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Speaker 1: Radio. Radio radiois a myth and bullshit radio phonic novella

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Speaker 1: local radio hosted by Malamnola La locomotives. Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: local radio. Welcome back, Welcome back. This is Mala and

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Speaker 1: this is Diosan and as always we are last locals

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Speaker 1: recording here in Boil Heights at ESPA eighteen thirty nine,

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Speaker 1: Radio Spasio. Thank you for joining us, Thank you for

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Speaker 1: joining us. Quick shout out to Radopas nine. We have

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Speaker 1: new mic, We got new equipment. Aren't they beautiful? For

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Speaker 1: those on the YouTube who can see, they're gorgeous. We're

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Speaker 1: so happy they're here. You know, the other mics, they

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Speaker 1: got the job done. They were a little old, kind

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Speaker 1: of rusty. The contraption would snap back all the time,

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Speaker 1: worried going to hit us in the face. They were

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Speaker 1: kind of dangerous to be all right, all right anyway, anyway, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so look at that our radio. Who we are? We

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Speaker 1: are a radio phonic novella archiving the legacies, geniuses and

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Speaker 1: brilliance of women and fems of color. Yes we are,

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Speaker 1: that's who we are. That's what we do. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for tuning into Capitol. Why didn't I see

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Speaker 1: at it for Spanish speakers out there. Last time on

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Speaker 1: look at That our radio, say forty six, we interviewed

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Speaker 1: Andrea la cell and discussed the intersections of disability and Latini. That. Yes,

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Speaker 1: we did, and that was a great episode. Thank you

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Speaker 1: so much Andrea for coming for talking to us. We

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Speaker 1: learned a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Please

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Speaker 1: check out that episode if you have not yet, check

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Speaker 1: out because that's our first time really discussing Latini DA

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Speaker 1: and the disabled experience. Yes, yes, so we're super happy.

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Speaker 1: Thankful to Andrea for sharing her experience with us and

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Speaker 1: coming on too. Look at that our radio. Absolutely so

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Speaker 1: we had a Yes, so we have a full length

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Speaker 1: for you today, lives a long one. You're gonna love it.

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Speaker 1: It's very so. Our structure is a little bit different today.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna recap and talk about some stuff and

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Speaker 1: then we're we have a guest for the second half

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Speaker 1: of our interview. Oh do we have a guest? We have?

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Speaker 1: Do we ever? We have a guest? So a lot

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Speaker 1: has been going on. Yes, it's been an exciting past

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Speaker 1: few weeks. It's been a weird summer. We've talked about that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Also happy September one. By the time you're hearing this,

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Speaker 1: it will be the first few days of September. August

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Speaker 1: was the fucking longest month of my year. It was

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Speaker 1: a long month, and it was a weird month. It

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Speaker 1: was a weird month. Yeah, we didn't really get to

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Speaker 1: record in August, which was kind of sad for us.

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Speaker 1: It was, but we both, each of us were both

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Speaker 1: dealing with things on and off. We took turns. We

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Speaker 1: took turn we rotated. We're back, we're back. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for hanging with us, Yes, and thank you if you're

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Speaker 1: tuning in for the first time and all of that.

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Speaker 1: So let's get into our recap. Yes, so where to begin?

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Speaker 1: Where to begin? So last Saturday, August, I believe we

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Speaker 1: had our Pierna party at Delicious Pizza. Shot out everybody

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Speaker 1: who came through out out to our listeners. We had

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Speaker 1: babies there, we had moms, we had students from out

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Speaker 1: of state. Pierna's everywhere, Yes, everywhere, as far as I

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Speaker 1: could see. It was a good time. We want to

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Speaker 1: shout out staff who comes out to almost all of

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Speaker 1: our events. Steph. Shout out girl. We met her where Yes,

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Speaker 1: he got Readrason and all of that that event, that's

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Speaker 1: where we first met her, and she has been coming

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Speaker 1: to our stuff ever since. Yeah, we love you, so

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Speaker 1: shout out to Steph and our other locomotives are other

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Speaker 1: listeners they came. I thought it was so cute because

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Speaker 1: one of our listeners one up to another listener and

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Speaker 1: was like, are you are Yes, so cute and I'm like, yes, Bill,

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Speaker 1: community with each other. Yes, that's literally why we hosted this.

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Speaker 1: We had a listener that happened to be visiting from Minnesota.

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Speaker 1: I had family in l A. So so so she came

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Speaker 1: out and came and she came out and hung out

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Speaker 1: with us, and it was so funny because when we

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Speaker 1: when we first saw her, she didn't approach us, and

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Speaker 1: she didn't approach us for a while. But Mala said,

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Speaker 1: I think she's a listener. She's wearing pink satin pants.

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Speaker 1: I could tell. And yes, she was a listener after all.

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Speaker 1: We had a listener from the Inland Empire, from the

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Speaker 1: San Fernando Valley Um from l A like local Sizzle

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Speaker 1: was there. Sizzle was there, spinning, spinning in the hots

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Speaker 1: on a flight to San Francisco to goal. Keep working.

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Speaker 1: Sizzle doesn't stop she hustles like no other and we

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Speaker 1: love her for it, yes, and we love her for

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Speaker 1: always providing like the proper tunage at our events. So

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Speaker 1: thank you, Sizzle, we appreciate you, and thank you to

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Speaker 1: Delicious Pizza for allowing us to host our event there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it was a cute time, okay, but like there

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Speaker 1: was some drama before the Vietna party and like I'm

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Speaker 1: still like not over it. So we have our step

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Speaker 1: and Repeat that we purchased and we got designed with

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Speaker 1: our logo for look, I thought a live a podcast

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Speaker 1: party for our live show back in the spring, so

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Speaker 1: we wanted to use the Step and Repeat for the

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Speaker 1: Piana party for pictures and stuff. So Yosa came to

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Speaker 1: my house and we were going to car pull over

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Speaker 1: to Delicious Pizza. So like I'm getting ready to pull

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Speaker 1: out all of our equipment and stuff so that once

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Speaker 1: Theosa gets there, we'd like pile in the car and go.

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Speaker 1: So I kid you not. I bring down like the

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Speaker 1: different elements of the Step and Repeat and I set

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Speaker 1: them down like right in front of my gate at

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Speaker 1: my house. And what it was is these two like

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Speaker 1: square metal like bases that you stick the frame of

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Speaker 1: the step and repeat into if you can imagine that.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's just to anchor the step, and they're

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Speaker 1: heavy pieces of metal like and they're big, um like,

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Speaker 1: it was hard for me to carry them. Within five minutes,

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Speaker 1: I ran into the house like real quick to grab

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Speaker 1: other ship. And when I came out, like Yosa was

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Speaker 1: there and those metal pieces were gone. They were just gone.

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Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh, maybe the Yosa like

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Speaker 1: picked them up and put them in the car like

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Speaker 1: she was packing things up. So like I asked her,

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Speaker 1: did you see them? And she like, no, bitch, we

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Speaker 1: got robbed. Bit somebody walked by my house and just

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Speaker 1: picked up our ship and walked off with it. And

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Speaker 1: I know it's one of my fucking neighbors. Well, the

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Speaker 1: good thing is our stepan repeat was not stolen repeat

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Speaker 1: it just not the metal plate, just the metal plates

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Speaker 1: that were heavy. And so people have parties and events

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Speaker 1: in my neighborhood all the time. So you better fucking

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Speaker 1: believe if I see those ships being used at someone's

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Speaker 1: fucking like party, I'm gonna say something because you cannot

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Speaker 1: just steal Look at that equipment out at the front

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Speaker 1: of my house, What is the deal? So that was fun,

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Speaker 1: you know, but we lived to find another day fart

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Speaker 1: of the disrespect. We were like driving and I was like, Mama,

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Speaker 1: this is samphobious. So they don't want to let us live,

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Speaker 1: like they don't wanted to take pictures. They don't want

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Speaker 1: to take pictures. It's so rude. And this also just

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Speaker 1: reminded me like, in spite of the gentrification, like the

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Speaker 1: ship is still real, you know what I mean, God

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Speaker 1: fucking damn it. So that was cute. But we have

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Speaker 1: other things that we've been in evolved in and work right.

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Speaker 1: We did a lot of FEMC stuff this time, yea.

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Speaker 1: So we wrapped up our contract, we wrapped up our

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Speaker 1: our residency as Levittslion. So shout out to Levitt for

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Speaker 1: giving us the opportunity to work with them and to

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Speaker 1: fancy and to meet the artists that they booked for

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Speaker 1: the summer. Bringing you free live shows at MacArthur Park. Absolutely, um,

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Speaker 1: we need to see it for a bunch of people. Yes,

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Speaker 1: bringing the music, bringing the arts to making it accessible

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Speaker 1: and making it free to underserve communities that don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: get to see art, right, don't get to see live shows.

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Speaker 1: So that was the purpose of having it at MacArthur Park.

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Speaker 1: So we were super happy to align with them and

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Speaker 1: helped make this project possible. And our last show was

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Speaker 1: amazing because we got to fancy for Florida, the Florida

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Speaker 1: Women's Mariachi Group Grammy Award winners. Yes, like they're amazing.

