Speaker 1: My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast
Speaker 1: is joy. I talk to interest in people about what
Speaker 1: brings them happiness.
Speaker 2: Weird Aal Yankovic.
Speaker 1: If you don't love weird Dally Yankovic, I have one
Speaker 1: question for you.
Speaker 2: How long have you been in Al Qaeda? Here is
Speaker 2: I said, I feel like I feel like you know,
Speaker 2: I've done shows were like happen hour in like is
Speaker 2: this the show? Are we doing the show? No, we
Speaker 2: are doing the show. It's all right, So you know,
Speaker 2: sit up straight, don't do anything. Don't radio voice, Yeah,
Speaker 2: use your radio voice. Don't mention anything that will get
Speaker 2: you or me canceled, or maybe you do. I think
Speaker 2: that it's now come full circle and you have to
Speaker 2: say something that gets you canceled so that you're participating.
Speaker 2: You don't get canceled every decadar So people wonder what's
Speaker 2: wrong with you. Well, yeah, you get canceled. I don't
Speaker 2: know if you if actually is the thing that you
Speaker 2: get canceled.
Speaker 1: Does anybody really get canceled? I mean yeah, I think
Speaker 1: a couple of people got canceled. I mean, but they
Speaker 1: were like really really bad. Really yeah, yeah, they're like
Speaker 1: they were like jail canceled. Yes, but when you're jail canceled, yeah,
Speaker 1: jail canceled. That that's like the gold standard of canceled.
Speaker 1: So listen to me and and say nothing until I finish. Okay, no,
Speaker 1: listen to me. It's lovely to see you. I haven't
Speaker 1: seen you since oh my god, since maybe Scotland.
Speaker 2: Was it that longer? Yeah, I guess it might have been.
Speaker 1: It may have been. Oh no, maybe I think you
Speaker 1: know what I think I saw you. Maybe I saw
Speaker 1: you in my host in Elia. I was getting a tattooed.
Speaker 1: And you can't have a look because you've never seen
Speaker 1: anyone get a tattooed, not up clothes, which I have
Speaker 1: to say out as someone who has the broken roller
Speaker 1: dances you have. You're really, you're very You're lacking a
Speaker 1: lot in tattoos.
Speaker 2: I'm not a big fan of needles, you know. I
Speaker 2: just I just, actually, like an hour ago, got my
Speaker 2: COVID booster and flu shots. Oh so Bill Gates knows
Speaker 2: you're here that well, I don't know. It's oh my god.
Speaker 2: I either got the one where Bill Gates is going
Speaker 2: to be controlling my mind, or I got the one
Speaker 2: where my five g phone is going to turn me
Speaker 2: into a zombie. So I'm not sure which one I got.
Speaker 2: I only just heard about that.
Speaker 1: The theory about that that noise on your phone goes
Speaker 1: off triggers your COVID.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it turns you in Fuh. I like that cool. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they think of a lot, they think of all the
Speaker 2: cold so creative. Yeah, it's lovely, but I will see this.
Speaker 1: I got my COVID jabs in Scotland, so I think
Speaker 1: it won't work in me. I think it basically if
Speaker 1: it mang goes off, I turned into fat back. Once
Speaker 1: you across the border, it's all bets are off.
Speaker 2: Did you get COVID? I did? Yeah, I was so
Speaker 2: very very careful. But we toured last year for six months,
Speaker 2: and uh, I think I was the first one to
Speaker 2: kick COVID. You got it and then you infected the
Speaker 2: whole band. Yeah no, no, we all just took turns.
Speaker 2: We all thankfully nobody got not more than one person
Speaker 2: in the band got COVID at the same time, but
Speaker 2: we all took turns. Well. I think that that's very
Speaker 2: profession it was a very professional way to approach the band.
Speaker 1: I think we could all have learned from that. What
Speaker 1: do you call your band? Just the weird Al band? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I call him.
Speaker 2: Jim Steve and John Ruban, I guess, but the collective
Speaker 2: none for the band, just yeah Al's band. You know,
Speaker 2: for a while, we're changing the name of the band
Speaker 2: every tour, like back when Dirty Stupid was the album
Speaker 2: there with a stupid band or you know, it's just
Speaker 2: like a theme for the album, but we gave up
Speaker 2: on that. Look, I have a name for a band,
Speaker 2: and I think you can have it if you think
Speaker 2: it for free? Yeah, okay, you're ready, Yes, call on Floss,
Speaker 2: coll On Floss, coll on Floss. Yeah, what do you think?
Speaker 2: Is it too too much? You know, I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 2: gonna put that in my back pocket and near and
Speaker 2: stick a pen in any well, see what you did say?
Speaker 2: What you did? Now?
Speaker 1: Listen, you've been on tour. I was talking to Suzan,
Speaker 1: your lovely lady wife about this. You've been on tour
Speaker 1: a lot, like like for the past like thirty years continually. Yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty much? Right, well a lot a lot?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Do you still love it? I do? You know,
Speaker 2: it's my favorite part of what I do. I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't like being away from my loved ones. Oh
Speaker 2: you take them with you. They do it now now
Speaker 2: that we're empty nesting. My wife and I actually my
Speaker 2: wife joined me on the entire last flag of the
Speaker 2: tour because we did Australia and euro up in Hawaiian
Speaker 2: and she thought, oh, that might be fun, so we
Speaker 2: got She got to actually tour with me. So that
Speaker 2: was nice. That was nice. It was your daughter in college?
Speaker 2: She is, Yeah, she's she's on the East Coast. I
Speaker 2: can't believe that. I'm so old. She used to be
Speaker 2: a baby and now she's in college. I've got one
Speaker 2: of them that used to be a baby and is
Speaker 2: finished college. Wow. And then the other one used to
Speaker 2: be a baby and does it school and is a teenager. Ooh,
Speaker 2: that's pretty rough. You know, the teenagers thing. What would
Speaker 2: you like as a teenager? You rebellious? Well, in not
Speaker 2: as such. I mean I was. You know, you've heard
Speaker 2: my song white and Nerdy. That was me. I graduated
Speaker 2: high school when I was sixteen as the valedictorian. So
Speaker 2: I was one of those straighting nerds that people like
Speaker 2: to beat up at recess. Wait, so you were bullied
Speaker 2: a little? I mean, you know, I did I didn't
Speaker 2: literally get beat up all the time, but I go
Speaker 2: totally Barbara on right now, I'm going, I'm going to
Speaker 2: do it. Alice, it was like, no Ah, you you
Speaker 2: were bullied, right, It's true. It's a repressed memory. It's
Speaker 2: all coming back now. So you were you were bullied
Speaker 2: in that.
Speaker 1: Because we've talked about this, and it's about every single
Speaker 1: time I talked to you in a recording format. We
Speaker 1: talked about eat It because it was my first exposure
Speaker 1: to weird. Awa Yankovic was in a I was in
Speaker 1: a cab in New York. I was very, very affected
Speaker 1: by the narcotics that I've had fairly recently. To the
Speaker 1: cab right starting and I heard eat It. And it
Speaker 1: was the cab driver I remember was Egyptian.
Speaker 2: And when when you sang have a banana, half a
Speaker 2: whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you've had for lunch,
Speaker 2: he had to pull over. We were both laughing so hard,
Speaker 2: and I don't think he'd been taking some narcotics. I
Speaker 2: had said, we have a lot more narcotics. But you know,
Speaker 2: it was dangerous. Hell people could have got hurt, you know.
Speaker 2: I I don't hold myself liable for any of that.
Speaker 2: I had my record label sign a waiver that if
Speaker 2: anybody is any traffic accidents.
Speaker 1: It's an interesting world you've comeved for yourself though, because
Speaker 1: it's not like who's the new WEIRDL or who is
Speaker 1: the weird al before weird Ow.
Speaker 2: It's just weird hell. I mean, you know they're there
Speaker 2: for a while, I was getting pitched a bunch of teeth.
Speaker 2: There's a period of time where I literally had six
Speaker 2: different production companies say we want you to host a
Speaker 2: show called find a New Weird Al. No, you know,
Speaker 2: one of these reality shows. And I was like, why
Speaker 2: would I want to do that? I'm already and still
Speaker 2: and continue to be weird al. Why don't we want
Speaker 2: a new weird al?
Speaker 1: But that's it seems so strange to me because they
Speaker 1: that's that. I feel that's rude. But was that, like
Speaker 1: Simon cow You can tell me it was it, Simon Cole?
Speaker 2: Is that? I mean? I might have bad I don't know.
