1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: Welcome. You are now listening to the Professional Professional. Hey guys, 2 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: welcome to this week's episode of the PhD Podcast. Is 3 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: your Girl eban A and I am super excited, really 4 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: excited about this week's episode. Um so, before he begins 5 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: to a little housekeeping, please make sure to find me 6 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,560 Speaker 1: on Instagram at the Professional Homegirl at the PhD Podcast 7 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: and last of them at least at eban a Beauty. 8 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,959 Speaker 1: Please make sure to check out the website at www 9 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: dot t h E PhD podcast dot com and last 10 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: not at least. If you have any questions, comments, to concerns, 11 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,679 Speaker 1: please make sure to email me at Hello at the 12 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 1: PhD podcast dot com. So please keep in mind that 13 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: all of my guests are anonymous. So let's begin this 14 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: week's episode. So to my guests, how are you? How 15 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: are you feeling? I'm doing good, having a thank you 16 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: for having me. I'm excited to talk to you. I'm 17 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: excited to how you've been holding up with everything going 18 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: on with the coronavirus. Oh, well, you know, I've been 19 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,759 Speaker 1: getting to know inside of the house. I know all right, 20 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:36,200 Speaker 1: Yes I haven't even the kitchen and everything. Yes, I'm 21 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: learning to navigate through this place. And you know what 22 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I've been doing to a lot of um um, a 23 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: lot of e books, UM, a lot of you know, 24 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 1: these master classes on learning how to you you know, 25 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: do graphic designs and stuff like that, just to kind 26 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,280 Speaker 1: of just to learn something new, learn some new things. 27 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 1: So keep it busy, good good. Well I already shared 28 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,760 Speaker 1: this with you, but I want to say thank you 29 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: so much for being on the PSG podcast and just 30 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: sharing the gyms that you learned your journey, because I 31 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 1: know it's going to help a lot of my listeners out. 32 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: So thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome. Thank you. 33 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: So let's start from the very beginning, shall we. Okay, 34 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 1: let's do it. So let's start with your childhood. How 35 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: with your childhood growing up? Well, you know my childhood 36 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: growing up. I grew up and I'm not gonna say 37 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: we were a poor family, but you know, um a 38 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: middle low, lower middle class. I would say. You know, 39 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: I had my parents were married, UM, they were married young, 40 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: right out of high school, and they had myself. My 41 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: mother she was going to school and also working, and 42 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: my dad was working at UM at a plant here 43 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: in Massachusetts at that time, UM and as a kid. 44 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: You know, I thought, you know, life with my parents 45 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: were was fun. You know, it was fun. I had 46 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: my grandparents here and I have a host of cousins, 47 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,840 Speaker 1: and um, life was you know, life was fun um 48 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,320 Speaker 1: for me as a kid. Um. You know, we did 49 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: have a dysfunctional family at some point, um when I 50 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,119 Speaker 1: like most of us, you know, And and and as 51 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: we learned, we learned that in dysfunction, we know how 52 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: to be functional, you know. So the thing Yeah, so 53 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: things that may seem like a struggle to to others, 54 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: it's like this is the way that it is for us. 55 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: It's a normalcy um for things that aren't normal. And 56 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 1: I think that as you know, people from you know, 57 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 1: black and brown and you know, people that live in 58 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: urban neighborhoods, that that's a gift that we all have developed, 59 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 1: is to learn how to make something out of nothing, 60 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 1: make good situations out of bad situations, and what some 61 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: call struggle, we call survival you know, or the fact. Yeah, 62 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: and that's what I learned. That's what I learned. You know, 63 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: I had m you know, in my childhood, I went 64 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: to school, my parents went to work, and my mom 65 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: was going to school. Um, and as you know time 66 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: went on. Um, I was the only child for five years, 67 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: so um, you know it was pretty much a daddy's 68 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: girl and you know a spoil brat, probably spoil rat. 69 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: But um, as as time went on, UM, there started 70 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: to be a client and the fun and our family. UM. 71 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: You know, my parents being young parents, you know, they 72 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,560 Speaker 1: started to argue and fight a little bit about infidelities 73 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: that were going on. And um also you know there 74 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: was drug usage in the home. Mother's side has eight 75 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: children and eight brothers and sisters for her, and my 76 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: dad's I has eleven brothers and sisters for them. Oh wow, 77 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 1: you have a big yeah. And then being the two 78 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: oldest of their families, you know, you know that sisters 79 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: and brothers hang you know, I would come on the 80 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: weekends and hang out at our place. So you know 81 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: they you know, they smokes weed, they drank, played, you know, 82 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 1: I have fun. Um, you know there was other type 83 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: of you know, other substances there. But you know, as 84 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: a kid, I didn't know what those things where. I 85 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: just knew that, you know, it seemed like they was 86 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: all having a good time. I love listening to music. 87 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 1: They played music, and that was the vibe back then 88 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 1: in the seventies, you know, so I know you were 89 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: really close with your father, and I know that your 90 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: father and your mother had you know, they was arguing, 91 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: they was fighting, There was a lot of things going on. 92 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,400 Speaker 1: So how hard was there for you the see your 93 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 1: father knowing that, Like I guess because now you're a 94 00:05:02,279 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: little bit, you're older, so now you can see, like, 95 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: you know, you didn't agree with your father was doing 96 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: back then, but it's kind of like back then you 97 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: still like I love them regardless, like you didn't judge 98 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: them in anything or like you was not okay with it, 99 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 1: but like you understood. Yeah, you know, I think that 100 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: um again and learning how to be UM functional in 101 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: a in an environment of dysfunction. Um. You know, as 102 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: a kid, you really don't know what's going on. You 103 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: really don't. You you you have no clue what's going on. 104 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:31,040 Speaker 1: You just know when something's good and when something's bad. 105 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: You know when something's not right, And it's just that 106 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: there was a lot of situations that seemed like it 107 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: repeatedly became not right, and um, you know, there were 108 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: a couple of instances when I was like, wow, dad 109 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: is crazy, Like what's wrong with him? Right now. I 110 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: was just like, wow, this is not he's you know, 111 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: just not It's just not my dad doing this. But again, 112 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: I'm a daddy's girl, you know as well. And I 113 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,680 Speaker 1: love both of my parents. But you know that that 114 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: relationship that I had with my that um, you know 115 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,479 Speaker 1: was was a special It is a special relationship that 116 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: we still have to say, um, even though we missed 117 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 1: sometimes for me growing up and things like that, it 118 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,919 Speaker 1: was you know, I still love my dad. I was 119 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: upset with him when I saw him and my mother fighting. 120 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 1: I was upset with him when I saw doing wrong. 121 00:06:17,839 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 1: I was. I was upset. But I didn't grow up 122 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: with a hate for my father. I didn't grow up 123 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 1: that way. And I think that a lot of that 124 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: could have possibly been because um uh, when him and 125 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,040 Speaker 1: my mother uh ended their relationship, I didn't see him 126 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: for a lot of years, you know, and maybe, um, 127 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: I think I want to say that I'm thinking about it. 128 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: Maybe I've just missed him. Just the emptiness of not 129 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,880 Speaker 1: having them there that you know, I didn't think too 130 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: much about, just more sadness for me than anger. Yeah, 131 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: So I know. Also during this time he began your 132 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 1: entrepreneur journey, and I thought it was so funny because 133 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: I feel like it little black and brown girl did this. 134 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: You were selling candy out to school, and you was, 135 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: but you know, I was with the ondly one at 136 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: school doing kind of I kind of. I had a 137 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 1: friend who who was doing it, and a couple of 138 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: other kids. When I was a quiet kid and I 139 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 1: didn't hang out with much, you know, I have much friends. 140 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: I was like the little nerdy girl, but I was 141 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: very intuitive and I watched and um, you know, I 142 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: tried meet You also had a lot of family, and 143 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: I had a lot of family too. So when there 144 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: was a friend of mine who was doing I was 145 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: thinking about I think around my way got better candy 146 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: than hers, you know, So I started. I started to 147 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: do that same kind of hustle, and nobody knew. Nobody 148 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: ever knew what I was doing because you know, I'm 149 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm the nerdy little girl. I said at the front 150 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,200 Speaker 1: of the bus. I don't really you know, mix in 151 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: with everybody like that. So no one had an idea. 152 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: But why didn't you feel like you didn't fit into well? 153 00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: I didn't. I mean I thought I was the black 154 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 1: Annie and he was any was my favorite chater, and 155 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: you know, I used I used to think that I 156 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: was her. I wanted to be her, and I just 157 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't think I was with and 158 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,160 Speaker 1: I wasn't in with like the cool kids, you know, 159 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 1: I didn't you know, I just I just didn't have 160 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: that and I didn't do that. I was just quiet 161 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 1: and I really stuck to myself. And then you know, 162 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: I had a couple of friends at school and we 163 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: were just like the uncool kids, which was fine with me. 164 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 1: Was well, speaking of friends, you know your first legend 165 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: in high school? I did, I did. How was that 166 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 1: relationship in the beginning thing? It's everything, and I can 167 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 1: tell it was everything, and just about the pictures. She 168 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,839 Speaker 1: was saying, your doctor Manry. I was like, yeah, they yeah, everything, 169 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: and you know what and I and I really wanted to, 170 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: um have more pictures. Um, we have so much better pictures. 