1 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Bachelor Happy Hours, Golden Hour. 2 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 2: We're back, Kathy. 3 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 3: You're so excited always always, thank y'all for joining us. 4 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 4: And I don't know, I'm feeling like a. 5 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 3: Broken record, Susan, because if you haven't listened to our 6 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,120 Speaker 3: episode on Wednesday. 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 4: You might have missed out. I don't know. 8 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 3: They're all great, but Kylie Russell was with us. You 9 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 3: need to check it out because we had so much fun. 10 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 3: I don't know, Susan, tell I. 11 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: Know what about start the truth? I mean, everybody needs to 12 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: hear this. She came clean and she spoke what really 13 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: that she's going through and everything that she went through. 14 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: She was a perfect lady. She was just adorable. They 15 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: just broke up that she's hurting and healing. She was amazing. 16 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,639 Speaker 3: I have to say to you, you and I been 17 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 3: third nine years old or a little more. But seriously, 18 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 3: did I was so proud of her, I mean and 19 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 3: happy for her at the same time, happy that she 20 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 3: turned the page. Knows new she needed to turn the page, 21 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 3: but just so honest and heartfelt about. 22 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: Gave a second chance. She tried really hard. She shared everything. 23 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 3: Guys, if you did not hear this episode, you need 24 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 3: to listen because they met on Paradise and they fell 25 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: in love, and she said they had been together for 26 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 3: a year when they broke up, and he broke up 27 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 3: with her he needs this head examinel. 28 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: And she said she trusted that he was trying and 29 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 1: giving her all, but I'm not going to give it 30 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: all the way. 31 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 2: You guys, definitely go back and listen to that. 32 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 3: You're right, season this is this is a great one 33 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 3: and it's it's it really is kind of an earth 34 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 3: shattering I think it good. And her shadowing maybe it's 35 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 3: overspeaking it, but it is a great episode and I'm 36 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 3: so proud of her, so proud. 37 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:08,640 Speaker 2: Definitely proud of her. 38 00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: And today we're answering more of our fan questions and 39 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: we're so excited to get into these I love these 40 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: things when they ask us stuff. 41 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, it's I feel like it's just so much 42 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 3: fun to give our advice and listen to what other 43 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 3: people have to say. 44 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, and here are some other people's advice, Like what Kytley, 45 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: you joined in with us for some advice. 46 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 4: Wasn't she amazing? Oh she's twenty six years old. 47 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,400 Speaker 3: Oh god, bless it gives me hope gives me hope. 48 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: All right, Kathy, Before we get into these questions, let's 49 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 1: get started with my favorite Today's question of the day. 50 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: So lately, this has been a big topic of discussion online. 51 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: If you are proposed to with a ring you really 52 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: don't like, what would you do? 53 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 3: You know? I got to be honest. I think in 54 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 3: today's world, people talk about when they're getting engaged what 55 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 3: kind of ring they want. They go ring shopping the 56 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 3: elementary cat. That's not what it says. 57 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 4: Here. 58 00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:13,519 Speaker 1: Somebody you're dating and you love drops down with a 59 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: ring and you hate it. 60 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 2: You hate it. 61 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 4: You know what I'm gonna do? 62 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: Not right then and there? You say yes first, and 63 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: then lader say, babe, this isn't what I wanted. 64 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 3: If you really don't like the ring, but you really 65 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 3: like the guy, you say, get up off your knees. 66 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm going to marry you if. 67 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 2: We got to exchange this. 68 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. But I you know, I know it's a hot topic, 69 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 4: and I know. 70 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 2: That I don't know people do it. Really, I'd have 71 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,119 Speaker 2: to suffer in quiet for a little bit. I don't 72 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,800 Speaker 2: want to hurt his feelings. Maybe who helped you pick 73 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: this up? 74 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 4: This is not me and then you're gonna wear it 75 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 4: for the next fifty years. 76 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,960 Speaker 2: No, I'm going to have them trade it up. Probably. 77 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's They didn't say size of ring, Susan. 78 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,480 Speaker 3: They didn't say four carrot versus half a carrot. 79 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 4: Could well listen. 