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Speaker 1: They're so good. We got to see them live, see

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Speaker 1: them behind behind stage, back stage. Um, we haven't posted

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Speaker 1: our photo. We haven't posted our photo with them, but

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Speaker 1: they're just phenomenal, incredible. Follow them on Spotify. Mal and

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Speaker 1: I were blasting their album the other dayly driving together. Yes,

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Speaker 1: So they're just so good. Check them out if you

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Speaker 1: haven't and if you were there for the show, you

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Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about. If you've seen them live,

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Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about. Their music like destroyed me.

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Speaker 1: I was like, drag me, yeah, like like that, You're like,

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Speaker 1: I gotta go, I can't be here right. I was okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: you added me all you added added me, Like I

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Speaker 1: get it, and you're not. You know what. I'm very

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Speaker 1: comfortable me myself for two reasons, completely replacing mariachi culture

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Speaker 1: with completely fem queer mariacci. So I love mariachi quities.

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Speaker 1: If you've never seen them performed, they're amazing, and they're

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Speaker 1: very theatrical and hilarious. They added lots of comedy, um,

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Speaker 1: and like they have like Corey oh, and they kind

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Speaker 1: of have little skits that they do, you know, like

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Speaker 1: it's such a cute, fun experience, and they're very vocally talented.

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Speaker 1: And then like I love three as I love Florida.

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Speaker 1: They're fucking killing it. And then we have the experience

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Speaker 1: of even today like walking through Mariachi Plaza and the man,

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Speaker 1: the straight man, Mariachis are a mess and the fathers

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Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it.

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Speaker 1: We're replacing all of mariachi culture with like fa Mariachi's

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Speaker 1: that's it, right, right, tired of it? Right? Yes, Well,

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Speaker 1: they're really amazing. They're so good. Also, you mentioned that

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Speaker 1: um is media is. Yesda is Migel's cousin. Media is

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Speaker 1: Miguel's cousin. Miguel. So San Pedro, we got a okay,

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Speaker 1: so we got fact checked by my man again again.

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Speaker 1: Um because so my man works in the Harbor, he

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Speaker 1: works in San Pedro, he works in the South Bay.

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Speaker 1: And he said Miguel is not from Santa Monica. Miguel

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Speaker 1: is from San Pedro. He's from the projects in San

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Speaker 1: Pedro that the white folks like to deny exists. So

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Speaker 1: he said, it's very important that we make it known

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Speaker 1: that Miguel is actually from San Pedro. Okay, so the

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Speaker 1: correction has been issued. All right, bro, we don't like

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Speaker 1: I don't like to be correct right right, but we

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Speaker 1: got fact checked. I can't do it. I really don't

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Speaker 1: respond well to it. Like I just don't like reel supervisors, right,

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Speaker 1: I don't like male authority figures. You know what he is?

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Speaker 1: The thing is, my man is such a daddy. He's

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Speaker 1: such like he's true and not like we've talked about

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Speaker 1: not a daddy and like yes daddy, Like he's a

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Speaker 1: foppy like he'll check me like you need to do

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Speaker 1: this and not and not in like a controlling way.

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Speaker 1: But it's like get your ship together. It's very paternal.

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Speaker 1: Yes he is, he is totally so he's fucking fact

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Speaker 1: chegging us so anyway, So anyways, but yes, media, right,

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Speaker 1: so she's cousins with Mi Guels, so very musical family

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Speaker 1: and musical family in the game. Love it. Yes, what

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Speaker 1: else did we have going on? Also what we discovered

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Speaker 1: at lovett okay. So it was funny because obviously we

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Speaker 1: needed to do our announcements in English and in Spanish.

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Speaker 1: Obviously did the English and they also did all the Spanish.

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Speaker 1: I swear to you, I need to have a recording

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Speaker 1: because we need to show you what this is. Yosa

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Speaker 1: has the ill like when you see on announcer like voice, yes,

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Speaker 1: the whole thing, the rhythm, the like tone, all of

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Speaker 1: it hire her. You know, I will attribute this to

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Speaker 1: my dad, like beating Spanish. And now he didn't actually

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Speaker 1: physically beat me, but you know what I mean, like

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Speaker 1: being very strict, the emotional beating of speaking Spanish at

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Speaker 1: all times. And also I listened to um okay love,

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Speaker 1: I listened to one or seven point five. I listened

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Speaker 1: to ninety six point three in the morning, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of it is like very misogynistic and it's very

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Speaker 1: like ship that I don't want to be listening to.

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Speaker 1: But I like hearing Spanish radio, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, Okay, I like the music. I can

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Speaker 1: do without a lot of this misogyny and a lot

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Speaker 1: of this like millennial hate. But I do like I

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Speaker 1: do like listening to Spanish radio. I like listen to

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Speaker 1: programs in Spanish. Um, because I just like to hear

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Speaker 1: my language. You know, yes, absolutely, so I'll attribute it

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Speaker 1: to that and it helps, and it helps, like to

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Speaker 1: have it in your ear. It does, it does, especially now,

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Speaker 1: Like as an organizer, I used to work in Spanish.

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Speaker 1: Literally all my meetings or in Spanish. Everything was in Spanish.

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Speaker 1: My reports were in English. But I'd be translating my

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Speaker 1: personal reports that were in Spanish to my supervisor in English.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Now everything is in English. So

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Speaker 1: I like to have that stone now or you get

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Speaker 1: rusty anyway? Um, I was telling Mala, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: even update. I dyed my hair and I it in

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Speaker 1: to go darker because I like my natural hair color.

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Speaker 1: I like being a brunette. And I was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do some embre like I like to. I like

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Speaker 1: to My hair is very it's very flat. I don't

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Speaker 1: have that beautiful Provin hair that all my cousins have,

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Speaker 1: like very thick and straight, unluscious. I don't got that.

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Speaker 1: So I'm like, i want some dimension. So I'm going

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Speaker 1: to keep some blonde, right, I'm gonna keep some highlights.

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Speaker 1: I ended up coming out blonder. She's a real blonde.

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Speaker 1: And I texted while I was like, how did I

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Speaker 1: go in to go darker and came out blonder? Only me?

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Speaker 1: Like this will only happened to me, and I like it.

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Speaker 1: It looks really pretty. It's not necessarily me. It works

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Speaker 1: you gear rocking it, but I'm doing my best. You

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Speaker 1: really can wear? Did I have I shared on the

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Speaker 1: podcast my dream about my hair and why you told

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Speaker 1: me about it? Yeah, because I don't think I've really

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Speaker 1: talked on the podcast, like why I cut my hair?

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Speaker 1: You should share. It's a it's a really powerful we're

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Speaker 1: on the topic. Yeah, I haven't shared because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want to attribute, like my hair cut. I didn't necessarily

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Speaker 1: want to assign a reason for it and then have

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Speaker 1: some sort of expectation attached to it. But it's been

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Speaker 1: long enough, so I had been wanting to cut my

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Speaker 1: hair for a long time. And I've always had really long,

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Speaker 1: um wavy, dark hair and so like. And in my

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Speaker 1: family too, there's this very strong attachment to our hair

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Speaker 1: in my family, all my theas, especially on my dad's side,

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Speaker 1: my thea as, my cousins they were their hair really

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Speaker 1: really really really long past there, but which for me

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Speaker 1: is super like super harkening back to like that that's

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Speaker 1: our indigenous hairtage, like we just that's our value, is

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Speaker 1: the long hair. But I had a dream, but I

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Speaker 1: had been wanting to cut it and just try something different.

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Speaker 1: And I think that my family was more attached to

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Speaker 1: my hair than I was. But I had a dream

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Speaker 1: one day that I was swimming and my hair was

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Speaker 1: long and it was loose, and in my dream, my

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Speaker 1: hair got so heavy that it pulled me down to

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Speaker 1: the bottom of the pool and I drowned. So then

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Speaker 1: I woke up like, oh my God, like like very

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Speaker 1: breathless after that, and I said, Okay, Universe, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go that isn't a sign. I don't know what it

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Speaker 1: is if that's not a sign. And I take my

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Speaker 1: dream seriously because I don't have a lot that stick

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Speaker 1: with me. But when they do, they tend to be

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Speaker 1: like vivid like that. Yeah, So it's very once in

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Speaker 1: a while for me, So when it happens, I pay attention.

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Speaker 1: And I also have sleep paralysis sometimes I have I

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Speaker 1: have very vivid dreams like weekly. Yeah, So my my

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Speaker 1: one of my healers was telling me that my um

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Speaker 1: my subconscious doesn't like to won't let me rest. So

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Speaker 1: I have like some ship that I need to work

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Speaker 1: through in my subconscious. I know, I know, but anyway,

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Speaker 1: that little bit the subconscious, right, Okay, what so funny?

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Speaker 1: Like the other day, we were going somewhere to a

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Speaker 1: secret location. Yes, so I came out dressed. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna share. We were going to a secret location

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Speaker 1: to a secret meeting. And you know, we we like

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Speaker 1: to coordinate. Sometimes it's an accident. Sometimes we do ask

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Speaker 1: each other like what are you wearing, and we'll choose

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Speaker 1: like a color, it's a color scheme, a color or

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Speaker 1: maybe like a texture or we're doing denim, yeah, or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is. So we decided on green, like olive green.

