WEBVTT - Like a Trash Bin

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<v Speaker 1>What you have to understand is in Great Britain, they

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<v Speaker 1>call a garbage can a bin. It's one more thing. What?

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<v Speaker 1>Armstrong and Getty. One more thing. Like a trash bin.

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<v Speaker 2>Now that's a tease. I came across this tweet from J.K.

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<v Speaker 2>Rowling before we get to that. She's. She's pretty snarky.

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<v Speaker 2>She's the one who wrote the Harry Potter books and

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<v Speaker 2>seems to spend her entire life battling people on Twitter

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<v Speaker 2>about the trans issue. If I became a billionaire, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know that that's what I'd do with my time. But,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, whatever she enjoys. Somebody had some trans activist

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<v Speaker 2>person who appears to be trans had tweeted out. Trans

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<v Speaker 2>acceptance will not be complete until cis people are okay

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<v Speaker 2>with the idea of not knowing what genitals their date

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<v Speaker 2>has until they have sex.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, good idea.

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<v Speaker 2>It's literally so very not a big deal. So you

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<v Speaker 2>want to live in a world where I meet somebody,

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<v Speaker 2>don't know whether they got a penis or not, don't care,

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<v Speaker 2>and find out The first time we get intimate, and

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<v Speaker 2>I'm perfectly okay with whichever it is. Whatever it turns

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<v Speaker 2>out to be, yeah. That's the world you're hoping for.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, two innies, two outies, one of each, whatever.

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<v Speaker 2>It's fine. I'm sure we're on, I'm sure we're marching

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<v Speaker 2>that direction, and someday that's the world we will live in.

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<v Speaker 1>That is so crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, J.K. Rowling's pretty funny response was, tricky. Because I

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<v Speaker 2>already know what genitals my husband has. Would you accept

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<v Speaker 2>both of us acting surprised once we're naked? Or could

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<v Speaker 2>we just shake hands first and agree that we'll soldier

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<v Speaker 2>on if something's changed since last time?

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<v Speaker 1>That is dryly fabulous.

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<v Speaker 2>But that, I mean, the whole thing, obviously, has been

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<v Speaker 2>a complicated conversation. But the idea that you think the

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<v Speaker 2>perfect world would be I don't care. I'm not interested.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm willing to wait until the first time we

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<v Speaker 2>show each other. And then I will react with no

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<v Speaker 2>emotion whatsoever to either a penis or a vagina. It

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter to me. I have no interest whatsoever.

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<v Speaker 1>It reminds me of our discussion that until fairly recently,

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<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't have the slightest idea what somebody's politics were.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're just meeting with perhaps a romantic prospect in mind,

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<v Speaker 1>not only would you not care, you wouldn't even think

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<v Speaker 1>of it, not like for a really long time. They want...

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<v Speaker 1>Your actual physical sex to be that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'll bet there they do want to know that.

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<v Speaker 2>So like your dating profiles and everything like that, you

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<v Speaker 2>would have to nail down your politics. You would discuss

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<v Speaker 2>what kind of music you like and all kinds of

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<v Speaker 2>different issues. But the one that we're not going to

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<v Speaker 2>even touch is whether you got a penis or a vagina.

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<v Speaker 2>We'll just discover that together someday. And by the way,

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't matter to me what you have, which is

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<v Speaker 2>so crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>I might not even remark on it. Having found out.

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<v Speaker 2>Because you see, when I get to that moment, I'm really, really,

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<v Speaker 2>really fingers crossed, toes crossed.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a vagina. I have specific intent. Yes.

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<v Speaker 3>My brain is going, this could be a reality show.

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<v Speaker 3>You know, they do like married at first sight.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like I saw, I think Netflix or somebody had

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<v Speaker 2>one a while back where everybody kept their age to

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<v Speaker 2>themselves because it was a bunch of people that don't

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<v Speaker 2>look their age. So you didn't tell anybody your age

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<v Speaker 2>and then they got together. And then I guess I

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<v Speaker 2>never watched long enough because it was so stupid to

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<v Speaker 2>get to the big reveal.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm actually 63. Oh my God. You are?

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<v Speaker 2>In this case, it'll be, I was really hoping for

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<v Speaker 2>a giant egg because that would fit. That would fit

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<v Speaker 2>with my penis thing really perfectly. I mean, they go

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<v Speaker 2>together like peanut butter and jelly. I mean, like Abbott

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<v Speaker 2>and Costello. It's really a good team. But here we

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<v Speaker 2>are with two penises, so I don't know what now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah. Well, you shouldn't even care. You bigot.

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<v Speaker 3>Right.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't care.

