WEBVTT - COVID-19 Chapter 19: Your Stories 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:48.919 Hi, I'm erin Welsh and I'm erin Ollman Updike, and. 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:51.080 This is this podcast will kill you. 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:55.880 Welcome to our nineteenth episode of our Anatomy of a 0:00:55.960 --> 0:01:01.400 Pandemic series, Yeah, nineteen nineteen. So over the last year 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:06.160 and plus year, in several months, we've covered so many 0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:10.039 different angles of the COVID nineteen pandemic, and we've asked 0:01:10.400 --> 0:01:12.080 so so many. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.440 Questions, so many questions. 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:14.679 So many. 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:17.600 Some of them have been very big picture, like how 0:01:17.640 --> 0:01:21.960 has the pandemic amplified these already existing health disparities, And 0:01:22.040 --> 0:01:25.039 some have been very detailed, like what have we learned 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.000 about the SARS COVID two service proteins and the role 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:29.400 that they play in clinical disease. 0:01:31.040 --> 0:01:34.360 But throughout all of these episodes and all of these topics, 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:38.360 there's been one linking factor, and that is that this 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:41.080 pandemic is happening to all of us. 0:01:41.400 --> 0:01:41.920 Yeah. 0:01:42.200 --> 0:01:45.399 If you've listened to the podcast before, either with this 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:48.600 COVID series or in our normal episodes, you know that 0:01:48.760 --> 0:01:51.360 one thing we always include is a first hand account, 0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:54.360 and we do that to humanize the disease or the 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:58.360 topic that we're covering, to remind ourselves and everyone listening 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:02.640 that these are real things happening to real people, and 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:05.559 for many of us, I think this pandemic has really 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:09.359 brought that point home. Yeah, because each and every one 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:12.560 of us, whether we've gotten COVID ourselves or not, has 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.480 been impacted by this pandemic. And also, no two people 0:02:16.520 --> 0:02:19.840 have experienced the same thing, right, So. 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:23.360 What we wanted to do in this particular episode is 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:27.440 just to dedicate the entirety of it to your stories. 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.959 We have gotten so many incredible first hand accounts from 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:35.920 listeners from you all since we started asking for them, 0:02:35.960 --> 0:02:39.600 and we feel so fortunate for everyone who took the 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.839 time and was willing to share their stories with us 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.360 and with all of you who are listening. And the 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:48.120 truth is we've received way more firsthands than we have 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:51.240 episodes planned and since our plan for now is to 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:54.280 have just one more episode in this COVID nineteen series 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:59.200 after this one, although this pandemic constantly changes, so we 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:02.520 could end up re visiting it, absolutely, but we just 0:03:02.560 --> 0:03:05.760 wanted to devote an entire episode to featuring as many 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:07.160 of these stories as we could. 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:12.160 Yeah, But first we have some business to take care of. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:13.600 We always do. 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:21.079 It is quarantiny time. That it's kind of an unusual one. Erin, 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.520 what are we doing for this quarantiny time, For. 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:27.160 This quarantiny time, We're asking you all to tell us 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:31.160 what's your quarantine of the day. What are you drinking 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:32.040 this pandemic? 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:36.760 Yeah, what's been your cocktail or mocktail, Quarantini or place 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.880 Barrita of choice throughout the past year? If you found 0:03:39.920 --> 0:03:42.960 any new recipes that you really like, we want to 0:03:42.960 --> 0:03:50.040 hear from you exactly. Erin, what's been your favorite I. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:54.720 Think of our COVID series Quarantini's my favorite one was 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:59.000 number seventeen that was with gin and lemon juice and grenadine. 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:01.080 It was just like, really beautiful. 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:06.160 Oh it is really beautiful. Yeah, I think mine is 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.760 I think something that I have always loved, and that 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.200 is Quarantiney too, which is just bourbon and ginger ale 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:19.480 and lime juice. Can't go around Kentucky mule. I've definitely 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:22.839 like it's such an easy go to. I always have 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.760 like some sort of delicious ginger ale in the fridge. 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.680 I like trying out new ginger ales or ginger beers. 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:30.800 I did know that about you. As a matter of fact. 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:34.640 Shout out to Ale eight the best Kentucky ginger Ale. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:38.960 But yeah, and those are already on our website, so 0:04:39.040 --> 0:04:41.160 if you would like to see them, check out this 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:42.800 podcast will kill You dot com. 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:45.400 Speaking of this podcast will kill You dot com, you 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.320 can find so many other fun things on our website, 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:51.520 like transcripts from every episode, all of the sources that 0:04:51.560 --> 0:04:53.880 we list from all of our episodes. We've got a 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:56.359 link to our bookshop, dot org account, a link to 0:04:56.600 --> 0:05:01.240 our Patreon and bloodmobile, our music. Everything that you could want, 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:02.920 it's on our website. Check it out. 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:08.000 Absolutely. Before we dive into the episode, we did want 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.080 to note a couple of things. The first is that 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:14.279 some of these stories may include content that some people 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.160 might find difficult to hear, so please use discretion when 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:21.839 deciding whether or not to listen. And secondly, some of 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.200 these first hands were recorded at various stages of the pandemic, 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:28.520 so they may not reflect what things look like currently, 0:05:28.600 --> 0:05:32.360 so just keep that in mind. But okay, I think 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.159 we are ready to get started, so let's take a 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:36.640 quick break and then begin. 0:05:37.320 --> 0:06:03.960 Yeah, Hi, I'm Alex. 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:08.839 I think this pandemic has a veil of misunderstanding about it. 0:06:08.839 --> 0:06:13.560 It's personal and impersonal at the same time understood and 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:17.359 confusion causing within the same breath. You could know of 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:21.360 someone who has the disease and recovers, or one that dies, 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.880 and it all feels the same until it's really close 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:27.880 to you. That's at least how I felt. Not for 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:31.240 lack of understanding or empathy. I just did my due 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:34.840 diligence and made sure I was clean, masked, and distanced 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.560 so we can come out of this by trade. I 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.800 am a marine biologist. I study maternal age effects in 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.600 a small species of marine rootifirs. I am educated enough 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:48.719 in biological processes to understand that this pandemic shouldn't be 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:52.760 taken lightly, but I'm not educated enough to know how 0:06:52.800 --> 0:06:55.920 you deal with it firsthand when a loved one won't listen, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.320 especially after it's too late. My father has an always 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:03.440 been around. He was an alcoholic with mental illness, and 0:07:03.480 --> 0:07:06.280 I can't really blame him for my siblings and eyes upbringing. 