Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, so good to be here.
Speaker 1: You know on time? What time did you arrive?
Speaker 2: Friend? At twelve twenty?
Speaker 1: Wow? And Andrew, you arrived exact?
Speaker 2: Oh god, eleven for I arrived at twelve fifty now
Speaker 2: twelve now, So my apologies friend, I'm so sorry. And
Speaker 2: oh I was awake early today because I hadn't. I
Speaker 2: was awake early. I don't have an excuse. I do
Speaker 2: not have one. He was awake early.
Speaker 1: I was got up early this morning. What time did
Speaker 1: you get up? I got up at eight something?
Speaker 2: Why so early, Marie? Well, since I had an interesting
Speaker 2: evening and I had to wake up early to reflect
Speaker 2: my soul.
Speaker 1: What happened?
Speaker 2: My soul was like now, niggas, Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: know you don't deserve all this rest, I can even wow.
Speaker 2: I well, we'll get into it. But yeah, Marie's late,
Speaker 2: and we text her like, hey, where are you?
Speaker 1: No, I didn't get text from you guys saying where
Speaker 1: are you? Not where are you?
Speaker 2: But no, I hit you guys at twelve twenty something
Speaker 2: and said I'll be there in ten to fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she Oh Marie, tell them what you told
Speaker 1: me to do?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you were like, wow, can't believe, like
Speaker 2: you sent me a very mean emoji, and I was like, sorry,
Speaker 2: record some ads or something, so the studio time is
Speaker 2: not going to waste, you know, right we in here.
Speaker 2: I had already did that. I was on I was listen.
Speaker 2: I was vacationing out of the country. Didn't know when
Speaker 2: the ads got recorded.
Speaker 1: So oh well, I.
Speaker 2: Mean, if you listen to our episodes, you know that
Speaker 2: they're been recorded.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying, friend, Yeah, exactly, I
Speaker 1: have no idea what you're saying to me.
Speaker 2: Right now, it's coming You're coming in hot. It's too
Speaker 2: hot outside for all this heat in here. Anyways, Marie's back.
Speaker 2: We're so happy. We're so excited.
Speaker 1: It sounds so stoked.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we're so excited to hear all of everything. Wow,
Speaker 2: the e prey Ho. But wait before you get into that,
Speaker 2: what happened last night? Well, sis, you're speaking of v
Speaker 2: prey Ho. I said, let me go get some dick tonight.
Speaker 2: And that was last night.
Speaker 1: And I matched with this dude earlier in the day
Speaker 1: and we have been talking and I was like, is
Speaker 1: he cute? And I sent his photo to Carolina and
Speaker 1: she was like, he's hot. Can I see him? How
Speaker 1: come do you?
Speaker 2: Maria always messages everybody else, only message Carolina and Andre
Speaker 2: because they don't sex or dick shame me.
Speaker 1: You do that, you did chat, you'd be dick shaming.
Speaker 1: You'd be like, you'd be like him. That person ain't
Speaker 1: no black people.
Speaker 2: So anyway, Carolina and Andre are my two messiest because
Speaker 2: they have no stand They won't shame me. No, they
Speaker 2: don't shame her because they will literally fuck a wall
Speaker 2: so she feels safe.
Speaker 1: It's not about.
Speaker 2: Well me banging a wall doesn't make me feel safe,
Speaker 2: sis that unless there's a chair there.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Look listen.
Speaker 2: So I matched with this dude and I got real
Speaker 2: high last night and it was really late in It
Speaker 2: was like eleven o'clock and we have been talking back
Speaker 2: and forth and he was like, he was like, so,
Speaker 2: I guess you're not.
Speaker 1: Coming and I was like, uh. He was like, or
Speaker 1: do you need me to come get you?
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, it's a left driver. And
Speaker 2: I was like, ah, if.
Speaker 1: He hadn't, if he didn't come pick me up, I
Speaker 1: would not have gone.
Speaker 2: Wait, can I see a picture? How about I tell
Speaker 2: you who I play him in a movie. Okay, Oh
Speaker 2: my god, he's missing his eyes.
Speaker 1: Are you're playing in a movie? Mario? Will you say?
Speaker 1: It's just a friend, like bigger, but like bigger, like buff,
Speaker 1: like buff, but like when he took his shirt off,
Speaker 1: wasn't buff like all you doing shoulders like you don't
Speaker 1: do nothing, you don't do nothing else? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: All right, So this so I came to pick me up.
Speaker 2: So this pillowcase looking uber driver came and picked you up,
Speaker 2: pillowcase braid my hair, came and picked me up, and
Speaker 2: you know, I made him wait for ten minutes outside.
Speaker 1: Uh. And then when I got down, I was like,
Speaker 1: what kind of car you drive? He was like a Mustang?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh so he forty five?
Speaker 2: The dudes no his Okay, so his profile says twenty seven, right, huh.
Speaker 1: So I get in the car and I'm and it's
Speaker 1: weird already, it's weird. I should not have gone right.
Speaker 1: I don't know this man.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to do vacation eat prey host stuff in
Speaker 2: my neighborhood. And that doesn't that stupid doesn't make sense.
Speaker 1: But if we fucking love for the pod.
Speaker 2: I mean for the podcast, Yes, but on my g no,
Speaker 2: so you v I'm in his car and it's like
Speaker 2: awkward silence, you know. So I'm like, ah, well, what
Speaker 2: do you do? He was like, I'm a junior architect
Speaker 2: and I was like, what does that mean? He was like,
Speaker 2: do you know what an architect is?
Speaker 1: I was like yeah. He was like, I'm the junior
Speaker 1: that and I was like, so what do you do?
Speaker 2: He was definitely lying because he could not tell me
Speaker 2: what an architect did.
Speaker 1: How come you didn ask all this shit up top
Speaker 1: sis On his profile he says junior architect twenty seven.
Speaker 1: So in the car, I'm like, well, what do you do? Well,
Speaker 1: you just wait the car to verify this insists everything
Speaker 1: that I did last night was foolish and I should
Speaker 1: not be here right now, right right. So we get
Speaker 1: to his house. He lives alone. It's a studio, but
Speaker 1: it looks like a uh.
Speaker 2: Don't let yeah, okay, like fifteen minutes from my house,
Speaker 2: so too close, it's too close to me.
Speaker 1: We get there, I'm like, what is this like a
Speaker 1: weird like halfway house? Think it was weird? Everything?
Speaker 2: Uh, everything was just awkward. I think he was no
Speaker 2: shade to the people who are. But I think he
Speaker 2: was a little bit on the spectrum because it was
Speaker 2: very awkward and very like, couldn't make eye contact.
Speaker 1: He also needed glasses. He was very blind.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but them autistic got the strength Dick autistic. Dick,
Speaker 2: Dick is strong autistic. Well, let me talk about his autistic.
Speaker 1: TWA's not a good We we never kissed. We never kissed,
Speaker 1: oh my, which is strange.
Speaker 2: I was there for like fifteen minutes and then I
Speaker 2: was like I got to go home because he was
Speaker 2: like so he's like, we're hooking up a little bit
Speaker 2: and he's like, let me see your tongue. And I
Speaker 2: was like, sir, I didn't come here to suck your duke,
Speaker 2: so that's not gonna happen. And he was like what.
Speaker 2: And I was like, here's a better idea. How about
Speaker 2: I sit on your face? And he was like how
Speaker 2: is that the same thing? And I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, he's really he really is twenty seven, he
Speaker 2: might be twenty two.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, my stomach hurts. I
Speaker 1: gotta go.
Speaker 2: He was like, what you feel like you need He's
Speaker 2: like no, this was me. It was I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna come tonight, so.
Speaker 1: I gotta go right. If I'm not gonna come, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. So I was like, uh, what, my stomach hurts.
Speaker 1: I don't feel good.
Speaker 2: He was like, you think you need to throw up?
Speaker 2: I was like, I think I need a poom boom
Speaker 2: And then I went to order an uber but he
Speaker 2: dropped me off at my house so door to do
Speaker 2: a service. Wait, and then he's asking me all these
Speaker 2: questions like I see you out of blue, check on
Speaker 2: your on your Instagram?
Speaker 1: What do you do?
Speaker 2: I was like, sir, you are asking these questions too
Speaker 2: late to ask these before you were inside me. So wait,
Speaker 2: So he was inside you and then you were like no, no.
Speaker 1: It wasn't it wasn't good. I was like I.
Speaker 2: I was like, I should not be here, okay, and
Speaker 2: this is not gonna end well for me.
Speaker 1: One of us is gonna come and it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be me.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna leave immediately. When you said you shouldn't
Speaker 2: be there, I was like.
Speaker 1: How did you get it? Nobody's supposed to be anyway.
Speaker 1: So I left. He dropped me off and I'm like,
Speaker 1: is he a psycho?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: You know's where I live? I deleted my Tinder last night.
Speaker 1: That's what I did.
Speaker 2: That istter, That's how bad it was. Tenderest for vacations only.
Speaker 2: I'm still on a hinge. I feel like back in
Speaker 2: New York. What I want now is a summer fling, right,
Speaker 2: So I feel like on hinges we have conversations, then
Speaker 2: we go get a drink, and then maybe we sleep together.
Speaker 2: But last night was conversation car house, back in the
Speaker 2: car home, So you're reckless, though I know I am
Speaker 2: reckless and I got home and audience, you need supervision.
Speaker 2: That's why you need to be messaging me, bitch. You
Speaker 2: messaged in Carolina, Carolina, I didn't. I have not spoken
Speaker 2: to Andre about this yet. So Carolina was We were
Speaker 2: on the phone all day yesterday, so she naturally is
Speaker 2: the person that I was talking to about this. She
Speaker 2: was like, call me in the morning when you get
Speaker 2: home after sex. I called her literally an hour after that, and.
Speaker 1: She was like, uh, what happened? Wait? So I was like,
Speaker 1: nothing good. I am supportive of the hoeing. If you
Speaker 1: would have dropped the pin, I would have been there.
