Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaiser Podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser, here's Nikki.
Speaker 1: Hello, here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky
Speaker 1: Glazer Podcast. Same group as yesterday's show. We got Brian
Speaker 1: Frangie Hello, we got Sean O'Connor.
Speaker 3: Wearing clothes, we got.
Speaker 1: Noah in Arizona, and we got my mother, Julie Glazer.
Speaker 4: Thank you, Nikki.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for being speaking of clothes.
Speaker 2: So we didn't really talk too much about like the
Speaker 2: details of the parties yesterday. But I want to know
Speaker 2: how Julie felt getting glam She was all glammed up.
Speaker 1: I know, I got her hair and makeup done by
Speaker 1: Ayah who got that necklace from Richard Simmons.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she did a great job, she really did. I
Speaker 4: actually I'm not used to getting glammed, so I was
Speaker 4: kind of looking in the mirror going, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she freaked out at first because we didn't have
Speaker 1: We don't have mirrors right in front of us, which
Speaker 1: were used to having when you're getting your lamb dune,
Speaker 1: so you can kind of slowly see your face turn
Speaker 1: into the face you don't recognize because it's so much
Speaker 1: hotter than your normal face. And she also did your
Speaker 1: makeup in a different way because you've just been winging
Speaker 1: it for fifty fifty makeup. Yeah, you don't at all
Speaker 1: still at this age, even though you wear it all
Speaker 1: the time. So so you did get a lesson for sure.
Speaker 1: The way we do our eyebrows, see whatever, I don't
Speaker 1: do a lot. And so she gave my mom eyebrows,
Speaker 1: and eyebrows change your face so much. And I think
Speaker 1: my mom was just like shocked at first. It often happens.
Speaker 4: She didn't give me dark enough eyebrows.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, but they went too far down the side,
Speaker 1: drew them down the sides, and you didn't like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean it was a lot for my face.
Speaker 4: And then my hair was like glued to my head, yes,
Speaker 4: which I don't normally.
Speaker 1: But that's why I kept telling you, like, that's why
Speaker 1: I gave you Leah because she is. It's really nice
Speaker 1: to have a make hair and makeup person that or
Speaker 1: anyone that doesn't take it personally. When you tell them
Speaker 1: she was you don't like kind can we do? And
Speaker 1: she's like, oh yeah, and she show it to you
Speaker 1: straight up, like we can't do that, We can't fix that.
Speaker 1: You don't have any hair.
Speaker 4: No, No, she didn't know.
Speaker 1: She's very nice, but I think you looked so awesome
Speaker 1: and I made my outfit. She yeah, my mom made
Speaker 1: her outfit. So the night of the DNC, during like
Speaker 1: the big night of the DNC, we were watching on
Speaker 1: the couch and I got a text from my mom
Speaker 1: right after Michelle Obama's speech that was like, I'm making
Speaker 1: that outfit.
Speaker 4: What do you think?
Speaker 1: She loved it so much that she was like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make it, and we didn't. You weren't even planning
Speaker 1: to go to the Emmys at that point. You were
Speaker 1: just making it for your life.
Speaker 4: No, I just wanted to make it, and then you
Speaker 4: gave me this opportunity to like wear it, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm making.
Speaker 1: It and I don't know this is how did you
Speaker 1: make it? So?
Speaker 4: Anyway, what it is?
Speaker 1: Bestie's pull up? Michelle Obama.
Speaker 4: It's made by this company, these designers months M O
Speaker 4: N S. And they're just really cool designers. I looked
Speaker 4: it up and I'm like, wow, I love their statement.
Speaker 4: It's to kind of taking a man's suit and taking
Speaker 4: it apart and just kind of feminizing it.
Speaker 1: Deconstructing, deconstructing it a men's like men's.
Speaker 4: Blazer suit suit, an actual suit.
Speaker 1: And what and then there's the belt.
Speaker 4: I made the bell. Yeah, it was like a vest suit.
Speaker 4: That was like, oh, it was really cool. It was
Speaker 4: actually that a jacket. I took the sleeves off and
Speaker 4: then made a bell.
Speaker 1: You kept saying that Dad would be commenting on She's
Speaker 1: worked probably sixty hours on that.
Speaker 4: Ye, well, I was taking time away from him. It's like, well,
Speaker 4: you're like thirty hours into that, and I'm like, that's
Speaker 4: not true.
Speaker 1: You play guitar like hour, have a project. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: he didn't like Dad's time.
Speaker 4: No, you're not. You're messing up, thankress. Yeah, my meals
Speaker 4: aren't on the table at the right time. Democracy. Oh
Speaker 4: it was fun. I had fun making it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looked great.
Speaker 4: It was so so suiting.
Speaker 3: Point.
Speaker 5: I feel like if Michelle Obama saw it, like you
Speaker 5: just become her new design.
Speaker 4: I was hoping she was going to be here.
Speaker 1: You also, Dad reminded me last week that you saw
Speaker 1: j Lo's dressed to the Oscars in nineteen ninety nine
Speaker 1: or two thousand and you recreated that because my parents
Speaker 1: used to get invited to the can film That's still
Speaker 1: well for I think in two thousand and two thousand
Speaker 1: and one.
Speaker 4: Three years in a row.
Speaker 1: Okay, I remember one year. I was in ninety nine, two.
Speaker 6: Thousand purpose cause of the invite.
Speaker 4: Well, my husband, Nikki's father worked in the cable business
Speaker 4: and it was a gift.
Speaker 1: Dear friend of him.
Speaker 4: Bravo used to take.
Speaker 1: They go a ways to take. We don't talk about that,
Speaker 1: so we say her story. But my dad and Harvey
Speaker 1: Weinstein used to be all chums. No, I think when
Speaker 1: I think of can early two thousands, I think of
Speaker 1: rape Harvey Weinstein story.
Speaker 4: Well, I think of that too. I think that's probably they.
Speaker 5: You did not want to be a missus my god?
Speaker 1: No, were you going to see major star or the
Speaker 1: most famous young actress.
Speaker 3: That seems to me.
Speaker 1: No one's helped to get ahead if you don't want
Speaker 1: either anyway.
Speaker 6: The other guy, the Italian guy who also from that era.
Speaker 1: Oh used the guy the director, Yeah, oh god, you
Speaker 1: know this the director that's been a yeah yeah, Paulanski. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: issues with him too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but his issues. Yes, his wife died.
Speaker 4: A good one.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 1: Someone was just talking about how oh I was on
Speaker 1: Bill Maher's podcast again and he was talking about how
Speaker 1: Charlie Chaplin was like famous for me marrying children like
Speaker 1: famously went after like twelve year olds, and I go, Bill,
Speaker 1: I haven't heard. Like I'm pretty well aware of cultural
Speaker 1: moments like that where it's like broken open, like this
Speaker 1: isn't who we thought it was. How did I miss
Speaker 1: that one? That one's still buried?
Speaker 3: Yes? Oh my god, Like I assume.
Speaker 1: You know about it because you are.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, I'm like, that is like one of my
Speaker 5: only obsessions is like old comment Yes, kind of mine.
Speaker 1: I'm fascinated, but I'm like, what the fuck these weirdos?
Speaker 1: So yeah, Charlie Chaplin, I haven't gotten into it. I
Speaker 1: just was anecdotal from Bill over the Weekend, but I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe it.
Speaker 4: Did you know that?
Speaker 6: No, no one talks about it.
Speaker 4: Did you know that?
Speaker 7: Man?