0:07:06.880 --> 0:07:09.400 In the last six years, however, he has made a 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.520 resurgence with a will to change. In six years, he 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:16.520 has made his mental health his responsibility, gotten sober, remarried, 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:20.040 and rekindled a relationship with my brother and me. He 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:23.480 finally made life events of priority, sending birthday cards on 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:26.760 the right day with proper age, and even attending graduation. 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:29.960 He even made it a point to call me every week, 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.760 regardless of if he had anything new to tell me. Lately, 0:07:33.880 --> 0:07:36.360 it had been more of aw, do you really think 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:39.200 this is real? So when I had not heard from 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:42.840 him in over two weeks, I thought it odd. Maybe 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:45.720 he was just back to his old ways. Was he 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.840 upset that I couldn't make time to go social distance fishing. 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.840 Perhaps he will only have his tantrum and call me 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:56.119 tomorrow or the next day or next week. I didn't 0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:59.360 expect the call when I did, four o'clock in the morning. 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:03.280 Is never a time for good news. A voicemail I 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:07.120 still refused to delete from my phone. My stepmother was 0:08:07.160 --> 0:08:09.320 frantically letting the cat out of the bag that my 0:08:09.360 --> 0:08:12.480 father had contracted COVID nineteen about a week prior and 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:15.520 didn't let me know. He thought it was no big deal, 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:18.800 but now it was a big deal. He was now 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:22.440 in a coma oxygen saturation on the floor and he 0:08:22.520 --> 0:08:26.600 was critical. After rushing to her side, everything became a blur. 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:30.560 My job didn't matter, doctor's calls became less than hourly 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.800 he was up down? Did I really not have time 0:08:33.800 --> 0:08:36.199 to go fishing? Does he know I love him? Why 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.760 won't they let me in with ppe? I'm a scientist, 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.480 after all, I understand this. I had not understood it 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:45.959 thoroughly until it happened to me. The pleas from families 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:48.720 and loved ones and medical professionals on the television and 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.960 social media hadn't shown enough light on this well educated 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:54.720 marble skull. I was doing the best I could, so 0:08:54.720 --> 0:08:57.080 how could I understand what they were going through? I 0:08:57.160 --> 0:09:01.680 indeed was socially and emotionally distancing. It's been a month, 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.920 and in the blink of an eye, fifty five years 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.840 has been wiped off this planet. The ICU nurses at 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:11.559 mass General Hospital allowed us his three children to hold 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:15.559 his hands as he went. His sighs and gasps were 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:19.520 something I'll never forget as long as I live. As 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:21.839 we sent him off into the next world, just as 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.480 he welcomed me into this one twenty seven years ago, 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:27.800 I felt an odd comfort and knowing I wasn't alone. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:32.040 Plenty of relationships have been interrupted by this pandemic, leaving 0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:35.360 little room for the good stuff. I'm educated enough now 0:09:35.400 --> 0:09:37.600 in the part of this pandemic that I have missed. 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:40.760 Take part in whatever good things you can with them, 0:09:40.880 --> 0:09:43.200 and hold out hope that we can all go fishing 0:09:43.240 --> 0:09:44.320 again real soon. 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:49.319 I moved to Arizona in the end of March twenty 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.280 twenty after leaving a very toxic ten year marriage. I 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:55.440 just wanted a fresh start. Going through the final stages 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:57.400 of a divorce as the state was shutting down made 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.320 the process even more difficult. Everything was over the with 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:02.679 the lawyers. That part I was fine with because then 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.240 I didn't have to see my ex, But waiting for 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:08.080 him to agree to everything, sign in mail papers back, 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.920 and then waiting for the divorce to be granted by 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:12.800 the judge felt like it took years. Getting a new 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:15.640 Social Security card to legally change my name back took 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.960 almost the entire year because of the pandemic. Before moving, 0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.400 I was working in an animal hospital in Oklahoma, and 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.800 we had to switch over to curbside service, probably about 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:28.920 two weeks before I left. Appointments started by taking as 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:32.200 detailed of a medical history over the phone from the owners. 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.640 Then we would run outside to retrieve the pets and 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.880 bring them in for the exam and treatment. Working in 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.800 veterinary medicine and animal welfare takes a huge toll on 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:43.839 employees and their mental health. Compassion, fatigue, and burnout is 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:46.679 a huge problem, and working through the pandemic has made 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:49.360 it even worse now. I worked ten to thirteen hour 0:10:49.440 --> 0:10:51.360 days on my feet four to five days a week. 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.920 It is impossible for my coworkers and I had to 0:10:54.000 --> 0:10:56.680 keep six feet apart because treating animal usually takes at 0:10:56.760 --> 0:11:01.280 least two people. Animals can be fractious. Masks Fallow. I've 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:03.320 been exposed to COVID at least five times that I 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:05.800 know of, and have been very lucky to not get 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:08.439 it up. Until the end of February, I was getting 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:10.520 tested at least once a week because of the number 0:11:10.520 --> 0:11:12.640 of people that approached me outside of my clinic without 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:15.760 a mask on. I left my first job in Arizona 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:19.000 after two months because they refused to protect us and 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.360 started to let clients back in the hospital in July. 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.120 After telling my bosses I did not feel safe, they 0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.640 told me and I quote, we should assume our clients 0:11:26.679 --> 0:11:28.560 are taking the right precautions and that they are all 0:11:28.600 --> 0:11:31.679 negative for COVID. I took my two week COVID leave 0:11:31.720 --> 0:11:34.000 the next day, and then I resigned because the thought 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:37.080 of going back made me feel extremely panicked. The current 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:39.040 hospital I work for is a lot smaller, and we 0:11:39.080 --> 0:11:41.959 only allow clients in with their pets if it's for euthanasia. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:45.960 We are currently very understaffed and overbooked. We still accept 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:49.360 new clients. Our surgeries are booked out at least a month, 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:52.080 and our appointments are booking out one to two weeks. 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:56.160 I am usually at work two hours late every shift, 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.800 trying to finish my medical notes, fil prescriptions, and clean. 