80 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 3: I was on an airplane yesterday with two people who 81 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 3: are about to get engaged, and they've been ring shopping, 82 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 3: and she showed me pictures of what she wants and 83 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 3: right down. 84 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 2: Give her her number. Maybe she'll call tell you after 85 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 2: she hears this. 86 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 3: She actually asks for my jeweler's phone number because she 87 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 3: wants to have her design it. Because my jeweler is 88 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,000 Speaker 3: a great designer. And as soon as my jeweler gives 89 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 3: me a free piece of jewelry, I'll give her a 90 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 3: call out on the show. Until then, her name is jeweler. Anyway, 91 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 3: I would, I would would what would you do? Wait? 92 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,720 Speaker 4: Would you seriously wear it? Or would you? 93 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 1: I would wear it that first night, and then I 94 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: would go home with him and. 95 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 3: Say, Babe, I love you, but I love you. You're 96 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 3: asking me to wear something that I don't. 97 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 4: Love, not me. 98 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to be honest. 99 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, I would do it all right, let's move 100 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 3: along to our questions and and here's our first one. Hi, 101 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:06,039 Speaker 3: Kathy and Susan. I'm currently four months pregnant with my 102 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 3: and my husband's first child, and I am so excited. 103 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 3: So far, congrats. So far everything has gone fairly smoothly 104 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 3: except for this. I have three I had three names 105 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 3: picked out for my future children for as long as 106 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 3: I can remember. I didn't really think this would be 107 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 3: something my husband would have a huge interest in, but 108 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 3: I was wrong. Now we both have our own favorite 109 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 3: names for our future child and no idea how to compromise. 110 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 3: There hasn't been anything malicious said to one another or 111 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:44,040 Speaker 3: even any stubbornness, but it's obvious that we both clearly 112 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 3: are excited about the names we've always loved and have 113 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,280 Speaker 3: no idea how to compromise. Any suggestions on finding a 114 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 3: middle ground here. 115 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: Ouch ouch, I know when I had mine. When I 116 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: had my twins second pregnancy, I had two names that 117 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: I wanted so bad, and he had a fit. 118 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 2: He had a fit. 119 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 1: So and with my firstborn, we liked two names, two 120 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: different names, and I said, let's just wait to see 121 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: what she looks like. So I kind of won that 122 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 1: doesn't she look like a Brittany. 123 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,599 Speaker 4: So I will tell you my first. 124 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 3: So, my first child, if if it was a boy, 125 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,479 Speaker 3: if it was going to be a girl, her name 126 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 3: was going to be Caitlin. 127 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 4: And back then, Caitlin, I'm telling you, feel goad. What's 128 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 4: the name? Caitlin was not a popular name. 129 00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 3: So I had a son, and my husband and I 130 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 3: agreed on the name Douglas, and my daughter didn't come 131 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:46,360 Speaker 3: to the third one. And by then, you know, Kitlyn's 132 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 3: were a diame a dozen. Uh, but she's still Caitlin. 133 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 3: My daughter when literally, when she had her child fourteen 134 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,799 Speaker 3: months ago, I asked them what names, and they wouldn't share. 135 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 3: And my daughter said they were struggling to come up 136 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 3: with a name they both liked. And she said they 137 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 3: each made lists and they crossed off names, you know, 138 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and tried to come up with a 139 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 3: shortened list and she was really getting tough. And when 140 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 3: they came out of the delivering room and told me 141 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,880 Speaker 3: the name of the baby, I swear, Susan, I thought 142 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 3: they were giving me the name of somebody else's child. 143 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 3: I'm not kidding, except I knew it was her child 144 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 3: because the middle name was my deceased name. Her name 145 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 3: is Teres. Darryl is her name, and I was like, Teres, 146 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 3: where did that come from? Turns out it's a family name. 147 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 3: There's been one girl in every generation and so once 148 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 3: they came upon that name. So my advice to would be, 149 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:46,200 Speaker 3: even though you've got favorite names that you like, why 150 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 3: don't you go back in your families and see if 151 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 3: there's a name, a family name that you guys can 152 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 3: come to an agreement on. 153 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 2: You know, want one suggestion, now it's really bad. 154 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: Put all the names in a hat, and when they're born, 155 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: you can pick each pick one and. 156 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: Look at the child. 157 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: And sometimes names are fitting when you look at somebody. 158 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 3: I don't you know, I've heard people say that when 159 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 3: I look at a baby, I see a bald cue ball, 160 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 3: usually crying with the white on a black air. Yeah, like, 161 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 3: I mean, oh, that looks like a Jason what? Oh 162 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 3: that looks like Louise what? I never get that. I've 163 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 3: never gotten that. 164 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 2: But yeah, that's a tough one. 165 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 4: Good luck with that. Congratulations, I'm being pregnant. 166 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 3: I would encourage you to look at family names if 167 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 3: you can't agree on either of your names. Or pick 168 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 3: one is the first name and one is a middle name. 169 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 3: Trust me, you've got bigger problems coming than what you 170 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 3: name this child. 