Speaker 4: Well, I think I heard it. Didn't even marry someone
Speaker 4: very yet?
Speaker 5: Well yeah, his last his last wife, I think Una
Speaker 5: Chaplain or Una O'Neill was g O'Neill's.
Speaker 3: Daughter and thirty seven, right, he met her when she
Speaker 3: was like eleven. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Disgusting, Yeah, disgusting.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they gloss over that, dude.
Speaker 1: I just that's so crazy.
Speaker 4: I met your father when I was four.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say that, but I didn't want to
Speaker 1: open up old.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but dad very innocent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because my dad was best friends with her older brother.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah that part he was thirty. But
Speaker 1: how old are much older is dad that he's four
Speaker 1: and a half years Oh yeah, so he wash? Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm older than Alley by like five years.
Speaker 1: Do you ever notice the age got there?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 6: No, because she she's a by far youngest sibling and
Speaker 6: a three sibling where she had two much older siblings,
Speaker 6: so she's all in everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, she is, Like, that'll do it.
Speaker 6: She's best friends with your older brother. Yeah, and her
Speaker 6: and her older sister and they would just hang and
Speaker 6: talk about smash mouth or whatever the fuck.
Speaker 3: Yes, popular to the.
Speaker 1: Older generation, that's a really good point. How would say
Speaker 1: yeah for you and Aaron, she's a year older.
Speaker 5: I've never dated somebody who was younger than me. Interesting,
Speaker 5: Actually that's not true. I did date this girl who
Speaker 5: was a year younger than me, and when she broke
Speaker 5: up with me, she told me the reason why she
Speaker 5: was breaking up with me is I was too young
Speaker 5: for her.
Speaker 1: That's a good point, like and do you think you're
Speaker 1: attracted like women who were, but like you're older? Is
Speaker 1: your age?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know, but we're constantly just mocking her for
Speaker 5: being a year older like my son and I.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like we're ageist in our house.
Speaker 1: I do like I do like that Chris is older
Speaker 1: than me, Like it does feel like okay, like there's
Speaker 1: something to it, like just knowing you have more life
Speaker 1: than someone else.
Speaker 4: Same age until it's birthday.
Speaker 1: But I do feel cool because I'm always like I'm
Speaker 1: a sophomore dating a senior. I like put it back
Speaker 1: to that, and then suddenly I'm the coolest girl. Like
Speaker 1: he was a cool guy senior too, Like my god,
Speaker 1: I was a dorky sophomore and I got the cool
Speaker 1: guy senior.
Speaker 3: I mean he's still like a cool guy senior. He
Speaker 3: is like this is so cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, he's in the F one he knows a
Speaker 1: lot about Yeah, he is a cool guy. But so, yeah,
Speaker 1: your look was awesome. Did you have fun at the parties?
Speaker 4: It's so much fun.
Speaker 1: What were some highlights?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 4: I guess I was.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 4: First of all, I got to eat caviar.
Speaker 1: They do it. And you're right when you say yeah,
Speaker 1: you lick on your hand. Yeah, they put it on.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's become very popular in La of doing caviar bumps
Speaker 5: because I think everyone God car out growing cocaine, so now.
Speaker 4: The decadent thing that I guess that makes sense. It
Speaker 4: was delicious, it was really good caviar. I love caviar.
Speaker 4: But the other thing was that no napkins. It's like
Speaker 4: I just licked my hand and my face both bumps.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Your hand
Speaker 6: and they put fish eggs on it. Yeah, because of cocaine.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I mean it's supposed to be like this.
Speaker 3: I know. That's why we listen. The child sex room
Speaker 3: was it was empty. It was empty, Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was tucked away, good vibe in there though it
Speaker 1: was empty. It was just the karaoke room was empty.
Speaker 1: When I discovered it, my mom and I went on
Speaker 1: like So we were at the sand Fin Sunday Bungalows,
Speaker 1: which is actually Carlile Forster who has been on the
Speaker 1: show before Whose Girls Chat good friend. She works there,
Speaker 1: and she was like, I got your table tonight and
Speaker 1: she's like, it's gonna be so fun and you're sitting
Speaker 1: next to Conan and you're sitting next to all the
Speaker 1: Comedians's gonna be a great time. And we got there
Speaker 1: late because we went to Netflix first, because there's one
Speaker 1: reason to jump around to. Yeah, this was HBO. And
Speaker 1: then we got there and we sat down. It was
Speaker 1: really fun. We had she brought us over at tray
Speaker 1: of like all like these delicious food, good vibe. It's
Speaker 1: like kind of like a gardeny type hang situations from
Speaker 1: smaller party. Other parties are like big almost warehouses or
Speaker 1: sound stages that have a DJ and everyone's walking around
Speaker 1: this big space. So this is like low ceilings.
Speaker 4: In timate, like like a courtyard courtyard.
Speaker 1: Yes, pale in Yeah. And we sat at the table
Speaker 1: for a minute. Any highlights, yeah, John, oh yeah, Oh
Speaker 1: that was nice, Like was a Oliver Oliver Okay, sorry
Speaker 1: I had mind slipt there.
Speaker 4: No, it was so cute. We're just standing there talking
Speaker 4: and I saw him look over here and I'm like,
Speaker 4: he's coming over here, he's coming he's dragging his wife
Speaker 4: or I mean, he went through bushes to get over
Speaker 4: to Nikki and he said, I just.
Speaker 1: Wanted to I just turned around because Chris taps me
Speaker 1: is like hey, like, and I thought he's just gonna
Speaker 1: show me something, introduce me to someone. I just turned it.
Speaker 1: John Oliver right next to me. He's like, I just
Speaker 1: want to say, you know, great job, and it's great
Speaker 1: to see you like so nighe Oh my god, congratulations.
Speaker 1: I loved your speech. And his wife, I was like,
Speaker 1: I was obsessed with his I was hearing at his
Speaker 1: wife during the show, being like she's the prettiest girl ever.
Speaker 1: So I got to tell her like I was like,
Speaker 1: obsessed with how gorgeous you look. I'm sure you have
Speaker 1: more to offer the world, but like that's all I
Speaker 1: saw when they were cutting to.
Speaker 7: You and and the Iraq war veteran that's right.
Speaker 3: Yeah met her when she was a medic. Which side,
Speaker 3: Ye tell.
Speaker 1: Me what they met because it's an interesting story.
Speaker 5: It's like filming something for the Daily for the Daily Show,
Speaker 5: and then they were getting in trouble so she hid
Speaker 5: them like I love my general or something.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know how the army works.
Speaker 1: Is that brogan on type movie?
Speaker 4: Yeah, great story.
Speaker 6: That was a great speech though. That was funny and touching.
Speaker 1: And he talked about his dog. Yeah, who just recently passed.
Speaker 6: And brought it out to all dogs and he said.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to shout out to all dogs. You
Speaker 1: are good girls, you are good boys. Good night, we
Speaker 1: love you. It was just a.
Speaker 4: Fan has big time, but super fan. Now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was so nice of him because he did.
Speaker 1: He had way more important people to talk to at
Speaker 1: that party, and we have only met. I think I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think of maybe once since he did a
Speaker 1: thing with Nicky and Sarah live on MTV where we were.
Speaker 1: He was the show, his show had just come out.
Speaker 1: I think they were actually just writing it, and we
Speaker 1: drove to his studio. We did this bit where we
Speaker 1: were before me too, but we were like, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to touch as many celebrities as possible, like and
Speaker 1: we were. It was without them.
Speaker 3: Notice that.
