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Speaker 1: What's about your Happy Hour? It's one of your hosts

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Speaker 1: back with Cooper in here and I just left after

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Speaker 1: the final rows and what a while night. It was

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Speaker 1: honestly the craziest finale I honestly have ever seen. There

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Speaker 1: is so much to impact from it, and Michelle needed

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Speaker 1: a little breather. So there's a lot to talk about

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Speaker 1: from tonight's show, and we'll definitely come back to all

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Speaker 1: of that later. But before the show, Michelle and I

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Speaker 1: actually sat down with our girls, Gabby and Rachel, and

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Speaker 1: here is that conversation. Gabby and Rachel, Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: Happy Hour. We're so excited to have you here. And

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Speaker 1: for all of our listeners, I have to preface this

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Speaker 1: with we have the girls before the actual life finale,

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Speaker 1: So this is but do you guys still look like

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Speaker 1: phenomenal Sonny? Thank you? Yeah? This is before as in,

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Speaker 1: just get that champagne flowing. How are you feeling going

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Speaker 1: into this evening? That's a loaded question. Um god, I

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Speaker 1: think who knows? Not? I mean, yeah, not great? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would actually second, I have mixed emotions. Yeah, definitely.

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Speaker 1: I think. Yeah, it's gonna be hard, but hopefully there's

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Speaker 1: some silver lining in the finale for both. Definitely what

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be. Yeah, you're a single woman, get in

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Speaker 1: Rachel's DMS. Yes, you can say that, everybody. We're totally

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Speaker 1: taking applications for the show. We're taking applications for Rachel too,

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Speaker 1: So I'd like to say this is our official campaign

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Speaker 1: for Rachel to be Bachelorette season. Wait, do you want

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Speaker 1: to do this again? No, you wouldn't say no, you

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Speaker 1: were just do it yourself. Yeah, I'm gonna do it

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Speaker 1: again in my DMS. I love this. We can be

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Speaker 1: like the Patty Stayers and be the matchmakers. He'll bet

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Speaker 1: everyone through you, guys, So we'll send you all the matches, okay,

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Speaker 1: and then we can eliminate them one by one as

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Speaker 1: if it was like a real season. Via Instagram for face,

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Speaker 1: solely on your looks and if you don't have an Actually,

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Speaker 1: I want to date someone who doesn't have an Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I dig that. You know someone who's just fifty followers

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Speaker 1: absolutely lives a normal life. No, somebody who doesn't even

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Speaker 1: have Instagram? Yeah right, and take it back to MySpace.

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Speaker 1: They can only have a MySpace and that's it, all right,

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Speaker 1: one of those either, okay, Well, let's just actually start

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Speaker 1: for real here. Cheers to you both for finding the

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Speaker 1: best friendship and for expanding that because I feel like, no,

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Speaker 1: we can finally have our girls sights together, Finally we

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Speaker 1: can finally touch shit all the ship and maybe we'll

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Speaker 1: have you on again tomorrow to talk even more shit. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we could go through days. Yeah, you really like my Stero.

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Speaker 1: It feeds me. It is my human growth hormone makes

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Speaker 1: me strong. Before we get into everything, we really could

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Speaker 1: talk to you guys forever. But before we get into

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Speaker 1: the details and everything, we are going to start off

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Speaker 1: on a fairly positive note because Gabby, Dancing with the

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Speaker 1: Stars you did absolutely wonderful. But you are a girl

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Speaker 1: here in the audience. How was that? Well, first I

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Speaker 1: want to know, like, how was it before you step

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Speaker 1: on stage your first dance? And then Rachel? How was

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Speaker 1: it watching her? Honestly seeing Rachel because she was right

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Speaker 1: next to me when I came out on stage and

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Speaker 1: we were able to like kind of connect and like

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Speaker 1: almost talk to each other. It was like so grounding

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Speaker 1: because I was like, this is real life. That's one

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Speaker 1: of my best friends. I can be myself, Like that's

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Speaker 1: all I need. So I was honestly the best thing

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Speaker 1: I could have asked for. Like, in that moment before

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Speaker 1: kicking my legs off in my face, I was acting

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Speaker 1: like a fairal wild animal. Like some point I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I should probably stop screaming because she's never going to

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Speaker 1: invite me back to It was so much fun because

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Speaker 1: right when she got in her swan in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: she was like twerking, We're just looking at each other

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Speaker 1: and it felt like, how are we back? Right? Yeah? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: It was the best. Have you met Val heard? And

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Speaker 1: I think Jenna. They're both incredible people. I think they're

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Speaker 1: gonna do so amazing this season. She has so much

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Speaker 1: support behind her. And yeah, I mean I see the

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Speaker 1: mirrorball in our future. Well yeah, I say I have

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Speaker 1: a part of hour, Like the mirrorball is going to

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Speaker 1: go in your apartments. We're going to listen on your

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Speaker 1: dating profile. Yeah yeah, she's have to be the profile picture.

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Speaker 1: So I want to ask you, Gabby, how different is

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Speaker 1: filming and doing the show and press prettyc with the

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Speaker 1: stars versus doing the bad short, because I can imagine

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Speaker 1: it's vastly different, so different, Yeah, and our interviews and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to elaborate to like connect to an emotional experience,

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Speaker 1: and they're like, tell me what your song is, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's all you want to talk about, But

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Speaker 1: tell me why it makes you feel the way it does. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: But it's also kind of a relief because I feel like,

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Speaker 1: not I've exhausted my emotions, but I've really worked up

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Speaker 1: that part of me, like the vulnerable emotional side. So

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Speaker 1: now it's nice to just have a break, to have

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Speaker 1: people see me in a different light. But there is

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Speaker 1: still a lot of overlap, like putting yourself out there

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Speaker 1: on that stage is vulnerable. You have to lean in too,

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Speaker 1: like I could make a mistake. You know, I'm not

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Speaker 1: perfect and somebody is seeing this very intimate side of

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Speaker 1: me that you know, I'm like pretty good at but

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Speaker 1: not great. Yeah. Yeah, you were a cheerleader too, right,

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Speaker 1: so like you, how is it different? How is the same,

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Speaker 1: like remembering all the different movements. Yeah. I think by

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Speaker 1: the end of my cheerleading career, I was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I got this. I have the style down, I know

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Speaker 1: how to perform. I'm comfortable with this role. So I

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Speaker 1: thought I would feel that going into dancing, But I'm

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Speaker 1: a novice. You know, I feel like I'm in dance

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Speaker 1: class for the first time. It's like definitely a hit

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Speaker 1: to the ego, but in the best way, because I

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Speaker 1: think we all need reminders that there are other things

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Speaker 1: out there that we can work for and live for.

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Speaker 1: And as adults, you want to do things, try things

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Speaker 1: that are new, because that's like all part of life.

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Speaker 1: So I think having that right in front of my

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Speaker 1: face is a blessing. How are the dogs feeling, God,

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Speaker 1: they're bargain can I yes? Oh, I'm sure they're pretty

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Speaker 1: blisters are yes, I'm never in flats and like I've

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Speaker 1: adopted so many slides in flats because the balls and

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Speaker 1: the balls of the dogs, and yeah, okay, they're not numb.

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Speaker 1: They're not numb, but I wish they were. Let's actually

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Speaker 1: ask let's start on a high note, and then we'll

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Speaker 1: of course get into some of the drama that we

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Speaker 1: will see tonight. But overall, you guys have traveled all

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Speaker 1: over the world. You've obviously been able to do it

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Speaker 1: as best friends, which I am so jealous of. What

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Speaker 1: would you say was the highlight of both of your journeys?

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Speaker 1: I think going off that is honestly just our friendship.

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Speaker 1: And I think now looking back and going through everything

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Speaker 1: airing and watching it back together, our friendship and our

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Speaker 1: support system is that much more important. But I think

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Speaker 1: just going through the journey with another person was the

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Speaker 1: best thing that I could have asked for and really

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Speaker 1: made my experience. Yeah, And I think people like all

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Speaker 1: the time want to say like, oh, you know this

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Speaker 1: is all for the show, where it's all this, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, if you're with us for ten seconds, you

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Speaker 1: can very clearly see like the support we've had since

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Speaker 1: day one. We never wavered. We always put each other first,

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Speaker 1: And I mean, looking at where I am now, I

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Speaker 1: mean like, if I came out of this and truly

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Speaker 1: didn't have Gabby, I don't know how I would have

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Speaker 1: gotten through it. And with you guys as well. I

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Speaker 1: do want to thank you because you both have been

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Speaker 1: there for me and it's amazing that we do have

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Speaker 1: this like support system as bachelorettes. But I think we

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Speaker 1: can all agree that this is kind of the real

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Speaker 1: love story that you're absolutely for sure it's always going

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Speaker 1: to be there. I do too. I really hope you

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Speaker 1: guys know that just even like after this whole experience,

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Speaker 1: it's such a wild one, but you truly are not,

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Speaker 1: I mean, regardless of what happens, you truly are not

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Speaker 1: leaving empty handed whatsoever. And there's just it's so easy

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Speaker 1: to just compare and you know, well, we didn't get

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Speaker 1: to do this or I wanted this out of it,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, but like you truly are not leaving

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Speaker 1: empty handed. And there's so many just different things that

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Speaker 1: you are going to be prepared for. That you are

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Speaker 1: going to keep your eye out for that, you know that.

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Speaker 1: And just like the different like bonds that you make

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Speaker 1: is just something that like people don't actually understand because

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Speaker 1: do you run into people They're like, is it act?

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Speaker 1: Like do you actually like go through these emotions? I

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Speaker 1: think it's acting. That's something like people still don't understand that.

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Speaker 1: It's yes, it's a show, but it's still you saying everything,

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Speaker 1: feeling everything, like trying to fall in love and trying

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Speaker 1: to navigate Yeah, like seventy four thousand different relationships. It's like, yes,

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Speaker 1: it's real. And to add on to what Michelle just

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Speaker 1: said too, is like you aren't leaving empty handed. You'll

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Speaker 1: have I mean, so many opportunities will come from this.

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Speaker 1: Obviously the stars, but like even bigger things, and I

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Speaker 1: know that the seasons probably didn't pan out like you

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Speaker 1: thought and how you expected, and they went wigh off course,

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Speaker 1: and right now, like just speaking from my own experience,

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Speaker 1: I know it probably sucks, but it is the best

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Speaker 1: thing that could have probably ever happened. Yeah, just to

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Speaker 1: have everything pan out in the way it did, it's

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Speaker 1: got to be difficult, but like you will look back

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Speaker 1: in a month or a year and be like, thank

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Speaker 1: god it did though, thank God, Like, yeah, I think

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Speaker 1: there's still a little bit of that even right now.

