Speaker 1: Listening to mess mess, welcome to mess.
Speaker 2: But remember there was a song that I was singing.
Speaker 1: Because woman let me be a woman. Okay, messy, messy woman. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't remember you singing that.
Speaker 3: Remember that you don't remember anything? Whoa, You got to
Speaker 3: stop smoking weed?
Speaker 4: Why I remember to smoke weed? And that's on the
Speaker 4: period I had smoked today.
Speaker 1: Though, good for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if the listeners don't know, I mean, this is
Speaker 3: coming out afterwards, but it's June teenth.
Speaker 4: It's June teenth, and they got us in the studio working,
Speaker 4: and every person in the studio that's working for us also.
Speaker 2: Black black black, black, black on black on.
Speaker 1: Black on black on black. I haven't seen a white
Speaker 1: person all day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, the trains were very empty.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's maybe that's what June Teeth is all about.
Speaker 1: It's like white erasure.
Speaker 2: With your chest, Mama's.
Speaker 4: With my thirty two seat. Yeah, maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 4: We get a break from the beige. Well, I will say,
Speaker 4: we do have some beige listeners.
Speaker 2: We appreciate y'all.
Speaker 4: Y'all not like the rest of them, you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying. Sure, but they also not like us, so
Speaker 4: it's different. Like I was talking to my mom about
Speaker 4: what Juneteenth means today, and she was like, she was like,
Speaker 4: what a medmean? I was like, I think it's the thirteenth.
Speaker 4: I'm like Google, She's like, what year nineteen third? I
Speaker 4: was like, I think it was eighteen something. We got there, though,
Speaker 4: we got there.
Speaker 2: No child left behind. Huh.
Speaker 1: Well, my mom is from Haiti. She don't knowhing about Juneteenth.
Speaker 1: Juneteenth is new. It just came out.
Speaker 2: I hope Ice is not listening.
Speaker 1: Why, I guess wouldn't be listening to us. You never know.
Speaker 1: I was born here. I'm a citizen.
Speaker 4: Ice, Come get me.
Speaker 1: Think where you're gonna send me back to New York.
Speaker 2: Back to New York.
Speaker 4: So you know how, I ordered some boots from Essence
Speaker 4: that didn't really fit me. Yes, and so I sent
Speaker 4: them back and they sent me a picture of the
Speaker 4: bottom of the boots and they said, hey, you wore these,
Speaker 4: we can't accept them. I wore them from my bedroom
Speaker 4: to my kitchen, yes, And they were like, uhh.
Speaker 1: You wore them out.
Speaker 4: So I've been dodging the ups man for a couple
Speaker 4: of months.
Speaker 1: I was away a few weeks ago.
Speaker 4: The package was waiting for me at the dough when
Speaker 4: I got home. So I've been trying to figure out
Speaker 4: if I can just return the package to sender by
Speaker 4: writing return to sender on the box.
Speaker 1: Is that does that work? Like that? Girl?
Speaker 4: It don't matter if you send the boots back? Have
Speaker 4: they taken? Have they given you your money back? Somebody
Speaker 4: else paid for the boots. I just don't want them in.
Speaker 4: They don't fit me.
Speaker 1: They're a little bit too small and the box is massive.
Speaker 2: We'll just sell them, just sell them.
Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Deep hop?
Speaker 4: That feels like more steps than getting a sharpie and
Speaker 4: writing turn to send her or friend.
Speaker 2: You can go on your page and be like.
Speaker 1: Give away, who has who has the size? Giveaway?
Speaker 4: Meaning I then got to pay to ship it to them.
Speaker 4: If I right return to sender, it's gonna go for free.
Speaker 2: No no, no no. They have to be in New York.
Speaker 1: How about that? So they gotta come get it?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe give them away at your next show, Sydney.
Speaker 4: I gotta bring this big app This is a These
Speaker 4: are over the knee boots.
Speaker 1: You didn't you didn't say that?
Speaker 4: These long mind you wish it's about to be July.
Speaker 4: These long boots in July.
Speaker 1: Girl, give it to an unhoused person.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's mess that? Why is that the mess? O sides
Speaker 1: you wear? You seem like you got a small foot. Okay,
Speaker 1: oh yeah they'll.
Speaker 4: Fit you then, Okay, yeah, look at that. Wow, you're
Speaker 4: gonna come and get them?