Speaker 2: I would have been outside his house. That's not the
Speaker 2: support I need, friend, I don't need you. I don't
Speaker 2: need to drop a pin in you to be for
Speaker 2: you to be there when I come outside. I don't
Speaker 2: need you walk of shame, shaman. I wasn't gonna shout.
Speaker 2: I'd be like ready to fight. Read it's about to
Speaker 2: be girl fright City City. He would literally blow on
Speaker 2: you and you would fall down the set Sydney.
Speaker 1: You would shout you humpty dumpty. He would humpty dumpty
Speaker 1: that ass.
Speaker 2: Oh, I would have left eye his ship and you
Speaker 2: know of match.
Speaker 1: Okay, but light is shout out a little kim, he said. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So that was last night.
Speaker 2: But all of the hoeing that I did internationally, I
Speaker 2: think I was a little bit smarter. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2: You don't need to be smart. It's just you need
Speaker 2: to make sure you're safe. Yeah, smartnes doesn't have anything yesterday. No,
Speaker 2: smart and safe do go hand in hand. If you're
Speaker 2: not smart, you're not safe if you if you're smart,
Speaker 2: you might not fuck but if you safe, you might
Speaker 2: fucking get out safely.
Speaker 1: No, if you're smart, you wouldn't go in the first place.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't do that. I should have stayed my high
Speaker 1: ass in the house and watched finished watching a fin
Speaker 1: line between Love and Hate because that's what I was
Speaker 1: gonna do. And then I was like, I knew you was.
Speaker 2: About to do something shady because I messed you. I
Speaker 2: was like, what you're doing tonight? Silence.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: I started to text you back and I was on
Speaker 2: FaceTime with Carolina, so I was like, silence. I was like,
Speaker 2: I know what that is. She about to go out
Speaker 2: there and do her side gig.
Speaker 1: Now, this is my main gig. You know I'm unemployed, girl,
Speaker 1: This is my main gig.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I tried to repeat something that worked for me
Speaker 2: in Amsterdam and this was not that.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, this wasn't it.
Speaker 2: I mean, the people have literally been on the edge
Speaker 2: of the seats about what the fuck happened? So tell
Speaker 2: everybody about the stories. This is this story, this episode
Speaker 2: is it's all about Marie re re re re forget
Speaker 2: about me, me me Sorry.
Speaker 1: We just go back a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: There was an episode that was all about you, and
Speaker 2: it was about you being arrested, and we sat through
Speaker 2: that hilarious story of your struggle and it was all.
Speaker 1: About you, you you you you.
Speaker 2: Singing I'm here. I'm also I'm on the same key
Speaker 2: as you.
Speaker 1: I want to hear everything. Same note, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I truly know nothing. Oh you know some I don't know.
Speaker 4: You know that.
Speaker 1: When I went to London, I matched with this man.
Speaker 2: Start exactly off where you started with the e Prey
Speaker 2: host trip. They want to know where you started. Okay,
Speaker 2: So I started. I thought I was going to be
Speaker 2: in the same part of France with the whole three weeks,
Speaker 2: but after four days I was like, I gotta get
Speaker 2: the hell out of here.
Speaker 1: This place sucks.
Speaker 2: My sister got options, okay, sis went to Switzerland. Okay, yum,
Speaker 2: chocolate factory, cheese museum, doing all that cool Swiss stuff.
Speaker 2: But that doesn't matter. I didn't bang nobody in knowne
Speaker 2: those places. I get to London.
Speaker 1: I match with this guy.
Speaker 2: He's like his profile said Fridays are for shopping and eating,
Speaker 2: and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, today's Friday.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I matched with him and he's like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing today?
Speaker 2: I was like eating and shopping and he was like,
Speaker 2: you look like you need some new agent provocateur and
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: Like, yes, I do. You're buying nine hundred dollar panties. Stupid.
Speaker 1: I was like yes, I do, absolutely obviously. So we
Speaker 1: were supposed to meet up, and am I telling the
Speaker 1: story how I told you the story? I'm not telling
Speaker 1: the story. How you told me the story?
Speaker 2: How I told you?
Speaker 1: Okay, great, got it.
Speaker 2: So meet up with this guy and he's exactly what
Speaker 2: you think he is. He's exactly what you think a
Speaker 2: man who would offer to buy a stranger panties is.
Speaker 2: He's white and short, and we go in and uh,
Speaker 2: it's kind of awkward, but also like sis, you.
Speaker 1: Know, when when in Rome or when in London.
Speaker 2: So I'm picking up all the stuff that I think
Speaker 2: is attractive and everything that I think is gonna make
Speaker 2: my butt look big.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, soor do you need me to see
Speaker 1: Do you need to see me trying this stuff on?
Speaker 1: You know, I got time. I loationed my.
Speaker 2: Butt today, so you know, it's a little bit of
Speaker 2: a fashion show for him. We get to the register,
Speaker 2: thousands upon thousands of dollars and his card gets declined.
Speaker 1: Oh that was fun for me.
Speaker 2: I think that the whole ruse there is his card
Speaker 2: always gets declined and he just wants to see people
Speaker 2: in lingerie for free. It's so smart. He's brilliant genius
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna do that, are you?
Speaker 1: Yes, but not at agent provocator nude, do it at
Speaker 1: Claire's successorness.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be a rainbow. Rainbow got a lingerie section
Speaker 2: to baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: So then I matched with this black dude, beautiful, bearded,
Speaker 2: his hair, he has all his hair like hot. He
Speaker 2: tells me that I'm beautiful. I'm like, thank you, sir,
Speaker 2: you're beautiful. Also, he asked me how long I'm in
Speaker 2: London for.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, for two more days or something stupid
Speaker 1: like that. He unmatched me.
Speaker 2: He unmatched me, so that I matched with this German
Speaker 2: dude who's like tall and looks like a model, right
Speaker 2: he German. The date was boring, but we go to
Speaker 2: this bar to get some drinks and this like hotel
Speaker 2: lobby and we sit down and as soon as we
Speaker 2: sit down, the bartender is the black dude who unmatched me.
Speaker 2: Oh my fucking gosh.
Speaker 1: Looking sexy as ever, just so hot, oh so beautiful,
Speaker 1: like beautiful, he had all his teeth and everything. I
Speaker 1: was like, ah, but I already sat down and I can't.
Speaker 2: I mean, there's no way that I in my mind
Speaker 2: that I can play off us moving hey.
Speaker 1: Guy that I don't really care about, a guy that
Speaker 1: I do like, is here? Can we leave? I didn't
Speaker 1: say that.
Speaker 2: Instead, I sat there in this bartender's line of sight
Speaker 2: and laughed really hard all night, just han I've ever had.
Speaker 1: Screaming.
Speaker 2: So finally, this white dude goes away to go to
Speaker 2: the bathroom, and I'm like, well, I'm pop up.
Speaker 1: And talk to my friend. So I jump up and
Speaker 1: I go to the bar and I'm like, hey, can
Speaker 1: I have my tabs? I can close out? And he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's the next after this? What are your plans? I'm like,
Speaker 1: what are my plans?
Speaker 2: And I start to say to him, you look really familiar.
Speaker 2: I think it's because you unmatched me.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And right when I start to say that, the white
Speaker 2: dude comes back upstairs and he's like what's going on?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, ah, freaking hey, white dude. So I
Speaker 2: let him walk me back to my hotel.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I was gonna double back and
Speaker 1: go see that bartender. But I was like, well, what
Speaker 1: if it wasn't him? It was definitely it was him. Yeah, Marie,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? How did you drop the ball on
Speaker 1: that baby, I'm so.
Speaker 2: Dumb made a three pointer right there.
Speaker 1: But the he unmatched me, and I was so upset
Speaker 1: about him. It was him playing hard to get bitch.
Speaker 2: No, he he wants like a wife. He's he's trying
Speaker 2: to get his inderes elbow on. He wants a wife anyway,
Speaker 2: So I ended up having sex with somebody else and
Speaker 2: it was the worst.
Speaker 1: Sex in my life.
Speaker 2: Okay, please explain.
Speaker 1: It was this little Italian man and I know, and
Speaker 1: I know I did it wrong.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm in London. I should have banged a dude
Speaker 2: from the UK. I banged an Italian that don't speak
Speaker 2: no English. His name was just seppy. His hair was
Speaker 2: too long for him to be like laying on top
Speaker 2: of me. It was the worst sex I've ever had
Speaker 2: in my life. Literally, while it was happening, I was like,
Speaker 2: is he inside me? I was like this this sex,
Speaker 2: this is wrong?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 1: And his body was squishy.
Speaker 2: I was like he had no idea what he was doing.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure he was a virgin. He was twenty
Speaker 2: six years old. He must have been a virgin. There's
Speaker 2: no way you're that bad at sex. Because he tricked me, right,
Speaker 2: like the kisses were like good. You were like, oh okay, wow,
Speaker 2: he might he might, God know what he's doing.
Speaker 4: Right, Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Because Italians are good at flirting. What does top lip
Speaker 1: look like?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: What does top lip look like? I don't remember, sis,
Speaker 1: I don't remember. But he looked like do y'all remember
Speaker 1: the Tarzan cartoon? He looked like that, like if Tarzan
Speaker 1: that's who? Yes, But I didn't say that the guy
Speaker 1: was ugly. I said the dick was ugly, like the
Speaker 1: sex was bad, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: But he was short.
Speaker 1: He was maybe like five six five seven, five to seven.
Speaker 2: If you guys can't hear Andrew, he said, that's tragic. Honestly,
Speaker 2: I think all men are short though, so he might
Speaker 2: have been five nine, but I'm saying he wasn't tall.
Speaker 1: Okay. He spoke no English and just kept saying I
Speaker 1: love you, And I was like, you have you got
Speaker 1: to go, so after it's over, after you even give
Speaker 1: you that b.
Speaker 2: Since in my hotel room, I was like I should
Speaker 2: get out of here, like I gotta go, like that's how.
Speaker 1: Bad it was.
Speaker 2: I was like I should leave, And the next day
Speaker 2: I left. So what kept happening is I would have
Speaker 2: sex with these people and then fly out the.