Speaker 1: This was my random I was uncomfortable with it the
Speaker 1: whole time. But we never were sexually touching people. But
Speaker 1: I would I would not, We would not do this bit.
Speaker 1: Now anyway, we're doing a bit we were trying to
Speaker 1: We're running around town trying to get and and John.
Speaker 6: You had a little mustache and a bowler hat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and so you know we're on a budget
Speaker 1: for that War Drone Department, and they had also done
Speaker 1: Band of Brothers, so is that the right worm. So anyway,
Speaker 1: we had him like act like he was hailing a
Speaker 1: taxi outside of his office, and then we ran up
Speaker 1: to like, you know, like it was like us pretending
Speaker 1: to go on this quest to get as many famous people.
Speaker 1: But he did that, and I remember thinking, like, it's
Speaker 1: so cool that he just did this dumb moment with
Speaker 1: two comedian girls. He's never heard of for sure at
Speaker 1: this point, and he's tirelessly working on this thing and
Speaker 1: he just did this thing like that he easily could
Speaker 1: have said no to and no one would have cared
Speaker 1: at all, and it would have been easy. It was
Speaker 1: just so nice. And I think that was like the
Speaker 1: last time I talked to him, but that was really nice.
Speaker 4: He couldn't wait. I could see h.
Speaker 7: Zip yat I'm like a I had like a hawk
Speaker 7: guy at those parties for famous people, and I saw
Speaker 7: him and he's like he's walking this way.
Speaker 1: He was so exciting.
Speaker 3: That was so nice.
Speaker 6: He's been a fan for a long time because I
Speaker 6: remember one point during Not Safe, like it was brought
Speaker 6: up that John Oliver was a fan of the show.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. See, I like black these blackout these moments. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's too much for me, and I feel like they
Speaker 1: actually don't support my story that I tell myself that
Speaker 1: I'm a fraud, and so I think I eliminate them
Speaker 1: from my memory in a way to preserve the story
Speaker 1: I'm telling myself about myself. Sure, I guess it's the
Speaker 1: because I always forget when people have said nice things,
Speaker 1: almost always. Yeah, it does not stick in my head.
Speaker 1: People have to remind me remember this. That's why I
Speaker 1: said I don't remember if I've met him since, because
Speaker 1: if I did, he was probably nice, and I would
Speaker 1: probably just put it away because it's too much. Like
Speaker 1: when I met Larry David for the second time and
Speaker 1: said nice to meet you, and he says, we've met before,
Speaker 1: and I didn't remember meeting him the first time because.
Speaker 4: He remembered, yes, what I didn't remember.
Speaker 1: Of course I remembered it as soon as he said it,
Speaker 1: but like I had blocked it out because it's too
Speaker 1: much to have met.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's kind of just crazy to be a fan
Speaker 5: for your whole life and then somebody know who you
Speaker 5: are are.
Speaker 6: Yeah, wow, that is crazy.
Speaker 1: Well, I just have to say, like, I have a
Speaker 1: treatise I guess to give about forgetting things. Okay, if
Speaker 1: you forget someone's name or you can't remember a face,
Speaker 1: no matter who it is, it's not your fault. No
Speaker 1: one chooses to forget things. I mean, there are things
Speaker 1: you can do to maybe remind yourself of something if
Speaker 1: it's like important. But like, I have to let myself
Speaker 1: off the hook for not knowing things.
Speaker 4: Do you remember everyone's names?
Speaker 1: That is not true?
Speaker 4: And I feel like I was.
Speaker 1: I had my screen on dim for every single party
Speaker 1: I went to because I was googling fameous, very famous
Speaker 1: people's name to double check that I had their name
Speaker 1: right in the first place. And I forgot people that
Speaker 1: I last Nay, No, this is over the course of
Speaker 1: the weekend. Yes, probably last night. There were a couple moments. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's There was one moment where there was a woman
Speaker 1: who hugged me and talked to me in a way
Speaker 1: that I knew we had an intimacy of having worked
Speaker 1: together before, very closely. Could not place her, could not
Speaker 1: place her name, could not place where she where she works,
Speaker 1: what she does, anything, But I knew she had had
Speaker 1: a real moment with me.
Speaker 6: And you're not meant to know this many people. You
Speaker 6: know so many people every fault.
Speaker 1: Though, Like I can't be like, oh, I'm so dumb
Speaker 1: for forgetting like I would remember it if I could,
Speaker 1: like I did, of course, because I think we get
Speaker 1: people get offended when you don't remember them. But it's
Speaker 1: like I didn't choose the forging. I'm sorry, it doesn't
Speaker 1: mean anything.
Speaker 5: Well, it's also like one of these things where like
Speaker 5: to me, like if I've like met like like Tom
Speaker 5: Hanks or something like, yeah, to.
Speaker 3: Me, that is a pivotal moment in my life.
Speaker 5: Yes, And to Tom Hanks, I was just like a
Speaker 5: guy who was like when you go out there like
Speaker 5: hit this mark, of course he's not gonna remember me. Yes,
Speaker 5: But then like I'm not going to get offended by that,
Speaker 5: but some people do get offended by that.
Speaker 1: I saw a girl the other night, and I don't
Speaker 1: think I said this on the podcast the other day,
Speaker 1: but it happened previous to the podcast I was talking about, Like,
Speaker 1: there was a green room situation recently that was uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: and there was a person who said to Dane Cook
Speaker 1: as he walked in, hey, I have seen you since
Speaker 1: two thousand and seven. You don't remember me, do you?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: God, like dang Cooked two thousand and seven remembers any
Speaker 1: he met. He probably has the Guinness World Records of
Speaker 1: having met the most people in a year for that
Speaker 1: year of his life.
Speaker 3: Of course, yeah that was like peak dang Cup.
Speaker 1: Was born. Yet you don't remember me, do you? Has that?
Speaker 1: Have you ever becies? I know you wouldn't say that,
Speaker 1: but let's never say that sentence ever because has that
Speaker 1: ever worked out for someone? Because either the person's forced
Speaker 1: to lie to you, which you don't want, or they
Speaker 1: just feel bad and you're like you back to the
Speaker 1: shame thing, You're like shaming.
Speaker 6: That's that when statement you were that asshole that I
Speaker 6: tried to forget.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I think the general just always say nice to see
Speaker 3: you again.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I just think be honest and say nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: And if they say we've already met, then that's fine too,
Speaker 1: and you go, oh, I'm so sorry. Just let's all
Speaker 1: be honest and let's all let people off the hook
Speaker 1: for not remembering us, no matter who you are. Everyone.
Speaker 1: If you can't, if you can't forgive other people for
Speaker 1: forgetting you, then you deserve everyone to expect you to
Speaker 1: remember everyone, and that's not fair. You want people to
Speaker 1: forgive you. You can't be bitchy when someone doesn't remember you,
Speaker 1: no matter how many times they met, because they might
Speaker 1: have a brain disease or something like. It's not their
Speaker 1: fault they don't remember you.
Speaker 6: I ondred percent agree with what you're saying in an
Speaker 6: ideal world, But for someone like me, it's like if
Speaker 6: I I have to say it's good to see you
Speaker 6: again because the risk of them being an asshole and
Speaker 6: then holding it against it. Yeah, it's just too great.
Speaker 1: Nice to see you. It's just the way to get
Speaker 1: away in Hollywood.
Speaker 6: Nice to see you.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it you could have met before, but
Speaker 1: it also could sound like it's the first time you met.
