WEBVTT - How to play big, with Tara Mohr 0:00:02.960 --> 0:00:09.280 Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:14.840 This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:17.720 episode is going to be a slightly longer one part 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:20.440 of the series where I interview fascinating people about how 0:00:20.440 --> 0:00:22.840 they take their days from great to awesome and any 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:25.560 advice they have for the rest of us. So today 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.320 I am delighted to welcome Tara Moore to Before Breakfast. 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:31.560 Tara is a speaker, a coach, and the author of 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.440 the book Playing Big. So Tara, welcome to the show. 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:36.160 Thank you, thank you for having me. 0:00:36.800 --> 0:00:38.440 I'm excited to have you here. Why don't you tell 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.040 our listeners a little bit about yourself? 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:40.879 Sure? 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:47.120 Well, I am a very busy in the Sandwich generation person. 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:50.320 I am an only child of two aging parents. I'm 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:54.960 a mom of three kids. I'm a business owner and 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:59.200 leader of a team and kind of the steward and 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:02.800 host of a community of many thousands of women that 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:06.800 are working on playing Bigger. So I feel like in 0:01:06.800 --> 0:01:09.640 this phase of my life sometimes my to do list 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:12.800 is organized by like stakeholder groups. 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:13.600 Of my life. 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.039 For the first this is the first phase of my 0:01:16.080 --> 0:01:19.680 life where it's ever been really like that, and I'm 0:01:19.720 --> 0:01:26.240 really passionate about how our inner lives can either shape 0:01:26.319 --> 0:01:30.120 our outer lives or really help us cope better with 0:01:30.160 --> 0:01:35.280 what the outer world and its external circumstances are bringing us. 0:01:36.319 --> 0:01:38.200 And so that's really where I like to work at, 0:01:38.280 --> 0:01:43.520 that intersection of our internal space and then what we 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:45.520 bring forward into the world. 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:49.720 So what does it mean to play big? 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:54.840 My definition of playing big is that it means being 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.680 more loyal to your dreams than. 0:01:57.560 --> 0:01:58.360 To your fears. 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:02.000 So a lot of people will hear the term playing 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:06.280 big and have kind of a mixed reaction like, ooh, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.440 there's a part of me that would love to play bigger, 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:10.520 there's a part of me that knows I'm playing small. 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:15.000 And then there's another aspect to their reaction of like 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:19.560 that sounds exhausting, That sounds like being a big, puffed 0:02:19.639 --> 0:02:23.320 up ego and playing politics and going for the world 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:28.679 screwed up ideas about success. So it's really an internal definition, 0:02:28.960 --> 0:02:30.919 you know, And I find for me my own playing 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:35.079 big edges, which I also always still struggle with. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:35.360 You know. 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:37.920 I think we teach what we need to learn, and 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:41.239 I've had my own ways of being stuck and playing small. 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:43.800 So a playing big edge for me could be am 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:45.760 I going to write what I really think today? Or 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:47.400 the safe thing? Am I going to speak up in 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:49.240 the meeting? Am I going to be a people pleaser? 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:53.120 Or not in this relationship? You know, it's all that stuff. 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:56.440 And why I mean, are those all the reasons people 0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:59.840 don't play big? I mean? Are people worried about what 0:02:59.880 --> 0:03:00.959 the world will think of them? 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.080 So if you think of playing big as being loyal 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:07.680 to our dreams, that's very vulnerable. 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:08.400 You know. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.400 It means we have to be authentic. We usually what 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.840 we really want for our lives or our careers is 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:18.040 probably a bit different from what our family or friends 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.640 are up to, what they think we should be up to, 0:03:21.240 --> 0:03:23.680 So we kind of have to trust ourselves and stand 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:27.520 alone in having faith in those dreams. 0:03:27.560 --> 0:03:29.200 And so that's hard. 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.960 That's hard. And then there's social reasons. A lot of 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:36.400 my work has focused on helping women play bigger and 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:41.480 visible women. Powerful women tend to get a lot of 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:46.200 push back in our culture and are often treated quite unfairly. 