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Speaker 1: I feel like big things like this you can't process

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Speaker 1: in the moment. You have to reflect on. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: even going back to like Rachel and I like our

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Speaker 1: friendship is going to last forever. It's so strong and

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Speaker 1: you can't always say that about relationships. So I'll always

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Speaker 1: take a best friend over a man. Hell any day,

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Speaker 1: let's make that our quote of the week, everybody, absolutely. Um.

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Speaker 1: I also want to say, before I forget, because I

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Speaker 1: said it last night to Rachel's mom, where was my

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Speaker 1: invite to Disney World, to Disneyland? Yeah? Did you not go?

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Speaker 1: When you were about Staurutte? No, I did not with

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Speaker 1: you guys, he didn't come with us. I know, I

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Speaker 1: didn't get to go because it was COVID. I could

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Speaker 1: go walk around my myself, you know, yea by myself,

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Speaker 1: you know, because I never got that. Yeah, did you

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Speaker 1: get like the back ground find the scenes? Ante is

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Speaker 1: not single? Just to let you know, not single. She's

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Speaker 1: good question. But we thought he was iron Man. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he's taken. He's married to another insect. So sorry, Michelle,

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Speaker 1: you're above that. She's like, I've already been there, done that. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: buzz But so okay, so we're we're getting off and

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Speaker 1: they're gonna kill us. But sorry to switch gears just

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Speaker 1: even more to more of a serious note, just because

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Speaker 1: it is, you know, the things that we have to

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Speaker 1: talk about, right um or that I want to give

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Speaker 1: you guys time for you to talk about as well

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Speaker 1: and address. But you know, coming into this experience, you

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Speaker 1: really you know that there's gonna be a lot, you

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Speaker 1: know that there's gonna be unexpected things. But there's sometimes

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Speaker 1: where you can't think just how unexpected, Like any of

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Speaker 1: the things that have really taken you know, account during

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Speaker 1: the season are not anything that you could even really

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Speaker 1: like sit and think up right, and so one of

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Speaker 1: those things, Gabby with you is just even like the controversy,

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Speaker 1: that controversy that's taken place and that has caught you

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Speaker 1: f Guarden has put you in a position to really,

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Speaker 1: you know, have to process that and to deal with

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Speaker 1: that and acknowledge that, and so you know everything that

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Speaker 1: it was and is going on with Eric and you know,

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Speaker 1: the black face and these issues that are sadly not

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Speaker 1: the first time that Bachelor Nation has dealt with something

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Speaker 1: like this. Yeah, what are your you know, what are

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Speaker 1: your thoughts? What is going through your mind during these

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Speaker 1: moments that this is starting to process. I want to

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Speaker 1: add on to that, like what was going through your

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Speaker 1: mind when that was first brought to light? And then

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Speaker 1: you know, fast forward to now, like how have you

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Speaker 1: been able to process that? And like what are you

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Speaker 1: thinking about all that now? Yeah? I think at first,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was devastated. I had a pit in

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Speaker 1: my stomach. I couldn't really believe it because I think

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Speaker 1: I've worked so hard to educate myself and to become

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Speaker 1: the woman I am today, which comes from wanting to

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Speaker 1: push yourself, wanting to learn, taking that upon yourself to

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Speaker 1: really grow because unfortunately you're not always taught these things

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Speaker 1: when you're growing up. So when it was right in

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Speaker 1: front of my face, when I know myself, hopefully I

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Speaker 1: would never put myself in that position intentionally, like I

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Speaker 1: know who I am, but I am with a man

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Speaker 1: who did this, so then that's a reflection of me.

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Speaker 1: So it took me a long time to process. And

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Speaker 1: you know, Eric did write an apology, which was what

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Speaker 1: he was supposed to do, you know, at the very least.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm still processing. But ultimately I

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Speaker 1: made a decision to be with him, and now it's

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Speaker 1: our problem. So now it's my turn to really teach

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Speaker 1: him and try and enforce how important it is to me,

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Speaker 1: and really try and help him learn from the root

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Speaker 1: of why this is an issue. Not like what you

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Speaker 1: did was bad, but let's go back to where it

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Speaker 1: came from and how we can learn from it. It's

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Speaker 1: not every position that I would want to be in,

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Speaker 1: but if I have a chance to help someone grow,

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Speaker 1: you know, I almost think like maybe it is meant

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Speaker 1: to be, because you know, social issues, even being a

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Speaker 1: woman is being a minority in some sense. It's it's

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Speaker 1: very different, but we really come into ourselves have to

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Speaker 1: stick up for ourselves kind of understand where that came from.

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Speaker 1: So for me to be able to teach someone else

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Speaker 1: who's willing to listen is the only place I can

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Speaker 1: go from here. That's actually a good point that you

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Speaker 1: bring up that I am curious about, because I was

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Speaker 1: in a very similar situation after coming off of my

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Speaker 1: season with the person I chose, And at that moment

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Speaker 1: in time, I mean, I was kind of like you

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Speaker 1: very taken aback. It's like you have this pit in

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Speaker 1: your stomach and you don't necessarily know where to turn.

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Speaker 1: I like, you was allowing this person and thinking and

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Speaker 1: hoping that I would give them the space and the

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Speaker 1: time and the means and the education to grow and

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Speaker 1: learn and change. You know, That's what I was hearing,

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Speaker 1: And ultimately, like in my situation, that didn't end up

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Speaker 1: being the case. And you know, I learned two and

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Speaker 1: a half years down the road that you know, were

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Speaker 1: the words and actions weren't lining up. And so do

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Speaker 1: you think Eric is in a place where he is

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Speaker 1: genuinely open to changing and growing or is he kind

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Speaker 1: of just at a place where he's saying that now

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Speaker 1: to appease the public eye. Definitely. No, that's a great question.

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Speaker 1: And truthfully, I don't know, because we're not We're still

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Speaker 1: in it, you know, we don't have time to move

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Speaker 1: past it, because it's it all happened so recently. But

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Speaker 1: I do think that he's in a place where he

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Speaker 1: wants to change and wants to grow. And we talk

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Speaker 1: about social issues so much because it's something that I myself,

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Speaker 1: you know, hold important. So he knows, even before all

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Speaker 1: this happened, that I have opinions that I'm going to

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Speaker 1: push him, so he knows, being with me, it comes

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Speaker 1: with the territory. We have to be able to talk

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Speaker 1: about these things. I never knew he was going to

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Speaker 1: be the subject, but I feel like I kind of

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Speaker 1: primed him for this, and I do hope and I

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Speaker 1: think he's in a place in his life where he

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Speaker 1: can really reflect and look back and become better. And

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Speaker 1: it's so hard. It's like, how is our society still

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Speaker 1: dealing with this stuff? But it is. It's still right

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Speaker 1: in front of our nose, and unfortunately this was a

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Speaker 1: huge reminder that it's you know, we have so much

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Speaker 1: work to do, and I hope that he's willing to

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Speaker 1: put in the work and kind of become, you know,

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Speaker 1: an example for his community. Like if people look up

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Speaker 1: to him as being a white man who has experienced privilege,

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Speaker 1: but he admits his wrong and wants to change and grow,

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Speaker 1: maybe he can be kind of a person that other

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Speaker 1: people like him can learn from because they can relate

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Speaker 1: to him. Do you think he's and again, it's still

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Speaker 1: early on you or in the midst of all of this,

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Speaker 1: so only Tim will tell, But do you think he's

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Speaker 1: the type of person that will actually be having those

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Speaker 1: conversations with his friends, with his family, with people in

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Speaker 1: the community. I hope so. And I think even just

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Speaker 1: you know what happened in the discussion around the show

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Speaker 1: and friendships that he's built, He's talked a lot about it,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I think it's most important in this

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Speaker 1: circumstance to not be defensive and be open and willing

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Speaker 1: to hear the other perspective, because you know, that is

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Speaker 1: his position. Our position at this time is just listen

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Speaker 1: and to learn and not to put up a defense.

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Speaker 1: And I feel like he's he's shown that and is

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Speaker 1: taking steps towards that. I think it's just I mean,

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Speaker 1: I do, I really do feel for you, Gabby, just

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Speaker 1: with you know, there's not a lot of time to

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Speaker 1: really realistically get to know somebody right like you you

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Speaker 1: you you feel like you talk about the important things

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Speaker 1: and use your time to talk about and plan for

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Speaker 1: those important things, and then there's other things, you know,

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Speaker 1: that come forward. I think what's just so difficult, especially

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Speaker 1: being a woman of color in my position in a

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Speaker 1: very very white world's call it what it is, white franchise,

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Speaker 1: And I think it's difficult because we're here again, and

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Speaker 1: you know, we we did go through this with Matt season, right,

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Speaker 1: we went through all these other things, and it's really

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Speaker 1: easy to put in the work now because it's what

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Speaker 1: makes you more comfortable, makes you you know, allows you

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Speaker 1: to put your energy and focus in that direction to

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Speaker 1: change that thing, as people are kind of, you know,

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Speaker 1: really putting the pressure on you to change. I think

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Speaker 1: my biggest thing is that what I really want to

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Speaker 1: see from Eric is that when this passes, because it

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Speaker 1: comes in waves and then it disappears. When it passes,

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Speaker 1: will you still find the time to seek out information?

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Speaker 1: And that's my biggest piece is the fact that it

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Speaker 1: is great to bring awareness and it is great to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you have you have all these big events

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Speaker 1: and things happen, but people like me sit back and

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Speaker 1: you know, a month down the road, when it's not

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Speaker 1: the talk and it's not in the tabloid's, are you

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Speaker 1: still setting side time because life's busy right, It's it's

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Speaker 1: easy to make time for it now, because that's what

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Speaker 1: the issue is, that's what the focus is. But I

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Speaker 1: really really hope to see Eric make time for this

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Speaker 1: and for others in his same situation to make time

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Speaker 1: for this, and for you to challenge him and us

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Speaker 1: as the same you know, you really never learning, but

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Speaker 1: to make time to seek out knowledge and to kind

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Speaker 1: of peel back those biases, that privilege, like those layers

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Speaker 1: of all of that. A month down the road when

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Speaker 1: this is not the focus. Yeah, and thank you, because

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to ask your advice and how

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Speaker 1: you feel, because I do still want to learn and

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Speaker 1: kind of be better, and I think with myself just

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Speaker 1: with any free time I have, I want to make

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Speaker 1: myself better in these scenarios and be able to speak

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Speaker 1: from a place of knowledge and confidence because I'm not

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Speaker 1: always going to be able to speak from experience, and

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Speaker 1: I have made it such a big part of my

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Speaker 1: life that naturally, someone who's this close to me as

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Speaker 1: you're you know, other, he would be around it and

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Speaker 1: exposed to it because it is something that I always

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Speaker 1: want to do, that I take pride in. That really

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Speaker 1: is something that yeah, I just want to do better

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Speaker 1: for myself, and naturally you have those conversations with the

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Speaker 1: person who's by your side. So and and honestly I

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Speaker 1: felt the same way. You know, I was talking about

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Speaker 1: it with some other people and they were like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: well it's kind of blown over, and I'm like, that

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Speaker 1: is a problem. You know, that is still a reflection

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Speaker 1: of our society, and it brings us back to the

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Speaker 1: initial kind of offense is that you know, it does

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Speaker 1: blow over so fast, but that that isn't a good thing.

