Speaker 1: Hi, I'm erin Welsh and I'm erin Ollman Updike, and.
Speaker 2: This is this podcast will kill you.
Speaker 3: Welcome to our nineteenth episode of our Anatomy of a
Speaker 3: Pandemic series, Yeah, nineteen nineteen. So over the last year
Speaker 3: and plus year, in several months, we've covered so many
Speaker 3: different angles of the COVID nineteen pandemic, and we've asked
Speaker 3: so so many.
Speaker 2: Questions, so many questions.
Speaker 4: So many.
Speaker 3: Some of them have been very big picture, like how
Speaker 3: has the pandemic amplified these already existing health disparities, And
Speaker 3: some have been very detailed, like what have we learned
Speaker 3: about the SARS COVID two service proteins and the role
Speaker 3: that they play in clinical disease.
Speaker 2: But throughout all of these episodes and all of these topics,
Speaker 2: there's been one linking factor, and that is that this
Speaker 2: pandemic is happening to all of us.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: If you've listened to the podcast before, either with this
Speaker 2: COVID series or in our normal episodes, you know that
Speaker 2: one thing we always include is a first hand account,
Speaker 2: and we do that to humanize the disease or the
Speaker 2: topic that we're covering, to remind ourselves and everyone listening
Speaker 2: that these are real things happening to real people, and
Speaker 2: for many of us, I think this pandemic has really
Speaker 2: brought that point home. Yeah, because each and every one
Speaker 2: of us, whether we've gotten COVID ourselves or not, has
Speaker 2: been impacted by this pandemic. And also, no two people
Speaker 2: have experienced the same thing, right, So.
Speaker 3: What we wanted to do in this particular episode is
Speaker 3: just to dedicate the entirety of it to your stories.
Speaker 3: We have gotten so many incredible first hand accounts from
Speaker 3: listeners from you all since we started asking for them,
Speaker 3: and we feel so fortunate for everyone who took the
Speaker 3: time and was willing to share their stories with us
Speaker 3: and with all of you who are listening. And the
Speaker 3: truth is we've received way more firsthands than we have
Speaker 3: episodes planned and since our plan for now is to
Speaker 3: have just one more episode in this COVID nineteen series
Speaker 3: after this one, although this pandemic constantly changes, so we
Speaker 3: could end up re visiting it, absolutely, but we just
Speaker 3: wanted to devote an entire episode to featuring as many
Speaker 3: of these stories as we could.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But first we have some business to take care of.
Speaker 3: We always do.
Speaker 2: It is quarantiny time. That it's kind of an unusual one. Erin,
Speaker 2: what are we doing for this quarantiny time, For.
Speaker 3: This quarantiny time, We're asking you all to tell us
Speaker 3: what's your quarantine of the day. What are you drinking
Speaker 3: this pandemic?
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's been your cocktail or mocktail, Quarantini or place
Speaker 2: Barrita of choice throughout the past year? If you found
Speaker 2: any new recipes that you really like, we want to
Speaker 2: hear from you exactly. Erin, what's been your favorite I.
Speaker 3: Think of our COVID series Quarantini's my favorite one was
Speaker 3: number seventeen that was with gin and lemon juice and grenadine.
Speaker 3: It was just like, really beautiful.
Speaker 2: Oh it is really beautiful. Yeah, I think mine is
Speaker 2: I think something that I have always loved, and that
Speaker 2: is Quarantiney too, which is just bourbon and ginger ale
Speaker 2: and lime juice. Can't go around Kentucky mule. I've definitely
Speaker 2: like it's such an easy go to. I always have
Speaker 2: like some sort of delicious ginger ale in the fridge.
Speaker 2: I like trying out new ginger ales or ginger beers.
Speaker 3: I did know that about you. As a matter of fact.
Speaker 2: Shout out to Ale eight the best Kentucky ginger Ale.
Speaker 2: But yeah, and those are already on our website, so
Speaker 2: if you would like to see them, check out this
Speaker 2: podcast will kill You dot com.
Speaker 3: Speaking of this podcast will kill You dot com, you
Speaker 3: can find so many other fun things on our website,
Speaker 3: like transcripts from every episode, all of the sources that
Speaker 3: we list from all of our episodes. We've got a
Speaker 3: link to our bookshop, dot org account, a link to
Speaker 3: our Patreon and bloodmobile, our music. Everything that you could want,
Speaker 3: it's on our website. Check it out.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. Before we dive into the episode, we did want
Speaker 2: to note a couple of things. The first is that
Speaker 2: some of these stories may include content that some people
Speaker 2: might find difficult to hear, so please use discretion when
Speaker 2: deciding whether or not to listen. And secondly, some of
Speaker 2: these first hands were recorded at various stages of the pandemic,
Speaker 2: so they may not reflect what things look like currently,
Speaker 2: so just keep that in mind. But okay, I think
Speaker 2: we are ready to get started, so let's take a
Speaker 2: quick break and then begin.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Hi, I'm Alex.
Speaker 2: I think this pandemic has a veil of misunderstanding about it.
Speaker 2: It's personal and impersonal at the same time understood and
Speaker 2: confusion causing within the same breath. You could know of
Speaker 2: someone who has the disease and recovers, or one that dies,
Speaker 2: and it all feels the same until it's really close
Speaker 2: to you. That's at least how I felt. Not for
Speaker 2: lack of understanding or empathy. I just did my due
Speaker 2: diligence and made sure I was clean, masked, and distanced
Speaker 2: so we can come out of this by trade. I
Speaker 2: am a marine biologist. I study maternal age effects in
Speaker 2: a small species of marine rootifirs. I am educated enough
Speaker 2: in biological processes to understand that this pandemic shouldn't be
Speaker 2: taken lightly, but I'm not educated enough to know how
Speaker 2: you deal with it firsthand when a loved one won't listen,
Speaker 2: especially after it's too late. My father has an always
Speaker 2: been around. He was an alcoholic with mental illness, and
Speaker 2: I can't really blame him for my siblings and eyes upbringing.
Speaker 2: In the last six years, however, he has made a
Speaker 2: resurgence with a will to change. In six years, he
Speaker 2: has made his mental health his responsibility, gotten sober, remarried,
Speaker 2: and rekindled a relationship with my brother and me. He
Speaker 2: finally made life events of priority, sending birthday cards on
Speaker 2: the right day with proper age, and even attending graduation.
Speaker 2: He even made it a point to call me every week,
Speaker 2: regardless of if he had anything new to tell me. Lately,
Speaker 2: it had been more of aw, do you really think
Speaker 2: this is real? So when I had not heard from
Speaker 2: him in over two weeks, I thought it odd. Maybe
Speaker 2: he was just back to his old ways. Was he
Speaker 2: upset that I couldn't make time to go social distance fishing.