Speaker 4: It covers both m using it. Okay, I'm abuming back
Speaker 4: after this.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, it's nice to see you. We're back.
Speaker 6: So you went the three parties?
Speaker 1: Okay, first night was supposed to go to three, went
Speaker 1: to one because just got out late. And then it
Speaker 1: was a nice hang and day brunch.
Speaker 6: What was the first one?
Speaker 1: The first one?
Speaker 6: Hollywood Reporter on Hollywood Reporter, they had the nice pool.
Speaker 6: It was the rented house.
Speaker 1: Chris Hardway hung out with this all night long because
Speaker 1: he also didn't we all both didn't really have anyone
Speaker 1: with us, so we hung out with hard Work for like.
Speaker 6: Two hours, which midnight was across the lot from not Safe.
Speaker 1: It was, And I used to do that show constantly.
Speaker 1: Chris Hardwick is a big part of my Like, uh,
Speaker 1: I think emergence as a Quippi comedic force.
Speaker 3: Sure so quick.
Speaker 1: So he's so quick, and he's such a generous laugher
Speaker 1: and so like there's just people along your career that
Speaker 1: like have laughed hard at you on TV or told
Speaker 1: the audience at home that you got a standing ovation
Speaker 1: like these it's Kevin Hart saying that gave me a
Speaker 1: huge boost that night, even though what he was just
Speaker 1: saying what happened, It helped in a way that people
Speaker 1: don't understand.
Speaker 6: You were blessed by the King.
Speaker 1: Yes, him just saying that it was a huge deal
Speaker 1: for my career and it was a pivotal moment, Like
Speaker 1: my set was a pivotal moment, but him saying that
Speaker 1: was even I would say more crucial to that moment.
Speaker 1: And then Chris Hardwick always just like laughing at my
Speaker 1: jokes so well on at midnight or making a big
Speaker 1: deal of them or like you know that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: We were, Sean and I were just talking about like
Speaker 1: good laughers do so much for your career. Yeah, like
Speaker 1: in the right place. So yeah, Chris Hardwik we hung
Speaker 1: out with him all night. And who else did I
Speaker 1: meet there? Yeah, the George Lopez's daughter was really nice,
Speaker 1: Mayan Lopez. And then cool name yeah and Mayan Lopez.
Speaker 6: Like a y A n y.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that comic.
Speaker 1: She wants to do stand up to her dad, George Lopez.
Speaker 1: They have a show called Lopez Versus Lopez. Yes, kind of,
Speaker 1: she's a big fan. And then really really nice. I
Speaker 1: saw Lily sing and I strapped your name. Yeah, she
Speaker 1: loves you so much. He looked amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean come on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a style icon.
Speaker 5: She Yeah, she has like her own Yeah, like definitely,
Speaker 5: like she has a look that like she is kind
Speaker 5: of nailed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's one of the prettiest people. Like she's so
Speaker 1: so pretty. Anyway, nice talk to her and then yeah,
Speaker 1: and then we had a brunch on Saturday.
Speaker 6: So this is officially sanctioned brunch.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The BAFTAs the British Arts and Film Television Academy.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so what they're like drafting off of the Emmys
Speaker 6: or is this the same weekend they're doing.
Speaker 1: The I don't really know what. It was just another
Speaker 1: place to do.
Speaker 6: So where is the brunch?
Speaker 1: Red carpet interviews? And the brunch was at the Maybourne
Speaker 1: in Beverly Hills Hotel.
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, yeah, it was like.
Speaker 1: In this garden area during the day. I saw the
Speaker 1: actor and actress from uh Colin from Accounts, which is
Speaker 1: a really good Do you like that?
Speaker 3: I started watching it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're married, so cute. Love it. Love to see
Speaker 1: a couple be their kind of couple of dynamic in
Speaker 1: the show.
Speaker 6: Sidebar, the show that won for Best Show or whatever
Speaker 6: at the Old Horses or Slow Has anyone watched that
Speaker 6: because I haven't.
Speaker 5: Heard of it.
Speaker 3: I love Slow Horse.
Speaker 6: Okay, so this is something I should watch.
Speaker 5: It won it won Best Writing for a Drama. It
Speaker 5: is a straight up comedy. It is has so many
Speaker 5: more jokes than the Bear. Really yeah no, it's written
Speaker 5: by a Veep guy like yeah, Will.
Speaker 6: Smith Smith Okay, and then Will Smith had a great
Speaker 6: joke he.
Speaker 1: Said, the greatest We're all thinking it.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's so yeah.
Speaker 1: I love that he was that we all were a
Speaker 1: little bit nervous as Will Smith was approaching the stage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then he got up there and.
Speaker 6: It was I'm not going to slap anybody ever watched it.
Speaker 5: Picture like James Bond, it's the m I six and
Speaker 5: this is like the rejects of the m I six
Speaker 5: and they all have like just desk jobs, and Gary
Speaker 5: Oldman is just it's like the c I A of England, okay,
Speaker 5: and like they're all just terrible spies.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: And then that's what Slow Horses is about.
Speaker 3: Thought it was a.
Speaker 6: Country it was like cowboy thing, no horses. I would
Speaker 6: watch the show you're describing. I would watch the show
Speaker 6: you're describing, and I did not have any interest in slow.
Speaker 1: Not a good name, I thought. I said the same thing.
Speaker 1: It's like, it does not grip me.
Speaker 4: Slow Horses.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there it's Slow Horses. It's set and slow. That's
Speaker 5: where their office is.
Speaker 3: I still don't know.
Speaker 6: Okay, that confuses and upsets me, but I'm going to
Speaker 6: watch it off.
Speaker 3: They're no longer like in the field, but.
Speaker 1: I'm definitely gonna love this.
Speaker 3: It's so funny.
Speaker 1: I had to watch horses on horses.
Speaker 5: It was like Yellowstone rip something Gary Olmen's disgusting and
Speaker 5: that he doesn't wear makeup. He has like long, greasy hair,
Speaker 5: and he just like farts and burbs.
Speaker 1: Okay, I really, I honestly think that I was not
Speaker 1: going to watch it because I honestly don't like watching
Speaker 1: animals on shows because they can't consent to it and
Speaker 1: just it's like babies too, where I'm just like that
Speaker 1: baby just wants it's mom and it's like looking around
Speaker 1: for its mom, and like you can't explain to a
Speaker 1: baby like, no, you're making your mom money right now
Speaker 1: that she's going to steal from you. That's how I
Speaker 1: met your mother scene. Yeah, that is, And that's how
Speaker 1: I feel about like animals. I'm always just like they
Speaker 1: don't want to be there, they don't understand this. I
Speaker 1: can't watch that chimp Crazy thing. I just don't want
Speaker 1: to see give you a break, cute and comfortable chim Crazy.
Speaker 5: I watched the first two episodes and I felt so
Speaker 5: bad watching Get This.
Speaker 1: My mom hired the woman from Chimp Crazy. I did
Speaker 1: to my sister's birthday, which she was seven. Placed it.
Speaker 4: Yes, chimp in our house for Lauren's birthday.
Speaker 1: Because this was before we understood animal No one new
Speaker 1: in the nineties. This is nineteen nineties.
Speaker 7: Yea.
Speaker 5: At that time we were still had like no on
Speaker 5: TV with like chimps with peanut butter in their mouth,
Speaker 5: like I ac feel.