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Speaker 1: That shows us, you know, right, like why we are

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Speaker 1: still in this position today. So thank you, no, and

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Speaker 1: well we'll definitely do more talking as well. And it's

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Speaker 1: just please you very much. Are seem like you have

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Speaker 1: your head, you know, in in the right spot and

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Speaker 1: and yeah, there's a lot going on and we could

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Speaker 1: talk about this piece. I mean, it's a really serious talking,

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Speaker 1: but we are going to continue to move on. Rachel's

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Speaker 1: like take a big drink um. And I do appreciate

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Speaker 1: you being so open because I know that's not that's

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Speaker 1: not easy as well, but you speaking up and yeah,

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Speaker 1: and where you stand and setting that firm um no.

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Speaker 1: And thank you for being honestly so like almost non

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Speaker 1: judgmental and this and being able to teach us and

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Speaker 1: for people who are willing to learn. Yeah, and I wouldn't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: judgmental is not judging, you know, it's just it's sense

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Speaker 1: of urgency. I think it is probably the best way

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Speaker 1: I can put it, is that there needs to be

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Speaker 1: a sense of urgency. You know, it's it change. It

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Speaker 1: takes a long time. Um, but with this, it's just

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Speaker 1: especially coming from like a teaching background, you know, and

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Speaker 1: all of that. And you know, people can say, well

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Speaker 1: that was however many years ago and all those different things,

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Speaker 1: and to kind of even like put it in perspective,

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00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:48,399
Speaker 1: it's like when this event took place, unfortunately, um, you

403
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Speaker 1: know Obama was in office when this took place. You know,

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Speaker 1: I could pluck out a first grader from my school

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Speaker 1: and they would very well know that that's not something

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Speaker 1: you know, and and it just definitely needs to be

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Speaker 1: an understanding and like that knowledge at a really young age.

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Speaker 1: And I do see that, you know and m and

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Speaker 1: just playing off of that, like this shows about love,

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Speaker 1: about ultimately finding a partner who you're gonna get engaged,

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Speaker 1: to get married, to spend your life with. And so

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Speaker 1: I think something that at least I'm sure for all

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Speaker 1: of us have thought about it, and if that's the case,

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Speaker 1: is like, how are we going to raise our kids

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Speaker 1: eventually if that's something that you want down the line,

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Speaker 1: Like you really have to be aligned in your morals

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Speaker 1: and values, and that's something that we've all learned, like

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00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,679
Speaker 1: from past relationships, like you were probably aligned with some

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Speaker 1: of your exes and you probably were not aligned with

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Speaker 1: some of them. And so I think that's what's important,

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Speaker 1: is that now you can have more of those deep

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Speaker 1: conversations projecting forward into the future too, to make sure

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Speaker 1: your entire family is on the same page. And again,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if children is something that you want

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Speaker 1: in the future or not, And if that is, it's

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Speaker 1: just a conversation and this is a part of that conversation. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, but uh yeah, like Michelle said it on

428
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 1: to you, Rachel, Yeah, so all around, just such difficult,

429
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 1: so many large just intense situations. I don't even maybe

430
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: it's like we know we want happy endings, we also

431
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:24,359
Speaker 1: know that that doesn't always happen, and so breakups. I'm

432
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:28,359
Speaker 1: recently going through breakup in the public eye. You know, Rachel,

433
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: you are right in the heart of it. You are

434
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: right in the middle of it. It's not something that

435
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: you expected, you know, especially when you're like I'm doing

436
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,040
Speaker 1: the work. You know, you're the bad story. It's your

437
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:39,760
Speaker 1: turn to find love, and you know, things happen, and

438
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,640
Speaker 1: this is a very difficult thing that you're going through,

439
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: specifically Rachel as well and one Beck and I admire

440
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: and feel for you with what you're going through because

441
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:54,399
Speaker 1: this is absolutely but your strength, I will say, like

442
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: the strength and the poise that you have, and just

443
00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: the fact that you continue to show up and the

444
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 1: fact that you're like still sitting down here to do

445
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: this podcast to talk with us about it, and you

446
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: know you have to go on stage and talk about it,

447
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: like that's not an easy feat. It's like, I'm sure

448
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: you're dreading it. I can imagine I've been in your shoes,

449
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 1: But you are poised. You are still patient and kind

450
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: and willing to kind of get through this hardship in

451
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 1: this moment of your life, and I think after having

452
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: some conversations with you, is like you see the light

453
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel, and I just have

454
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: to commend you for still showing up and being here

455
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: and supporting Gabby and you know, sharing the rest of

456
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: your story in this little chapter of life like it's hard,

457
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: but your strength is so admirable. It really is. I mean,

458
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:51,040
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Thank you obviously, and Michelle again, we

459
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 1: kind of are in the same boat. So it is

460
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: amazing to have you and to be able to bounce

461
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 1: everything off you because this isn't easy and obviously it's

462
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,199
Speaker 1: not the outcome. I mean, Gabby and I have been

463
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 1: doing this for a year straight this week and literally

464
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 1: this week, and to go through what everything we went through,

465
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: I know, it's just crazy because you go through so

466
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,239
Speaker 1: much on the bachelor's side, and then to get in

467
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: this role of being the bachelorette knowing that you know

468
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: we both want commitment. We've said that from day one,

469
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 1: and again I feel like we've never wavered from just

470
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:25,639
Speaker 1: wanting someone who wanted to love us and be with

471
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: us and stand next to us. And that's all we've

472
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 1: ever asked for. And I think there even has been

473
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: a lot of controversy recently with maybe the way the

474
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: show is laid out, and is that still right to

475
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 1: this day? And I think me and Hurt, I mean,

476
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 1: we've talked about it at length. We're women and we

477
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,760
Speaker 1: know what we want, and we came into this process

478
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: knowing that we wanted someone to commit to us and

479
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: to be you know, going through this process and putting

480
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 1: in the work after, and we all know how hard

481
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,199
Speaker 1: that is. After it's the hardest part. And to not

482
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: even be able to get through that, not even halfway

483
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: through the show and already be standing in this spot

484
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 1: I was at our last after the final rose. It's difficult,

485
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,280
Speaker 1: but like you guys all said in the beginning, it's

486
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: just kind of what was supposed to happen, and it

487
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: probably at the end of the day is a blessing

488
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 1: that I know now instead of a year down the road.

489
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,439
Speaker 1: So you bring up such a good point about just

490
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: the commitment. Just I think in society. It's society is

491
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: very materialistic, right right, capitalist absolutely, which is not always

492
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 1: whatever the worst thing. But I really do think people

493
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: fixated on both of you for the word engagement, And

494
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 1: I want to take a minute to point out what

495
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: you just said, because you said commitment, like I want

496
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: somebody who believes in me. I want somebody who's going

497
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,320
Speaker 1: to put in the work after. And so you using

498
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: the words engagement on the show, correct me if I

499
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,959
Speaker 1: was wrong. When you were going through that whole process,

500
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: when you were saying the word engagement, you were literally

501
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: speaking to I want the engagement because I want someone

502
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: who is going to put in the work after, who

503
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: is going to lowly regardless, who is going to be

504
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: loyal and respectful in it, which the audience vast donation

505
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,360
Speaker 1: is like, oh, they just want the ring. No, No,

506
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 1: it's like you have to read between the lines, like

507
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,439
Speaker 1: you truly have not feel like you haven't been chosen.

508
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 1: And when you are saying I want the engagement, it's

509
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 1: because you want someone to verbally commit to you. And

510
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: in today's society, that's an engagement, right, That's what I

511
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: thought or kind of tried to express the whole time.

512
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 1: It's like, I don't just want a ring, It's it's

513
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 1: a symbol of a commitment. And for me, I've I've

514
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,120
Speaker 1: been you know, I've dated all of them and I've

515
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 1: never been in a point in my life where I'm

516
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: ready to stay with all of them. But that's what

517
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: an engagement meant to me. It's like someone who's who's

518
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: done the work in their lives, who's at a place

519
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: in their life where they're ready to commit to someone forever.

520
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: So they do think timing is a lot, and you

521
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: have to work on yourself. You have to you know,

522
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: have everything in place for you to make somebody else

523
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: your priority. So when people are you know, kind of

524
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: the feedback from the audience saying we fixate too much

525
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 1: on an engagement, it's like, I understand if you're only

526
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,920
Speaker 1: thinking about surface level stuff, but if a big picture

527
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: that's why we're here is because we believe in the process,

528
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 1: because there would truly be no stakes if I went

529
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: in thinking like, wow, I'll just get a boyfriend. Like

530
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: if I wanted a boyfriend, then I would have walked

531
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: away with like four or five of them. Yeah, but

532
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: I just want one. And it's not just because like

533
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:35,640
Speaker 1: I am materialistic, or because I want a ring, or

534
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: because I think it's you know, kind of um like

535
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: buzzwords or click bait for the show. It's like that's

536
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: the easiest way to define on you know, what we

537
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 1: committed to, which is being the bachelorettes. It's like the

538
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: most kind of definitive way to explain to everybody else

539
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 1: where I'm at in my life, which is ready to

540
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: be engaged, to be married, and you're ready for that,

541
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: and more so you are you're ready for that, and

542
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: you are looking to see who else is ready for that?

543
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: Right well, that's like the whole going through this entire season,

544
00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: any anyone's season, it's like to weed out who is

545
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: ready and who's not ready, like who is It is

546
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 1: half the battle, yea more than half the battle, right

547
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,960
Speaker 1: we know this. But I think when they see us

548
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: say I want engagement, they're like, oh, well you want

549
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, the Neil Lane ring. And while it's beautiful,

550
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: I'm sitting here like yeah, yeah, yeah, it's amazing. It's beautiful.