Speaker 2: Perhaps he will only have his tantrum and call me
Speaker 2: tomorrow or the next day or next week. I didn't
Speaker 2: expect the call when I did, four o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 2: Is never a time for good news. A voicemail I
Speaker 2: still refused to delete from my phone. My stepmother was
Speaker 2: frantically letting the cat out of the bag that my
Speaker 2: father had contracted COVID nineteen about a week prior and
Speaker 2: didn't let me know. He thought it was no big deal,
Speaker 2: but now it was a big deal. He was now
Speaker 2: in a coma oxygen saturation on the floor and he
Speaker 2: was critical. After rushing to her side, everything became a blur.
Speaker 2: My job didn't matter, doctor's calls became less than hourly
Speaker 2: he was up down? Did I really not have time
Speaker 2: to go fishing? Does he know I love him? Why
Speaker 2: won't they let me in with ppe? I'm a scientist,
Speaker 2: after all, I understand this. I had not understood it
Speaker 2: thoroughly until it happened to me. The pleas from families
Speaker 2: and loved ones and medical professionals on the television and
Speaker 2: social media hadn't shown enough light on this well educated
Speaker 2: marble skull. I was doing the best I could, so
Speaker 2: how could I understand what they were going through? I
Speaker 2: indeed was socially and emotionally distancing. It's been a month,
Speaker 2: and in the blink of an eye, fifty five years
Speaker 2: has been wiped off this planet. The ICU nurses at
Speaker 2: mass General Hospital allowed us his three children to hold
Speaker 2: his hands as he went. His sighs and gasps were
Speaker 2: something I'll never forget as long as I live. As
Speaker 2: we sent him off into the next world, just as
Speaker 2: he welcomed me into this one twenty seven years ago,
Speaker 2: I felt an odd comfort and knowing I wasn't alone.
Speaker 2: Plenty of relationships have been interrupted by this pandemic, leaving
Speaker 2: little room for the good stuff. I'm educated enough now
Speaker 2: in the part of this pandemic that I have missed.
Speaker 2: Take part in whatever good things you can with them,
Speaker 2: and hold out hope that we can all go fishing
Speaker 2: again real soon.
Speaker 6: I moved to Arizona in the end of March twenty
Speaker 6: twenty after leaving a very toxic ten year marriage. I
Speaker 6: just wanted a fresh start. Going through the final stages
Speaker 6: of a divorce as the state was shutting down made
Speaker 6: the process even more difficult. Everything was over the with
Speaker 6: the lawyers. That part I was fine with because then
Speaker 6: I didn't have to see my ex, But waiting for
Speaker 6: him to agree to everything, sign in mail papers back,
Speaker 6: and then waiting for the divorce to be granted by
Speaker 6: the judge felt like it took years. Getting a new
Speaker 6: Social Security card to legally change my name back took
Speaker 6: almost the entire year because of the pandemic. Before moving,
Speaker 6: I was working in an animal hospital in Oklahoma, and
Speaker 6: we had to switch over to curbside service, probably about
Speaker 6: two weeks before I left. Appointments started by taking as
Speaker 6: detailed of a medical history over the phone from the owners.
Speaker 6: Then we would run outside to retrieve the pets and
Speaker 6: bring them in for the exam and treatment. Working in
Speaker 6: veterinary medicine and animal welfare takes a huge toll on
Speaker 6: employees and their mental health. Compassion, fatigue, and burnout is
Speaker 6: a huge problem, and working through the pandemic has made
Speaker 6: it even worse now. I worked ten to thirteen hour
Speaker 6: days on my feet four to five days a week.
Speaker 6: It is impossible for my coworkers and I had to
Speaker 6: keep six feet apart because treating animal usually takes at
Speaker 6: least two people. Animals can be fractious. Masks Fallow. I've
Speaker 6: been exposed to COVID at least five times that I
Speaker 6: know of, and have been very lucky to not get
Speaker 6: it up. Until the end of February, I was getting
Speaker 6: tested at least once a week because of the number
Speaker 6: of people that approached me outside of my clinic without
Speaker 6: a mask on. I left my first job in Arizona
Speaker 6: after two months because they refused to protect us and
Speaker 6: started to let clients back in the hospital in July.
Speaker 6: After telling my bosses I did not feel safe, they
Speaker 6: told me and I quote, we should assume our clients
Speaker 6: are taking the right precautions and that they are all
Speaker 6: negative for COVID. I took my two week COVID leave
Speaker 6: the next day, and then I resigned because the thought
Speaker 6: of going back made me feel extremely panicked. The current
Speaker 6: hospital I work for is a lot smaller, and we
Speaker 6: only allow clients in with their pets if it's for euthanasia.
Speaker 6: We are currently very understaffed and overbooked. We still accept
Speaker 6: new clients. Our surgeries are booked out at least a month,
Speaker 6: and our appointments are booking out one to two weeks.
Speaker 6: I am usually at work two hours late every shift,
Speaker 6: trying to finish my medical notes, fil prescriptions, and clean.
Speaker 6: A lot of clients are very understanding and nice, but
Speaker 6: the other half are very rude and angry, which lands
Speaker 6: on the technicians and receptionists. I am exhausted, and I
Speaker 6: know my friends in the field are too. I was
Speaker 6: in school, but I took spring of twenty twenty off
Speaker 6: to move, and then I decided to take this semester
Speaker 6: off because I mentally could not do online classes and work.
Speaker 6: I'm hoping to be in a medical lab technician program
Speaker 6: by next year. I suffer from panic disorder, severe anxiety depression,
Speaker 6: and I was sick a lot growing up. Even though
Speaker 6: my asthma and my heart arrhythmia are not severe the
Speaker 6: thought of getting COVID is still very scary to me,
Speaker 6: especially because I do not have health insurance. I received
Speaker 6: my final Pfizer vaccine February eighteenth, and I will say
Speaker 6: it has helped my mental health a lot. I have
Speaker 6: seen a few friends and spend a lot more time
Speaker 6: with my parents who live here and are fully vaccinated
Speaker 6: as well. However, large gatherings and seeing people in public
Speaker 6: and in stores without masks still heightens my anxiety. I've
Speaker 6: not seen the real to my family in over a year,
Speaker 6: but now that they are all vaccinated as well, I
Speaker 6: have made the decision to fly home to Oklahoma in
Speaker 6: June to visit them. Hugging my grandma has been and
Speaker 6: will continue being the light at the end of the
Speaker 6: tunnel for me, and I'm holding onto that.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 5: My name is Sarah and I'm a bus driver, which
Speaker 5: is considered an essential service under normal circumstances. We carry
Speaker 5: over seven million people a year, the majority coming from
Speaker 5: the local university. When it closed its doors during spring
Speaker 5: break last March, ridership went down significantly. Even with a
Speaker 5: seventy percent decrease in ridership in twenty twenty due to
Speaker 5: the pandemic it remained a very stressful job with many
Speaker 5: new challenges. The frequent policy changes like installation of plexiglass
Speaker 5: barriers and my driver's area rear door entry, passenger limits,
Speaker 5: health screenings toward social distancing in the building and buses,
Speaker 5: last minute schedule changes for reduced service, disinfecting the buses regularly,
Speaker 5: and mask requirements have been difficult to keep up with.
