WEBVTT - “MY FRIEND’S HUSBAND IS SUS” 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.480 Hello, Welcome to the Therapy Gecko podcast. I am alive, 0:00:03.760 --> 0:00:06.600 and I am here. And if you are conscious enough 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:09.680 to uh be listening to this right now, that means 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:15.080 you're alive, unless if you I wonder if anyone's ever 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:20.480 like been listening to the podcast and then it auto 0:00:20.520 --> 0:00:24.400 plays a new episode, but they died while they were 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.280 listening to it, And and this is this is just 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:30.680 being my voice is being broadcasted into an empty room 0:00:30.720 --> 0:00:34.320 with a dead person in it who died. That's a 0:00:34.400 --> 0:00:36.559 dark thought, but it's not. I'm I don't. I'm not. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:38.479 I don't feel connected to the darkness in it in 0:00:38.520 --> 0:00:41.440 this moment. I'm just exploring it as an idea. Okay, 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:48.040 I'm on a lot of stimulants. I took some vibance, 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.520 which is great. I think I needed it. Do not recommend, 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:54.840 don't don't. Don't get it from the street, don't get 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.520 it from the silk road. But if there's like a 0:00:57.520 --> 0:01:00.800 a dude who with a who went to school to 0:01:00.920 --> 0:01:03.760 do stuff, and he tells you that you can have it, 0:01:04.280 --> 0:01:07.399 then it's great. And I also have a little bit 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:11.360 of celsius. Celsius is over the counter. You do not 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:13.920 need a doctor to obscribe you Celsius, although it should 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:19.240 be Celsius. Celsius should absolutely be. I love Celsius, I 0:01:19.319 --> 0:01:23.000 endorse it, Celsius. If you're listening, I will gladly chill you. 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:29.120 I'll do it for free. Celsius should be a Schedule 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.720 two drug. What is marijuana? Marijuana is like Schedule one? Right, 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.520 I'm gonna look this up. Hold on, I'm gonna look 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.080 this up. This is going in the intro of the podcast. 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:52.600 Schedule one drugs. What are the Schedule one drugs? Okay, heroin, marijuana? 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:57.040 Why are heroin and marijuana on the same fucking thing. 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.840 What are the schedule two drugs? Okay? Schedule one drugs 0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:07.960 are heroin, marijuana, cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, psilocybin. That's weird that 0:02:08.000 --> 0:02:09.720 those are all in the same schedule. What's the Schedule 0:02:09.760 --> 0:02:14.080 two drug What does the schedules even mean? Okay, Schedule 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:22.520 two is meth oxycotton, fentanyl. What's going on? Do I 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.000 dare even figure out what's going on on Schedule three? 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:29.280 Schedule three? Okay, these are drugs with moderate to low 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:33.120 potential for abuse and addiction. Wait a minute, okay, so 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:37.280 if so, Schedule one is the most potential for addiction, 0:02:37.360 --> 0:02:39.720 and then schedule two and then it goes down as 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.760 the number goes up. Wait, so what the fuck it? 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:46.040 Fentanyl is a Schedule two drug and marijuana is schedule one. 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:52.960 That's fascinating. Although I guess I'm such an idiot. I'm 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.440 sitting over here being like, what, marijuana is addictive and 0:02:56.480 --> 0:03:03.040 I fucking smoke it every day? But yeah, celsius should 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:06.000 be at least scheduled. I'm gonna celsius should be at 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:11.800 least to schedule to substance. But it's great caffeine, it's nice, 0:03:11.840 --> 0:03:16.960 it gets you going. I have a friend he's a doctor, 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.360 and I ask I. I text him once a week 0:03:20.919 --> 0:03:23.680 the same question. I have a friend who's a doctor, 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.160 and once a week I text him the same question. 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.680 Once a week, I text my friend who's a doctor. 0:03:30.880 --> 0:03:33.040 Is celsius bad for you? Is it bad for me 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:36.520 to drink one every day? And once a week? He says, 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:38.680 He says the same thing. He says, you asked me 0:03:38.720 --> 0:03:43.120 this last week, and the answer is it's probably fine, 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.160 just don't overdo it. But that's the question, is doing 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:53.640 it every day overdoing it? Don't get any medical don't 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:56.360 get any advice of any kind from this podcast. This 0:03:56.440 --> 0:04:00.640 podcast is just this is a I am. I am 0:04:00.680 --> 0:04:07.720 a man navigating the universe through talking to people and 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:12.280 drinking a lot of caffeine. And I am my own 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:24.840 little guinea pig boy just fucking slamming Celsius and white 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:29.599 Cheddar popcorn and frantically texting anyone who I think might 0:04:30.240 --> 0:04:33.160 be an authority as to whether or not that will 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:38.480 kill me, while knowing deep in my gut that of 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:41.880 course it will. But I actually feel good right now. 