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Speaker 1: So I have like my kind of cargo pants that

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Speaker 1: I like to wear. I have my yellow and pink

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Speaker 1: Cortez that I like to wear. I have a Belladonna

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Speaker 1: culture I love you hin And then I have my

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Speaker 1: um Michael get us my earring with the Aztec calendar

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Speaker 1: on them, the gold ones that I got here that

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Speaker 1: are so beautiful that I love there, gorgeous um and

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Speaker 1: I had like a red lip, and so I was cute,

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Speaker 1: like I was like math fly, so I w I

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Speaker 1: want out. And the also was like, You're like, so

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Speaker 1: you are so ethnic right now, like your dress, like

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Speaker 1: your aesthetic is super ethnic right now. I'm like, bitch, Well,

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Speaker 1: I have to balance this attle with your blonde hair.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, have heard one balances out? I know?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I had to do the gets the

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Speaker 1: Viet hint top and the cortex bond. Okay, all blonde

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Speaker 1: and you know it and it worked. It helped and

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Speaker 1: it helps no, honestly. So okay, mama, I know that

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Speaker 1: you recently presented at a conference this past week, UM,

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Speaker 1: do you want to share what you presented on what

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Speaker 1: you were doing? So I was really excited and fortunate

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Speaker 1: and honored to be able to present, UM to co

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Speaker 1: present an original workshop about embodying self defense as social justice,

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Speaker 1: along with two other amazing veteran UM rape crisis advocates

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Speaker 1: and self defense instructors and professors, Martha Thompson from Impact

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Speaker 1: Chicago and Darlene Defour from Hunter College in New York. So,

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Speaker 1: before I UM left my rape crisis job, I was

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Speaker 1: asked if I would like to participate with these women

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Speaker 1: to put together a workshop and submit our proposal to

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Speaker 1: the National Sexual Assault Conference, which was in Anaheim. And

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Speaker 1: we did it. We put a workshop together, we submitted

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Speaker 1: our proposal, it was selected. So the three of us

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Speaker 1: presented at the National Sexual Assault Conference UM and SACKED

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Speaker 1: this year on self defense, and a lot of what

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Speaker 1: we talked about is the fact that there's this historical

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Speaker 1: criminalization of women in general, UM for self defense, Black women,

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Speaker 1: in particular Native women. UM. You know, a large number

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Speaker 1: of women in prison and in jail are there because

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Speaker 1: they've defended themselves or they have a prior history of trauma, abuse,

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Speaker 1: domestic violence, you know, and women were just not allowed

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Speaker 1: to defend ourselves. We get punished, we get arrested, we

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Speaker 1: get jailed. It happens every day. So we were looking

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Speaker 1: at that historical criminalization and we also talked about reframing

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Speaker 1: it as in, we have to allow women and fems

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Speaker 1: to defend ourselves. We can't punish women in fems for

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Speaker 1: defending ourselves. It's good for men and boys to hear no,

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Speaker 1: it's good for men and boys to have consequences, and

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Speaker 1: sometimes it's good for you to be put in your

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Speaker 1: place when you're overstepping boundaries, you know, not in so

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Speaker 1: many terms, but that's what the workshop basically entailed. UM

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Speaker 1: and when you know, survivors or when women and fems

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Speaker 1: are able to defend ourselves, when we're allowed and given

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Speaker 1: that space, there's a sort of like community self defense

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Speaker 1: going on, and we minimize violence in the entire community.

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Speaker 1: When we eliminate one threat or we prevent one attack,

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Speaker 1: it's not just an attack against me, that's an attack

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Speaker 1: against the community, you know. So if I prevent an

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Speaker 1: assault against myself, I have made the community safer. And

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Speaker 1: wanting to give women that sort of power when we

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Speaker 1: talk about dismantling the police and law enforcement, I think

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Speaker 1: this is the response, allowing us to defend ourselves and

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Speaker 1: defend each other and to give consequences on a community

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Speaker 1: and individual level. So that was the workshop. I think

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Speaker 1: it really falls in line with our firm defense totally

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Speaker 1: and what we've done before. And it just says a

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Speaker 1: little preview. Will be having um an event in the

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Speaker 1: near future about firm defense. Oh yeah, gave some details later,

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Speaker 1: but just bookmark that place it in your mind. You

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Speaker 1: in the l A area, we will be having something

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Speaker 1: in a near few chair. And you know, look, I

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Speaker 1: thought we're all about like as you guys see, we

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Speaker 1: do a lot of different stuff. We're not just the podcast.

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Speaker 1: We like the parties, we like the workshops, we like

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Speaker 1: the keynotes, we like the events, the live shows. Like

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Speaker 1: we continue to branch out. We have a lot of

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Speaker 1: ideas and a lot of new projects that are very

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Speaker 1: different from everything we've done before. But but but within

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Speaker 1: our realm, you know, a lot of new stuff coming

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Speaker 1: very very soon within the next year. So just we're excited.

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Speaker 1: We're excited to be rolling stuff out a little by little. UM.

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Speaker 1: So actually this is a good place to transition. UM.

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Speaker 1: Next Saturday, we will be at the Latina Writer's Conference,

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Speaker 1: which is September eight, And the conference is at and

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Speaker 1: it's from ten am to five thirty. I believe the

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Speaker 1: registration is max, but they are taking like like if

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Speaker 1: you show up the day of, they're doing registration there. Um,

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Speaker 1: And our panel is at four thirty if you want

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Speaker 1: to come check us out. And the title of the

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Speaker 1: panel is space making in the Physical and Digital World.

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Speaker 1: And it's moderated by a local writer l a writer

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Speaker 1: eat eating on that and she's like, I said, she's

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Speaker 1: a writer, and so we're really excited to be on

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Speaker 1: this panel because we're both writers, we are both creators,

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Speaker 1: and we're both content creators, podcasters. We do a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff and we do make space in the physical

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Speaker 1: and digital world do along with a lot of other

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Speaker 1: really great people. And one of the hit us on

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Speaker 1: the panel is actually going to be Julissa Life. We're

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Speaker 1: so exciting. She's so amazing. If you don't follow her work,

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Speaker 1: you must, she's really really great. Um, so we're really

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Speaker 1: excited to be on this panel and to be considered

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Speaker 1: and you know that they asked us to be on

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Speaker 1: the panel, And I mean it's always super exciting and

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Speaker 1: flattering and like damn, okay, we're out here doing shit,

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Speaker 1: Like thank you for recognizing we really geek out when

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Speaker 1: people do things. Yeah, it really does excites. Sometimes we

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Speaker 1: get really surprised, like oh my god, like, yeah, thank

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Speaker 1: you for thinking of us, right right, appreciating we really do.

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Speaker 1: If you would like to bring us out shameless plan,

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Speaker 1: you would like to bring us out to you would

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Speaker 1: like to book us for fall winter, if you're at

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Speaker 1: a university, we do workshops, We have any of ours.

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Speaker 1: We can turn into a workshop, panels, panel party, keynotes, parties.

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Speaker 1: We can do it, the whole, all of it, all

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Speaker 1: of it. Our radio at gmail dot com. Look, I

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Speaker 1: thought our radio at gmail dot com such a line

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Speaker 1: using booking. Yes, yes, So if you're interested, email us,

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Speaker 1: chat with us. You have questions, you have an avad idea,

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Speaker 1: you know, let us know. Um, we're really excited and yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're we're excited for the school year, you know, to begin,

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Speaker 1: because now we can go to college campuses, meet our

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Speaker 1: listeners that are doing such great work at their university.

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Speaker 1: We love going to university, we really do. We love

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Speaker 1: the energy we do we do. Um yeah, yeah, okay,

423
00:22:57,359 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 1: So you for rocking, Thank you for rocking with us.

424
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: Thank you are listening thus far, this has been a

425
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: lot of info. We had a lot to say, we

426
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: really did. And we're gonna keep talking. There's been a

427
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: lot going on. We're gonna go into a quick songbreak

428
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back with our guests. We're super excited, y'all.

429
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 1: Y'all are not ready. You're not ready. So we're gonna

430
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,239
Speaker 1: get into our songbreak and then we'll be on my

431
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:29,160
Speaker 1: back podcaster bells and and and and and and and

432
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:42,240
Speaker 1: and and and and and and and and and and

433
00:23:42,240 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 1: and and and um um um um um um okay,

434
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: and we are back. Thank you so much for being

435
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 1: on the show today. Oh my god, thank you. No, y'all,

436
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 1: I literally love you so much. Like but when can

437
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 1: I come do it right? We've been talking about it

438
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 1: before we get into the garnet. As Mola likes to say,

439
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 1: I want to offer our listeners that are meeting you,

440
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 1: meeting you for the first time, hearing you for the

441
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:29,400
Speaker 1: first time, which I doubt TV age, but I want

442
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,639
Speaker 1: to get read your bio so our listeners can know.

443
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: Curly Velasquez the Curly is a l A based artist

444
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 1: who celebrates all things Latin X and beautiful. He began

445
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:42,560
Speaker 1: his career in fashion, working for celebrity photographer David la

446
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: Chapelle and design icon Jeremy Scott before starting his own

447
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: nine by the age of actually think it was I'm

448
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: sorry it let them know right. Curly then began working

449
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: with BuzzFeed as an office receptionist, but spend most of

450
00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,480
Speaker 1: his time serving and stalking their kitchen and serving looks

451
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:07,719
Speaker 1: at the serving. His interest in producing eventually led him

452
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: to the video side where he currently acts as a

453
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 1: creator for Buzzfeeds, Latin Next Division, Battle Life. What a

454
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:20,720
Speaker 1: read that so beautiful. Later we'll talk about how Yosa

455
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:25,440
Speaker 1: was made to be on TV like host, I love

456
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: the delivery shows a cadence. We'll say that for later.