Speaker 5: This last fall, university students came back for classes. I
Speaker 5: think the political climate and science denial increased the challenge
Speaker 5: of enforcing our mask policy. I have had numerous altercations
Speaker 5: with highly defensive and cranky and easily agitated passengers, which
Speaker 5: sets off my anxiety. This is not a normal thing,
Speaker 5: since traditionally most of our passengers are pretty mild mannered.
Speaker 5: I never thought the site of a person's knows would
Speaker 5: become a source of rage and anxiety in me, but
Speaker 5: it has. It all actually makes me nervous to go
Speaker 5: to work some days, and my mental health has taken
Speaker 5: a hit. At the end of July, I did end
Speaker 5: up getting COVID nineteen. For me, it felt just like
Speaker 5: a sinus cold, and I was actually in denial that
Speaker 5: it was COVID until they called me and told me
Speaker 5: I was positive. I didn't experience any of the major
Speaker 5: symptoms commonly talked about, like fever or shortness of breath.
Speaker 5: I feel it was almost certainly contracted through my job,
Speaker 5: but I don't have a known exposure. I was able
Speaker 5: to be part of a paid monoclonal antibodies drug study,
Speaker 5: which at least made me feel like I was doing
Speaker 5: my part to help. However, there was a lot of
Speaker 5: shame involved with calling people to tell them I may
Speaker 5: have exposed them. Unfortunately, Among the exposed was my father,
Speaker 5: who was recently diagnosed with stage four cancer, and it
Speaker 5: pushed his treatment back by like a month, which I
Speaker 5: felt extremely guilty for. Thankfully, he didn't get it. Along
Speaker 5: with the stress of my job and experience with COVID,
Speaker 5: I have NonStop worry and anxiety about my family. I'm
Speaker 5: close to my grandparents, who are both in their nineties
Speaker 5: and will most certainly die if they were to get
Speaker 5: COVID nineteen. The stress of potentially exposing them versus giving
Speaker 5: up precious time with them has been unbearable. My mom
Speaker 5: and sister are both essential workers as well. My sister
Speaker 5: lives on the West Coast working in a lab with
Speaker 5: COVID positive patient samples, and my mom works in a
Speaker 5: high exposure position as a cashier. I worry about her
Speaker 5: a lot. COVID nineteen has affected so many aspects of
Speaker 5: my life. I've lost count my job, finances, mental health,
Speaker 5: family and friends. I feel guilty because I have been
Speaker 5: pretty lucky when compared to others. I got to keep
Speaker 5: my job and hours. I didn't have to be stuck
Speaker 5: in the house all day every day, which would have
Speaker 5: certainly driven me crazy. To date, I haven't lost anyone
Speaker 5: from this disease, and to my knowledge, I'm the only
Speaker 5: one in my family that has had it as an
Speaker 5: essential worker. I should be able to get the vaccine soon,
Speaker 5: which will help me breathe a little easier about getting
Speaker 5: COVID nineteen again or unknowingly passing it along to my
Speaker 5: at risk family members. So that's my story. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 7: I'm from Canada currently living in Beijing working at International school.
Speaker 7: I've been in Beijing throughout the pandemic and January Marx
Speaker 7: one year of adapting to the changes brought by stars
Speaker 7: kob too. Testing has become a normal part of life
Speaker 7: as a teacher. I've ad six COVID tests, none of
Speaker 7: which were given to the symptoms or specific concern of exposure.
Speaker 7: They were group tests before school openings and after holidays.
Speaker 7: My school provides me with surgical mass to wearwell teaching,
Speaker 7: and a package of extra mass for any student who
Speaker 7: may forget their own. Student temperatures are taken and recorded
Speaker 7: four times a day, and we have a designated isolation
Speaker 7: room for any student showing symptoms and designated breakout rooms
Speaker 7: should any group of students need to be moved. In Beijing,
Speaker 7: life is very much phone based, and the government has
Speaker 7: the power to quickly track and trace. Almost everyone uses
Speaker 7: an app called we Chat, and within WeChat they build
Speaker 7: a health registration component. I use that to register my
Speaker 7: phone number when eating at a restaurant, entering a cinema
Speaker 7: or a mall. I can also access the results of
Speaker 7: my COVID tests through this app, usually within twenty four
Speaker 7: hours of getting the test. There's a balance between feeling
Speaker 7: relatively safe. I celebrated Christmas with a gathering of friends
Speaker 7: and I'm able to go out to a restaurant to
Speaker 7: see a movie, but also still very cautious. Mask wearing
Speaker 7: is very consistent and the quarantine policy here is strict.
Speaker 7: When seemingly small numbers of cases are found, entire communities
Speaker 7: are tested, and that might mean millions of tests over
Speaker 7: a few days. Here, a positive test, regardless of illness
Speaker 7: severity means isolation at a government quarantine facility, even for
Speaker 7: very young children entering the country involves weeks of centralized
Speaker 7: quarantine and testing. As a teacher, this has definitely been
Speaker 7: a year of rapid emergency growth. In the first days
Speaker 7: of remote learning, I was incredibly thankful to have already
Speaker 7: started technology routines and know that my students had access
Speaker 7: to technology. But those beginning days were definitely hit or miss,
Speaker 7: and the teaching communities that I follow were still months
Speaker 7: away from their own remote learning switch. In the early days,
Speaker 7: given the unknowns at the time, international schools totals staff
Speaker 7: and students. If they were not required to be present
Speaker 7: in Beijing, they could stay put wherever they were on holiday,
Speaker 7: but should be ready to return at short notice. After
Speaker 7: much agonizing, my partner and I opted to stay, worrying
Speaker 7: about risk of exposure during travel and not having an
Speaker 7: appropriate place to self isolating Canada. As both their parents
Speaker 7: have risk factors. We all had the sense that things
Speaker 7: would be back to normal in a few weeks. As
Speaker 7: an educator, I really struggled to help my students make
Speaker 7: sense of this new reality that extended way beyond a
Speaker 7: few weeks. Many students ended up in different time zones,
Speaker 7: dealing with the separation from friends and the uncertainty of
Speaker 7: different lockdown responses as the pandemic unfolded. Some of my
Speaker 7: students are of Asian descent, and it broke my heart
Speaker 7: as they also had to navigate the racist rhetoric emerging
Speaker 7: on their social media platforms as the world began to
Speaker 7: point fingers. In late March, China closed the borders to
Speaker 7: foreign passport holders, regardless of visa. This added a whole
Speaker 7: level of uncertainty as most of our colleagues were out
Speaker 7: of country. The local community did a lot to take
Speaker 7: care of us and our other colleagues who had stayed,
Speaker 7: making sure that we understood news updates and checking in
Speaker 7: on us quite often. Looking back, I don't know if
Speaker 7: I would change our early day's decision to stay in
Speaker 7: the country. It turned out that we had a lot
Speaker 7: more freedoms than back home. Beijing never fully shut down,
Speaker 7: but we were also cut off from family and friends
Speaker 7: when we initially decided to stay last January. We hadn't
Speaker 7: even considered that there was still being an issue in
Speaker 7: the summer when we would normally go home to Canada,
Speaker 7: with the process of re entry to China quite complicated,
Speaker 7: and still knew we could not leave during the summer.