171 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: But in that I don't have the pictures. I had 172 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 1: to even go to a different family. I was just 173 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: to get the pictures. And I'm so sad that I 174 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,760 Speaker 1: have never been good at, you know, like getting the 175 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: family photos and keeping them and having the photo album 176 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: and stuff. So he has all those things. But I 177 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: was unable to get them during the time frame. But yeah, 178 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: we were. We met in high school, and I believe 179 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: that instantly we loved each other. You know, we knew 180 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,400 Speaker 1: we knew each other. I know who he was as 181 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: a person. He knew who I was as a person. 182 00:09:12,679 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: It wasn't any of the you know, trying to act 183 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,160 Speaker 1: like this person, act like that person. I could really 184 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 1: be who I was and I didn't have to add 185 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: anything to that. You know, we just accepted each other 186 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,839 Speaker 1: the way that we were. I think the one reason 187 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 1: why I gravitated towards your story the most because I 188 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 1: always feel like you had a positive outlook on everybody 189 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: and anything. That's one of my problems because I say 190 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: that's why I so much. But now because even during 191 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:45,320 Speaker 1: your relationship, you know, your first love develop a drug 192 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 1: habit and that relationship became abusive, but like in a way, 193 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: you still talked about that relationship during that time with 194 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: such respect. I do have a lot of respect for it. Um. 195 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,599 Speaker 1: You know, when you're going through a dark time, and 196 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: when you're going through something like that, you really, um, 197 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: you really are in a hole, you know, and you 198 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: don't feel like there's gonna be you don't. You don't 199 00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,240 Speaker 1: know what's going on, how it's gonna go, You don't 200 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: have any control over it, you don't. Um. So it's 201 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,880 Speaker 1: just like every day you're just lost, really, um And 202 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 1: the only thing that I could tell you that really 203 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: keeps that together or cut that together for me is 204 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: knowing that we love each other, knowing that understanding what 205 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: addiction is. Addiction is a disease. So he has a disease, 206 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: you know. And I I mean and thinking back to it, 207 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: if I think about, you know what my family me 208 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,880 Speaker 1: growing up, that disease had always been throughout my whole family, 209 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 1: you know, So I've always so I always know the 210 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,400 Speaker 1: disease of addiction, so I could not um, you know, 211 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,079 Speaker 1: I think that having that type of history and knowing 212 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:51,000 Speaker 1: that that it made it less difficult for me to 213 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 1: understand what he was going through. You know. I may 214 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: not have known the type of the type of symptoms 215 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 1: from the certain drugs that were being used or whatever, 216 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: but UM, I had an understanding that addiction as a 217 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: disease and that this is something that was not him. 218 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: I could separate him from the addiction, you know. And 219 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 1: I know that that person who he was, that I 220 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: know who he is exists there. Yeah, because he tried it. 221 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, we went through a lot. 222 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: We went through a we went through an absolute lot. 223 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:26,439 Speaker 1: We really did, we really did. Yeah. Did you ever 224 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: think about how the relationship that you was that you 225 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: were in with him was similar to your parents? I 226 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: thought that it was at one point. You know what, 227 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you this, I always thought that, like 228 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: you know, um, I always did. I would do things 229 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:43,600 Speaker 1: better than my mother. Did you know? Like that? And 230 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: I tell you every time that I would think that. 231 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 1: God surely shows me that he humbles you. Man. Something 232 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: about God, he will humble your fac that you can say, 233 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: Oh I know that you know. No, you don't know anything, 234 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:59,839 Speaker 1: low girl, that's a fact. I'm telling you. Why do 235 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: you think we Why do you think we think that? 236 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,080 Speaker 1: Because I know I think that and I know other 237 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: girls is listening to this episode is sticking the same thing. 238 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,319 Speaker 1: So why do you think we think that we feel 239 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: that way? Because we're seeing something just like as a 240 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: younger person to a older person. Oh y'all did that 241 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: back then? This is what the new stuff is now 242 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: we're not even knowing. Listen, listen, little lady, there's no 243 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: such thing as something new. This has all been done before, yes, before, 244 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,560 Speaker 1: and it has been done in and the solution and 245 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 1: the resolution that you think you're coming up with today, 246 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,599 Speaker 1: someone came up with many moons ago, before you was 247 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,400 Speaker 1: even thought of, before your mother was even thought of. 248 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,640 Speaker 1: This has all been done before. You know, there's there's 249 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 1: nothing new to it. I used to think that, Oh 250 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 1: my god, I can't stand my mother always Like you know, 251 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: I love fruit. Me and my mother both fruit, right, 252 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: So she would have a fruit bowl and in her 253 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: fruit bowl it would just be those red apples and 254 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: those big oranges. And I would think, oh my god, 255 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: when I get my own place, when I get Breck, 256 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a better fruit ball than my mother. 257 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 1: It's gonna have great you know, it's gonna have breaks 258 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: and strawberries and Nani's like all the fruit in there, 259 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. And that's how I continue 260 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 1: to look at it. Like, but listen, I wasn't doing 261 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 1: anything better. Yeah. I may have a fruit bowl with 262 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: a different fruit in it, but when I go to 263 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: my mother's house, I still was eating those apples and oranges. 264 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: You know, I still missed you know what I mean, 265 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: and it was you know, there was just um, I 266 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 1: just always thought I was ahead of the game and 267 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: she didn't know nothing when she was talking about a 268 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,679 Speaker 1: lot of times, but the first person you talk to 269 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: when something goes wrong is your mother, you know. So 270 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:31,599 Speaker 1: I've gone to my mother many of times because she understood. 271 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: She she understood what I was going through. You know, 272 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: she would understand that, and I would try to act 273 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,280 Speaker 1: like I was stronger than you know that what she 274 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,120 Speaker 1: had been through and all that stuff. But you know, 275 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: I showed myself how much stronger my mother was because 276 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: at that time, she had she had left the situation, right. 277 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: That's not something that I did, you know. You know, 278 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: so see when we talk about that, I again, God 279 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: humbled me and I got understood that. I won't never 280 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: say that again because he showed me something the same 281 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: same thing you're going through. But there was a decision 282 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: that she made one day, and I was never strong 283 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: enough to make that decision. You know. How is your 284 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: parents relationship? Yeah, they are, you know they um and 285 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,520 Speaker 1: their families grew up in the same projects together, so 286 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: their families were were real families, you know what I mean, 287 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 1: like together, you know, they're sisters and brothers, are friends 288 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,800 Speaker 1: and all of that. I even have a set of 289 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:34,920 Speaker 1: cousins that are related to me on both sides because yes, 290 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 1: my cousin, my cousin that as actually on my episode 291 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,280 Speaker 1: you'll see a budio there. His father is my mother's 292 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:48,800 Speaker 1: brother and his mother is my father's first cousin. So 293 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,320 Speaker 1: so you can't get away from each other more so 294 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,560 Speaker 1: or less, you know what I mean, we cannot For 295 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: the past few years. What's funny is my parents hadn't 296 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 1: you know, they hadn't been you know, around each other 297 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: to communicated whatever, like if you go to funerals of 298 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: their old friends and stuff like that, they would see 299 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: each other and of course be called. So they don't 300 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: continue to you know, my mother doesn't continue to hate 301 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: my father, you know, they both moved on with life 302 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: and so forth. But again she still carries pain from 303 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: that relationship, but paying from that and um, you know, 304 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: over the past say three for the past two years, 305 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: my father had been living with me, so yeah, spent 306 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: Christmas together, all the holidays together, and it was it's 307 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: just heart you know, just heartbreaking and melting and warming 308 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: at the same time for me to have my parents 309 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: together these past two Christmas. Is it was just like, Wow, 310 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,160 Speaker 1: I haven't had that since I was a kid, you know, 311 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: and so I've been Yeah, life goes on and people 312 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: grow up and you become more mature, and you know, 313 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: you still have to get back to family. Yeah. So 314 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: now it's thousands. You got to a degree in business 315 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: management and you later got a job at college working 316 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 1: with through loans. So what were your responsibility. Well, the 317 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: first position UM that I got at the school, it 318 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: was Yeah, the first one I got into the school 319 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: was actually being UM the director of Student Accounts and 320 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,640 Speaker 1: the coordinator of Perkins loans. Right. So in that position, 321 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: I was responsible for UM making sure that the accounts 322 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 1: of students were paid up to date UM and it 323 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 1: was for the graduate student population, so if they had 324 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: a balance on their account and waiting for any funding 325 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: to come in, then I was the person that they 326 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 1: would make you know, I would make sure that those 327 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 1: UM loosens were tied up or if they had to 328 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: go on a payment plan or something like that. UM. 329 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: So that was the that was the major part of 330 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 1: the role, and the second part of the role UM 331 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 1: was to coordinate the Perkins loans, meaning to do the 332 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,880 Speaker 1: due diligence for students who have now graduated and they 333 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: owe money on the Perkins loan which they pay the 334 00:16:56,040 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: school bath for money for Perkins loans. Um. So UM, 335 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 1: I would manage the Perkins loan program by making sure 336 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: I did the due diligence by reaching out to them 337 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 1: if they're late on their payments, or you know, just 338 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:12,639 Speaker 1: keeping keeping management of those files. So when do the 339 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:16,160 Speaker 1: thought cross your head about even just the positive checks 340 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 1: into your bank. Well, you know, there was a situation 341 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,919 Speaker 1: that occurred, um, you know in my in my household, 342 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:27,120 Speaker 1: and what happened as the RCT thing that would happen is, um, 343 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,959 Speaker 1: you know, the rent was went missing and my partner, 344 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:34,360 Speaker 1: my partner was off with the rent at this one time. Yeah, 345 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 1: but that was you know, that wasn't you know, that 346 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: wasn't like the first time that's something like that happened. 347 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: It was the first time that I was able to 348 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 1: hand to take care of it. Um. You know, so 349 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: different situations like that we have been through, but this 350 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 1: particular time, I wasn't able to. I didn't have any 351 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:55,239 Speaker 1: idea where this was going to come from. So what 352 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: I did do was I thought about it a little bit, 353 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: and I you know, I used created in my mind, 354 00:18:01,359 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: I created a plan that I'd be able to borrow this, 355 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 1: like I'm borrowing from a bank or something. Right, that 356 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,919 Speaker 1: was my thinking, like I'm gonna borrow this and then 357 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it back, you know, and some because 358 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: the plan and when you're trying to do something that 359 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: you're not supposed to be doing, or even when you 360 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,199 Speaker 1: are doing something, you're making a plan for it, right 361 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: you know. So so I created this plan based off 362 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 1: of what I needed, um to help me out in 363 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: a situation. And um, once I did that, it was 364 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,400 Speaker 1: for me, for me, Um, there was no turning back 365 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: from it. Actually, Um, that plan actually changed the minute 366 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 1: that I did it the plane. But it's like when 367 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: I was watching it, I kind of understood why you 368 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,200 Speaker 1: did it because it's like your back up against the wall, 369 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,040 Speaker 1: because it's it's one thing if you have to worry 370 00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 1: about yourself. But yeah, then I had a whole family 371 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 1: that I was, you know, trying to support, and you know, 372 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: not that that's an excuse at all, you know, it's 373 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: not to be yeah right, no, no, no, not that 374 00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: I agree with this an excuse, But I understood, right, 375 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: Why you know that's and I totally I totally get 376 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,960 Speaker 1: that too. When I have to think about I just 377 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: want people to totally enders be ind that you know 378 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,360 Speaker 1: what your back can be against the wall, but that's 379 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: the wrong decision. Is not the best thing, you know, 380 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: it's not. It's not the best thing you have to 381 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 1: um when you feel when you're doing something out of 382 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: panic or out of fear or out of you know, 383 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,120 Speaker 1: not being able to sit and really think about it, 384 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: and you know the whole thing is wrong. When you 385 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 1: have to think of a back door of something that 386 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,120 Speaker 1: you know that you're not doing the right thing, you're 387 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: not not At first, No, I think that I wasn't 388 00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 1: focused on any emotion of this. You know. The only 389 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,800 Speaker 1: thing I was thinking of is this is how this 390 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: is gonna work. I didn't think of any other consequences 391 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 1: of that. I didn't think about if it didn't work 392 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,159 Speaker 1: out properly. I didn't think of none of that. I 393 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 1: talked to myself into making sure that me and my 394 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 1: head were in the same place, and and I was saying, look, 395 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 1: there's no way this is isn't gonna work. There's no 396 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: way possible it isn't gonna work. And I mean I 397 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,480 Speaker 1: went ahead and I put it in there, and I 398 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,800 Speaker 1: think like the next day when I went to see 399 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,080 Speaker 1: that it had cleared, and I was like, wow, okay, 400 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,880 Speaker 1: that worked, you know. But I was a little yeah 401 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: it was, but I was a little nervous about, you know, 402 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: withdrawing the funds. But once the funds came out, it 403 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: was it was over with. It was over with me. 404 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 1: From there, I wasn't I wasn't gonna just stop doing it. 405 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: It wasn't that whole plan I had. Well, this just 406 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: this one that plan was out to do it once 407 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,879 Speaker 1: it worked, you know. But I also know one of 408 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: your goals during their time was you were working on 409 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: being in the music industry. Yeah. Absolutely, um. And again 410 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,679 Speaker 1: that these funds from from doing that also helped me 411 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: to learn the music industry business. And I started what 412 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: how that helps me is because I started to find 413 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 1: different events to go too, so that I could network, 414 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: um with music industry, you know. And verywhere I was, 415 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:56,880 Speaker 1: I was, I was, I was everywhere I was over 416 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,200 Speaker 1: here and you know why I was thinking about it. Yes, 417 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: I was pretty lit it. I was pretty late. I 418 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 1: didn't make my you know, I didn't give myself this 419 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,399 Speaker 1: high horse of a feeling or anything like that. I 420 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,520 Speaker 1: still felt like, you know, I didn't feel like I 421 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:08,679 Speaker 1: was on top of the world and I was on 422 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: top of my game and you know, I'm this and 423 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: I'm that. But looking back at everything, I was pretty 424 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,199 Speaker 1: lit because I was a person who didn't wait to 425 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: get an invite into something. It's just like, yo, I 426 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: see it in somewhere, I'm gonna take it. I even 427 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: used to. I used to like look up the different 428 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 1: events that were happening while I'm trying to learn the business. 429 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: So I was going to different music seminars and things 430 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: like that, conferences so that I can learn and that 431 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 1: I can network. And when sometimes um, you know, when 432 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 1: I learned how to navigate through them, it's like, okay, well, 433 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna now sign myself up because these v IP 434 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,880 Speaker 1: tickets are way too much. I'm not doing that. So 435 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna look and see, oh well wait a minute, now, 436 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: if you go as pressed press, you can get a 437 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,040 Speaker 1: free ticket. So I started learning, Yeah, yeah, that's what 438 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,879 Speaker 1: I'm doing. That's what I started to do because I 439 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 1: needed to cut down on the ticket cap because when 440 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 1: that's like five dollars. It's like for what, you know, 441 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,720 Speaker 1: what are we doing? Just the standard and meet absolutely, 442 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:13,160 Speaker 1: So I started to learn different ways that I could 443 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,120 Speaker 1: lessen the cost of that. But again, when I traveled 444 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: to these places, I was bringing you know, my son's 445 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: with me, I was bringing my sister you know, sometimes 446 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 1: her friends with me, so that there could be multiple 447 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 1: of us to you know, network and navigate the room 448 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,160 Speaker 1: as well. Um, but you know I had to travel 449 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:33,720 Speaker 1: with my kids with me too. So yeah, well that's 450 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: that's one thing I definitely got from your story. You 451 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,600 Speaker 1: definitely looked out for your people that I tried to. 452 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: You know, I tried to And it's not that I 453 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 1: was not that money was the answer to that. But 454 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 1: what I wanted is that the that world that was 455 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 1: open there. I wanted, I'm always wanted people to learn 456 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: and to see that there's more than what they know 457 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: of as well as myself. So once I opened my 458 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,720 Speaker 1: eyes to something, I couldn't wait to show others. You know, like, 459 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,040 Speaker 1: look look at look at look at this, and