457
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: We're so excited to have you. I'm so excited to

458
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: have you, guys. Can I just say that it was

459
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 1: so funny because y'all had me after the live show, yes,

460
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: and I wanted to talk about when I got that,

461
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: we're not talking which we wanted to talk about. We

462
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about the live show because it cracks

463
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,080
Speaker 1: me out because you were like, I'm like, yes, finally

464
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: we're gonna do things, and I thought it was gonna

465
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 1: be an interview and then y'all were like, we're playing

466
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:53,760
Speaker 1: baby shower game. Okay, that is the best adjective, like

467
00:25:54,000 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 1: a variety show. It's a sucking baby showers actually, since

468
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 1: we have such an aversion to like being impregnated, like

469
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: please do not even go there. That's hilarious. I mean,

470
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 1: I had an amazing time and it was really cool

471
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,439
Speaker 1: because I was like, oh my god, like, um, I

472
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,239
Speaker 1: forget that I can be a funny person just like

473
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 1: really fast there with you guys and be like, oh

474
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 1: we got this, yes unscripted, lie right, I mean I

475
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 1: came up to you. I didn't dye. I was done

476
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,960
Speaker 1: because curly, um, you talk about the first time or

477
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: you were with someone and you talk about how they

478
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: have really large balls. Oh my god did show? And

479
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 1: I was dying because I was like making eye contact

480
00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 1: with my man that was at the show, because I babe,

481
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,919
Speaker 1: if you're listening, I apologized, but you already know he

482
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 1: has very large balls. But my parents were there, so

483
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 1: I like he looked at me like, don't like, please,

484
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: don't say anything like do not Your parents were there.

485
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 1: Your parents got a earful that night. We were talking

486
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: about like come mask, we're talking about everything, and your

487
00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:11,240
Speaker 1: parents laugh. My mom was hysterical. She was laughing the

488
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,080
Speaker 1: whole time. I don't think. My dad told my mom

489
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:18,239
Speaker 1: is this what they talk about on the show? And

490
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 1: my mom was like, they interview people and they talk

491
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:25,639
Speaker 1: about other things so much. I always say that if

492
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 1: I can make like the older people laugh or like

493
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 1: people who aren't necessarily my niche like, I'm like, oh,

494
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:34,360
Speaker 1: I'm doing ok right, very good, and it's really funny. Yeah, straight, dude,

495
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:36,400
Speaker 1: laugh at my jokes. I'm always like, oh my god, yes,

496
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: because I know that it's like it's funny. It's not

497
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: just meant for you know, me and my people's all

498
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 1: the time, you know. I would say that's probably our

499
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: litmus test to first rate men, our men laughing at

500
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,399
Speaker 1: our jokes, right right, right, right, sure for sure, but

501
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 1: more to come. Yes in the middle. Before we get

502
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: into our interview with Curly, we wanted to answer our

503
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: oh yeah, look as questions with him, So we're going

504
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: to it into that segment now, our favorite segment because

505
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: our listeners are cheese, must ask just like us, just

506
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:11,359
Speaker 1: like so let's get into Okay, first question is how

507
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:16,280
Speaker 1: do you sponsor your cute looks? Curly? Do you want

508
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: to start? So? How do I sponsor my cute looks? Okay,

509
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: full disclosure, Right, we've kind of had this conversation internally,

510
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: so you don't realize how expensive life is until like

511
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 1: you don't have a boyfriend anymore who's like no longer

512
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: paying for all your sheet you right, and then my

513
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: dad recently like ended my gym membership. I remember that,

514
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's so mean. How dare you. So

515
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: right now, I don't have any men paying any of

516
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 1: my I've got nothing going on. I'm paying too bibles y'all,

517
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 1: Like it's for the first time in my life. But anyway,

518
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: so anyways, so right now I'm financing all of my

519
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,960
Speaker 1: cute looks. And because so many the looks are required

520
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: for look at Thought stuff, I feel like we have

521
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 1: tried to make looks an investment of the podcast, right that,

522
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 1: you know, it's a necessity. It's eventually, hopefully attacks right,

523
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: hopefully right off, you know, save those receipts, all of them. Yes,

524
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 1: but yeah, that's who's I'm financing my looks. Um. I

525
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,959
Speaker 1: also sponsor my looks. I financed my looks. Um. Sometimes

526
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: my man does. He likes to dress me, which is

527
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 1: really weird. It's cute, but it's cute like within reason,

528
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: Like he'll buy me something like, oh I thought you

529
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 1: would like this. It's always like his eyes like, oh

530
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: she'll like this, not like I want to see her

531
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 1: in this? Does that make sense? Got it right? It's

532
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: still like for me. So sometimes he'll he'll sponsor my looks,

533
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 1: but for the most part, it's just me and our

534
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:49,120
Speaker 1: friends at meybe the Belladonna. That's we've had amazing friends

535
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: like send us close. Yeah, I love that dress the

536
00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 1: same like I always say that yeah, but Belladonna like

537
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 1: to um, they don't have anything on top. They do,

538
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: but you know they anounced Belladonna. Yeah like me, I

539
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: always say, right, I used to say, because that is

540
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: the spelling that they say Belladonna from the Valley, you

541
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 1: know mine. I love them both. They're amazing minor by me.

542
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: I like have this weird thing about letting people pay

543
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: for me. Ever, it's very weird. It's like a weird

544
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 1: complex for me where I'm like, it's very like if

545
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 1: you ain't gone no money, take your broth as so

546
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: I'm super like I don't go out and if I

547
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: can't pay for myself, like I just won't do anything.

548
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: You know. Let's well, let's talk about this because anyways

549
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: continue and then as far as how it spoilt to

550
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 1: my looks like I literally um ex boyfriend collection my

551
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,760
Speaker 1: you know and stuff like that, which my ex boyfriend

552
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: made up that term. And then what I do is

553
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: I'll go to like the good Will I've bus something

554
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: for like four dollars and then where I live. I

555
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: just get things. Um, it's like a small little hinder

556
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: in Taylor's shop. So you go and like they you

557
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: pay like a decent price, like a good price, and

558
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: I just get things tailored to my body. That is

559
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: a lost are the tailor, the tailor, shoe repairman? Yeah,

560
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: surepairman and the Taylor We don't do it anymore. We

561
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 1: don't do anything that's beautiful. That yeah, I can get

562
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: the only thing that I always take my wet act

563
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 1: just to the shoe repairman and they don't know what

564
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 1: to do. I'm like, just add another piece of rubber.

565
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: I don't understand right, literally it's rubber tire practically kind

566
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 1: of yeah. Always. But it's interesting too because I'm like,

567
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: you're talking about the paying being paid for whatever, and

568
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is that life? Like nobody ever wants

569
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: to pay for anything for me? Like I'm like, do

570
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 1: they assume that you're rolling in the dough? I think

571
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 1: people assume that I'm maybe you know what I mean.

572
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,800
Speaker 1: But also like when I used to drink, because I

573
00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,239
Speaker 1: don't drink anymore. When I used to drink, nobody ever

574
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,120
Speaker 1: would ever buy me drinks like strangers. And now I

575
00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,560
Speaker 1: love you let me buy you a shot. I'm like,

576
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: where were you? Late ball ship? That's what I want now.

577
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 1: Bullshits are amazing, literally can eat them like forever. That's

578
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 1: that's mel a ship. I think. I think that's a culture.

579
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. I'm going to say I'm going to

580
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: claim that for anyway. Next question, yes, um okay, how

581
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 1: to get over it? Ain't shit boy, that's ain't ship

582
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: like you ain't ship like you ain't he's a fun boy. Yes,

583
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 1: in other words, he's trash. My best advice would always

584
00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 1: be like like for me, I'm always like you need

585
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 1: to first and foremost to know what you're working with, Like,

586
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 1: know what you're bringing to the table. I would say, like,

587
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: you know that you're a lot of times you're bringing

588
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: the table, you know what I mean, and the chairs

589
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: and the months everything exactly. So like when you meet

590
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 1: these boys who are like not about that life, I'm like,

591
00:32:57,600 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: that's cool because we open for business. Somebody else was

592
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: going to say it this table, you know what I mean. Like,

593
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's never a lot of guys always like

594
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,560
Speaker 1: with me, they're like why did you change? Like just

595
00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: because of like friend zoning you and I'm like, because

596
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: I'm moving on, Like there's only one seat at this

597
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: other table the friend the friend department is fully full.

598
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: You can go hang in that road right enough time

599
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: to be friends. But also like I don't known any

600
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: more friends and I have a lot of friends. I

601
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: have a lot of friends, have a lot of great friends.

602
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: That's the funny thing too, because I always feel bad

603
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 1: I was. I never want to be that person that's like, well,

604
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: you don't want to give up, dick, but I can't

605
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: be your friend just but but I'm also like, look,

606
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: the line to get into the friends department is full.