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:43.799 I feel ready to talk to some people on the phone, 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:47.400 So let's do that. Hello, Hi, what is your name? 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:48.320 What is your name? 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:49.640 I'm gonna go buy Olivia? 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.520 Olivia? What up, Olivia? How you doing today? 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:54.400 I'm good. 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:56.279 I feel like I need your advice. I have like 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:57.200 a crazy. 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:57.440 Story for you. 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:02.760 Okay, I'll try. I'm I've been saying I feel like 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:04.880 I've been saying this the whole time. I've been doing this. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:09.480 But I have very I have a narrow range of 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:14.479 things I actually feel as though unqualified to advise over. 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:18.039 But I'll whatever this is, I can at least commit 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:21.040 to pondering it with you. It tell me what it is? 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:24.280 Yes, it's like it's like not like I need an 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:27.480 expert opinion, it's definitely a pondering one because it's just 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.839 so odd. Okay, I think Okay, I went to my 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.560 friend's wedding this weekend, and I can explain the context 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:36.320 of why I think it's him. I went to my 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.919 friend's wedding this weekend. I left my wallet there. She 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.720 took it home for me. I think her new husband 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:47.520 took my credit my debit card information and tried to 0:05:47.560 --> 0:05:49.000 add it to his Apple wallet. 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:52.400 What makes you think that? 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:54.400 So? 0:05:54.640 --> 0:06:00.159 Like, I'll tell you first that like everyone swore up 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.640 and down, like she made sure my debit card got 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:08.279 home safe. I thought a notification like basically like the 0:06:08.320 --> 0:06:11.520 next morning that someone added my debit card to their 0:06:11.560 --> 0:06:14.480 Apple wallet. I checked her location. She was taking her 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:17.280 dogs for the daily walk, and it was like his 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:20.680 first time being home alone with the card. And then 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:25.200 like the context just is that like historically he's been 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:29.640 like really weird about money. He apparently has two hundred 0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:34.240 K and credit card debt. Like I don't even know 0:06:34.240 --> 0:06:37.120 how you amass that number. There's like a gambling thing 0:06:37.200 --> 0:06:43.799 going on. There's like a prison history, and like even 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:47.200 with her like like one time she had to stay 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.680 home from work for a week to take care of 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:54.600 his dog because his dog needed surgery, and so she 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:56.479 wasn't able to make money that week, and so she 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:58.360 was like, hey, could you know we usually split the 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:01.800 chur like the bills fifty and this week, like I'm 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:03.359 staying home to take care of your dog, could we 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:06.000 split it like seventy five twenty five? And he was 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:08.960 like absolutely not, Like that's not fair. I just feel 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:11.400 like I don't know, the whole thing is just it's 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:13.560 just been a lot. They got together after like nine 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:17.040 months of dating, and I've just always gotten a weird vibe. 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.600 And then finally like he's alone with my debit card 0:07:19.840 --> 0:07:23.000 and it gets added to like someone's Apple wallet, you know. 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:26.960 Whoa Okay, so is so now are you kind of 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:30.960 like I kind of want to be like, yo, hey 0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:34.040 did your boyfriend do this? But that opens up a 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:36.400 can of worms of like how could you possibly accuse 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:37.480 my boyfriend of doing this? 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:39.040 Yes? 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.080 And it's like her literal husband now like they just 0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:45.520 got married, okay, like this is the groom? 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:47.600 Is your Okay? So all this shit you were telling 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:51.480 me about right, like your friend how ignorant? Is she 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.560 in the sense of like if you said this to her, 0:07:54.640 --> 0:07:57.520 would she be like, how dare you accuse my husband? 0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:00.240 Or which? Or on a scale of how dare you 0:08:00.280 --> 0:08:03.480 accuse my husband to Yeah, that kind of sounds like 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:07.120 some shit he would do. Where where's she at? 