551
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,239
Speaker 1: But that's not why me and Gabby are here. We're

552
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: here because we want someone to stand next to us

553
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 1: through these difficult times and for someone to be supportive.

554
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: And if if at the end of the day, Tino

555
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: got down on when he was like, you know, I

556
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: can't give you this ring, but I want to commit

557
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 1: to you for the rest of my life. I want

558
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:47,440
Speaker 1: to be with you. That's all I was looking for.

559
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:49,680
Speaker 1: And I mean, I think also going along with that

560
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: same conversation, looking into watching myself the last week with Avan,

561
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 1: and that is what he was telling me. But at

562
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: the time, I mean, there was so much confusion and

563
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 1: there was so much happening, and I could watch my

564
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,840
Speaker 1: own walls go up, and I could see me thinking

565
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: he was pulling away, and I think there's just so

566
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: many things going I was kind to win up with

567
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 1: him to watching it back because for me, it seems

568
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: like he's like, I am ready to get engaged, but

569
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:14,840
Speaker 1: I want to make sure the timing is right. It's like,

570
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: understand that now looking back, I think there's so many

571
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: things you can watch back and understand. I also think

572
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 1: it was confusing because it's like it was, Yeah, if

573
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 1: timing isn't right, then that means maybe you're not ready,

574
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: like and maybe he didn't know the words to explain himself.

575
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,000
Speaker 1: But I think you have a right to be confused.

576
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: I think also there's so many different layers and it's

577
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: like every like humans, we we behavior, we actively move

578
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: forward based on our experiences. You had a very tough,

579
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 1: um like go of it with you know, you had

580
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 1: these men that were just all of a sudden trying

581
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 1: to you know, switch around or us right, both of

582
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,400
Speaker 1: you guys did or or you know, I'm like backing

583
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: out all of a sudden, So how would you not

584
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: be on the defense, Like even we don't take it

585
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: back to even it wasn't the first person exactly, it's

586
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 1: like that those are part of your experiences. So like

587
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: as somebody who's watching, you know, like when people are

588
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but like I dislike when people are, oh,

589
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: this person's crying too much? Like can we just clarify

590
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,200
Speaker 1: that crying is not a weakness, like if you have anxiety,

591
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: it's my favorite hobby. If seriously, Rachel, like I love

592
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: how you've just you made like a TikTok or something

593
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 1: about like joking and making fun of yourself. But like

594
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: to clarify, crying is not a weakness. Okay, so crying's

595
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: not a weakness. Showing emotions not a weakness. Anxiety depression

596
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 1: is not a weakness. Now, like do you know who

597
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 1: needs to listen to this five second part is somebody's father? Oh? Yes,

598
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,920
Speaker 1: Crying is not a weakness. In fact, I think it's

599
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:50,480
Speaker 1: a strength because you're you're not trying to hide it.

600
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm trying to be my realist self and

601
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry. You're not process through everything, and you

602
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: can't get to like the next step that you should

603
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: be at in a situation or your life if you're

604
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: not like working through all those emotions and feelings exactly.

605
00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's cowardly and I think

606
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 1: it's a weakness when you when you let it stop

607
00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: you from showing up and you've continued to show up,

608
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: So regardless of what emotions you show, you've never failed

609
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 1: to show up. We've had people failed to show up

610
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: at mental Oh, we've had people failed to show up, right, Like,

611
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 1: let's not point to crying as a weakness. That's not

612
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 1: a weakness here, that's just I agree, And I think

613
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: people forget like we we do have multiple relationships at

614
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: this point, like in the game, and they're compartmentalized. So

615
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: one breakup is going to hurt because you're losing someone

616
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: no matter who's on the other side of things, no

617
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: matter how many people you have left. I'm mourning this relationship.

618
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 1: We're like no, because that's how real it is. Yeah,

619
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,680
Speaker 1: and that's what you have to do to be successful,

620
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: I think as the bachelor bachelor at Okay, So, Rachel,

621
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: I want to give the might to you for a

622
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:01,520
Speaker 1: little bit because to night viewers are going to see

623
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 1: a lot and we all know how social media works,

624
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 1: and everything's going to be swirling around and people are

625
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 1: going to make their own assumptions and everything. So I

626
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: want to give you some time to just talk through

627
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: your situation where you're at, like when you were going

628
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 1: through that breakup, where you're at now, like cleared the air.

629
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel like you're leaving here

630
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: with anything left unsaid. Yeah, And I mean I talked

631
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 1: to both Gabby and Michelle so much about this already,

632
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 1: and I just want to obviously start by saying I'm

633
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 1: not perfect. I was not perfect when I left here

634
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,760
Speaker 1: with Tino. I mean we all go through that struggle.

635
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,399
Speaker 1: I think when you leave the show and you have

636
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: those natural just growing pains in a relationship of being

637
00:34:45,920 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: long distance and having to communicate on the phone, and

638
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 1: it's a struggle when you get into any relationship at

639
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: the beginning, especially when your entire relationship is filmed. Now

640
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: you're just in the real world, and exactly so, I'm

641
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,800
Speaker 1: there's so much and I'm not sitting here and saying

642
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: he is completely at fault for the lack of communication

643
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 1: we had in the beginning. It was all just both

644
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: of us. And when I left here, I was so happy,

645
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: I mean beyond happy, and things started to obviously go

646
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 1: a little bit south, and we both needed to work

647
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: on a relationship. And I think what the difference is

648
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:28,439
Speaker 1: with him and I is that I never wavered from

649
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: committing and waking up every day and working towards this

650
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:34,840
Speaker 1: commitment with him, in this life with him, So I

651
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 1: could sit here today with Jesse Palmer and be like,

652
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: I'm engaged and I've worked a whole year to get

653
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: myself to a point to be in this position where

654
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 1: I can finally be happy. And it's just really hard

655
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,279
Speaker 1: when one person can just break so easily at the

656
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:56,320
Speaker 1: first sign of a weakness in the relationship. And I mean,

657
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 1: there's just so many things happening. And I think he

658
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: has his own story, and obviously he has the right

659
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 1: to tell that, but Gabby knows, my family knows. You

660
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,839
Speaker 1: guys know, there was never a point where we were

661
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,600
Speaker 1: broken up. There was never a point where an engagement

662
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 1: was called off. Did we have conversation saying, you know,

663
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 1: we need to focus on dating, we need to like

664
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,960
Speaker 1: really get to the core of this. Yes, was there

665
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 1: a moment or conversations and like that's healthy conversations. You

666
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: guys are being real correct, And that's where I hope

667
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 1: you understand, Rachel. Is the fact or like just anybody watching,

668
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,880
Speaker 1: is the fact that when things are difficult in a

669
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: relationship and you're talking about going back to dating, my

670
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: parents talk about dating, going back to dating all the time, Like,

671
00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,080
Speaker 1: let's make sure you never stopped dating the person you

672
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 1: spend doing it life with, right, And it's so natural

673
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,919
Speaker 1: in this scenario, like everything is so sped up, Like, yes,

674
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 1: you leave engaged, you know you have the ring on

675
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 1: your finger now, but you still have to take that

676
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,760
Speaker 1: time to date and to get to know one another

677
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: and see how your lives mesh and see how you

678
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: can mold into each other's lives in the best way possible.

679
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,719
Speaker 1: So anyone leaving the show is going back and it's

680
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,800
Speaker 1: kind of like you're reverting to that boyfriend girlfriend phase

681
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 1: in some way, because that's you have to every one

682
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: of us did it right. It's not different, and I

683
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 1: think that's maybe I can only just try to get

684
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,759
Speaker 1: on his side and assume that's where confusion was coming from,

685
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 1: because we were struggling, and I don't think there's an excuse.

686
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 1: I'm not making excuses, but I don't want to sit

687
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: here and for everyone to tell me that, like, well,

688
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: you said this and I didn't. I never said I

689
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: was giving a ring back. I never said our engagement

690
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:44,960
Speaker 1: was called off. But he was upset that we were

691
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 1: in a bad place, and instead of sitting there and

692
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 1: doing the work like I did and taking that space

693
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,839
Speaker 1: for myself and seeking help and focusing on this, he

694
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: ran straight to someone that he was apparently not seeing

695
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,720
Speaker 1: but seeing before the job in some capacity before. Yeah,

696
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 1: and that's where the struggle is, and then not only that,

697
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: keeping it from me for weeks. This was around the

698
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 1: time of the premiere, and we're talking mental all. Is

699
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 1: when I when I found out that long he sat

700
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 1: on this information, sat in front of me and told

701
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 1: me I need to do all this work on myself

702
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,359
Speaker 1: for our relationship together, which I agree and he did too.

703
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 1: We're not perfect, but you're sitting on this information that

704
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: you are actively seeking comfort and intimacy with another person

705
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,040
Speaker 1: and then and then trying to turn it on me

706
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: when you finally reveal it to me, which wasn't an

707
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 1: act of courage, and that I need to tell you this.

708
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: It was pulling on a string enough that it finally

709
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: came out, and when it did, it wasn't I needed

710
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: to tell you this. It was I wish I never

711
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: told you this, and please don't tell anyone. And that's right.

712
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 1: I think always like with with relationship, ships and struggle

713
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 1: and conversations and controversy, it's like your character that shines through.

714
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: It wasn't actually about like I'm da the action, but

715
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: like if you were like a good partner and you

716
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 1: wanted to fight for this person, your first instinct wouldn't

717
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:20,080
Speaker 1: have been to run. So that's like his character coming through.

718
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: But also he would apologize, like still up to this point,

719
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 1: you would you know, like if this really happens. Even

720
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 1: watching the breakup, he like never genuinely apologize or checked

721
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: on you how are you doing? Like how can I

722
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:38,960
Speaker 1: support you? It was my me what I'm going to

723
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 1: say because I've dated them in the past, a very

724
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: narcissistic move I think we all have, but like where

725
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 1: it was, he first kind of deflects and tries to

726
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: push it off on you, make you feel guilty of like, oh,

727
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,040
Speaker 1: well I did this because of X y Z, which

728
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: doesn't you're an excuse the behavior whatsoever. But then he

729
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:06,359
Speaker 1: comes back and it's just like, I want to make

730
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: this work. Let's make this work. We can do this.

731
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:09,880
Speaker 1: Do you want to do this? I'm like, that's not

732
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 1: even a fair position to put you When you say no,

733
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: it's that you don't want to work on this when

734
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,640
Speaker 1: it's not actually going to the root of what caused

735
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,640
Speaker 1: this divide exactly exactly. He didn't take any accountability at all.