Speaker 7: And I haven't seen my family in over a year.
Speaker 7: It's taken around six months and we've got almost all
Speaker 7: of our teachers and students back to the city. It
Speaker 7: feels bizarre, almost as if the time of part never happened.
Speaker 7: Things are oddly normal, but with an undercurrent of al alertness.
Speaker 7: I just really like to see my family safely again
Speaker 7: sometime soon.
Speaker 8: I'm will from the Boston area. I'm an hourly assistant
Speaker 8: house manager for a theater company, as well as a
Speaker 8: musician and writer. I have been unemployed for over a
Speaker 8: year now due to the pandemic. The effects on the
Speaker 8: arts and entertainment industries are truly devastating, and I don't
Speaker 8: think people will see the full effects of it until
Speaker 8: at least winter. As we are thought of as unimportant
Speaker 8: fields despite being things that provide a lot of joy.
Speaker 8: Many of the salaried staff members who work in theater
Speaker 8: had to be laid off. Without active live shows, there
Speaker 8: wasn't enough money or work to keep everyone employed. I
Speaker 8: imagine live concert venues and museums were hurt the same way.
Speaker 8: I feel grateful that my parents can help me out
Speaker 8: and that the recent economic relief package passed because I
Speaker 8: have asthma and have been scared to be around too
Speaker 8: many people in enclosed spaces. Luckily, I was just vaccinated
Speaker 8: the day before I recorded this, So I'm going to
Speaker 8: start looking to see if there are any jobs in
Speaker 8: my area in restaurants or retail, but I have no
Speaker 8: idea of anyone's hiring. While there's still a lot of
Speaker 8: places that have reduced capacities indoor. A lot of people
Speaker 8: have asked me how creative I've felt or if I
Speaker 8: have accomplished anything musically this past year, and I've struggled
Speaker 8: to feel creative, which along with the feeling of isolation,
Speaker 8: has caused my anxiety level to worsen a lot. And frankly,
Speaker 8: I'm also most creative when I'm busy, so working always
Speaker 8: help me. While I've furthered a few projects very slightly,
Speaker 8: there hasn't been a full product that I've been able
Speaker 8: to complete this year. I am also a queer man,
Speaker 8: and I am feeling a loss of connection to the
Speaker 8: LGBTQ community. I used to be around numerous LGBTQ people
Speaker 8: almost daily, and now the only member I'm around daily
Speaker 8: is my roommate. I don't know what interactions I could
Speaker 8: have with queer people until the theater company I work
Speaker 8: for reopens and a lot of our bars and clubs
Speaker 8: have so many LGBTQ people are fully losing their place
Speaker 8: to gather. Without places to gather, it is much more
Speaker 8: difficult to feel a sense of community and to heal together.
Speaker 8: It is odd to feel so separated during the pandemic,
Speaker 8: but because there has also been a rise in hate
Speaker 8: crimes against LGBTQ people and a furthering of attempts by
Speaker 8: some politicians to use laws to allow forms of discrimination,
Speaker 8: the transgender and non binary communities are especially hurt by
Speaker 8: all of that. I'm hoping that by June we will
Speaker 8: be able to have our regular Pride celebrations and parades
Speaker 8: in some form or another, but I'm not sure if
Speaker 8: that's going to be possible yet. Thank you.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 9: My name is Kristen and I work as a charge
Speaker 9: nurse and supervisor at a major hospital in Los Angeles, California,
Speaker 9: which has become an epicenter for COVID nineteen. My unit
Speaker 9: previously was a cardiac unit which turned COVID step down
Speaker 9: back in March. As a charge nurse, each day I
Speaker 9: am asked to pronounce patients to cease, to provide post
Speaker 9: mortem care, and bag the patient and their belongings. Daily,
Speaker 9: I have difficult conversations with family members that only one
Speaker 9: healthy visitor can come and say goodbye to their loved one.
Speaker 9: As a cardiac nurse, this is something that we don't
Speaker 9: account or often. Our patients are typically those suffering heart
Speaker 9: attacks and yes, while their heart stops and we give
Speaker 9: CPR to bring them back to life, they often survive
Speaker 9: and go on to the ICU for further treatment. COVID
Speaker 9: patients are not like this. Each day, we often have
Speaker 9: one to two emergency situations where we are placing patients
Speaker 9: on the ventilator and rushing them to the ICU. Oftentimes
Speaker 9: they may be elderly and by placing them on the
Speaker 9: ventilator they may never come off. The physicians decide not.
Speaker 6: To pursue this.
Speaker 9: Instead, they sit on my unit gasping for air. Until
Speaker 9: their last breath, often alone, as we do not allow
Speaker 9: visitors unless a patient is actively dying. If a full
Speaker 9: code patient's heart stops, we have a device to do
Speaker 9: compressions for us, so we expose less staff members during
Speaker 9: this aerosolizing procedure. We have had families admitted in rooms
Speaker 9: next door to each other, visitors who have snuck in
Speaker 9: and given other patients COVID who are never positive, and
Speaker 9: many staff members who are getting sick currently in my hospital,
Speaker 9: staffing has also become an issue where we are overriding
Speaker 9: state mandated nurse to patient ratios just to care for
Speaker 9: the COVID search that has come into our doors. We
Speaker 9: went from a COVID positive census of forty patients before
Speaker 9: Halloween to over four hundred COVID positive patients. This is
Speaker 9: not slowing down. As a healthcare worker, I can speak
Speaker 9: for many of us when I say we are getting
Speaker 9: tired and our mental health is suffering. I can personally
Speaker 9: say I have started going to therapy and started medication
Speaker 9: because of what I am going through. I could go
Speaker 9: on for hours about the struggles we face as healthcare
Speaker 9: workers during this pandemic. We are here to do our jobs.
Speaker 9: And save lives, but it is harder and harder each
Speaker 9: and every day. We wear our masks to protect the public,
Speaker 9: but who is wearing their masks to protect us? It
Speaker 9: is an everyday struggle for the last nine months, and
Speaker 9: this is not going away. I am proud to say
Speaker 9: I'm receiving my second round of the vaccine tomorrow and
Speaker 9: I hope to do my part in ridding the world
Speaker 9: of this horrible virus.
Speaker 4: Thank you. My name is.
Speaker 10: Rebecca and I am a university climate scientist in North Carolina.
Speaker 10: Twenty twenty was going to be the year that my
Speaker 10: husband and I try to start a family. In late February,
Speaker 10: I took a pregnancy test and was more than a
Speaker 10: little surprised that it was positive. Because the timing was
Speaker 10: so soon after I'd had my birth control removed, I
Speaker 10: didn't know how pregnant I was, so I scheduled my
Speaker 10: first ultrasound for mid March, and my husband and I
Speaker 10: were really excited about getting to meet with the doctor
Speaker 10: and see our baby.
Speaker 11: But things were changing so.