Speaker 1: Like they're yes, yes, maybe this was, but everybody held
Speaker 1: this chip, he got that rolled off. Anyone's was a baby,
Speaker 1: it was okay. The mother was somewhere, yeah, crying, and
Speaker 1: the mother was something I remember, yeah, grow up now
Speaker 1: I feel bad they get wild.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, because they the second episode focuses remember the
Speaker 5: lady who got it.
Speaker 1: I've read everything there is that documentary can tell me anything.
Speaker 5: That they have, like interviews with all of her friends,
Speaker 5: the chimp owner, because it was like her friends.
Speaker 3: Dude, it's gnarly.
Speaker 1: I have I think I've seen pictures from I remember
Speaker 1: all that.
Speaker 5: But they show like the chimp when he was like
Speaker 5: a baby and it was like so fun and like
Speaker 5: going to parties for people, and then.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I could have been that chimp.
Speaker 4: It could have been.
Speaker 3: And then when her.
Speaker 4: Oh it wasn't. I know it wasn't because when the.
Speaker 3: Owner's husband died.
Speaker 5: The chimp became so depressed he started overeating and he
Speaker 5: gained like all these pictures of him just like looking
Speaker 5: like my seven hundred pounds wife, and then he.
Speaker 1: Jesus, no one to be surprised, but yeah, that chimp
Speaker 1: was Lauren. I go, Lauren, how did you? She's like,
Speaker 1: I'm watching himp crazy. This woman came to my seventh
Speaker 1: grade birthday. I'm like, how did you remember that? She
Speaker 1: was like, I just remember. She remembered that day so well,
Speaker 1: and the woman she remembered the woman.
Speaker 4: I got to watch it because I remember you booked her.
Speaker 3: For them.
Speaker 4: I love that party. I was like, this is the
Speaker 4: coolest party.
Speaker 1: That birthday party came. Yeah, I mean there was a chimp.
Speaker 4: The scariest part was one of the neighbor girls. We
Speaker 4: thought she might have measles, and she was.
Speaker 1: Like, you were scared to give the monkey measles?
Speaker 4: Yes, oh, I always afraid that maybe Rose was going
Speaker 4: to give the baby. So I'm like, you can't hold
Speaker 4: the chip.
Speaker 1: I remember there was a lot of anxiety around something
Speaker 1: that day. They're like, you cannot the fact that there
Speaker 1: was a champ, champ that might rip off against its
Speaker 1: will being placed into children's lap.
Speaker 4: Listen, what did I know?
Speaker 3: Did Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so appropriated.
Speaker 4: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Just a reminder to everyone animals do not want to
Speaker 1: be pet that they don't. Don't go to petting zoos,
Speaker 1: don't go to birthday, don't don't involve your kids in
Speaker 1: anything where there's a pet being paraded around like it
Speaker 1: it doesn't want to be there. It's not its jop.
Speaker 1: Pets are not I mean even pets like it's like
Speaker 1: they're kind of our slaves and people will have a
Speaker 1: problem with that.
Speaker 2: I came with people who who dress their pets up.
Speaker 2: It drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: You know, if it looks uncomfortable, I hate it. But
Speaker 1: if it like is a because sometimes I put you know,
Speaker 1: Marian in a little coat and she is cold because
Speaker 1: she's used to being and she's like not that I
Speaker 1: mean like costumes. Yeah no, it's a little annoying. I'm
Speaker 1: like whatever. But if it's like really hurts the animal
Speaker 1: and trying to get it off and it's like stay,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't care, But that's interesting.
Speaker 5: I follow one dog on Instagram named pop by the Foodie,
Speaker 5: and he wears these little Darling bow.
Speaker 4: Ties and is he a French bulldog or no, he's
Speaker 4: just like.
Speaker 3: A little Yorky and he has like a little bow tie.
Speaker 5: And then they just go to like upscale restaurants and
Speaker 5: they every restaurant feeds him.
Speaker 1: Okay, looks like he's having fun.
Speaker 3: Oh he's having a ball. I love pop Eye.
Speaker 6: Like the alternative like if someone is like I will
Speaker 6: only adopt a dog if I can dress it up.
Speaker 6: The alternatives that it stays in the shelter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess those are the two Bria lesser of
Speaker 1: two down. But there was like some famous hippo that's
Speaker 1: going around like there's a baby hippo and everyone's laughing.
Speaker 3: Day Yeah, everyone's laughing.
Speaker 1: I didn't look into it because immediately all I saw
Speaker 1: I was like, this little hippo looks constantly stressed. And
Speaker 1: I go wonder why, because it is if an animal
Speaker 1: looks stressed, possibly like everyone's laughing about how it always
Speaker 1: it looks like a human's emotion of stress. I guess yeah,
Speaker 1: and maybe it's not it's emotion, but I was like,
Speaker 1: it's probably because it's under stress because it's an internet
Speaker 1: star right now.
Speaker 5: Martha Kelly tweeted, like a picture three pictures of Moo
Speaker 5: dang I think is his name? Just screaming and just like, well,
Speaker 5: he's not screaming, he's biting.
Speaker 3: He doesn't want this.
Speaker 1: Like when your dog is smiling, it's thirsty. Your dog
Speaker 1: isn't happy. Its mouth is open because it needs water,
Speaker 1: and it's like that, Like any kind of video where
Speaker 1: there's a little dog. We've talked about this before. It
Speaker 1: bears mentioning again, like on Instagram, do not like things
Speaker 1: that are accounts that seem to be like a bunch
Speaker 1: of baby animals put together. Like those animals are often
Speaker 1: sedated so that they can get little You know, the
Speaker 1: dog is sleeping with the CHICKI those animals are not
Speaker 1: being handled by people who give a fuck about them.
Speaker 1: They are just trying to monetize these animals. They literally
Speaker 1: care less about those animals than maybe anyone, like the
Speaker 1: idea that they're allowed. They're they're a they seem like
Speaker 1: they're presenting like look, how cute this is. Don't I'm
Speaker 1: creating this content because I love them. They they care
Speaker 1: less about them than anyone, So please don't spread those around.
Speaker 1: Don't like them. They're really really bad. And even I
Speaker 1: didn't know about that until I saw one thing that
Speaker 1: and even if it's not, just don't risk it. Let's
Speaker 1: not even encourage people to get animals.
Speaker 6: To make I don't encourage anyone to do anything on
Speaker 6: the internet. I don't like anything stopped like general strike
Speaker 6: on liking don't be nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh wow, that's an interesting thing.
Speaker 6: It's about time we took our lives back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, come on, yeah, don't encourage anything.
Speaker 6: I do want to clarify on the dog. If the
Speaker 6: dog is smiling, it's not necessarily thirsty.
Speaker 3: It might just be hot.
Speaker 6: Yes, So I don't feel bad if your dog doesn't
Speaker 6: drink some water that you give it.
Speaker 1: If it's my dog never does yeah, yeah, It'll turn
Speaker 1: down water all day long. I'm trying to give it.
Speaker 1: And then it gets to the venue where all my
Speaker 1: friends are and it's like looking around and they can
Speaker 1: don a ble of water and it starts drinking like
Speaker 1: it's never drink before, Like I've been starving it all
Speaker 1: day and it's I'm sure moms deal with that with
Speaker 1: their kids of like their kids eating a lot.
Speaker 6: Suddenly, don't you give her water?
Speaker 1: Yeah, every single time, and to the point that now
Speaker 1: I go you guys, she's gonna drink a ton and
Speaker 1: I promise you look at me. I just tried to
Speaker 1: feed herself. I show them because it's so embarrassing every time.
Speaker 4: Didn't you say that when dogs yawn that they're anxiety.