736
00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: And over and over and over again, he's like, well,

737
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: is this gonna work? Is this gonna work? I'm leaving.

738
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 1: If it's not gonna work, just break up with me, answers,

739
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: because Gabby knows every single time he tells the story,

740
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: something changes, a detail changes. First it's a kiss had

741
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 1: a party, and then it's a kiss in an uber

742
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: on the way to her house where his car is parked,

743
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: Like where is the story connecting? So when you're lying,

744
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,239
Speaker 1: you can't get your story straight. And that's why He's

745
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 1: getting up multiple times and trying to figure this out

746
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 1: and then coming back and putting it on me. Well,

747
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: is this going to work? Because then I'm leaving. Well

748
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: even him, know, You're mean changed like conversation by conversations,

749
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: we're talking to three different men or from yea he

750
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,080
Speaker 1: was a fall and he'd be like, Okay, I could

751
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: be better this. Yeah, yeah, it's like he And I'm

752
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: going to say this because I've been in a very

753
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: similar situation and there were things in my relationship that

754
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: started on The Bachelor that I didn't know about until

755
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,759
Speaker 1: later on, like once the breakup had already happened. But

756
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 1: regardless of if you are taking some space to process

757
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:29,360
Speaker 1: an argument or a fight, there should be no other

758
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: person involved at that point. And he was engaged to you.

759
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,080
Speaker 1: Whether he wants to admit that or not, he wasn't engaged.

760
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 1: Admitted it all right, Yeah, yeah, he said. And I'm

761
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: also preface saying that me and Gabby and all of

762
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 1: us we are girls. Girls, and this woman truly did

763
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,239
Speaker 1: not know. Yeah she is not. I don't you know

764
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: what I mean, but you know the world, and I

765
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 1: do want to say that, yeah exactly. He did tell

766
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: me he said. The moment I kissed her, I told

767
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 1: her I was engaged. And that's where the problem lies

768
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: for me with this excuse of well, you and I

769
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: weren't engaged. Well, why is that the first thing you

770
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: chose to tell her when you were trying to stop

771
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 1: yourself from going further? Yeah? Because you are picking and

772
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:16,360
Speaker 1: knew it. Yeah, when you want to be engaged. Yeah.

773
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: And my main takeaway, like watching this entire conversation unfold,

774
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 1: is I'm thinking, like, what would happen if you had

775
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: stayed together longer? And like there wasn't just an argument

776
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,920
Speaker 1: and miscommunication and you're trying to work through something like

777
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: what would have happened if something really hit the fan

778
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 1: with somebody's health or safety, or like you have children

779
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 1: involved and something goes south. What is he going to

780
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: do in that situation? If he does this at this

781
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 1: moment in time and goes out and kisses somebody when

782
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:50,480
Speaker 1: he's still engaged with you, Yeah, come out. Yeah, It's like,

783
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 1: what would happen if something really went out? How was

784
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,279
Speaker 1: he really? Exactly? And That's all I've ever asked for

785
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: in a partner, especially being in the career I'm in

786
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,240
Speaker 1: where I will be away, and we will have times

787
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:04,520
Speaker 1: where I'm having a fight with you and I'm gone

788
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: for five days. You've already proven within one month, not

789
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: even of our relationship, but you can't be faithful to

790
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 1: me in a fight or in a hard time. And

791
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,279
Speaker 1: there's no excuse for that. And I don't think there's

792
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 1: another side to that. I think, Yabby, you hit it

793
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 1: right on the head when you were talking about just

794
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,279
Speaker 1: I mean, how quickly these characteristics are brought out. It's

795
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 1: so unfortunate Rachel, to be going through this breakup in public.

796
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,479
Speaker 1: It's a lot, it's a lot of pressure. Everything comes

797
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:34,279
Speaker 1: out really fast, faster than you can process it. But

798
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: like your character shows, and I always say that, like

799
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:39,839
Speaker 1: when when shit's hitting, when shit is truly hitting the fan,

800
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,400
Speaker 1: every human goes back to their default. What is that default?

801
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,400
Speaker 1: Is it a person who you know wants to hop

802
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:51,160
Speaker 1: on and try to protect their reputation, you know, through

803
00:43:51,600 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 1: through lies, through yeah, right, But like seriously though, that's

804
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 1: the reason why is like everyones to their default and

805
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: because the public is involved, because it now points to

806
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 1: your reputation, not just your reputation with the person you're

807
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: in a relationship, but the world reputation right a little

808
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:13,799
Speaker 1: more forceful, which people feel like, Yeah, it's just like,

809
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: you know, stay trud, who are who you are? You

810
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 1: you have stay kind, You've stuck to your guns. You

811
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 1: know what's right, you know what's wrong. You can smell

812
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: through the bullshit. And not everyone's going to do that.

813
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: Not everyone's going to be able to read that. There

814
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: might be people who dislike you because they feel like

815
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 1: Tina is telling the truth or whoever is telling the truth.

816
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,480
Speaker 1: But just know that you have people in your corner gap,

817
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 1: but you have people in your corner like you are

818
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: not going to be able to please everybody, but you

819
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: should be able to sleep at night knowing you know

820
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: what happened, you know how it went down. You know,

821
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: you know exactly where everything lies. And it's unfortunate, but

822
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: you can only spend so much energy, you know, trying

823
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 1: to clean up after his mess when he should be

824
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: the one cleaning it up. You know. Yeah, he is

825
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 1: the mess, mess, He's been the mess, he stays. Yeah,

826
00:45:10,719 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: you know what this is giving me vibes of right now?

827
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:18,799
Speaker 1: Have you seen the First Wives Club? Shut up? That

828
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 1: seen the First Wives Club? Oh my god, you guys

829
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 1: don't get mad get everything. Okay, well we're badass movie.

830
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 1: We're all in La. No, now, we're all going to

831
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: be in La first movie. Yes, Michelle officially lives here.

832
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,520
Speaker 1: Now do you live here? You're heading out here? I

833
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: are you moving? Yeah? I have a lease here? No? Yeah,

834
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:48,360
Speaker 1: screw I believe in San Diego. I seriously, that's like

835
00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 1: the first. That's the first, Like wine or tequila. I

836
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 1: prefer tear everything the first open bar movie night. Oh,

837
00:45:56,480 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: every wish to be a fly on the wall the

838
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: first time we all see each other out. Well, I'm

839
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:02,960
Speaker 1: gonna have everyone to take their phones and put them

840
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 1: in a basket. We have no phone books. We could

841
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 1: sell truly stories of overthing. I can't wait for that.

842
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 1: It's going to be We're gonna have to plan this

843
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:20,239
Speaker 1: very movies at six one three, yeah, or do come

844
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: with DMZ and yeah, we calls the paparazzi just so

845
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 1: people get the realty. I tell you what. I was

846
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:35,520
Speaker 1: almost just gonna say the address, but suber but okay,

847
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:39,280
Speaker 1: I need you both to give well, Okay, first off,

848
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 1: this is a shameless plug for you because we need

849
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 1: to keep you on Dance with the Stars. Vote at

850
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: what number Rachel two five two three g A B

851
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 1: B Why why? Um? Obviously your pros a Bachelor happy

852
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,960
Speaker 1: hour right now we have everyone give their rose and thorn.

853
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: So since this season is now thankfully done, I'm sure

854
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: you can really easy what is your rose and what

855
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 1: is your thorn? For both of you? Honestly start with

856
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 1: the thorn and end with the rose because we're ending

857
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: on a happy note today a lot of negativity with

858
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,359
Speaker 1: everybody else. So yeah, you wanna do you want to start? Yeah?

859
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just gonna sum it up, like

860
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: the thorn is the controversy that we're both enduring, and

861
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:25,799
Speaker 1: my rose is Rachel. Yeah, um, I have to say

862
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 1: my thorn is um you say his number, his baddress. Yeah,

863
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: like eggs are welcome. But yes, obviously my roses Gabby

864
00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 1: and I think just our bachelorette's sisterhood because I truly

865
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 1: do appreciate both of you and all the other bachelottes

866
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: who have reached out to us and supported us through

867
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 1: this journey. And now we're on the other side, and

868
00:47:53,160 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: luck to the next one, Good luck to the next one.

869
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: Good friend is we got you? I don't have any

870
00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: more champagne, but I'm going to raise a glass to

871
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 1: the two of you for Oh, thank you. You can't

872
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 1: cheer yeah backwashum, but cheers to doing something no one

873
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: has ever done or seen on this show before. You

874
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:19,000
Speaker 1: guys had a crazy season, but I will say you

875
00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 1: came on on the other end, bigger, better, and only

876
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 1: good things are going to happen from here. Gabby Rachel,

877
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 1: you guys know that we absolutely love you, We adore you,

878
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 1: We are here for you regardless after this. Please take

879
00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: what I said to hearts like. You're not leaving empty handed. Truly,

880
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,399
Speaker 1: you're not leaving empty handed. You guys never wavered from

881
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 1: who you were, who you are your friendship. You never

882
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: let no damn voy get between you, guys, And that's hard,

883
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 1: that's hard in this really like intense public situation. So

884
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 1: I just we love you. We love you guys so much. Hello,

885
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: happy our listeners. It's Machine and Becca back once again.

886
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:05,799
Speaker 1: And even though we already have this week's episode an

887
00:49:05,880 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: interview out with Gabby and Rachel, we wanted to record

888
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 1: this extra part to go over things that happened or

889
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: didn't necessarily happen during after the final Rows last night.

890
00:49:20,640 --> 00:49:22,640
Speaker 1: It was a heavy one. There was a lot to

891
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: take in with both women, but there was also stuff

892
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 1: that we both wished was addressed on the stage that wasn't.

893
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:35,680
Speaker 1: And that is for anyone who doesn't know a little

894
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 1: bit of context here. Eric, who Gabby is now heavily

895
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:43,160
Speaker 1: engaged too, came out a few weeks ago with photos

896
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: in his old year book of him and blackface, and

897
00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,760
Speaker 1: since then he has issued an apology on his Instagram.