Speaker 1: Day after because I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: see this.
Speaker 2: You're so brilliant again. So after London, I went to Amsterdam,
Speaker 2: had the best sex of my life there. Okay, finally
Speaker 2: something we could get into talk about that fabulous Okay,
Speaker 2: So it was the same thing. Right, I'm on tinder,
Speaker 2: I'm leaving the next day. I'm like, I gotta get
Speaker 2: some amster dick.
Speaker 1: Right. So I had went out on a day Okay,
Speaker 1: So I was standing on the canal looking.
Speaker 2: At the dirty ass water. I heard a voice behind
Speaker 2: me go, It's beautiful, isn't it. I was like, this
Speaker 2: is about to be.
Speaker 1: Some maid in Manhattan type bs. I turn around.
Speaker 2: It's a white man who's way too confident to be
Speaker 2: talking to me, like, way too cocky to be like
Speaker 2: that comfortable talking to me.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful. And he asked sick
Speaker 1: me to dinner. I let him and then he's boring,
Speaker 1: so I let him pay, and then I.
Speaker 2: Was like, I'm going home right to jump on tender right.
Speaker 2: I let him feed me and then I was going
Speaker 2: home smart right, genius. So he's like, oh, I'll walk you,
Speaker 2: it's no problem. And I'm like, all right, I'm leaving
Speaker 2: him at the door. Okay.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: So we get to my house and I'm like, all right,
Speaker 2: thanks for walking me. He's like, you're not gonna invite
Speaker 2: me in. I was like, absolutely not, and I left
Speaker 2: him on the sidewalk right beautiful. He was like, i'll
Speaker 2: call you tomorrow. I was like, no, no, we're not
Speaker 2: gonna speak. My phone is gonna be cut up.
Speaker 1: I don't have any data for the rest of my trip.
Speaker 2: So I jump on tender and I mated with this
Speaker 2: dude who's very attractive, like a sexy movie star type.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: Right, you have a picture?
Speaker 1: No, so I very I deleted Tender. Right. So I
Speaker 1: met with this guy. We're talking. I'm like, well, what
Speaker 1: you know?
Speaker 2: You close right, because I'm like, I have to get
Speaker 2: this done before I leave. He's like, oh, before you
Speaker 2: come over here, I need to tell you that I
Speaker 2: used to be a professional skateboarder or something stupid like that.
Speaker 1: He was like, and I broke my back.
Speaker 2: He's like, I could still walk in stuff, but you know,
Speaker 2: i'd be tired, so i'd be in a wheelchair. I
Speaker 2: was like, ah, this crippled nigga hit you with the
Speaker 2: best dick in your life. But no, no, no, that's said.
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not coming. He was like what, He's like,
Speaker 2: everything still works. I was like, I don't care. He
Speaker 2: was like, I prove it. I said, you don't have
Speaker 2: anything to prove to me. I've had bad sex with
Speaker 2: people with good backs. I'm not about to have you
Speaker 2: tell me or try to prove to me with your
Speaker 2: bad back that you got good dick.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's it's you don't have.
Speaker 2: To prove any nothing.
Speaker 1: He's like, oh haha. I think he's like I.
Speaker 2: Feel like you're you're gonna miss out on something like
Speaker 2: I'm not coming to your broken house. No I'm not coming.
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not walking up the ramp to your house.
Speaker 2: It's not in a wheelchair. He's in a wheelchair. So
Speaker 2: I'm acted with this other dude. Okay, that dude unmatching me,
Speaker 2: the one in the chair. He thought, I got good
Speaker 2: dick from a d dude from Professor X. That's what
Speaker 2: I thought. Hey, this has been up and down, bitch,
Speaker 2: this has been a roller coaster.
Speaker 1: I know. I'm trying to tell you the story. So
Speaker 1: I match with this guy.
Speaker 2: He's the most Dutch looking person that you could probably
Speaker 2: imagine in the world. His name has like mad consonants
Speaker 2: in it and like a vowel. And he's like, was
Speaker 2: it all sex, drugs and rock and roll for you
Speaker 2: this trip or did you have.
Speaker 1: Time for some culture? And I was like, I got
Speaker 1: some culture, I did some drugs, haven't done any sex
Speaker 1: stuff yet. And he was like, well, what are you
Speaker 1: waiting for. I was like, you to send me your
Speaker 1: address and he was like, right, Marie, when did you
Speaker 1: become I said that, and I dropped my phone and
Speaker 1: was like, I like left it. I typed it because
Speaker 1: I was like, that's what I As soon as he
Speaker 1: said what are you waiting for? I was like, aha,
Speaker 1: I got something for that ass? Oh my god?
Speaker 2: When did you become such a like professional at this
Speaker 2: in Amsterdam? So anyway, uh, He's like, if I send
Speaker 2: you my address, you'll come to my I was like, yep,
Speaker 2: was he hot? He was okay?
Speaker 1: And he was like, and you don't have a picture
Speaker 1: of him, Sydney. I deleted Tinder. You don't screenshot.
Speaker 2: Nobody screenshots anymore. I have a picture of this white man,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna show it to you right now anyway. So,
Speaker 2: and and I wasn't gonna go.
Speaker 1: Okay, I wasn't gonna go.
Speaker 2: Andre was like he was like, Yo, Dutch dudes got
Speaker 2: the have the best sex game. And I was like,
Speaker 2: shut up, Andre, like you a hoe, shut up? Yeah,
Speaker 2: And He's like no, Andre's no. But Andre was like,
Speaker 2: he was like no.
Speaker 1: He was like he's gonna have a big dick and
Speaker 1: he's gonna have it's gonna be good sex.
Speaker 2: I was like, all right, whatever, Andre, I I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: My flat was early in the morning, but I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make time. I get there and we talk,
Speaker 2: we have some tea.
Speaker 1: He builds boats. That's some real like Amsterdam job. He
Speaker 1: builds boats.
Speaker 2: Nurse you regular ass dusty American men.
Speaker 1: Y'all don't do ship, you don't do anything. Y'all don't
Speaker 1: build boats like that's what fuck.
Speaker 2: That's why sexy be bad with you. Yeah, y'all need
Speaker 2: to start building some boats. Find a fucking hobby.
Speaker 1: Y'all need to start building some mother haffing boats. This
Speaker 1: is this is him, so oh my god.
Speaker 2: Wow, right, very Dutch, very Dutch bitch. You got a
Speaker 2: he got like two filters on it, buddy, I could
Speaker 2: tell you yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Andrew, that's what he looks like. I mean, he
Speaker 1: was a little redder than this, but that's what.
Speaker 2: Wow. Anyway, so we start making out. I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is weird. I don't really know this man.
Speaker 1: But then he just knew what he was doing. Sis.
Speaker 2: It was very good, best sex I've ever had. It
Speaker 2: was great in your entire life, in my entire life.
Speaker 2: So halfway through the sex, right or like kind of
Speaker 2: in the beginning of the sex, I hear him sniffing
Speaker 2: behind me, and I'm like, what you doing cocaine? And
Speaker 2: I turned around and he's he's like.
Speaker 1: Have you heard of poppers? And I was like, I said,
Speaker 1: a straight why dude in Amsterdam is not about to
Speaker 1: teach me about no damn poppers? I said, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know about poppers. Oh my gosh, I do you want some?
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, I do.
Speaker 2: So we're doing these poppers, Sis, Magic Andrew.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. It's crazy. Wait, okay, explain what poppers feel like.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I've never had poppers. I don't even know how to
Speaker 1: explain it.
Speaker 4: It felt.
Speaker 1: I mean, it doesn't last that long. It just but
Speaker 1: also it's.
Speaker 2: Like it's kind of like a head high, like a
Speaker 2: head body so high. It's cute.
Speaker 1: Sis.
Speaker 2: Anyway, so tell the people what you were telling me
Speaker 2: on the phone. Don't fucking hold back down, bitch, baby.
Speaker 2: So I was like, uh. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I feel like I feel like you're gonna make me squirt.
Speaker 2: And he was like, oh am I Sis destroyed the mattress.
Speaker 2: I think he had to get a new mattress. Also,
Speaker 2: I think I ruined his TV.
Speaker 4: It was going far.
Speaker 1: You didn't tell me that the squirting.
Speaker 2: No, you told me about the skirting, but the TV, Sis,
Speaker 2: it was awesome. After it's done, we're all tired, I'm
Speaker 2: all discombobulated, right.
Speaker 1: I floated above my body and I came back and.
Speaker 2: Your hair survived all that, baby, I mean, he wasn't
Speaker 2: doing it in my hair.
Speaker 4: Sis.
Speaker 2: It was great though, Like he knew exactly what he
Speaker 2: was doing. Every single thing that he did, he did
Speaker 2: it with a purpose. And I was like, this is
Speaker 2: what sex should be like with everybody.
Speaker 1: All the time. I'm like, well, what, like what is
Speaker 1: so great about? Like, how do you know? Anyway? Did
Speaker 1: you do the.
Speaker 2: Poppers before he busted open, or like.
Speaker 1: Uh since it was like throughout it was like it
Speaker 1: was like poppers, that poppers, that poppers. So you guys
Speaker 1: did pops the whole time.
Speaker 2: Squore popper, squirre poppers, your poppers, shout out to rush
Speaker 2: oh my, and then he was like, he was you
Speaker 2: can stay here.
Speaker 1: I'm not kicking you out. Whatever. I was like, I
Speaker 1: have a flight to catch in a couple hours. I
Speaker 1: gotta go. So I left and he had it.
Speaker 2: He was asking me what I did or whatever, and
Speaker 2: I told him I was a comic, but I wouldn't
Speaker 2: tell him my last name until after I left. So
Speaker 2: he watched a bunch of my videos and he was like,
Speaker 2: you're really funny, and that was really fun. So if
Speaker 2: you're ever in Amsterdam again, holler at me. He didn't
Speaker 2: say holler at me, but he gave me his phone
Speaker 2: number and I sent him mine.