Speaker 1: It's like helping them have like less anxiety.
Speaker 3: I do that.
Speaker 1: Yeahah sympathetic. Yeah, Like if you smile, it's like supposed
Speaker 1: to make you happier. If you yawn, it like tells
Speaker 1: your body like that's maybe time to calm down. But
Speaker 1: the best way to calm down I found when I'm
Speaker 1: like really like feeling this is is take deep breath,
Speaker 1: hold it for four seconds, and then let it out slowly.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that's pretty good.
Speaker 1: And that's one that won't make your like sometimes you
Speaker 1: hold it. Sometimes you say nine seconds, and I'm like
Speaker 1: that starts to make you feel like I'm going to
Speaker 1: pass out. Four seconds is just long enough?
Speaker 3: Yeah, it becomes very long. Nine Like can I just
Speaker 3: die from that?
Speaker 6: Talk about so you're at this brunch?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: So is the food?
Speaker 5: Like?
Speaker 6: Was it like a buffet?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 1: We were actually really disappointed because we thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be like a brunch, like we're gonna make
Speaker 1: plates and there's gonna be yeah, you know, and a
Speaker 1: thing a tray that you lift up like that with
Speaker 1: exit it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Chris likes his food.
Speaker 1: It was just finger foods and it was like British
Speaker 1: crumpet things. It was all standing in like a courtyard
Speaker 1: and like a grassy area. So we saw some communities.
Speaker 1: We didn't stay there long. I met a guy who's
Speaker 1: we met Taylor Swift, and so we talked about him
Speaker 1: meeting Taylor Swift and that was fun. And then another
Speaker 1: guy came up to us and he wanted to meet
Speaker 1: Chris because he saw me and he recognized me from
Speaker 1: the roast and he said, I wanted to see the
Speaker 1: guy that you're with because wow is special.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 1: He was like, I wanted I wanted to meet her obviously,
Speaker 1: but I really want to meet I saw you put
Speaker 1: your hand on her back and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's her boyfriend. Like what's that guy? Like this guy
Speaker 1: that invented the technology that James Cameron bought to he
Speaker 1: ended up buying for for her avatar.
Speaker 5: Yeah, like that's crazy.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And so he was there. He was like used to
Speaker 1: be on the board of Baptist or something, but he
Speaker 1: was just us. He was a really nice guy. Taught
Speaker 1: me the origin of why we call American football football?
Speaker 3: Do you know?
Speaker 6: No, wait, what why do we call football?
Speaker 1: Why do we call it football?
Speaker 6: I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's really interesting, actually, I mean not really. But it rugby.
Speaker 1: There's a rugby. Football is a kind of rugby, I guess,
Speaker 1: or maybe this is what they call rugby over there.
Speaker 1: And obviously football is like rugby. You can't toss forward,
Speaker 1: you can or like, no, you can't go gerals, you
Speaker 1: can only go laterals, something like that. But they invented football,
Speaker 1: our football, and they were like, but we can go forward,
Speaker 1: so it's like rugby, but it's different. And we want
Speaker 1: to call it rugby because it's essentially like rugby, but
Speaker 1: we can't do that, so we'll take the other word
Speaker 1: that is in their name, rugby football. And they just
Speaker 1: took football, wow, because it was based off of rugby football.
Speaker 1: But they couldn't take that.
Speaker 6: And then meanwhile, in Europe they're already have football. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 6: to just confuse matters more. Yes, that also has to
Speaker 6: do with why first downs and touchdowns are called those things.
Speaker 1: Because I have to tell you, I have to give
Speaker 1: an update I know what my dilemma I had. The
Speaker 1: reason I didn't understand. Okay, so let me just take
Speaker 1: you back. I didn't understand we are going to try
Speaker 1: we have four chances to get a first down. Okay,
Speaker 1: there's a first first down, second down, third down, fourth down.
Speaker 1: Those are the chances, and then you're trying to get
Speaker 1: a first down. I didn't understand why the thing you're
Speaker 1: trying to get is called is the first step? Like
Speaker 1: why is the first steps to go down? But I what
Speaker 1: I didn't understand is your and I and some besties
Speaker 1: helped me and I got there and there was just
Speaker 1: a moment where I go, oh my god, my like
Speaker 1: logic is flawed. What I needed to be told is
Speaker 1: that you're trying to get to the next first down.
Speaker 1: That's all I needed to be told. And that's why
Speaker 1: we call it first down because it's I knew it
Speaker 1: starts over. I know that, but I didn't understand that,
Speaker 1: Like you're talking about the first step again, Uh huh.
Speaker 1: You're there's only one set of things, and it's first down,
Speaker 1: second down, third down, fourth down. And when they say
Speaker 1: they're trying to get first down, it's not the group.
Speaker 1: It's not a separate thing. Then downs, you're just trying
Speaker 1: to start over again. Sure, so it's like a bunch
Speaker 1: of ladders stacked on each other, and you're always trying
Speaker 1: to get to the first rung of the next ladder.
Speaker 1: Oh so that's why you call it first rung.
Speaker 3: I mean that it's two.
Speaker 1: It's it's too confusing. I I I'm glad you got there.
Speaker 1: But it was there all along, like I understood all along,
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I knew, I knew, I didn't need to
Speaker 1: know that.
Speaker 6: I knew literally what it was, but conceptually there was
Speaker 6: some sort of mistikead how do you get there?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, no, no again, not how do you get there?
Speaker 1: It was just why is the thing you're trying to
Speaker 1: get named the same thing as the chance? But I
Speaker 1: didn't realize we're talking about the next first chance. That's
Speaker 1: what you're trying to get. I didn't understand, if any
Speaker 1: If that helps anyone. But then here's a crazy thing
Speaker 1: I did not know. And I am so embarrassed to
Speaker 1: admit that I did not know this until was it
Speaker 1: with you? Sean. That was on Thursday that it happened. Yet, Brian,
Speaker 1: you witnessed this.
Speaker 6: Oh, but I wasn't paying attention. I remember this conversation happening.
Speaker 1: This was brutal. This was so brutal because I like,
Speaker 1: I like, I get it reminded me so much. And
Speaker 1: this is again goes back to I can't help what
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't help, but I don't forget.
Speaker 1: It's not my fault that I didn't know this, but
Speaker 1: I was really felt so much shame because I'm like,
Speaker 1: what a fucking more on. I just learned that when
Speaker 1: there's only all offense or all defense on the field,
Speaker 1: I thought there was a combination of offense and defense
Speaker 1: much like football, or much like basketball, much like hockey,
Speaker 1: that like everyone's on the court at the same the
Speaker 1: field at the same time. So someone went to there
Speaker 1: was an interception, and then the guy they caught the
Speaker 1: other team caught it, and then that he ran it,
Speaker 1: and I go, is that so and so? And I
Speaker 1: guessed a. I guess running back or something and so
Speaker 1: and everyone goes what Andrew Collen was like, no, it's
Speaker 1: not the running back. And I was like, why is
Speaker 1: that so crazy that I thought it was the running back?
Speaker 1: And he's like, because that he's offense and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 1: but he could have been in that area and he
Speaker 1: was like what. And it was just like this moment
Speaker 1: of like wait, why, And then someone goes, they're not
Speaker 1: on the field, and I'm like what, But why wouldn't
Speaker 1: I think they'd be on the field unless so much time.
Speaker 1: This is different than every other kind of sport you
Speaker 1: ever heard of.