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.720 I feel like she's a five. That's a great question. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.040 I feel like we're out of five? 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.080 Where are you really out of five? 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:19.040 Because I even told her like leading up to this, like, hey, 0:08:19.120 --> 0:08:22.120 like I think you should consider getting a prenup, like 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:23.160 he like they moved. 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.160 Oh no, they didn't get up. She didn't get a prenup. 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:28.280 No, she didn't get a prenup. And let me tell 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:31.560 you something like she inherited some like her house from 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:34.400 her grandmother, Like she lives in her grandmother's house. He 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.160 moved in with her a month after they started dating. 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:40.160 Like I don't know. 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:43.640 By we're getting into territory that I don't know about. 0:08:43.640 --> 0:08:48.840 But my understanding of a pre my understanding of how 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:52.360 marriage works is that, like I actually I'm curious about 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:53.920 this because I don't I don't I understand or how 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.760 marriage works is that like whatever assets you have before 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.880 you get married, you keep whether or not you have 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:02.480 a preno. But I don't know if that's true. 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.920 I think that's like that is what the prenup like creates. 0:09:09.000 --> 0:09:11.880 Like I thought, like once you're married, everything's weard. But 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.200 if you get a prenup, it states like no, like 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:16.839 anything that I made before we got married is mine? 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.480 Can you inherit? I think that's the point of like, 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.720 like if they get divorced, do you can you can 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.560 inherit debts not not not not not inherent like you 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.920 can so like if so like like if she gets divorced, 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:32.480 does is he like all right in the divorce you 0:09:32.520 --> 0:09:35.280 can have one hundred thousand dollars of my debt? 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:40.199 I like don't know because I'm like twenty five, but 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:41.080 like so is she? 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:41.720 You know? 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.680 But like my understanding too is like like a prenup 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:49.240 can protect you from like medical debt or something like 0:09:49.240 --> 0:09:51.320 like and I was I said to her, like, girl, 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:52.920 what if you got cancer all of a sudden and 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:55.320 then you passed away and then like he inherited, we 0:09:55.400 --> 0:09:57.400 need to divorce a in the comments please, I'm not 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.240 going to read the comments, I promise, But like I 0:10:00.240 --> 0:10:02.360 don't know, and so I did I did what I 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:05.280 did do was I did call her and I was like, hey, 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:09.800 like my bank contacted me and said someone added my 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:14.559 debit card to their Apple wallet, and you know, like 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.839 I'm I and they asked me to explain why because 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:22.240 they want to contact law enforcement about this, and like, 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:24.600 you know, did you see anything weird around my card? 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.160 She was like no, it was exactly where you had 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.400 left it, blah blah blah, like we had, you know, 0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:33.320 like gotten ready in the same place. And so I 0:10:33.360 --> 0:10:35.240 was like, okay, like they said, it happened at seven 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:38.120 to fifty in the morning, and she was like, oh, well, 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:42.240 your card was alone with I'll just say Bob like 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:45.160 your no, like it was it was just Bob at 0:10:45.160 --> 0:10:48.160 the house with your debit card. And she slowed down 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:49.480 for a second, you know what I mean? 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:54.840 Wait this Okay, So there's like mounting like like evidence 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:57.240 she was out on the walk with the dog at 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.680 the time that the card was suspiciously added to Apple 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:06.600 pey correct, and she's a five on the scale of 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:12.400 how dare you too? Sounds like some shit he would do. Yeah, 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:15.760 did you bring up did you say you did you 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:17.600 did you say to this did you say to your 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:19.240 friend like yo, he probably did this. 