you 460 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 1: can learn this and you could do that, you know. 461 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: That's more so what the bottom line for me was 462 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: is to show people that there was more. Yeah, so 463 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: while you was making a name for yourself for your 464 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: family and friends, question you where you got the money 465 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: for our Now, No, not at all, I tell you that. Um, 466 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,159 Speaker 1: you know, I had this great job title and people 467 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 1: just really always thought that you know, I had it, 468 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, I had it to do. Um, no one 469 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,919 Speaker 1: ever questioned us to because who knew what I was, 470 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: you know, what anything cost or anything like that, Like 471 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 1: I didn't have I didn't live luxurious And why would 472 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,760 Speaker 1: you question if you're not paying for it, right, you know, 473 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: questioning me exactly know you know what you I'm not 474 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 1: paying for your young way out there. But no, no, 475 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:47,679 Speaker 1: no one ever questioned me. It's just like, you know, 476 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,880 Speaker 1: people that that have this great job and I wasn't 477 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: making a lot of money in the job. But it 478 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: was a at a at a great school, is that 479 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,000 Speaker 1: you know whenever? Yeah, the title is big, you know 480 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,000 Speaker 1: I had a big officer all these things and I 481 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,640 Speaker 1: had access to different resources. But you know, the position 482 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: didn't even pay me, like even thirty thousand. You know, 483 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,600 Speaker 1: I was just working, working with what I had to do, 484 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,720 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it could look like that, 485 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,159 Speaker 1: but really I wasn't. I wasn't balling like that in 486 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: real life. And that's why I always tell people to 487 00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: stop being the titles, because titles don't want anybody. You 488 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 1: would think that I'm the director of student accounts. You know, 489 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:29,159 Speaker 1: that's big to me. It was exactly. It wasn't a 490 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: big title because before that position, I had to working 491 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 1: customer service you know, in different in different time about atmosphere. 492 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 1: So I was working customer service, UM, Life Insurance, UM, 493 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,480 Speaker 1: just all all sorts of things, and then UM. The 494 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: position that I had prior to that was working at 495 00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,920 Speaker 1: a company that worked with UM students and families on 496 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: completing the financial aid process UM for their schools, for 497 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 1: their school loans and so UM. You know. I worked 498 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 1: there for a while and I made some relationships there 499 00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,000 Speaker 1: and someone from over the school I went to work 500 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:02,359 Speaker 1: but said, you know what, I think it would be 501 00:25:02,359 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 1: great at doing this and we have this position open. 502 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,399 Speaker 1: So it's kind of like that's how that happened. So 503 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,160 Speaker 1: how long were you doing it before you got home? 504 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: I want to say a little over two years. So, 505 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 1: because what happened is I left that job. I was 506 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 1: at a point where I said, hey, listen, if I 507 00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:22,520 Speaker 1: don't leave this school. I'm not gonna stop doing this, 508 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,600 Speaker 1: And so I thought that that was a way that 509 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 1: I could go cold turkey and you know, be done 510 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: with it, because if I stayed in that position, you know, eventually, 511 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 1: you know, in my mind, it wasn't saying I need 512 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,040 Speaker 1: to leave before I get caught. It was I need 513 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,080 Speaker 1: to leave before I because I'm not gonna stop. That's 514 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,800 Speaker 1: what it was, you know. So I left there and 515 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,359 Speaker 1: went to another school doing a different position, Like you know, 516 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 1: I don't want to have to deal with chess or 517 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,760 Speaker 1: anything like that, you know. I was I was like 518 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 1: rehabilitating myself, you know, like like an addict does you know, 519 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: you know, that's the same thing that I was thinking. 520 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 1: And I went to that of the school, and when 521 00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,200 Speaker 1: I was there for a couple of months, um, then 522 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: I um, the detectives came there and they were questioning 523 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: me about, Yeah, I had this that feeling about this 524 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: one that I did and I couldn't remember. I couldn't. 525 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: I knew there was something I got to do, and 526 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,159 Speaker 1: I just so I had so many that I was 527 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:20,040 Speaker 1: doing right, I just couldn't remember which one that was, 528 00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:22,600 Speaker 1: but I knew there was one. But after a while 529 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 1: when nothing happened from it, and it was probably very 530 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 1: small maybe I think it was about nine hundred dollars, 531 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 1: between nine or two dollars, I think something small like that. 532 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: And um I just couldn't remember. I couldn't remember who 533 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: it was and how to fix it. I left the 534 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,360 Speaker 1: school and thinking, well, nothing came of it, so I'm 535 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 1: going I'm into clear, that's over with. And when and 536 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,080 Speaker 1: when they came there, come to find out that was 537 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:53,639 Speaker 1: the one. Yeah, that was the one. Damn. So how 538 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,080 Speaker 1: much were your accused of? So I was charged? Were 539 00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,119 Speaker 1: charged with uttering, um is when you're depositing you know, 540 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,880 Speaker 1: the act of depositing checks that don't belong to you. 541 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: But uttering and forgering the were the charges. And that 542 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,879 Speaker 1: was for a quarter of a million dollars for my 543 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,439 Speaker 1: first case. So how long were you sent this to 544 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,960 Speaker 1: and how was that experience? So the first case, I 545 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 1: was sentenced to six months in three years probation. UM 546 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: I was sentenced to Suffolk County House of Corrections, which 547 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: here we call it on South Bay South Bay Jail, 548 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: um it is in Boston. Um I was. I wasn't 549 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 1: there for three months and the experience is horrible there's nothing. 550 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 1: There's nothing good, um that comes out of jail. Um, 551 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,920 Speaker 1: there's nothing good that goes in jail. You know. Um, 552 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 1: you're you're there right at her, No, go ahead, you're 553 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: you're in there. Um, you know you're in a cell. 554 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: You're in a cell with others. I had um to 555 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,080 Speaker 1: other cell mates. That wasn't a sell with me. We 556 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 1: had a sink in there. Um, I was in a unit. 557 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:57,560 Speaker 1: You're you're locked in. You know. There's the bars in 558 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,320 Speaker 1: the whole nine there, and um they're bad. Them as 559 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,119 Speaker 1: outside of your cell, and showers are outside easel, but 560 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 1: they're in the same unit. Um, there's a little TV area. Um, 561 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:12,360 Speaker 1: you eat lunch, dinner, breakfast there right on that floor. Um. 562 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 1: Women women are treated totally different in prison than men 563 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: are anyways, um as well, just like in life. But 564 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,480 Speaker 1: I'm there. We didn't have a lot of wrecktime, So 565 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,080 Speaker 1: go into the library with something that I mean, we 566 00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:27,840 Speaker 1: could do. But you're not guaranteed to ever have wreck 567 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 1: or go to library or be off of the unit. 568 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,240 Speaker 1: You know, So there's no guarantee. So if they feel 569 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,760 Speaker 1: like bringing you, they do. If not, then it doesn't happen. 570 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: So you're just stuck in there every day all day, 571 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 1: loft in with with these women, and it's a filthy place. 572 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:47,480 Speaker 1: It's filthy, um, it's filthy, the food stinks. And you 573 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:52,520 Speaker 1: have to deal with mentally ill people, um um, people 574 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: that have some real issues, and there would really be 575 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: nothing that you could do about it. It really isn't. 576 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,960 Speaker 1: You just have to do your time. Um. And if 577 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: you're really if you're weak minded, not to stay weak minded. 578 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: That's the wrong word to use. If you're a person who, 579 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 1: um is unable to grasp the situation that you're you know, um, 580 00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 1: it could be it could be mentally um disturbing for you. 581 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 1: And not everybody gets to Not everyone could make it 582 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: through those times. You know, some people have to be 583 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: medicated just to go through it. You know, you coming 584 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,400 Speaker 1: there a regular person, you get there and you're now 585 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,720 Speaker 1: you're depressed. You can't deal with waking up there every 586 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: day now you're on medication. So well, Yeah, as hard 587 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 1: as you said when you came home that you was depressed, 588 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: I was. I really was because I felt like, you know, 589 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: when I went into the first time, you know, I 590 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: owned a home, um, you know, so I wasn't so 591 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: much worried about the kids because they were home with 592 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: their dad. My sister was there and my parents, and 593 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 1: you know, he had the support for to have help 594 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: with with the kids and stuff. Um, And I didn't 595 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: tell them where I was, but I didn't worry about 596 00:29:57,600 --> 00:29:59,680 Speaker 1: anyone having a roof over their head and everything because 597 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,160 Speaker 1: it was all situated. Um, when I came home again, 598 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 1: I've never been to jail before, I didn't have had 599 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: a clean record. Now I'll have a record. So it 600 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 1: was kind of like what am I What am I 601 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,880 Speaker 1: gonna do? Like what kind of what kind of income 602 00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 1: can I make? What kind of career can I now have? 603 00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,280 Speaker 1: You know, what things could I do? I'm used to 604 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: you know, always working, having like a little salary job 605 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, being able to use my skills, 606 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: And it was like, uh, it wasn't really, it wasn't 607 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: happening when I first came home, you know. So so 608 