171 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 4: Yes, teenage? Teenage? 172 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 1: Okay, moving right along, Hi, Kathy and Susan. I have 173 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: a question about how to deal with my mother. Growing up, 174 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:54,160 Speaker 1: my mom was what the kids call a an almond mom. 175 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: I've never saw her have proper eating habits and in 176 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: one way or another, so she always encouraged a lifestyle 177 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: of not eating a. 178 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 2: Lot at all. 179 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: I didn't really understand the impact of it on my 180 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,319 Speaker 1: life until around college. Now I have a six year 181 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: old daughter who is my entire world. Recently, at a 182 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: family party, my mom made a comment that brought me 183 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: back to all those little comments she said throughout my childhood. 184 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: Thankfully my daughter wasn't in earshot, but this was too 185 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: close to a call for me to forget about it. 186 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: How do I approach my mom about this? The hardest 187 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 1: part for me has always been that the comments aren't 188 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:41,360 Speaker 1: directed towards me. There are comments about herself that they 189 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: are said around other people, so it makes it hard 190 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: for me to confront her on it. I really don't 191 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: want my daughter to have the same experience I did 192 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 1: when it comes to body images, etc. So I really 193 00:09:55,559 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: need to take care of this asap, and the advice 194 00:09:58,559 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: would be so appreciative. 195 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 2: Thank you an almond mom. 196 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 3: In other words, your meal is having a handful of almonds, 197 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,720 Speaker 3: and I gotta tell you, I gotta tell you, yeah, 198 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 3: it's I have to tell you a lot of times 199 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:18,679 Speaker 3: I keep saying these questions are like did my kids. 200 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 4: Write this question? 201 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 3: I was, As everyone knows, I weighed two hundred pounds 202 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 3: at one time, and unwittingly I made comments and my 203 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 3: kids noticed, and eating disorder was a thing. And when 204 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:42,240 Speaker 3: I realized, I was appalled that I had done that 205 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:47,559 Speaker 3: because it certainly was not intentional. And now my granddaughters, 206 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 3: like my my fifteen month old granddaughter has oh my god, chubbiest. 207 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 2: Little fies them. 208 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 3: That's why, Yeah, you did, I love and I make 209 00:10:57,920 --> 00:10:59,880 Speaker 3: comments like, oh my gosh. She's got to keep those 210 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 3: like almost the opposite because I will never do that again. 211 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 3: I feel sorry for you because I don't think your 212 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,400 Speaker 3: mom does it intentionally. She probably has something like I 213 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 3: did in my childhood and in my own life that 214 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 3: made me, you know, eat and and and unwittingly send 215 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 3: it to my kids. 216 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 4: So I think you got to talk to her. 217 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 2: I think so too. 218 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: I think you should tell your mom what it did 219 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: to you as a kid. Maybe she doesn't even realize. 220 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 4: That you got to use the eyes tap share that. 221 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: Mom, this is how I felt, and I don't want 222 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: my child to experience that same feeling. 223 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,080 Speaker 4: But it's just that us. 224 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, and just remind her because you know, it's it's 225 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 3: it's it's not going to be easy for her to stop, 226 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,720 Speaker 3: and you just kind of have to remind her that's 227 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 3: what that's and and once she understands what it means 228 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 3: to you, because you know what body image. I don't know, Susan, 229 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 3: if your daughter had body image problems. But with the 230 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,920 Speaker 3: Internet and people, you know, all they see all the 231 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 3: air brushing magazines like reality. 232 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: Is not although larger figures and full figure bodies, they're 233 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: exposed in that and they're confident that is a welcome 234 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,480 Speaker 1: sign in this world, in this generation. 235 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 2: It is it is still goes back to I get it. 236 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's into be thin kind of thing. 237 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 3: I mean, kids starving themselves to look a certain way 238 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,680 Speaker 3: because they want to look like that model they saw, 239 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 3: you know, online, And. 240 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: Remember when Victoria's Secret only had the skinniest of skinny models, 241 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: and now they're showing full figure. I mean, the people 242 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: are getting it, but that problem still is. 243 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. 244 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 3: I think the fact that we are saying they're doing 245 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 3: full figured we don't say, oh, they have thin models. 246 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,000 Speaker 4: Here we go again. 