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Speaker 1: All right here it is. It's that time, Shirley Strawberry

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Speaker 1: when a Strawberry little subject. Four years later, I'm still

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Speaker 1: his girlfriend. Yeah, Juniors on one today, Dear Stephen, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: I'm stuck. I've read your book, Steve, and I've been

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Speaker 1: with my boyfriend for four years. In the four years,

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Speaker 1: we've bought a home and had lots of beautiful vacations together.

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Speaker 1: Were under thirty years old, and we have a solid relationship.

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Speaker 1: He provides, protects and professes his love for me. So

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Speaker 1: why after four years I still don't have an engagement ring.

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Speaker 1: I haven't given him my all yet because there are

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Speaker 1: certain benefits that only a wife can give to her husband.

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Speaker 1: He's not my husband. I never feel bad for reminding

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Speaker 1: him when he complains about me holding back. When I

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Speaker 1: drop hints about us moving to the next step in

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Speaker 1: our relationship, he says that I'm going to have to

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Speaker 1: be patient, and ussuring him is not good. I was

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Speaker 1: furious this summer when he went out and bought a

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Speaker 1: jet ski for over two thousand dollars. That was money

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Speaker 1: he could have used on my diamond ring. I get

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Speaker 1: with my girlfriends and they make me feel even worse

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Speaker 1: and put even more pressure on me for not having

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Speaker 1: a ring yet. Our wedding colors are picked out, we

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Speaker 1: have a church and reception place in mind. We have

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Speaker 1: talked about who we'd want in our bridal power party,

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Speaker 1: and we picked out a beautiful honeymoon location. Am I

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Speaker 1: overthinking this and stressing myself for no reason? Should I

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Speaker 1: just give it time and or or leave him now

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Speaker 1: and stop putting my life on hold? He should know

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Speaker 1: by now what he wants. Please help me? Well, I

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Speaker 1: mean apparently he doesn't know right now, or he's not

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Speaker 1: ready right now, or if he was ready right now,

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Speaker 1: he would have done it. I mean, you guys lived together.

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Speaker 1: You've made purchases together, major purchases like a house. That's

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Speaker 1: what married people do. Uh. You guys go on vacation together.

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Speaker 1: You all may as well be mayor ead. I mean

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Speaker 1: you you do all the things that that that married

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Speaker 1: people do, um without the benefits meaning the ring and

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Speaker 1: the mrs and all of that that you desperately want.

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Speaker 1: What I'm saying is, uh, why are you doing all

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Speaker 1: this and you're not his wife? Why? I mean, where

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Speaker 1: is his incentive to marry you right now? He's still young?

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Speaker 1: You guys are both still under thirty years old. You're saying,

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Speaker 1: you say you have a solid relationship, but you're not

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Speaker 1: getting what you want. You say, he provides, he professes

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Speaker 1: and protects, like Steve says in the book. But you

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Speaker 1: guys have bought a home together. So you're feeling like

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Speaker 1: the next step is marriage. You're already like a wife

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Speaker 1: to him. Um, you're gonna have to pull up a

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Speaker 1: little bit um or or maybe in his case, put

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Speaker 1: out a little bit. I don't know. You're saying you're

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Speaker 1: holding back. You didn't, you weren't specific. But by holding back,

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Speaker 1: do you mean you're not having sex with him? But

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Speaker 1: you guys have bought a house together. This just this

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Speaker 1: is not making sense to me. I was just gonna

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Speaker 1: say that, Steve, this is not making sense to me. Uh,

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Speaker 1: he's definitely not ready. You guys are young, under thirty.

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Speaker 1: He still has some more fun to have. Uh with

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Speaker 1: his over two thousand dollar jet ski. You know he

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Speaker 1: wants to play on that some more. You didn't say it,

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Speaker 1: but the holding back part that that is a big

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Speaker 1: puzzle in here. You've left a lot out. So so

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Speaker 1: if you're ready now and he's not, Um, you guys,

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Speaker 1: you are stuck because you bought a major purchase with him,

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Speaker 1: so you know, to get him to marry you is

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Speaker 1: going to be a struggle. Now. I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: take your equity out and move on. You know, that's

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Speaker 1: one option that you have. But I don't think you

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Speaker 1: want to do that. I think you want what you want,

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Speaker 1: but the timing is just not right. Steve. If you've

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Speaker 1: been with a man for four years and you live

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Speaker 1: with him, and you alden bought a house, there's a

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Speaker 1: thing called common law marriage, so you're entitled to everything

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Speaker 1: that a wife is a title to. At this point,

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Speaker 1: now you're asking this letter. In four years, we bought

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Speaker 1: a home, had lots of beautiful vacations together. We're under

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Speaker 1: thirty years old. I got a salary lady. He provides,

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Speaker 1: protects and professes his love with me. So why after

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Speaker 1: four years do I still not have an engagement ring.