Speaker 1: I was like, if you're ever in New York, girl,
Speaker 1: he'll be here next week, He'll.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that was crazy. So then I get on
Speaker 2: a plane I end up in France. The sex in
Speaker 2: France twas not good. The dude was hot, but he
Speaker 2: just couldn't get hard. No, he like rolled his dick
Speaker 2: up and tried to like throw it in me sock
Speaker 2: out of here, and I was like, I have to go.
Speaker 2: He gave you flasted dick.
Speaker 1: Also, it was ninety seven degrees and there was no
Speaker 1: central air. Oh, which is rude. But he very europe
Speaker 1: and he was very European wedding on top of me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, nah, I can't yuck, and he's
Speaker 1: like he was like, oho, I'm gonna take a shower.
Speaker 2: Took a shower and you were dashed. No, it was
Speaker 2: in my It was in the house that I was saying,
Speaker 2: So I had to stay due. But he was but
Speaker 2: he was hot, you know. He was a rugby player,
Speaker 2: uh like six ' three sexy, right. Like. He came
Speaker 2: back to my house and he was on my balcony.
Speaker 2: He's smoking a cigarette because everybody in Europe smoked cigarettes.
Speaker 2: And there were these there were all these like tourists
Speaker 2: below us that were like watching him, and I got
Speaker 2: up and I was and I just stood to look
Speaker 2: at them. And he was like, oh, you're making them jealous,
Speaker 2: and I was like, good, they should be jealous.
Speaker 1: They're not pretty like me.
Speaker 2: So that's what Europe was was was back and forth,
Speaker 2: me feeling like the hottest person in the world and
Speaker 2: then thinking am I ugly?
Speaker 1: Like that was what Europe was for me?
Speaker 2: Wait? Why it's like walking through the streets like, look
Speaker 2: at how amazing I look compared to everybody on this
Speaker 2: dirty ass street?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And then am I getting trash?
Speaker 2: Dick?
Speaker 1: You're right?
Speaker 2: Luckily?
Speaker 1: Is that why the dick is so bad?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, no, it's just they can't keep up
Speaker 2: and they're probably like intimidated a little bit. They couldn't be.
Speaker 2: They probably thought you were a mirage. They're like, how
Speaker 2: is this stunning, wonderful person in my house or next
Speaker 2: to me and about to let me put my dick
Speaker 2: in her?
Speaker 1: They were blown away.
Speaker 2: I mean the two people who came to me for
Speaker 2: sex sucked. Yeah right, how you Uber and some dick
Speaker 2: to me? And it's like one star one star?
Speaker 1: No? I only Uber won?
Speaker 2: Okay, So the the Italian dude in London just walked.
Speaker 1: He didn't Uber, he was poor, He just walked, yikes
Speaker 1: to the hotel. Well, the girl, now you know, I
Speaker 1: know how the dick was.
Speaker 2: The way it was if you walk into you walk
Speaker 2: this way, stop a way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was giving me a kid that was bad.
Speaker 2: I ubered to the Dutch dick and that, you know,
Speaker 2: best six euros I have spent. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then the French dude had a scooter, so he
Speaker 1: scooted to me zop zoop, and then he tried to
Speaker 1: say that he loved me too, and tried to invite
Speaker 1: himself to New York and was like I could be
Speaker 1: there in August, and I was like, no, he could
Speaker 1: be where in August.
Speaker 2: I bet you he'll come, but you're like, where are
Speaker 2: you gonna stay? Well, because mind you, also, the French
Speaker 2: dude don't really speak no English, so like our whole
Speaker 2: conversation was like me listening to him and trying to
Speaker 2: catch everything he was saying and then throwing six French
Speaker 2: words back at him. So he's like, oh, she's such
Speaker 2: a good listener. Meanwhile, the whole time, I'm just trying
Speaker 2: to figure out he's gonna stop talking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, all right, well, let me
Speaker 2: see if I get some black dick before I get
Speaker 2: out of here, because you know, I haven't done that
Speaker 2: for the break yet.
Speaker 1: And then it didn't happen.
Speaker 2: So last night I was like, Oh, I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: some I'm gonna sleep with this black dude.
Speaker 1: And it was not good.
Speaker 2: So honestly, that's what I get for trying to like
Speaker 2: write the right through trying to balance it out.
Speaker 1: Did you do to talk annoyed about which part the
Speaker 1: guy last night and just that bartender you slipped on that?
Speaker 1: I definitely did. You should a million percent.
Speaker 2: You totally should have let that nigga walk you somewhere
Speaker 2: wrong and then walk you to the wrong place and
Speaker 2: then walk fucking back and be like hey boo.
Speaker 1: But they want to know some of the looks because the.
Speaker 2: Thing about that is that the guy, that guy that
Speaker 2: I went on that date with and saw the bartender,
Speaker 2: he lived in that neighborhood. So I was afraid if
Speaker 2: I came back outside, I was going to bump into him.
Speaker 1: And I was like, it don't matter.
Speaker 2: You were a free agent, bitch, You are free agient.
Speaker 2: And it's like, you don't answer to nobody, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't answer to nobody. But Germans is crazy and
Speaker 2: we know this, and I was like, I don't want
Speaker 2: no problem. They can't be crazier than the dude you
Speaker 2: went to place last night, that dude, so sis. Honestly
Speaker 2: and truly, I cannot believe I did that.
Speaker 1: That is the craziest thing I've.
Speaker 2: Been Can you offer e pre ho excursion You've got
Speaker 2: that same energy, nigga? Yeah, but I can't do that here.
Speaker 2: This is I'm home. I can't be doing international host stuff.
Speaker 1: Are you looking at my nipple right now? You're looking
Speaker 1: at my nipple?
Speaker 2: Real hard?
Speaker 1: Is it out? I mean, is it a problem? I
Speaker 1: didn't go on the trip. I need something too, I
Speaker 1: need to get one. Yes, any questions, Andrew, do you
Speaker 1: have any questions about the trip? Or wait?
Speaker 2: Hold on, Nope, Andrew, you gotta get a mic because
Speaker 2: I got a message about you needing to be on
Speaker 2: the mic. Yeah, you have to be on a microphone.
Speaker 2: We can no longer speak from afar. It's not right.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're doing it. Andrew is at a microphone.
Speaker 4: Hello, I see it. I'm moving now. Okay, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Wow, and finally on the pod.
Speaker 2: Right, Let's talk about what Andrew's wearing first, because people
Speaker 2: were like, when we give a full rundown of the
Speaker 2: look Andrew's giving us Hampton's Carnival shirt. No, he's given
Speaker 2: banana Republic Resort, Sarah.
Speaker 1: But it's very slim, Sarah, It's very slim.
Speaker 2: It's black and blue horizontal stripes and a tiny kaki short.
Speaker 1: And he's got both shoes on.
Speaker 4: I need to get new ones.
Speaker 1: Okay, So the floor is open. If anybody has any
Speaker 1: questions about what I've just discussed, I will answer truthfully
Speaker 1: and honestly and to the best of my ability.
Speaker 2: So that means all lies ready to go. I'm actually
Speaker 2: so ecstatic. I mean, when I spoke to her, I
Speaker 2: was screaming because I was just so happy. But it
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, she was just so free out there, screaming,
Speaker 2: very free, and it was beautiful, and so you know,
Speaker 2: I would have went back for that bartender like.
Speaker 1: Ie that I mean, obviously it was a mistake.
Speaker 2: Like who would he play in a movie?
Speaker 1: Who would play him in a movie? I don't know.
Speaker 1: He his light skin, his hair was not low.
Speaker 2: Not a frokay Michael Ely, Michael like a young not
Speaker 2: tired Michael.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, because he'd be looking real weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know it works, like right, that's why he's tired,
Speaker 1: right right, right, right, right? But do you know who
Speaker 1: Michael Ely is absolutely you could tell by Andrew's hairline.
Speaker 1: You don't know who is. And we're going to take
Speaker 1: a minute to google Michael Eely. I'm letting y'all do
Speaker 1: it now.
Speaker 2: Hold on.
Speaker 5: I just wish I had kind of that, kind of that,
Speaker 5: but more but more like manly and less pretty, less pretty,
Speaker 5: more like he had.
Speaker 1: A bigger he had a nicer body.
Speaker 2: Viewers, I mean listeners, I hope you're out there googling
Speaker 2: who Michael Ely is. Look at that less tired, younger,
Speaker 2: but also more manly. Okay, the only thing that him
Speaker 2: and Michael Eely have in common is the complexion.
Speaker 1: Sis. He didn't really look like this, but like.
Speaker 4: In the movie, Sure does he have blue eyes?
Speaker 1: Michael Ely? Yeah? You like black dudes that have blue eyes?
Speaker 2: No, I mean, I've been seeing all the dick Andrews getting.
Speaker 2: I mean, why this is a very two sided conversation
Speaker 2: over here.
Speaker 1: Andrew, you've been getting a lot of dick too.
Speaker 4: Baby. Well, there's a West Village. Yeah, I'm just telling
Speaker 4: Sydney that it's this guy who has an airbnb. It's
Speaker 4: a mister B and B. So it's for gay people exclusively.
Speaker 1: Mister B and B.
Speaker 4: So yeah, and so when gay people come to your area,
Speaker 4: the host will show them like, this is the queer
Speaker 4: places to go to. This is like the neighborhoods not
Speaker 4: to go to.
Speaker 2: Oh it's not a little tour guide.
Speaker 4: It's cute, but you live in New York.
Speaker 1: What you need that for? I don't know, you want
Speaker 1: an airbnb?
Speaker 4: So this is him we shown I've shown you him before.
Speaker 4: Bomb Dick.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you heard that.
Speaker 4: He made me a pizza last week and then gave
Speaker 4: me a full body massage and then ate me out.
Speaker 4: Why oh that's what ate you out?
Speaker 1: And you mean tossed your salad.
Speaker 4: After after making it, after he made me food too.
Speaker 1: He coked in Asia, as I know.
Speaker 4: Absolutely, He's like, oh.
Speaker 1: Now I'm ready for the entrel.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, pizza was the app and your ass was the.
Speaker 1: Desserts.