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,960 Speaker 1: I was pretty depressed about it because I hadn't made 609 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 1: a plan um for how I would come how I 610 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,040 Speaker 1: would be able to support myself and my family at 611 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 1: that time, and it just seemed like I could get 612 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: the job. I always go to an interview and I'll 613 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 1: have the job, they'll make me the offer, but then 614 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: a couple of days later, record check comes back they 615 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: have to withdraw the request, you know. So you go 616 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: through that a couple of times and it's like, oh, man, 617 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: that just gives you a loss of hope, you know. 618 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: So it's very difficult when you don't have the resources 619 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 1: to be able to continue to to create um, sustainable 620 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 1: income for yourself in a career based off of the 621 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 1: mistake that you made. So I know, in two thousand 622 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,120 Speaker 1: and six you found a job. He was hired as 623 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:19,080 Speaker 1: a financial aid advisor, right, So actually, um, it was 624 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,200 Speaker 1: it was it was later than that, so in two 625 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: thousand and six. Actually see, um, I went to I 626 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,160 Speaker 1: went to prison in two thousand six. So so my 627 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 1: case back then it was two thousand five. I was 628 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: actually sentenced by the start of my time two thousand six. Um, 629 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 1: so in January two thousand and six, and then I 630 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:40,560 Speaker 1: came home about I say, early April of two thousand 631 00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 1: and six. So, UM, I ended up working at a 632 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,960 Speaker 1: data entry company. I didn't I didn't go to the 633 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 1: job where I was a financial advisor. UM. After my 634 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:56,880 Speaker 1: stint and from the first case was two thousand and ten, 635 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:01,760 Speaker 1: I went, Yeah, so in between time I worked off 636 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: the grid. I was just going to work up dated, 637 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: doing a data entry job and maintaining and not trying 638 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:11,040 Speaker 1: to do anything else. I was like, scared straight. You know, 639 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 1: I didn't plan you for like almost ten years. Yeah, exactly. 640 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: It was. It was one time I went to jail, 641 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:22,480 Speaker 1: I was thirty, the next time I went I was forty. Yeah. Yeah, 642 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: they didn't happen back to back to each other. It 643 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,720 Speaker 1: was about a ten years different some time. Yeah. Yeah. 644 00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:31,800 Speaker 1: I went to no go right ahead, said so how 645 00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,360 Speaker 1: did you get their job because they didn't do it. 646 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 1: I know they didn't do a check right, No, not 647 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 1: on that job, but it would have been past the 648 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,640 Speaker 1: time anyway, so it would have been passed the time, 649 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 1: so it wouldn't have come up anyways. But this particular 650 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: place did not do a quarry, so I Didn't's not 651 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 1: like so I didn't complete any documentation that I didn't 652 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,840 Speaker 1: lie on any paperwork or anything like that. But I 653 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 1: didn't disclose my my previous history. So I know when 654 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:01,480 Speaker 1: I was in college, it like refund checks was a 655 00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,720 Speaker 1: big thing. So when I heard the story, I was like, nah, 656 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: but it's different and this is and it's different. It's 657 00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: not that. So this is what I want everyone to understand. 658 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,600 Speaker 1: This is not a case where you requested a refund 659 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: check and you're waiting for it and I took that's 660 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 1: not what happened. That's not how right it was. That 661 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: Do you think that's how people think that that's how 662 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: I went. I think so because I'm asked that question 663 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 1: a little bit a couple of times, and yeah, sometimes 664 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,280 Speaker 1: I look at the comments and I'm like, oh my goodness, 665 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:33,840 Speaker 1: I don't even know why I look at these comments. 666 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: But I think the documentary was a little choppy. Yeah, 667 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: and then it may have and may have, Um, it 668 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: may have been, but that's not that's not how it went. 669 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 1: It was not that, you know, all of these students 670 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: requested this and then it was missing up like that 671 00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: would that wouldn't have really made any sense, right if 672 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: you're expecting something and I you know, that would have 673 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,080 Speaker 1: been a lot of cases that would have brought to 674 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,000 Speaker 1: the school's attention. What what happened is, as I said, 675 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,400 Speaker 1: there was a demographic of students who you don't know 676 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: that you have this additional funds that you can request. 677 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:08,080 Speaker 1: So these people had not requested the checks that I 678 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: had used. Were people not requesting the additional funds, right, 679 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: there was. There was one young lady who ended up 680 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: after a few it was like, after six months of 681 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:23,840 Speaker 1: it happening, she requested it. And it was like, okay, 682 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 1: so what I had to do? What what my plan was? 683 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,800 Speaker 1: I have to take from someone else's to fix hers 684 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 1: and you know, scrambled this up, you know, fix this situation. 685 00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,840 Speaker 1: But I spoke to her on the phone and the 686 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,480 Speaker 1: next day I was going on vacation, so I had 687 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 1: let her know that it would be processed and sent 688 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:45,319 Speaker 1: to her that week the next week. M But what 689 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:49,280 Speaker 1: she did was she called back while I was away 690 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: on vacation, and right, and she talked to someone else 691 00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 1: and they had told her that it already had been 692 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,359 Speaker 1: cut and so forth, like all these months agoing that 693 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:00,879 Speaker 1: problemt investigation. So it wasn't that at was all these 694 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,360 Speaker 1: people requested refund checks and I would just keep them. 695 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,520 Speaker 1: It was this one particular person after it was like 696 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: over eighty thousand dollars is what they stated about eighty 697 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: seven thousand dollars worth. And this happened over a year, 698 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,920 Speaker 1: a year and a half worth of time right. So 699 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 1: on this time in two thousand and twelve is when 700 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: this young lady had it. And I knew that it 701 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,600 Speaker 1: was this particular person, um that she requested it, but 702 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 1: it was after it already had been done, because she 703 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: was a person who hadn't requested it for you know. 704 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: But like I said, about six months and she was 705 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,600 Speaker 1: requesting it at that time I had done it, and 706 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,439 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I gotta fix this. But I wasn't 707 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,320 Speaker 1: gonna be able to fix it until I had returned 708 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,880 Speaker 1: because I was already scheduled to leave, and it you know, 709 00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 1: took me. It would have taken a couple of days 710 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:46,880 Speaker 1: to fix that, you know. So um, that's what happened 711 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:51,880 Speaker 1: to that. That's what prompted the case. And I know 712 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 1: you pretty much didn't find out until he was on 713 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:58,600 Speaker 1: vacation because right right, I was that was crazy. Oh 714 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: my goodness. I was away out of the country and 715 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,440 Speaker 1: I tried to use one of my cards and it 716 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:06,200 Speaker 1: wasn't working. And I'm like, oh this she's not working 717 00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:11,799 Speaker 1: out here. It's like it's not working right because I 718 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:13,400 Speaker 1: know I got money on here, you know, and I 719 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,040 Speaker 1: was only getting like something, you know. I'm like oh, 720 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:20,120 Speaker 1: that's me crazy. But so then I had another card 721 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,399 Speaker 1: and this one was working, so I was like, okay, yeah, 722 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:25,239 Speaker 1: something's wrong with that machine or something like that. That 723 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,480 Speaker 1: that that doesn't make sense. But shortly after that, I 724 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,719 Speaker 1: believe it was the next day, my son called me 725 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:34,480 Speaker 1: and he's like, jam on, listen, UM, some agents have 726 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,600 Speaker 1: been by here. They want to talk to you about 727 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 1: something at the school. And I'm like, oh man, I'm now. 728 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, this is what happened to that bank 729 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:47,799 Speaker 1: account yesterday, um, and you know frozen. I did call 730 00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,880 Speaker 1: the bank and they weren't able to give me any information. 731 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,239 Speaker 1: So I'm like, yeah, something's something's not right going on. Yeah, 732 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: something's going on. So when my son told me that 733 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 1: then I was like, okay, all right, I get it, 734 00:36:58,040 --> 00:37:00,200 Speaker 1: and I just let him know. You know, son, nowt um, 735 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:03,399 Speaker 1: just don't talk to anyone, don't answer the door or anything. UM, 736 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,280 Speaker 1: I'll be you know, I'll be home and I'll explain 737 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 1: it to you then. And they did there. So when 738 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,160 Speaker 1: you came back in your vacation, they arrestued to years food. No, no, 739 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: no no. Because I knew not to show back up there. 