247 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,839 Speaker 3: We have to define it as a full figure model 248 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 3: as opposed to oh they have new models model. Our 249 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 3: next model is you know, so I get it. I 250 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 3: there you Yeah, have the conversation with her. Okay, here's 251 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:18,000 Speaker 3: our next one. Okay, Hi, Kathy and Susan. By the way, 252 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 3: that last question, maybe want to get a snack? Okay, Hi, 253 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 3: Kathy and Susan. I'm writing to ask about a situation 254 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 3: going on with my best friend Leah. We have been 255 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 3: best friends for almost twelve years and have been by 256 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,280 Speaker 3: each other side for some of our biggest life experiences, 257 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 3: good and bad. 258 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,760 Speaker 4: She's currently engaged. 259 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 3: To a really amazing guy and is the happiest I've 260 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 3: ever seen her. However, in the past year she's really 261 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,600 Speaker 3: been struggling. She has something called pm d D. It's 262 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 3: basically a mental and physical condition that makes her PMS 263 00:13:55,520 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 3: really really terrible. In past years, her pm then undiagnosed 264 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 3: with something that I happily helped her through. She's always 265 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 3: been very responsible about managing it. It's come in ways 266 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 3: in terms of intensity, and in the past year it's 267 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 3: been the most intense I've ever seen it. The problem 268 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:20,120 Speaker 3: is that I've always been able to empathize because I'm 269 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 3: a woman. Her fiance on the other hand, can't understand 270 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,760 Speaker 3: this experience, so he's really lost when her PMDD gets 271 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 3: really bad. How can I help them get through this? 272 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 3: My boyfriend and I have a very close relationship to 273 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 3: her fiancee, and my best friend has a lot of 274 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 3: trust in me, so broaching the conversation won't be an issue. 275 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 3: I just don't know what advice to give him or 276 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,080 Speaker 3: how to get him to understand what happens to her 277 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 3: when she gets these really intense ways of depression or impatience. 278 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 3: When she's feeling good and normal during the better times 279 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 3: of her cycle, Leah has been really innicative and proactive 280 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 3: about the role of her PMDD in her relationship, but 281 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 3: I can tell when she's feeling really low, her fiance 282 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 3: feels lost and Leah struggles to communicate her needs. I'm 283 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 3: just worried about her and I hate to see her 284 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,040 Speaker 3: fiance get so down, which he's not feeling well. How 285 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 3: do I tackle this big conversation and how can I 286 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,600 Speaker 3: help them? 287 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 2: What a shame? 288 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 1: So my first thought, help him get educated on this PMDD. 289 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: Whether there's some paperwork or something you can share with 290 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 1: him and to get through that time. It's not the 291 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: whole month, right, it's just a I don't know. 292 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 3: I got to be honest, I've never I know what 293 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,280 Speaker 3: PMS is, sure, sure, but I've never heard of PMDD. 294 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 3: I'm guessing it is a more lengthy and more severe 295 00:15:53,640 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 3: press and anxiety. I wonder you know she's taken a 296 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 3: lot on here. I wonder if if if her friend 297 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 3: has gone to the doctor, if there's medication. 298 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: That's what I right, I want and educate yourself on it. 299 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: How do you There's so much information out there on 300 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,720 Speaker 1: how to deal with diseases or issues or. 301 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,880 Speaker 3: And and the reality is there, you know what, Susan, 302 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 3: there may be nothing that can be done for it 303 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 3: and and any and if he's going to marry her, 304 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 3: he's going to sign on for this person who changes 305 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,320 Speaker 3: behavior and turns in. 306 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,680 Speaker 4: It's hard, but. 307 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: But you she shared that they're both really good friends 308 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,160 Speaker 1: with him too, So sit down and work through some 309 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: kind of a strategy. When you see it coming on, 310 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 1: then you turn on this part, you know what I mean, 311 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,560 Speaker 1: that you can deal the ways to deal with it. 312 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,960 Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I think that's a great idea. 313 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 2: Pig job. 314 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, or maybe they agree that they have less communication, 315 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,680 Speaker 3: they you know, stay apart a little bit more. I 316 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:01,720 Speaker 3: mean it's it's it's like saying I have something that's 317 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,359 Speaker 3: not going away. He has to accept that this is 318 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 3: going to be a part of their relationship. 319 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,400 Speaker 4: I mean, it's just absolutely it's not going away. I'm 320 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 4: so sorry. 321 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: I hope being a good friend and just educate yourself 322 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:14,400 Speaker 1: and them the best that you can. 323 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, help him to learn because he ultimately, if he 324 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,879 Speaker 3: marries this woman is going to be dealing with it 325 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,160 Speaker 3: on a monthly basis. 326 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: I hope the wedding isn't doing that. Oh, she won't 327 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: even enjoy it. 328 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:28,240 Speaker 4: You know what I mean. 329 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,880 Speaker 2: If you're down, then you got at your wedding day. 330 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 4: How do you like? 331 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 2: I mean, okay, thank you, all. 332 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: Right, only you would think of that plan your wedding carefully, 333 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,160 Speaker 3: says the wedding efficient. 334 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 4: Thank you, Susan. 335 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,520 Speaker 2: I cat the in Susan. My question is about love languages. 336 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know what? Can I just say? 337 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 3: I'm letting you answer this question because I don't get it. 338 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 4: All right, go Mike. 339 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: I'm currently about two months into dating someone. We have 340 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,960 Speaker 1: similar interests, have a great time on day, and are 341 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: very attractive to each other. The only thing I'm noticing 342 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,400 Speaker 1: right now that might be a red flag is actually 343 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: our love languages. I've never really paid attention to love 344 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: language before, but I literally couldn't help but notice this 345 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: time around. I'm a big cuddle bug. I love hugs. 346 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 1: I think this is me righting this. I love giving kisses, 347 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: holding hands, you name it. I've dated people in the 348 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: past that don't like PDA and have come to learn 349 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 1: that PDA is something I can definitely compromise on. However, 350 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 1: this guy doesn't have an issue with PDA. He just 351 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 1: can't stand being touched. He still gives me a hug 352 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: when he sees me, he will kiss me, etc. So 353 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: it's not incredibly extreme. But when we're watching TV together 354 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:55,239 Speaker 1: or just hanging out, he constantly needs his space. Do 355 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: you think this is something we can or even should 356 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: compromise on? Since so early on to us dating. I 357 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 1: really want to make a smart decision about this. When 358 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: I think about breaking it off over this, I feel silly, 359 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,720 Speaker 1: But going without physical touch has made me realize how 360 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: much I really appreciate it when I am dating someone. 361 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 1: I also haven't brought this up yet, only because I'm 362 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: not sure how to, so that advice would be awesome 363 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:26,360 Speaker 1: as well. 364 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,880 Speaker 2: Thanks so much. I love you both and do love 365 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 2: your podcast. I can relate to her. It's my favorite 366 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:40,080 Speaker 2: sea word, cath communication. 367 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:44,520 Speaker 1: Absolutely, And he's not going to be able to give 368 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:49,399 Speaker 1: you all of that. But if he understands that you 369 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 1: really feel a certain way when you don't get it 370 00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,680 Speaker 1: like you got to compromise a little too. 371 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 2: You can't hand all over the door in the. 372 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:01,600 Speaker 1: Movie, but he might hold your hand for a in it. 373 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,719 Speaker 3: First of all, for any of you people who've been 374 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,160 Speaker 3: living under a rock for the last twenty years, PDA 375 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,120 Speaker 3: stands for public displays of affection, So. 376 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 4: Let's start there. 377 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 3: Well, says he that, yeah, in the first line, do 378 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 3: you think she's putting the cart before the horse? Here? 379 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 4: They've been dating two months. 380 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,840 Speaker 3: Two months. He might not even be sure he wants 381 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:32,560 Speaker 3: to see her next week, but she's worried about you 382 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 3: know what, you know what she should do. 383 00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 4: She should turn on the movie. He's just not that 384 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 4: into you. 385 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm no, in all honesty, I don't 386 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:46,680 Speaker 3: know if the guy needs his space and he's guy 387 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 3: and he's not your guy. He's not your guy. Listen, 388 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:55,480 Speaker 3: learn early on you cannot remake a man. You cannot 389 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 3: make him into something you want. You can try real 390 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 3: hard and yourself. Can you live with this? 391 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 4: That's right? 392 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,280 Speaker 3: And if if you give a month six he still 393 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 3: is like on the opposite and the you know, sofa 394 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 3: with his hand in the popcorn and drinking a beer 395 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,120 Speaker 3: in the other hand and looks at you like, how'd 396 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 3: you get into my house? 397 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 4: He's probably not your guy. So you've got to give 398 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 4: it some. 399 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,439 Speaker 3: Time and see if things change, and see if it 400 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 3: matures into a relationship. But ultimately, if he doesn't give 401 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 3: you what you want and need, you need to the 402 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:34,679 Speaker 3: love language I'm giving you is move along, you know. 403 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: I thank all of yes, I do, and I want 404 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: to thank every single one that wrote into us. 405 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 2: And you guys are the best. 406 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 4: And we love that you our podcast. 407 00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:44,159 Speaker 3: I know. 408 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: And if you have a question, you already know the drill. 409 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:52,080 Speaker 1: Just send it to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. 