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:50.640 So there's also this social layer to very legitimate fears 0:03:50.640 --> 0:03:52.840 that can come up, but still fears that we might 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:54.960 not want to have running us in our lives. 0:03:56.080 --> 0:03:59.240 Yeah, so what would be sort of an example of 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.640 playing bigger, Like somebody is, you know, kind of going 0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:05.680 through life and you know, doing their job, raising their 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:09.040 family and that sort of normal circumstances. What would it 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.080 mean for us to think about playing bigger? 0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.440 Yeah, well, it can look a lot of different ways. 0:04:13.480 --> 0:04:18.400 But one example might be I have this idea that 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.960 I want to paint, and I used to love art 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.400 when I was a kid, and then I got talked 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:27.040 out of that, told it wasn't a serious thing, or 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:29.280 I got told by that fourth grade teacher I didn't 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:31.760 really know how to paint, and I never touched again. 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:35.680 And maybe for that person, playing big is signing up 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.080 for the art class, or maybe they've already been painting 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:41.000 but not showing anyone, and the playing big is I'm 0:04:41.000 --> 0:04:43.560 gonna approach a local gallery and see if I could 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:45.520 have a show, because that would feel so good. So 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.240 playing big could look like that. It could look like 0:04:48.360 --> 0:04:50.640 I want to write a book that tells my story 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:54.400 of something significant I've been through in my life. It 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.880 could look like I want to pitch a different job 0:04:56.920 --> 0:04:59.359 at work. I see a role that our company is missing. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:02.440 Could be I want to ask for the pay rise 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.160 that I think I deserve, and for someone else it 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:08.359 could be I'm going to turn down a promotion because 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.640 I've always been on the treadmill and my playing big 0:05:11.920 --> 0:05:14.960 is realizing i actually want a slower pace of life 0:05:15.000 --> 0:05:18.640 and I'm not going to be run by whatever society's 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.840 telling me. The next rung on the ladder is. So 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.359 those are some examples of the range of ways it 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:24.760 can look. 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:29.160 And your book Playing Big, one of the things you 0:05:29.400 --> 0:05:32.960 talk about as you're trying to move into this world 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:36.160 where you are playing bigger is to consult your inner mentor. 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:39.320 So what is an inner mentor? And why is this person, 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.680 whoever he or she is worth consulting. 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:48.919 Yeah, So this has been one of the most remarkable, moving, 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:54.880 joyful parts of coaching for me for the past I've 0:05:54.920 --> 0:06:00.000 been helping people find their inner mentors now for seventeen years, 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:04.200 pretty much consistently for seventeen years. So I've seen thousands 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:10.120 of people go through this process and it is pretty 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:15.760 universally transformative for people. And what it is is it 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:20.080 mean it's all about just simply doing a guided visualization 0:06:20.400 --> 0:06:24.840 meditation that anyone can access online. We can maybe share 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:30.560 a link with people. And in that guided in that 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:36.440 guided visualization, you let your mind, and not your everyday 0:06:36.480 --> 0:06:39.880 thinking mind, but your kind of imaginal right brain when 0:06:39.920 --> 0:06:44.440 you're super relaxed as you get in this meditation, you 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:48.080 let that part of your creative mind bring you a 0:06:48.120 --> 0:06:51.920 sense of your older, wiser self, so yourself way out 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.520 into the future. And it's kind of like we all 0:06:55.600 --> 0:07:00.600 have this inner elder that we might not have accessed 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:06.039 before but is actually very much there. And it's not Yoda, 0:07:06.760 --> 0:07:10.680 and it's not your grandma. It's you, older and wiser, 0:07:11.120 --> 0:07:16.080 and so it is an authentic expression of your unique self, 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:19.600 and it has guidance that's right for you. It's not 0:07:19.760 --> 0:07:23.920 somebody else's guidance that is a general prescription or what 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.080 they think you should be doing. And so once people 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.280 get a sense of that figure, they have a different 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:35.720 kind of north star for what they're becoming. And they 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:41.120 also have this internal mentor that they can consult with 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.360 and really check in. How would she handle this, how 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:47.920 would she move through the same situation, even down to 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:50.720 the very granular, how would she write this email? How 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:53.440 does she structure her time before breakfast? How does she 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.960 move her body? What does she make herself for lunch 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:01.440 and kind of micro decision by decision, we can find 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:06.560 a more authentic, fulfilling life using that north star. 