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.280 A lot of clients are very understanding and nice, but 0:12:03.320 --> 0:12:05.720 the other half are very rude and angry, which lands 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:09.240 on the technicians and receptionists. I am exhausted, and I 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.200 know my friends in the field are too. I was 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:14.560 in school, but I took spring of twenty twenty off 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:16.760 to move, and then I decided to take this semester 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:20.160 off because I mentally could not do online classes and work. 0:12:21.200 --> 0:12:23.960 I'm hoping to be in a medical lab technician program 0:12:24.000 --> 0:12:29.760 by next year. I suffer from panic disorder, severe anxiety depression, 0:12:29.840 --> 0:12:32.360 and I was sick a lot growing up. Even though 0:12:32.360 --> 0:12:35.280 my asthma and my heart arrhythmia are not severe the 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:37.480 thought of getting COVID is still very scary to me, 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.439 especially because I do not have health insurance. I received 0:12:41.440 --> 0:12:44.120 my final Pfizer vaccine February eighteenth, and I will say 0:12:44.120 --> 0:12:47.320 it has helped my mental health a lot. I have 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:49.320 seen a few friends and spend a lot more time 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:51.440 with my parents who live here and are fully vaccinated 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:54.920 as well. However, large gatherings and seeing people in public 0:12:54.960 --> 0:12:59.360 and in stores without masks still heightens my anxiety. I've 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.440 not seen the real to my family in over a year, 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.880 but now that they are all vaccinated as well, I 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.160 have made the decision to fly home to Oklahoma in 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:09.280 June to visit them. Hugging my grandma has been and 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.040 will continue being the light at the end of the 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:12.760 tunnel for me, and I'm holding onto that. 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:16.320 Hi. 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.200 My name is Sarah and I'm a bus driver, which 0:13:19.440 --> 0:13:24.720 is considered an essential service under normal circumstances. We carry 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.520 over seven million people a year, the majority coming from 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:32.840 the local university. When it closed its doors during spring 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:38.280 break last March, ridership went down significantly. Even with a 0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:42.400 seventy percent decrease in ridership in twenty twenty due to 0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:46.080 the pandemic it remained a very stressful job with many 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:52.040 new challenges. The frequent policy changes like installation of plexiglass 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:57.840 barriers and my driver's area rear door entry, passenger limits, 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:03.520 health screenings toward social distancing in the building and buses, 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:10.280 last minute schedule changes for reduced service, disinfecting the buses regularly, 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:15.360 and mask requirements have been difficult to keep up with. 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:20.840 This last fall, university students came back for classes. I 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:24.720 think the political climate and science denial increased the challenge 0:14:24.760 --> 0:14:29.960 of enforcing our mask policy. I have had numerous altercations 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:35.720 with highly defensive and cranky and easily agitated passengers, which 0:14:36.440 --> 0:14:40.080 sets off my anxiety. This is not a normal thing, 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:45.280 since traditionally most of our passengers are pretty mild mannered. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:50.760 I never thought the site of a person's knows would 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:54.360 become a source of rage and anxiety in me, but 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:58.320 it has. It all actually makes me nervous to go 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:00.520 to work some days, and my mental health has taken 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:04.680 a hit. At the end of July, I did end 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:08.680 up getting COVID nineteen. For me, it felt just like 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.800 a sinus cold, and I was actually in denial that 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.520 it was COVID until they called me and told me 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:18.520 I was positive. I didn't experience any of the major 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.600 symptoms commonly talked about, like fever or shortness of breath. 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:26.280 I feel it was almost certainly contracted through my job, 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.520 but I don't have a known exposure. I was able 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:34.960 to be part of a paid monoclonal antibodies drug study, 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:37.640 which at least made me feel like I was doing 0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:42.320 my part to help. However, there was a lot of 0:15:42.400 --> 0:15:45.080 shame involved with calling people to tell them I may 0:15:45.080 --> 0:15:49.440 have exposed them. Unfortunately, Among the exposed was my father, 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:53.320 who was recently diagnosed with stage four cancer, and it 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:56.760 pushed his treatment back by like a month, which I 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:02.200 felt extremely guilty for. Thankfully, he didn't get it. Along 0:16:02.240 --> 0:16:05.680 with the stress of my job and experience with COVID, 0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:10.720 I have NonStop worry and anxiety about my family. I'm 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.760 close to my grandparents, who are both in their nineties 0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:17.120 and will most certainly die if they were to get 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:21.760 COVID nineteen. The stress of potentially exposing them versus giving 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:26.880 up precious time with them has been unbearable. My mom 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:31.240 and sister are both essential workers as well. My sister 0:16:31.320 --> 0:16:34.400 lives on the West Coast working in a lab with 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:39.400 COVID positive patient samples, and my mom works in a 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:45.200 high exposure position as a cashier. I worry about her 0:16:45.240 --> 0:16:50.240 a lot. COVID nineteen has affected so many aspects of 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:55.000 my life. I've lost count my job, finances, mental health, 0:16:55.040 --> 0:17:00.600 family and friends. I feel guilty because I have been 0:17:00.880 --> 0:17:04.800 pretty lucky when compared to others. I got to keep 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.679 my job and hours. I didn't have to be stuck 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:09.679 in the house all day every day, which would have 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:15.160 certainly driven me crazy. To date, I haven't lost anyone 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:18.080 from this disease, and to my knowledge, I'm the only 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:21.200 one in my family that has had it as an 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.400 essential worker. I should be able to get the vaccine soon, 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.800 which will help me breathe a little easier about getting 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:33.000 COVID nineteen again or unknowingly passing it along to my 0:17:33.080 --> 0:17:39.800 at risk family members. So that's my story. Thanks for listening. 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.800 I'm from Canada currently living in Beijing working at International school. 0:17:49.119 --> 0:17:52.480 I've been in Beijing throughout the pandemic and January Marx 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.000 one year of adapting to the changes brought by stars 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:58.600 kob too. Testing has become a normal part of life 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.679 as a teacher. I've ad six COVID tests, none of 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:05.359 which were given to the symptoms or specific concern of exposure. 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.280 They were group tests before school openings and after holidays. 0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.760 My school provides me with surgical mass to wearwell teaching, 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.440 and a package of extra mass for any student who 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:19.160 may forget their own. Student temperatures are taken and recorded 0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.040 four times a day, and we have a designated isolation 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:25.840 room for any student showing symptoms and designated breakout rooms 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:29.600 should any group of students need to be moved. In Beijing, 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.800 life is very much phone based, and the government has 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:36.880 the power to quickly track and trace. Almost everyone uses 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.960 an app called we Chat, and within WeChat they build 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:43.639 a health registration component. I use that to register my 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:47.240 phone number when eating at a restaurant, entering a cinema 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:50.359 or a mall. I can also access the results of 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.800 my COVID tests through this app, usually within twenty four 0:18:53.800 --> 0:18:57.639 hours of getting the test. There's a balance between feeling 0:18:57.680 --> 0:19:01.760 relatively safe. I celebrated Christmas with a gathering of friends 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:03.919 and I'm able to go out to a restaurant to 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:08.200 see a movie, but also still very cautious. Mask wearing 0:19:08.280 --> 0:19:11.399 is very consistent and the quarantine policy here is strict. 0:19:11.920 --> 0:19:15.680 When seemingly small numbers of cases are found, entire communities 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.760 are tested, and that might mean millions of tests over 0:19:18.840 --> 0:19:22.880 a few days. Here, a positive test, regardless of illness 0:19:22.880 --> 0:19:27.320 severity means isolation at a government quarantine facility, even for 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:31.800 very young children entering the country involves weeks of centralized 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:36.360 quarantine and testing. As a teacher, this has definitely been 0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:39.920 a year of rapid emergency growth. In the first days 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:42.879 of remote learning, I was incredibly thankful to have already 0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:46.240 started technology routines and know that my students had access 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:50.119 to technology. But those beginning days were definitely hit or miss, 0:19:50.440 --> 0:19:53.080 and the teaching communities that I follow were still months 0:19:53.080 --> 0:19:57.280 away from their own remote learning switch. In the early days, 0:19:57.280 --> 0:20:01.119 given the unknowns at the time, international schools totals staff 0:20:01.119 --> 0:20:03.439 and students. If they were not required to be present 0:20:03.480 --> 0:20:06.760 in Beijing, they could stay put wherever they were on holiday, 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:10.480 but should be ready to return at short notice. After 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:13.760 much agonizing, my partner and I opted to stay, worrying 0:20:13.800 --> 0:20:16.639 about risk of exposure during travel and not having an 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:20.200 appropriate place to self isolating Canada. As both their parents 0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:23.160 have risk factors. We all had the sense that things 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:26.480 would be back to normal in a few weeks. As 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:29.160 an educator, I really struggled to help my students make 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:32.200 sense of this new reality that extended way beyond a 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:36.000 few weeks. Many students ended up in different time zones, 0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:39.159 dealing with the separation from friends and the uncertainty of 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:43.639 different lockdown responses as the pandemic unfolded. Some of my 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.359 students are of Asian descent, and it broke my heart 0:20:46.480 --> 0:20:49.760 as they also had to navigate the racist rhetoric emerging 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:52.480 on their social media platforms as the world began to 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:56.720 point fingers. In late March, China closed the borders to 0:20:56.760 --> 0:21:00.960 foreign passport holders, regardless of visa. This added a whole 0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:03.560 level of uncertainty as most of our colleagues were out 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:06.680 of country. The local community did a lot to take 0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:08.959 care of us and our other colleagues who had stayed, 0:21:09.359 --> 0:21:12.199 making sure that we understood news updates and checking in 0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:16.439 on us quite often. Looking back, I don't know if 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:18.760 I would change our early day's decision to stay in 0:21:18.800 --> 0:21:20.960 the country. It turned out that we had a lot 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:24.840 more freedoms than back home. Beijing never fully shut down, 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:27.960 but we were also cut off from family and friends 0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:32.160 when we initially decided to stay last January. We hadn't 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:34.359 even considered that there was still being an issue in 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:36.960 the summer when we would normally go home to Canada, 0:21:37.600 --> 0:21:40.640 with the process of re entry to China quite complicated, 0:21:40.760 --> 0:21:43.520 and still knew we could not leave during the summer. 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:46.040 And I haven't seen my family in over a year. 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:50.440 It's taken around six months and we've got almost all 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:53.399 of our teachers and students back to the city. It 0:21:53.440 --> 0:21:56.520 feels bizarre, almost as if the time of part never happened. 0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:00.520 Things are oddly normal, but with an undercurrent of al alertness. 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:03.720 I just really like to see my family safely again 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:04.480 sometime soon. 0:22:07.920 --> 0:22:10.920 I'm will from the Boston area. I'm an hourly assistant 0:22:10.920 --> 0:22:13.200 house manager for a theater company, as well as a 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:17.119 musician and writer. I have been unemployed for over a 0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:19.920 year now due to the pandemic. The effects on the 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.880 arts and entertainment industries are truly devastating, and I don't 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:25.240 think people will see the full effects of it until 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:28.240 at least winter. As we are thought of as unimportant 0:22:28.280 --> 0:22:31.000 fields despite being things that provide a lot of joy. 0:22:32.320 --> 0:22:34.760 Many of the salaried staff members who work in theater 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:38.280 had to be laid off. Without active live shows, there 0:22:38.320 --> 0:22:42.240 wasn't enough money or work to keep everyone employed. I 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:45.920 imagine live concert venues and museums were hurt the same way. 0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:49.119 I feel grateful that my parents can help me out 0:22:49.200 --> 0:22:53.080 and that the recent economic relief package passed because I 0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:55.359 have asthma and have been scared to be around too 0:22:55.400 --> 0:22:59.320 many people in enclosed spaces. Luckily, I was just vaccinated 0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:01.600 the day before I recorded this, So I'm going to 0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:04.040 start looking to see if there are any jobs in 0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:07.119 my area in restaurants or retail, but I have no 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:09.840 idea of anyone's hiring. While there's still a lot of 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:14.639 places that have reduced capacities indoor. A lot of people 0:23:14.680 --> 0:23:17.040 have asked me how creative I've felt or if I 0:23:17.040 --> 0:23:20.360 have accomplished anything musically this past year, and I've struggled 0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:24.439 to feel creative, which along with the feeling of isolation, 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:28.160 has caused my anxiety level to worsen a lot. And frankly, 0:23:28.200 --> 0:23:31.119 I'm also most creative when I'm busy, so working always 0:23:31.200 --> 0:23:35.440 help me. While I've furthered a few projects very slightly, 0:23:35.920 --> 0:23:38.080 there hasn't been a full product that I've been able 0:23:38.080 --> 0:23:41.080 to complete this year. I am also a queer man, 0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:42.879 and I am feeling a loss of connection to the 0:23:43.000 --> 0:23:47.879 LGBTQ community. I used to be around numerous LGBTQ people 0:23:48.000 --> 0:23:50.760 almost daily, and now the only member I'm around daily 0:23:50.840 --> 0:23:54.800 is my roommate. I don't know what interactions I could 0:23:54.840 --> 0:23:57.400 have with queer people until the theater company I work 0:23:57.480 --> 0:23:59.760 for reopens and a lot of our bars and clubs 0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:03.359 have so many LGBTQ people are fully losing their place 0:24:03.400 --> 0:24:07.479 to gather. Without places to gather, it is much more 0:24:07.560 --> 0:24:10.320 difficult to feel a sense of community and to heal together. 0:24:10.920 --> 0:24:13.639 It is odd to feel so separated during the pandemic, 0:24:14.240 --> 0:24:16.920 but because there has also been a rise in hate 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:20.520 crimes against LGBTQ people and a furthering of attempts by 0:24:20.520 --> 0:24:23.840 some politicians to use laws to allow forms of discrimination, 0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:28.359 the transgender and non binary communities are especially hurt by 0:24:28.400 --> 0:24:31.040 all of that. I'm hoping that by June we will 0:24:31.080 --> 0:24:34.000 be able to have our regular Pride celebrations and parades 0:24:34.040 --> 0:24:36.040 in some form or another, but I'm not sure if 0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:39.439 that's going to be possible yet. Thank you. 0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:43.040 Hi. 0:24:43.160 --> 0:24:44.800 My name is Kristen and I work as a charge 0:24:44.840 --> 0:24:47.959 nurse and supervisor at a major hospital in Los Angeles, California, 0:24:48.040 --> 0:24:51.120 which has become an epicenter for COVID nineteen. My unit 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:53.800 previously was a cardiac unit which turned COVID step down 0:24:53.840 --> 0:24:56.480 back in March. As a charge nurse, each day I 0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:58.960 am asked to pronounce patients to cease, to provide post 0:24:58.960 --> 0:25:02.159 mortem care, and bag the patient and their belongings. Daily, 0:25:02.200 --> 0:25:04.840 I have difficult conversations with family members that only one 0:25:04.840 --> 0:25:07.399 healthy visitor can come and say goodbye to their loved one. 0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:09.800 As a cardiac nurse, this is something that we don't 0:25:09.800 --> 0:25:12.840 account or often. Our patients are typically those suffering heart 0:25:12.840 --> 0:25:15.119 attacks and yes, while their heart