1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: I told my pregnant daughter, I will have nothing to 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: do with raising our baby. I am a fifty six 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: year old mother to a thirty three year old Kelly. Mmm. 4 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: Hell loa, it's like like not a not a daughter, 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:19,000 Speaker 1: just a Kelly. Her name is Kelly and grandmother to 6 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: a sixteen year old Ople. 7 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:22,319 Speaker 2: It's a great name. 8 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,759 Speaker 1: Love that name. It's cute. I like it, beautyful as 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:32,920 Speaker 1: an Opal. Kelly became pregnant with Opal at sixteen. Yikes, 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,920 Speaker 1: rough man, sixteen man. My husband Eddie and I've always 11 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: believed in having the right to choose. However, Kelly insisted 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: that she wanted to keep the baby and not give 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:45,840 Speaker 1: it up for adoption. Okay, there you have it. Damn. 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 1: That's that's committment. So that's a bold move, bold move. 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: We helped a lot as Kelly was only seventeen when 16 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,319 Speaker 1: Ople was born, which I hope the parents would help 17 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,279 Speaker 1: a lot. Dude, Like having a kid at seventeen, yeah, man, 18 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: it's gotta be really hard, super tough. However, Kelly would 19 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,440 Speaker 1: rarely help with parenting even when she was available. It's like, 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: do your chores be your baby. 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 3: And so yeah, literally, it's like so crazy because They're 22 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 3: like like an angsty teenager. It's like, no, Mom, I'm 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 3: listening to the new Britney Spear CD. Stop bothering me. 24 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 3: It's like bruh as your. 25 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 1: Child, Well to update it for for this generation? What 26 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: you listening to the new Olivio Rego. 27 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 3: BTS just dropped a new album. Come on, they did 28 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,399 Speaker 3: just drop a new album, by the way, BTS just did. Yeah, 29 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 3: you're just fucking bumping BTS and my year olds all day. 30 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 1: Even asking her to watch Opal for an hour while 31 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 1: we ran errands was an issue. It was rare that 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,600 Speaker 1: Kelly wouldn't complain about why she had to be there 33 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: to look after Opal. It's your freaking kid, bro, you 34 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:05,559 Speaker 1: wanted this, oh man. Kelly chose not to attend college. 35 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 1: After graduation, she had a job with a flexible schedule, 36 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: yet she rarely made herself available for opel. Kelly was 37 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,000 Speaker 1: only home to sleep or get dressed for some party. 38 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: She also relied on us to purchase supplies and book 39 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: appointments for Ople. Eddie and I would have serious talks 40 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: with Kelly that she needed to step up as a parent. 41 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: Kelly would only make empty promises and never follow through 42 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: with them. Oh man, Kelly's not a good mom. Yeah, dude, 43 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,639 Speaker 1: I would have expected more from a seventeen year old 44 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: love just kidding, young teenager. Why aren't you the perfect mom? 45 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: I don't understand, but I don't know what you do 46 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: as a parent, Like if your kid really wants to 47 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 1: keep the kid like, you can't say, like, well. 48 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:45,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you gonna say? 49 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 3: No? I mean, yeah, you're gonna keep it. So and 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 3: so it's like it's like an angsty team. Like you're 51 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 3: usually fighting over like you know, come back, come back 52 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 3: before eleven thirty, not like change your child's diapers are Like. 53 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: Why this is a completely different stake. 54 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 3: Such a y way different stakes. Kelly moved out when 55 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 3: Ople was six. Kelly comes around maybe once a fortnight, 56 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 3: a fortnite, once a fortnight. 57 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 2: This is a middle aged mom, right, it has. 58 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: Been a fortnight since I saw you last. Kelly comes 59 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 1: around once a fortnight and for holidays. But Eddie and 60 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: I have been the ones to raise Ople and Ople 61 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 1: is doing extremely well. She has good friends, plays tennis, 62 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: participates in volunteer projects, and plans to be a marine 63 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: biologist after graduation. 64 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 2: Dude, I'm team Ople over. 65 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: Here, snaps for Ople. I mean, like, Kelly didn't do 66 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: a good job raising her. Kelly didn't do a good 67 00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: job raising her, but at least the parents did. 68 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 2: Dude, they crushed it. 69 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 1: Opee, the parent parents, that's right, I guess the grandparents. Yeah, yeah, 70 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: good grandparenting. Grandparenting kill it. The school year ended for 71 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: Ople last week, so we had a nice dinner to 72 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: celebrate her good grades. Kelly came along with several other 73 00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: family members. We were all chatting and enjoying dinner together 74 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: when Kelly stood up to make an announce Spence, she 75 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,960 Speaker 1: announced to us that she was pregnant with her boyfriend's child. 