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Speaker 1: All right, happy sinco de mayo. Everybody. By the way,

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Speaker 1: it is May fifth. Huh. All right, yea, and time

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Speaker 1: now for today's Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve RVFM

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Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter, uhha, live on the air, just like

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Speaker 1: we're gonna read this one right here could be yours.

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Speaker 1: You never know. Muggle up, hold on tight, we got

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Speaker 1: it for you. Here. It is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject I fell for the Oki Doke. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm a thirty eight year old single mother and I'm

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Speaker 1: in a crazy situation with my ex'es. I was married

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Speaker 1: eight years to a man that cheated on me multiple times.

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Speaker 1: The first time was right after I had had our

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Speaker 1: first child. I forgave him and we moved on with life.

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Speaker 1: Three years later, I got pregnant again and he started

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Speaker 1: acting out again. I was in labor when I found

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Speaker 1: out he cheated. The second time, he fell asleep and

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Speaker 1: his phone rang, so I answered it and the lady

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Speaker 1: told me everything. When I got home, from the hospital.

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Speaker 1: He was gone and I started raising my children alone.

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Speaker 1: A year later, I decided to file for divorce. One

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Speaker 1: of my former CA workers helped me with the process,

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Speaker 1: and we grew very close because she came over often

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Speaker 1: to check on me and the children. Right as my

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Speaker 1: divorce was final, I found myself in a relationship with

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Speaker 1: this woman. She arranged visitation with my ex husband and

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Speaker 1: the children so I didn't have to talk to him

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Speaker 1: or deal with him at all. A year had passed

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Speaker 1: and I thought things were going good until one Saturday

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Speaker 1: when I decided to go to the outlet mall in

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Speaker 1: the neighboring city. I passed by a restaurant and recognized

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend on the patio with my ex husband. I

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Speaker 1: parked and watched them for a while, and he couldn't

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Speaker 1: keep his hands off her and she could not stop blushing.

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Speaker 1: I fell for the okie doke and let this woman

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Speaker 1: slide right into the arms of my ex husband. She

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Speaker 1: knew exactly how he treated me and how lowdown he is,

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Speaker 1: yet she used me to get to him. She came

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Speaker 1: to my house later that day and I showed her

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Speaker 1: picks of her and my ex that I took on

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Speaker 1: my phone. All she said was I'm so sorry and

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Speaker 1: she left. My ex tried calling me, but I blocked him.

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Speaker 1: How will I ever trust a man or a woman

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Speaker 1: again in a relationship? Who? Okay, these are two horrible

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Speaker 1: people who actually deserve each other, your ex husband and

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Speaker 1: your ex girlfriend. I know you're hurt. I know you're

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Speaker 1: betrayed right now, but whatever this is between them, don't worry.

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Speaker 1: It's not gonna last. It's not. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: she's a backstabbing ex friend and the side chick. They

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Speaker 1: usually don't, you know, stick with them. We haven't had

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Speaker 1: one like this in a while though, Steve, So to

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Speaker 1: the letter, this is a mess, right we have. It's

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Speaker 1: been a minute, So to the letter writer, Basically, your

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Speaker 1: husband cheated on you throughout your marriage, and when you

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Speaker 1: had had enough, you divorced him. Your female friend from

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Speaker 1: from work that you used to work with stepped in

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Speaker 1: to help you get through it. All. You guys ended

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Speaker 1: up in a relationship, and now she's cheating on you

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Speaker 1: with your ex husband that she helped you get over.

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Speaker 1: And wasn't it nice of her to say she was

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Speaker 1: so sorry when you showed her the pictures? Wow? Your

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Speaker 1: question is how do you trust a man or a

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Speaker 1: woman again? I mean to that, I just say, it's

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Speaker 1: not going to happen tomorrow. You know, trust once as

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Speaker 1: broken as a thing, and you have to build and

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Speaker 1: you don't need to trust them. But in your next relationships, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's probably going to be a problem with you. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna take some time. I say, don't jump into another

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Speaker 1: relationship right away. You need a moment to process all

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Speaker 1: of this because this is crazy. This really is crazy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, betrayal upon betrayal is what happened to you.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'll say this, judge any new prospects on

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Speaker 1: their own merit. You know, you're talking about trust now

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Speaker 1: and how they treat you, not on the baggage from

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Speaker 1: your past. You know, you'll really find out how strong

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Speaker 1: you are when you go through something. The best revenge

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Speaker 1: is success looking good. So I say, work on yourself,

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Speaker 1: take care of your kids, don't let bitterness take over.