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<v Speaker 1>It doesn't matter to me.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to react exactly the same no matter which

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<v Speaker 2>it turns out to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Anybody got an idea for what the show would be called?

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<v Speaker 1>What's my junk?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's got more of a game show aspect to it.

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<v Speaker 1>All right.

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<v Speaker 2>Where you would just, you'd have contestants and a buzzer.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly. Behind the fly.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's a man who has man. And then

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<v Speaker 2>they walk around, they drop their pants and you take

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<v Speaker 2>a look.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, more bigotry. A man can have a vagina, Jack. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>I shouldn't have used that. Remember.

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<v Speaker 2>Stop using gendered language.

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<v Speaker 1>You're such a transphobe.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, so what's your little story, Katie, before.

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<v Speaker 1>We get to Joe?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, it is so little compared to that topic we

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<v Speaker 3>just had. I had to go into mama bear mode

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<v Speaker 3>at the store over the weekend. So I had Van,

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<v Speaker 3>my little three-month-old in the stroller. Cute.

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<v Speaker 2>Cute. And I have to tell you, old ladies, they

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<v Speaker 2>love babies, man. No doubt. They love the babies.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm standing there waiting for someone to get the

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<v Speaker 3>hell out of the way because everybody seems to always

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<v Speaker 3>be in the way when you're at the store. But anyway,

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<v Speaker 3>this woman comes up and she goes, oh, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Just love babies.

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<v Speaker 3>And she pulls the visor back on the stroller.

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<v Speaker 2>Hands off the stroller, lady.

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<v Speaker 1>And kind of like reach, like, it.

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<v Speaker 2>Was like slow motion. She looked like she was going

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<v Speaker 2>to reach for him.

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<v Speaker 3>So I kind of put my arm out and I

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<v Speaker 3>was like, Yeah, isn't he adorable? And she kind of like,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, snapped her hands back.

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<v Speaker 2>To go with what we were just talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>The balls on that woman. The balls on that woman.

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<v Speaker 1>I could never. Out of bounds.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Just comes up, cranks the thing back, and I'm like, oh.

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<v Speaker 2>I remember that, too. They're so willing to get up

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<v Speaker 2>so close and start touching your baby.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, dude.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Ma'am. Almost punched an elderly woman. That was my story

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<v Speaker 3>from the beginning.

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<v Speaker 2>I would never think of touching somebody else's baby. Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah. And just cranking the thing back on the stroller?

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<v Speaker 2>Right.

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<v Speaker 1>Here, let me take a look.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, let me see what's in there, huh? Let me

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<v Speaker 2>stick my finger in his mouth. I don't feel any

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<v Speaker 2>teeth in there yet, huh? Anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow. Can I stick my finger in your son's belly button?

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<v Speaker 3>No, you cannot, Michael.

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<v Speaker 1>Give him a little tickle. Good Lord, people. Don't do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, if you don't know to not do this,

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<v Speaker 1>you're probably not listening to this podcast. True.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, so the whole, in the UK, they call

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<v Speaker 1>a garbage can a bin, a dust bin. Again, fascinating stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Or what have you. I mention that because the anti-establishment,

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<v Speaker 1>how would you describe the whole phenomenon that brought on

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<v Speaker 1>Brexit and Trump and all the crazy political movements going

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<v Speaker 1>on in the developed world? It's just discontent in some sort.

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<v Speaker 2>We're just unhappy with the way things are. Throw the

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<v Speaker 2>bums out, whoever the bums are.

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<v Speaker 1>When that numbskull who will last probably six weeks became

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<v Speaker 1>prime minister, his seat in parliament opened up, I guess.

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<v Speaker 1>It's an odd system. But Nigel Farage, the weirdly, is

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<v Speaker 1>he right-wing reform UK leader, is running for the seat.

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<v Speaker 1>And they had a runoff. top two vote getters advanced

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<v Speaker 1>to the final much like, you know, our elections in

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<v Speaker 1>some cases, but, uh, and Farage was the number one finisher.

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<v Speaker 1>The number two finisher was count bin face, the self-described

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<v Speaker 1>intergalactic space warrior, who is a guy who goes around

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<v Speaker 1>in a homemade, but extremely well-made like spaceman outfit. But his,

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<v Speaker 1>he has like a garbage can face. Are you looking

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<v Speaker 1>at his costume right now, Katie? No, I'm on my

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<v Speaker 1>way there. Oh, I should have been face. Oh, there's

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<v Speaker 1>been face.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, it's a good, good costume, isn't it? Yeah, it's great. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Text that to the crew. I should have earlier, but.

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<v Speaker 3>He reminds me of like a dubstep DJ. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>they always have the big things on their heads and

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<v Speaker 3>they're up there spinning.