410 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 3: And keep them coming because we really do enjoy And 411 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 3: you know what, if you have a question, I guarantee 412 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,320 Speaker 3: you there's somebody else out there who's has the same question, 413 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:11,360 Speaker 3: and we'll appreciate the answer. Before we wrap things up, Susan, 414 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,360 Speaker 3: we are going to play a really quick game of 415 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 3: moral quandary. And because I love this game so much 416 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 3: and love teaching Susan what it means to play moral quandary, 417 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,360 Speaker 3: which means she has to tell me what I would do, 418 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 3: and I tell her what she would do. 419 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,879 Speaker 4: She can't. She's struggling with that, but we're going to 420 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 4: give it our all. 421 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,360 Speaker 1: You guys listening out there right and tell me how 422 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,120 Speaker 1: many of you when you hear this question, don't think 423 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: immediately what you how you would react. 424 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 2: Just tell me I'm normal. 425 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 3: You are, oh, Susan, your your apple pie normal. The 426 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 3: issue is not what you think of as the answer. 427 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 3: The issue is what comes out of your mouth. You 428 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 3: need to zip it and only answer what I would do. 429 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,239 Speaker 4: All right, go ahead, here we go. 430 00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,959 Speaker 3: Your best friend's brother that you've always had a crush 431 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 3: on expresses interest in you. But you know your best 432 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,160 Speaker 3: friend would be really weirded out by you dating her brother. 433 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 3: Do you try to talk to her about it? Or 434 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,000 Speaker 3: decide there are other fish in the sea that won't 435 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 3: disrupt your friendship. Susan, without a doubt, would be talking 436 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 3: to that girl. And if that girl said, hell, no, 437 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,000 Speaker 3: you're not dating my brother, she'd say watch. 438 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 2: Me sorry, But I am Yeah. 439 00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 4: What would I do? 440 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: I mean, if you had a crush on the guy, 441 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 1: you would date it. I mean, yes, I think you 442 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 1: would do it. Anyhow would I talk? Would I talk 443 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 1: to her or would I just date the guy? I 444 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,400 Speaker 1: think you would start by dating the guy and then 445 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 1: when she says something you would address it. 446 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,520 Speaker 4: You're half right. I would either do that. 447 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 2: Do you hear that? Ladies and gentlemen are getting better at. 448 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 4: You know what? Stick around? 449 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,080 Speaker 3: Listen to this podcast another ten years, she's gonna have 450 00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,400 Speaker 3: a downce like Silk. I still want to quit the game, 451 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:06,160 Speaker 3: but I love Carl Quandry. It's like, doesn't it make 452 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:09,200 Speaker 3: you feel better? Like we know what we would do? No? 453 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,320 Speaker 4: No, I struggle with this, but I honestly you're right. 454 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 4: I would. 455 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 3: I don't if I really liked him, and I wanted 456 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 3: to date him, and I knew. 457 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:24,200 Speaker 4: The sister, that best friend the sister. Oh right, I'm right, 458 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 4: that's right, that's so. Yeah. 459 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 3: I'm going to date the guy once, and if I 460 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 3: think I want to go out with him, I'm going 461 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,280 Speaker 3: to say, hey, Susan. 462 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 4: I really like your brother brother. You know. I know 463 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 4: it's gonna be weird, but you'll get over it. 464 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 2: But I would not stop in agreement. 465 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, next one, your boyfriend is really great to you, 466 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 1: but can never seem to get it right when it 467 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,880 Speaker 1: comes to presence. He's always getting you silver jewelry when 468 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:55,000 Speaker 1: you've only ever worn gold, tickets to events you've never 469 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: been interested in doing, and clothes that are clearly not 470 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,439 Speaker 1: your style. Is break up worthy? Do you try to 471 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 1: talk to him about it? Or do you keep it 472 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: to yourself? All right, I gotta think what Kathy would do. 473 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,719 Speaker 1: I feel like we might be on the same page 474 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:18,760 Speaker 1: with this. Okay, well, I think in the beginning, ye're 475 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Speaker 1: just gonna accept and then just really share like this 476 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: isn't my style. I was married to the guy that 477 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:27,480 Speaker 1: on Christmas. 478 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 4: Wait a minute, or you're telling me I did it again? 479 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 4: Oh Lord? The people please, could someone write fired? 480 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,240 Speaker 3: Could I have explained the rules of this game? 481 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 4: I don't know ten fifteen times. 482 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,919 Speaker 3: I mean, seriously, I'm gonna go out and catch a 483 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,320 Speaker 3: bus and get a drink at the local bar. When 484 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,600 Speaker 3: you can figure out this game, Susan, call me and 485 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:52,920 Speaker 3: we'll continue this episode. 486 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 2: All right, Kathy, what would I do? What would you do? 487 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 4: What would you know? It's not what I would do? 488 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,439 Speaker 2: What would you do? I'm supposed to say what you do? 489 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,439 Speaker 4: Oh, now she's learning. Okay, what would I do? 490 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 2: I said that first, and then I went right into hell. 491 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,000 Speaker 3: I I would You're absolutely right, and you are right. 