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Speaker 1: Keep moving forward. You know, remember you gotta give yourself time.

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Speaker 1: This was a lot. This was a lot. This was

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Speaker 1: a lot in time, heals, it was a whole lot

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Speaker 1: to deal with. Steve. Right when I was reading the letter,

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Speaker 1: thinking I had a handle on it or the handle broke. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and then all the coffee fell out the cup. And

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Speaker 1: this is just lady, I see the opening. I'm a

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Speaker 1: thirty eight year old single mother and I'm in a

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Speaker 1: crazy situation with my exes. That was no clue on

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Speaker 1: who these exes was at all. So you're married to

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Speaker 1: this man cheated on you multiple times. Now, most of

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Speaker 1: this could be over with had you done a couple

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Speaker 1: of things differently early. I'll save that for last though.

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Speaker 1: And the first time was right after you had your

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Speaker 1: first child. You forgave him and y'all moved on with life.

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Speaker 1: But see, there were no repercussions. Once a man don't

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Speaker 1: have rep cussions, then there's no consequences. Then there's no

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Speaker 1: teaching moment. We just required at almost all of us do.

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Speaker 1: It's like your children. It's like they require repercussions and

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Speaker 1: consequences for the lesson to really stick. If you don't

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Speaker 1: want to do that, you're gonna happen again. Well, it

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Speaker 1: happens again next, So you pregnant again. He fell asleep.

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Speaker 1: Now this time you were in labor. He fell asleep.

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Speaker 1: His phone rang I answered, and the lady told you everything.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm trying to figure out when you're in the

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Speaker 1: hospital in labor. Yeah, all right, hang on, we'll have

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Speaker 1: part two of us Steve's response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Subject for today, I fell

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Speaker 1: for the Oki joke. Um. Wow, we'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it at twenty three minutes after the hour right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, let's let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's letter. The subject I Fell for the Oky doke.

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Speaker 1: All right, thirty eight year old single mother. Crazy situation

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Speaker 1: with access. She was married to a man to cheat

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Speaker 1: it on a bunch of times. The first time, after

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Speaker 1: they had their first child, she forgave him and they

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Speaker 1: moved on. Three years later, she got pregnant again and

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Speaker 1: he started acting out again. I was in labor. I

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Speaker 1: found out he cheated the second time. He fell asleep

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Speaker 1: in his phone ring. So I answered, and the lady

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Speaker 1: told me everything while you in label. Wow, now here's

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Speaker 1: a crazy part. When I got home from the hospital,

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Speaker 1: he was gone. He was just gone. So now you

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Speaker 1: raised the children alone. Then a year later you filed

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Speaker 1: for divorce. Co worker helped you with the process. We

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Speaker 1: go very close because she came over often to check

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Speaker 1: on me and the children. Right as his divorce was final,

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Speaker 1: I found myself in relationship with this woman. Now I've

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Speaker 1: been divorced twice. Yeah, you obviously were very distraught and

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Speaker 1: you sought comfort. Now who it come from, that's your business.

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Speaker 1: Do you boot and so? Now? But here's but now,

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Speaker 1: here's what I tell you. I don't care who you

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Speaker 1: doing it with. Once you get into relationship, the problems

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Speaker 1: is the same. Man on man, woman on woman. Man

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Speaker 1: boy meets girls. You get in relationship, like everybody talking

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Speaker 1: about marriage, go getting married. Okay, okay, you'll see this

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Speaker 1: is work now. So she arranged vegetation with my ex

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Speaker 1: husband and the children, so I didn't even have to

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Speaker 1: talk a deal with him. A year pass and I

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Speaker 1: thought things were going good. And to one Saturday, you

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Speaker 1: was going out to the outlet mall in the neighboring

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Speaker 1: city and you was driving by this restaurant and you

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Speaker 1: recognize your girlfriend on the patio with your ex husband.