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<v Speaker 1>No, I have no idea what that is. Why?

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<v Speaker 2>Why did you decide to have a garbage can for

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<v Speaker 2>a head?

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's a comment on the politics of great Britain.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Count garbage can face is going to, I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>it's the Bodie McBoat face of candidates and he's in

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<v Speaker 1>the runoff. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Zap that around Katie.

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<v Speaker 1>It's on its way. Okay, great.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a feeling he's going to win.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a, he might beat Nigel Farage. It's certainly possible.

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<v Speaker 1>It depends how alienated Brits are really. There it is.

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<v Speaker 2>That's a pretty good costume.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, isn't it? A little slip for his eyes lights up. Oh,

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<v Speaker 1>that's nice. So he's got a garbage can head that

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<v Speaker 1>he can look through like a portal, like he's a

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<v Speaker 1>Disney character, not a Disney World or something, Disneyland. And

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<v Speaker 1>it appears he's got some hockey shoulder pads painted black

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<v Speaker 1>and like a weird groin covering thing. Anyway, he has

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<v Speaker 1>unveiled his manifesto. His full manifesto is actually some pretty

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<v Speaker 1>brilliant political satire. It is a 20-point plan. One, I

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<v Speaker 1>will boost the region's economy, prestige, and fame. Two, I

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<v Speaker 1>will cut your taxes and raise everyone else's. Let's see.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. It's pounds, but I'm going to say

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<v Speaker 1>a dollar just to simplify. Bus fares will be capped

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<v Speaker 1>at $ 1. 99 and 99 flake ice creams to cost more

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<v Speaker 1>than 99 cents. That must be a thing in Britain.

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<v Speaker 1>I promise to spend more time in my district than

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<v Speaker 1>in Washington, D.C., and to champion the area. Wow. Let's see. MPs,

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<v Speaker 1>members of parliament who resign mid-parliament, will be barred from

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<v Speaker 1>the resulting by-election. Okay, that's a comment. I pledge to

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<v Speaker 1>build at least one affordable house. I like this guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Arcade grabber games will be made fairer so players actually

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<v Speaker 1>have a chance to win. Finally.

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<v Speaker 2>Now that's funny. My kids would be all for that.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm voting for that guy.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's see. Skipping ahead. Arcade grabber games. There will be

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<v Speaker 1>a windfall tax on cozy crime novels written by written

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<v Speaker 1>by celebrities. I have a feeling that's a comment on

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<v Speaker 1>something that's happened in Britain, but that's funny. Uh, let's see.

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<v Speaker 1>Potholes will be filled using copies of the labor party manifesto. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>let's see. Um, people who drive past Clacton station, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the town with annoyingly loud exhausts will lose their driver's licenses. Um,

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<v Speaker 1>Let's see. We will hold a referendum on whether Pluto

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<v Speaker 1>should regain its planet status. The hand dryer in the

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<v Speaker 1>gent's toilet at the Great Himalayas restaurant, Southport, will be

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<v Speaker 1>moved to a more sensible position. I like that one.

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<v Speaker 2>It's very specific.

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<v Speaker 1>It's his favorite restaurant, I guess. Count Binface will represent

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<v Speaker 1>the UK at Eurovision 2027. That's the big pop music

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<v Speaker 1>contest that Britain has. So he's declaring himself the representative.

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<v Speaker 1>And he says, I stand by my past manifestos. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what that is. Speaker phones. Nationalizing Adele. Like,

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<v Speaker 1>he's nationalizing the oil industry. I read his argument. He

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<v Speaker 1>was like, all of her songs are practically public domain anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>so we should be getting her... Her royalties. Let's see.

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<v Speaker 1>There it is.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>That's pretty good.

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<v Speaker 1>I will lower your taxes and raise everyone else's. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>That is good.

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<v Speaker 2>We're in a snarky mood, Western civilization.

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<v Speaker 1>He could win.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm-hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>Count Binface.

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<v Speaker 2>When's the election?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. They just held the... Yeah, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know when the big election is coming up. I will

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<v Speaker 1>have to check.

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<v Speaker 2>But he made the top two.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Well done, Count. And, you know, it represents the

0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:49.210
<v Speaker 1>tradition of royalty as well as a nobleman.

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<v Speaker 2>I wonder where the hand dryer is. Sometimes they're, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>like right behind the door. So you're going to get

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<v Speaker 2>whacked in the head while you're trying to stand there.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, not anymore. Not if Count Binface gets elected.

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<v Speaker 2>Katie, the old lady who waters the produce in the

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<v Speaker 2>grocery store, she wants to blow raspberries on your son's stomach.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I guess that's it.