607
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: There's people around the block to get in. Like what

608
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: good the line for the boyfriend there's there's like a

609
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,880
Speaker 1: few you know what I mean? Yeah, right, you're right, right,

610
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,560
Speaker 1: right right. I think that my things I had to

611
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: get over named ship boy, like don't get caught up

612
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 1: to begin with, when you know what you're working with,

613
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,800
Speaker 1: don't get caught up. This is true. It's like this

614
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: idea of like someone will literally show you who they are,

615
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 1: so you got to believe them. You're right, you don't

616
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: got to change them. They're not going to change for you.

617
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 1: They're not going to be better in the denial was

618
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 1: playing in front of you. Because people that's a lot

619
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:12,960
Speaker 1: of the times we like will ignore the signs, like

620
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,799
Speaker 1: people will literally show you like this is all I'm

621
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 1: going to give you, over and over and over here, right,

622
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 1: and we still fight it like well, and a lot

623
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: of the times we get into this very like well,

624
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 1: I'm the ship and I'm bomb and my pussy's bomb,

625
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 1: and I'm this and I'm that, which is true, true,

626
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,400
Speaker 1: But if someone doesn't want to be there, they're not

627
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,399
Speaker 1: going to be there. I do want to believe because

628
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of men, especially being Latino and

629
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: seeing a lot of the men in my family, like

630
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: they've changed. They are they're like toxic men. But sometimes

631
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: I've seen them change. But it's a span of ye

632
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 1: and it's also then it goes back again to you, like, Okay,

633
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: they might change, but do you want to like get

634
00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 1: a black eye in the process. Are you trying to

635
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 1: be like staying there for like ten years later. No,

636
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: that's up to you. You make the decisions like they

637
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: may they may not, but at the end of the day,

638
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 1: you are the master of own destiny. But also his

639
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:07,600
Speaker 1: growth is not cannot come at the expense of your deterioration. Exactly.

640
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: This cannot hurry exactly. Also masks centered folks as well,

641
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,640
Speaker 1: not just his his men, but like also for folks

642
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,839
Speaker 1: that's weird. Toxic masculinity is also a thing. I've lived through.

643
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: It been there, done that. You know, it's exist. How

644
00:35:24,719 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 1: do you get over an eight ship boy? Um, do

645
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 1: not go to the valley number one number one that

646
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:36,600
Speaker 1: center taught in the valley Dick. You know, Oh, I know,

647
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: I can't go there. I can't go. I can't go

648
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 1: com Um. You know, my my record, my record with

649
00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: dating and getting over men is very uh low, because

650
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,800
Speaker 1: dating men is a is something recent, like within the

651
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: past two years. So I don't have the like all

652
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: the advice in that way. But I will say that

653
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 1: it took me not a long time to get over someone,

654
00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: but it took me a long time to get over

655
00:36:01,640 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: the trauma of like what this person put me through. Um.

656
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:07,759
Speaker 1: So recently I shared on my Instagram. I don't want

657
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: to get too much into it because it's it's a

658
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:10,920
Speaker 1: long thing, but I recently shared that I actually had

659
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 1: a guided meditation um with a healer of mine and

660
00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 1: we she had me like visualize this person, and I

661
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 1: was really stressed about it, right, shall we visualize this person?

662
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: And then kept telling me how powerful I was and

663
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,520
Speaker 1: like how I was in control. And then I feel

664
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:30,680
Speaker 1: like neither love nor hate for this person. I just

665
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,680
Speaker 1: feel indifferent. And because that's the point we want to

666
00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 1: be at, right, Like we don't want to feel at

667
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:36,799
Speaker 1: least for me, Like I don't want to feel angry

668
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 1: because that's more energy you're taking from me. And I

669
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 1: don't obviously don't have any love for you, so I'm

670
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: not going to feel that either. So what I want

671
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 1: to feel is indifference. So at some point, like we

672
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: do have to. I think we have to get to

673
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 1: that point with task people, like we're indifferent towards you.

674
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 1: You're not going to get a rise out of me.

675
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: You're not gonna get attention from me, You're not going

676
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,560
Speaker 1: to get any more energy from me. Also to me,

677
00:36:56,640 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 1: I feel like you can still be like, like I

678
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 1: do this thing, like I go like bestuda and I

679
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: literally put a label on somebody in my head and

680
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: I walked past it. I'm like best without trash, trash,

681
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 1: whatever you know, and I feel like I'm not. It's

682
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 1: no anger and there's no I'm not like, but it's

683
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: just me being like, that's just what you want. There

684
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: is a there is a trash can like right across

685
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,719
Speaker 1: from us, and there's just trashing it. I'm like, I'm

686
00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,040
Speaker 1: not tripping right right right, And for me, I have

687
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: never been one to remain friends or maintain content. I

688
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: don't get intentionally, I don't. I don't like, I don't

689
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: get the ex friends thing. I don't get it. I'm

690
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: friends with all my ex boyfriends. I think it's because, Um,

691
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm young, right, Like, I'm a young person, and I

692
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:41,000
Speaker 1: recognize that I'm the relationships that I was in we

693
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: were even younger. And then I recognized that when you're

694
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 1: that young, when you're in your early twenties, you're in

695
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,440
Speaker 1: your late teens or in your mid twenties, like, you

696
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: don't know a lot of things, and sometimes you shitty

697
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,200
Speaker 1: things happen in your shitty person. And so my thing

698
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: was like, look, you cheated on me, you may have

699
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,239
Speaker 1: said some things you've done to this is this isn't

700
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 1: doesn't me like physical abuse. I'm not talking about anything.

701
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: I'm talking about things that are like, um, you know

702
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you're seventeen years old and you

703
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 1: cheated on me and you slept with one of my

704
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: homegirls and dada like that for me and like, look

705
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 1: like you were seventeen years old. I'm not going to

706
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: sit here right right, that's a thirty year old, which

707
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 1: is whatever. I'm thirty, um and be like um mad

708
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: at you, like yeah, yeah, how are you now? Are

709
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: you better person? Great? Exactly? Well yeah, I mean that

710
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,800
Speaker 1: sounds like it's honoring both of y'all's growth, and I

711
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: think mal and I mean we're still in our mid twenties. Yeah,

712
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: so It's like we're not there at that point. I'm

713
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,839
Speaker 1: not background, right, I'll learning like okay, Like if you're

714
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: better against somebody who hurt you when you were seventeen

715
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,280
Speaker 1: years old and now you're thirty now whatever, you literally

716
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: are going to look at another seventeen year old and

717
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,720
Speaker 1: be like, oh, baby Blue, you're right at that school.

718
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: You don't know, but you're a child. No like harbor

719
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:55,440
Speaker 1: resentment for any of like early I just like I

720
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: came to this realization that all of my serious relationship

721
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 1: had like ended horribly and terribly and very like I

722
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 1: cannot be around those guys, Like it's better for me,

723
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: not like there was so much ship going on it

724
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,160
Speaker 1: got so negative, Like it's safer and healthier for me

725
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 1: to not contain anything. That's also different too, because if

726
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: you feel like spiritually and lightwise, if somebody is diminishing

727
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 1: who you are and making you feel smaller and hindering

728
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,680
Speaker 1: your your own spiritual growth, then yes, by all means

729
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,080
Speaker 1: like forget about that. But if you're I'm super chill,

730
00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: I'm like you tea on me and I don't carry

731
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: your dick. Wasn't no good anyways, it wasn't right. That's

732
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,439
Speaker 1: like that you the Queen song where she talks about

733
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:40,879
Speaker 1: like um like it's the same. Yeah, it's like okay, yeah,

734
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:45,399
Speaker 1: you slevet with my man? So who really like at

735
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:50,760
Speaker 1: I know what he's doing. I know all his moves

736
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: in order, in order. Okay, it's real. That's real. Okay

737
00:39:56,000 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: his ad libs, damn okay. Next question, how did you

738
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: learn to embrace your curves and femininity and stop worrying

739
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 1: about other people's opinions? Who wants to start? I think

740
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:13,240
Speaker 1: we've shared this before, but as always we have new listeners.

741
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,560
Speaker 1: But so I I like have had the experience of

742
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 1: being super curby at a very young age and like

743
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 1: having the experience of like my Thea's were those Thea's

744
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 1: who would make comments like, oh, I'm in the fifth grade, right,

745
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: I didn't have curbs like yours until I was seven

746
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: months pregnant, and things like that that they would say

747
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: to me because my Thea's and my mom are very slight,

748
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 1: They're built more like Theosa. My mom is a smaller lady,

749
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,520
Speaker 1: and then me and my sister take after the Munio side,

750
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:43,680
Speaker 1: like my dad's side. And so for me, it came

751
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 1: at the expense of like years of dealing with eating

752
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: disorders because all that ship funked with me. And you know,

753
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 1: we have talked about this. There's this constant back and forth.

754
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, me, how you need to eat more?