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Speaker 1: You're missing? He hasn't professed it fully. He protects for you,

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Speaker 1: he provides for you. But the professing part is you

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Speaker 1: thought in the book I said he that that That

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Speaker 1: means that a man says he loves you. No, I

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Speaker 1: explain to you how we lay claim to women, how

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Speaker 1: we claim you all as ours, not in terms of property.

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Speaker 1: But I'm just saying how we make you mind? We

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Speaker 1: we we make you my hours with titles. Now you

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Speaker 1: don't have the title you want. Now you want to know,

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Speaker 1: if you want to know, if you're overthinking this. No,

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Speaker 1: you're over thinking this. But you all, ladies, you keep

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Speaker 1: making the same mistake over and over and over. See,

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Speaker 1: y'all keep doing married duties without having the man purchase

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Speaker 1: them or pay for them. You're doing all the wifely duties,

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Speaker 1: but he ain't got to do nothing to get them.

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Speaker 1: All he gotta do is move in with you, sleep

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Speaker 1: with you. It's it's gotta be more to that. See,

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Speaker 1: here's why you all keep stuck. Why after four years

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Speaker 1: don't I have engagement rings? I haven't given him all

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Speaker 1: yet because there are certain benefits that only a wife

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Speaker 1: can give to a husband. He's not my husband. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know why you put that in there. You

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Speaker 1: all in, y'all sleeping together. All right, when we come back,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you what's wrong here. I have the

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Speaker 1: answer for you. All right. Four years later, this girl

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Speaker 1: is mad because she's still a dude's boyfriend and they've

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Speaker 1: been together four years. They don't bought a house together.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, girlfriend bought a house together. Beautiful vacations day

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Speaker 1: under thirty. She says, he provides, protect and professes his

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Speaker 1: love for me. When a man professes his love with

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Speaker 1: you is not just I love you. It comes with titles.

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Speaker 1: It's like promotions. So why after four years don't I

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Speaker 1: still have an engagement ring because you haven't required one yet.

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Speaker 1: You have not required an engagement for these actions to occur. Now,

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Speaker 1: see the mistake. Like I told you that y'all keep doing,

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Speaker 1: is y'all keep doing all these married duties without him

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Speaker 1: having to purchase the married duties. Now, whatever it is

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Speaker 1: you're talking about you holding back in this letter, it

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Speaker 1: obviously it ain't enough to make him marry you. So

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Speaker 1: whatever you're holding back, he good. I just thought i'd

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Speaker 1: bring that up. That's a great. Yeah, he's not my husband.

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Speaker 1: I never feel bad for reminding him when he complains.

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Speaker 1: And then she talked my head so and then she says,

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Speaker 1: I haven't given him my all yet because there are

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Speaker 1: certain benefits that only a wife can give to her husband.

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Speaker 1: He's not my husband. Mhm. Like I said, I don't

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Speaker 1: know what you're holding back. Obviously, whatever you're holding back

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Speaker 1: ain't enough for him to say, Hey, marry me so

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Speaker 1: I can get the rest of this m You're already

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Speaker 1: given plenty. Yeah, So why don't I have an engagement

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Speaker 1: ring yet? You're ready? Because he has everything he wants

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Speaker 1: all ready. He don't need to give you a ring.

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Speaker 1: He has what he wants. Can we be okay with that?

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Speaker 1: I mean, this is an open and shut case to me. Now,

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Speaker 1: your your problem is when I drop hints about moving

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Speaker 1: to the next step in our relationship, he says that

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to be patient, and pressuring him is

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Speaker 1: not good. It's not good for him, So don't pressure him. See, ladies,

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Speaker 1: you can get a lot more of what you want

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Speaker 1: by just pressuring yourself. You don't have to pressure man.