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.320 Well, I imagine one of the upsides of your inner mentors 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:13.120 is he or she is available twenty four to seven too, right, 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.920 which is your If many people have helpful outer mentors, 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:19.960 you know other people in their organizations or friends or 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:22.120 family or whatever have served as mentors. But that person 0:08:22.880 --> 0:08:25.160 isn't there telling you, you know, how to write that 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:26.200 email all the time. 0:08:26.520 --> 0:08:31.160 She's available all the time whenever you can, whenever you 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.199 can slow down enough to be quiet to hear her 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:38.640 and open to her guidance. She also has the guidance 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:44.160 that's customized for you. And you know, our outer mentors 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:48.359 can do a lot of the tactical functions of mentorship, 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:50.480 the introductions, the opportunities. 0:08:51.480 --> 0:08:55.719 But sometimes I think a lot of mentors. 0:08:55.440 --> 0:09:00.240 Lack a skill to differentiate between the stories from their 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.320 own lives. Yeah, here's what I did and what worked 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.320 for me, But what is that the right path for you? 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:07.200 Let me ask you a question that would help you 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.160 discern if it is a lot of mentors don't have 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:13.079 that second skill set to not just extrapolate and especially 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:16.760 for women, where with every decade we're kind of presented 0:09:16.800 --> 0:09:19.520 with a new context and a new societal context. A 0:09:19.520 --> 0:09:22.320 lot of times the person who went through something thirty 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:28.800 years before doesn't really have quite the relevant prescription for us. 0:09:30.080 --> 0:09:31.760 Well, we're going to take a quick ad break and 0:09:31.800 --> 0:09:41.200 then i'll be back with more from Taramore. Well, I 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:45.360 am back talking with Taramore, who is a speaker, a coach, 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:49.199 the author of the book Playing Big. So another one 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.840 of your tips. Once we've done our found our inner 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:57.080 mentor we want to unhook from criticism and praise. Now 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.720 what does that mean practically in our lives? 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.240 Yeah, So, what I found in my coaching work is 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:06.320 that a lot of people who they wanted to pursue 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:09.400 some kind of playing big dream right to start the business, 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:13.200 write the book, go for the bigger role, and they 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:17.240 were coming up against a wall that had to do 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.760 with their relationship to praise or criticism. And so that 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:22.920 could look like I want to write the book, but 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.760 I know it's going to be controversial, or I'm in 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.439 this senior role now and I just have to make 0:10:28.559 --> 0:10:31.880 really tough calls that not everyone is going to like. 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:36.840 Or I know I should be marketing myself more in 0:10:36.880 --> 0:10:39.200 my business and being more visible, but that feels like 0:10:39.240 --> 0:10:41.319 it involves a lot of rejection and failure because I 0:10:41.360 --> 0:10:45.120 put things out and they don't. They don't necessarily land. 0:10:45.800 --> 0:10:49.120 So in all these different ways, I kept seeing like 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.880 all of these clients to get to their goals, they 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:57.320 have to transform their relationship to praise and criticism to 0:10:57.400 --> 0:11:01.120 the world's response to them. Most of us are taking 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.960 it way too personally. We're going on an emotional rollercoaster 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:08.640 with it. We're letting it get us stuck. And the 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.920 big reframe that I talk about in the book is 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:15.680 this idea that feedback doesn't tell you about you. It 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.000 tells you about the person who's giving the feedback. And 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.160 that doesn't mean that we dismiss it or throw it 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:23.880 out the window because we need it. But we're really 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:26.960 learning when we post something as an entrepreneur and it 0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.240 gets no response, we're learning not whether we're we're the 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:33.600 entrepreneur or not, but we're learning about our audience. And 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.720 if we pitch something to leadership at our company, their 0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:41.080 response is illuminating something about them, and that allows us 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:45.560 to start to use feedback as this strategically useful but 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:51.600 emotionally neutral information, and that's crucial for really getting to 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:52.360 our playing big. 0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:56.400 And I can see how people would get that point 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.719 with criticism. I mean, you know, many of us need 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:01.439 a tougher skin, need to let it roll off our backs, 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:05.840 as people say. But the same thing goes for praise, correct, 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.480 I mean, praise is not necessarily any more helpful. 