stops and we give 0:25:15.160 --> 0:25:17.840 CPR to bring them back to life, they often survive 0:25:17.920 --> 0:25:20.879 and go on to the ICU for further treatment. COVID 0:25:20.920 --> 0:25:23.679 patients are not like this. Each day, we often have 0:25:23.720 --> 0:25:26.760 one to two emergency situations where we are placing patients 0:25:26.760 --> 0:25:30.240 on the ventilator and rushing them to the ICU. Oftentimes 0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:32.159 they may be elderly and by placing them on the 0:25:32.240 --> 0:25:35.200 ventilator they may never come off. The physicians decide not. 0:25:35.200 --> 0:25:35.800 To pursue this. 0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:39.040 Instead, they sit on my unit gasping for air. Until 0:25:39.040 --> 0:25:41.480 their last breath, often alone, as we do not allow 0:25:41.560 --> 0:25:45.280 visitors unless a patient is actively dying. If a full 0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:47.800 code patient's heart stops, we have a device to do 0:25:47.800 --> 0:25:50.640 compressions for us, so we expose less staff members during 0:25:50.680 --> 0:25:54.320 this aerosolizing procedure. We have had families admitted in rooms 0:25:54.320 --> 0:25:56.679 next door to each other, visitors who have snuck in 0:25:56.680 --> 0:25:59.479 and given other patients COVID who are never positive, and 0:25:59.480 --> 0:26:02.840 many staff members who are getting sick currently in my hospital, 0:26:02.880 --> 0:26:05.840 staffing has also become an issue where we are overriding 0:26:05.880 --> 0:26:08.879 state mandated nurse to patient ratios just to care for 0:26:08.920 --> 0:26:12.439 the COVID search that has come into our doors. We 0:26:12.480 --> 0:26:15.280 went from a COVID positive census of forty patients before 0:26:15.320 --> 0:26:19.239 Halloween to over four hundred COVID positive patients. This is 0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:22.000 not slowing down. As a healthcare worker, I can speak 0:26:22.040 --> 0:26:23.720 for many of us when I say we are getting 0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:26.880 tired and our mental health is suffering. I can personally 0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:29.520 say I have started going to therapy and started medication 0:26:29.640 --> 0:26:31.840 because of what I am going through. I could go 0:26:31.840 --> 0:26:34.080 on for hours about the struggles we face as healthcare 0:26:34.119 --> 0:26:36.960 workers during this pandemic. We are here to do our jobs. 0:26:36.960 --> 0:26:39.440 And save lives, but it is harder and harder each 0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:42.480 and every day. We wear our masks to protect the public, 0:26:42.560 --> 0:26:45.080 but who is wearing their masks to protect us? It 0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:47.439 is an everyday struggle for the last nine months, and 0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:50.080 this is not going away. I am proud to say 0:26:50.119 --> 0:26:52.399 I'm receiving my second round of the vaccine tomorrow and 0:26:52.440 --> 0:26:54.200 I hope to do my part in ridding the world 0:26:54.200 --> 0:26:55.400 of this horrible virus. 0:26:55.840 --> 0:26:59.919 Thank you. My name is. 0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:05.439 Rebecca and I am a university climate scientist in North Carolina. 0:27:06.000 --> 0:27:07.840 Twenty twenty was going to be the year that my 0:27:07.960 --> 0:27:11.720 husband and I try to start a family. In late February, 0:27:11.760 --> 0:27:14.119 I took a pregnancy test and was more than a 0:27:14.119 --> 0:27:17.399 little surprised that it was positive. Because the timing was 0:27:17.440 --> 0:27:21.119 so soon after I'd had my birth control removed, I 0:27:21.119 --> 0:27:23.960 didn't know how pregnant I was, so I scheduled my 0:27:23.960 --> 0:27:26.879 first ultrasound for mid March, and my husband and I 0:27:26.880 --> 0:27:29.760 were really excited about getting to meet with the doctor 0:27:30.080 --> 0:27:31.080 and see our baby. 0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:32.880 But things were changing so. 0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:36.000 Quickly in North Carolina that by the time mid March 0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:39.720 got here, the obgin was only allowing patients, so I 0:27:39.720 --> 0:27:42.480 had to go by myself, but that was no problem. 0:27:42.840 --> 0:27:45.520 I found out I was about six weeks pregnant and 0:27:45.560 --> 0:27:48.240 things looked good, but it was too early for a heartbeat, 0:27:49.359 --> 0:27:52.680 so I scheduled a follow up ultrasound for three weeks later. 0:27:53.920 --> 0:27:57.240 And over those next three weeks, things did not go well. 0:27:57.920 --> 0:28:00.560 I started spotting, and I came in for blood work, 0:28:01.320 --> 0:28:04.359 and even though my pregnancy hormone levels were increasing, my 0:28:04.560 --> 0:28:05.879 spotting was getting worse. 0:28:06.320 --> 0:28:08.800 And so when I came in for that next ultrasound, 0:28:09.480 --> 0:28:13.280 I was pretty sure I'd miscarried. And I was right 0:28:14.880 --> 0:28:17.879 laying down on the table. 0:28:18.000 --> 0:28:21.760 Alone for those ten minutes while the Uldertown technician did 0:28:21.760 --> 0:28:25.480 her job, having to go back out into the waiting 0:28:25.520 --> 0:28:29.880 room alone to meet with the nurse, all while being 0:28:29.880 --> 0:28:33.159 surrounded by other women who are very visibly pregnant. I 0:28:33.320 --> 0:28:35.720 was thankful that I was wearing a mask so I 0:28:35.760 --> 0:28:39.680 could hide some of my crying, and then ultimately meeting 0:28:39.680 --> 0:28:42.320 with the nurse and not even being able to squeeze 0:28:42.320 --> 0:28:46.040 hands because we needed to socially distance. It was just 0:28:46.200 --> 0:28:51.920 an awful, awful day. I came in regularly over the 0:28:51.960 --> 0:28:54.520 next three weeks as I went through rounds of medication 0:28:54.760 --> 0:28:59.680 to complete the miscarriage, and that was ultimately unsuccessful, and 0:28:59.760 --> 0:29:03.840 I to have surgery, and going to a hospital no 0:29:03.920 --> 0:29:06.720 matter which wing, in the middle of a pandemic is 0:29:07.040 --> 0:29:10.760 nerve racking. The one and a half months that I 0:29:10.800 --> 0:29:13.800 went through my miscarriage happened to coincide with the start 0:29:13.800 --> 0:29:16.600 of lockdowns here in North Carolina, and our understanding of 0:29:17.040 --> 0:29:20.840 this disease and how it spreads was changing really quickly. 0:29:21.400 --> 0:29:23.040 So from one week to the next. 0:29:22.800 --> 0:29:25.800 I was wearing gloves into the office, leaving my mask 0:29:25.840 --> 0:29:27.920 in the car at first because it just felt weird 0:29:27.960 --> 0:29:30.680 to wear one, and then always wearing a mask because 0:29:30.720 --> 0:29:36.040 suddenly not having one now felt weird. COVID took what 0:29:36.280 --> 0:29:41.120 was already a pretty terrible and traumatic experience and just 0:29:41.200 --> 0:29:42.960 made it. 0:29:42.400 --> 0:29:43.760 So much more isolating. 0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:48.360 And the worst part is not knowing if I miscarried 0:29:48.640 --> 0:29:51.840 because miscarriages happened and this is just part of life, 0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.680 or if it was the immense stress of that period, 0:29:55.960 --> 0:29:59.880 or if I somehow had COVID and there's a relation 0:30:00.200 --> 0:30:01.960 shit we just don't know about yet. 0:30:04.680 --> 0:30:07.480 We'll pause here to take a break and be back 0:30:07.480 --> 0:30:35.360 with more stories in just a few minutes. Hi, my 0:30:35.480 --> 0:30:38.640 name is Samantha, and I've been struggling with depression and 0:30:38.720 --> 0:30:42.120 anxiety since I was four years old, and PTSD since 0:30:42.160 --> 0:30:45.120 I was six. I'm twenty three now, and I've spent 0:30:45.240 --> 0:30:47.520 a lot of time on finding the right medication and 0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:51.280 coping skills to survive these illnesses. I started my first 0:30:51.320 --> 0:30:54.520 semester at the University of Tennessee and discovered that COVID 0:30:54.600 --> 0:30:57.120 has not only stripped away the majority of my coping 0:30:57.160 --> 0:31:01.480 mechanisms for depression, anxiety, and PTSD, but it tripped away 0:31:01.480 --> 0:31:06.000 my study strategies. That, combined with three months of spotty WiFi, 0:31:06.240 --> 0:31:09.000 landed me back into the psychiatric hospital, where I was 0:31:09.040 --> 0:31:11.000 able to meet and talk with other people in the 0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:14.040 same boat. At the time I'm writing this, it's been 0:31:14.080 --> 0:31:17.360 two weeks since my stay at the hospital. My medicine 0:31:17.400 --> 0:31:19.520 isn't working the way it should, and I'm looking into 0:31:19.520 --> 0:31:21.920 finding a new psychiatrist to help me sort things out. 0:31:22.960 --> 0:31:26.760 Going to school during COVID is immensely difficult. At the 0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:29.480 start of the semester, everybody was new to the online 0:31:29.520 --> 0:31:33.000 learning process, which for me meant a lot of assignments 0:31:33.040 --> 0:31:35.120 fell through the cracks while I learned how to navigate 0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:38.240 the online environment and I couldn't ask for extensions for 0:31:38.280 --> 0:31:41.040 little assignments because the teachers were still figuring it out 0:31:41.040 --> 0:31:44.600 as well. What made learning the ropes especially difficult for 0:31:44.680 --> 0:31:47.160 me was that each of my teachers had their dashboards 0:31:47.160 --> 0:31:49.960 set up differently. On top of all this, my Wi 0:31:49.960 --> 0:31:52.480 Fi connection was really bad, despite paying a lot of 0:31:52.560 --> 0:31:55.200 money for it, and often cut out during my lessons. 0:31:55.720 --> 0:31:57.720 If it didn't turn back on before the end of class, 0:31:57.760 --> 0:31:59.440 I would have to wait for the recorded lecture to 0:31:59.440 --> 0:32:02.520 come out to cat later. The spotty WiFi made taking 0:32:02.560 --> 0:32:07.080 exams exponentially more difficult. Once, during the second round of exams, 0:32:07.080 --> 0:32:09.560 my WiFi cut out fifteen minutes before the start and 0:32:09.600 --> 0:32:11.320 I had to drive to my friend's house to use 0:32:11.360 --> 0:32:13.640 their Wi Fi. While I was there, there was a 0:32:13.680 --> 0:32:16.000 deadly crash on the highway leading back to my apartment, 0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:18.120 and I wasn't able to go home for two hours 0:32:18.120 --> 0:32:21.680 after I'd finished the exam. What made this so unbearable 0:32:21.760 --> 0:32:24.880 was that during this time I was so incredibly lonely. 