755
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,800
Speaker 1: Oh no, don't get fat. Oh here's sometimes it's just

756
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 1: this constant back and worth back and forth, and there's

757
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,359
Speaker 1: never a like settle. And even like now I'm twenty six,

758
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,640
Speaker 1: my my family, even having seen me go through like

759
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: all that ship, the diet culture is still there. It's

760
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,359
Speaker 1: just so strong in it. And so I just had

761
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 1: to learn to honestly like talk back to them, um,

762
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: you know, because it got to a point where it

763
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: was so unhealthy for me that I had to fight

764
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: for myself and I had to really like I had

765
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,239
Speaker 1: moments where I was like, do not talk to me

766
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,320
Speaker 1: about my weight at all. Like I remember when I

767
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 1: had graduated from college. I gained so much weight senior year,

768
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 1: and I like texted my family ahead of time and

769
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,400
Speaker 1: I told them, when you get here, I'm letting you

770
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 1: know that I'm like thirty pounds heavier than the last

771
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,959
Speaker 1: time you saw me. Do not make any comments about

772
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 1: my appearance, like period, not even And then they were

773
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: like responding, like you look beautiful at no at any way,

774
00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:50,000
Speaker 1: and I said, no, I mean literally, no comments about

775
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 1: my appearance, nothing like, not even that because even like

776
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: the quote is that they're supposedly positive comments like a

777
00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: very um, that is what I'm looking for. It's appointed

778
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 1: its Yeah, So that would be my advice. Set boundaries

779
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: with your family and with your Latinox family. And I've

780
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:11,080
Speaker 1: set boundaries with my grandmother who's an immigrant from Mexico

781
00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: who likes still predominantly speak Spanish, you know what I mean,

782
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: So like they can hear it, Yeah, they can hear it.

783
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: They can hear it. They need to hear it. So

784
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,880
Speaker 1: at the expense of like your self esteem, set the boundary.

785
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to be stern with them. They yell

786
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: at us all the time, not fucking damn it right,

787
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 1: you know, set a boundary. It's okay. Now, I completely agree.

788
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 1: I am. I've had to set that those boundaries and

789
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 1: have that conversation with my mom. And it's really difficult

790
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 1: because my my mom and other family members will make

791
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: comments about my body. But recently my mom in the

792
00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:44,760
Speaker 1: past year has made comments about like my small breast,

793
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: and I've had to be like, do not make comments

794
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:52,200
Speaker 1: about my body at all. And Christmas last Christmas, at

795
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: the dinner table, um, she had she made a comment

796
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: about I can't even remember the comment about me losing

797
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,879
Speaker 1: weight or me something, and so coming from the place

798
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,960
Speaker 1: of like my family knowing I hadn't even disordered for

799
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 1: many years, um, and then her saying this at the

800
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 1: dinner table, and I like actually snapped back at her

801
00:43:09,239 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, I've told you about this, do

802
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: not make comments about my body or about weight. And

803
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:18,040
Speaker 1: she got really upset and didn't talk to me for

804
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 1: like a good three days. So I had to I

805
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: like spent the like I was on break, and I

806
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 1: spent that time not at home but at my partner's

807
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: home because like the house was like hostile. But it

808
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 1: took me having to make you know, make those set

809
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 1: those boundaries and actually call it out even though it

810
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: was uncomfortable because it was at Christmas and it was

811
00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 1: at my family's dinner table. But what was more important,

812
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,600
Speaker 1: like how I was feeling, or how my mom was

813
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:45,800
Speaker 1: feeling and her and she she was upset because she

814
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,479
Speaker 1: was embarrassed because she was called out right, not because

815
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: she actually hurt me, but it was more of her

816
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:54,000
Speaker 1: ego and her feelings, right, you know. So I had

817
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,360
Speaker 1: to continuously like fight for myself and my body and

818
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,440
Speaker 1: my space, you know, and like it saw extend. It's

819
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:02,480
Speaker 1: really hard, but like that's what it's like being in

820
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: a Latino household. I think culturally, for so long, it's

821
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: been okay to do that, you know what I mean,

822
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,919
Speaker 1: and okay in a way that even though people didn't

823
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:14,360
Speaker 1: like it, people weren't speaking up in the moment, you

824
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I think that like they're

825
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: not used to it, like you know, I get in

826
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,319
Speaker 1: no way would ever compare my experience growing up as

827
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,400
Speaker 1: a as a man to what girls and fems go

828
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,840
Speaker 1: through right, um about their own bodies. But you know,

829
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:29,839
Speaker 1: comments to my grandma will be like, like I got

830
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:33,200
Speaker 1: my nose job years ago because she was like like

831
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,719
Speaker 1: your nose is so big, or you know, down to

832
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: like things like that. But I mean, like, I wouldn't

833
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 1: um compare because y'all, I know you guys have a

834
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: tough like I watch it like different things, and I

835
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:52,759
Speaker 1: think that like, you're it's good that you guys are

836
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: kind of like putting your foot down in what your

837
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: boundaries are, because at the end of the day, it

838
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 1: just goes right back to that like boundaries. What is

839
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 1: everybody's boundaries as far as how you want to be

840
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:02,080
Speaker 1: spoken to? And then you move from there, like then

841
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: you don't worry about people, I think because the thing

842
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:06,880
Speaker 1: was like how do you stop worrying about people? Yes? Right,

843
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: So it's like you just kind of do your thing.

844
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 1: And I think finding your own community in any sort

845
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: of space, I feel like it's the best way to

846
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:19,560
Speaker 1: not you know, pay to other people's opinions always. Hell yeah,

847
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,319
Speaker 1: the internet definitely helped me dig myself out of that. Um.

848
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 1: The Internet was everything as far as body positivity and

849
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 1: connecting with other women of color online. And I think

850
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,680
Speaker 1: you as you get older too, It's an age thing.

851
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: For me. As I got older, I realized that no

852
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: matter what, there will always be a comment, there will

853
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 1: always be a criticism. So you might as well just

854
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,839
Speaker 1: like do what I feel you are good, because if

855
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 1: you would conform to anybody's standards, somebody is always going

856
00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 1: to nitpick and find a flaw and not like it anyway. Right,

857
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,480
Speaker 1: as far as I embracing femininity as well, like that

858
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 1: one I can talk a little bit about just because

859
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 1: it's like in the gay world, the more feminine you would,

860
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: and I think the in the world in general, femininity

861
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: is seen as weakness and so it's just a thing

862
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 1: where you're like taking that back and being like femininity

863
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,080
Speaker 1: is just so secure with itself that it's even stronger,

864
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 1: and it's you know, far more stronger than masculinity in

865
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 1: my opinion, you know. So it's like living in that

866
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: space and being okay with it and just being like,

867
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: this is what we are fems together. Like then you

868
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: just said everything else just sets to break away. Yeah,

869
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:29,720
Speaker 1: I love that, and I feel like we have talked

870
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:33,760
Speaker 1: maybe online, maybe in person, about your experience with street harassment,

871
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: even Latin and how long even femininity is a pieces

872
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,719
Speaker 1: for that about it? Yeah, just like talking about how

873
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,480
Speaker 1: like you know, because we're talking about people were shouting

874
00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 1: at you and I apologize construction workers, yes, you know,

875
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:46,840
Speaker 1: and I like, I was like, I'm so sorry that

876
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 1: happens to you, Like it happens to me, whether I'm

877
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: walking around and people are like using that word and

878
00:46:51,120 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 1: screaming across the street or um, you know, there was

879
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: there were construction workers next to my apartment, and I

880
00:46:58,120 --> 00:47:00,320
Speaker 1: watched them, you know, like sometimes Latinos do that with it.

881
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: They point with their lips right, you know, and they

882
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 1: all turn around and I'm like, I know, I'm like

883
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:10,919
Speaker 1: wearing like a cow hide crop jacket, but like I'm

884
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 1: killing rights and crunch shops. Yes, literally, it costs zero

885
00:47:20,440 --> 00:47:23,880
Speaker 1: dollars to stay in your lane, mind your own business way.

886
00:47:24,800 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 1: Imagine that like performance piece or like random photo installation

887
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: of you, Like that image just came to mind of

888
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,760
Speaker 1: you in the jacket in front of the construction site,

889
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: and they're just like they can't conceptualize. Yeah, just a

890
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 1: beautiful photo of the be like her exactly right. So

891
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,400
Speaker 1: it's just super interesting because it's like, yeah, like it

892
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 1: is what it is. You see what you see? You know, yeah, absolutely, Okay,

893
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: So a good conversation for the question. Final question we

894
00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:58,760
Speaker 1: answered more today because obviously we have our guest curlier.

895
00:48:00,120 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: So the last question, I think is a good way

896
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 1: to end this segment. If you had to give your

897
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 1: younger self advice, what would it be. Oh my god,

898
00:48:10,719 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 1: if I had to give my younger self advice, it

899
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: would be, you know what, don't let school and college

900
00:48:18,120 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: stress you out so much? You know what I mean,

901
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:26,279
Speaker 1: because like all this stress my particular context and growing up,

902
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:28,720
Speaker 1: I had a lot a lot of stress and pressure

903
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 1: academically and everything to go to college, go to a

904
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: good college. UM, and just the school that I was

905
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: at was very high pressured and it was a very

906
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,080
Speaker 1: white environment and it was hard to be in UM.