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Speaker 1: If a man ain't good with it, just say hey, look,

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Speaker 1: let me step to the side until you decide what

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Speaker 1: you really want to do. Because I'm not playing the

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Speaker 1: house with you anymore. So now I ain't pressuring you.

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Speaker 1: You can you can stay here in this house I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need. I'm not paying no more money on this thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm and I won't and I want to sell it

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Speaker 1: because I want my hat back out. And you're not

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Speaker 1: sleeping with me no more in that bed right there,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not cooking no more food. It ain't no problem.

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Speaker 1: I'm not pressuring you. You don't have to ask me

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Speaker 1: to marry you. But I'm gonna stop sitting up in

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Speaker 1: here acting like we're married and then you never give

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Speaker 1: me what I want. I'm going to my mama's house.

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Speaker 1: Call me when you want to go to the next

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Speaker 1: level now that most women are not gonna do because

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Speaker 1: they're afraid of losing them. Man, but you ain't. You

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Speaker 1: don't have the one. You won't right now. And it's

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Speaker 1: so terrible because they have this major purchase together. They

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Speaker 1: have a house together. Yeah right, but you can get

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Speaker 1: out of that. No, that's yours. I'm telling you the

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Speaker 1: woman gonna win and that you ain't cheated on the dude,

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Speaker 1: nothing like that, or he's gonna lose. He gotta get

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Speaker 1: the house up. Now that's your house and he'll be

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Speaker 1: paying for Oh my god, preaching, Steve, Yeah, you woke up, Jake.

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Speaker 1: He preaching one hunt one hundred and one. What do

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Speaker 1: you know about this, Jake? I've lost some houses who

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Speaker 1: she community with, the houses I've locked She mad because

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Speaker 1: this food and went out bought a jet ski for

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Speaker 1: over two thousand dollars, and she talked about this money

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Speaker 1: he could have used on my diamond rings I get

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Speaker 1: with my girlfriends. They make me feel even worse, putting

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Speaker 1: more pressure on me for not having a ring. Our

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Speaker 1: wedding colors are picked out. He didn't done at all.

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Speaker 1: He lets you pick out the wedding colors. He let

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Speaker 1: you talk about your church reception place in mind. You

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Speaker 1: don't talking about brider party. You didn't picked out a

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Speaker 1: honeymoon location. But you're talking about this all you want?

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Speaker 1: Quit pressure me. You want to plane it, plan it

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Speaker 1: where you want to go. We're going her girlfriends? You

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Speaker 1: played man, So baby, what you're gonna do about flowers? Though?

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Speaker 1: They're gonna have nice? Just a re enactment. It would

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Speaker 1: be doing and were in acting this the hus You

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Speaker 1: want to get married? Hey? Baby, aw you doing? What's

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Speaker 1: going on? You got some wedding books I need you

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Speaker 1: to look at? Yeah? What about this color here? I love?

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Speaker 1: Future like yeah, yeah, yeah, that's cool, future cool? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And how about how about we're gonna work on our

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Speaker 1: dance because you know me and my daddy at the reception,

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Speaker 1: Me and my daddy gonna do a little dance and

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Speaker 1: then you and I do a first dance, So you

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Speaker 1: want to work on that later on the night to dance.

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Speaker 1: I could you know? How only is your you know

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Speaker 1: your daddy might not m Now that was about the

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Speaker 1: dance lessons. What's happening? What about d and oh your

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Speaker 1: daddy going damn? You better fix it. Yeah, you better

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Speaker 1: straighten that up because if you don't, I can call

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Speaker 1: it wedding off. Now what don't make me? Don't make

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Speaker 1: me call up these plans because I do, daddy? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: your whole as this is upsetting my spirit. Really you're

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Speaker 1: gonna call it wedding off? Well that's what you want

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Speaker 1: to do, then I guess it's just off. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that was quick. You know what I'm doing this? Oh cool?

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Speaker 1: Don al right, guys, we gotta get out of here.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for that reenactment. Email us your Instagram. That's

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Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter at Steve Harvey f

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Speaker 1: M or at my Girls Shirley. You're listening to Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Show