740 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I knew this was all over with, so 741 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: I was to show back up there to catch me. 742 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm not showing up there, but I 743 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 1: did want, you know, I wanted to go and face 744 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,879 Speaker 1: you know, I'm not I'm not running from this. There's 745 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,520 Speaker 1: no way I can run from over else. I wouldn't 746 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,359 Speaker 1: change that, you know. You know, but you know, I'm 747 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,359 Speaker 1: totally about, you know, being responsible for what I did. 748 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,200 Speaker 1: And I was ready to deal with it and get 749 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: it over with as soon as possible. That's how I 750 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,760 Speaker 1: was thinking about it, you know. But when I returned, 751 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:46,400 Speaker 1: this was also a time where my son was going 752 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: to be going to live on campuses first year of college. Uh, 753 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,280 Speaker 1: I kind of I went away before he came, before 754 00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:00,879 Speaker 1: he had to go, and uh if it was not good. 755 00:38:00,920 --> 00:38:03,560 Speaker 1: It wasn't a good feeling. It wasn't a godling at all. 756 00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,640 Speaker 1: It was the worst feeling in the world to know 757 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 1: that not only is something happening to me, but it's 758 00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 1: about to affect my children in a major way, you know. 759 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 1: Um and now they kind of like they've grown, Yeah, 760 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 1: they're grown, you know. I had one My oldest son 761 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,960 Speaker 1: was a year out of school already, um, out of 762 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: high school. Already and then I had my youngest son 763 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,200 Speaker 1: was just graduating. You know, he had just graduated from 764 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: high school and we were on our way to getting 765 00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 1: him into dorm. You know, he was gonna be going 766 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:36,400 Speaker 1: in that very next week. So UM, again, big accounts 767 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 1: are frozen. UM, I can't get the things that he 768 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,040 Speaker 1: needs for school and all the stuff. But all the 769 00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,279 Speaker 1: things that weighing on my head. When I was on 770 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,960 Speaker 1: my way back on that flight, UM, and I got back, UM, 771 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,640 Speaker 1: I knew that, you know, I wasn't to go back 772 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,880 Speaker 1: to my job. UM. I went home and UM I 773 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,800 Speaker 1: contacted the the the agents that had left their cards 774 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,719 Speaker 1: with my son. I contacted them, asked them, was I 775 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:04,759 Speaker 1: to turn myself in or you know what did they 776 00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 1: need me to do? Um? And he told me at 777 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:10,040 Speaker 1: that time, the detective at the time told me that 778 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,439 Speaker 1: they were still investigating, that they're not looking to arrest 779 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:13,919 Speaker 1: me at this time, but they didn't need to talk 780 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 1: to me. M you know, and I'm like okay, UM, 781 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:21,719 Speaker 1: you know, I just continue to remain in contact with them, 782 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,960 Speaker 1: trying to figure out, like how long does this take? 783 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,000 Speaker 1: Because we're talking about these are federal agents now, so 784 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 1: I'm talking about regular city police and also talking about 785 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,600 Speaker 1: federal agents. And I don't know how you I just 786 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: wanted it. What's so bad? Oh, my goodness is the 787 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,359 Speaker 1: fastest I got in it, the fastest I wanted out. 788 00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 1: I just wanted to be over. So between both schools, 789 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 1: how much did they say? You so between both schools, 790 00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,240 Speaker 1: so it would have had a quarter of a million 791 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,840 Speaker 1: dollars the first one and then this one seven thousand. 792 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 1: So so that's that's what they what they stayed. But 793 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 1: that's what they say. That's what they say. And you 794 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:01,759 Speaker 1: know what I also say to you that what I 795 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:03,400 Speaker 1: think I feel like the first time, like what they 796 00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:06,040 Speaker 1: were also counting was like my salary, my floll o 797 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,080 Speaker 1: one K and all that kind of stuff, and you know, 798 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,320 Speaker 1: everything that goes was going in and out of the 799 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,759 Speaker 1: account all the time. Wasn't always you know, not to 800 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,680 Speaker 1: make it any less than but I just never believe 801 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:19,480 Speaker 1: the calculations of it, right, Yeah, you know, but I 802 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 1: I see what you're saying, because if you already have 803 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: money and don't add that, yeah, like we're not going 804 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 1: to add everything that I had in there, you know. 805 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 1: And then they were trying to investigate, you know, like 806 00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,799 Speaker 1: the home that I bought is where these funds came from. 807 00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,799 Speaker 1: But those things really came out of my you know, 808 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 1: my income, my real in you know, you were still working. 809 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,120 Speaker 1: I was still working, you know, it was still coming 810 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:43,920 Speaker 1: out of my income. So, you know, there was just 811 00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,319 Speaker 1: a lot of things that happened. When I my first case, 812 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,440 Speaker 1: I had a twelve thousand dollar bond um and and 813 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,760 Speaker 1: everything was frozen up, so I didn't have the funds 814 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,960 Speaker 1: to bail myself out. My cousin's wife end up bailing 815 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: me out. Um. I wasn't allowed to use the house 816 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,799 Speaker 1: to put up for bail because they were investigating to 817 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,319 Speaker 1: see if the house, you know, if any of the 818 00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:04,880 Speaker 1: funds were appropriated to that. So it's just a lot 819 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 1: of things. It became a very financial stress. Is a 820 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:10,560 Speaker 1: big stress. It is a big stress. They could break 821 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,279 Speaker 1: you down, and you could, I mean, you could be 822 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:15,400 Speaker 1: gone for good if you have um some heavy financial stress. 823 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 1: But how did you remain so calm? Because I feel 824 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:23,960 Speaker 1: like you're just a calm person. Yeah, no, I mean 825 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:25,960 Speaker 1: I can only imagine you. Of course, I know you're 826 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 1: freaking out, but I don't know, I just feel like 827 00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 1: you just remain like it is what it is like, Letten, 828 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,920 Speaker 1: get this over with. And I'm telling you even a 829 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,439 Speaker 1: that is true with with me, I'll tell you what 830 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,440 Speaker 1: my personality is. I don't know where I developed that 831 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: mechanism from, but when something is chaotic, I work best 832 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:46,040 Speaker 1: in chaos, right, So when people are screaming, jumping up 833 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,719 Speaker 1: and down and going off, I get very calm. I 834 00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:52,320 Speaker 1: get very calm and I listen and I just talked 835 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:56,520 Speaker 1: calmly because I don't want to add to the craziness 836 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,600 Speaker 1: of the chaos, you know, And I feel like this 837 00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:00,960 Speaker 1: chaos going around, we need to sit and figure this 838 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 1: out and piece it out. And we can't do that 839 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 1: if I'm all over the place. Now. If I have 840 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,880 Speaker 1: a deadline to do something and it's like next month, 841 00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: I'm just it's not gonna get done util the day before. 842 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 1: That's how you know. That's how I worked, because I 843 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:16,239 Speaker 1: worked under depression. It's not good to do. But that's 844 00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,200 Speaker 1: just I don't know how I developed that, but it 845 00:42:18,239 --> 00:42:20,839 Speaker 1: just seems like it always works better when when it's 846 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,839 Speaker 1: like that. For me, I don't know. I really don't 847 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,799 Speaker 1: know where that comes from. I really don't, but I'm 848 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,920 Speaker 1: glad to say that I'm able to do that because 849 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 1: there are sometimes where I feel like I don't want 850 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,040 Speaker 1: to do that, you know, I feel like like, yo, 851 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,240 Speaker 1: I want to go off, you know, I wanna, I wanna. 852 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm I don't want to be this calm person because 853 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,760 Speaker 1: a lot of times people take your calmness for a weakness. Yeah, 854 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,360 Speaker 1: that's in fact, to take your calmness for a weakness, 855 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,080 Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, my my calmness is for 856 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:53,319 Speaker 1: your safety. Sometimes I feel like, listen, that's a fact too. 857 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to see me blacking out now, you know, 858 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,800 Speaker 1: you don't you know, you don't want to meet that person, 859 00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,640 Speaker 1: you know words, you know, in order in order for 860 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,279 Speaker 1: us to get through things that we all have, the 861 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:06,760 Speaker 1: things that we you know, are coping, are coping skills, 862 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:09,640 Speaker 1: you know, and in order for me, that's what I've 863 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,080 Speaker 1: always I've always been able to have that, like my 864 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:14,800 Speaker 1: coping skills. So when we go back to talking about 865 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,160 Speaker 1: you know, my kid's father, when you know him going 866 00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:21,000 Speaker 1: through the disease of addiction, there's a lot of times 867 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,319 Speaker 1: where I was just always like the Tasmanian devil, you know, 868 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,839 Speaker 1: like I feel like there was not a time I 869 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,960 Speaker 1: wasn't screaming. And I even tell you are our neighbors. 870 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 1: Everyone knew every time, oh my god, you could hear 871 00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 1: me down the street the way that I would scream 872 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,399 Speaker 1: all the time you could. And I was just think, 873 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 1: what happened is going through that for years and years 874 00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,600 Speaker 1: and and going through these situations, I just developed it. 875 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,759 Speaker 1: I'm just you know, I'm tired of doing that, Like 876 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 1: I can't. Nothing gets resolved when I'm in that in 877 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,799 Speaker 1: that way. Yeah, I'm in the same way like I 878 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:56,560 Speaker 1: was in. So I'm in therapy now. Therapy has calmed 879 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,319 Speaker 1: me down. I don't like the curse that people. I 880 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,319 Speaker 1: don't like to argue with people like I don't I 881 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,320 Speaker 1: want I just want to be a happy person, right 882 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,600 Speaker 1: right right, I don't want to know. Yeah, they would 883 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,480 Speaker 1: be really helped, like it's us. My friends had got 884 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,320 Speaker 1: into the situation and I was like nope, and I 885 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:16,800 Speaker 1: removed myself right yes, yes, yes, I um actually went um. 886 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 1: I was actually what I was saying to say. So 887 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,600 Speaker 1: a part of my conditions upon release of federal prison 888 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,000 Speaker 1: was that I had to go through therapy. So I 889 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,080 Speaker 1: had to see one of their therapists, and I was 890 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:32,080 Speaker 1: totally against them forcing me to do that as part 891 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:36,160 Speaker 1: of my conditions. Not because I didn't want therapy, because 892 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 1: I had, you know, gone through it at different periods 893 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:40,879 Speaker 1: in my life before, but it's that I didn't want 894 00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,080 Speaker 1: to have to go to the people they sent me 895 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,319 Speaker 1: to go to because I felt like, well, I think 896 00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,120 Speaker 1: I'll be telling you things that I'm saying. I don't 897 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,799 Speaker 1: feel that it's really confidential, and you know, so I 898 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:53,839 Speaker 1: was fighting against that, but really she ended up being, um, 899 00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,000 Speaker 1: you know, really good therapist for me, and I continued 900 00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:01,719 Speaker 1: to see her after my probation was over. You know nice. Yeah, wait, 901 00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,640 Speaker 1: so how much how much sense? How much time? If 902 00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,760 Speaker 1: you did this the second go round? So the second 903 00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,080 Speaker 1: go round, I was sentenced to a year and a 904 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,880 Speaker 1: day in federal prison. Yeah, and I had two years probation. 