76 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,840 Speaker 2: Come on, what are we doing? What is going on? 77 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: Kelly's womb is freaking in overdrive? 78 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 3: Well, there was sixteen years apart, one baby every sixteen years. 79 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 2: You just got a freaking pasuka between You're like. 80 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: And actually that's coming from my family. My my, my 81 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,040 Speaker 1: grandma had ten kids. She was firing those things out 82 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: every nine months. Brosuka. I wonder, like, what's the most 83 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,280 Speaker 1: kids that anyone's ever had. Let's look it up. Yes, 84 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 1: John's on the case. I'm actually really excited for this one. Well, 85 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 1: I mean, you have like the ok out of anton. 86 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: But it can't be. It can't be men because like 87 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:02,920 Speaker 1: men and could have like a thousand kids, you know, yeah, 88 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: like genghist con Ad. Well, actually I want I want both. 89 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: I want to gangist con. I heard Genghis Khan is 90 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:11,400 Speaker 1: related to like six percent of all Asian people. 91 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 2: I've heard something like that too. 92 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: It's probably lower than that. Get on the case, all. 93 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 2: Right, so check me out, all right. So the woman. 94 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 3: Valentina vassil lev Yev. Okay, I bet you that gave 95 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 3: birth to a grand total of sixty nine children. 96 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: Sixty nine wait, sixty nine children, yeap of like from 97 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: one marriage or multiple marriages. 98 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 3: I have sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, 99 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 3: and four sets of quadruplets. 100 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,039 Speaker 2: Good god, this is the most fertile woman on playing 101 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,320 Speaker 2: Who No, Who No. 102 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,359 Speaker 3: It was between seventeen twenty five and seventeen sixty five 103 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 3: with the total of twenty seven birds but. 104 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:03,039 Speaker 1: Sixty nine kids. Okay, wait wait, now we gotta do 105 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: Ganghis Khan. 106 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, So it wasn't gonna be a straight answer. 107 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 3: I think he's related because they said it says fourteen. 108 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 3: But those are the people that those are like legitimate kids. Yeah, 109 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 3: legitate Genghis Khan or Attila the Hunt. 110 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure it's Genghis Genghis Khan. Eight percent of 111 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: men living in the former Mongol Empire, eight percent of 112 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: men in the firm. That's one hundreds of thousands or milliate. 113 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: That's insane, Okay. She announced to us that she was 114 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: pregnant with our boyfriend's child Boo. Then we already were 115 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: upset because this is supposed to be Ople's special moment, 116 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:48,120 Speaker 1: and Kelly announcing her pregnancy was completely inappropriate. Eddie and 117 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,720 Speaker 1: I said nothing, and Kelly started to say how she 118 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: and her boyfriend were so busy with life right now. 119 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: Then began to talk about how grateful she was that 120 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: she would always look after our grandchildren, and how since 121 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,440 Speaker 1: we had gained so much joy from raising Opal, would 122 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: be even happier raising this second baby. Excuse me, raising 123 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: the second baby, just don matter. You should be raising again. 124 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: What are you doing? Oh my god. The audacity of 125 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,600 Speaker 1: just saying your house so much, raising this so much fun, 126 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: raising this next one to wait. 127 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 3: Just absolutely insane, absolutely insane. 128 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: After Edding and I called her out, Kelly confirmed that 129 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: she had expected us to adopt and raise this second 130 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: baby as well. No, Kelly said how she and her 131 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: boyfriend did not have time to raise a baby. Why 132 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 1: would you make the. 133 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: Announcement too busy? But I'm having a baby, but I 134 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 2: don't want it mone yeah. 135 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: My god. Kelly said how she and her boyfriend did 136 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: not have time to raise a baby, but that putting 137 00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,480 Speaker 1: up the baby for adoption would be throwing it away. 138 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 1: She assumed we, at almost sixty years old, would have 139 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,239 Speaker 1: no troubles or opposition to raising a newborn baby. 140 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 3: Of course, she should be able to just