Speaker 6: When you were seeing that, at the time, it did
Speaker 6: seem like, oh, that doesn't make any sense. But now
Speaker 6: that you say it, like yeah, in in soccer, offense
Speaker 6: defense on the field the same time.
Speaker 3: In basketball, field, hockey, football.
Speaker 6: Basketball their dual threat. Yeah, yeah, so that makes sense
Speaker 6: that that's why.
Speaker 1: And someone goes, so you think that Tom Brady's out
Speaker 1: there like when they're on defense. I'm like, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: like in the back unless there's like an interception then
Speaker 1: they throwed him and then he and they're like, no,
Speaker 1: that doesn't make any sense. And it made me kind
Speaker 1: of sad that like the like a team like offense
Speaker 1: and defense, they're on the same team and they never
Speaker 1: get to play again.
Speaker 6: And then there's also special teams.
Speaker 1: And now I knew about that, Yeah, but they never
Speaker 1: get to all play together. No, no, never sad to me,
Speaker 1: I was a little bit bumped.
Speaker 6: And then one when one goes to the sideline and
Speaker 6: they could have a conversation, the other side goes on
Speaker 6: the field and they can't.
Speaker 1: Well, Patrick Mahomes said, he Irison mud Curry he's never
Speaker 1: even talked to in his life, Like remember the whole
Speaker 1: Irison Mudkert thing. And I think Patrick was like, I've
Speaker 1: talked to him maybe once, Like yeah, I think that
Speaker 1: was the statement. Yeah, so yeah, that was a big
Speaker 1: eye opening thing, and it remind to me. I think
Speaker 1: I like almost started crying when it happened because I
Speaker 1: was so embarrassed that like I'm, you know, watching this
Speaker 1: game with a bunch of people who know it, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm feeling like I'm like, you know, when you
Speaker 1: start to feel like I got this and then you
Speaker 1: like are like I so don't have it at all?
Speaker 6: Like it Dunning Kruger. Is that what it's called the
Speaker 6: Dunning Kruger effect. Yes, you know just enough to know
Speaker 6: to figure out that you know nothing.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's how it.
Speaker 6: Or really, the Dunning Kruger effect is when you don't
Speaker 6: realize yet really if you want to get technical, but.
Speaker 1: But I do have a book coming today. Oh that
Speaker 1: a bestie recommended me after the whole thing about the
Speaker 1: downs last time that I was so confused. And it's
Speaker 1: called I'm so excited because I'm going to read it
Speaker 1: so fast, I hope. Let me just look at my orders.
Speaker 1: It's arriving today. It is called Talk Sports like a Pro,
Speaker 1: ninety nine Secrets and Becoming a Sports Goddess. And it's
Speaker 1: kind of heared towards women, right.
Speaker 6: That sounds like my uh ninety nine had to talk
Speaker 6: to anyone, ninety nine big secrets for the little success. Let
Speaker 6: me see the cover of the book.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cool. It's like the Venus demilo. Who's
Speaker 1: the author statue it's Jane M. McCormick. Yeah, forward by
Speaker 1: ESPN sportscaster Chris.
Speaker 6: She's really expanding. I think that's the same person, the
Speaker 6: same person, yeah, who taught me to think about compliments.
Speaker 6: Remember what this might be. Let's find out.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. Thank you the best of you sent
Speaker 1: me that. I ordered it immediately, and uh, it's like
Speaker 1: not that well known of a book, so it kind
Speaker 1: of took a while.
Speaker 3: It and I want to be a sports goddess. Large.
Speaker 3: I want to.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this, all right, is it
Speaker 1: the same person?
Speaker 6: Different person is? Okay, yeah, I think that's a different person.
Speaker 1: Well, just I remember one time in French class I
Speaker 1: had a really really mean French teacher Kirkwood High School.
Speaker 3: Show.
Speaker 1: If you went to Kirkwoo High School in the early
Speaker 1: two thousands, there was a teacher I'm sure you're still around,
Speaker 1: one of the most scary people have ever I will
Speaker 1: ever know. She was like had the energy Nazi guard energy. Wow,
Speaker 1: Like I'm not kidding you. And I say that with
Speaker 1: like not even making a joke like cool, like to
Speaker 1: call people out like what would never Like I just
Speaker 1: went in that class every day terrify that she was
Speaker 1: going to make me feel stupid and get mad at
Speaker 1: me for not knowing French, and like really was like,
Speaker 1: there's a story I want to tell af air, but
Speaker 1: something no I can't. Let's let's actually bleep her name
Speaker 1: if you can, because I don't want to get in.
Speaker 1: She still scared me. She is a fucking f teacher.
Speaker 6: Answer wrong, hold up a picture of a dying bird.
Speaker 6: She honest.
Speaker 1: Shout out, Kate Cordy, you got busted for making fake
Speaker 1: flashcards because you would have to show her the flash
Speaker 1: cards that you made to practice vocab. And Kate did
Speaker 1: just a couple on the top and then fake ones
Speaker 1: for the rest, and she went through and saw they
Speaker 1: were blank, and it was like wow, like awful things
Speaker 1: to walk Kate get talked down to. And Kate was
Speaker 1: like me, like a good girl and just maybe did
Speaker 1: the wrong thing once and like got.
Speaker 6: So busted that she was a jew.
Speaker 1: It was honestly, she got it was it was, and
Speaker 1: we all looked away because it wasn't us yet. You know,
Speaker 1: eventually she would come for us, and then who would
Speaker 1: come who would help us?
Speaker 3: Well how much older, like she was.
Speaker 1: Probably in her mid thirties. Maybe why I.
Speaker 3: Care that much about teenagers learning fresh I.
Speaker 1: Think she must have been miserable.
Speaker 6: Maybe she doesn't care if she's just like a miserable.
Speaker 1: Bit wanted to win over her love so much. But
Speaker 1: one day and I was trying to do well in
Speaker 1: French three. It was sophomore year, I think, and I
Speaker 1: had gotten through French one with a different teacher, and
Speaker 1: or maybe I forget it. Anyway, I went in for
Speaker 1: tutoring for French three in during our contact period, which
Speaker 1: was a free period where most people socialized, but I
Speaker 1: was like trying to get better at French. So I
Speaker 1: went in to like sit alone with this woman. I'm
Speaker 1: terrified at her desk, and she discovered that I did
Speaker 1: not know what la and la is, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: know that loan law came before a noun because I
Speaker 1: just had bad French teachers before that, or that it
Speaker 1: just didn't get through and it doesn't makes it unless you.
Speaker 5: Stuff that's like kind of like basic, so like you
Speaker 5: kind of skipped ahead.
Speaker 1: I was learning like how to say typewriter and like
Speaker 1: let's go on a foot race, and so I didn't
Speaker 1: realize like things were feminine and masculine. I just maybe
Speaker 1: missed that day of school, like it's one day where
Speaker 1: you get told, hey, there's nouns in unlike English, each
Speaker 1: noun has a look in front of it or a
Speaker 1: lay or to indicate how many or what gender.
Speaker 6: The and the spelling is different depending on if you're
Speaker 6: doing spelling.
Speaker 1: Yes, So she discovered I didn't know law in law,
Speaker 1: and I remember she was so disgusted with me and
Speaker 1: just like why are how I thought I was gonna
Speaker 1: get kicked out her class because it was like, honestly,
Speaker 1: it's it's something I should have known at that level.
Speaker 1: And she was just horrified and disgusted by me. And
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. One of the greatest things that ever
Speaker 1: happened to me was one time on a test she wrote, PAML,
Speaker 1: do you.