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:24.200 No, So like I'm like, like the route that I 0:11:24.280 --> 0:11:26.360 kind of take with stuff like this is like, oh, 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:28.960 like I would never want like any one of my 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.480 friends to feel like they couldn't come to me about something, 0:11:31.520 --> 0:11:35.040 God forbid they were in like an unsafe scenario, and 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:37.520 like none of my money ended up getting taken because 0:11:37.520 --> 0:11:41.440 I blocked the transaction. So I just played stupid and 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:44.040 I said to her like, oh, then it must someone 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:46.560 must have written down my credit card information at a 0:11:46.559 --> 0:11:49.160 restaurant and like just added it. At that same time, 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:51.040 like I gave her this, I was like, I'll just 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:53.120 tell my bank that someone wrote down my debit card 0:11:53.120 --> 0:11:55.440 information and added it to their Apple. While at that time, 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.800 like I'll just make up some story. I was like, oh, well, 0:11:57.840 --> 0:11:59.560 I know he wouldn't do it, so I'll just say 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.640 this even though I think you would. 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:05.439 Do it, Yeah, well you wouldn't. 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:06.559 I don't know it that well. 0:12:08.120 --> 0:12:13.280 Well yeah, well here's the thing is, well, I guess 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.400 the question is okay, well, okay, so you asked me 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:19.840 if I had advice, and I guess the thing is like, well, well, 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:22.440 what are you supposed to do? Right, because like, well 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.080 I'm trying to like, what's the maybe, like, Okay, I'm 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.560 trying to like, what's like the problem here in the 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:32.240 sense of, like, all right, look you yeah you canceled 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:38.160 the card, right, yeah, so you're getting into you're getting 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:43.240 a new card shift, yes, okay, so that so you're 0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:46.360 taking care of on that front. So that's not the problem. 0:12:46.400 --> 0:12:49.560 The problem is the I'm trying to like, Okay, the 0:12:49.640 --> 0:12:56.079 root problem is that your friend is dating this guy 0:12:57.080 --> 0:13:03.760 who uh is is clear you know, does shit like this? 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:10.680 And you're concerned for your friend, yes, and even more so, 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:14.920 like she's now married to him, and we're like in 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.360 the annulment period and I'm like he just did the 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:20.960 crazy like and like so like I feel like I 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:26.000 have this like like do I might have a very 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:28.880 critical piece of information that she might want to know? 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:29.640 I don't know. 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:32.320 But I also feel like I don't know, like I 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.840 don't have evidence of it though, and I wouldn't want to, like, 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.360 while she's just married this man who could be totally 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:42.120 fine and maybe a changed guy since is past and everything, 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:43.280 Like I don't know. 0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.760 How well do you like, Okay, this friend? How long 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:49.679 are you guys been friends for? 0:13:51.640 --> 0:13:54.280 We've been friends for like three years, but we talk 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:58.040 on the phone very regularly, and I'd say, we're like 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.760 quite close, and. 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:03.160 She what's her deal with? What's the deal with her 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:04.760 in the sky? That they started they dated for like 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:06.160 nine months, so then got married. 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:11.280 They dated for nine months, got engaged, and then a 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:14.200 year later they got married. But like he gave her 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.360 a promise ring like two months in they got a 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.440 dog together, like a month into dating. 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:25.040 Well here's the thing, look the end. She also, yeah, 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.280 go ahead, I mean, yeah, go ahead, you go ahead. 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:34.320 A month before she started dating, she had like years prior, 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.280 like hooked up with him once. And she said to me, 0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:40.160 right before she started dating him, like she knew she 0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.000 was going to see in that summer, she was like, 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:43.720 you have to promise me you won't let me date him, 0:14:44.160 --> 0:14:49.320 Like he's bad news. You have to promise me, she 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:50.760 told you. 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:53.800 Wait, so she herself said, he's bad news. You have 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.640 to promise me that you won't let me date him. 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.880 Yes and so, And part of that apparently was because 0:15:01.920 --> 0:15:05.760 she thought he ghosted her or something. And so like 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.280 a month later I get a call. I two months later, 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:10.960 I talk to her on the phone because we're not 0:15:11.000 --> 0:15:15.600 like constantly texting. We're more like phone people. And she's like, 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.480 oh yeah, he moved in with me and we got 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.040 a dog together. And so I straight up said, like, 0:15:21.360 --> 0:15:24.280 is this not the guy who like you told me 0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:27.640 to not let you date? Like he is this like 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:31.360 old prison cell number tattooed on him, you know what 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:34.720 I mean? And like I also fully believe people can change, 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.840 but then like I don't know, also just like the 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.720 way he like treats her talks to sometimes, like I 0:15:41.760 --> 0:15:43.440 have to take a little bit of issue with. 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.560 Well, this is like I mean, this is kind of 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:54.120 like when you like this issue, like when you boil 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:57.320 it down right, this is kind of a classic issue, 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.920 Like it's this is like this is a very It's 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:05.520 a classic case of like my friend is dating somebody 0:16:06.120 --> 0:16:11.680 who I know is like shitty for them, and yet 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.480 we're both adults and there's nothing I can really do 0:16:15.720 --> 0:16:19.680 except be like yo, uh, well it's it's a tricky 0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:24.040 subject in general, right because like you know, like we've 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:26.240 all we've all been we've all been in a situation 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:27.960 where like we have a friend, Like we have a 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:32.360 friend who's like dating somebody and we're like don't or 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:34.200 like they they'll say something to them and be like, 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.560 you don't fucking know about that. But like in your mind, 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:40.320 you're like, well, we're both adults, Like what what am 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:43.240 I gonna do? You know, I can't not you. You 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:46.200 kind of as an adult, you have your own you 0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:51.680 can decide to date, you know, whatever person you want 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:57.720 to fucking date. Although it's it's it's it is nice 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.000 to have. It is nice to have friends in people 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.440 in your core, you know. I you know, actually, I'm 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.920 rethinking actually a lot of the way that I think 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:07.719 about a situation like this, because I think I think 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.600 about it in like a hyper individualistic way, in like 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.720 a nothing you can do way, and there is a truth, 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.200 there's a lot there's a lot of truth to accepting 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:18.240 that there's nothing you can do. 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:19.080 But like. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.240 I don't know, I'm thinking about in my I'm thinking 0:17:23.240 --> 0:17:25.960 about in my life, both because I feel like I've 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:29.640 been in a situation where like I've been like seeing 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:32.120 someone y dating somebody, and my friend is like, yeah, 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:36.320 I don't know about this person. And so I've also 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:38.600 experienced the opposite where like my friend is seeing someone 0:17:38.720 --> 0:17:41.080 or dating someone and I'm like, yeah, I don't know 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:47.359 about this person from the perspective me personally in my life, 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:51.480 when I've been the friend of somebody dating someone where 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:53.879 I'm like, I don't know about this person, I feel 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.720 in my gut always like I wish so badly I 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:02.680 could just go off, you know, I wish so bad, 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:05.080 I wish so bad that I could just go off. 0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:07.800 But I also feel like I don't want to like 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:11.040 disrespect you, like I don't want to I don't want 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:13.400 to be like yo, this person is clearly a psychopath 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:17.040 and is clearly like abusive to you and clearly like whatever, 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:24.960 because you know, like I almost feel like I'm like, 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:33.159 am I undermining my friend's intelligence or am I disrespecting 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:36.280 their Yeah? Like I guess, like disrespecting their intelligence to 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:39.640 make their own decisions. But I'll say this on the 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:44.119 other side, where I've like been, you know before in 0:18:44.160 --> 0:18:47.720 my life seeing someone where my friends are like, you're 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:49.280 talking to someone where my friends are like, yeah, I 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.919 don't know about this person. I appreciate it, I like, 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.639 because I have a deep love and respect for my 0:18:56.720 --> 0:18:58.600 friends and the people close to me in my life, 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:03.720 and I I respect their opinions. I don't and I 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:05.760 don't I don't take the opinions of them or the 0:19:05.800 --> 0:19:08.800 opinion of anyone as like the word the God, the 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:11.159 Word of God and the Gospel as to how I 0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:13.840 should make my decisions in my life. But I personally, 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:17.720 I appreciate it. That's just me. I appreciate I want 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:24.800 to know my good friends' opinions. I want to know 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:30.080 my good friend's opinions about my life decisions only because 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:34.040 they're my friends. Are people who's like intelligence I I 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:40.720 and I really respect. Yeah, not necessarily, I might. They 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:42.840 might say something to me and I'd be like, yeahy, 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.359 you're probably right, but I'm gonna go you know. I mean, 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.200 it's a classic right, You're like, yeah, you're probably right, 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:49.639 but I'm gonna just go do whatever the fuck I 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:53.080 was gonna do anyway, you know, And that might happen. 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.800 So so so that's my ponder to you. As I was, 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:01.879 I was trying to think about the situation from like 0:20:02.000 --> 0:20:08.080 being on both sides of it. I don't have any advice, 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:09.080 but that's my ponder. 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:13.120 No, I've received the ponder. And also like the way 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:16.560 you break it down too, Like it's helpful to be like, okay, 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.800 like what is the core problem? Like, what is the 0:20:18.840 --> 0:20:22.320 main concern here? Yeah, that's the main you can tell 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:24.480 I'm going in ten different directions. 0:20:24.680 --> 0:20:26.360 Yeah, I mean that's the main concern. Where like whether 0:20:26.440 --> 0:20:29.960 or not I mean like you got your you know, 0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:33.760 your your debit card's fine. This is mainly uh yeah, 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:35.560 this is this is This all boils down to kind 0:20:35.560 --> 0:20:39.280 of a classic issue. There's also a thing though, I 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:42.320 think here, okay, here's one thing though. Here, here is 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:50.400 one thing, and I think, like we all and again 0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:52.479 I I this is something I feel like I've been 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:57.960 on both sides of and people can kind of relate to. 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:00.840 Is like all right, so like you know, like you're 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:05.080 like dating okay, like from okay, from both sides, Like 0:21:05.200 --> 0:21:14.200 your friend constantly complains to you about their relationship at 0:21:14.240 --> 0:21:16.240 a and you kind of talk it through with them. 0:21:16.920 --> 0:21:20.359 At a certain point, you got to be like, yo, listen, 0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:23.960 you can't talk to me about this anymore because we've 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:26.560 done We've done this eighty thousand times. And I don't 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:30.200 know if your friend is complaining to you about her. 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:33.159 Husband's she's not at all. 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:35.040 Actually she's not at all. Okay, all right, So that's 0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:36.440 a different thing. 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:39.920 Yeah, like a little protective of him almost sure, which 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:41.600 is why I give five. 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:45.400 Yeah, but there's nothing you can It does all boil 0:21:45.480 --> 0:21:47.479 down to there's nothing you can fucking do you know? 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:49.200 Yeah? True? 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:51.240 And it's like, just like how much do I want 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:54.359 to risk like the friendship in like expressing concern for her? 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:56.760 Because I think there's an element of like I'm risking 0:21:56.760 --> 0:22:01.480 my friendship for her when I us if and when 0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:04.879 I express my concern because she might be offended that 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:08.320 I to accuse her new husband of something like that. 0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:11.679 But I'm like, do I value our friendship more and 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:14.640 like continuing to maintain this connection and just being there 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:17.680 for her for like more of a safety concern or 0:22:17.720 --> 0:22:20.280 am I like more immediately concerned right now and think 0:22:20.320 --> 0:22:22.040 that this is the time I should say something. 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:24.080 Mmm. 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:27.280 But that's just the thing to ponder. 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:29.800 I guess it is a thing to put I'm trying. 0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:34.440 I'm actually I'm genuinely trying to think about that because 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:36.640 that's that's a tough situation right there. 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:39.960 And I guess that one we look down to like 0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:42.439 how deep is this? How deep is this one with 0:22:42.480 --> 0:22:44.640 my debit card? 0:22:50.680 --> 0:22:55.080 Yeah? I think look, I mean, look, if here's the thing, 0:22:55.760 --> 0:23:00.280