0:32:25.640 --> 0:32:28.400 Making friends through Zoom classes with one hundred different people 0:32:28.600 --> 0:32:32.560 is difficult. Two weeks before finals, I experienced a major 0:32:32.560 --> 0:32:36.160 depressive episode. I couldn't eat, I woke up multiple times 0:32:36.160 --> 0:32:39.000 at night, covered in sweat from nightmares, and every time 0:32:39.080 --> 0:32:41.000 I tried to go to class I had a panic attack. 0:32:41.600 --> 0:32:44.560 After a week of intrusive suicidal thoughts and not being 0:32:44.560 --> 0:32:46.640 able to get out of bed, I checked myself into 0:32:46.640 --> 0:32:49.160 the hospital. It was there that I was able to 0:32:49.160 --> 0:32:52.920 meet and commiserate with people in similar situations. During one 0:32:52.960 --> 0:32:55.680 of our group therapy sessions, somebody asked the social worker 0:32:55.960 --> 0:32:58.560 if COVID nineteen had cost an increase in admittance to 0:32:58.600 --> 0:33:03.200 the psychiatric hospital. Surprisingly, the social workers said no. Admittance 0:33:03.240 --> 0:33:05.880 rates have remained stable, but of those who are coming 0:33:05.880 --> 0:33:08.720 to the hospital, many cite COVID nineteen as the reason 0:33:08.760 --> 0:33:11.680 they need help. What I learned from my stay is 0:33:11.720 --> 0:33:14.520 that it's important to remember that we are not alone 0:33:14.520 --> 0:33:18.000 in this fight. If your current coping mechanisms aren't working, 0:33:18.200 --> 0:33:21.160 you are not alone. There is help out there available 0:33:21.160 --> 0:33:23.560 to you. All you need to do is ask thank 0:33:23.600 --> 0:33:24.320 you for listening. 0:33:27.360 --> 0:33:27.719 Hi. 0:33:27.840 --> 0:33:31.440 My name is Stephanie. I'm a registered nurse originally from Australia. 0:33:32.240 --> 0:33:35.520 I came to London, UK to work as a nurse 0:33:35.640 --> 0:33:39.920 in late February twenty twenty, before COVID nineteen took control. 0:33:39.600 --> 0:33:40.040 Of the world. 0:33:40.880 --> 0:33:43.160 I'm now working on the front line helping people here 0:33:43.160 --> 0:33:46.080 in London as of right now are being fully vaccinated, 0:33:46.880 --> 0:33:50.600 but we still have a huge uphill battle here in London, 0:33:50.760 --> 0:33:53.280 as the death toll in the UK is well over 0:33:53.280 --> 0:33:56.880 one hundred thousand now. But the story I want to 0:33:56.920 --> 0:34:00.720 share is more about how I'm stuck here. As I 0:34:00.720 --> 0:34:04.400 said before, I'm from Australia. I accepted the job here 0:34:04.440 --> 0:34:08.480 in London back in October twenty nineteen. At the time, 0:34:08.560 --> 0:34:10.520 my plan was to live and work in London. On 0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:13.640 my days off, explore Europe and still fly home to 0:34:13.640 --> 0:34:16.960 see my friends and family about once a year. But 0:34:17.200 --> 0:34:20.399 it's looking like years, not months before I can see 0:34:20.400 --> 0:34:24.440 my family again. Australia has locked its borders to the 0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:27.080 rest of the world, and honestly it's for good reason. 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:30.040 If you just look at the infection numbers, as we 0:34:30.040 --> 0:34:32.680 were getting twenty thousand cases a day here in the UK, 0:34:32.880 --> 0:34:36.920 Australia often had zero. But this means Australians like me 0:34:37.320 --> 0:34:42.279 can't go home. I think the hardest period was during Christmas. 0:34:42.840 --> 0:34:45.759 A lot of my international colleagues at work were from 0:34:45.800 --> 0:34:50.480 either mainly in Europe or from the North Americas and 0:34:50.680 --> 0:34:52.680 a lot of them got to fly home to see 0:34:52.719 --> 0:34:56.320 their families. All they needed was a negative COVID nineteen test. 0:34:57.120 --> 0:35:01.520 But Australia it's by based with the government. You have 0:35:01.560 --> 0:35:06.040 to have good reason to visit Australia and with that 0:35:06.480 --> 0:35:09.320 you also have to pay for your full two week 0:35:09.719 --> 0:35:13.680 hotel quarantine. But the biggest issue I have is that 0:35:13.719 --> 0:35:16.120 I'm not time rich enough to do something like that, 0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:20.640 Like I'm a nurse and they're not really giving out 0:35:20.880 --> 0:35:23.760 and you'll leave during a pandemic to nurses in spades 0:35:23.840 --> 0:35:27.719 right now, And so I would find myself flying all 0:35:27.760 --> 0:35:30.080 the way down to spend two weeks alone in a 0:35:30.120 --> 0:35:32.960 hotel room, to then come out see my family for 0:35:33.000 --> 0:35:35.080 like two days before I have to jump back on 0:35:35.120 --> 0:35:39.000 a plane to fly back to the UK. After one 0:35:39.040 --> 0:35:42.440 month of living here in London, I got COVID nineteen. 0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:46.080 All my friends and family were in Australia. I had 0:35:46.080 --> 0:35:49.560 to nurse myself. I felt completely alone in my apartment. 0:35:49.640 --> 0:35:51.560 It was one of the scariest weeks of my life. 0:35:51.920 --> 0:35:54.439 I'd only been here for a month, so I hadn't 0:35:54.480 --> 0:35:56.480 been registered to the free health care here yet in 0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:58.839 the UK, so I had no idea how to even 0:35:58.880 --> 0:36:02.480 access health care if I need it. I remember laying 0:36:02.520 --> 0:36:05.279 in my bed, hearing the crackles in my chest as 0:36:05.320 --> 0:36:08.640 I was trying to breathe realizing that no one in 0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:11.600 this country knew me well enough to even come to 0:36:11.680 --> 0:36:13.640 my apartment to see if I was still alive in 0:36:13.680 --> 0:36:18.360 this bed. But I got over it. I still work 0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:23.239 every day right now. My life consists of going to work, 0:36:23.440 --> 0:36:26.680 back to my apartment and then repeat. London and the 0:36:26.760 --> 0:36:29.279 UK has been in some sort of hard lockdown for 0:36:29.320 --> 0:36:32.120 eight of the twelve months I've been here now. But 0:36:32.560 --> 0:36:35.920 I've never been so busy in my nursing career, and 0:36:35.960 --> 0:36:39.880 that includes crisis nursing during the Australian bushbyers of twenty nineteen. 0:36:40.800 --> 0:36:42.520 I'm very fortunate and lucky that I live in a 0:36:42.560 --> 0:36:45.760 world that I can video call my friends and family 0:36:45.800 --> 0:36:48.279 back home, But it isn't the same as being able 0:36:48.280 --> 0:36:51.160 to hug my mum and dad. If I knew it 0:36:51.200 --> 0:36:53.200 would be the last time I see them in years, 0:36:53.560 --> 0:36:57.080 not months, I definitely would have held them longer at 0:36:57.080 --> 0:36:59.320 Sydney Airport before I said bye goodbyes. 0:37:02.800 --> 0:37:05.320 I am an elementary school teacher at a small private 0:37:05.320 --> 0:37:08.200 school in one of our major cities here in the US. 0:37:08.760 --> 0:37:11.040 Back in March, we were thrust into online learning with 0:37:11.080 --> 0:37:14.520 little to no guidance or preparation and no experience whatsoever. 0:37:15.200 --> 0:37:18.759 We were expected to teach the students remotely, trying to 0:37:18.840 --> 0:37:21.440 learn how to use meat, Google, Classroom, and all of 0:37:21.440 --> 0:37:23.680 these websites that we had actually never even heard of, 0:37:24.640 --> 0:37:27.680 and teaching from home was incredibly difficult, especially having an 0:37:27.719 --> 0:37:31.799 infinitet home. My husband was working, as was I, and 0:37:31.840 --> 0:37:35.440 I was struggling to film live lessons as well as 0:37:35.440 --> 0:37:38.840 film lessons late into the night. The workload was intense, 0:37:38.880 --> 0:37:41.239 and I was on my computer from dawn until way 0:37:41.239 --> 0:37:44.600 past my normal bedtime. We all did our best, and 0:37:44.640 --> 0:37:47.479 we were met with a variety of responses. Many people 0:37:47.560 --> 0:37:51.520 were supportive, compassionate, and appreciative, while others constantly ripped us 0:37:51.520 --> 0:37:56.400 apart and demanded more, especially online. Reading online comments still 0:37:56.440 --> 0:37:59.799 is incredibly hurtful. Matters got worse in the fall when 0:37:59.800 --> 0:38:04.080 we return to the classroom. Many other school districts around 0:38:04.080 --> 0:38:06.520 the country have been remote, but we've been in person 0:38:06.600 --> 0:38:09.640 so far the entire year. Being with my students is 0:38:09.920 --> 0:38:12.359 so wonderful and I love forming the connections with them. 0:38:12.920 --> 0:38:15.520 I of course, would prefer to always be in school 0:38:15.520 --> 0:38:19.240 with them. However, I have both in school and remote students, 0:38:19.520 --> 0:38:22.720 as well as multiple classrooms. I have no lunch breaks, 0:38:22.760 --> 0:38:26.319 no preps aside from a bathroom break, and I spend 0:38:26.360 --> 0:38:30.400 the entire day in one of two classrooms. My workload 0:38:30.440 --> 0:38:32.200 is triple what it normally is, and I never have 0:38:32.239 --> 0:38:34.240 a moment to just sit and take a deep breath. 0:38:34.640 --> 0:38:37.280 The only time I have for that is my long commute. 0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:37.960 Home and to school. 0:38:39.160 --> 0:38:41.800 Many of the students are really far below grade level, 0:38:42.120 --> 0:38:44.360 and since we're six feet apart, it's impossible to do 0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:47.239 small group work or even one to one work. All 0:38:47.280 --> 0:38:50.400 of us teachers, especially at my school, make a horribly 0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:52.400 low wage, and we are stretched so thin. 0:38:52.360 --> 0:38:53.200 During a normal year. 0:38:53.960 --> 0:38:57.279 This year, we're really having a hard time. I absolutely 0:38:57.320 --> 0:39:00.200 love my job, I adore the students and the families. 0:39:00.960 --> 0:39:02.759 I just know that a lot of us teachers are 0:39:02.800 --> 0:39:06.880 really struggling this year. We're told to take care of ourselves, 0:39:07.440 --> 0:39:10.080 but how can we. We are struggling to even get 0:39:10.080 --> 0:39:13.920 through the day. We are heroes one minute, selfish the next, 0:39:14.560 --> 0:39:18.400 and I just really hope that things change soon. Nothing 0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:21.319 is more important to us teachers than the connections with 0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:24.359 our students, and we love these kids as if they. 0:39:24.239 --> 0:39:24.839 Are our own. 0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:28.040 But we are really having a hard time getting through 0:39:28.040 --> 0:39:31.040 this year, and we're also worried about our own safety. 