Speaker 4: And I was layered in that that coconut whatever, lubricant whatever,
Speaker 4: the body massage oil. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: I got a little massage too.
Speaker 2: That's cute. It is.
Speaker 4: It was really cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Andrew, y'all got all types of yeast infections.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the pillow got coconut oil in it. Stew.
Speaker 4: But anyway, he has mister B ANDB and he doesn't.
Speaker 4: He was like, I have this like lesbian couple that
Speaker 4: requested to stay with me, Sydney and Adrian. Yeah, Sydney
Speaker 4: and Adrian in fact. And and so he was like,
Speaker 4: I'm really scared about him. I'm like, I don't see
Speaker 4: the connection here. And so he explains it like, I
Speaker 4: just think that women are disgusting. They're gonna expect me
Speaker 4: to buy them tampons and everything. I'm like, these are
Speaker 4: grown US women that are probably.
Speaker 1: Have gone through menopause. Yeah, it was too Hillary Clintons.
Speaker 1: They just have a pantsuits. That's it. That's all they need.
Speaker 4: I am just absolutely dumbfounded. And then he's just they're disgusting.
Speaker 1: He's ignorant and disgusting. This guy, this is the salad guy.
Speaker 4: This is the salad guy. Yes, and so he said,
Speaker 4: I just don't want them to throw the like bloody
Speaker 4: tampon in my trash can, because that's discussing. I'm like,
Speaker 4: you put your dick, a raw penis into a fucking
Speaker 4: man's butthole.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about yourself?
Speaker 4: I'm talking about my.
Speaker 2: So you had to protected sex, okay, we rat dog.
Speaker 1: Well he was like, well, there's no way his dick
Speaker 1: is dirty. He does my butt. Yeah, mister pizza hut himself.
Speaker 1: Twass salad. He did you a little olive garden.
Speaker 4: When you're here, you're so trill.
Speaker 2: They got the best salad though. I could just eat
Speaker 2: the breadsticks and the salad.
Speaker 1: That you eat it.
Speaker 2: That's it, that's it. Not Andrews.
Speaker 1: Andrews type. You have got no house. Wow. So rude.
Speaker 4: But then then a few days ago there was someone else,
Speaker 4: a freaking body builder, so small diggers, small one but
Speaker 4: like huge, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, attractive.
Speaker 4: Looks like your type.
Speaker 1: Is too thick.
Speaker 4: I feel like I know him. He's a middle school
Speaker 4: English teacher.
Speaker 1: I thought you would say he's a middle schooler. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say he is.
Speaker 4: He's a middle schooler.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, he's he's cute, he's he's.
Speaker 4: A little basic, but you know het.
Speaker 1: Just look at the I mean, look at that Abercromi
Speaker 1: and Fit shirt he got on.
Speaker 2: So he is basic.
Speaker 1: He probably has nobody brown in his life. I just
Speaker 1: feel like when his is he tall, he doesn't.
Speaker 4: Look like no. I was fully expecting him to be
Speaker 4: like five seven, but he was like five eleven.
Speaker 1: He was tall, that's a good little gotcha a good
Speaker 1: little chip. Please.
Speaker 2: Yes, he's got a great body, he's corny, is terrible.
Speaker 2: Well it happens. You know, it's very hard to just
Speaker 2: be perfect, it really is. I don't need you to
Speaker 2: be perfect. I don't need you to be perfect. I
Speaker 2: just need you to have some type of technique. I
Speaker 2: need you to know kind of what you're doing right
Speaker 2: Like if I'm if I'm coming in hot with.
Speaker 1: Uh address that was very impressive, if I'm hitting you
Speaker 1: with that, I need you to hit me with some
Speaker 1: Like but what's your technique?
Speaker 2: Marie?
Speaker 4: I was like, wow, what's So?
Speaker 2: When I was at my house before this beautiful frenchman
Speaker 2: ruined my trip, I was like, oh, you look at
Speaker 2: you give good massages because he was like stroking my
Speaker 2: leg and I was like, you look at you give
Speaker 2: a good massage.
Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, I.
Speaker 2: Could show you.
Speaker 1: And I was like okay, And we're talking and talking
Speaker 1: and he's like, do you want this massage or not?
Speaker 1: Do you have body oil?
Speaker 2: Obviously the house that I was saying at head body oil,
Speaker 2: thank you so much. So we go into the bedroom
Speaker 2: and he's like, I'm should.
Speaker 1: I take off my shorts. I can't have a massage
Speaker 1: with these shorts.
Speaker 2: Ones. I took them off, but I also had on
Speaker 2: a body suit and he was like, you should probably
Speaker 2: take that off too.
Speaker 1: He's like, cause the strap's.
Speaker 2: Gonna be in the way, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: you're right right. So I'm like, I'm like, well, don't
Speaker 2: look at me.
Speaker 1: Why I take it off? Turn around, Oh you're trying to.
Speaker 2: Be coin now, bitch. You're like, yeah, come on through, nigga,
Speaker 2: And now you're like actually. But that situation was different
Speaker 2: because he had messaged. We had been talking for a
Speaker 2: couple of days, and he was like, what are you
Speaker 2: doing today? And I was like, oh, I just woke up.
Speaker 1: I'm hungry. And he was like, I could come to
Speaker 1: you and we can get some food in your neighborhood.
Speaker 1: I'm on my scooter. So he came over.
Speaker 2: We ate, he came to my house, we met at
Speaker 2: a thing, We ate, came back but naked, got a massage, and.
Speaker 1: Then we had sex.
Speaker 2: But the sex was terrible.
Speaker 1: But I was also like, but what is your technique?
Speaker 1: My technique is if it's not working for me, I
Speaker 1: just leave.
Speaker 2: My techniq is also if you offer me poppers. Also,
Speaker 2: you got a car and you're picking me up, then
Speaker 2: I'm coming over. My technique is that, like you know,
Speaker 2: hot pocket. Okay, your body, your poty is a vessel.
Speaker 2: Your body is a vessel to be used used properly.
Speaker 1: You know, I said last night, I had no makeup
Speaker 1: on and I just showed up like I had looked
Speaker 1: all day. So that was last night.
Speaker 4: But do you have a picture of him? That guy?
Speaker 1: I have a picture of him, Marie.
Speaker 2: See this is what I'm talking about. When you went
Speaker 2: on your little like excursions. I just wanted screenshots, that's
Speaker 2: all I Okay, I have screenshots of this particular Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm excited. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Hold on, wait.
Speaker 2: Wait, obsessed, Okay, stressed out.
Speaker 1: Look look at junior architect. Oh you showed me that.
Speaker 2: Though we were we were talking, we were like, oh,
Speaker 2: he's not he's not bad looking. But I was like,
Speaker 2: I didn't like the pictures that he was taking. No,
Speaker 2: I don't these these pictures of a man in mirror do?
Speaker 1: I hate that. That's why I'm starting in the mirror.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's cut. There's nothing that I would be like
Speaker 4: blown away that would be like, oh, he's basic. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 4: mirror picture pictures back.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of selfies. It was only in a
Speaker 1: mirror and I was like that's what that's why.
Speaker 4: I was like, eh, friends, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was like, he ain't got no friends. Social skills anyway. Uh.
Speaker 2: He was definitely lying about being a junior architect. And
Speaker 2: then at one point he pulled up a blueprint, a
Speaker 2: random blueprint there was he did that.
Speaker 1: That's Geeddy images. I was like, what is that and
Speaker 1: he was like, this is my job and I was like,
Speaker 1: but what is it? What is it? I was like,
Speaker 1: but what is it? He was like it's a school
Speaker 1: and I was like, I was like, he just got
Speaker 1: out of jail. I was like, there's no way this man.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then he was like what are you doing tomorrow?
Speaker 2: And I was like I don't know. I'm gonna be
Speaker 2: busy though.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I said to him what are you doing? And he
Speaker 1: was like seeing you and I was like, he.
Speaker 2: Said what do you haven? I was like, stuff, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be busy. He was like like what you got?
Speaker 2: And I was like stuff and he was like so
Speaker 2: he was.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pull up.
Speaker 2: He's inside of you for like what five minutes.
Speaker 1: It was very brief. It was very brief because as it.
Speaker 2: Was happening, I was like, you know what, like this
Speaker 2: is not like I have to go home after this.
Speaker 2: When it was in Amsterdam, and when it was in London,
Speaker 2: and when it was in France, it was like, oh,
Speaker 2: whatever the matter, but here I will potentially bump into
Speaker 2: that dude at Trader Jokes.
Speaker 1: Yeah potentially yeah, and that's what I don't like.
Speaker 2: And and he saw your Instagram. Yeah yeah, he's can
Speaker 2: write on your ship, you can write on your wall.
Speaker 1: He could, but I can also block him. Block him? Now,
Speaker 1: I should block him. You should block him.
Speaker 4: I was confused. How did because or you should.
Speaker 1: Him to the first and then block it? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 4: How did you get penetrated by him without kissing him?
Speaker 2: Ill Andrew, we do not say penetrate here, penetration. I
Speaker 2: say that because this is what happened. He was like,
Speaker 2: let me see your tongue, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: showed him. I was like, like, I showed him my
Speaker 2: tongue and he was like, are you serious right now?
Speaker 2: And I was like, what do you mean? This is
Speaker 2: my tongue? And he was like he's like pointing to
Speaker 2: his dick.
Speaker 1: He's trying to do sign language.
Speaker 2: Hey, Ken, he's trying to get a blowjob with sign language.
Speaker 2: Ill bro disgusting, the world's greatest stuff. I was like,
Speaker 2: I didn't come over here to suck your dick, flat out,
Speaker 2: That's what I said.
Speaker 1: I did not come over here to suck your dick.
Speaker 1: And he was like what an?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I did not come here. And
Speaker 2: I was holding his dick when I said this, so
Speaker 2: I squeezed it.
Speaker 1: I did not come here to suck your dick.
Speaker 2: And he was like, okay, so what you're trying to do?
Speaker 2: And I was like, how about I sit on your
Speaker 2: face instead? Girl?