Speaker 10: Quickly in North Carolina that by the time mid March
Speaker 10: got here, the obgin was only allowing patients, so I
Speaker 10: had to go by myself, but that was no problem.
Speaker 10: I found out I was about six weeks pregnant and
Speaker 10: things looked good, but it was too early for a heartbeat,
Speaker 10: so I scheduled a follow up ultrasound for three weeks later.
Speaker 11: And over those next three weeks, things did not go well.
Speaker 10: I started spotting, and I came in for blood work,
Speaker 10: and even though my pregnancy hormone levels were increasing, my
Speaker 10: spotting was getting worse.
Speaker 11: And so when I came in for that next ultrasound,
Speaker 11: I was pretty sure I'd miscarried. And I was right
Speaker 11: laying down on the table.
Speaker 10: Alone for those ten minutes while the Uldertown technician did
Speaker 10: her job, having to go back out into the waiting
Speaker 10: room alone to meet with the nurse, all while being
Speaker 10: surrounded by other women who are very visibly pregnant. I
Speaker 10: was thankful that I was wearing a mask so I
Speaker 10: could hide some of my crying, and then ultimately meeting
Speaker 10: with the nurse and not even being able to squeeze
Speaker 10: hands because we needed to socially distance. It was just
Speaker 10: an awful, awful day. I came in regularly over the
Speaker 10: next three weeks as I went through rounds of medication
Speaker 10: to complete the miscarriage, and that was ultimately unsuccessful, and
Speaker 10: I to have surgery, and going to a hospital no
Speaker 10: matter which wing, in the middle of a pandemic is
Speaker 10: nerve racking. The one and a half months that I
Speaker 10: went through my miscarriage happened to coincide with the start
Speaker 10: of lockdowns here in North Carolina, and our understanding of
Speaker 10: this disease and how it spreads was changing really quickly.
Speaker 11: So from one week to the next.
Speaker 10: I was wearing gloves into the office, leaving my mask
Speaker 10: in the car at first because it just felt weird
Speaker 10: to wear one, and then always wearing a mask because
Speaker 10: suddenly not having one now felt weird. COVID took what
Speaker 10: was already a pretty terrible and traumatic experience and just
Speaker 10: made it.
Speaker 11: So much more isolating.
Speaker 10: And the worst part is not knowing if I miscarried
Speaker 10: because miscarriages happened and this is just part of life,
Speaker 10: or if it was the immense stress of that period,
Speaker 10: or if I somehow had COVID and there's a relation
Speaker 10: shit we just don't know about yet.
Speaker 3: We'll pause here to take a break and be back
Speaker 3: with more stories in just a few minutes. Hi, my
Speaker 3: name is Samantha, and I've been struggling with depression and
Speaker 3: anxiety since I was four years old, and PTSD since
Speaker 3: I was six. I'm twenty three now, and I've spent
Speaker 3: a lot of time on finding the right medication and
Speaker 3: coping skills to survive these illnesses. I started my first
Speaker 3: semester at the University of Tennessee and discovered that COVID
Speaker 3: has not only stripped away the majority of my coping
Speaker 3: mechanisms for depression, anxiety, and PTSD, but it tripped away
Speaker 3: my study strategies. That, combined with three months of spotty WiFi,
Speaker 3: landed me back into the psychiatric hospital, where I was
Speaker 3: able to meet and talk with other people in the
Speaker 3: same boat. At the time I'm writing this, it's been
Speaker 3: two weeks since my stay at the hospital. My medicine
Speaker 3: isn't working the way it should, and I'm looking into
Speaker 3: finding a new psychiatrist to help me sort things out.
Speaker 3: Going to school during COVID is immensely difficult. At the
Speaker 3: start of the semester, everybody was new to the online
Speaker 3: learning process, which for me meant a lot of assignments
Speaker 3: fell through the cracks while I learned how to navigate
Speaker 3: the online environment and I couldn't ask for extensions for
Speaker 3: little assignments because the teachers were still figuring it out
Speaker 3: as well. What made learning the ropes especially difficult for
Speaker 3: me was that each of my teachers had their dashboards
Speaker 3: set up differently. On top of all this, my Wi
Speaker 3: Fi connection was really bad, despite paying a lot of
Speaker 3: money for it, and often cut out during my lessons.
Speaker 3: If it didn't turn back on before the end of class,
Speaker 3: I would have to wait for the recorded lecture to
Speaker 3: come out to cat later. The spotty WiFi made taking
Speaker 3: exams exponentially more difficult. Once, during the second round of exams,
Speaker 3: my WiFi cut out fifteen minutes before the start and
Speaker 3: I had to drive to my friend's house to use
Speaker 3: their Wi Fi. While I was there, there was a
Speaker 3: deadly crash on the highway leading back to my apartment,
Speaker 3: and I wasn't able to go home for two hours
Speaker 3: after I'd finished the exam. What made this so unbearable
Speaker 3: was that during this time I was so incredibly lonely.
Speaker 3: Making friends through Zoom classes with one hundred different people
Speaker 3: is difficult. Two weeks before finals, I experienced a major
Speaker 3: depressive episode. I couldn't eat, I woke up multiple times
Speaker 3: at night, covered in sweat from nightmares, and every time
Speaker 3: I tried to go to class I had a panic attack.
Speaker 3: After a week of intrusive suicidal thoughts and not being
Speaker 3: able to get out of bed, I checked myself into
Speaker 3: the hospital. It was there that I was able to
Speaker 3: meet and commiserate with people in similar situations. During one
Speaker 3: of our group therapy sessions, somebody asked the social worker
Speaker 3: if COVID nineteen had cost an increase in admittance to
Speaker 3: the psychiatric hospital. Surprisingly, the social workers said no. Admittance
Speaker 3: rates have remained stable, but of those who are coming
Speaker 3: to the hospital, many cite COVID nineteen as the reason
Speaker 3: they need help. What I learned from my stay is
Speaker 3: that it's important to remember that we are not alone
Speaker 3: in this fight. If your current coping mechanisms aren't working,
Speaker 3: you are not alone. There is help out there available
Speaker 3: to you. All you need to do is ask thank
Speaker 3: you for listening.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 12: My name is Stephanie. I'm a registered nurse originally from Australia.
Speaker 12: I came to London, UK to work as a nurse
Speaker 12: in late February twenty twenty, before COVID nineteen took control.
Speaker 5: Of the world.
Speaker 12: I'm now working on the front line helping people here
Speaker 12: in London as of right now are being fully vaccinated,
Speaker 12: but we still have a huge uphill battle here in London,
Speaker 12: as the death toll in the UK is well over
Speaker 12: one hundred thousand now. But the story I want to
Speaker 12: share is more about how I'm stuck here. As I
Speaker 12: said before, I'm from Australia. I accepted the job here
Speaker 12: in London back in October twenty nineteen. At the time,
Speaker 12: my plan was to live and work in London. On
Speaker 12: my days off, explore Europe and still fly home to
Speaker 12: see my friends and family about once a year. But
Speaker 12: it's looking like years, not months before I can see
Speaker 12: my family again. Australia has locked its borders to the
Speaker 12: rest of the world, and honestly it's for good reason.