Speaker 6: Know what means not bad?
Speaker 4: Not bad?
Speaker 1: And it was the greatest achievement of my life that
Speaker 1: she I remember thinking that was like an A plus
Speaker 1: play like it's that's why I remember it, because it
Speaker 1: was so amazing that she like gave me not bad.
Speaker 1: That's how awful she was. And then she was she
Speaker 1: left or I graduated to the next level somehow, and
Speaker 1: I got Madame Calfus, who my sister has worked with
Speaker 1: because my sister's a Spanish teacher after when I schooled.
Speaker 1: Madame Calvius is the greatest teacher I've ever had in
Speaker 1: my entire life that anyone could ever have in their
Speaker 1: entire life. Loved her so much. She made she just
Speaker 1: was she was. She had the best energy, like Matilda
Speaker 1: teacher energy just like maternal so sweet, never shamed me
Speaker 1: about how bad I was at French always believed to
Speaker 1: me to the point that I took ap French and
Speaker 1: I should not have been an ap French, but I
Speaker 1: just wanted to be around her. I was like kind
Speaker 1: of gay for her, Like I literally was like in
Speaker 1: love with her. I loved her and I still do.
Speaker 1: And it's so funny. I was the Emmy's last week
Speaker 1: the Creative Arts Emmys and a girl came up to
Speaker 1: me who was featured in a movie called Girl State
Speaker 1: that won an Emmy. It's like a documentary about women
Speaker 1: in politics or something, but this young girl was in
Speaker 1: it and she came up to me and she goes,
Speaker 1: I know Senora Green.
Speaker 6: Wow.
Speaker 1: I was in Senora Green's class and she was my
Speaker 1: sister's student.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: So cute, and she was so excited. She was like,
Speaker 1: and I know Madame calf Like this girl, I guess
Speaker 1: took two languages. And she was like I had Madame
Speaker 1: Calviuss and I go.
Speaker 5: She was not.
Speaker 1: We both like were like Adam Calfus, like we were
Speaker 1: both still gay for Like that's how amazing the teacher was.
Speaker 1: So it's not just a French teacher thing like some
Speaker 1: it was. It was remarkable that I had but both
Speaker 1: the worst and best teachers in the same subject. Final
Speaker 1: thought any did you guys have any really bad or
Speaker 1: good teachers.
Speaker 6: It's amazing how some teachers really stick out as like memorable,
Speaker 6: and you wonder, like, well they have so many students,
Speaker 6: Like meeting Tom Hanks, It's like do they actually remember.
Speaker 1: I never think they remember me.
Speaker 6: And I got confirmation that one of my favorite teachers,
Speaker 6: David Dubin is his name. He was my English teacher.
Speaker 6: He remembered me because my for whatever reason, my cousin
Speaker 6: went was in the same house as him, like two
Speaker 6: weeks ago. Some thing was happening. I don't know exactly
Speaker 6: what was happening, but there was some reason and he
Speaker 6: asked about me and he was like, I love Brian,
Speaker 6: he was a great student blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: And yeah.
Speaker 1: It was like that's so validating.
Speaker 6: I mean, because he was one of my favorites. It
Speaker 6: was him. Yeah, he was probably my favorite teacher.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, yeah, my favorite teacher English and drama Miss Filosa.
Speaker 3: I was obsessed with Miss Fellosa. I was in love
Speaker 3: with Miss Fellosa.
Speaker 5: We went to her wedding and I cried like there
Speaker 5: it is like the only girl oh ever love, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, And it makes so much sense, like you're
Speaker 1: good at English and theater, so I bet she was
Speaker 1: actually like she.
Speaker 3: Was so bad. She was like telling me music. I
Speaker 3: would like like, and I'm like, I.
Speaker 1: Had a teacher give me music too, and it was
Speaker 1: a little bit like, don't do don't be giving me CDs,
Speaker 1: but he didn't mean anything by it. But looking back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, if I wouldn't want my daughters at I'm
Speaker 1: not even gonna say name. There was nothing about it.
Speaker 1: No is in high school?
Speaker 3: Yeah no, And when she gave me the CD, I'm like,
Speaker 3: please do anything you want to.
Speaker 4: God can always fall for their female teacher.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's why, Lauren. Yeah, when you had to
Speaker 1: get here, I was like, you know, every boy liked
Speaker 1: and she would just be like, that is disgusting. I
Speaker 1: don't even want to hear it. Like we're like, it
Speaker 1: doesn't even know. There's not even something we could joke
Speaker 1: about because it was so disgusting.
Speaker 3: It's so real, so real.
Speaker 1: She's way too pretty.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you have become like, yeah, an inside joke for
Speaker 5: every boy.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to shout out one of the funniest
Speaker 1: lines of last night that I wrote in my phone
Speaker 1: because I wanted to bring it up last night at
Speaker 1: the HBO party, which is one that we didn't get
Speaker 1: to today, but uh, just briefly it was that was
Speaker 1: the one we got to where John Oliver was there,
Speaker 1: but my mom and I ended up like investigating. We
Speaker 1: found this karaoke room I fill my mom dance sing
Speaker 1: and in this little air baby Smooth JB. Smooth from
Speaker 1: you know, Kurby Enthusiasm and he was dancing, so they
Speaker 1: were both like the only ones dancing in this room.
Speaker 1: It was really cute and god, I love him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then what did you say? What what led to
Speaker 1: your line? Because I want to set this up the
Speaker 1: right way.
Speaker 5: I think your mom was talking about how it was
Speaker 5: like I think his wife was there, but he was
Speaker 5: like he was making you feel like the only woman.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then Ton goes, if I can think of anyone
Speaker 1: in an open relationship, it would be JB. Smooth, understand,
Speaker 1: because it's so true a party that would be cool
Speaker 1: with like a.
Speaker 4: Swing liken't care.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: So we got to go. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: being here, Sean again, it's been a pleasure, Mom. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Safe travels back. Any final thoughts about the weekend?
Speaker 4: Oh, God, it's there's so much that I just can't
Speaker 4: even explain it. So fun.
Speaker 1: What's the most fun?
Speaker 4: Well, the whole thing, the fact that I got to
Speaker 4: come out here, was that you're being vague people. What
Speaker 4: you gift did me this weekend? This I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm sending a venmollin boys. Damn it, we didn't talk
Speaker 1: about that. I'll pay it. I just want you to
Speaker 1: know the number two.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I want to know those numbers. How much
Speaker 4: was that?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: It was so much fun.
Speaker 1: You're so fun and you're always so down, and it's
Speaker 1: so nice to have a mom who's like so with
Speaker 1: it and is someone that you can bring to these
Speaker 1: things and shows up looking as cute as you did,
Speaker 1: and like it blends in perfectly to your whole Hollywood scene.
Speaker 1: So it's so fun. So we'll do many more because yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm nominated for an Emmy next year. It's crazy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: already two Emmys. I know, I don't like to talk
Speaker 1: about the other one, but I'm glad you bought it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to brag too much, but yeah, to
Speaker 1: the nominations already done next year, twenty twenty five. It's insane,
Speaker 1: so thank you guys so much for voting, and yeah
Speaker 1: we'll see you then, but more podcast next week, and yeah,
Speaker 1: don't be cood by. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a
Speaker 1: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by
Speaker 1: Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and
Speaker 1: Noah Avior. Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video
Speaker 1: production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina. You can
Speaker 1: now watch full episodes of the Nicky Glazer podcast on YouTube,
Speaker 1: follow at Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel