something wrong.

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Speaker 1: They say results are not guaranteed, but the people in

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Speaker 1: charge claim for the most part it works well. For

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Speaker 1: the most part.

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Speaker 2: That's a good gear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna be out just lifting random stuff in

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Speaker 1: the world at that point doing this mccurley's children. This

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Speaker 1: next Lazer story is out of Scotland. There's finally something

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Speaker 1: good that could come from climate change. Long last forced

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Speaker 1: the lockness Monster out of hiding. Oh, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Destroying the entire planet to get that done is maybe

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Speaker 2: worth it, Jeffrey.

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Speaker 1: The British tabloids say they've talked to experts believe Nessi's

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Speaker 1: food sources are currently impacted by rising temperatures in a

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Speaker 1: more volatile climate, and if that continues to happen. Nessie

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Speaker 1: could come out of lock Ness in search of food. Wow,

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Speaker 1: does it have feed? Like? We haven't confirmed any of this.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't really like the gator story from before.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what we.

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Speaker 1: You can't duct tape his mouth? Yeah. A rep for

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Speaker 1: a local climate action committee says something needs to be

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Speaker 1: done because quote NeSSI is the most important monster in Scotland. Duh,

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Speaker 1: how do even knows eats? Yeah, it's a good point.

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Speaker 1: It is unclear what message although it would be bad

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Speaker 1: if it was humans, or would it be bad? I

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Speaker 1: could see the headlines now Lockness monster eats the entire

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Speaker 1: cast of Selling Sunset and the world rejoices.

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Speaker 2: That cast definitely not organic, it's definitely multi plastic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, this next Laizer story is out of what are

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Speaker 1: you thinking? Headquarters? Oh?

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Speaker 2: Jerry Seinfeld lives.

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Speaker 1: Baby name experts have released a list of the top

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Speaker 1: Google searches for can I name my baby blank? Oh? No,

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Speaker 1: there's dozens of names on here, but these are the highlights.

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Speaker 1: Number ten, people want to know if they can name

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Speaker 1: their baby Amen, just.

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Speaker 2: So after every prayer you're talking about me.

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Speaker 1: Number nine the name baby.

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Speaker 2: Well journey dancing, did it right?

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Speaker 1: That was just imagine introducing your new kid to your parents, like,

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Speaker 1: here's my baby, baby, there's guy's name.

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Speaker 2: Guy, you've sold me.

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Speaker 1: You're right. Number eight is Batman.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, you with like Adam West or something?

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Speaker 1: You know it. Number seven Cinderella. I like Cinderella. Maybe

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Speaker 1: if you really want to emphasize a curfew in their team,

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Speaker 1: Cindy hell. Number six is doctor. It's one way to

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Speaker 1: ensure your kid is definitely growing up to be a doctor.

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Speaker 2: My kid's a doctor.

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Speaker 1: Wanted to see a homeless guy yelling to himself, I'm

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Speaker 1: a doctor. It created a lot of confusion on airplanes

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Speaker 1: where it's like, is there a doctor in the Technically

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Speaker 1: I'm a doctor. I work in sales. Number five top

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Speaker 1: Google search on can I name my baby? Blank is Disney?

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Speaker 1: I met?

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Speaker 2: That is copywriter. Yeah, I met Disney, will suit, I

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Speaker 2: have a feeling.

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Speaker 1: Number four is eleven, which is Stranger Things inspired. Number

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Speaker 1: three is John or Jane Doe's that's objectively hilarious.

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, if your last name is dough, you

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Speaker 2: got to lean into it.

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Speaker 1: And if something that happens to you. Number two is

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Speaker 1: actually just cruel naming your kid Shrek like onions.

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Speaker 2: There's a lot of fons that I know.

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Speaker 1: At least Halloween is taking care of their entire life.

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Speaker 1: That's nice. The number one top Google search on can

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Speaker 1: I Name my baby blank? Is zero?

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Speaker 2: I mean I like doctor better than that, at least.

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Speaker 1: Better than zero. Really trying to inspire your child to

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Speaker 1: be someone special. Zero. And that's why this guy doesn't

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Speaker 1: have any kids. Too much pressure to name them these days.

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Speaker 1: He literally has zero babies, which is to name as

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Speaker 1: Plus he has enough problems with doctor shoals odor reasons.

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Speaker 1: Sally means laser stories come to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We'll do it again, same time on Monday

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,