492 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 3: We would do it together. I would take it initially. 493 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,640 Speaker 3: In fact, my husband, I gotta be honest, My husband 494 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,480 Speaker 3: grew up in upstate New York, where I was about 495 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 3: to say something horrible. All right, I'm going to say 496 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,360 Speaker 3: it anyway, where sheep are sheep and men are afraid. 497 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,199 Speaker 3: I mean, he grew up in the sticks. I know 498 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 3: he said that. Actually, my husband said that to me. 499 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 3: I was kind of afraid to go to his hometown. 500 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 3: But seriously, he grew up and so, you know, let's 501 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,480 Speaker 3: just say fashion was not number one on their list. 502 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 3: And so when he first bought me presents, it was. 503 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 4: Like, oh boy. 504 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,560 Speaker 3: I mean not that I had great taste, but I 505 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 3: grew up outside of Boston. I shopped in the city. 506 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,119 Speaker 3: You know, I was a little bit different, and so 507 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:54,439 Speaker 3: in the beginning I said, thank you so much, but 508 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 3: let me tell you over time. And it took me, oh, 509 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:02,239 Speaker 3: thirty seconds, I said, Darling, I love your pieces. And 510 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 3: you know what he did. He learned to buy jewelry. 511 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 3: You've seen my jewelry, my husband. Yeah, it wasn't. Celebrating 512 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 3: was so bad. 513 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,000 Speaker 2: Every Christmas, my kid's got in, Bob's a dad. 514 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 3: Real. 515 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:17,120 Speaker 2: Do you not know? Mom? 516 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 1: I nailed it. I will go buy my presents. 517 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:22,639 Speaker 4: Oh you're kidding me. 518 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 2: You would have buy that what I liked and the 519 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,479 Speaker 2: and wrapped them. It sucked. 520 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 4: Wait a minute, Susan. 521 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,960 Speaker 3: That is as bad as unwrapping guests before Christmas and 522 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,080 Speaker 3: pro feigning surprise when you open them. 523 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:39,880 Speaker 2: You no surprises, picked out your own presence. Yeah. 524 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,560 Speaker 3: I want to cry for you, I know. So the 525 00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 3: next guy, please get it. I'm going to surprise you 526 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,760 Speaker 3: this year with a really great present. The rules of 527 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 3: moral quandary, I'm going to I'm going to Chile them. 528 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 3: I'm going to chisel them in a towel. 529 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 1: Your next one you have to read now, because god, 530 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,720 Speaker 1: there's still three of them. 531 00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 4: Where are we lost? 532 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 2: Your mother in law always? 533 00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 4: Oh, always, my mother in law? Oh god? All right, 534 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:05,120 Speaker 4: here we go? 535 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,560 Speaker 3: Okay, oh my god? Wait, can we break the rules? 536 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,880 Speaker 3: Can I answer this? Because this was my mother in law? 537 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:11,360 Speaker 1: Now? 538 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 3: Your mother in law always makes little jabs at you 539 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 3: whenever you're around my mother, my mother law stab me. 540 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 4: Okay. 541 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,200 Speaker 3: One day, during a family party, after a few classes 542 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,680 Speaker 3: of wine, in a joking tone, you ask her why 543 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 3: she's always so bitchy? Yep, I did that too. Your 544 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,360 Speaker 3: mother in law takes major offense yep. And your husband 545 00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,960 Speaker 3: asked you to apologize. Nope, because you went a little far. 546 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 3: How do you proceed? Do you apologize or push back? 547 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:38,400 Speaker 3: What would I do? 548 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 2: I know your story, so I know what you would do. 549 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,200 Speaker 4: What I do? 550 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 2: Would you apologize? 551 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 4: You would never, damn right. 552 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,160 Speaker 2: You'd be pushing right on back and you. 553 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 4: Would apologize profusely. I love here. 554 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:58,200 Speaker 1: No, I wouldn't read it again after a few glasses 555 00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 1: of wine. 556 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,080 Speaker 4: Well, you would ask you why she's so catching? 557 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: You ask her why are you always so bitchy. But 558 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 1: mother in law takes a major offense. 559 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 3: And your husband asked you to your husband asks you 560 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:12,520 Speaker 3: to apologize. 561 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 1: Well, it wouldn't be a sincere one. I'd be going, 562 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: like my seriously, all right, I'm sorry, but you are bitchy. 563 00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, an apology if the word but is in 564 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,800 Speaker 3: an apology, it's not apologizing my point. I mean my 565 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 3: my mother in law. It actually wasn't my mother was 566 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 3: my father in law? 567 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 4: All right? Carry on? 568 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 1: You got your boyfriend tickets to a concert that you 569 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,760 Speaker 1: both have been dying to go to. When he opens 570 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 1: the cards card and sees his gift, he is so 571 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: excited and thanks you profusely. He then says, Kathy, it's 572 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,160 Speaker 1: going to freak out when I tell her we're going. 