898
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,239
Speaker 1: But Michelle and I were really helping. It was addressed

899
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,319
Speaker 1: in last night's episode just because it is such a

900
00:49:56,400 --> 00:50:00,160
Speaker 1: prevalent thing that it's taken place in this country, but

901
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 1: also something that keeps happening within this franchise. And so Michelle,

902
00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:06,440
Speaker 1: I want to give you the mic and give you

903
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:09,960
Speaker 1: some time to give us your thoughts and feelings. I

904
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,239
Speaker 1: feel like your voice needs to be amplified. This is

905
00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:15,360
Speaker 1: a conversation that needs to continue to happen and we

906
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,279
Speaker 1: need to be held accountable. We need to hold people accountable,

907
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,560
Speaker 1: which is why I would love to give you the

908
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 1: mic and to get some things off of your chest

909
00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 1: and talk through this together. Yeah, you know, I I

910
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 1: thank you, and I walking into last night's episode, I

911
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:35,200
Speaker 1: think we knew we knew a lot. We knew, you know,

912
00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,080
Speaker 1: just kind of we had talked to Gabby and Rachel

913
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,600
Speaker 1: about everything that had gotten on, and we knew that

914
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 1: I was kind of going to just be a tough

915
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: episode regardless on without you know, this other racism controversy

916
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 1: on top of it. And I think I know that

917
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,280
Speaker 1: I'm still processing it, but you know, we're sitting side

918
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: by side during this live show, thinking that that this

919
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: is going to be something that's talked about, you know,

920
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: and I come straight from that Jane season which was

921
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 1: all about racial controversy, and you know, the change within

922
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,840
Speaker 1: the franchise that needs to be made and that is

923
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 1: going to be made, and so, you know, I think me,

924
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: even Caitlin sitting there in the audience, as this show

925
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: is like progressing, you know, we're moving through Tino's segment,

926
00:51:24,280 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 1: and then as we get to Gabby segment, I think

927
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,240
Speaker 1: we were very, very shocked as we kind of started

928
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 1: to process and realize that, you know, the show's addressing

929
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 1: the text messages between Eric and this ex girlfriend that

930
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:42,959
Speaker 1: came out, but as it was going on, we were

931
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 1: not addressing the black face. And I don't know if

932
00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:51,440
Speaker 1: I mean for those who are watching that last segment

933
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 1: kind of once we got to Zach's you know, introduction

934
00:51:55,280 --> 00:52:00,200
Speaker 1: as the next Bachelor. You know, I would I use

935
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,920
Speaker 1: myself on the stage, and just because I was so

936
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 1: upset and I was so angry that I felt like

937
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:13,320
Speaker 1: I had put myself in a situation where I felt

938
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: completely silenced, and you know, thinking about you know, the

939
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: pop community at home and all of us were expecting

940
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 1: this franchise to address this and navigate through it. And

941
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,320
Speaker 1: we've been here before. Why are we here again? And

942
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 1: not only why are here we again, but why are

943
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,840
Speaker 1: we making the same mistakes of how we are addressing

944
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:42,960
Speaker 1: it or completely not addressing it? And so I know, Becca,

945
00:52:43,040 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 1: you were also very upset and understood why I was

946
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: no longer on the stage and excuse myself, but I think,

947
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 1: I think with where I'm at is hurt. I'm exhausted.

948
00:53:00,440 --> 00:53:05,200
Speaker 1: I have been with this franchise for the last two

949
00:53:05,280 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 1: years and have really really pushed for different changes to happen,

950
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:21,520
Speaker 1: and for this mistake to be made is just unacceptable.

951
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:27,680
Speaker 1: And it's for me personally, it's there's no reasoning, there's

952
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,959
Speaker 1: no excuse of we didn't have enough time, because that's

953
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 1: that's your statement with how you view this community then,

954
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: or maybe we like it was forgotten or it was

955
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 1: not just like nobody crossed nobody's mind, or it was

956
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 1: intentionally you know, pushed off. Whatever the reason is for me,

957
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:49,439
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, because you're still feeling the exact same way.

958
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 1: You are still completely not acknowledging this entire community of people.

959
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: And I felt like I was hurt just because it's like, why,

960
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 1: why wouldn't we talk about this? We talked about it

961
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: on Matt's season. Was it because it was a black Bachelor?

962
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: Is it any less important because you know Gabby or

963
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: Eric Arno black or a person of color? You know?

964
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: It's just like I'm still processing. But like I the

965
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 1: more I talk about it, I just continue to get

966
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: more and more angry. And I want to feel like

967
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:32,120
Speaker 1: the franchise is pushing for a change, and I want

968
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:36,799
Speaker 1: to feel like, you know, me as Bachelor and Matt

969
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 1: as Bachelor and Rachel Lindsay and all these other things,

970
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:44,359
Speaker 1: and just that it wasn't just all performative and we're

971
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:46,000
Speaker 1: kind of sitting back to wait to see if it

972
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:50,640
Speaker 1: was or was not. But this situation, it really does

973
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 1: feel like the expectation in the standards is set of

974
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,319
Speaker 1: you know, how we're viewed or not viewed or not

975
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: seen right, And just to add on, I don't think

976
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 1: we had any expectation that that would not be addressed.

977
00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: We went in last night thinking by all means that

978
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 1: that was going to be a conversation that's had, because

979
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,359
Speaker 1: otherwise I would have not said in the audience if

980
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:17,160
Speaker 1: if I knew it wasn't going to be addressed, I

981
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 1: wouldn't go and support that, you know, like if I

982
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:22,400
Speaker 1: you know, or even if I thought he was going

983
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 1: to be just like sprinkled over, I wouldn't have gone like,

984
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 1: there's you know, a decent part of the conversation should

985
00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:34,000
Speaker 1: have gone to that. And so yeah, yeah, I and

986
00:55:34,080 --> 00:55:37,640
Speaker 1: so and I saw you afterwards. You were visibly shaken

987
00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:42,640
Speaker 1: upset rightfully, So I totally understand. And I actually had

988
00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:45,440
Speaker 1: a conversation with Thomas afterwards because he wasn't there, but

989
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,799
Speaker 1: I called him and I told him everything that went

990
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: down because he hadn't seen it yet because we were

991
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,840
Speaker 1: there earlier. But I told him what went down and

992
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 1: like what to expect, and he was baffled. And I

993
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: prior to going on in recording this part, I really

994
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 1: wanted to have a conversation with him because he is

995
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: a black man and his voice I think needs to

996
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,319
Speaker 1: also be heard and amplified. And I asked him, like

997
00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:11,439
Speaker 1: me going on this podcast, I want to be your

998
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:14,239
Speaker 1: voice and just try to relay how you felt in

999
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 1: that moment, you know, not even having this issue be

1000
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 1: acknowledged in any way, shape or form. And his main

1001
00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:29,799
Speaker 1: takeaway was he's also so frustrated, and he said it best.

1002
00:56:29,880 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 1: He said it was a conscious effort made to not

1003
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:39,120
Speaker 1: talk about it, which is the problem. And he had

1004
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,640
Speaker 1: posted on his stories about it and a lot of

1005
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,759
Speaker 1: the dms he's been getting our people brushing it over

1006
00:56:45,840 --> 00:56:48,920
Speaker 1: too and saying it's not an issue and if somebody

1007
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: apologizes and it happened years ago, don't keep bringing it up.

1008
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 1: But that's the problem. It's like we still have to

1009
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: have these conversations, right like we were having this conversation

1010
00:56:58,560 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 1: a very similar, very very similar conversation on my season,

1011
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,720
Speaker 1: which was back in twenty eighteen, and at that point

1012
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 1: I was in a different headspace. I made a ton

1013
00:57:11,960 --> 00:57:13,960
Speaker 1: of mistakes and I was definitely in the wrong. I

1014
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:18,520
Speaker 1: handled that situation so poorly, but we still had the

1015
00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 1: opportunity to address it and talk about it. And since then,

1016
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: I have still been trying to be better and I

1017
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 1: will always be better and I will still always make mistakes.

1018
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:31,200
Speaker 1: But that's where that's where you have to start, is

1019
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,640
Speaker 1: to address it and have a conversation. And that's where

1020
00:57:33,640 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: we're at. And so to see you and to see

1021
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,800
Speaker 1: Thomas now, who this has happened several times, after several

1022
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 1: consecutive seasons. Why don't we have a better plan in place?

1023
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:47,520
Speaker 1: And that's a whole other conversation to be had, and

1024
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,000
Speaker 1: it's not going to be had with us on this podcast,

1025
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 1: but I think something can at least start here with

1026
00:57:54,000 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 1: us and so, and I just wanted your voice to

1027
00:57:57,760 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 1: be heard because I was. I was incredibly and still

1028
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: am incredibly upset with how it was handled, how it

1029
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 1: was not handled. And you know, it's just even after,

1030
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 1: you know, as I was left the stage, and I

1031
00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 1: just like, what do I do with this energy? Right?

1032
00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 1: What do I like? What do I do with this?

1033
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:25,959
Speaker 1: And kind of like you said with Thomas, um, kind

1034
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:29,160
Speaker 1: of there was definitely a moment as I was speaking

1035
00:58:29,200 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: to others, there's definitely you know, because I'm visibly upset,

1036
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:36,800
Speaker 1: I'm angry, I'm crying like I'm normally like a fairly

1037
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:40,919
Speaker 1: calmon like career. It was always right right, like I

1038
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 1: was visibly flustered, crying, upset, angry, you know, and so

1039
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,320
Speaker 1: people were going to trying to figure out, you know,

1040
00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 1: what's going on, and it took a minute for people

1041
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:57,800
Speaker 1: to realize what just went down, what had just happened.

1042
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 1: And you know, I did sit down and speak with

1043
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:07,360
Speaker 1: some of the executive producers about how this was handled,

1044
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 1: and they haven't seen me visibly upset like that before,

1045
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: but to really express that, like I don't want an apology,

1046
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,880
Speaker 1: I don't want a reason. I want this to be fixed.

1047
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 1: I want these mistakes to not happen because they shouldn't

1048
00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:29,440
Speaker 1: be happening period. You know, we've been through this, however

1049
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:32,440
Speaker 1: many times, like this is all we have to like

1050
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: we need to open our eyes and listen. I mean,

1051
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:38,000
Speaker 1: even before going in the episode tonight, like it's we

1052
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:41,920
Speaker 1: pay attention to the buzz online. We pay attention to

1053
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: what's being tweeted, what's being spoken about, what the controversies,

1054
00:59:46,720 --> 00:59:50,720
Speaker 1: controversies are about, and so there was already buzz about

1055
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 1: whether this was going to get you know, spoken about

1056
00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: recovered or not, you know, by the pop community, like

1057
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: it was already pointed out, and just to even like

1058
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 1: be sitting there in the audience and there are other

1059
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 1: you know, people of color in the audience as well,

1060
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:10,640
Speaker 1: and just like as the show continued to go on,

1061
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,080
Speaker 1: looking into their eyes and making eye contact, there was

1062
01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:16,600
Speaker 1: a certain energy, There was an energy that like we

1063
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:20,960
Speaker 1: knew what was happening. We very well knew what was happening.