0:39:31.960 --> 0:39:35.680 So just remember that next time you see a teacher, 0:39:36.080 --> 0:39:39.879 maybe give them wo I would say a high five, 0:39:39.960 --> 0:39:40.600 but don't do that. 0:39:41.440 --> 0:39:41.799 Thank you. 0:39:44.960 --> 0:39:47.360 For as long as I can remember, even before I 0:39:47.440 --> 0:39:50.960 understood it completely as a little girl, mental illness has 0:39:51.000 --> 0:39:53.680 been foremost in my mind. My family has been torn 0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:56.640 by it. Both my mom and my stepbrother have struggled 0:39:56.680 --> 0:40:01.000 with major depression for years. My mom also has kids, which, 0:40:01.080 --> 0:40:05.440 since it's coupled with depression, is differentiated as Skitzo effective disorder. 0:40:06.320 --> 0:40:10.480 My parents divorced years ago because of my mother's condition. 0:40:12.120 --> 0:40:14.279 They have made it hard for her to care for 0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:17.440 herself and as a result, she has some health conditions 0:40:17.480 --> 0:40:21.960 as well, including sleeping problems in type two diabetes. When 0:40:21.960 --> 0:40:23.680 the pandemic began, I knew it was going to be 0:40:23.680 --> 0:40:25.960 a difficult road, but I did not expect it to 0:40:26.040 --> 0:40:28.920 last as long as it has. I worried about my 0:40:29.040 --> 0:40:32.840 mom and my stepbrothers so much. My mom didn't understand 0:40:32.840 --> 0:40:35.520 why it was important to stay home. She would often 0:40:35.520 --> 0:40:39.000 forget to use her mask because of cognitive struggles due 0:40:39.040 --> 0:40:41.640 to the schizophrenia. I had to repeat over and over 0:40:41.680 --> 0:40:44.240 again the same talk that we had already had about 0:40:44.360 --> 0:40:46.640 how the virus could affect her and those around her. 0:40:47.360 --> 0:40:49.800 She hated being cooped up in the house, and although 0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:52.160 I tried to convince her not to, she went to 0:40:52.200 --> 0:40:55.319 the store to visit her friend's daily. I was away 0:40:55.360 --> 0:40:58.200 in Guatemala for the semester when she started having really 0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:01.480 extreme back pain, and one day when I talked to 0:41:01.520 --> 0:41:03.840 her on the phone, she told me that she was 0:41:03.840 --> 0:41:06.239 in so much pain that she wanted it to end. 0:41:06.400 --> 0:41:09.879 She just wanted to die. I tried to calm her down, 0:41:10.200 --> 0:41:14.000 to help her. Somehow I felt too far away. I 0:41:14.040 --> 0:41:17.800 felt powerless. That's how I felt towards my brother's situation 0:41:17.960 --> 0:41:22.200 as well. Many people had basically ignored his christ for help, 0:41:22.680 --> 0:41:25.160 claiming that it was attention seeking or that he would 0:41:25.160 --> 0:41:30.800 get over it soon enough. He was only fifteen, I think, 0:41:31.040 --> 0:41:34.960 when he started having these symptoms of depression, but as 0:41:35.000 --> 0:41:38.160 the pandemic wore on, he felt more and more isolated. 0:41:38.960 --> 0:41:41.960 He finally started going to counseling when he was allowed to, 0:41:42.080 --> 0:41:45.920 which helped a bit, but being away from people. He 0:41:46.000 --> 0:41:49.320 spent so many days just doing his online classes, playing 0:41:49.440 --> 0:41:52.880 video games, or listening to music, nothing more, and he 0:41:53.000 --> 0:41:56.000 was breaking. In talks that he had had with some 0:41:56.040 --> 0:41:58.600 of us siblings, he said that he just wanted it 0:41:58.600 --> 0:42:02.760 all to end. He felt like he made everything worse. 0:42:03.760 --> 0:42:07.000 We tried to console him as best we could, reassuring 0:42:07.040 --> 0:42:08.919 him that he had always been the one to cheer 0:42:09.000 --> 0:42:12.799 us up and to make us laugh. But with school 0:42:13.000 --> 0:42:17.000 and with our work and everything else, most of us 0:42:17.000 --> 0:42:20.800 were busy with our own stresses. I wish I hadn't 0:42:20.880 --> 0:42:23.520 been so busy, and I wish I hadn't been so 0:42:23.600 --> 0:42:27.520 far away. On January twenty first of this year, my 0:42:27.600 --> 0:42:30.239 dad sent me a message saying to call him, that 0:42:30.320 --> 0:42:33.560 it was an emergency. I was in an online class 0:42:33.600 --> 0:42:35.719 through Zoom, but I turned my camera off and called 0:42:35.800 --> 0:42:38.640 him as soon as I had seen the message. He 0:42:38.680 --> 0:42:42.080 told me that my brother took his own life. I 0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:45.279 didn't know what to do or what to say. I 0:42:45.400 --> 0:42:48.760 was stunned and sobbing, but I tried to hold back 0:42:49.040 --> 0:42:51.920 the tears. He left a huge hole in our family. 0:42:51.960 --> 0:42:56.080 My brother. I missed him so much. My siblings were 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.600 all able to be at his funeral, but I was 0:42:58.640 --> 0:43:01.719 in Guatemala still I couldn't come back, both because of 0:43:01.719 --> 0:43:05.600 travel restrictions and because of personal reasons. I saw the 0:43:05.640 --> 0:43:09.560 funeral over the internet. I have since had my own 0:43:09.600 --> 0:43:13.560 problems with my health, both mental and medical, which has 0:43:13.560 --> 0:43:15.920 been harder to cope with than ever. I don't know 0:43:15.960 --> 0:43:18.200 if my current mental state is just because of the 0:43:18.280 --> 0:43:20.799 stress and pain because of what has happened with my 0:43:20.880 --> 0:43:24.319 brother and with my mom, or if it's something that 0:43:24.360 --> 0:43:29.440 I have just tended well to hide until now. Since then, 0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:31.880 my siblings and I and many people that were closest 0:43:31.920 --> 0:43:36.000 to my brother have come closer, but we have also 0:43:36.040 --> 0:43:40.479 suffered big mental tolls from what happened. We're not doing good. 0:43:40.960 --> 0:43:45.120 I don't think anyone is right now. This pandemic has 0:43:45.160 --> 0:43:49.759 been so difficult for everyone, regardless of party alignment, religion, ethnicity, 0:43:49.840 --> 0:43:55.279 socioeconomic status. It's a bad one. I just hope that 0:43:55.360 --> 0:43:59.279 we can come closer. Although we're mourning, I pray that 0:43:59.320 --> 0:44:02.040 we've become better towards each other, and we stopped judging 0:44:02.080 --> 0:44:05.200 those around us and acting like their problems don't matter 0:44:05.360 --> 0:44:08.720 or are less significant than our own. We're all fighting 0:44:08.760 --> 0:44:13.239 our own battles and we need each other now, during 0:44:13.280 --> 0:44:16.960 the pandemic and always. 0:44:19.640 --> 0:44:23.400 My name is Katie and I'm from Topeka, Kansas. I 0:44:23.480 --> 0:44:27.000 gave birth to our first child in January. In March, 0:44:27.239 --> 0:44:30.600 right after coming off of maternity leave, I changed jobs 0:44:30.680 --> 0:44:32.880 and had to move out of state from my partner 0:44:32.920 --> 0:44:36.000 for three months. This had all been in the works 0:44:36.080 --> 0:44:39.080 way before COVID, but we happened to move me the 0:44:39.160 --> 0:44:43.040 same week everything started shutting down. Even before COVID, I 0:44:43.080 --> 0:44:46.960 had been experiencing symptoms of postpartum depression, but after COVID 0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:50.759 it really ramped up. The isolation and inability to go 0:44:50.840 --> 0:44:53.439 anywhere to take a break from the baby really made 0:44:53.440 --> 0:44:57.239 things worse. Everyone kept saying, won't make time for self care, 0:44:57.760 --> 0:45:00.319 but it's impossible when most of your usual se care 0:45:00.360 --> 0:45:03.680 activities are based on leaving the house, going to movies, 0:45:03.719 --> 0:45:07.279 coffee shops, etc. I'm only just starting to come out 0:45:07.280 --> 0:45:10.480 of the postpartum depression now. I know other moms must 0:45:10.520 --> 0:45:12.640 be going through this too, but there really isn't a 0:45:12.680 --> 0:45:13.640 platform for it. 0:45:14.520 --> 0:45:15.120 My son is. 0:45:15.080 --> 0:45:17.000 Almost a year old now and has yet to meet 0:45:17.000 --> 0:45:20.040 another baby his age, or really any kid in general. 0:45:20.680 --> 0:45:23.080 I know he'll be fine, but I wish we could 0:45:23.080 --> 0:45:26.120 have experienced the normal mother baby bonding of playgroups and 0:45:26.160 --> 0:45:29.520 park outings. Maybe that would have made things a little 0:45:29.520 --> 0:45:30.160 bit easier. 0:45:33.080 --> 0:45:35.680 Hi there, My name is Kay Crawford. I am in 0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:39.400 my mid twenties and I currently live in Lexington, Kentucky. 0:45:40.120 --> 0:45:44.240 I work as a therapeutic child support worker who works 0:45:44.280 --> 0:45:48.560 with youth that are on the autism spectrum and are 0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:51.279 also part of the foster care system. I used to 0:45:51.280 --> 0:45:53.960 work for a big grocery store chain in the pickup 0:45:54.000 --> 0:45:56.520 department and was there when the first wave of the 0:45:56.520 --> 0:46:01.080 COVID nineteen pandemic occurred. My department was notified in late 0:46:01.080 --> 0:46:03.960 February of changes occurring due to a rise in this 0:46:04.120 --> 0:46:09.640 new illness. Myself, norma coworkers, knew very much about. I 0:46:09.640 --> 0:46:12.040 didn't think it was going to be severe, maybe like 0:46:12.080 --> 0:46:17.240 the flu. I was very wrong. We were also informed 0:46:17.239 --> 0:46:19.760 about a possible lockdown and how our number of orders 0:46:19.800 --> 0:46:22.960 were going to increase and march rolls in and that's 0:46:23.000 --> 0:46:27.200 when everything changed. The number of our orders increased dramatically, 0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:33.400 but the way customers reacted to us also changed. Customers 0:46:33.400 --> 0:46:37.239 were scared, they were confused, and they didn't want any 0:46:37.280 --> 0:46:42.200 contact with any others, with any other person than themselves. 0:46:42.880 --> 0:46:44.840 Some of the customers were very nice to us in 0:46:44.880 --> 0:46:47.640 the beginning, stating that we were keeping the country going 0:46:47.760 --> 0:46:52.960 alongside the healthcare workers. However, as a lockdown persisted, customers 0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:56.840 became ruder and their suspect we were given wasn't there anymore. 0:46:57.680 --> 0:46:59.840 Customers would scream at us because the store i'd been 0:47:00.040 --> 0:47:03.040 wiped out of certain items that we had no control over, 0:47:03.480 --> 0:47:07.520 and our management weren't really the kindest to us either, 0:47:07.680 --> 0:47:10.960 pushing us to do more and more, even though we 0:47:10.960 --> 0:47:15.600 were already doing the most that we possibly could. That's 0:47:15.640 --> 0:47:20.000 when our mental health really took a toll. Many of 0:47:20.000 --> 0:47:23.960 my coworkers and myself had been working very long hours, 0:47:24.200 --> 0:47:27.920 even over time, non stop. The grocery chain gave us 0:47:28.000 --> 0:47:31.440 hero pay, which only lasted about a month before it 0:47:31.440 --> 0:47:35.879 became too costly and was taken away. We were also 0:47:35.960 --> 0:47:38.520 risking our health by being at work. Our department is 0:47:38.560 --> 0:47:41.960 not big, so coworkers cannot conform to the six foot rule. 0:47:42.719 --> 0:47:47.160 We're basically standing on top of each other deep cleaning. 