Speaker 1: Wow? Put them in an overpackage.
Speaker 3: Maria is always finding a way like how can I
Speaker 3: give away something or get something?
Speaker 4: No, Sydney, I wasn't trying to give them away. I
Speaker 4: was trying to send them back. You trying to get
Speaker 4: me to give them away. I was workshopping something. You're right,
Speaker 4: that's mess, Wow, Sydney Mother Teresa Washington. Yeah, maybe you're
Speaker 4: not messed. Maybe I'm messed for not thinking about giving
Speaker 4: them away. I just want to get the biggest box
Speaker 4: out of my house.
Speaker 2: Totally understand.
Speaker 1: It's like a small college refrigerator.
Speaker 4: Hey, you know what, I know how hard it is
Speaker 4: to like task tasks are very hard. That's why I'm
Speaker 4: so bad at Newly because once I'm done with it,
Speaker 4: I have to send it back and that's my issue.
Speaker 4: I'll just keep it in my apartment for months and
Speaker 4: they're and they're charging me each month.
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 4: Yes, I thought if you had if you had one,
Speaker 4: they didn't charge you for the next month.
Speaker 2: They charge you for the next month.
Speaker 1: Girl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's another and that's another task.
Speaker 1: Listen.
Speaker 4: I paused my newly a couple of months ago and
Speaker 4: then my I lost my card. I lost my car
Speaker 4: that it was on and they unpaused it. But they
Speaker 4: were like, hey, we can't the cars work.
Speaker 1: They just did that to me too. They said, he
Speaker 1: we're not going through. And it's like, if the car
Speaker 1: is not working, cancel it. Then I get and they did.
Speaker 3: They canceled it. God's planned. Okay, I think that's going
Speaker 3: to happen to me. See, everything works in our favor.
Speaker 3: We are God's favorite. Yeah for sure.
Speaker 4: Amen boop, what's my mess?
Speaker 1: Girl?
Speaker 2: You were there for it? And so were you?
Speaker 1: Share it? The listeners were not there.
Speaker 3: We had we have a monthly shown with a mina.
Speaker 3: It's called Sundays and you know, we get up there,
Speaker 3: we host we have a good time. I'm on stage,
Speaker 3: minding my business, doing my jokes. Who do I see
Speaker 3: an X in the audience? An X was in the audience,
Speaker 3: didn't give me the heads up? Then text me bought
Speaker 3: a ticket, so cute cute for you because you are
Speaker 3: a fan, but I think there's got to be some protocol.
Speaker 3: You can't just show up at somebody's job.
Speaker 1: And he was dressed.
Speaker 4: Killer like a geisha at African Geisha.
Speaker 3: He was giving, you know, thank you, thank you for
Speaker 3: supporting the arts.
Speaker 1: But it was it was strange, like, if.
Speaker 3: You're gonna come to my job, right, you got to
Speaker 3: be in the shadows, you got to be in the back.
Speaker 1: You got to be by the bar. I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to see he was so close.
Speaker 3: And then I'm not even gonna say the second part. Well,
Speaker 3: I'll talk about it on the Patreon, the second part
Speaker 3: of it because it was actually very rude because then
Speaker 3: he made a post. I ain't gonna say the rest,
Speaker 3: but yeah, it was really upsetting because first of all,
Speaker 3: I just need to this one I'm gonna put out there.
Speaker 3: If I dated you and you were a man, I'm
Speaker 3: gay now, so that don't even count. I don't even
Speaker 3: know what who's this man? Sydney said it fell off
Speaker 3: her credit report. It fell off, And that's how I
Speaker 3: have addressed. I should have treated him like, oh hello,
Speaker 3: what's your name?
Speaker 1: No, but that's not what you did. I was actually
Speaker 1: kind of it was kind of mess do it. Sidney
Speaker 1: was like, my ex is here, and then she pointed
Speaker 1: to him and she's like, you're good, and me and
Speaker 1: a Mina were gagged.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you look good.
Speaker 4: Anytime you bump into your ex after you've left them,
Speaker 4: you want them to look distraught, disheveled. You want them
Speaker 4: to be dragging the leg behind them. You just want
Speaker 4: them to be doing bad.
Speaker 2: Well girl, First of all, the issue is is that.
Speaker 1: I just was. I had no words to speak.
Speaker 4: Well.