dump whatever 141 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 3: she wants on her parents, especially in their old age. Kids. 142 00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: Ridiculous, this is ridiculous. Oh god, Eddie and I interrupted 143 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,080 Speaker 1: Kelly and told her we would have nothing to do 144 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: with raising this new baby and would not be providing 145 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: anything for it. Supplies, child color, et cetera. Kelly flipped 146 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: out in an argument ensued. Kelly called us heartless and 147 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: claimed we were willing to throw our girl. We were 148 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: willing to throw our grandchild away. Eddie and I called 149 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,280 Speaker 1: her selfish for expecting us to raise another child. We 150 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 1: are too old to raise a baby. Kelly is thirty 151 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: three and he used to grow the fuck up, get 152 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: the baby up for adoption, or be a parent and 153 00:08:54,559 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: raise it yourself. Kelly was left in tears. Family has 154 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 1: broken into sides. The ones agreeing with Kelly saying we 155 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,680 Speaker 1: adopted Opal and are sending the message that we don't 156 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: care about our newest grandchild. Others are saying we should 157 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: have taken her aside privately instead of shooting her down 158 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: in front of everyone, and our reaction was cruel. Eddie 159 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: and I feel that we had to be blunt with 160 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: Kelly and not sugarcoat reality, which I think is true 161 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: because it seems like they've been sugarcoating it for all 162 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: these years, because she just thought she could have a 163 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: baby and just be like, this is your problem though. 164 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 3: It's just it's just it's just so amazing and incredible 165 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 3: that like, not only is Kelly this delusional, but many 166 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 3: family members think like it. 167 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,840 Speaker 1: This is my mind. Ridiculous, dude, ridiculous. 168 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 169 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 1: Ople likes to show us stories from here sometimes, so 170 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: I thought it would be a good place to ask 171 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 1: for a neutral perspective. Am I the a hole? What 172 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: do you think? John? No? No, not the a hole? 173 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: But there isn't at it? Oh, Ople is always able 174 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: to express her feelings with me and Eddie. Ople also 175 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: has a therapist who's available to speak whenever she needs it. 176 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:05,160 Speaker 2: Awesome. 177 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,920 Speaker 1: Ople visited the therapist weekly during middle school, but now 178 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: has it needed to see him more than once a month. 179 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 1: We will be taking Ople on a mall trip to 180 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 1: make up for what happened at the celebration dinner. We 181 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 1: spoke privately to Ople after this incident, and she knows 182 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: we in no way view her as a burden. Our 183 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: granddaughter is a blessing and many of her and many 184 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 1: of her happiest moments involved supporting Ople and watching her 185 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: grow up. But Opal is sixteen. She doesn't need the 186 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,440 Speaker 1: kind of constant attention and care that a newborn baby does. 187 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 1: We are now too old to able to. We are 188 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 1: now too old to be able to adequately raise a 189 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,680 Speaker 1: newborn baby, even if we wanted to. The biggest problem 190 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: is that Kelly is now an adult and you start 191 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 1: acting like one. For real. Kelly is supposed to outlive us. 192 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 1: The reality is that Eddie and I aren't going to 193 00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: be alive for her and her children in our entire lives. 194 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: It is why Kelly needs to accept that she cannot 195 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: expect us to take on her responsibilities and must be independent. 196 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,160 Speaker 3: Why can't I just have as many children as they 197 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 3: want to give them to you to raise? 198 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,559 Speaker 2: Why can I do that? 199 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: This is the dumbest thing ever, bro. 200 00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 3: What I love is that Opal at sixteen seems like 201 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,839 Speaker 3: way more mature than her mom at thirty three. Right, No, 202 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 3: I mean she's going at therapy. It sounded like she 203 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 3: very clearly out there, which also like I could understand 204 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 3: if Opel maybe like felt away a bit when the 205 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 3: grandparents said like, oh was I a but like I 206 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 3: could see her questioning that, But it sounded like she 207 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 3: was like very mature. It was like, no, I totally understand, 208 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 3: Like you know, you weren't. That wasn't any way a 209 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 3: dig at me or anything like that, like very mature, dude. 210 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: Opel's the goat. Opel is the goat.