907
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: And I would say, like, chill out, like get some sleep, right,

908
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: don't sign up for all those APE classes. The APE

909
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:51,439
Speaker 1: as a scam, like you know, like just sucking. Don't

910
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: worry something. I think that's a blanket thing that I

911
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,440
Speaker 1: would put I think over everybody, like no matter how

912
00:48:56,480 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: old you are, chill like for me, I always tell myself,

913
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: like if I to tell myself anything as a young

914
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:06,800
Speaker 1: gay kid, Latino kid who's chubby, who had crazy frizzy

915
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:10,640
Speaker 1: hair that I still can't control, Like, um, it's always

916
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,520
Speaker 1: like it's going to get better, Like stay focused on

917
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: all the things that you like, like keep creating, if

918
00:49:15,600 --> 00:49:18,200
Speaker 1: you draw, draw, if you sing, sing, if you write right, like,

919
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: don't ever stop take photographs. Um. Everything that makes you

920
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 1: different as a kid and that people make fun of

921
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 1: you about is the thing that sets you apart as

922
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:28,360
Speaker 1: an adult. It's a thing that you get paid for.

923
00:49:29,560 --> 00:49:31,080
Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times people have made

924
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: fun of me for my the texture of my hair

925
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 1: and the fact that it curls a certain way that

926
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: it does and the texture is very rough, and it's like,

927
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: that's literally what my name is, and that's literally what

928
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: pays my bills, like part of your headage and everything.

929
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, where are you at with your hair lines? Right?

930
00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:50,359
Speaker 1: Where where you here with me exactly? And where's your

931
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 1: hair right? Right? Um? So I feel like, um, I

932
00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: internalized a lot of the uh So, I was a

933
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:04,880
Speaker 1: very shy and quiet kid, but I don't think I

934
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 1: was actually supposed to be a shy and quiet kid,

935
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, so I grew up

936
00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 1: feeling very like kind of wall flowery. I'm not meant

937
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 1: to be a wall flower like clearly, but I and

938
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 1: I think and I attribute that to the podcast. So

939
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: to actually owning my voice, um and actually creating space

940
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 1: for myself and taking up space. I think that is

941
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: something I would give my younger self, Like if I

942
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:32,759
Speaker 1: had allowed myself to be in more clubs and to

943
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:35,800
Speaker 1: do more and to take more leadership roles as a younger,

944
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 1: as a younger kid even in college, Like if I

945
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 1: had allowed allowed myself that, like maybe I would have

946
00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,400
Speaker 1: had more opportunity to grow, you know what I mean.

947
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 1: But I think, like my trajectory is my trajectory, and

948
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 1: I'm happy with where I'm at. I'm happy with who

949
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: I am. But another thing that I would say that

950
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:54,320
Speaker 1: my therapist tells me is, um, my younger self was

951
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:57,040
Speaker 1: never allowed to have any conflict, which is why I

952
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 1: when I my trauma respond, my stress response is always flight,

953
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 1: sure and freeze. So now it's like, okay, well now

954
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 1: you're an adult and you have the tools, so now

955
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: you can actually confront things and have conflict. So I

956
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:13,879
Speaker 1: would tell my younger self have that fight, talk back,

957
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: say what you want right and it's okay, and you're

958
00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: gonna be okay. You're not gonna like combust, you know

959
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,759
Speaker 1: what I mean, So that that would be my advice. Yeah,

960
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: it's also the thing of like to I think culturally,

961
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: like um, feminine people are taught to be wall flowers essentially,

962
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: Like I watched my mother who's very quiet. The women

963
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 1: and my family tend to be very quiet. And my

964
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,319
Speaker 1: one thea who's very strong, like she's known for being strong,

965
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:42,440
Speaker 1: and she's like not in my house kind of thing,

966
00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 1: but everybe but she's like whoa she's like, but she's

967
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,560
Speaker 1: so different, and it's like it should be voicing their

968
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 1: opinions right, like it shouldn't be. I call it as

969
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:55,840
Speaker 1: there's meet syndrome because it's like we're very like oh CC,

970
00:51:56,040 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: we're like we are service and not even in our

971
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 1: language like like for us like we say, you asked

972
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: a question on Monday, right at your service, or like

973
00:52:06,239 --> 00:52:08,759
Speaker 1: how can I help me? So I just think that

974
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,239
Speaker 1: and it's good that more of us are kind of

975
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,759
Speaker 1: speaking all right more well, I think because in my

976
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: experience on my proving side, everyone is really loud and

977
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,160
Speaker 1: but if everything is in Spanish, so I think growing

978
00:52:19,239 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: up I had this really weird like my dad when

979
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:25,400
Speaker 1: I would mess up in Spanish. Um, so then I

980
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: just wouldn't talk because I didn't want to be scolded

981
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:32,120
Speaker 1: for not knowing the words right right right. Even this morning,

982
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 1: I said something and I used the wrong like gender right,

983
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,759
Speaker 1: and he corrected me right away, and I was like, like,

984
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: I save a little bay. I got so mad at

985
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 1: my mom for doing that to me because I was like, Mom,

986
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,160
Speaker 1: I don't correct you, and if I do, I'm teaching you.

987
00:52:45,239 --> 00:52:48,239
Speaker 1: I don't make you feel bad. Yes, no, my father

988
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: and I know that it comes from a good place,

989
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 1: but it's like as a kid like so then I

990
00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: didn't want to speak in English and I don't want

991
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 1: to speak in Spanish, so then I would even more quiet.

992
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,000
Speaker 1: You know what I love. Phoenex Elders have a hard

993
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:02,759
Speaker 1: time with positive affirmation, usually negative. It's more criticism than

994
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: positive afformies right right right, But it's in the space

995
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 1: of wanting us to be ye, which I understand. That's

996
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 1: on my line. Our last episode, we talked about the

997
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:13,160
Speaker 1: impostor syndrome and how are our families will like ground

998
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:17,480
Speaker 1: us right, and yeah, it is from a place of love.

999
00:53:17,560 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 1: You know what, I didn't realize how so many of

1000
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 1: our families, Okay, like I think about like so I

1001
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 1: come from like a Chicago community, right, and like my family,

1002
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: and I think of like George Lopez, he's looking problematic

1003
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,919
Speaker 1: and all kinds of ship. But he used to talk

1004
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:33,279
Speaker 1: about in his comedy like people would criticize him like

1005
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: why do you talk about like these things that come

1006
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: off as like verbal abuse or like alcoholism in the

1007
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:42,400
Speaker 1: in the communities, and like the way that you are

1008
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: you talking about people like hitting their kids, And he goes, well,

1009
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:46,640
Speaker 1: when I stopped seeing it, I'll stop talking about it.

1010
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,760
Speaker 1: And so it wasn't until I went into crisis counselor

1011
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,600
Speaker 1: training and like literally learned to be like a rape

1012
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 1: crisis counselor and trauma informed language and learned how to

1013
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: talk on the hotline. It wasn't until going through that

1014
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:01,760
Speaker 1: program that I really lized how much of our verbiage

1015
00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,359
Speaker 1: and the way we speak to each other at home

1016
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 1: is very verbally abusive. And we played off as like

1017
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,960
Speaker 1: oh we're spirited or oh we're just we're tougher on

1018
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:10,839
Speaker 1: our kids, or we tell it like it isn't it's

1019
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 1: a little bit mean, and we could just what I

1020
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: want is for us to be able to kind of

1021
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: just tweak our language a little bit. Yeah, it's an

1022
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 1: interesting topic to because even my dad we were having

1023
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 1: dinner for my birthday and he was like, I apologize

1024
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 1: and I feel sorry first thanking you as a kid,

1025
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 1: he was like, I was also a kid, and I

1026
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 1: just feel bad about the way that I may have

1027
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 1: handled things. But then I'm laughing as I'm like, no,

1028
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 1: it worked out like I needed it. I needed it.

1029
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 1: I was a badass kid, Like I'm happy that she's

1030
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:40,239
Speaker 1: spanking because I made me afraid of you. So when

1031
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:42,360
Speaker 1: you said something like when I was learning how to

1032
00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: write a certain type of way, you know, and I

1033
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:45,920
Speaker 1: got in trouble because they're where that I was going

1034
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:48,600
Speaker 1: to go tag on stuff like I needed that sort

1035
00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 1: of collection, Like if my sister started address a Ctain

1036
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 1: type of way, like that's it's a that's a whole

1037
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: another topic. When like, you know something people also how

1038
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 1: like white folk always on or other people want to

1039
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 1: be hood as fucked and then in the household like

1040
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: our parents are like and that guys on outside the

1041
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:08,640
Speaker 1: phol like they don't do and I'm just like, we're

1042
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: trying so hard to get better sometimes and then they're

1043
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 1: trying hard to like like even like faces. I'm sorry,

1044
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,879
Speaker 1: I'm going out tattoo like even face tattoo faces, face tattoos, tattoos.

1045
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting to me because I'm like, yo,

1046
00:55:20,640 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 1: like my cousin the head face tattoos back in the day,

1047
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 1: it was because of some ch and not because he

1048
00:55:24,400 --> 00:55:27,399
Speaker 1: was like I want to look cool. Anyway, I'm sorry,

1049
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:32,359
Speaker 1: there's so much worse, and I love how that came from.

1050
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:35,840
Speaker 1: Like what advice would you give your don't you face tattoos?