Speaker 2: He sends to me like a try and fight America's
Speaker 2: new weird Right? How does how did you get the
Speaker 2: name weird? It was something that was kind of foisted
Speaker 2: on me in college. I think my freshman year in
Speaker 2: the dorms in college is ironic because you're not weird.
Speaker 2: Well no, I think you know, they thought I was
Speaker 2: weird because I were a little weird. That's gonna say.
Speaker 1: It's come full circle. It's like drinking yourself sober. It's like,
Speaker 1: he's not weird, We'll call him weird, but yeah, actually
Speaker 1: are weird.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I would be roaming around the halls of my
Speaker 2: dorm and people would say, Oh, who's that just weird?
Speaker 2: Hell weird? Uh yeah, and then I just took it
Speaker 2: on as a radio name professionally.
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to ask you something about this because
Speaker 1: you strike me as someone who should have gone through
Speaker 1: a goth period.
Speaker 2: But I don't think dead. Did you a goth period? Yeah,
Speaker 2: you should have been a goth man, there's still time. Yeah,
Speaker 2: well that's kind of where I was going with this.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's I didn't become a goth either,
Speaker 1: and we could do goth things together, likeng out and
Speaker 1: be in a bad mood pot phase and I had punk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not the same. Yeah, you know you
Speaker 2: don't know anything about it. Shut up, Dad, I hate you.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is we could wear black lipstick
Speaker 1: and hang out and mat and go to the I
Speaker 1: just where we record.
Speaker 2: This place is right next to the Museum of Death. Oh,
Speaker 2: I didn't even know about that. Yeah, it's a museum
Speaker 2: right nearby and it's called the Museum of the Graveyard. No,
Speaker 2: I don't think so, I'm too scared to go in.
Speaker 2: I think they should rebrand graveyards as museums of death. Right.
Speaker 1: There's a road sign in the town that I drive
Speaker 1: into in Scotland sometimes and it says retail park and
Speaker 1: it points to the left, and cemetery and it points
Speaker 1: to the right. And every time we drive by, Megan
Speaker 1: who you know, my wife always says, buying it, bought it.
Speaker 1: So listen, you leave school at sixteen having been horribly bullied.
Speaker 2: Hell, let's go with that. Yeah you weren't really were
Speaker 2: you it? This is in La though, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: Lynnwood Linwood Knights represent no lynn Wood. I don't even
Speaker 2: I live alley for twenty over twenty years. I haven't
Speaker 2: even heard a line. Would I went to the same
Speaker 2: high school as Sugar Night and who else? Mark House?
Speaker 2: How's he doing? He never calls, he never writes. I'm
Speaker 2: worried sick about him, did does see you in the
Speaker 2: school hall of fame schools? I didn't know either if
Speaker 2: I was talking to Vetna Cole Brown about it. Here's
Speaker 2: this will annoy you as much as annoyed me. Vetnicole
Speaker 2: Brown went to the same school as our Senior Hall
Speaker 2: and their school has a Hall of Fame and they
Speaker 2: have a hall which you know, like the gym like
Speaker 2: the gymnasium as a hall, and they named the hall.
Speaker 2: Now remember our Senior Hall went to this this. I'm
Speaker 2: with you, Nicole Brown Hall. I'm like you, oh my god,
Speaker 2: and it should have beout our Senio Hall Hall.
Speaker 1: Senior Hall Hall is what I said, and that is
Speaker 1: hall Hall, right, And then you can have a Vetnicole Brown,
Speaker 1: you know else staff toilet.
Speaker 2: Or something, but no territorial clock.
Speaker 1: I mean she she can, you know, she's a very
Speaker 1: magnificent human being, but nothing else but a whole Come
Speaker 1: on the hall if you have or cito. I mean,
Speaker 1: I love it, but but come on exactly anyway, That's
Speaker 1: that was when I found out schools have halls of fame.
Speaker 2: But you just doesn't right. Maybe it's a secret one,
Speaker 2: maybe after being a guild or.
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, and it's Shug's in it and you're
Speaker 1: not in it, saying that's probably what happened. So did
Speaker 1: you graduate school at sixteen?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, so I started high school when I was twelve. Wow. Yeah?
Speaker 2: Were you like some like Doogie Housers? You know? I
Speaker 2: mean I think my parents had me start kindergarten a
Speaker 2: year before they should have, and then in second grade
Speaker 2: they thought I was too advanced that they just brought
Speaker 2: me right in the third grade. So my whole youth,
Speaker 2: I was like two years younger than most of my classmates.
Speaker 2: That's kind of interesting because that's going to make you
Speaker 2: feel like a little bit of an outsider. Did you
Speaker 2: feel like an outside? Well, yes, I did, But I
Speaker 2: don't think it was totally because of my age, because,
Speaker 2: like I said, I was I was pretty nerdy, and
Speaker 2: I was I was pretty you know, awkwardly and not
Speaker 2: very social. So I think even if I was the
Speaker 2: same age, I still would have kind of stood out
Speaker 2: and not really fit in. Yeah. I think that's possibly true.
Speaker 1: And the thing is about it as well, I think
Speaker 1: maybe a lot of people don't know this about you.
Speaker 1: You're very techy, aren't you. I mean you're very You're
Speaker 1: very knowledgeable about particularly musical stuff. Is what I'm going
Speaker 1: to say, Like, do you keep up on like all
Speaker 1: the like synth technology and the like super like what
Speaker 1: does it call that thing again?
Speaker 2: Auto beep or something erotic?
Speaker 1: Auto erotic massage? I think that's it's that musical thing.
Speaker 2: It seems to be. Actually it's done with a few musicians,
Speaker 2: for sure.
Speaker 1: It would it be terrible though, if I was gonna
Speaker 1: do that, and I'm not saying I haven't, but I
Speaker 1: haven't done it today.
Speaker 2: Yes, but if I was going to do that, I'd
Speaker 2: be scared. You know, well you should be. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't like to feel scared when I'm on my own.
Speaker 2: You should not feel that way. All right, let's get
Speaker 2: that us.
Speaker 1: So, so if you graduate high school at sixty WHATBS
Speaker 1: did you go to college?
Speaker 2: I did? I went to the California Polytechnic State University
Speaker 2: at San Luis Obispo. That's a catchy one, you know.
Speaker 2: T shirts are three feet wide. Get the whole name
Speaker 2: on there. Wow, Sant Louis Episto Abispo Abisspe. Is that
Speaker 2: where they have the hotel? That's yes, they have a
Speaker 2: hotel there, but it's good. Madonna's Madonna and Yeah, have
Speaker 2: you been there? I have you?
Speaker 1: Oh, that's that's the you know, tourist attraction in San Labe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I went to the I think I stayed in the
Speaker 1: flint Stones room. Oh, the Caveman room.
Speaker 2: Right, Caveman. There's like a three three year waiting list
Speaker 2: for that room. He must be like important or something. No, No,
Speaker 2: this was way back in the day.
Speaker 1: This is before the internet had snuck up with the
Speaker 1: Madonna and there's the other one.
Speaker 2: Have you stayed there? I I think I think one
Speaker 2: time when we the band played sant Luisibiso, I think
Speaker 2: they arranged to actually have a stay at Madonna and
Speaker 2: which is pretty cool. Yeah. Do you remember what room
Speaker 2: you were in? Not the cave Man room. I wasn't
Speaker 2: quite that. That's maybe then I have seen it.
Speaker 1: It was for a whole event I was doing on
Speaker 1: my own about auto erotic cave dwelling.
Speaker 2: Yes, So what did you study at college? Architecture? No? See,
Speaker 2: what the hell? What was I doing? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Are you still into architecture? You know, not so much.
Speaker 2: I mean I appreciate a good building, but you know
Speaker 2: it kind do you like do you like a brutalist
Speaker 2: you know, kind of German bowhouse type of brown ones,
Speaker 2: brown buildings, and you would have been a terrible architect.
Speaker 2: I was the worst. Yeah, because you have what kind
Speaker 2: of building you gotta put up out brown one? I
Speaker 2: think this needs a brown one? Can we see a drawing?
Speaker 1: But you the reason I say about the techie stuff
Speaker 1: is because you do the best birthday cars in the world.
Speaker 1: Anybody who's a friend of yours that you do the greatest,
Speaker 1: greatest birthday car and.
Speaker 2: No thank you.