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:13.920 Right because let's say, Laura, you write a substock article 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.560 and it gets lots of great feedback and you're like, 0:12:17.679 --> 0:12:21.560 few I passed today, you know, like today went well, 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.320 and that's what most of us do. It's like, oh good, 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:28.080 that felt good. Moving on, a couple things are problematic 0:12:28.080 --> 0:12:32.440 about that. We know from research that actually praise does 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:38.240 not increase our confidence. It actually makes us more risk averse, 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:43.360 because we become nervous about doing things that will disprove 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:47.360 the praise or won't earn us the praise. Caroldrex research 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.960 on mindset and on growth mindset shows us this. Those 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:55.440 effects tend to be the most pronounced for high achieving girls, 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:58.800 and I think they also really especially affect high achieving women. 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.240 But also so think about all the learning that was 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:05.440 missed there, because when we go oh few, okay, good, 0:13:05.600 --> 0:13:08.160 that went well. If that felt good, we don't say 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:11.240 why did that resonate, why did that get a response? 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:14.480 What's potentially replicable about that? Because we're forgetting to look 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:19.719 at it as information about that other party. So we 0:13:19.800 --> 0:13:23.480 don't want our confidence or our motivation to depend on 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.079 the world's reception to us. But we do want to 0:13:26.120 --> 0:13:31.280 keep paying attention to the learnings in both the seemingly 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:35.880 less positive and seemingly you know, more positive reactions. They're 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:39.679 both full of crucial information for us. 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.080 Yeah, I've learned the crucial information that everyone wants to 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.240 click on a story called fourteen things you can do 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:46.960 this weekend to save you time all year. 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:52.640 Now we know the number are kind of like they're 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:53.640 a regular winner. 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.959 Yeah, they're a winner that everyone every every post needs 0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:01.400 to be some version of that. Speaking of putting things 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.360 out in the world, I mean another thing you recommend 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:06.160 in playing big is taking some sort of leap. So 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.160 we've got some big idea we want to we want 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:10.880 to play bigger. But rather than think like, oh, I'm 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.240 going to write a book necessarily, or I'm going to 0:14:13.400 --> 0:14:17.120 change careers or whatever it is, to do something smaller 0:14:17.160 --> 0:14:18.880 that you can test out. Can you talk a little 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:19.320 bit about that. 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:21.920 Yes, yes, And this is great for people who are 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:26.560 interested in time management because one of the ways that 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:30.040 we can really waste time while convincing ourselves we're using 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:34.000 our time really well is to do these kind of long, 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:39.040 multi month or in many cases, multi year preparation get 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:43.640 researching something, you know, writing the full eighty page business plan, 0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:47.680 writing the full manuscript before we've tested things out in 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:51.480 the world. And you know, I live in Silicon Valley 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.080 now where it's become much more the practice of how 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:57.479 companies are built to do these quick cycles of experimentation 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.880 where we learn what lands with an audience, We learn 0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:04.640 what works through these scrappy, rapid experiments. But that kind 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:06.600 of thinking hasn't made it to a lot of other 0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.160 corners of the world yet, even though it's so valuable. So, yeah, 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:14.040 if you want to write a book, test some ideas 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:17.480 and some short essays first, you're going to learn so much. 