Speaker 12: If you just look at the infection numbers, as we
Speaker 12: were getting twenty thousand cases a day here in the UK,
Speaker 12: Australia often had zero. But this means Australians like me
Speaker 12: can't go home. I think the hardest period was during Christmas.
Speaker 12: A lot of my international colleagues at work were from
Speaker 12: either mainly in Europe or from the North Americas and
Speaker 12: a lot of them got to fly home to see
Speaker 12: their families. All they needed was a negative COVID nineteen test.
Speaker 12: But Australia it's by based with the government. You have
Speaker 12: to have good reason to visit Australia and with that
Speaker 12: you also have to pay for your full two week
Speaker 12: hotel quarantine. But the biggest issue I have is that
Speaker 12: I'm not time rich enough to do something like that,
Speaker 12: Like I'm a nurse and they're not really giving out
Speaker 12: and you'll leave during a pandemic to nurses in spades
Speaker 12: right now, And so I would find myself flying all
Speaker 12: the way down to spend two weeks alone in a
Speaker 12: hotel room, to then come out see my family for
Speaker 12: like two days before I have to jump back on
Speaker 12: a plane to fly back to the UK. After one
Speaker 12: month of living here in London, I got COVID nineteen.
Speaker 12: All my friends and family were in Australia. I had
Speaker 12: to nurse myself. I felt completely alone in my apartment.
Speaker 12: It was one of the scariest weeks of my life.
Speaker 12: I'd only been here for a month, so I hadn't
Speaker 12: been registered to the free health care here yet in
Speaker 12: the UK, so I had no idea how to even
Speaker 12: access health care if I need it. I remember laying
Speaker 12: in my bed, hearing the crackles in my chest as
Speaker 12: I was trying to breathe realizing that no one in
Speaker 12: this country knew me well enough to even come to
Speaker 12: my apartment to see if I was still alive in
Speaker 12: this bed. But I got over it. I still work
Speaker 12: every day right now. My life consists of going to work,
Speaker 12: back to my apartment and then repeat. London and the
Speaker 12: UK has been in some sort of hard lockdown for
Speaker 12: eight of the twelve months I've been here now. But
Speaker 12: I've never been so busy in my nursing career, and
Speaker 12: that includes crisis nursing during the Australian bushbyers of twenty nineteen.
Speaker 12: I'm very fortunate and lucky that I live in a
Speaker 12: world that I can video call my friends and family
Speaker 12: back home, But it isn't the same as being able
Speaker 12: to hug my mum and dad. If I knew it
Speaker 12: would be the last time I see them in years,
Speaker 12: not months, I definitely would have held them longer at
Speaker 12: Sydney Airport before I said bye goodbyes.
Speaker 13: I am an elementary school teacher at a small private
Speaker 13: school in one of our major cities here in the US.
Speaker 13: Back in March, we were thrust into online learning with
Speaker 13: little to no guidance or preparation and no experience whatsoever.
Speaker 13: We were expected to teach the students remotely, trying to
Speaker 13: learn how to use meat, Google, Classroom, and all of
Speaker 13: these websites that we had actually never even heard of,
Speaker 13: and teaching from home was incredibly difficult, especially having an
Speaker 13: infinitet home. My husband was working, as was I, and
Speaker 13: I was struggling to film live lessons as well as
Speaker 13: film lessons late into the night. The workload was intense,
Speaker 13: and I was on my computer from dawn until way
Speaker 13: past my normal bedtime. We all did our best, and
Speaker 13: we were met with a variety of responses. Many people
Speaker 13: were supportive, compassionate, and appreciative, while others constantly ripped us
Speaker 13: apart and demanded more, especially online. Reading online comments still
Speaker 13: is incredibly hurtful. Matters got worse in the fall when
Speaker 13: we return to the classroom. Many other school districts around
Speaker 13: the country have been remote, but we've been in person
Speaker 13: so far the entire year. Being with my students is
Speaker 13: so wonderful and I love forming the connections with them.
Speaker 13: I of course, would prefer to always be in school
Speaker 13: with them. However, I have both in school and remote students,
Speaker 13: as well as multiple classrooms. I have no lunch breaks,
Speaker 13: no preps aside from a bathroom break, and I spend
Speaker 13: the entire day in one of two classrooms. My workload
Speaker 13: is triple what it normally is, and I never have
Speaker 13: a moment to just sit and take a deep breath.
Speaker 13: The only time I have for that is my long commute.
Speaker 5: Home and to school.
Speaker 13: Many of the students are really far below grade level,
Speaker 13: and since we're six feet apart, it's impossible to do
Speaker 13: small group work or even one to one work. All
Speaker 13: of us teachers, especially at my school, make a horribly
Speaker 13: low wage, and we are stretched so thin.
Speaker 2: During a normal year.
Speaker 13: This year, we're really having a hard time. I absolutely
Speaker 13: love my job, I adore the students and the families.
Speaker 13: I just know that a lot of us teachers are
Speaker 13: really struggling this year. We're told to take care of ourselves,
Speaker 13: but how can we. We are struggling to even get
Speaker 13: through the day. We are heroes one minute, selfish the next,
Speaker 13: and I just really hope that things change soon. Nothing
Speaker 13: is more important to us teachers than the connections with
Speaker 13: our students, and we love these kids as if they.
Speaker 5: Are our own.
Speaker 13: But we are really having a hard time getting through
Speaker 13: this year, and we're also worried about our own safety.
Speaker 13: So just remember that next time you see a teacher,
Speaker 13: maybe give them wo I would say a high five,
Speaker 13: but don't do that.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 14: For as long as I can remember, even before I
Speaker 14: understood it completely as a little girl, mental illness has
Speaker 14: been foremost in my mind. My family has been torn
Speaker 14: by it. Both my mom and my stepbrother have struggled
Speaker 14: with major depression for years. My mom also has kids, which,
Speaker 14: since it's coupled with depression, is differentiated as Skitzo effective disorder.
Speaker 14: My parents divorced years ago because of my mother's condition.
Speaker 14: They have made it hard for her to care for
Speaker 14: herself and as a result, she has some health conditions
Speaker 14: as well, including sleeping problems in type two diabetes. When
Speaker 14: the pandemic began, I knew it was going to be
Speaker 14: a difficult road, but I did not expect it to
Speaker 14: last as long as it has. I worried about my
Speaker 14: mom and my stepbrothers so much. My mom didn't understand
Speaker 14: why it was important to stay home. She would often
Speaker 14: forget to use her mask because of cognitive struggles due
Speaker 14: to the schizophrenia. I had to repeat over and over
Speaker 14: again the same talk that we had already had about
Speaker 14: how the virus could affect her and those around her.
Speaker 14: She hated being cooped up in the house, and although
Speaker 14: I tried to convince her not to, she went to
Speaker 14: the store to visit her friend's daily. I was away
Speaker 14: in Guatemala for the semester when she started having really
Speaker 14: extreme back pain, and one day when I talked to
Speaker 14: her on the phone, she told me that she was
Speaker 14: in so much pain that she wanted it to end.