1064
01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 1: There was an energy change. And the problem with that

1065
01:00:24,440 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 1: is the fact that nobody else around since that energy

1066
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,840
Speaker 1: change except for the people of color. That's the issue.

1067
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 1: That's the privilege. And like what you kind of said

1068
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 1: with with Thomas and the messages that he got or

1069
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: he received, of like, well, wait, what's what's the issue?

1070
01:00:41,040 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 1: He already issued an apology. I'd be very curious or

1071
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 1: almost like you don't even need to know like the

1072
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:50,520
Speaker 1: you know, the race of those people sending those messages

1073
01:00:50,920 --> 01:00:53,560
Speaker 1: probably not people of color, right, And so how are

1074
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:57,320
Speaker 1: you to sit back and say that a situation, especially

1075
01:00:57,320 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: a racial situation or a feeling or is taken care

1076
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: of when you are not that race. That's privilege, right,

1077
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 1: And you in the conversation that we had with Gabby

1078
01:01:09,640 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 1: yesterday for the podcast, you made such a good point

1079
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 1: and that was like, continue to have these conversations and

1080
01:01:19,120 --> 01:01:24,720
Speaker 1: to especially for me and being in the white community

1081
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,680
Speaker 1: and the fan base I will say for this franchise

1082
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,680
Speaker 1: is predominantly white, is to still try to put in

1083
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 1: the work and just learn and take five minutes to

1084
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:37,439
Speaker 1: educate yourself on a topic, and don't just do it

1085
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 1: right now, you know, because the heat is on, because

1086
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 1: everything is so heightened in this week or this month,

1087
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: whatever it might be. And I think that was such

1088
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 1: a good point and something that I actively want to do,

1089
01:01:50,000 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 1: and I should have started this earlier. But I am

1090
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 1: going to start a resource page on my Instagram where

1091
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: people can go and take ten minutes every day to

1092
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,800
Speaker 1: just click on one of the links to read an

1093
01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:08,520
Speaker 1: article or you know, take an hour to watch a documentary.

1094
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: It will be there on my page. And again, like

1095
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 1: I have been in a very similar situation to Gabby,

1096
01:02:15,280 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 1: what I've done things differently in hindsight a thousand percent.

1097
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:21,560
Speaker 1: I can't go back in the past and change it.

1098
01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 1: I can only try to maybe give her advice for

1099
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 1: being in a very similar situation. And I'm not perfect,

1100
01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: and I want this to come across as like holier

1101
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:33,800
Speaker 1: than thou, like let me educate you. That is not

1102
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do here. But I also love

1103
01:02:37,760 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 1: to learn, love to educate myself. So I'm in the

1104
01:02:40,280 --> 01:02:42,600
Speaker 1: mindset of like why not, why not to be a

1105
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,040
Speaker 1: better ally? Why not educate myself more? And I can

1106
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 1: only hope and keep my fingers crossed that our listeners

1107
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 1: and viewers of this franchise are out there too to

1108
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 1: want to do the same, you know, like why not?

1109
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:03,200
Speaker 1: Just like kind of I feel I'm going to speak

1110
01:03:03,240 --> 01:03:05,760
Speaker 1: for both of us, Becka, but correct me, correct me

1111
01:03:05,800 --> 01:03:08,040
Speaker 1: if you need to. But like you know, you and

1112
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:11,520
Speaker 1: me setting up different resources pages, We're not going to

1113
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 1: allow the excuse of I don't know where to start,

1114
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,480
Speaker 1: because we're gonna give you a place to start. Yeah,

1115
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: I'll make it very, very freaking easy for you. We

1116
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:19,520
Speaker 1: are going to make it very easy for you. We're

1117
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 1: gonna give you a place to start. And that's the

1118
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 1: biggest thing is that, like we had these conversations two

1119
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 1: years ago sitting on a stage, and I've carried those

1120
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,640
Speaker 1: with me. You know that those still have weighed on

1121
01:03:35,720 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 1: me those still weigh on me. Those are always going

1122
01:03:38,040 --> 01:03:41,720
Speaker 1: to weigh on me because those situations happen very frequently.

1123
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:46,560
Speaker 1: And I feel like in Bachelor Nation, Yeah, it's amazing

1124
01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 1: that we have so many supporters and die hard fans

1125
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 1: and all these different things, but the fact that this

1126
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:58,040
Speaker 1: has happened so many times in different ways through this

1127
01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:01,960
Speaker 1: show is like something as got a change, Something has

1128
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 1: got to change. And even I challenge, you know, everybody

1129
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:10,520
Speaker 1: who's involved with the show. I know that, like I

1130
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:14,520
Speaker 1: get the busy schedules, I get back to back, you know,

1131
01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: jumping from one thing show to the next to the next.

1132
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,360
Speaker 1: You know, we're about to start paradise. But really, like

1133
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:22,760
Speaker 1: people who are producing the show, it's also your job

1134
01:04:22,920 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 1: to educate yourself. Because this one, this one was on

1135
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:31,360
Speaker 1: that them, this one right here, it's also on our viewers.

1136
01:04:31,360 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 1: It's also on Eric, it's also on you know what

1137
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: I mean, everybody involved to discuss it. But for teaching,

1138
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 1: we had to do professional development all the time. And

1139
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 1: you know, when I say that, I'm not generalizing, right,

1140
01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 1: I'm not generalizing when I say that, not everybody's head

1141
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 1: is in the right spot. There are producers who sat

1142
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,400
Speaker 1: with me last night and cried with me and know

1143
01:04:56,760 --> 01:05:00,400
Speaker 1: very well exactly what I'm speaking about because I feel

1144
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:03,240
Speaker 1: it as well. And you know, and then there are

1145
01:05:03,280 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 1: ones that you know, maybe they didn't notice. Right, everybody's

1146
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:09,880
Speaker 1: in a different place, everybody's in a different journey of

1147
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,320
Speaker 1: you know what you want to call it, becoming woke,

1148
01:05:12,480 --> 01:05:17,240
Speaker 1: becoming more educated on these types of things. But the

1149
01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:19,920
Speaker 1: degree to what this is happening is really not okay.

1150
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:24,640
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm saying I'm challenging everybody too. Really,

1151
01:05:25,080 --> 01:05:27,560
Speaker 1: like every week you should be setting time aside to

1152
01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:29,880
Speaker 1: learn about this. You should be getting to the point

1153
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: where you're seeking information, not just receiving it and reacting

1154
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 1: as it happens. And I think that's what I really

1155
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:40,680
Speaker 1: want to see this franchise do, is like professional development

1156
01:05:40,880 --> 01:05:43,120
Speaker 1: might be something that needs to take place. You know,

1157
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:47,000
Speaker 1: we learn about implicit bias as teachers because we're dealing

1158
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 1: with youth and creating and molding different like young minds

1159
01:05:51,280 --> 01:05:54,240
Speaker 1: too better the world. We have to do that as teachers,

1160
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:58,160
Speaker 1: right in a world where we live in a very

1161
01:05:58,160 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 1: diverse world, Why would you want to have that same

1162
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,840
Speaker 1: type of professional development because of all the different walks

1163
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:08,160
Speaker 1: of life that are coming into the show. And yes,

1164
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 1: it's reality TV and there's business to it, and I

1165
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 1: get that, but at the same time, you want real

1166
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:17,560
Speaker 1: love stories. The viewers want real love stories. In the end.

1167
01:06:17,560 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 1: In order to get that, you have to understand the

1168
01:06:19,520 --> 01:06:21,959
Speaker 1: people that are there, and it can't just be white people.

1169
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:24,640
Speaker 1: And so I do think that I do think that

1170
01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 1: professional development should be something that should be a priority required.

1171
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:33,600
Speaker 1: People will say like, we want to see more all

1172
01:06:33,640 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 1: walks of life, more diversity on the screen, which yes,

1173
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:40,360
Speaker 1: that is so important, but also behind the screen too,

1174
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:43,280
Speaker 1: And I think that's one takeaway that we witness first

1175
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:47,880
Speaker 1: hand last night, is we need more people of color

1176
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:53,000
Speaker 1: in the executive levels to help make these conversations actually

1177
01:06:53,040 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 1: happen and push the needle forward, move the needle forward,

1178
01:06:55,880 --> 01:07:00,840
Speaker 1: whatever they're saying is and yeah, and I guess like

1179
01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:03,680
Speaker 1: when sharing resource is One thing that I just because

1180
01:07:03,680 --> 01:07:09,560
Speaker 1: it pertains to this situation in general, is when people say,

1181
01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:12,600
Speaker 1: because I've also gotten m my DMS, I'm sure you have.

1182
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:16,240
Speaker 1: We will definitely after this podcast is released or people

1183
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:19,240
Speaker 1: are still going to say, you know, it wasn't that

1184
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:22,360
Speaker 1: big of a deal. Eric liked Jimmie Hendrix which is

1185
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:25,000
Speaker 1: something you'll notice in his apology that he states, but

1186
01:07:25,120 --> 01:07:28,720
Speaker 1: it's not that, it's like, go back to when black

1187
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:32,920
Speaker 1: face was started and educate yourselves from then on and

1188
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 1: know why now it is offensive. And I that's one

1189
01:07:37,640 --> 01:07:41,280
Speaker 1: of the articles I'll share on my resources here is

1190
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: it goes into a deep dive of the roots of

1191
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:47,560
Speaker 1: black face, and I think it was Also there's a

1192
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:50,560
Speaker 1: documentary called Thirteenth that I think touches on it too

1193
01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: and talks a little bit about it. Like those are

1194
01:07:52,160 --> 01:07:55,640
Speaker 1: two great places to start. But knowing the why behind

1195
01:07:55,760 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 1: it's not just like you know, oh, he painted his

1196
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 1: face black, like that's not a big deal. It's it's

1197
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:04,560
Speaker 1: the why, and that's where we all can learn more

1198
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 1: because I didn't learn about that in elementary school or

1199
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 1: high school or college unfortunately, which is definitely something I

1200
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:16,720
Speaker 1: should have but you know, I'm doing it now. But

1201
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:21,919
Speaker 1: but it's just educating ourselves to the root of everything, correct,

1202
01:08:21,960 --> 01:08:25,800
Speaker 1: And I think that's what's it's so hard, because Okay,

1203
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:28,639
Speaker 1: so like if you there's just so many layers to everything,

1204
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:32,080
Speaker 1: and it doesn't mean you know, there's so many different layers,

1205
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: and you have to have people who are willing to

1206
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:41,120
Speaker 1: peel back those layers of everything and understand, you know,

1207
01:08:41,160 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 1: the differences in growing up, and like there's just so