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:23.200 And from a sort of personal fulfillment perspective, you have 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.400 a lot more opportunity to get the juice, like the 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.440 good joy, self expression juice that you think is going 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:31.520 to come from writing a book. You can get that 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.880 this week by writing that essay on a substack, right, 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.920 or if you you know, a lot of times people 0:15:37.960 --> 0:15:39.360 will have a dream like I want to build an 0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:42.720 amazing retreat center for parents, or I want to have 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.600 a retail store that does X Y, and like rent 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:49.720 that retreat center for one weekend first, or use your 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.680 living room and make it a one evening event. So 0:15:53.040 --> 0:15:55.480 I always encourage people, what can you do in the 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:59.160 next one to two weeks that gets you and the 0:15:59.160 --> 0:16:01.920 work you want to do in contact with an audience, 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:05.480 and then treat that as an experiment that has a 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:08.200 learning goal. It's not about how many people come into 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.760 the room, but did you resolve some of your unknowns 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:13.280 through that process? 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:16.160 And is there a way you might think of one 0:16:16.200 --> 0:16:18.200 of these leaps in more of a like corporate or 0:16:18.240 --> 0:16:21.960 organizational context. Let's say somebody has sort of a normal 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:24.880 white collar of job and is thinking of sort of 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.280 raising their platform within their organization. What might be an 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.760 example of a leap you could take in that context? 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:34.200 Yeah, I mean so many. In fact, sometimes in those 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:36.480 contexts it's hard to do it's harder to do things 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:38.920 the bigger, longer way. But it could be you know 0:16:39.040 --> 0:16:42.520 I want to develop thought leadership in this area. I'm 0:16:42.600 --> 0:16:44.880 going to do one post about it this week, maybe 0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:47.120 on my company's internal message board. I'm going to host 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.440 a brown bag lunch this week and teach about that topic. 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:53.360 The thing I was thinking of pitching to my boss 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.160 as a big initiative. What would be the two week 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.040 experiment we could run to get some initial feedback on 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:00.040 it and pitch that. 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.000 I love it. Well, We're going to take one more 0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:04.760 quick ad break and then I'll be back with more 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:14.960 from Taramore. Well, I am back talking with Taramore, who 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.480 is the author of the book Playing Big. I know 0:17:17.520 --> 0:17:19.200 you have a lot of different things on your plate 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:21.960 these days. What's kind of your business mix at the moment? 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.000 What are you putting out in the world right now? 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:27.600 Yeah, So I continue to teach the Playing Big course, 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.320 which is for women who want to play bigger in 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:35.720 their lives and work. Then we also have many coaches, therapists, managers, 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.960 mentors who want to be trained in the Playing Big 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.680 coaching model to use it in their work, and so 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:45.679 teach that. I also teach sort of my take on 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:48.080 coaching skills through a different course. So we have a 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:54.440 really wonderful, robust online education business. And then I continue 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.919 to do corporate speaking, and then I'm working on a 0:17:57.960 --> 0:17:59.040 new book as well. 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:03.360 Exciting. Well, we're looking forward to that for sure. What 0:18:03.400 --> 0:18:05.320 does your schedule tend to look like? Oh? 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:08.640 LORDI Laura LRDI you knew I was getting there. Yeah. 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.480 Well, first of all, I mean you got a picture. 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:14.200 I call our house the campus because we have two 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:19.280 work at home parents, we have three homeschooled children, we 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:23.720 have an unruly dog, and then those are all the beings, 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:32.120 and so I find it critical whenever I can. I 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:35.160 like to be up, you know, an hour to two 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:39.200 before the kids, and I find that usually the most 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:43.440 important cognitive and creative work of the day happens. Then 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:49.800 then that allows me to feel unrushed when they wake up. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:53.480 That because I'm very much a morning brain. So if 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:55.920 I'm being a morning brain and I spend the first 0:18:56.040 --> 0:19:02.920 hour of the day reading picture books and pouring apple juices, 0:19:03.160 --> 0:19:05.080 I start to get kind of antsy. But if I've 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.000 already gotten those two hours in, I'm like ready for that. 