Speaker 1: And I showed the last one you did for me,
Speaker 1: which was sensational, and I showed it to my youngest
Speaker 1: son and he's like, Liam, who you of course, and
Speaker 1: he was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, that must have taken him weeks
Speaker 2: to do that. And I was like, yeah, I think
Speaker 2: it really did. But it didn't. I'll did it well,
Speaker 2: it did, but I have to confess you're not the
Speaker 2: only person who sent that card too. I changed the
Speaker 2: names for the other people though. But so it's a
Speaker 2: kind of like super high tech jib jab thing. It is.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a I guess we'll give him a plug.
Speaker 2: It's American Greetings and it's a it's a birthday card.
Speaker 2: People think oh, it's a I they had you like
Speaker 2: doing like all these different names. You like, they made
Speaker 2: your mouth move and made the word no. It's old school.
Speaker 2: I literally had to go through like over a thousand
Speaker 2: names to do that, and every single age and every
Speaker 2: you know, so I had to you know, there are
Speaker 2: like two different times when I mentioned somebody's names, so
Speaker 2: I had to go twice through the entire scene with
Speaker 2: a thousand names. It's a lot of work. Why did
Speaker 2: you do this? I mean, because the card is fine, Well,
Speaker 2: you know, I just wanted to freak you out. It
Speaker 2: freaked me out. Or when I go to I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's crazy. I really genuine I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm not illiterate in the world of tech, but I'm like,
Speaker 2: I have no idea how he did this.
Speaker 1: I have genuinely no idea. And I remember years ago.
Speaker 1: You might not remember that, but when I was on
Speaker 1: the Drew Carey Show. I played Drew's English boss, of course,
Speaker 1: mister Wick, and you came on the show and you
Speaker 1: did a like a rap video type thing with Drew.
Speaker 1: Do you remember that a rap video?
Speaker 2: I think I can't know it was. I was joining
Speaker 2: Drew's band at the very end or something like that.
Speaker 2: They made another recordion player.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was something, didn't you do some kind of
Speaker 1: like it looked like a kind of nineties rap thing.
Speaker 1: I can't remember, but you're probably confused me. The only thing,
Speaker 1: the main thing I remember about doing the Drew Carry
Speaker 1: show was it was right after I had my laser surgery,
Speaker 1: so I wasn't doing the glasses and the mustache anymore,
Speaker 1: and the producers insisted that I have the glasses of
Speaker 1: the mustache otherwise how are.
Speaker 2: They gonna help? You know?
Speaker 1: They did the same with Drew Drew on that show,
Speaker 1: he got lasix and he lost like forty pounds and
Speaker 1: these to make.
Speaker 2: Wear a fats really seasons. I was like, he's coming in,
Speaker 2: Like I got, I got a fatso on and put
Speaker 2: the glasses on, so they knew it was Drew Carry.
Speaker 1: But he had lost the way. I don't feel so
Speaker 1: bad now. I also didn't have to wear a fatster.
Speaker 1: I wasn't English either. I had to plan to be English.
Speaker 2: Was it was a mess. It's a mess, you gotta
Speaker 2: do it. Yeah, did you ever do a sitcom for
Speaker 2: atlant at time? Not in a length at time? No,
Speaker 2: I did some animated stuff. I was. I was Mile
Speaker 2: Murphy and Mile Murphy's Law, but I was never in
Speaker 2: any kind of live action. Right.
Speaker 1: Okay, so let me ask you this. You're in doing architecture.
Speaker 1: Did you graduate as an architect?
Speaker 2: I did, got my degree. I could design your house tomorrow,
Speaker 2: very very very badly. So if really, yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 2: never knew this, But I don't know why I don't
Speaker 2: know this. I've done you for quite a long time.
Speaker 2: I didn't know you were an architect. Well I'm not.
Speaker 2: I have a degreking an architect. And there's a few
Speaker 2: other steps you have to go through before you didn't
Speaker 2: actually practice? No, you never did, did you do? What
Speaker 2: about you any of your houses that you live in?
Speaker 2: Have you ever designed them? No? What about shoving? Did
Speaker 2: you even divine as shoving? Universal? You know, I will
Speaker 2: say I designed a couple of my bathroom remodels. Okay,
Speaker 2: fair enough.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make your own, you know, it just makes
Speaker 1: you a guy who goes to the bathroom service.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think the.
Speaker 1: Series closets would be nice, Yes, they would be lovely.
Speaker 2: So what happened? You graduate as an architect? But radio
Speaker 2: is what you love? Right? Yeah? I just you know,
Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was going to do when
Speaker 2: I graduated. I didn't think I'd have a career in
Speaker 2: showbiz or anything like that. But I figured, like I graduated,
Speaker 2: I was like, what nineteen twenty and I figured, actually
Speaker 2: my senior year in college, Capital Records put out my
Speaker 2: Bologna because I recorded that in the bathroom across the
Speaker 2: radio station. But yeah, it was. And I still didn't think, like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is when I when I'm going to be doing
Speaker 2: for the next forty years. But I thought, well, you
Speaker 2: know what, I've got a sinkle on Capitol Records. I
Speaker 2: might as well knock on some doors and see if
Speaker 2: I can make anything out of this kooky career thing.
Speaker 2: There wasn't like a plan then. It just kind of
Speaker 2: you followed the hood of the car and it took
Speaker 2: you where it was going. Pretty much. I think that's great.
Speaker 2: You know, I was a found of the Doctor Demanto show,
Speaker 2: and he was giving me a lot of as talked
Speaker 2: to me, adulta dementto because I'm illiterate in the world
Speaker 2: Adulta Demanto, okay, other than what I've seen portrayed fictionally.
Speaker 1: So you have to take me through what eyes because
Speaker 1: it's a real cult thing in LA. Right, you have
Speaker 1: to join a cult to listen to the show. Yes, right,
Speaker 1: Well there's a few cults in LA and I get that,
Speaker 1: but this particular one and it was a real cult favorite, right.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. So yeah, Doctor Demantou whose real name is
Speaker 2: Barry Hanson. He was on kmie T in Los Angeles
Speaker 2: for decades. It is like a local radios. Yes, it's local.
Speaker 2: But his show became so popular that became syndicated nationwide
Speaker 2: and I think maybe around the world a little bit,
Speaker 2: but mostly in North America. But he got famous for
Speaker 2: playing all sorts of comedy and novelty and just weird
Speaker 2: stuff from his personal record club. And he had a huge,
Speaker 2: huge record collection at home. Is if you wherever it
Speaker 2: was house like, you go to his kitchen, open the cupboards.
Speaker 2: They're full of records. They're just records everywhere. Final, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he collects everything now. But he has a huge,
Speaker 2: huge vinyl collection. Is that where you first heard it?
Speaker 2: May have been how I first heard? Is it? Bubby
Speaker 2: Pickett and the Crip Kickers.
Speaker 1: Muster Mash, Yeah, which is still one of my favorite songs. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great song.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, that was a big like our top forty radiohos.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if I heard that on Demento or
Speaker 2: just on khe J or whatever one of the big guns,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I mean that's where I got exposed to
Speaker 2: like Spike Jones and Alan Sherman and Tom Lahra and
Speaker 2: Stan Freeberger and all these these people, and I thought, wow, well, maybe.
Speaker 1: It's a it's a real world though that it was
Speaker 1: kind of a I'm not going to say his niche
Speaker 1: because it's too big for that, but it was. It
Speaker 1: was a world which existed outside of the mainstream, right,
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, and yet when you were the guy
Speaker 1: who kind of brought up mainstream really and yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean you were the you kind of broke out of
Speaker 1: the of the kind of the subterranean, weird record listening
Speaker 1: world to.
Speaker 2: My Bologna was probably the one that did it, right. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was the first one for sure. I mean doctor
Speaker 2: Menel played again all sorts of his personal records, but
Speaker 2: I was one of the few people that was just
Speaker 2: like sending him unsolicited material in the mail and he'd
Speaker 2: play that and and I was it was definitely a
Speaker 2: breakout because it lit up the request lines. As I say,
Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, that's so cute, the request
Speaker 2: lines and all. Isn't that like simpler times? Yes? Yes, times?
Speaker 1: So in the in this world that you read, it
Speaker 1: seems like it was simpler times. How do you approach it?
Speaker 2: No? Do you have like the tickety talk and the
Speaker 2: Instagram and the I got some of that. I'm still
Speaker 2: ostensibly on Twitter, although I haven't really, you know, I
Speaker 2: think Twitter doesn't really exist anymore, does it. I think
Speaker 2: some other is like definitely being declauded for sure. It's
Speaker 2: something's happened to that. So I'm you know, I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm slow quitting or I just
Speaker 2: haven't posted in a while. But I'm theoretically still on Twitter,
Speaker 2: but mostly Instagram. I'm on Blue Sky and I'm on
Speaker 2: a don't know that one. I don't know what about Bengo?