0:47:47.200 --> 0:47:49.840 But a grocery chain was spoken about as if it 0:47:49.880 --> 0:47:55.080 had happened, but we didn't see it. As I said, 0:47:55.440 --> 0:47:59.279 mental health suffered. People considered friends were getting tired of 0:47:59.320 --> 0:48:03.800 each other, and because we were always around them, where 0:48:03.960 --> 0:48:07.680 arguments of bad feelings became a prevalent situation for us, 0:48:08.520 --> 0:48:14.799 we didn't really have that system of distraction that we 0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:17.880 normally had. We just we couldn't go to restaurants, we 0:48:17.880 --> 0:48:23.239 couldn't go to movies, we couldn't simply be outside to decompress, 0:48:23.840 --> 0:48:27.920 and because of that, a lot of us suffered burnout. 0:48:28.760 --> 0:48:32.359 What I hope a lot of people understand is that 0:48:33.440 --> 0:48:40.879 mental health is very important, and it is very important 0:48:41.000 --> 0:48:46.080 to those essential workers that might not be in the 0:48:46.080 --> 0:48:51.680 healthcare field but are still doing stuff every day for 0:48:52.920 --> 0:48:59.440 the functioning of society. My coworkers and I, we were 0:48:59.480 --> 0:49:03.920 on our feet constantly. Some of us never took our breaks, 0:49:04.640 --> 0:49:07.399 some of us had to be forced to take our 0:49:07.440 --> 0:49:13.040 breaks even though we were extremely busy, and we had 0:49:13.200 --> 0:49:17.560 customers screaming at us almost every day, and we were 0:49:17.600 --> 0:49:22.880 just constantly busy. And now, yes, that is nothing like 0:49:23.120 --> 0:49:27.600 what the healthcare workers experienced, and I don't want to 0:49:27.680 --> 0:49:33.960 say that we are as equal as them, but mental health, 0:49:34.360 --> 0:49:38.920 as I just said, is very important and a lot 0:49:39.080 --> 0:49:46.880 of my coworkers talked about quitting our department. The pickup 0:49:46.880 --> 0:49:50.600 department in this grocery store chain is very high stress 0:49:51.600 --> 0:49:57.319 and we are very much required to be fast, and 0:49:57.400 --> 0:50:02.040 when that doesn't happen, quinces come, which leads to more 0:50:02.080 --> 0:50:08.200 burnout and which leads to people being drained and people 0:50:09.520 --> 0:50:16.080 not being able to do their job efficiently. And as 0:50:16.200 --> 0:50:23.600 this pandemic persists, the mental health struggle is probably going 0:50:23.640 --> 0:50:27.840 to persist as well. And while I'm glad that i 0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:32.200 had a job during the pandemic, I'm very happy to 0:50:32.239 --> 0:50:34.359 have moved on into the job that I have now. 0:50:37.360 --> 0:50:40.279 My name's Robin and as I'm recording, this is day 0:50:40.320 --> 0:50:43.359 two of the third national lockdown here in the UK. 0:50:44.360 --> 0:50:47.200 The majority of my COVID nineteen experience is probably very 0:50:47.239 --> 0:50:50.399 similar to them to everybody else's. I've lost my job, 0:50:50.560 --> 0:50:53.640 I've feared for the health and safety of loved ones, 0:50:53.680 --> 0:50:56.880 some of which have had COVID and managed to thankfully 0:50:56.880 --> 0:51:00.840 pull through without too many complications. I barely left my 0:51:01.200 --> 0:51:08.120 house since February March time last year, and overall it's 0:51:08.160 --> 0:51:15.359 been a pretty terrifying and just completely bewildering experience. But 0:51:15.400 --> 0:51:17.319 there has been one really good thing to come out 0:51:17.360 --> 0:51:21.520 of it that has allowed me to look at the 0:51:21.560 --> 0:51:24.320 whole situation in a much more positive light that maybe 0:51:24.440 --> 0:51:28.680 others haven't had the chance to do. At the end 0:51:28.680 --> 0:51:32.640 of February last year, I started talking to my girlfriend. 0:51:33.480 --> 0:51:36.120 We were just arranging to meet up when the UK 0:51:36.440 --> 0:51:39.759 went into its first lockdown, and so we were kind 0:51:39.760 --> 0:51:42.160 of stuck on what we were going to do, how 0:51:42.160 --> 0:51:46.319 we were going to proceed. The time that lockdown gave 0:51:46.400 --> 0:51:49.200 us allowed us to really get to know each other, 0:51:49.640 --> 0:51:52.600 and over the three months, the three initial months of 0:51:52.680 --> 0:51:55.319 the first lockdown here in the UK that we were 0:51:55.360 --> 0:51:57.480 able to talk, we really got to know each other 0:51:57.480 --> 0:51:59.120 on a level that I don't think would have been 0:51:59.160 --> 0:52:05.400 possible had we dated in a way that is or 0:52:05.640 --> 0:52:09.600 was the normal for people here in the UK. When 0:52:09.600 --> 0:52:12.040 we did finally get to meet three months after three 0:52:12.080 --> 0:52:15.160 months of talking, while there was a massive amount of 0:52:15.760 --> 0:52:18.480 pressure to live up to this hype that we kind 0:52:18.520 --> 0:52:22.120 of built for each other, it was like meeting someone 0:52:22.160 --> 0:52:26.200 that I'd known for my whole life, and it was 0:52:26.400 --> 0:52:31.360 an easy transition into talking to this person that I'd 0:52:31.560 --> 0:52:35.240 met online at the beginning of a lockdown and really 0:52:35.280 --> 0:52:38.200 gotten to know to then finally being able to meet 0:52:38.200 --> 0:52:42.799 them in person. When lockdown restrictions started to ease, we 0:52:42.800 --> 0:52:45.080 were able to spend a lot of time together and 0:52:45.400 --> 0:52:48.080 we've been together ever since and it's amazing and I'm 0:52:48.160 --> 0:52:51.560 so incredibly thankful. But right now we're in the third 0:52:51.640 --> 0:52:53.799 national lockdown here in the UK, and it's been a 0:52:53.840 --> 0:52:56.359 month since I saw her, and I expect it will 0:52:56.400 --> 0:52:58.960 be at least another two months since I see her. 0:53:00.120 --> 0:53:02.360 Massively grateful for the time we got to spend to 0:53:02.400 --> 0:53:06.719 spend together when lockdown was eased over the summer. It's 0:53:07.400 --> 0:53:12.600 difficult to now go back to having no contacts apart 0:53:12.719 --> 0:53:16.959 from text messages and phone calls. I miss her a lot, 0:53:18.120 --> 0:53:19.640 and we're trying to make the best of it, but 0:53:19.719 --> 0:53:23.560 it is hard. At the same time, though it is 0:53:23.680 --> 0:53:25.400 this light at the end of the tunnel, it's a 0:53:25.440 --> 0:53:28.880 reason to make sure that we're doing the best we 0:53:29.000 --> 0:53:33.399 can to get through lockdown and the pandemic, and we 0:53:33.480 --> 0:53:38.200 know that doing our bit to keep infection rates down, 0:53:38.320 --> 0:53:42.200 wearing masks, washing hands, keeping distances, just staying inside as 0:53:42.280 --> 0:53:44.480 much as we can is going to help us to 0:53:44.520 --> 0:53:46.440 be able to see each other as soon as we can. 0:53:47.680 --> 0:53:49.879 I've had so many people say to me, you know, 0:53:49.960 --> 0:53:53.000 how how have you managed, Robin? How have you managed 0:53:53.000 --> 0:53:56.080 to land yourself in a relationship with someone that you 0:53:56.160 --> 0:53:58.200 want to spend the rest of your life with during 0:53:58.280 --> 0:54:01.279 a time when people can't see each other and new 0:54:01.320 --> 0:54:03.439 people can't really meet. And to be honest, I don't 0:54:03.480 --> 0:54:07.160 really know how I've managed it, but I have and 0:54:07.200 --> 0:54:12.080 I'm so incredibly grateful that I have done that somehow, 0:54:12.719 --> 0:54:15.920 And I just want people to know that there is 0:54:16.600 --> 0:54:19.520 light in every situation. And it's hard. I know, it's 0:54:19.560 --> 0:54:22.560 so difficult out there in every part of the world 0:54:22.600 --> 0:54:25.839 at the moment. But if you can find some light 0:54:25.880 --> 0:54:29.000 to hold on to, then there is a promise that 0:54:29.120 --> 0:54:33.480 this pandemic will be over sooner rather than later if 0:54:33.520 --> 0:54:36.840 we keep everything crossed and do what we can to 0:54:36.960 --> 0:54:38.879 ensure that those infection rapes stay low. 0:55:14.080 --> 0:55:16.680 Thank you again to everyone who has shared their firsthand 0:55:16.680 --> 0:55:20.279 experience with us. We know that telling these stories and 0:55:20.320 --> 0:55:24.120 reliving these experiences isn't easy, and we are so so 0:55:24.160 --> 0:55:24.920 grateful to you. 0:55:25.440 --> 0:55:30.040 Yeah, thank you. We usually wrap up these COVID nineteen 0:55:30.080 --> 0:55:34.360 episodes with a top five things that we've learned, but 0:55:34.640 --> 0:55:38.000 we don't really have that for this episode. I think 0:55:38.080 --> 0:55:40.920 there are so many things that we've learned throughout this 0:55:41.000 --> 0:55:45.520 pandemic about ourselves and about our relationships and our connection 0:55:45.640 --> 0:55:49.000 to the world around us. But maybe if there's one 0:55:49.040 --> 0:55:52.680 thing to take away from this episode, or this pandemic 0:55:52.800 --> 0:55:56.799 even is that every one of us, every person has 0:55:56.840 --> 0:56:02.960 their own struggles, their own experiences, their own challenges, hopes, fears, dreams, 0:56:03.880 --> 0:56:09.880 entire lives and remembering that showing empathy. It's so incredibly important. 0:56:10.560 --> 0:56:15.600 Yeah, it really really is. Again, thank you, Thank you. 0:56:15.920 --> 0:56:19.480 Thank you to everyone who for this episode, for all 0:56:19.520 --> 0:56:23.120 of our episodes, for everyone who wrote in, thank you 0:56:23.200 --> 0:56:26.239 for sharing your stories with us. Thank you. 0:56:27.200 --> 0:56:29.799 Thank you also to Bloodmobile for providing the music for 0:56:29.880 --> 0:56:32.160 this episode and every one of our episodes. 0:56:32.640 --> 0:56:36.520 Thank you to everyone who supports us on Patreon. You 0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:38.800 are amazing. It's unbelievable. 0:56:38.880 --> 0:56:39.200 Thank you. 0:56:40.080 --> 0:56:42.399 Thank you also to the Exactly Right Network, of whom 0:56:42.440 --> 0:56:43.920 we're very proud to be a part. 0:56:44.120 --> 0:56:47.399 And thank you to you listeners who tune in week 0:56:47.440 --> 0:56:53.000 after week and listen to us say stuff. It's still remarkable. 0:56:53.600 --> 0:56:54.920 People want to hear our voices. 0:56:55.239 --> 0:56:58.160 Yeah, yeah, hopefully this was a nice break hearing everyone 0:56:58.160 --> 0:56:59.040 else's voices. 0:56:59.600 --> 0:57:04.240 Yeah. Yeah, well, until next time, wash your hands 0:57:04.360 --> 0:57:05.520 You filthy animals.