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:12.199 And then yeah, I keep for the most part, I 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.840 keep things free of meetings until about eleven am, so 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:18.920 I can continue to write and do that heavier kind 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:24.400 of in the document's work, and then meetings called teaching 0:19:25.520 --> 0:19:30.080 tends to happen midday early afternoon. Usually some kind of 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:35.000 workout gets slotted in there, depending on the day, and 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.800 then by the afternoon, I'm you know, schlepping around to 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:40.200 karate and chorus and things like that. 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:43.840 And you mentioned your kids are homeschooling. How does that 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:45.560 fit in with the schedule with all that. 0:19:46.160 --> 0:19:52.639 They they are, Well, my elementary age and my junior 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:58.040 high are pretty self sufficient with that. Each kid has 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:01.320 their own Google calendar, they have their schedule varies quite 0:20:01.320 --> 0:20:04.560 a bit day to day because of the nature of homeschooling, 0:20:05.320 --> 0:20:09.120 and so they're moving between classes that they do online, 0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:12.960 classes in the community. Learning activities that we do with 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:16.359 them pieced into all of that. And we have a 0:20:16.400 --> 0:20:21.720 really wonderful childcare helper too, who's you know, making sure 0:20:21.760 --> 0:20:25.520 all that happens when we're working and dealing with transportation 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:27.680 needs that happened earlier in the day and stuff like that. 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:28.920 Yeah, excellent. 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.280 I'm always fascinated by families who managed to do working 0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:35.080 in homeschooling simultaneously. It's like one of those wonderful things 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:37.840 of time that works in ways people don't always appreciate it. Yes, 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:40.200 and these are things that can in fact fit together. 0:20:40.440 --> 0:20:41.480 Yeah, it can. 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:45.159 It's a little bit of a jigsaw puzzle, but it 0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:45.880 definitely can. 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:48.919 And since you are a morning person, I mean, is 0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:50.800 there anything in addition to the work that's part of 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:52.360 like your morning routine, Like do you have any sort 0:20:52.359 --> 0:20:54.600 of things that make you in the mood to work 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:56.680 in the morning or is it just straight up shoot 0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:57.760 the coffee, go for it. 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:00.760 I always pray before I get up, you know, before 0:21:00.760 --> 0:21:04.159 I even get out of bed, So I and I like, 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:08.880 in the morning, my prayer is more like turning over 0:21:08.960 --> 0:21:12.400 the day to a higher power than myself and asking 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:17.639 that higher power to guide the day and kind of 0:21:17.680 --> 0:21:22.359 setting my own intention to be in a listening mode 0:21:22.600 --> 0:21:25.480 and a co creation mode with that larger force through 0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:30.400 the day. And then at the end of the day, 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:35.639 the prayer is more like, well, it's kind of a 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:37.680 quick review of the day, like is there anything I 0:21:37.720 --> 0:21:38.760 want to apologize for? 0:21:39.480 --> 0:21:39.960 Is there. 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:44.639 Like any yeah, amends that needs to be made? Is 0:21:44.680 --> 0:21:46.720 there are other places where I feel like I really 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:50.080 missed the mark? What do I want to remember with 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:52.960 gratitude from the day and savor. It's more like that. 0:21:54.359 --> 0:21:54.840 I love it. 0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:57.800 I love it. So I always ask my guests, what 0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:00.199 is something you have done recently to take a day 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:01.480 from great to awesome? 0:22:02.280 --> 0:22:05.320 Such a great question. A few things come to mind. 0:22:05.400 --> 0:22:07.400 I mean one, I think one of the most reliable 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:09.560 ways for me to do that is to move my body, 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:14.760 and that just wakes me up, brings clarity, brings endorphins. 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:21.000 So I love to dance, I love to lift weights, 0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:23.000 and I love to walk, and now I walk with 0:22:23.040 --> 0:22:26.560 a weighted vest too, which just gives me a little 0:22:26.600 --> 0:22:29.240 more like oomph out of a walk. 0:22:31.960 --> 0:22:33.080 So that's number one. 0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:37.680 I also really love exchanging voice memos with good friends. 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.840 You know, we call it our podcast episodes because we 0:22:40.880 --> 0:22:42.720 can get on there and we talk for twenty minutes. 0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:48.760 But in this you know, family family working phase of life, 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:52.160 it's quite hard to get a synchronous forty five minutes 0:22:52.240 --> 0:22:55.560