905 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 1: Two years probation, and um, you know that was tough. Um, 906 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,440 Speaker 1: this time, I didn't own a home anymore. I had 907 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,120 Speaker 1: lost my home prior to going through this case, the 908 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 1: last case. Um, so you know, I was in the 909 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:29,040 Speaker 1: process of losing so I didn't have the house anymore 910 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,319 Speaker 1: as of two thousand and eleven, I believe, Yeah, two 911 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:37,719 Speaker 1: thousand eleven. You know, I lost the house um and UM. 912 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,160 Speaker 1: It was tough because again there was no roof over there, 913 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:44,280 Speaker 1: there was no secured living, there was no secure of anything. 914 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,640 Speaker 1: You know, I lost, I lost every everything's gone. So 915 00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,479 Speaker 1: it's you know, I don't know what I'm gonna do. 916 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:53,400 Speaker 1: You know, the case took um So I think I 917 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:57,279 Speaker 1: the incident occurred in two thousand and twelve, but I 918 00:45:57,320 --> 00:46:02,239 Speaker 1: wasn't arrested until I UM, I wasn't in restam until 919 00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:06,840 Speaker 1: two thousand thirteen. Wow. So we were going through this, 920 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:12,120 Speaker 1: this case this whole time, so right, because that's why 921 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:14,360 Speaker 1: this is why people ask, well did you just turn yourself? 922 00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,120 Speaker 1: And no, I have to continue to keep in touch 923 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:18,040 Speaker 1: with them, so that I could not like, Okay, well 924 00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:19,680 Speaker 1: what day is gonna be. I gotta go find work, 925 00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:22,080 Speaker 1: I gotta you know, I metter, So what am I 926 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:23,800 Speaker 1: supposed to do? Sit and wait? Or what am I 927 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,399 Speaker 1: supposed to do? So that, Yes, it stresses you out, 928 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,040 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I think that that's one of the 929 00:46:29,680 --> 00:46:32,320 Speaker 1: reasons why they do things that way, because you're taking 930 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,960 Speaker 1: all this time. I don't know when you're coming. I 931 00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,719 Speaker 1: don't know when when what's gonna happen? When when is 932 00:46:37,719 --> 00:46:40,520 Speaker 1: it gonna happen, then you gotta go through the craziness 933 00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:45,560 Speaker 1: of that. That's a stressful right there. Then once you start, 934 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,840 Speaker 1: you know, once you do talk to them and stuff, 935 00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:49,520 Speaker 1: and once you do get arrested, then you got another 936 00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:53,840 Speaker 1: waiting period. So as you'll see, I didn't go to 937 00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 1: prison until January of two thousand and fourteen, so that's 938 00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:00,120 Speaker 1: all that time from tooth to August of two in 939 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,600 Speaker 1: the twelve Yeah, that would have drawn me crazy, like 940 00:47:03,719 --> 00:47:05,319 Speaker 1: just come arrest of me, let's get this over with. 941 00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:07,560 Speaker 1: That's what I'm telling you. When I came off that plane, 942 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,200 Speaker 1: I was ready to go. But this is not how 943 00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:12,960 Speaker 1: the federal government works. They do not work fast. They 944 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,560 Speaker 1: don't know. Yeah, so it was it was a lot 945 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,320 Speaker 1: of It was a lot of stress for the waiting 946 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,719 Speaker 1: period and what's gonna happen. It's just all of that. 947 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,000 Speaker 1: And when I was in federal prison, I learned from 948 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,560 Speaker 1: some other women that they had done their crying five 949 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 1: years ago and they have been waiting all this time 950 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,360 Speaker 1: and thinking five years just that, Yes, in five years, 951 00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:36,560 Speaker 1: you forgotten five years exactly exactly like you've moved on 952 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: with your life. You barely remember what that was about. 953 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 1: Now five years later, you've changed your life. You're a 954 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:43,799 Speaker 1: whole different person, and now you're gonna go to jail now, 955 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:49,439 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It does because the whole time, yeah, 956 00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 1: you can't really make any any moves, you know. You know, 957 00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,960 Speaker 1: so it's tough. It was tough. And did you have 958 00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,200 Speaker 1: to pay back? Are you paying back restitution? Yeah? So 959 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,520 Speaker 1: I'm paying rest of tuition on top of that. Again, 960 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,319 Speaker 1: here's another way that you know, um, you could be 961 00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:07,799 Speaker 1: financially burdened and you know, forced to probably try to 962 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,920 Speaker 1: make another MOVI is because I came home two, I 963 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,480 Speaker 1: had to pay eighty seven thousand dollars of restitution. So 964 00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,440 Speaker 1: I have to make monthly payments on that. And that 965 00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:21,920 Speaker 1: restitution payment begin while I was in prison. So I worked. Well, yeah, 966 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:25,279 Speaker 1: so I worked while I was in prison, and they 967 00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:28,520 Speaker 1: would take, um, let's say I made eighteen dollars a month, 968 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:35,399 Speaker 1: and they would take like six dollars a month, right, 969 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:38,200 Speaker 1: so they take six dollars of my restitution payment towards it. 970 00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:39,920 Speaker 1: Not that that's a lot, but it is if you 971 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:44,880 Speaker 1: make eighteen dollars a month, So they take that, they 972 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 1: take that six dollars and then I come home, and 973 00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:50,799 Speaker 1: I have these documents from the State of Massachusetts telling 974 00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:53,480 Speaker 1: me that I did not claim the stolen money that 975 00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:57,320 Speaker 1: I um um, that I pled guilty to in federal court, 976 00:48:57,600 --> 00:48:59,839 Speaker 1: and now I owe a ten thousand dollar tax laing 977 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:03,920 Speaker 1: for the state of Massachusetts. So you know, it's like 978 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:08,520 Speaker 1: that could have killed me upon coming home all of 979 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: this stress. I can't. I don't know what to do. 980 00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,200 Speaker 1: You know, I want to give up, but you know what, 981 00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,600 Speaker 1: giving up is just never the option, you know you 982 00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,239 Speaker 1: might have. Yeah, we're not gonna give up. It's never 983 00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:19,279 Speaker 1: an option, but you know, because I'm gonna help you 984 00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:23,200 Speaker 1: with something, Yeah, figuring it out, give up? Yeah, so 985 00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:27,120 Speaker 1: you have to have strong How has your situation humble you? 986 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,600 Speaker 1: I'm totally humbled by it. It humbled me for the 987 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,840 Speaker 1: fact of again, Um, you know, troubles are not bigger 988 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:36,120 Speaker 1: than you are. You know, the troubles are not bigger 989 00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:38,719 Speaker 1: than you you you know, and nothing is bigger than God, 990 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,560 Speaker 1: nothing at all. So um, you know, it's not to 991 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:43,919 Speaker 1: say that you're not gonna go through anything, or that 992 00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:46,440 Speaker 1: you know times won't get tough, but it is to 993 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:49,360 Speaker 1: say that you believe in yourself, believe that that you 994 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:53,080 Speaker 1: will come out of these situations. Don't try to think that. 995 00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:55,760 Speaker 1: You know, I felt I was in control of everything. 996 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,040 Speaker 1: So I'm sitting up here trying to hurry up and 997 00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,600 Speaker 1: make this here and this work here and move these 998 00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:04,120 Speaker 1: pieces around. Um. But really I shouldn't have. If I 999 00:50:04,120 --> 00:50:06,320 Speaker 1: would have stopped and understood that I'm not in control 1000 00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,440 Speaker 1: of these things. Have some patients sit and wait, figure 1001 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:11,640 Speaker 1: it out in the right way and let God do 1002 00:50:11,719 --> 00:50:13,680 Speaker 1: his job. Then you know, I wouldn't have been in 1003 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,760 Speaker 1: that situation. You know. So you have to start having 1004 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:20,560 Speaker 1: an understanding of your place. You know, of your place 1005 00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 1: in your position. And when I went to Federal prison, 1006 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,480 Speaker 1: I felt like it was that um you know, not 1007 00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:29,759 Speaker 1: too not to um harparm religion, but I you know, 1008 00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,800 Speaker 1: I believe in God truly, and I feel like he 1009 00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,880 Speaker 1: yoked me up by the back of my shirt and 1010 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,759 Speaker 1: sat me down in Kentucky. You know, he said he 1011 00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:40,719 Speaker 1: did it and I and while I was there the 1012 00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:43,920 Speaker 1: whole time, I just you know, I just prayed and 1013 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,200 Speaker 1: prayed and prayed and ask for peace. I didn't ask 1014 00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,759 Speaker 1: for anything else. I just want to be in this 1015 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:51,000 Speaker 1: place and have peace with myself, be able to deal 1016 00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,680 Speaker 1: with the fact, like I'm not dealing with my little 1017 00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,560 Speaker 1: boys anymore. Now, I'm dealing with some my adult my 1018 00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:58,520 Speaker 1: son's adult males. They don't have a support system there, 1019 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,200 Speaker 1: and you know, that's just a recipe for disaster for 1020 00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:03,279 Speaker 1: them for their lives, their young blackmails out here on 1021 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,719 Speaker 1: the street. You know. So I worried. I worried every 1022 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,200 Speaker 1: day if I was gonna come home, if my sons 1023 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,239 Speaker 1: were going to be in prison, also if they were 1024 00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:12,680 Speaker 1: going to be killed on the street today. You know, 1025 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:15,520 Speaker 1: I that messed with me every day. Every day. That 1026 00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,440 Speaker 1: was all all I thought about, and I just prayed 1027 00:51:18,440 --> 00:51:21,440 Speaker 1: to God for peace and to cover them and to 1028 00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:26,279 Speaker 1: make it out of that. Well, I really want to 1029 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,960 Speaker 1: support you. Um, so when is this book coming out 1030 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,360 Speaker 1: so we can get these girls support you and purchase 1031 00:51:31,440 --> 00:51:33,359 Speaker 1: this book so we can get this reciituse paid all. 1032 00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:37,759 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, because we gotta get this book coming out. 1033 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,440 Speaker 1: Like what are you working on now? I'm working on 1034 00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,160 Speaker 1: the book right now. You know, have a lot of 1035 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,160 Speaker 1: different speaking engagements that I'm going to be doing. UM. 1036 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,320 Speaker 1: I have like a program that I'm trying to create 1037 00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:51,240 Speaker 1: for incarcerated UM, for families of incarcerated and formally incarcerated women. 