Speaker 2: Do you know that one? Bingo? No, Bengo, It's it's
Speaker 2: a new one. I just like made it up. I
Speaker 2: like it though, Bengo'll sign up? Can you Bingo? Me? Sure? Right?
Speaker 2: And if you get a good one, you let you go.
Speaker 2: It's a Bengo you get and then you do memes
Speaker 2: of Christopher Christopher and Christopher walks. He says it an
Speaker 2: inglorious pasta. It's a Bengal's a Nazi, Nazi bingo everybody.
Speaker 1: So when you're in this world, like you move out
Speaker 1: of this rather kind of sweet, nerdy world of architecture, comedy, songs,
Speaker 1: but then you become kind of a you get drawn
Speaker 1: into the world of rock music, which is slightly less innocent.
Speaker 2: Do you hear the siren call of black tar heroine?
Speaker 2: Not so much. I mean, I mean, I don't know
Speaker 2: if it's my reputation preceding me, but it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't think I ever really got like offered drugs on
Speaker 2: the road or a party even offered you drugs. No
Speaker 2: so rude yet that is I feel bad. If I'd
Speaker 2: have been around then I would certainly have offered some.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that. That's shocking. I'm my fellow for me drugs,
Speaker 2: so I can be offended and say no.
Speaker 3: Margaret Dumont Brothers movies, So you were walking around dressed
Speaker 3: as Margaret Dumont with a big dress on, and it
Speaker 3: never called to you that that wellness or were you
Speaker 3: scared of it or were you doing drugs?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Just the kind of because it was a particularly wild
Speaker 1: and kind of debauched era of rock, wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess, I mean, it depends what what circus
Speaker 2: you're traveling. I mean, I guess you know. I did
Speaker 2: promise my parents that I wouldn't do drugs, so I didn't.
Speaker 2: We all did that, Yeah, But I mean, and I
Speaker 2: mostly I think I was just afraid that drugs would
Speaker 2: turn me normal and I couldn't have it would be
Speaker 2: back for my career. Have it like a reverse yeah thing,
Speaker 2: reverse wed all. So that's the thing you can have
Speaker 2: that I've found out on the internet. I've had a
Speaker 2: reverse weirdo. You would not like it. Oh, I on
Speaker 2: the other hand, loved it. Oh that makes it the
Speaker 2: reverse weird. So let me ask you this.
Speaker 1: You started playing the accordion when you were a kid, right,
Speaker 1: because you just like the accordions. I got to tell you,
Speaker 1: by the way, when you were at my house in Scotland,
Speaker 1: remember we found that old accordion.
Speaker 2: You your basement, basement base. What we call it the crypt, right,
Speaker 2: We don't just call it the crypt, it's a crypt, yes, right.
Speaker 1: So we found that old accordion down there, which I
Speaker 1: thought was amazing. It was like two days before you
Speaker 1: arrived and then you were looking at this order, which
Speaker 1: I still have that I think.
Speaker 2: It's it's kind of dad, this accordion. But have you
Speaker 2: ever practicing? No, no, I gotta be honest, I don't.
Speaker 2: I dram but the ghosts play the accordion. Ah. But
Speaker 2: the thing is about it. I don't know if I
Speaker 2: ever told you this.
Speaker 1: The night we had a little kley, a little Scottish
Speaker 1: dance in the house and the accordion and fiddle player
Speaker 1: were there. When you came in and played the accordion
Speaker 1: with those guys, it was like Elvis had arrived.
Speaker 2: They were so they were like, wait, what if that's
Speaker 2: fucking weird? Now, what the fuck is happening?
Speaker 3: Because in this it's going and they play Accordions album,
Speaker 3: so they know who you are, and they're they're like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, It's like it was so fucking weird.
Speaker 2: And they were just I just got to say, you
Speaker 2: made their entire year. They were very great and it
Speaker 2: was pretty good. You were in your your fingers were walking.
Speaker 2: I can I can figure pretty well, yeah you can.
Speaker 2: And that's part of the reverse weird there you believe
Speaker 2: there you go. So when you're in this world of
Speaker 2: you kind of comedy songs, this is kind of a
Speaker 2: niche world. I could be honest with you. Comedy songs
Speaker 2: never really did it for me until I listened to you.
Speaker 2: I don't really, I don't really who are you listening before?
Speaker 1: When I think about it, I think, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've ever heard any comedy songs it said for you?
Speaker 1: I mean, like really, so I guess somebody doesn't mean
Speaker 1: they just haven't. I haven't remembered Anny well so well
Speaker 1: you so like in Scotland, who would have been the
Speaker 1: comedy songs? Well, anyone in the UK? Oh you know
Speaker 1: what Neil Ennis? Okay, yeah, Neil Ennis was. It was
Speaker 1: a goddamn genius. Oh yes, love love Neil He did
Speaker 1: you know?
Speaker 2: Not? Well? I went to see him a McCabe's guitar, shappy.
Speaker 2: I went with the emflso went to see him performance.
Speaker 2: I got to hang out with them for a little bit.
Speaker 2: So I didn't really know him knowing, but we've always
Speaker 2: been a huge fan before spinal tap.
Speaker 1: He and Eric Idol did the Ruttles, which was a
Speaker 1: Beatles PASTI perfect, which.
Speaker 2: Was amazing, amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really I still listened to it. I must tell
Speaker 1: Eric this, I still listened to the Ruttles. It's just
Speaker 1: like listening to it. Yeah, it's just like Beatles songs
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, they are like Beatles songs. It's like
Speaker 1: finding new Beatles songs from different Is this amazing? That
Speaker 1: cheese and say cheese and onion. Every every time I
Speaker 1: have something with cheese and onions, I start singing ruddles of.
Speaker 2: Mine guys buys and that's a nice cheason c O N.
Speaker 2: I don't spell out e easy A d Oh my god.
Speaker 2: It's great stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I always thought my rule forever doing comedy. If
Speaker 1: I was ever gonna parody something, I always thought, you
Speaker 1: have to be at least as good as what you're parodying,
Speaker 1: or you're gonna be You're gonna look like an idiot.
Speaker 2: Right? Is that something that we try? We try, you know,
Speaker 2: we try to copy it. You know, I've had the
Speaker 2: same band for over forty years and they're all amazing musicians.
Speaker 2: It's kind of I probably shouldn't say this, but sometimes
Speaker 2: when we're like doing like a uh, you know, a
Speaker 2: parody and we're trying to copy the original track, sometimes
Speaker 2: my drummer will say, do you want me to play
Speaker 2: it exactly like they played it? Or or or correctly? Yeah? Better?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's interesting. So you do that, you know,
Speaker 1: when you do these songs, but on tour, you do
Speaker 1: do a whole set.
Speaker 2: Which is no party songs. Right, well, we did. We
Speaker 2: did that for two tours. We did the ridiculously ill
Speaker 2: advised Vanity Tour and then the unfortunate return of the
Speaker 2: Ridiculous Vanity Tour, and that was that was most mostly
Speaker 2: for the hardcore fans, because we didn't do really any
Speaker 2: parodies and it didn't have any props or costumes. It
Speaker 2: was just very, you know, low key and kind of intimate.
Speaker 2: But I love doing that because we had to just
Speaker 2: be musicians and not put on this big, you know
Speaker 2: show and do all the you know, all the B
Speaker 2: sides and all the deep cuts. And that was I
Speaker 2: love doing that, and the band loved doing that. And
Speaker 2: for the people that showed up again, we're doing smaller theaters,
Speaker 2: but they were so excited to hear some like random
Speaker 2: Obscure track from the fourth album that they never thought
Speaker 2: they ever hear live.
Speaker 1: Well, but with that it was recently like in the
Speaker 1: last like four or five years, you got like a
Speaker 1: big Grammy win. Remember, I'm sure you do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah? Was that for parody songs or was that for
Speaker 2: the last Grammy? I actually was as an art director,
Speaker 2: oddly enough, because I had a box set. It was
Speaker 2: like my entire catalog, but it was boxed in a
Speaker 2: replica of my accordion. It was this is architecture right here,
Speaker 2: this is this is we've come. This is the reach
Speaker 2: of the show, reach around the reverse weird al, That's
Speaker 2: what I'm saying. This is like that, So the architecture
Speaker 2: actually comes into play. Yeah, I mean there's some design
Speaker 2: that I guess I kind of leaned from our from college.
Speaker 2: You know, the whole four years were in a complete waste.