1051
00:55:35,880 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 1: All of that, don't do face tattoos, um, take of space,

1052
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:51,240
Speaker 1: don't shill out, sleep all that's drinkwater, drinkwater, moisture. All right, Okay,

1053
00:55:51,320 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: So that has been all you know, that has been

1054
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 1: like basically a full interview. I know, Curly, Curly, you

1055
00:55:57,760 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 1: do so much. Like in addition to the BuzzFeed and

1056
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:09,560
Speaker 1: the videos, we know that your dog father Yeah, yes,

1057
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,840
Speaker 1: in my pimple, he's a giant pimple. And he was

1058
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: on the phone running up and down the streets to

1059
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,840
Speaker 1: Melrose and a fancy He's beautiful, and somebody was like,

1060
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: do you mind if I bring him to your apartment?

1061
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 1: And my friend was like, I don't know where to

1062
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:23,719
Speaker 1: take him. He's a baby, and I was like and

1063
00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:27,080
Speaker 1: and he was so chill, and he's like the best

1064
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,399
Speaker 1: thing I live for him. He's so expensive because white

1065
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 1: pipples have like horrible, horrible skin problems and medical needs

1066
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,000
Speaker 1: and it's just like my entire check goes to that.

1067
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's my you know. And I'm like an

1068
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,040
Speaker 1: advocate for pitpules because I'm like, everyone is so abazy.

1069
00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: I don't little dogs Like, I'm like, we have so

1070
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:53,439
Speaker 1: sorry for you both. I just really like little dogs.

1071
00:56:53,480 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: To me. I'm like, you you bought a hamster. You basically,

1072
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 1: my god, you didn't get a real dog like your size.

1073
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: You Because my man has a has a bulldog and

1074
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,520
Speaker 1: English bulldog and he'll call that he's like a little

1075
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:10,279
Speaker 1: handsome that. Yeah, that's that's my big dogs too. Like well,

1076
00:57:10,320 --> 00:57:12,040
Speaker 1: i mean, I'm like, what are they? Who are you

1077
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:14,320
Speaker 1: going to protect little dog? Okay, well you're just a

1078
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:18,080
Speaker 1: dog hater. I'm I just feel like I'm shopping on

1079
00:57:18,160 --> 00:57:20,880
Speaker 1: every other dog because your dog supremacist. I was gonna say,

1080
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: you people, people don't get everybody's so read of him.

1081
00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:27,920
Speaker 1: That's very walk him like. People will cross the streets,

1082
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,000
Speaker 1: people walk out of the storage back and they see

1083
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: me like, which is good because I'm a gay boy

1084
00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,520
Speaker 1: and I live like in a in a good area.

1085
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: But it's a little different. Um. And it's cool because

1086
00:57:36,800 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 1: it's me and my pimple and we're like breaking stereotypes.

1087
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:45,040
Speaker 1: I love breaking the stereotygs all the time. Yes, um.

1088
00:57:45,800 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 1: And but also that goes to show because a lot

1089
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:49,480
Speaker 1: of the times it's not the pimple, it's not the dog,

1090
00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:51,640
Speaker 1: it's the owner and the condition that they're kept in,

1091
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:54,240
Speaker 1: which makes them more aggressive. Tying them up in the

1092
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 1: backyard because the big dog is no way to have

1093
00:57:56,800 --> 00:58:00,439
Speaker 1: a dog. I literally this guy like I hug him, yeah,

1094
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,520
Speaker 1: like baby kisses for literally forty five minutes on end,

1095
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 1: and then he's just like, oh my goodness. Well currently,

1096
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 1: so you're also touring. I know we're dunking because it's

1097
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 1: like a little tour yea our adventure. It's just all

1098
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,920
Speaker 1: by the grace of God, it got us, and it's

1099
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:24,800
Speaker 1: just the universe and the energy. I think, like, um,

1100
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: it's just like I was talking about, like I literally

1101
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:28,720
Speaker 1: which is negative in the bank like a few weeks ago,

1102
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,880
Speaker 1: and so I'm like, please, we can really can. And

1103
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 1: if that's another interesting too, because you look at creators

1104
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:36,680
Speaker 1: and you look at people on the internet and you're like,

1105
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,440
Speaker 1: they just have it so good. It's like I still

1106
00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 1: got bills to pay. I still got you know, I

1107
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 1: mean and mile and I don't do this whole time,

1108
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 1: but we'll get questions like how do you finance the podcast?

1109
00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 1: Does the podcast make pay well? No, like we don't.

1110
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,200
Speaker 1: This audio what you're hearing is completely free. We do

1111
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:55,040
Speaker 1: this because we love it. It's a labor of love.

1112
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 1: We don't have sponsors our book when you book us,

1113
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: like that's how we make our money, and we distribute

1114
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 1: it because we work with specifically women of color, queer folks,

1115
00:59:04,640 --> 00:59:09,360
Speaker 1: undocument pay are graphic designer, were DJs, phohographers, you know

1116
00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 1: what I mean, And you get it. I know, it's

1117
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 1: like it's super hard, Like it's a thing where I'm

1118
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,040
Speaker 1: lucky because there are a lot of independent creators and

1119
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,600
Speaker 1: I'm a creator that's signed to a company, So I

1120
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 1: do get like my my two weeks, you know what

1121
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 1: I mean. But everybody, yes, but I'm not over here

1122
00:59:24,440 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 1: rolling in dough. I'm not like I still have to

1123
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 1: get on a plane and go make money somewhere. That's

1124
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 1: the way that And it's a sad. People are like,

1125
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 1: you shouldn't tell people that you're negative. I'm like, no,

1126
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 1: like I want people to know that the grass isn't

1127
00:59:36,520 --> 00:59:38,800
Speaker 1: always greener and all you have to do is like

1128
00:59:39,400 --> 00:59:43,840
Speaker 1: work hard, keep like keep going and hopefully the situation

1129
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:45,760
Speaker 1: will turn so yes, like right now, I'm like, I

1130
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:48,480
Speaker 1: just got back from less. You have a Mexico um

1131
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 1: for a gig, like which was really cool. And then

1132
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: they like they sent me up in like a haunted convent,

1133
00:59:55,120 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 1: like an old fourth It's called like um on this

1134
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:03,560
Speaker 1: and so it's amazing, it's beautiful. There was like thunder

1135
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 1: and I'm not afraid of no ghost like I don't.

1136
01:00:05,960 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 1: I love ghosts. And I identified as like a bluer

1137
01:00:09,080 --> 01:00:13,040
Speaker 1: like I do, and I like constantly, yes, I constantly

1138
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 1: I called in my spirits like the more you know me,

1139
01:00:14,600 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 1: I'm always like, oh my spirits are talking to want

1140
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 1: me to hit you up and tell you this. And

1141
01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:22,960
Speaker 1: I'm usually very very accurate and in tune. Um. So

1142
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of ghosts, but I was afraid of

1143
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,640
Speaker 1: the thunder out there. And I was like, oh hell no, Lord,

1144
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: turn turn that shut down. I was more afraid of

1145
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 1: a haunted scenario in Latin America than in the US. See,

1146
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know, there's something for me, There's something. Yes,

1147
01:00:38,120 --> 01:00:41,120
Speaker 1: it was more and there. I walked in and I

1148
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 1: immediately started to feel very isolated and alone and sad

1149
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 1: like like a like a feeling of just like I'm

1150
01:00:49,240 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 1: just so lonely, you know. And I kept walking around

1151
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: and didn't recognize it, and so somebody else called me out.

1152
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,640
Speaker 1: I kept walking to the same window and sitting on

1153
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: the ledge, and I did it like two or three times,

1154
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,040
Speaker 1: and this guy was like, why do you keep coming

1155
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,439
Speaker 1: to the same spot? And I was like, oh my god,

1156
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: I didn't realize that I was in the same spot.

1157
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,240
Speaker 1: So I went to go. When I got back to

1158
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: l A, I read that they were monks. Um, oh

1159
01:01:13,280 --> 01:01:14,840
Speaker 1: my god, what were they called? They were called them

1160
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 1: like carm like and they were supposed to be up there,

1161
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:25,320
Speaker 1: secluded by themselves as hermits. They couldn't even work with

1162
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:30,520
Speaker 1: each other. Cloister, Yes, exactly so, But I don't know.

1163
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,440
Speaker 1: It's interesting because they keep probably it a convent, But

1164
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,440
Speaker 1: on wiki they keep talking about monks, and I'm like,

1165
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:39,200
Speaker 1: did she here exactly way? I was just like I'm

1166
01:01:39,240 --> 01:01:41,920
Speaker 1: picking up on different things, and I just like, um,

1167
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:46,440
Speaker 1: you felt their isolation. It was interesting and it's kind

1168
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 1: of like I'd like to do some things where I

1169
01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:53,240
Speaker 1: put my hands on the actual objects to feel things. Um,

1170
01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 1: that's different. But with people, I hear what I call suggestions,

1171
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 1: and the suggestions are usually the accurate part which is done,

1172
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 1: and suggestions being like, for example, so I'll be um

1173
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,360
Speaker 1: like I'll be in the shower, let's just say and

1174
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:10,680
Speaker 1: or I'll be like next to you and I'm like,

1175
01:02:10,760 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 1: you know, it would be great if diosa and so

1176
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: and so got together and I'd be like, have you

1177
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,520
Speaker 1: talked to Santa? You know what I mean? Or it'll

1178
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,320
Speaker 1: be somebody like I said it from my friend the

1179
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 1: other day and I was like, are you pregnant? And

1180
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:26,960
Speaker 1: she's like, oh my stop