573 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 2: It's going to freak out when I tell him we are. 574 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 3: In other words, his friend, Oh my god, did you 575 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 3: tell him the tickets were intended for you two? 576 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 2: Or did you let him go? 577 00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,400 Speaker 4: Okay, Susan, what what would I do? Well? 578 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 3: I know what you would do? What what would what 579 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 3: you would do? Yeah, babe, you and I are going 580 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 3: to that. John is going to be sitting home watching 581 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 3: it on the closed circuit TV. At the bar am 582 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:21,840 Speaker 3: I right. 583 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,200 Speaker 2: Not like that. But I'd be like, wait, what these 584 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,360 Speaker 2: are for us? 585 00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:28,240 Speaker 4: Yeah? 586 00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,280 Speaker 2: See, you would do the same. You would let him 587 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,320 Speaker 2: go hell somebody else? 588 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 3: Now, Hell, that's a dumb one. See I hate this 589 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 3: game all right. On your way out the door to work, 590 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 3: you realize you left your keys. I've done it many times. 591 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 3: When you walk back inside, you overhear your boyfriend on 592 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,479 Speaker 3: the phone with a female friend of his that you 593 00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 3: really don't like. You realize they're making plans to hang 594 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 3: out this weekend and tells his friend that I'll talk 595 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 3: to you about them later so you both can make it. 596 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 3: Do you come up with plants so you're unavailable? Do 597 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 3: you try to make it so you're both unavailable? Or 598 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 3: do you grin and barrett and go with him despite 599 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 3: really not liking this girl? 600 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 4: Well, for us, it's got to be a guy. 601 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,280 Speaker 3: What do I think you would address it with him 602 00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:17,760 Speaker 3: and say I don't want to go? 603 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 4: You'd go I go? Really? See? 604 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 3: Can I just tell you this question had me at 605 00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:29,640 Speaker 3: I forgot my keys and I come back in and 606 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 3: he's on the phone. Oh there's more going on there, 607 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 3: that's it? 608 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 4: Look at it? 609 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course you didn't, but I did. It's just 610 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,440 Speaker 3: a trusting soul. I Oh, I am too, but not 611 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 3: that you left your I told you. I know, but 612 00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 3: I I Your boyfriend's on the phone with a female 613 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 3: friend of his. 614 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,600 Speaker 4: Why Why did he wait to get on the phone 615 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 4: you know when you When did she call him? Did 616 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,120 Speaker 4: he call her? Why? You know he does he know 617 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:00,920 Speaker 4: you don't like her? 618 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 3: I mean, there's so many questions here, But at the 619 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,360 Speaker 3: end of the day, I'm going to say, you know what, 620 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 3: I don't really want to go out with her. If 621 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,320 Speaker 3: we want to go out together and invite another couple, 622 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 3: I'm going to come up with a different solution. 623 00:32:15,280 --> 00:32:19,720 Speaker 4: I am. And you're really going you're going to grin 624 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 4: and barras. 625 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 2: Mean, yeah, I guess I would. 626 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,080 Speaker 4: God, we know. 627 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,560 Speaker 3: Okay, all you guys who want to cheat, give Susan 628 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 3: a call. She's a cheap date. 629 00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 4: Yeah. 630 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 2: I don't like the game. 631 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: Why because I can never think how wonder somebody else 632 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 1: is going to how they're going to react. 633 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 3: If you don't know, it's a quandary. Quandary means you're wondering, 634 00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:48,240 Speaker 3: you're thinking about it. You don't know, but it's just 635 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 3: thinking about it. Rule it by the way, rule of 636 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,040 Speaker 3: thumb there is do not leave your keys in the house, 637 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,040 Speaker 3: and then you don't have to know whether he's on 638 00:32:56,080 --> 00:33:01,000 Speaker 3: the phone. You know this stuff really happened, Susan, it does. Well, 639 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:06,560 Speaker 3: that does it for this episode of Bachelor Happy Hour. 640 00:33:07,120 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 2: It sure does. It's actually much for joining us. 641 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:16,440 Speaker 3: It's actually wait, Susan, it's actually Golden Hour. It's Golden 642 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 3: Happy Hour. 643 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 1: Right, hey, that does it for this episode of Golden Hour. 644 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: Thank you again, guys for joining us and bearing with 645 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: our humor. And I want to know how everybody else 646 00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,479 Speaker 1: can guess their best friend's answer. 647 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,440 Speaker 4: Yes, please join in and play moral quandary with us. 648 00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 3: Be sure to submit your questions to us at bachelornation 649 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 3: dot com slash Golden Hour. We honestly really feel like 650 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,520 Speaker 3: we connect with each and every one of you by 651 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:48,239 Speaker 3: your letters and your comments, so please please continue doing that. 652 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 3: And we love hearing what's on your mind, and we 653 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 3: really love giving advice to so keep them coming, whether it's. 654 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 1: Good advice or maybe we still give it. That's right, 655 00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 1: and just listen to Bachelor Happy Hours go an Hour 656 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio app for wherever you listen to your podcast. 657 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 2: Thanks again for joining us, See you next time.