Speaker 2: No no, no, I can till print very neatly. And
Speaker 2: also you you want to grab me for designing a
Speaker 2: building made of records, let's just call it that. Okay,
Speaker 2: let's call it that. Now. You mentioned the name of
Speaker 2: a comedian, and I want to talk to you about him,
Speaker 2: because he's a very very interesting comedian, a gentleman by
Speaker 2: the name of Emo film.
Speaker 1: Yes, and you and friends right now, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think i've ever met Emo. You haven't, no,
Speaker 1: but I remember seeing him my first ever te u
Speaker 1: to the United States. Well, actually it wasn't even to
Speaker 1: the United States. My first trip to Just for Last
Speaker 1: Festivals at festival in Montreal in nineteen eighty seven, and
Speaker 1: I got to see Emo and Judy Tanuda the rest there,
Speaker 1: and they were crazy different. They were very different to
Speaker 1: anything else that was going on. Yeah, how did you
Speaker 1: guys up? I assume you mean, how do we meet?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well we heard I'll stop it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: We we kind of bumping into each other since, you know,
Speaker 2: the early eighties, because we were both eighties weirdos, and
Speaker 2: of course, you know, our paths are going to intersect.
Speaker 2: I don't know, we just we were mutual fans and
Speaker 2: we just, uh, you know, wound up hanging out together
Speaker 2: with you and stuff like that. Well, for the two
Speaker 2: band Aid tours he did, so he's done over over
Speaker 2: two hundred shows with me. Is he a musician? No,
Speaker 2: he does does the Yeah, I think does he still
Speaker 2: do that? Yeah? Probably, It's very interesting. No, he's he's
Speaker 2: like the funniest guy in the world. He's just you
Speaker 2: should have him on the show sometimes because I was funny.
Speaker 1: So I here's what I think that and then correct
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. But sometimes when someone has a
Speaker 1: very recognizable character that they do on stage, because unless
Speaker 1: does ema, Philip spoke around talking to that all the time.
Speaker 2: No, I mean, you know, it's it's like you can
Speaker 2: hear that in his voice a little bit, but it's
Speaker 2: an exactly And I think he's very concerned about his
Speaker 2: public persona because he's one of those people that kind
Speaker 2: of hopes the people think he liked that all the time,
Speaker 2: you know, because he's very much into like presenting an image.
Speaker 2: In fact, he was kind of giving me advice, like
Speaker 2: back in ninety eight ninety nine, back when I you know,
Speaker 2: I had my look change where he shaved out the
Speaker 2: mustache but he got super handsome. But he was like
Speaker 2: very concerned. He was like he was like, you wanted
Speaker 2: me to do the do the Drew carry things like,
Speaker 2: you know, people want to see the iconic image, they
Speaker 2: want to see the mustache and glasses. And I think
Speaker 2: he was trying to talk to me and to just
Speaker 2: like always wearing fake glasses and I kind of wanted
Speaker 2: to keep it real. And it's it's an interesting and
Speaker 2: it's a fair point.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you look at you know, the Homer
Speaker 1: Simpson silhouet or something like that, if you create something
Speaker 1: like that.
Speaker 2: He kept bringing up grouch like Groutcher always had the mustache,
Speaker 2: you know, until he did the Game Show? Didn't he
Speaker 2: still you think he still for that? Didn't he did?
Speaker 2: He did he paint on the mustache for the Game
Speaker 2: show either, I don't know he was painting it on
Speaker 2: for the longest time, but he did definitely had a
Speaker 2: mustache for the Game Show. Were you Find in the Musk? Sure?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? I loved that. Yeah? What's that movie?
Speaker 2: I think it might be Horse Feathers? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Is the one where they have the horse? Might be
Speaker 2: they have the horse in the Dental wond where they
Speaker 2: had the duck soup? Which one was that? I think
Speaker 2: that's duck soup? And when they went to that opera
Speaker 2: at night? What was that one called the Races?
Speaker 1: But I was, as you the anarchy of that, the
Speaker 1: kind of terrifying out of controllness. It's interesting because when
Speaker 1: I was a kid, I'm going I really didn't like.
Speaker 2: The cat in the Hat. I didn't like it.
Speaker 1: Did because the cat and the hat used to come
Speaker 1: to the house and he would do all these naughty things,
Speaker 1: and the parents were out, and I'm like, it's just horrifying.
Speaker 2: Is that the home invasion? Yes, this weird fucking cat's
Speaker 2: gone in the house with a hat on and he's
Speaker 2: getting the kids to do bad things. This guy's evil.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But at the same time, I love the March
Speaker 1: Brothers and that sense of anarchy.
Speaker 2: I think their charm was much more acceptable to me
Speaker 2: as a five year old. Now they're they're making fun
Speaker 2: of Margaret Dumont. They're not making fun of two little
Speaker 2: innocent kids alone in their house. That's it. Uh huh,
Speaker 2: that's it.
Speaker 1: They're making fun of the adult figure, not the cat figure.
Speaker 1: You're right, Oh, thanks, he sure.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but I'm looking at I look at
Speaker 2: this as therapy. Yeah, well, I think that you're very
Speaker 2: good at it. I think here's what I think.
Speaker 1: Screwba Emo says, Okay, get a pipe tweet jacket. I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of a vague whiff of an Austrian accent, and
Speaker 1: become a therapist when you're not on the road.
Speaker 2: Oh can I get one of those jackets with packers
Speaker 2: on the elbows?
Speaker 1: I would almost insist on it, okay, and then lie down,
Speaker 1: or you can go and drag and be like.
Speaker 2: Lorraine Bracco and the sopranos. Oh that's also very nice. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've have you ever had therapy? No?
Speaker 1: Oh, man, it's awesome. I had a therapist too. Used
Speaker 1: to wear she was fantastic. Used to wear all the
Speaker 1: same clothes the same color. Like she would wear green shoes,
Speaker 1: green tights, a green skirt of green bluuse, and she
Speaker 1: would wear green eyes shadow and like if it was
Speaker 1: green that day or and I think it.
Speaker 2: Was of like a big green screen or something. It
Speaker 2: might it was chroma ky. I was pretty bad chroma
Speaker 2: key nice. I was in a bad shape then, So
Speaker 2: maybe that was maybe it never happened at all. Did
Speaker 2: she look I just disembodied eyes looking at you. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was I think about I'm having a flashback. So
Speaker 2: you're going along and you're being weird. Al And then
Speaker 2: what wammed in the nineties that caused the change? Was
Speaker 2: there any kind of personal thing change for what well,
Speaker 2: they're taking the glasses off. Well, it was just it
Speaker 2: was just you know, at that point, the technology and
Speaker 2: sign and medicine had gotten to the point where it
Speaker 2: felt like I wasn't taking my life into my hands
Speaker 2: by letting somebody like shoot lasers in the eyeball. And
Speaker 2: I thought, you know, if I can like see you know,
Speaker 2: I had lasers as well in the nineties. By the way,
Speaker 2: it did you run about that time? Yeah? Did you
Speaker 2: get it again? No? That they I think they kind
Speaker 2: of said you could get it again, but it's you know,
Speaker 2: maybe a little bit more dangerous the second time around.
Speaker 2: Oh I don't want to hear that. Yeah, I'll never
Speaker 2: getting done. So I still I still wear glasses sometimes
Speaker 2: when I want to, uh see distances because my eyes
Speaker 2: continued to change since like, yeah, mine too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I also as a disguise, do you wear
Speaker 1: glasses with maybe I nose in a mustacheized I'm.
Speaker 2: Wearing one right now.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's Emo Phillips. So the idea then,
Speaker 1: was it so I wanted to find that was there
Speaker 1: a creative decision?
Speaker 2: Was that? Was that when you met Suzanne? Is that
Speaker 2: it was something that happened then what I didn't do
Speaker 2: it specifically to meet Suzanne, but uh it worked out
Speaker 2: that way, right, you got rid of the glass. This
Speaker 2: is a very quickly like all of a sudden, women
Speaker 2: are like, who's this? I see like He's like, why hell,
Speaker 2: you're beautiful? Before I thought you were a Clark Kemp,
Speaker 2: but you're really superman. Yeah, I got How did you
Speaker 2: guys meet? I know? She told me, I'm gonna is
Speaker 2: this true? It was a plain day. It was correct, right, Okay,
Speaker 2: so you know, shut you up. Do you know Billy Moomey? Uh?
Speaker 2: He played he he was like the biggest child actor
Speaker 2: when I was a child. He played a little Will
Speaker 2: Robinson on Lost in Space. Of course I know who
Speaker 2: it is, and I would give you this whole IMDb,
Speaker 2: but look him up. But you know, he was and
Speaker 2: I've been fans of his for a long time. And
Speaker 2: he was half of Barnes and Barns, who did fish Heads.