Speaker 1: He was and he was so confused. He was like
Speaker 1: he was like, how is that the same thing?
Speaker 2: And I was like, it's literally the same exact thing,
Speaker 2: the same thing, and he was like oh.
Speaker 1: And then I was like do you have condoms? That's
Speaker 1: how we got inside me.
Speaker 2: I asked if he had condoms.
Speaker 1: I was like, what, I'm here, so we's see what happens.
Speaker 2: So what what? What size was it? Uh?
Speaker 1: He pulled out a magnum condom. Oh, they all pull
Speaker 1: out pull out.
Speaker 2: A little extra medium magnum condom and this is me
Speaker 2: watching him put it on.
Speaker 1: Just just staring right at for you, that gift of
Speaker 1: the cat, like filing its nails exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was filing my nailsis I was like, hmmm,
Speaker 2: is that what we're doing? Is that who you think
Speaker 2: you are? So you think you can dance anyway? So
Speaker 2: we start having sex. It was just the whole thing
Speaker 2: was was bad. And he didn't kiss you. That's kiss yeah,
Speaker 2: but he didn't kiss you.
Speaker 1: That's weird. He didn't even try to go in it is.
Speaker 2: It is weird. But also he probably was intimidating.
Speaker 1: He was like, He's like, she just yelled that she's
Speaker 1: not gonna suck my dick. Why would she kiss me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: but why are you asking me to suck your dick
Speaker 1: if you haven't even kissed me? What are we talking
Speaker 1: about here? Listener, listeners, listeners, it's called for play kissing
Speaker 1: sis When I tell you there was none because it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, well, what's on the table here? Well
Speaker 1: let's discuss what's happening here?
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, was there a playlist? Is there any music?
Speaker 1: Any candles? The movie was playing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I don't even know, so.
Speaker 2: He hits you with a tired netflix and chill background music.
Speaker 2: It wasn't even music, it was like an Italian film playing.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I almost forgot to tell you guys this.
Speaker 2: So when I was in Ampstam, yeah, I matched with
Speaker 2: this dude.
Speaker 1: Some'm like old dude.
Speaker 2: He was like forty four, right, and he's like the
Speaker 2: first thing he says to me is uh. He was like, hey,
Speaker 2: you ever pegg you ever? You ever fuck a man?
Speaker 2: And I was like no, but I want to. And
Speaker 2: he was like, oh well. He was like, tonight's your night.
Speaker 1: And I was like, man, I'm peg mad.
Speaker 2: He's forty four. This Australian man freaking messy. A disaster
Speaker 2: because he started sending me videos. He was like, you
Speaker 2: want me to send you some videos and stuff that
Speaker 2: I do and I.
Speaker 4: Was like, oh this I do, Yes, I do send
Speaker 4: me videos and how were they?
Speaker 1: They were nasty? I'm blowing away.
Speaker 2: So he's talking to me and he's like so he's
Speaker 2: like well. He was like I can send a car.
Speaker 1: To come get you. I was like okay. He was
Speaker 1: like what before you come over, let's discuss what's on
Speaker 1: the table. He was like kissing.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I'm not kissing you, grous, I'm
Speaker 2: just coming to peg you and then I'm leaving.
Speaker 1: That's all that I want to say. You gotta do
Speaker 1: four play before you peg. No, I need such.
Speaker 2: An asshole like he was like, you do drugs. You
Speaker 2: need some drugs, like Cocaine'm on cocaine right now.
Speaker 4: I was like poppers.
Speaker 2: Guy was after, wait, will you do poppers in the States? Now?
Speaker 1: Will I do States poppers? Domestic popper? Not I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to purchase poppers, but if poppers are
Speaker 1: available in the home, then I'll.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Joe Kimboosters, Bow and Yang, everybody whoever
Speaker 2: got the poppers.
Speaker 1: Let's go.
Speaker 2: Pull up, pull up anyway, this this guy and I
Speaker 2: did not.
Speaker 1: I didn't I never met him. But I was fully
Speaker 1: prepared to peg this dude. And then he was like okay.
Speaker 1: So he was like, I want to be able to
Speaker 1: kiss you on the mouth, open, like with tongue. And
Speaker 1: I was like, you're not gonna get me. He was like,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna peg me and then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have sex with you. And I was like, no, no.
Speaker 2: You know, you just lost one. You lost one right,
Speaker 2: So that is you just lost one. I was fully
Speaker 2: prepared to peg this man though you might win some,
Speaker 2: but you just lost one. Because I was like, it's
Speaker 2: gonna be bad. But I was like, at least I'm
Speaker 2: in Amsterdam and I'm getting in work for when I
Speaker 2: when the picking matters. Friends, these the confidence, the stories,
Speaker 2: this has been, Yeah, out of control.
Speaker 1: I know I should have done better.
Speaker 2: No, I did great. I think you did great. I
Speaker 2: think you know your next go round you're gonna level up.
Speaker 2: You know you're gonna put some more stank on it.
Speaker 2: But I'm proud of everything that you've accomplished in three weeks.
Speaker 2: The four people, I mean I knew you for Like.
Speaker 4: The TV spirt was really honorable, really honorable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I watched it just kind of like sligh,
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Are you're lying your guess? It was
Speaker 1: on the windows, No, it was everywhere.
Speaker 2: He sent me a text a message after I left
Speaker 2: and was like, next time, you got to give up
Speaker 2: your mattress because it was like a big Did you
Speaker 2: see the.
Speaker 1: Size of this table? That's how big the west spot was.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Marie, I don't believe you re peede
Speaker 2: on that man. I guess I peed on okay, because
Speaker 2: after I was done, I was like, well, I have
Speaker 2: to go pee and he was like still yeah. I
Speaker 2: was like, that's not what I'm squirting is. It's not
Speaker 2: white pee. You definitely peed.
Speaker 1: Sure, maybe I did this, but I had to pee
Speaker 1: when I was done. So it's a lot of pee.
Speaker 2: You drank water and you did poppers.
Speaker 1: Poppers make you pee, Andrew are poppers expert. I'm not
Speaker 1: a poppers expert, but oh, you haven't done poppers.
Speaker 4: I've done poppers like a few times. I'm not I'm
Speaker 4: not on the bandwagon though.
Speaker 1: I'm out of Let me introduce you to a fine name.
Speaker 2: I mean, wow, this is the time of my life
Speaker 2: where I'm like, fuck, man, this is this is a
Speaker 2: bad time to be sober. You want to do some
Speaker 2: poppers right now? Oh I can't. I'm coming up on
Speaker 2: two years. If I was thirty days in, I would
Speaker 2: do some poppers if I'd be like a very laughs,
Speaker 2: it's just been thirty days. Well, I was like, well,
Speaker 2: what is poppers? It's like keyboard cleaner or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah. If they saw that, like yeah, like the hardware.
Speaker 1: Yeah, typically I could do poppers.
Speaker 2: This is not a drug drug.
Speaker 1: It's like huffing paint. Get you to me more on SIS.
Speaker 2: Listeners, If I'm a sober person, can.
Speaker 1: I do poppers?
Speaker 2: Answer is no, friend, are you sure you got to
Speaker 2: be sober all the way through?
Speaker 1: No poppers for you? What do you want to do
Speaker 1: poppers and bang somebody?
Speaker 2: I don't know?
Speaker 1: You know, you know I'm in an.
Speaker 2: Open relationship, so free agent, open relationship. Can you tell
Speaker 2: the listeners what you're talking about?
Speaker 1: SIS?
Speaker 2: I mean, I've dropped this bomb like ten minutes before
Speaker 2: the pie is over. But yeah, I'm in an open relationship.
Speaker 2: Just in case you see Adrian out there, don't text me,
Speaker 2: don't don't be sending you no pictures, know nothing I
Speaker 2: don't want, don't don't do it fully.
Speaker 1: And you know that was gonna happen. People are gonna
Speaker 1: be like, oh that was like yeah, hey, that was
Speaker 1: like City's girlfriend.
Speaker 2: I'm famous. Yeah, I'm famous. I got a blue check.
Speaker 2: New York is small. Somebody's gonna text me something and
Speaker 2: I was gonna be ready to fight. So yeah, she's uh,
Speaker 2: she's out here. She's gonna have a hot girl summer.
Speaker 1: I'm allowing it.
Speaker 2: Hot girl, I'm allowing it. Let Adrian be free and fun.
Speaker 2: Are you gonna have a hot girl summer? What's happening
Speaker 2: since you're trying to do these.
Speaker 1: Poppers or not?
Speaker 2: No, I'm all set. I'm just gonna be real boring
Speaker 2: like I have been, you know, being consistent.
Speaker 1: Wow, well, friend, listen, I am on. I bought.
Speaker 2: I didn't bring any gifts for anybody back from Europe,
Speaker 2: but I did bring Slutty Reazy back. So Slutty Reasy
Speaker 2: is here. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The host centennial has started with six months left for
Speaker 1: the end of the year. Yeah, but we out here. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's worth it. Hot girl summer act up, smacked up
Speaker 1: all summer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're usually so private about all your sex stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot. All of it is on here and
Speaker 1: I'm going to uh to this episode.
Speaker 2: We're deaf not editing any of this.
Speaker 1: Take it all out. We cannot.
Speaker 2: Every time I said that word dick sensor say put
Speaker 2: like a I saw his women. Yeah, that's our brand
Speaker 2: to not take anything out of the pod. Sydney. Please,
Speaker 2: we we barely do any Edits hardly makes my I
Speaker 2: mean I literally never asked for an edit, but I
Speaker 2: feel like Sydney, you asked for one, would.
Speaker 4: I ask you to go about someone at work.
Speaker 2: I said something mean about somebody did and my old joke,
Speaker 2: and now thinking about it, it's so stupid.
Speaker 1: It's wait.