1208
01:08:46,240 --> 01:08:49,519
Speaker 1: many because those conversations, you know, I remember my dad

1209
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 1: sitting down with my brother and I as we started

1210
01:08:53,560 --> 01:08:57,680
Speaker 1: to turn sixteen, and we had so many different conversations

1211
01:08:58,000 --> 01:09:00,599
Speaker 1: my dad with us of getting pulled over or exactly

1212
01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:03,519
Speaker 1: what you do, what you grab for speak, like we

1213
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:06,720
Speaker 1: practice the lines of what we would say so that

1214
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:08,840
Speaker 1: we could be safe. Like I was taught that I

1215
01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 1: was I was taught about you know that we're exactly

1216
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,960
Speaker 1: where the N word came from. I was taught about

1217
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:16,680
Speaker 1: the Confederate flag. I was taught about blackface. I was

1218
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 1: taught I was taught about all these different things because

1219
01:09:20,240 --> 01:09:22,720
Speaker 1: my family had to raise me in a way to

1220
01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:25,280
Speaker 1: make sure that I was educated and to make sure

1221
01:09:25,280 --> 01:09:30,759
Speaker 1: that I stayed safe. And so that's not necessarily the case,

1222
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:35,960
Speaker 1: typically the case, you know, in a white family. And

1223
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:39,320
Speaker 1: so it's just like they're at this point, we have

1224
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:43,040
Speaker 1: to seek out information to learn about those things because

1225
01:09:43,400 --> 01:09:46,479
Speaker 1: otherwise this is going to continue to happen, right, And

1226
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:49,240
Speaker 1: we're just repeating and going in circles and going in

1227
01:09:49,280 --> 01:09:51,760
Speaker 1: circles now, and you know, it leaves us in a

1228
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:55,360
Speaker 1: tough position because I know after tonight, I'm emotionally exhausted,

1229
01:09:55,400 --> 01:09:59,679
Speaker 1: but Gay, I know that you're emotionally exhausted. And it's

1230
01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:06,439
Speaker 1: really like, how do you keep moving forward in a

1231
01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:10,519
Speaker 1: franchise that you feel like doesn't support you? Right? And

1232
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:14,840
Speaker 1: I want you to know, as a friend, as an

1233
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:17,640
Speaker 1: ally like, I am here to support you no matter what.

1234
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 1: And that's why I think having this sit down right

1235
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:24,080
Speaker 1: now and having this conversation was very necessary. We asked

1236
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,240
Speaker 1: people to work over time to make sure we could

1237
01:10:26,280 --> 01:10:28,160
Speaker 1: be here and do this, and this is just the start.

1238
01:10:28,640 --> 01:10:30,920
Speaker 1: And this isn't the first time we've had to have

1239
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,240
Speaker 1: these conversations, and this isn't the first time we've seen

1240
01:10:33,280 --> 01:10:36,880
Speaker 1: that this on this franchise, And sadly, I don't think

1241
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:41,320
Speaker 1: it's going to be the last. But my only hope

1242
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:44,000
Speaker 1: moving forward is that we don't have to like scramble

1243
01:10:44,080 --> 01:10:47,200
Speaker 1: to have another conversation because something didn't take place. Something

1244
01:10:47,280 --> 01:10:50,080
Speaker 1: should still be taking place. This happens again, a conversation

1245
01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:53,879
Speaker 1: still should be had and dressed in a much different

1246
01:10:53,960 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: better way. And so, yeah, it's just been it's been,

1247
01:10:59,520 --> 01:11:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, been heavy and we we you know, we

1248
01:11:02,280 --> 01:11:05,679
Speaker 1: do understand mistakes happen, right, like you kind of spoke about,

1249
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:08,200
Speaker 1: and we do. You know, there's been so many different

1250
01:11:08,200 --> 01:11:12,040
Speaker 1: comments about like well, production should be vetting the people,

1251
01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,120
Speaker 1: like you know, deeper to a deeper level so that

1252
01:11:15,160 --> 01:11:16,759
Speaker 1: they don't let any of these people on the show.

1253
01:11:17,320 --> 01:11:22,920
Speaker 1: And it's like yes to a certain yes, but now

1254
01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,720
Speaker 1: that this happened, how did we react? How are we

1255
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:26,360
Speaker 1: going to react to it? And this is how we

1256
01:11:26,439 --> 01:11:29,080
Speaker 1: reacted to it. So it's like I feel like every

1257
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:34,400
Speaker 1: single step we're not doing it correctly. We're more reactive,

1258
01:11:34,640 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 1: not proactive. Exactly exactly, yes, exactly, And so this is

1259
01:11:40,400 --> 01:11:45,120
Speaker 1: this truly is really change change. I challenge the viewers

1260
01:11:45,320 --> 01:11:48,799
Speaker 1: or our listeners. I challenge you know, Bastor Nation, viewers,

1261
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:55,040
Speaker 1: um production, you know, just everybody too set time aside

1262
01:11:55,840 --> 01:11:58,639
Speaker 1: every week to learn, and if you're not sure where

1263
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 1: to go, like you said, we're going to post things

1264
01:12:01,080 --> 01:12:03,559
Speaker 1: on our resource highlight so that you have a place

1265
01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:08,160
Speaker 1: to start. But even if you understand everything that had

1266
01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 1: has happened, you know myself, I still can learn. I

1267
01:12:13,160 --> 01:12:16,160
Speaker 1: still can listen to podcasts, I still can you know,

1268
01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:18,880
Speaker 1: read a book. I still can watch a documentary. There's

1269
01:12:18,960 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 1: so many different pieces of like media now that you

1270
01:12:22,479 --> 01:12:25,519
Speaker 1: can can do. You know, you can find time you're

1271
01:12:25,560 --> 01:12:27,920
Speaker 1: in the car, put on the podcast. Yeah, you know,

1272
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:30,559
Speaker 1: you're cleaning, put on the podcast, or throw on the

1273
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:33,320
Speaker 1: documentary and just listen to it. There's just so many

1274
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:38,280
Speaker 1: little things that you can do to do better, and

1275
01:12:38,360 --> 01:12:40,760
Speaker 1: you just got to start. And we all need to

1276
01:12:40,760 --> 01:12:43,600
Speaker 1: do better. Yeah, yeah, we all do better when we

1277
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:47,600
Speaker 1: all do better. I can't remember who said that, Michelle.

1278
01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:50,439
Speaker 1: I am so happy we were able to sit down,

1279
01:12:50,439 --> 01:12:52,519
Speaker 1: and I know this has taken so much out of you.

1280
01:12:52,640 --> 01:12:55,800
Speaker 1: I can see it. I want you to just take

1281
01:12:55,840 --> 01:12:58,160
Speaker 1: a little break and if you need time away from

1282
01:12:58,439 --> 01:13:01,720
Speaker 1: the podcast, I will one thousand percent understand support you.

1283
01:13:03,200 --> 01:13:05,240
Speaker 1: I don't think this is gonna change overnight. We're gonna

1284
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:07,280
Speaker 1: it's gonna take some time. But I really just want

1285
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:10,400
Speaker 1: you to take some time for yourself to and focus

1286
01:13:10,439 --> 01:13:13,680
Speaker 1: on you and give some self love to you. But

1287
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,519
Speaker 1: if there's anything else you want to say right now,

1288
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:20,760
Speaker 1: I mean now it's the time. Otherwise we just got

1289
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,360
Speaker 1: to move on from here and like you said, be better,

1290
01:13:23,439 --> 01:13:27,040
Speaker 1: do better. Yeah, No, I just I think you know,

1291
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:29,000
Speaker 1: Beck and I are going to make up a point

1292
01:13:29,120 --> 01:13:35,240
Speaker 1: to UM kind of gear our listeners towards our resources.

1293
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:37,880
Speaker 1: UM or give just a few minutes talking about it

1294
01:13:38,439 --> 01:13:40,760
Speaker 1: each week, just so that I'm making sure that like

1295
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:44,960
Speaker 1: it's a constant part of our conversation and as a

1296
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:48,080
Speaker 1: as a reminder because yeah, people do get busy, UM

1297
01:13:48,360 --> 01:13:52,840
Speaker 1: but truly just yeah, this has been emotional. This has

1298
01:13:52,840 --> 01:13:59,240
Speaker 1: been exhausting. Um I I you know, sorry, it's good.

1299
01:13:59,320 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 1: Change is better a big coote person, but it's just

1300
01:14:02,439 --> 01:14:08,320
Speaker 1: I really hope that there's some changes made because I

1301
01:14:08,360 --> 01:14:10,759
Speaker 1: would love, I would love to stay in this position.

1302
01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:13,800
Speaker 1: But like I said before, it's it's been emotional, it's

1303
01:14:13,800 --> 01:14:16,360
Speaker 1: been a lot, and really want to make sure that

1304
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:22,479
Speaker 1: my energy is put in somewhere where it's valued. It's valued,

1305
01:14:22,560 --> 01:14:29,840
Speaker 1: it's seen, and it's and it's equal. And so yeah,

1306
01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:33,559
Speaker 1: I appreciate you taking time to talk. And also for

1307
01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:36,920
Speaker 1: our listeners. We can reach out to back and I

1308
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 1: have questions. If you need support, we can give you

1309
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:44,599
Speaker 1: resources as well. Yeah, well, thank you bout your happy

1310
01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:47,200
Speaker 1: Hour listeners. But bigger thank you too, you Michelle, you

1311
01:14:47,240 --> 01:14:49,439
Speaker 1: know I love you. Thank you, love you too. Becks.

1312
01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:53,439
Speaker 1: I'll talk to you later girl. Okay bye. Thank you

1313
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 1: Bachelor Happy Hour listeners, and make sure to hit us

1314
01:14:56,160 --> 01:14:58,479
Speaker 1: up on social. You can do so if you follow

1315
01:14:58,560 --> 01:15:01,200
Speaker 1: us at Bachelor Happy Hour on Instagram and then from

1316
01:15:01,240 --> 01:15:03,559
Speaker 1: there you'll find everything you need to know to follow

1317
01:15:03,640 --> 01:15:06,639
Speaker 1: us on both Twitter and TikTok and Boucher Happy Hour

1318
01:15:06,720 --> 01:15:10,160
Speaker 1: is available on Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or wherever you listen,

1319
01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:12,599
Speaker 1: and you can listen ad free by subscribing to Wondering

1320
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:16,479
Speaker 1: Plus in Apple Podcasts or the Wondering App. Thanks everyone,

1321
01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:19,760
Speaker 1: and chat with y'all next week. Cheers