Speaker 2: Do you know that song shed Lovely Lovely fish Heads
Speaker 2: shed Sheds? Eat him up? Yeah, that's it. So I
Speaker 2: met him on the Doctor Demento show because he was
Speaker 2: a you know, Demento yang. But he never introduced himself
Speaker 2: as Bill Moomy. He was always Art Barns like Art
Speaker 2: and already Barnes, And I'm gullible. I believed I didn't
Speaker 2: recognize him from like being a kid.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, I gotta stub you
Speaker 1: Emo Phillips. Emo Phillips's real name.
Speaker 2: I don't I feel like i'd be talking out of
Speaker 2: school to answer that question.
Speaker 1: All right, all right, fair enough, okay, all right, So
Speaker 1: you you know this Will Robinson danger Will Robinson Art Barnes.
Speaker 2: So, so he invites me to his house. I met
Speaker 2: his house on the Hollywood Hills. I forget we're recording
Speaker 2: something or hanging out or whatever, and I notice all
Speaker 2: this like Lost in Space memorabile around the house, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, again, I'm so stupid. I'm like, this guy
Speaker 2: is super into Lost the Gosh, a big fan. He's
Speaker 2: got all these Brilly movie movie posters on the wall. Man,
Speaker 2: this guy's a freak one, like a super fan, like obsessed.
Speaker 2: And then finally, after a long time, I figured out, oh,
Speaker 2: this is Bill Mooney.
Speaker 1: So he introduces you. He says, you have a blain
Speaker 1: date and he and he.
Speaker 2: Actually had been setting me up on blind dates before
Speaker 2: and setting Susanna up on blind dates, and they were
Speaker 2: they didn't really work out, obviously, but he he called
Speaker 2: me up one day and said, I'm gonna set you
Speaker 2: up on this date with this woman who works at
Speaker 2: twenty century Fox. You have to marry her. She's super clever, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean it's like she's intimidatingly cool clever. Yeah, she's
Speaker 2: got that kind of Annie Lebowitz vibe, you know, that
Speaker 2: kind of here you know what I mean, like kind
Speaker 2: of scary photography, clever, like sees the world slightly more
Speaker 2: than you do. That's boyd. So I was saying like, yeah,
Speaker 2: they're a little different. Yeah, but the but she she is,
Speaker 2: she's like she's super smart, super clever woman. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: she's she's the whole package. Yeah, she is. I waited
Speaker 2: a long time to find her, did you. Well, here
Speaker 2: here's he here's the thing. You know, it was actually
Speaker 2: really romantic because this is this is in the days
Speaker 2: before social media as we know today. I didn't have
Speaker 2: a picture of her. I didn't have an idea what
Speaker 2: she looked like. And we didn't have time to go
Speaker 2: out on a date for a few weeks because I
Speaker 2: was just about to put out a new album. She
Speaker 2: was working over time at her at her you know,
Speaker 2: at twenty century Fox, right, and we just couldn't find
Speaker 2: it time to get together. But we had time late
Speaker 2: at night. She would have these phone calls in the
Speaker 2: middle of the night. That isn't this a movie with
Speaker 2: Tom Hanks and Megan It sounds like it should be material.
Speaker 1: You know, Look it's not too late. Yeah, they're Tom
Speaker 1: and Megan are both are both working.
Speaker 2: Tom makes you get back together for the weird I'll start.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna call it Susanna now. Oh I like that better, Yeah,
Speaker 2: Susanna now or do you guys have a have a
Speaker 2: mix up name, like, you know, the hyphen at the portmanteau.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so sal I guess Sue Suzel or Alcus or alsas.
Speaker 2: The Yanko Vics. Oh yeah, that'll work. Yeah, yeah, it's
Speaker 2: a little bit patriarchal, but I'll take it. What is
Speaker 2: that is that Polish? Yankovick is? What is it Yugoslavian
Speaker 2: back when that was a country.
Speaker 1: All right, So you have to break it down though, man,
Speaker 1: because the Yugoslavic, because yugoslavin that.
Speaker 2: Was just like a construct after that. Yeah, I think,
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not a percent sure, but I think
Speaker 2: I'm Slovenian like me and Millennia.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I get that. You look a bit like
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. Yeah, did you do the Whiteose
Speaker 1: correspondence thing or no political things.
Speaker 2: I would not have to do that. I think they
Speaker 2: can use some accordion there. I think I feel like.
Speaker 1: That would be a good bet, because you're pretty good
Speaker 1: at like straddling the line of you know, not getting
Speaker 1: to political.
Speaker 2: Or I could just like be playing like mood music
Speaker 2: behind the president's speech, you know, just a little a
Speaker 2: little bit of accordion. Yeah, look, don't take this wrong way, buddy.
Speaker 2: But they might think it's a little French. Oh you know,
Speaker 2: are we still doing the French thing? Freedom fries deal?
Speaker 2: Freedom fries? Do you know? Once I was I swear
Speaker 2: this is true. I was in a diner and I
Speaker 2: think it was Arkansas. I was on the road. You
Speaker 2: know sometimes you just.
Speaker 1: When you're on the road, you're like, I can't take
Speaker 1: another you know, fucking Starbucks or you know, we got
Speaker 1: to go to somewhere else and we went to this diner.
Speaker 1: It was during all the freedom Fries thing. And I
Speaker 1: go to the bathroom and there were contraceptives and sex toys.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, they were they were in my pocket.
Speaker 2: There was you know, one of those vending machines that
Speaker 2: sells contraceptives and little sex toys, and they'd scored, they scored.
Speaker 2: I have to say, as bad as my life go,
Speaker 2: I never bought a sex toy in a public bathroom
Speaker 2: from a vending machine yet. Yeah, say just for show,
Speaker 2: not for go.
Speaker 1: But but they had French ticklers. Yes, but they had
Speaker 1: taken out friend. They'd called them freedom ticklers.
Speaker 2: That's the best, freedom tickler, that's the best. We want
Speaker 2: a little freedom tickler. Look, I don't want to do this,
Speaker 2: but it's for a miracle. That's great. It was fantastic.
Speaker 2: So use Zan. You can't get it together, well, you
Speaker 2: can get it together obviously because you have child, but
Speaker 2: you can't meet each other because you're so busy in
Speaker 2: your hectic show business life. So we basically fell in
Speaker 2: love over the phone. Is that true? Yeah? Pretty? I mean,
Speaker 2: because I remember thinking like, I kind of hope she's
Speaker 2: I mean, I would marry her if she's homely, but
Speaker 2: I kind of hope she's cute because I'm going to
Speaker 2: marry this person. So I never saw her face until
Speaker 2: I opened the door to her first day.
Speaker 1: That's fantastic and kind of beautiful, and I feel like
Speaker 1: it's probably a show and isn't that like love at
Speaker 1: first say?
Speaker 2: Or you know, Naked Attraction one of those we were
Speaker 2: the first reality show. If you ever seen that show,
Speaker 2: Naked Attraction, No, I got no, you should know. It's
Speaker 2: a show in Channel four in the UK, right, which
Speaker 2: is kind of like it's very bad. But in this
Speaker 2: show is Naked Attraction. What they do is they have
Speaker 2: these screens.
Speaker 1: It's Breton, so yeah, they don't care a buty and
Speaker 1: they have these screens and they started the bumps the
Speaker 1: person who's choosing a partner.
Speaker 2: These curtains come up and you see their.
Speaker 1: Feet and then their knees and then their legs, and
Speaker 1: you think it's going to be negative, and then the
Speaker 1: curtain keeps going and you see they're junk, male or female.
Speaker 1: You see and like harsh lighting, real people, junk, not
Speaker 1: Hollywood airbrush junk, like like shockingly unpleasant.
Speaker 2: This is a real thing.
Speaker 1: It's a real thing, and it keeps going and it's
Speaker 1: not testillating at all.
Speaker 2: It's awful.
Speaker 1: No, And but I caught my youngest son watching it
Speaker 1: with his buddy and like ten year old boys and
Speaker 1: they and I was like, what hell were you doing?
Speaker 2: And they were trauverized, like, oh my god, this is horrible.