Speaker 2: I have a couple of shout outs, because that's what
Speaker 2: we're going to do. I had Kathleen firm Organ send
Speaker 2: me some bisc off to Oh GRASSI ass for you. Kathleen,
Speaker 2: You're amazing. She wrote a little note to the bisco
Speaker 2: Off Queen Sydney. Don't let Marie shame you. Bisc Off
Speaker 2: is fucking delish. Thank you and Marie for making me
Speaker 2: laugh so much, especially on the hard days. X ex
Speaker 2: Kathleen from Oregon. Oh you're so lean. Shout out to you, Kathleen,
Speaker 2: You're so so sweet. We also have messages in ours
Speaker 2: as well on the unofficial expert page.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys for.
Speaker 2: Actually, you know, listening to us and taking directions quite well.
Speaker 1: Honestly, you know, you guys are the real I was
Speaker 1: really surprised.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, look at them sending us a stories. Wait,
Speaker 2: somebody had an uber story that was really funny. Let
Speaker 2: me try to find that. Uh it was cut up.
Speaker 2: I didn't have a queue up bout up up I wasn't.
Speaker 2: I wasn't even thinking because I was just like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to do this, And then I'm like,
Speaker 2: actually I should because I did ask them. Oh, somebody
Speaker 2: wrote from London. I think her name is Sasha. Sasha. Hey, girls,
Speaker 2: I hope you're doing both. No, I hope you're both
Speaker 2: shining and doing well. Just letting you know that I'm
Speaker 2: listening from my kitchen in Sunny London.
Speaker 1: Was okay, sins. If you're in Sunny London, go down
Speaker 1: to Short Ditch and the hotel that I, uh, the
Speaker 1: bartender works at is called Actually I don't remember the
Speaker 1: name of the hotel. Fuck fuck can you find out? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find out right now.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me continue. Work's been a madness. Work has
Speaker 2: been madness today. So you two are bringing me joy
Speaker 2: whilst I cook dinner. You're both so witty and razor sharp.
Speaker 2: Keep it up, ladies, you're winning Alexandra X so sorry
Speaker 2: Alexandra from London.
Speaker 1: Thank you, baby, baby, You're fantastic.
Speaker 2: Oh and then we had Tiara Sinda's a bad Uber experience.
Speaker 2: I guess it's from the last episode that we just
Speaker 2: put up last summer.
Speaker 1: My mother and I.
Speaker 2: I went to go to the met in NYC. We
Speaker 2: caught an Uber back to Penn station and this guy
Speaker 2: was the worst driver I've ever had. When we got
Speaker 2: to the station, we tried to get out, and he
Speaker 2: yelled at us to stay in the car because he
Speaker 2: wanted to drop us around the corner. He then tries
Speaker 2: to take off and the taxi lane in front of
Speaker 2: the station and almost hits another taxi. The taximan starts yelling,
Speaker 2: and our Uber keeps moving forward and crashes into the taxi.
Speaker 2: This is battle of Uber versus taxi. That's what's really happening.
Speaker 2: Then the taximan gets out of the car, comes over
Speaker 2: and opens the backseat door and starts screaming at us,
Speaker 2: what ladies. My mother and I were shook and I
Speaker 2: had to jump out and run away because of a
Speaker 2: full brawl I was about to happen. The police ran over,
Speaker 2: and eventually the police ran over eventually, but my mom
Speaker 2: and I was out of there. I wonder if they paid.
Speaker 1: It's an Uber. They of course they paid, yeah, but
Speaker 1: I would have just wrote like, oh my god, here's
Speaker 1: my experience. And Uber was gonna give them five dollars,
Speaker 1: you know, that's what Uber does. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: real people wait, hold on.
Speaker 2: I got into Uber like three weeks three days ago,
Speaker 2: and my uber got in an accident.
Speaker 1: I took pictures in everything. Boo, I got out in
Speaker 1: the front.
Speaker 2: I was taking photos. Send it to Uber. They sent
Speaker 2: me all my money back.
Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like it sounds like they ran out
Speaker 1: and jumped on the Low Island railroad. So I don't
Speaker 1: think that they took pictures of the uber crash.
Speaker 2: There's other stuff, but I can't find it right now.
Speaker 2: You know, there's you know, I love that you guys
Speaker 2: are sending us stuff. We feel way more official. Just
Speaker 2: keep sending this. If you guys have more than bisc off,
Speaker 2: send that as well. You got bathing suits, bathing suits,
Speaker 2: y'all got bathing suits, you got dick.
Speaker 1: Listen, well, I wear a size two and bathing suits,
Speaker 1: and I wear a size twelve and Dicks, and I'll
Speaker 1: take whatever she's having.
Speaker 4: Some of the listeners are real, real cute, and the
Speaker 4: dm s too.
Speaker 1: D this is what they're talking about. He producer Andrew
Speaker 1: love you on the podcast in the background.
Speaker 4: In the background, Well, I mean it, I know this
Speaker 4: is a big deal.
Speaker 2: Marie talking about her excursions, and then Andrew on a
Speaker 2: microphone like, we're really.
Speaker 1: Just elevating as a group. This feels like a Patreon episode. Honestly,
Speaker 1: surely this is.
Speaker 2: So free and it's stupid. It should have been on Patreon.
Speaker 1: It's just so freak you know what Marie said.
Speaker 2: Marie was like, oh no, no, no, I have to
Speaker 2: I have to tell all of this on the on
Speaker 2: the pot and I was like, you know what's funny.
Speaker 2: We got some more stories to put on the Patreon.
Speaker 2: Anal in the ace? We got that anal in the
Speaker 2: a a in the ace. Yeah, Marie, you got another
Speaker 2: story that you didn't put on here. Oh there, gonna
Speaker 2: put me on.
Speaker 1: Bless you guy. Slide on over to the Patreon if
Speaker 1: you want to hear an egg.
Speaker 2: You see how I do?
Speaker 1: Si? You see how baby Patreon? It's something wrong with you, dude,
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: Yes. Sidney was like, save all your stories for the
Speaker 2: Patreon and I was like, Sis, it's too many people
Speaker 2: listening that know that I'm gone and want to know
Speaker 2: what's happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did you pray her is a movement? Since it's
Speaker 1: a mood?
Speaker 4: Did you uh?
Speaker 2: Did you miss us.
Speaker 1: The podcast?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: Us, like all your friends, your family. Yeah, you know
Speaker 2: some of the days, some of the nights when I
Speaker 2: was out and I was like, I gotta be out
Speaker 2: here by myself. I got to be social out here
Speaker 2: in New Street. I was, I'm not, I'm not built
Speaker 2: to travel by myself. You're not.
Speaker 1: I'm not built to be like traveling by myself.
Speaker 2: If I'm meeting people who live in different cities, yes,
Speaker 2: but actually being on a road alone, I.
Speaker 1: Was like, this sucks.
Speaker 4: You have companions, though, you had some companions out there,
Speaker 4: have three.
Speaker 1: Companions and one of them was trash.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean one of them was nice, but he's trashed too. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I just every time I saw you pose something, I
Speaker 2: was like, damn, Marie needs me.
Speaker 1: Because I was like, I was like, I know she
Speaker 1: has looks who can take pictures of her? Honestly, And
Speaker 1: that was like the most upsetting part about the trip
Speaker 1: is like, who's gonna take all these feos?
Speaker 4: You had some really cute photos, yeah that I took.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I took like the dude from last night
Speaker 1: in a mirror, which is fine.
Speaker 2: You're an influencer and that's like our brand to have
Speaker 2: a mirror pick.
Speaker 1: It was it was crazy, but I I left my
Speaker 1: my Airbnb like twenty days earlier, twenty one days early,
Speaker 1: and the chick was not trying to give me my
Speaker 1: money back.
Speaker 4: What so I had.
Speaker 1: It was this whole thing where my grandma's drama.
Speaker 2: And my yeah, and my grandfather had died the day
Speaker 2: before I left formever, I know, and so Airbnb was like, well,
Speaker 2: if there's an extenuating sick circumstance, then you'll get you
Speaker 2: We'll get you your money back.
Speaker 1: Somebody died, and I was like, somebody did, actually, somebody did.
Speaker 1: Actually Yeah.
Speaker 2: So the trip was not at all planned because I thought, oh,
Speaker 2: three weeks one place. I made no plans, no arrangements
Speaker 2: to go nowhere else. Marie Adrian just called, hey Adrian,
Speaker 2: you're on the pod.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought you were ringing the doorbell.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Wow do you do you hear that
Speaker 2: open relationship energy? She's like, oh my god, just saw
Speaker 2: you are at the door, goodbye. Wow.
Speaker 1: Did you see how my own girlfriend curved me on
Speaker 1: my fucking podcast?
Speaker 2: Sidney, what you're gonna do? You need to have a
Speaker 2: hot girl summer too. She's in an open relationship. You
Speaker 2: win an open relationship now we'll get you some hopes.
Speaker 1: Sis. No, I don't want to get you some hopes,
Speaker 1: some young mas.
Speaker 2: No, I don't want anybody. I'm all sad. I don't
Speaker 2: have the mental capacity.
Speaker 1: Jan now, Monnee walks in right now, lifts her skirt up.
Speaker 1: What you're doing, Sis, I don't like these hypothetical scenarios.
Speaker 1: Is coming in to do uh see treatment? Dang so No?
Speaker 2: No, she pulls up, You bump into her at the
Speaker 2: Age Hotel, Sis, what's happening?
Speaker 1: I really love that tight Rope song that you had
Speaker 1: back years ago. I really love that song.
Speaker 2: Nothing from the new album, nothing about Hidden Figures, No,
Speaker 2: that song that you released nineteen years ago. I really
Speaker 2: loved your eyebrows in Moonlight.
Speaker 1: Wow, I have no game. I know that I have
Speaker 1: no game.
Speaker 2: People people message me in my dms, and they're very
Speaker 2: respectful and friendly and just. There will be a couple
Speaker 2: of people who will say, like, damn.
Speaker 1: No disrespect, but damn you're fine, no disrespect, but damn
Speaker 1: them titties.
Speaker 2: No, they don't say that, they don't even say that.
Speaker 2: They're very like they. I'm everybody's aunt. It's crazy because
Speaker 2: I'm younger than everyone hilarious.