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Speaker 1: So you parked and watched them for a while. He

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Speaker 1: couldn't keep his hands off her and she couldn't stop blushing.

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Speaker 1: I failed for the okay, doc, and I let this

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Speaker 1: woman slide into the arms of my ex husband slid.

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Speaker 1: This woman knew exactly how this woman treated you and

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Speaker 1: everything and how low down he is. Yes, she used

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Speaker 1: me to get to him. She came to your house

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Speaker 1: later that day and I showed a picture of my

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Speaker 1: ex that I took on my phone, and all she

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Speaker 1: said was I'm so sorry. Yeah that was that was

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Speaker 1: real nice and left. My ex husband tried calling me,

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Speaker 1: but I blocked him. Well, the reason your ex husband

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Speaker 1: stried calling you, it's because she called him and said,

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Speaker 1: laud Jesus. She saw us at the outlet mall and

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Speaker 1: she showed me pictures, so I blocked him. How will

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Speaker 1: I ever trust a man or woman again in any relationship? Okay,

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Speaker 1: here's a deal. Let's forget about the term the question

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Speaker 1: you're asking, how can I ever trust a man or

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Speaker 1: woman in another relationship? Because there are good men and

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Speaker 1: women out there that you can be in relationships with

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Speaker 1: text time. That's not the problem. Your problem is not trust,

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Speaker 1: but it's better timing and better decision making. So when

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Speaker 1: Shirley said earlier, the real issue is you got to

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Speaker 1: take some time just for you. You was in a

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Speaker 1: traumatic divorce. As soon as divorce was over you fell

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Speaker 1: into arms and this woman. Then the woman fell into

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Speaker 1: the arms and your ex, and your ex fell into

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Speaker 1: the arms of her, and everybody holding somebody self to

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Speaker 1: you right now. And so what this becomes, it's not

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Speaker 1: about trust. It's just about better timing and better decisions.

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Speaker 1: And the timing I'm talking about is you need some

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Speaker 1: time just to do you to treat yourself right. See,

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Speaker 1: don't let these people ruin your idea of what the

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Speaker 1: relationships can be, because they are all relationships that don't

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Speaker 1: have trust issues in it. You just got to get

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Speaker 1: to that one. But see, let me take you back

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Speaker 1: to your better decision. When your husband cheated the first time,

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Speaker 1: you said, they treated multiple times, but the first time

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Speaker 1: you found out about it, y'all just went on with life.

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Speaker 1: There was no consequences. So I'm assuming some other times happened.

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Speaker 1: But the next time you busted him, you were labor

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Speaker 1: in the hospital. That was no consequences. What you mean

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Speaker 1: you came home, he was just gone. You was married. No, No,

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Speaker 1: you can't just up and go. Where was the consequences?

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Speaker 1: He just gone. No, you ain't gonna no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: You're gonna make some donations over here, partner, But you've

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Speaker 1: got to learn to make better decisions, and you could

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Speaker 1: have avoided this second one or third one. Maybe I'm

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Speaker 1: just saying you, once you have self love and you

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Speaker 1: know how it feels to love yourself, you don't accept

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Speaker 1: bad love from other people because you know what loving

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Speaker 1: yourself is about. And if ain't nobody gonna treat you

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Speaker 1: the way you want to be treated, then don't move

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Speaker 1: in that direction, and then take your time, slow down.

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Speaker 1: Just because this woman was helpful, there ain't no reason

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Speaker 1: to fall into her homes helpful. Hell, I help people

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Speaker 1: on the Strawberry Letter, me and Shelly, but we're not

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Speaker 1: falling into your own all right. Listen, thank you, Steve

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Speaker 1: your caradio show. Think that serious? So crazy? These are

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Speaker 1: These are real issues though. Poster comments on Today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook. Check

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Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up

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Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour, Sports Talk with Junior.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to Steve Harvey Morning Show