Speaker 2: I was like, watch it all you Like I remember
Speaker 2: back in the day, like when I was a teenager,
Speaker 2: you couldn't find like naked people on TV. It was
Speaker 2: like a big deal to There was like some show
Speaker 2: on PBS, I think steam Bath or something like that
Speaker 2: nice and it was like, oh, there's a shot of
Speaker 2: a woman, this shower's naked. And every single teenage boy
Speaker 2: in my whole high school like watching PBS just tecasting
Speaker 2: to see a naked lady. I remember, we used to
Speaker 2: for some reason, they're used to.
Speaker 1: Why In Scotland and I was a kid, you would
Speaker 1: sometimes find torn up pieces of pornographic magazines in the street.
Speaker 2: Oh rude, the whole thing. Pay forward occasionally s he's
Speaker 2: a ripped picture of some Yeah, oh that's more traumatic.
Speaker 2: Like then, you can only get excited when you see
Speaker 2: ripped up women. You don't want to you don't want that.
Speaker 2: That's very dark, bad, that's very dark.
Speaker 1: So you meet Susanne at the first that you opened
Speaker 1: the door she comes to your house, is up.
Speaker 2: I went to her place, all right.
Speaker 1: So she opens the door and you're like, oh sweet,
Speaker 1: she's gorgeous. I'm ready in love with her, so long
Speaker 1: until you get married?
Speaker 2: Ah, one of that. That was ninety nine or so.
Speaker 2: I think it was. We met sometime in I think
Speaker 2: July ninety nine. We got married February two thousand and one,
Speaker 2: so you know, year and a half. Yeah. Yeah, Now
Speaker 2: let me ask you this then.
Speaker 1: Was this before you had done the Hatfield Metallica immage
Speaker 1: change or AFT?
Speaker 2: It was right after? She I mean what I say? Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was a plan apparently, folksy al yan Kevig appears
Speaker 2: on the door. I get it. Yeah. And she didn't,
Speaker 2: you know originally when when Bill Moomy pitched her on
Speaker 2: the idea of going out with me, she was like,
Speaker 2: I don't you weird? Al, I don't know. And but
Speaker 2: she gave me the benefit of the dout because she said, well,
Speaker 2: maybe he's not like that all the time, but you're awesome.
Speaker 2: I think that's now we have a mutual friend. And
Speaker 2: who introduced us, I guess socially is Tom Less. Tom
Speaker 2: has been a huge He's Tom again, one of those
Speaker 2: in Britain they would call him eccentrics. It's like you Emo,
Speaker 2: Tom Tom.
Speaker 1: Extremely gifted performers who march to the beat of their
Speaker 1: own drum. Yes, And I wonder if that kind of
Speaker 1: thing is encouraged by social media, if there's more of that,
Speaker 1: or if there's less of it because people are frightened
Speaker 1: of stepping outside the orthodoxy because you can get a
Speaker 1: lot of trouble.
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, I don't, you know, I think weirdness is
Speaker 2: kind of encouraged on social media. People try to stand out,
Speaker 2: and as long as you don't do anything deemed cancelable,
Speaker 2: I think, you know, I think.
Speaker 1: It changes every I mean, look, I try to be
Speaker 1: cognizant of that, try to be respectful that manners change,
Speaker 1: but it seems like they changed very quickly, and there's
Speaker 1: not really a consensus on what's canceled and was not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, apart from the obvious, but the you know,
Speaker 2: I don't do you ever think about it? Do you
Speaker 2: ever worry about it? Yeah? Well, yeah, I mean, you know,
Speaker 2: I've been releasing records, you know, since the late seventies,
Speaker 2: so some of the you know, I obviously tried not
Speaker 2: to be offensive or do anything that I thought that
Speaker 2: would come back to haunt me later. But there's there's
Speaker 2: some languages, some words that I used in the eighties
Speaker 2: and nineties, which you know are now considered slurs or offensive.
Speaker 2: So you know, in fact, there's one song that I
Speaker 2: did on this last tour which had had an offensive
Speaker 2: word in it, and I sang the word, and then
Speaker 2: the whole band stops, and I have to explain, like
Speaker 2: I wrote this on the nineties, I didn't mean any
Speaker 2: offense by it. Language is a fluid thing. But you know,
Speaker 2: can you can you give me I don't I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna ask to say the word, but can you let
Speaker 2: me give me a clues to what the word is
Speaker 2: or what it pertains. I'll say it because I say
Speaker 2: it is hermaphrodite. Is that a slur? Well it is apparently,
Speaker 2: you know I thought it was a medical Well, that's exactly,
Speaker 2: and that's exactly how I explained it, you know, in
Speaker 2: my apology that you know, when I wrote it in
Speaker 2: the nineties, I thought, okay, this is a technical medical term,
Speaker 2: and this is you know, the person in my hypothetical
Speaker 2: story happens to be one, right, And apparently that word
Speaker 2: is considered a slur nowadays, which.
Speaker 1: Obviously, I'll be honest, it's not a word I use often. No, No,
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, and you know, I can see the
Speaker 1: why you would use it because it's clearly it writes
Speaker 1: with stuff.
Speaker 2: And and you know, because language changes. I mean, even
Speaker 2: the word lame, uh, you know, which is in common usage.
Speaker 2: And you know, I haven't stopped saying that, but I
Speaker 2: mean the point has been made like, oh, that's an
Speaker 2: ablest term, Like okay, I can see that, but still
Speaker 2: it's it's such a common and and there's there's another
Speaker 2: word that I used and I won't say this word,
Speaker 2: but it's a word that both Beyonce and Lizzo got
Speaker 2: trouble for. It rhymes with plastic, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean and begins with an sp oh gosh, yeah, right, okay. So,
Speaker 2: and you know, in North America that's just considered like
Speaker 2: a goofy, you know, yes, kind of person. But in
Speaker 2: other parts of the world it's considered a horrible slur.
Speaker 1: Well, you know what's interesting is that the words you're
Speaker 1: the word you're talking about. When I was a kid
Speaker 1: growing up, it was used two in medical terms to
Speaker 1: describe or like you. If someone was going to a
Speaker 1: school for people that suffered from disabilities or had disabilities,
Speaker 1: they would be called that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they would they would be on the sign
Speaker 2: in the school. Yeah. And it's not that I have
Speaker 2: any objection to language change, and it does change, but
Speaker 2: I think, for I feel like.
Speaker 1: There is a great deal of legitimacy in the changing
Speaker 1: of the language. But I also feel there's a lot
Speaker 1: of people out there on the balls of their feet
Speaker 1: just waiting to be offended when there's no genuine harm
Speaker 1: meant by it. And I think that that's counterproductive to
Speaker 1: making a society more inclusive and less oppressive to people
Speaker 1: who aren't having it as easy as as the rest
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean so I try my best. I you know, again,
Speaker 2: I'm trying very hard not to offend. But there's boundaries,
Speaker 2: and there's there's a lot I don't think. I don't
Speaker 2: think it's possible to do comedy and not offense, because
Speaker 2: you really think that, I really do. I thought, I
Speaker 2: don't mean that you have to be offensive. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: mean that, Well, somebody's always going to find something exactly
Speaker 2: That's what I mean. I don't think you have to. Look,
Speaker 2: I've become more and more I used to like.
Speaker 1: Be really you know, the F word and the act
Speaker 1: and all that kind of stuff, And I was quite
Speaker 1: raw and harsh stuff.
Speaker 2: And that was the way that I came out.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I was a comedian going on between
Speaker 1: punk rock acts in the late nineteen seventies early nineteen eighties.
Speaker 2: It was appropriate for the time. But now if I
Speaker 2: go out and pretend to be angry about things like
Speaker 2: I'm not angry, I'm a little chubby, you've got an
Speaker 2: his car, you know that, I agree. Well, that's the thing.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe I don't know if you had the
Speaker 2: same kind of experience, but I found that I'm sometimes
Speaker 2: reluctant to do anything ironic on social media because no
Speaker 2: matter how obvious it is that you're making a joke
Speaker 2: and you're known, you know, as a you know, somebody
Speaker 2: who makes jokes for a living, there's gonna be a
Speaker 2: certain percentage of the people reading that going, oh, he
Speaker 2: really does that, he really is serious about that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's an interesting thing.