Speaker 1: People don't say anything disrespectful to me and my dms either,
Speaker 1: So there's that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, Marie, you're fucking ruthless, especially now you know
Speaker 2: I'm a hoe now, so I really have no filter,
Speaker 2: no qualms about shutting down a man in a wheelchair.
Speaker 1: I'm not sitting on.
Speaker 2: You or that h.
Speaker 4: Oh merch.
Speaker 1: On that chair. He was like, everything works.
Speaker 4: Wait, how did you not see that he was in
Speaker 4: a chair which I hadn't deleted?
Speaker 2: Well, he unmatched me, but how did I not see
Speaker 2: he's not One of the pictures was like him laying
Speaker 2: in like a hammock with like how did he get axis?
Speaker 1: He rolled and threw his body at it. He was like.
Speaker 4: The most problematic thing.
Speaker 1: We're all know what is problematic.
Speaker 2: I feel like we'll have more to talk about as
Speaker 2: well going forward. We're going to try to get some
Speaker 2: a less guess coming up.
Speaker 1: It's in the works, merch a list guests coming.
Speaker 4: In the works.
Speaker 2: And the message me on Instagram and was like every
Speaker 2: time you guys say merch, is somebody writing down the
Speaker 2: stuff for merch?
Speaker 4: And I was like I was, but I realized that
Speaker 4: it was like you were saying merch after every single
Speaker 4: thing that I was like, I can't keep up.
Speaker 1: You can't keep up that right there is merch.
Speaker 4: Yeah, merch.
Speaker 2: But someone wrote me they were like, yeah, I think
Speaker 2: you guys saying merch is is the bit is merch. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's merch.
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, if you can make a shirt, this is.
Speaker 1: And then one person wrote me was like, if.
Speaker 2: You guys don't fucking make something that it's merch worthy already,
Speaker 2: I'm so tired of you saying merch.
Speaker 1: Just fucking do it already.
Speaker 2: What would be the one thing that you was like, Yeah,
Speaker 2: put some fire underneath my ass, bitch, Yeah, talk to
Speaker 2: me crazy, I love it.
Speaker 1: Come on, summer fucking moist. Yeah, stick a biscoff in
Speaker 1: my ass. Yeah, thinks goff in my ass's crazy than
Speaker 1: anything said on the water that actually is pizza and salads.
Speaker 1: That's merch. Biscoff in my ass. I'm not wearing that shirt.
Speaker 1: That's not coming to my size. Merch. What did you say, Andrew?
Speaker 2: What was your question?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: No, what what would be the one thing that you
Speaker 4: put on the merch?
Speaker 1: Cotton gaunt? And then the word merch?
Speaker 4: I like, merch? Merch is so funny merch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's what we do an Ariel font
Speaker 1: just big oot live action.
Speaker 4: What do we think?
Speaker 1: So I don't care about these live actions.
Speaker 2: I was like, you, we are so bored. We literally
Speaker 2: cannot rep We can't do new content. We have to
Speaker 2: go back in the vault and make things.
Speaker 1: But there's some new stuff there. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know how I feel about a black Mermaid. I
Speaker 1: feel like they gave.
Speaker 4: Her red locks, and it's like, was that a real photo?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like a like a vintage not mermaid outfits.
Speaker 1: Just I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't I feel like it's gonna look bad. I
Speaker 2: have a lot of thoughts about it. But somebody was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: but Brandy gave us Cinderella and he was like the
Speaker 2: best Cinderella ever. And I was like, oh, I forgot
Speaker 2: uh we had a black Cinderella and whoop he was
Speaker 2: in it and the prince was Asian.
Speaker 1: They gave us everything. They gave us multicultural Cinderella. So
Speaker 1: maybe they'll do it up, That's what I'm saying. Maybe
Speaker 1: they'll do it well. But Melissa McCarthy is Ursula, and
Speaker 1: that I think is problematic.
Speaker 2: Why because because Ursula in my mind is is either
Speaker 2: a big black woman or a big black drag queen.
Speaker 2: Like Ursula is not a funny, goofy white lady, right,
Speaker 2: Luisa McCarthy.
Speaker 1: Is not gonna play. She's not gonna give us drama.
Speaker 1: She's gonna give us kind of like silly.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Also, she can't sing, and she can't sing yeah, mass yeah.
Speaker 2: But I'm not here for black Ursula taking a white
Speaker 2: woman's voice. I'm not here for that.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like a drag queen could have
Speaker 1: done it and would have done it. Yeah, should have
Speaker 1: a drag queen, right, I would have been here for
Speaker 1: a drag queen. It would have been grabbed. The drac
Speaker 1: queen would have nailed it.
Speaker 4: Disney would never do that.
Speaker 1: If Disney would never the one like the one character.
Speaker 4: In live action Beating the Beast was supposed to be
Speaker 4: gay and then people were like, we're not even showing
Speaker 4: it at the theater, we can't even show it to
Speaker 4: the children. Yes, yeah, that little one. I think it
Speaker 4: was like Josh Goad was he gay in the movie.
Speaker 4: I didn't watch it, and it's just read all the headline.
Speaker 2: Are they so complicated? It's a fucking animation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but people like what they like.
Speaker 2: Like when the Hunger Games Books movie came out, people
Speaker 2: were like, Roue is black in the in the book,
Speaker 2: it doesn't say she's black, And it was like she's
Speaker 2: not even a main characteristic Like let this little black
Speaker 2: girl get her little check.
Speaker 1: And they were like, people get super upset about this
Speaker 1: movie stuff.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I saw the New Spider Man and Zendaia Zenda is.
Speaker 2: Mary Jane good character?
Speaker 1: Is this black girl playing? I mean, I don't she's
Speaker 1: taller than Spider Man. I don't make no. I was
Speaker 1: like they could have picked Damn Kirsten dunst Becky, Oh my.
Speaker 4: God, with her up teeth, Oh my god, Hey hey.
Speaker 1: She has character merchant. Well did we learn anything today?
Speaker 2: So much? I'm just like, I'm exhausted from everything that
Speaker 2: you told us, Marie. I'm so glad that you've You're
Speaker 2: like you're turning a new leaf. You're telling us your business.
Speaker 2: You're fucking left and right, no condom.
Speaker 1: Condoms ever, you're talking about your county, wash a math.
Speaker 1: I went soapia bitch, Andrew.
Speaker 2: You could keep telling us your business and you know,
Speaker 2: there's always a chair for you at the podcast.
Speaker 1: If there's nobody sitting in it.
Speaker 4: Of course, this is the first time I've ever sat
Speaker 4: in the chair. It feels so weird.
Speaker 1: Well you know now, but it's still moist from.
Speaker 4: Last week.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, the good thing is is that people were already
Speaker 2: sliding in your dms before. But now it's like y'all
Speaker 2: should just flood that ship or put shady palm trees
Speaker 2: all over his fucking Instagram?
Speaker 1: Can we jack Knight Andrew?
Speaker 2: Please? Can we do that shady palm trees all over
Speaker 2: his ship? And for those of you who have not
Speaker 2: yet done this, and I'm sure it's many of you,
Speaker 2: go ahead and go to check Knight's space.
Speaker 1: He can He just bought a tesla. He just he
Speaker 1: has money.
Speaker 2: He just bought a tesla.
Speaker 1: He bought a tesla. He just he rented a tesla,
Speaker 1: or he bought it. He bought it. Well, that's what
Speaker 1: happens when you make that grownish money, that blackish he's
Speaker 1: making ABC money.
Speaker 2: It's fucking stupid, man. I know I can't wait to
Speaker 2: ride in that tesla. No, no, no, no, I can't
Speaker 2: wait for us to get that kind of money. If
Speaker 2: I had that type of money, then I would we
Speaker 2: still wouldn't buy that car. I wouldn't buy that car
Speaker 2: and buy that car, but I would be even meaner
Speaker 2: to men and meaner to me.
Speaker 1: So I would that be meaner to you, sis be
Speaker 1: meaner to men.
Speaker 2: I would literally you'd be nicer to me in the app,
Speaker 2: I'll be the same level of mean to you, consistent
Speaker 2: level mean slash nights. Would you take me to dinner?
Speaker 1: Says uh? Were we not talking about.
Speaker 2: Us both having money and you're asking me to You know, Sidney,
Speaker 2: you have a job now and I'm unemployed, and you
Speaker 2: have not taken me to dinner with your corporate card.
Speaker 1: So honestly, I don't have one, honestly, And let's.
Speaker 2: Not forget when I was you, when I was a waitress,
Speaker 2: I was like Marie was my girlfriend. Whatever you want
Speaker 2: you want to.
Speaker 1: Ubers, I got you. Let's get food. You want drinks?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I remember on Valentine's Day when you saved me.
Speaker 1: You sent me that uber. I was on a date
Speaker 1: with this dude and he.
Speaker 2: Was, Oh my god, uber all the way from the
Speaker 2: Upper East Side and brought you.
Speaker 1: To my job. I am fucking great.
Speaker 2: A We're I'm so glad we're together here give me
Speaker 2: your hand. I mischief, I.
Speaker 1: Got chips, I got biscough and this a bitch. I
Speaker 1: got bisclough in my hands. I love you all right, bye, guys.
Speaker 2: To make sure you raise, subscribe, review all that shit.
Speaker 1: And don't be ho shaming.
Speaker 2: Okayat pray how and if you get there and you
Speaker 2: feel like you're not gonna come, tell him, I didn't
Speaker 2: come here to suck your dick. Yeah, that's merch merch.
Speaker 2: I didn't come here to suck your dick merch. Can
Speaker 2: that be our second shirt? That's our second shirt.
Speaker 1: The first one is merch merch.
Speaker 2: The second one is I didn't come here to suck
Speaker 2: your dick.
Speaker 1: Can we get stickers? Stickiers?
Speaker 2: I love it? License plates? All right, bye, guys, Thank you,
Speaker 2: Love your terrible faces.
Speaker 1: By friends Forever.
Speaker 3: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 3: Brett Boham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 3: please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 3: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
Speaker 4: Or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 3: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
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