Speaker 14: She just wanted to die. I tried to calm her down,
Speaker 14: to help her. Somehow I felt too far away. I
Speaker 14: felt powerless. That's how I felt towards my brother's situation
Speaker 14: as well. Many people had basically ignored his christ for help,
Speaker 14: claiming that it was attention seeking or that he would
Speaker 14: get over it soon enough. He was only fifteen, I think,
Speaker 14: when he started having these symptoms of depression, but as
Speaker 14: the pandemic wore on, he felt more and more isolated.
Speaker 14: He finally started going to counseling when he was allowed to,
Speaker 14: which helped a bit, but being away from people. He
Speaker 14: spent so many days just doing his online classes, playing
Speaker 14: video games, or listening to music, nothing more, and he
Speaker 14: was breaking. In talks that he had had with some
Speaker 14: of us siblings, he said that he just wanted it
Speaker 14: all to end. He felt like he made everything worse.
Speaker 14: We tried to console him as best we could, reassuring
Speaker 14: him that he had always been the one to cheer
Speaker 14: us up and to make us laugh. But with school
Speaker 14: and with our work and everything else, most of us
Speaker 14: were busy with our own stresses. I wish I hadn't
Speaker 14: been so busy, and I wish I hadn't been so
Speaker 14: far away. On January twenty first of this year, my
Speaker 14: dad sent me a message saying to call him, that
Speaker 14: it was an emergency. I was in an online class
Speaker 14: through Zoom, but I turned my camera off and called
Speaker 14: him as soon as I had seen the message. He
Speaker 14: told me that my brother took his own life. I
Speaker 14: didn't know what to do or what to say. I
Speaker 14: was stunned and sobbing, but I tried to hold back
Speaker 14: the tears. He left a huge hole in our family.
Speaker 14: My brother. I missed him so much. My siblings were
Speaker 14: all able to be at his funeral, but I was
Speaker 14: in Guatemala still I couldn't come back, both because of
Speaker 14: travel restrictions and because of personal reasons. I saw the
Speaker 14: funeral over the internet. I have since had my own
Speaker 14: problems with my health, both mental and medical, which has
Speaker 14: been harder to cope with than ever. I don't know
Speaker 14: if my current mental state is just because of the
Speaker 14: stress and pain because of what has happened with my
Speaker 14: brother and with my mom, or if it's something that
Speaker 14: I have just tended well to hide until now. Since then,
Speaker 14: my siblings and I and many people that were closest
Speaker 14: to my brother have come closer, but we have also
Speaker 14: suffered big mental tolls from what happened. We're not doing good.
Speaker 14: I don't think anyone is right now. This pandemic has
Speaker 14: been so difficult for everyone, regardless of party alignment, religion, ethnicity,
Speaker 14: socioeconomic status. It's a bad one. I just hope that
Speaker 14: we can come closer. Although we're mourning, I pray that
Speaker 14: we've become better towards each other, and we stopped judging
Speaker 14: those around us and acting like their problems don't matter
Speaker 14: or are less significant than our own. We're all fighting
Speaker 14: our own battles and we need each other now, during
Speaker 14: the pandemic and always.
Speaker 15: My name is Katie and I'm from Topeka, Kansas. I
Speaker 15: gave birth to our first child in January. In March,
Speaker 15: right after coming off of maternity leave, I changed jobs
Speaker 15: and had to move out of state from my partner
Speaker 15: for three months. This had all been in the works
Speaker 15: way before COVID, but we happened to move me the
Speaker 15: same week everything started shutting down. Even before COVID, I
Speaker 15: had been experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, but after COVID
Speaker 15: it really ramped up. The isolation and inability to go
Speaker 15: anywhere to take a break from the baby really made
Speaker 15: things worse. Everyone kept saying, won't make time for self care,
Speaker 15: but it's impossible when most of your usual se care
Speaker 15: activities are based on leaving the house, going to movies,
Speaker 15: coffee shops, etc. I'm only just starting to come out
Speaker 15: of the postpartum depression now. I know other moms must
Speaker 15: be going through this too, but there really isn't a
Speaker 15: platform for it.
Speaker 7: My son is.
Speaker 15: Almost a year old now and has yet to meet
Speaker 15: another baby his age, or really any kid in general.
Speaker 15: I know he'll be fine, but I wish we could
Speaker 15: have experienced the normal mother baby bonding of playgroups and
Speaker 15: park outings. Maybe that would have made things a little
Speaker 15: bit easier.
Speaker 4: Hi there, My name is Kay Crawford. I am in
Speaker 4: my mid twenties and I currently live in Lexington, Kentucky.
Speaker 4: I work as a therapeutic child support worker who works
Speaker 4: with youth that are on the autism spectrum and are
Speaker 4: also part of the foster care system. I used to
Speaker 4: work for a big grocery store chain in the pickup
Speaker 4: department and was there when the first wave of the
Speaker 4: COVID nineteen pandemic occurred. My department was notified in late
Speaker 4: February of changes occurring due to a rise in this
Speaker 4: new illness. Myself, norma coworkers, knew very much about. I
Speaker 4: didn't think it was going to be severe, maybe like
Speaker 4: the flu. I was very wrong. We were also informed
Speaker 4: about a possible lockdown and how our number of orders
Speaker 4: were going to increase and march rolls in and that's
Speaker 4: when everything changed. The number of our orders increased dramatically,
Speaker 4: but the way customers reacted to us also changed. Customers
Speaker 4: were scared, they were confused, and they didn't want any
Speaker 4: contact with any others, with any other person than themselves.
Speaker 4: Some of the customers were very nice to us in
Speaker 4: the beginning, stating that we were keeping the country going
Speaker 4: alongside the healthcare workers. However, as a lockdown persisted, customers
Speaker 4: became ruder and their suspect we were given wasn't there anymore.
Speaker 4: Customers would scream at us because the store i'd been
Speaker 4: wiped out of certain items that we had no control over,
Speaker 4: and our management weren't really the kindest to us either,
Speaker 4: pushing us to do more and more, even though we
Speaker 4: were already doing the most that we possibly could. That's
Speaker 4: when our mental health really took a toll. Many of
Speaker 4: my coworkers and myself had been working very long hours,
Speaker 4: even over time, non stop. The grocery chain gave us
Speaker 4: hero pay, which only lasted about a month before it
Speaker 4: became too costly and was taken away. We were also
Speaker 4: risking our health by being at work. Our department is
Speaker 4: not big, so coworkers cannot conform to the six foot rule.
Speaker 4: We're basically standing on top of each other deep cleaning.
Speaker 4: But a grocery chain was spoken about as if it
Speaker 4: had happened, but we didn't see it. As I said,
Speaker 4: mental health suffered. People considered friends were getting tired of
Speaker 4: each other, and because we were always around them, where
Speaker 4: arguments of bad feelings became a prevalent situation for us,
Speaker 4: we didn't really have that system of distraction that we
Speaker 4: normally had. We just we couldn't go to restaurants, we
Speaker 4: couldn't go to movies, we couldn't simply be outside to decompress,
Speaker 4: and because of that, a lot of us suffered burnout.