Speaker 1: I the example I used I wrote a book a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago, and in it I was writing
Speaker 1: about my sexual awakening and the phrase I used to
Speaker 1: describe the first inklings of sexual awakening was all women
Speaker 1: in Scotland were called margaret before nineteen seventy four. Now
Speaker 1: what I meant by that, the literally reconstruct there is
Speaker 1: everything was just my anti Margaret. And then when you
Speaker 1: start going into puberty, suddenly no, all women are your
Speaker 1: anti Margaret and there you know, and things are different.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean all women in we're called Margaret. Very
Speaker 1: few women in Scotland are called migrants at any given time. Like, actually, well,
Speaker 1: I left the light in the book, but somebody did
Speaker 1: say to me during the editing process, no, that's not true,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, it's it's it's slanguage, it's weird,
Speaker 1: it's a I don't know if I struggle with the
Speaker 1: idea of taking everybody else's opinion into what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I don't want to offend people. I know you don't.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I kind of like Ricky
Speaker 1: Serves is a very nice line about it. It's just like, look,
Speaker 1: just because you're offended, it doesn't mean you're right. It
Speaker 1: just means you're offended, you know. And I think that's
Speaker 1: the bottom line of it, that I don't want to
Speaker 1: offend you. But if you are offending, I think might
Speaker 1: actually like.
Speaker 2: To offend people. Oh no, he loves he yeah, ye,
Speaker 2: but but that's do you know, no, not personally.
Speaker 1: He's it's funny. He's the sweetest guy. Yeah, it's the
Speaker 1: strangest thing because he has that. Did you ever meet
Speaker 1: Don Rickles? No, no, almost saying Rickles. I became friendly
Speaker 1: with Wreckles and he was very very sweet, like an
Speaker 1: old grandpa and very nice. Oh yeah, famously right, And
Speaker 1: and of course his act was extremely abrasive and they
Speaker 1: would set on fire for it.
Speaker 2: Now, I mean, it's it's just terrible. It would not fair,
Speaker 2: you know what, and rightly, so you have to move
Speaker 2: on for that. But but he is a man would
Speaker 2: be horrified if he thought he was hurting someone's feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and it's you don't set out to hurt someone's feelings.
Speaker 2: And if you can avoid it and do comedy, I
Speaker 2: think that's great. But I honestly think I don't think
Speaker 2: you can, Like he don't go to a roast and
Speaker 2: then going they yeah, they were mean to have you
Speaker 2: ever been roasted? Uh No, I don't think so. But
Speaker 2: then he's young, it's.
Speaker 1: Got to be common, it's going to be coming. I
Speaker 1: never really understood that to be the whole concept of roast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't like this. I mean honestly, I don't.
Speaker 2: It's like I asked to do a couple like they
Speaker 2: asked me to do Bob Socket's roast. Huh. And I
Speaker 2: loved Bob. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like no, and Bob was like, now you
Speaker 1: come and you say these mean things about you know, Bob,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it. Yeah, I love you, Bob,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do it. It's like it's joking.
Speaker 1: I went, no, Bob, it's it's mean.
Speaker 2: I'm not doing it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, sometimes I think you're a dick, but
Speaker 1: no one else needs to say that. Did you know
Speaker 1: Bob a couple of times? Yeah, he's a sweet man.
Speaker 2: Yeah. It was again someone who was very different to
Speaker 2: his act. Yeah. I was reading recently that Chevy Chase
Speaker 2: was really upset after his roast because he really thought
Speaker 2: they weren't joking. Well, you know, with his reputation, I
Speaker 2: think maybe they weren't joking. I don't. I don't know
Speaker 2: if they were or they weren't. But it's a strange thing.
Speaker 2: So what's going on with you? Now? What's happening? Things
Speaker 2: are slow and I'm not touring probably for at least
Speaker 2: another year year and a half. Just kind of letting
Speaker 2: the ground lay fallow for a bit. So years of
Speaker 2: plenty seven years of famine. Yeah, so so next year
Speaker 2: actually was a huge question mark. I'm not sure it's
Speaker 2: gonna come to Scotland. Hang out for Maybelle. I know
Speaker 2: you got a new castle, got to check it out.
Speaker 2: But it's not a newcastle. It's new to me, new
Speaker 2: to you. Yeah, that's the main thing. Yeah. And also
Speaker 2: there is this myth I live in a castle. It's
Speaker 2: it's not a castle. It's a house that looks a
Speaker 2: bit like huge and made out of stone. It's got
Speaker 2: a motor around. Well yeah, but look these are these
Speaker 2: are taken a castle. Yes, you're an architect famously, So
Speaker 2: I didn't you know, I didn't realize that. Not a condo.
Speaker 2: Come on, it's not a condo. You don't live in
Speaker 2: a condo either. No. See, it's your big union guy.
Speaker 2: I believe in it. I believe in it. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: just think. Yeah, I mean I support the unions. I'm
Speaker 2: in several of them, and yeah, absolutely how many of you?
Speaker 1: I mean w G A and DGA, isn't you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and Musicians Union as well. Yeah, yeah, they're a great union.
Speaker 1: The Yeah they like saved you guys, do.
Speaker 2: You remember maybe it was different for you. I remember
Speaker 2: auditioning to get you had the audition to get in
Speaker 2: the Musicians Union. No, that was the for me. It
Speaker 2: was equity, British Actors equity.
Speaker 1: You had to It was so hard to get in
Speaker 1: that you had to the only reason I started doing
Speaker 1: stand up because you had to have some.
Speaker 2: Gigs that where you were a performer. But you couldn't
Speaker 2: get gigs unless you remember a British Actors ecage, okay,
Speaker 2: So the only thing that was open was you could
Speaker 2: maybe get a couple of gigs as a stand up
Speaker 2: in a nightclub or something like that.
Speaker 1: Then you had to take a long of the union office.
Speaker 1: If you got three, they would let you in the Union.
Speaker 2: I got I got two and they overpay a TV show,
Speaker 2: so I had to join the Union in Scotland. But
Speaker 2: it was it was different back then, though. I guess
Speaker 2: did you what did you? Did? You play? The according? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And I have it just the biggest memory of this.
Speaker 2: But I mean in the early eighties when I first
Speaker 2: joined the Musicians Unit. I have a memory of coming
Speaker 2: into the Union offices and all these people with instruments
Speaker 2: and they had to like play like thirty seconds the
Speaker 2: proof well oh you are a guitar player, Oh you
Speaker 2: are or whatever. And I just remember the one guy
Speaker 2: that was a drummer and he just came in, didn't
Speaker 2: have anything with him, and they said just slop on
Speaker 2: your knees and he did like a little okay, you're
Speaker 2: a drummer. Great, okay, sign the papers. You know what,
Speaker 2: if he was a real drummer, he'd have been doing
Speaker 2: that on the way in. They never stop, never stop.
Speaker 2: I still have a drum kit. Now. I still like
Speaker 2: no play, I mean do I do? I still play,
Speaker 2: and I still kind of I still want to listen
Speaker 2: to music, particularly bands. There are you know, rock and
Speaker 2: roll bands and stuff. I tend to. You know, your
Speaker 2: ear tends to go to where you're interested in, and
Speaker 2: that's that's what I look for. And even to the
Speaker 2: point of I will listen to music that I don't
Speaker 2: like because I know the drums good. Do you ever
Speaker 2: have like jam sessions to your house or does Liam play? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Liam does play. Limp plays guitar. He's good too, and
Speaker 1: he became fascinated with it. And yeah, we we kind
Speaker 1: of mess around the house. Katie tunstill was a friend
Speaker 1: of mine. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So Katie was
Speaker 1: at the house in Scotland and Liam's first jam says
Speaker 1: it was me playing drums and Katie playing the bass.
Speaker 2: He was playing the guitar. That's so cool. Is that
Speaker 2: old ting ting song I think or some velvet underground
Speaker 2: song or something. And it was fun. It was fun,
Speaker 2: and I just it was my life and then I
Speaker 2: just fell into a different thing. Yeah. You know, my daughter,
Speaker 2: we both really like Katie, but she was very much
Speaker 2: into uh. I forget what the album was, but but
Speaker 2: it was during the period of time when my daughter
Speaker 2: played the bass for like three days, like we've had
Speaker 2: literally every instrument in the house at some point or another,
Speaker 2: thinking that she was gonna pay. You know, she gave
Speaker 2: recording lessons. She's like everything and now she's in college.
Speaker 2: She was playing the harp, which was literally the only
Speaker 2: instrument we did not have that awesome instrument, but pay
Speaker 2: Katie still songs on the bass for a week. Katie's
Speaker 2: great and she is. She's got a crazy story.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's she's a really interesting person and she
Speaker 1: could she's a real kind of she's like you, she's
Speaker 1: like a real musician.
Speaker 2: She's a real proper it's not there's nothing else going on.
Speaker 2: She's a musician and she's a super talented person. Anyway,
Speaker 2: that's enough. Well, it's always a pleasure. I love you,
Speaker 2: love you long taking my love to love you. Man,
Speaker 2: all right, talk to you, said