1038 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,600 Speaker 1: I want to work on a re entry program as well. 1039 00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,720 Speaker 1: I started a nonprofit organization called Sisters United for Change, 1040 00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:00,719 Speaker 1: and through that nonprofit organization as how I plan to 1041 00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:04,279 Speaker 1: do that work giving back to the community, UM and 1042 00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:07,480 Speaker 1: helping those UM those are making re entry back into 1043 00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,359 Speaker 1: the world. UM as I totally understand how difficult it is, 1044 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:15,080 Speaker 1: UM the limited resources that we have. My book, my book. 1045 00:52:15,120 --> 00:52:17,319 Speaker 1: I'm excited about this book. I've been wanting to do 1046 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:20,359 Speaker 1: a book for years, but now it's the perfect time 1047 00:52:20,400 --> 00:52:22,680 Speaker 1: to do it. And it will go into more detail 1048 00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:25,360 Speaker 1: about my life growing up as a child and what 1049 00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,919 Speaker 1: I've gone through. Some of that you've seen in the documentary, 1050 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:32,600 Speaker 1: but again in more and more detail and in better timeline. UM. 1051 00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,480 Speaker 1: And you'll get to know more of who I am 1052 00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:37,520 Speaker 1: and about my story. UM. And I plan to have 1053 00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,600 Speaker 1: that book. Start marketing that book in May. I'll also 1054 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:43,880 Speaker 1: be going on I'll be on our radio tour starting 1055 00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,000 Speaker 1: May fifteen for the book, and UM, you'll start before 1056 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,840 Speaker 1: that happens, you'll start to see, like the cover, different 1057 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,480 Speaker 1: excerpts from the book. I'll stop posting those as time 1058 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,600 Speaker 1: goes along, so you know, we'll we'll we'll get it 1059 00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:58,760 Speaker 1: together and get it out there all right Friday today. 1060 00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:02,680 Speaker 1: Absolutely we could do a giveaway. I can purchase two 1061 00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,799 Speaker 1: copies for sure. I want to support you. But I'm 1062 00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,359 Speaker 1: excited and so happy for you. I think that I'm 1063 00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:10,279 Speaker 1: really excited to hear your story from me, Like, I mean, 1064 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:11,759 Speaker 1: you have a conversation. But I just feel like with 1065 00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,360 Speaker 1: the documentary, like it was a good introduction, but I 1066 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,799 Speaker 1: can tell that it was some pieces that was missing. Yeah, 1067 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,080 Speaker 1: there's a lot of pieces missing. And you know, one 1068 00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:21,279 Speaker 1: thing is, um, what people always say to me when 1069 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 1: you're doing interviews, you look like you're still holding back 1070 00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:26,319 Speaker 1: and not giving us some information. And it's like, you know, 1071 00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,239 Speaker 1: it's not that I'm trying to hold back information. For 1072 00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,040 Speaker 1: one thing is that I want to make sure that 1073 00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,399 Speaker 1: I give detail perfect information in the book as well, 1074 00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:37,279 Speaker 1: you know, plugging the book. Um, so some things I'm 1075 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,319 Speaker 1: not too um, don't give too much of because you know, 1076 00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:42,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put it in the book. The other is 1077 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,600 Speaker 1: that it's still still uncomfortable to talk about hurtful and 1078 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:50,360 Speaker 1: painful things. You know, these things are you know, this 1079 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:53,120 Speaker 1: is real life. It's not a reality show of scripted 1080 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,399 Speaker 1: show or anything like that. This is this is real life. 1081 00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,120 Speaker 1: This is really what happened to me, and this is 1082 00:53:57,160 --> 00:53:59,200 Speaker 1: really what I'm going through, and this is what really 1083 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:01,960 Speaker 1: a lot of people are going through. UM. And I'm 1084 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,680 Speaker 1: just your regular typical young lady come from the hood, 1085 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:07,880 Speaker 1: trying to work her way up the ladder to do 1086 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:10,520 Speaker 1: better and to provide for herself and her family. And 1087 00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,359 Speaker 1: at the end of the day, that's really what it's 1088 00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:17,600 Speaker 1: all about. You know. No, I don't get tired of 1089 00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:19,799 Speaker 1: telling it. I think that I'm getting better at it. 1090 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,239 Speaker 1: You know, it's all of it. It's been. It's been. 1091 00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,880 Speaker 1: It's not been very easy. Like just think of when 1092 00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:29,000 Speaker 1: I took the show. I didn't know those people more 1093 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:32,560 Speaker 1: than ten minutes before I started telling them everything. You know, 1094 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:34,440 Speaker 1: it was just on film, so there was no direction 1095 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:36,719 Speaker 1: or I didn't get to practice or anything like that 1096 00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:39,080 Speaker 1: before they came and filmed. It was I just met 1097 00:54:39,120 --> 00:54:41,080 Speaker 1: you five minutes ago. This is what happened to me. 1098 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,840 Speaker 1: That was tough. You know, it's pretty tough to do UM. 1099 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,400 Speaker 1: Going to the radio stations and being asked, you know, 1100 00:54:47,440 --> 00:54:51,520 Speaker 1: people have different questions. That's pretty tough because there's there's 1101 00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:55,319 Speaker 1: still painful things I still carry the pain of these things, um, 1102 00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:58,640 Speaker 1: and so talking about them hasn't been so easy. But 1103 00:54:58,680 --> 00:55:00,960 Speaker 1: I'm starting to get used to the whole you know, 1104 00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:04,359 Speaker 1: understanding of I'm not telling this story because of me. 1105 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,480 Speaker 1: I'm telling this story because there's another young lady out 1106 00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,280 Speaker 1: there and she's in a dark in a dark place, 1107 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:11,480 Speaker 1: and she doesn't know that she's gonna come out of this. 1108 00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:14,080 Speaker 1: Because when you're in a dark place, you don't think 1109 00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:17,319 Speaker 1: that it's you're ever gonna come out. And that's why 1110 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,040 Speaker 1: I really want to have you on the show, because 1111 00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:21,759 Speaker 1: I feel like so many women can relate to you 1112 00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:23,879 Speaker 1: because like I understand, that's how I was, Like, damn, 1113 00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:25,759 Speaker 1: I understood why she did it, Like her back was 1114 00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:30,840 Speaker 1: against the wall, right, But what's more important you and 1115 00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:32,920 Speaker 1: these kids out on the streets or it is what 1116 00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:34,719 Speaker 1: it is, and you gotta do what you gotta dissolutely, 1117 00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:38,000 Speaker 1: absolutely and and that and that's what that's what survival is. 1118 00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:41,719 Speaker 1: You know what some people survival for people call, you know, 1119 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:48,440 Speaker 1: a crime. In our communities, it's called survival. Survival. Yeah, now, 1120 00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,279 Speaker 1: and that's on and that's how I take it. Well, 1121 00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:56,560 Speaker 1: last week, everybody wants to know that do you have 1122 00:55:56,600 --> 00:56:00,200 Speaker 1: any regrets I do. I do. I have regrets. I 1123 00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,800 Speaker 1: have regrets that I that I didn't. UM, I didn't 1124 00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,360 Speaker 1: believe in myself enough that I would be able to 1125 00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:09,440 Speaker 1: make another decision that would have brought me out of 1126 00:56:09,480 --> 00:56:13,600 Speaker 1: that situation. I didn't. I didn't. UM, I didn't give 1127 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,680 Speaker 1: myself enough belief and I didn't give myself enough credit 1128 00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,640 Speaker 1: that I was smart enough to do something better than that. UM. 1129 00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,719 Speaker 1: I regret that I took one minute out of my 1130 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:27,480 Speaker 1: children's lives. Um, for any dollar, no dollar amount can 1131 00:56:27,560 --> 00:56:29,960 Speaker 1: equal to the time that I missed with my kids. 1132 00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,040 Speaker 1: And you think three months is in a long time, 1133 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,480 Speaker 1: It seemed to me like it was a hundred years. 1134 00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:36,800 Speaker 1: You think a year in a day, which was actually 1135 00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:40,480 Speaker 1: ten months that I did in in Kentucky. Um, not 1136 00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,000 Speaker 1: even in the same state as my family. That seemed 1137 00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,560 Speaker 1: like a million years to me. And UM, no dollar 1138 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:51,120 Speaker 1: could ever be worth that, not at all. Yeah. Wait, 1139 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:54,560 Speaker 1: one more question, and I'm like, I'm like, did you 1140 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,920 Speaker 1: have a conversation with the girl that was on the documentary, 1141 00:56:57,080 --> 00:56:59,759 Speaker 1: the one girl that got you called the first tilf No, 1142 00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:02,239 Speaker 1: the so there was so the second time the young 1143 00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:04,840 Speaker 1: lady that you see on the documentary. Her name is 1144 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:08,360 Speaker 1: Astrid and she's actually she's actually a friend of ours. 1145 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:10,799 Speaker 1: You know, she's a friend of UM. The day that 1146 00:57:10,880 --> 00:57:13,200 Speaker 1: she went and you know she she was, she had asked, 1147 00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:15,040 Speaker 1: like the people want to interview. I gave them her 1148 00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:17,439 Speaker 1: name to contact her an interview, because hey, it can't 1149 00:57:17,680 --> 00:57:19,760 Speaker 1: just be a one sided story, you know, it can't 1150 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:22,520 Speaker 1: be one sided. That it's not one side. And I 1151 00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,720 Speaker 1: don't feel no kind of way about how she feels. 1152 00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,760 Speaker 1: I don't. I I know Asta, I love her. And 1153 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:31,120 Speaker 1: again this was something that I did. I actually used her, 1154 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:34,040 Speaker 1: like I was explaining to you before, the one lady 1155 00:57:34,080 --> 00:57:37,120 Speaker 1: that called UM, and I knew I needed to fix it. 1156 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:39,520 Speaker 1: How I would fix it is by taking from someone 1157 00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:42,680 Speaker 1: else to fix someone else's So I was creating a mess, 1158 00:57:43,080 --> 00:57:44,960 Speaker 1: you know. And and she was one of the ones 1159 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,160 Speaker 1: that I had used to fix someone else's UM, like 1160 00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:51,320 Speaker 1: the year before, something like that, and Um, I had 1161 00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:53,680 Speaker 1: a conversation with her about it. I have given my 1162 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:56,600 Speaker 1: apologies to her, and I don't feel any kind of 1163 00:57:56,640 --> 00:57:59,760 Speaker 1: way about how she how she felt about it, And 1164 00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:01,640 Speaker 1: we have no we have no problem with each other. 1165 00:58:01,960 --> 00:58:04,080 Speaker 1: You know, she's she's you know, she's one of my 1166 00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:09,560 Speaker 1: friends that are part of our family. I could say, ye, well, 1167 00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,840 Speaker 1: I'm so excited for everything that's gonna happen with you 1168 00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:14,160 Speaker 1: once that book comes out. I'm definitely going to promote 1169 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,640 Speaker 1: it for you, Gause. I cannot wait to hear your 1170 00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 1: story from your mouth, your words. Absolute um. If y'all 1171 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:24,680 Speaker 1: have any questions, proments, with concerns from my guests, please 1172 00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:28,120 Speaker 1: email me and hello at the PhD podcast and to 1173 00:58:28,240 --> 00:58:30,200 Speaker 1: my guests, thank you so much, like this has been 1174 00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:35,320 Speaker 1: like one of my favorite episodes and until next time everyone, 1175 00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:36,840 Speaker 1: Later later,