Speaker 4: What I hope a lot of people understand is that
Speaker 4: mental health is very important, and it is very important
Speaker 4: to those essential workers that might not be in the
Speaker 4: healthcare field but are still doing stuff every day for
Speaker 4: the functioning of society. My coworkers and I, we were
Speaker 4: on our feet constantly. Some of us never took our breaks,
Speaker 4: some of us had to be forced to take our
Speaker 4: breaks even though we were extremely busy, and we had
Speaker 4: customers screaming at us almost every day, and we were
Speaker 4: just constantly busy. And now, yes, that is nothing like
Speaker 4: what the healthcare workers experienced, and I don't want to
Speaker 4: say that we are as equal as them, but mental health,
Speaker 4: as I just said, is very important and a lot
Speaker 4: of my coworkers talked about quitting our department. The pickup
Speaker 4: department in this grocery store chain is very high stress
Speaker 4: and we are very much required to be fast, and
Speaker 4: when that doesn't happen, quinces come, which leads to more
Speaker 4: burnout and which leads to people being drained and people
Speaker 4: not being able to do their job efficiently. And as
Speaker 4: this pandemic persists, the mental health struggle is probably going
Speaker 4: to persist as well. And while I'm glad that i
Speaker 4: had a job during the pandemic, I'm very happy to
Speaker 4: have moved on into the job that I have now.
Speaker 16: My name's Robin and as I'm recording, this is day
Speaker 16: two of the third national lockdown here in the UK.
Speaker 16: The majority of my COVID nineteen experience is probably very
Speaker 16: similar to them to everybody else's. I've lost my job,
Speaker 16: I've feared for the health and safety of loved ones,
Speaker 16: some of which have had COVID and managed to thankfully
Speaker 16: pull through without too many complications. I barely left my
Speaker 16: house since February March time last year, and overall it's
Speaker 16: been a pretty terrifying and just completely bewildering experience. But
Speaker 16: there has been one really good thing to come out
Speaker 16: of it that has allowed me to look at the
Speaker 16: whole situation in a much more positive light that maybe
Speaker 16: others haven't had the chance to do. At the end
Speaker 16: of February last year, I started talking to my girlfriend.
Speaker 16: We were just arranging to meet up when the UK
Speaker 16: went into its first lockdown, and so we were kind
Speaker 16: of stuck on what we were going to do, how
Speaker 16: we were going to proceed. The time that lockdown gave
Speaker 16: us allowed us to really get to know each other,
Speaker 16: and over the three months, the three initial months of
Speaker 16: the first lockdown here in the UK that we were
Speaker 16: able to talk, we really got to know each other
Speaker 16: on a level that I don't think would have been
Speaker 16: possible had we dated in a way that is or
Speaker 16: was the normal for people here in the UK. When
Speaker 16: we did finally get to meet three months after three
Speaker 16: months of talking, while there was a massive amount of
Speaker 16: pressure to live up to this hype that we kind
Speaker 16: of built for each other, it was like meeting someone
Speaker 16: that I'd known for my whole life, and it was
Speaker 16: an easy transition into talking to this person that I'd
Speaker 16: met online at the beginning of a lockdown and really
Speaker 16: gotten to know to then finally being able to meet
Speaker 16: them in person. When lockdown restrictions started to ease, we
Speaker 16: were able to spend a lot of time together and
Speaker 16: we've been together ever since and it's amazing and I'm
Speaker 16: so incredibly thankful. But right now we're in the third
Speaker 16: national lockdown here in the UK, and it's been a
Speaker 16: month since I saw her, and I expect it will
Speaker 16: be at least another two months since I see her.
Speaker 16: Massively grateful for the time we got to spend to
Speaker 16: spend together when lockdown was eased over the summer. It's
Speaker 16: difficult to now go back to having no contacts apart
Speaker 16: from text messages and phone calls. I miss her a lot,
Speaker 16: and we're trying to make the best of it, but
Speaker 16: it is hard. At the same time, though it is
Speaker 16: this light at the end of the tunnel, it's a
Speaker 16: reason to make sure that we're doing the best we
Speaker 16: can to get through lockdown and the pandemic, and we
Speaker 16: know that doing our bit to keep infection rates down,
Speaker 16: wearing masks, washing hands, keeping distances, just staying inside as
Speaker 16: much as we can is going to help us to
Speaker 16: be able to see each other as soon as we can.
Speaker 16: I've had so many people say to me, you know,
Speaker 16: how how have you managed, Robin? How have you managed
Speaker 16: to land yourself in a relationship with someone that you
Speaker 16: want to spend the rest of your life with during
Speaker 16: a time when people can't see each other and new
Speaker 16: people can't really meet. And to be honest, I don't
Speaker 16: really know how I've managed it, but I have and
Speaker 16: I'm so incredibly grateful that I have done that somehow,
Speaker 16: And I just want people to know that there is
Speaker 16: light in every situation. And it's hard. I know, it's
Speaker 16: so difficult out there in every part of the world
Speaker 16: at the moment. But if you can find some light
Speaker 16: to hold on to, then there is a promise that
Speaker 16: this pandemic will be over sooner rather than later if
Speaker 16: we keep everything crossed and do what we can to
Speaker 16: ensure that those infection rapes stay low.
Speaker 2: Thank you again to everyone who has shared their firsthand
Speaker 2: experience with us. We know that telling these stories and
Speaker 2: reliving these experiences isn't easy, and we are so so
Speaker 2: grateful to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. We usually wrap up these COVID nineteen
Speaker 3: episodes with a top five things that we've learned, but
Speaker 3: we don't really have that for this episode. I think
Speaker 3: there are so many things that we've learned throughout this
Speaker 3: pandemic about ourselves and about our relationships and our connection
Speaker 3: to the world around us. But maybe if there's one
Speaker 3: thing to take away from this episode, or this pandemic
Speaker 3: even is that every one of us, every person has
Speaker 3: their own struggles, their own experiences, their own challenges, hopes, fears, dreams,
Speaker 3: entire lives and remembering that showing empathy. It's so incredibly important.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it really really is. Again, thank you, Thank you.
Speaker 2: Thank you to everyone who for this episode, for all
Speaker 2: of our episodes, for everyone who wrote in, thank you
Speaker 2: for sharing your stories with us. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you also to Bloodmobile for providing the music for
Speaker 3: this episode and every one of our episodes.
Speaker 2: Thank you to everyone who supports us on Patreon. You
Speaker 2: are amazing. It's unbelievable.
Speaker 7: Thank you.
Speaker 3: Thank you also to the Exactly Right Network, of whom
Speaker 3: we're very proud to be a part.
Speaker 2: And thank you to you listeners who tune in week
Speaker 2: after week and listen to us say stuff. It's still remarkable.
Speaker 2: People want to hear our voices.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, hopefully this was a nice break hearing everyone
Speaker 3: else's voices.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, well, until next time, wash your hands
Speaker 3: You filthy animals.