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't know how to be mean.
Speaker 1: That's my problem. That's a lie. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know what I mean. That's how to be mean?
Speaker 1: Can you believe it? I've seen you be mean before.
Speaker 1: I'm such a sweetheart. That's a lie. When have I
Speaker 1: been mean? You've been mean to people that you've decided
Speaker 1: that you no longer want in your life? Is that mean?
Speaker 2: Or is that creating a boundary and standing on business?
Speaker 1: Period?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 1: Is it?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 1: When I'm mean? Am I being mean? Or am I
Speaker 1: setting setting a boundary and standing on business? Sny? Do
Speaker 1: you lead with your heart? I lead with my mouth?
Speaker 1: Love that boundary? Yeah?
Speaker 3: So I couldn't believe it, and then he reached out.
Speaker 2: I haven't written back, but he apologized.
Speaker 1: So the number hasn't changed. No, it hasn't. And you
Speaker 1: never blocked him.
Speaker 3: I don't block excess for what I mean. I mean,
Speaker 3: he broke up with me. So there's that.
Speaker 2: I'm saying that on the record.
Speaker 1: But whoa. Well, there was a time where I wasn't
Speaker 1: I wasn't eight ship. You wasn't a ship. Yeah you
Speaker 1: ainate wasn't ship. I ate ship. It wasn't ain't you.
Speaker 1: It wasn't mean.
Speaker 2: I was ship. Ye I was shitting. I was shitting
Speaker 2: on these foes.
Speaker 1: Well, he broke so it looked wild. Is that how
Speaker 1: he used to dress when you dated him? No?
Speaker 3: No, No, he's a he's a trainer, so he would
Speaker 3: dress like a trainer. He have a little duffle bag
Speaker 3: and like muscle muscles showing, you know, teeth whatever. And
Speaker 3: you know, just he had a job and he has skateboard.
Speaker 3: I met him with a skateboard. That's how you know.
Speaker 3: Just times was so tough, and he tried to get
Speaker 3: me to be on his skateboard to go to his house.
Speaker 1: That's a rom com for poor people. No, kick push.
Speaker 1: I love that, And that's to Tyler Perry. Well, Tyler's
Speaker 1: busy right now. He got a lot of allegations happening.
Speaker 4: He's got so much going on in the in the kitchen.
Speaker 4: They're leaking a bunch of his text messages.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys have seen him.
Speaker 2: Oh, no, I don't. I'm busy. I'm busy.
Speaker 1: Okay, I can't. Is the water in the shot? I
Speaker 1: just want to know? Is the jug in the shot?
Speaker 1: This is? She's busy doing this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still doing it hard seven.
Speaker 1: You can't even pick it up off the table. I
Speaker 1: have not been speaking of hard seventy five. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: have a guest in here tonight. You do have a
Speaker 1: guest in here? Wow? He is writer, actor, influencer, philanthropist.
Speaker 1: Yes he is.
Speaker 5: I do be helping folks, you do.
Speaker 2: Some would call him the spca.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: He's our dear, dear friend and my guaranteur.
Speaker 1: Give it up. We're a twain person.
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. Yes, baby, it's hard not
Speaker 5: to talk to me. Are talking?
Speaker 1: Well, what do you have any like? Now's your chance
Speaker 1: to respond to anything that you heard.
Speaker 5: Oh, that whole acc thing was crazy. It was because
Speaker 5: I wanted to leave and I was like, why are
Speaker 5: you talking to this man?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Any you were talking to him after the show for
Speaker 4: quite a while.
Speaker 5: Yes, And I felt like I had to be mean
Speaker 5: because you weren't. And I was like, can we know?
Speaker 5: And then I was like I got to actually walk
Speaker 5: outside because your lack of mean is manifesting in me
Speaker 5: in a way that I didn't want to showcase.
Speaker 1: You're picking up all the mean that she's dropping.
Speaker 5: Yes, that she was not dropping.
Speaker 1: Yes, because we didn't we move rooms, we left, and
Speaker 1: y'all were still.
Speaker 5: It was three different occasions.
Speaker 2: Hadn't seen him in yes, so long.
Speaker 5: Which is crazy because then why what is there to
Speaker 5: talk about?
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm doing well, Okay, there's so much to
Speaker 3: talk about.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: See, now that's how you flip it. She's talking to
Speaker 4: him about how.
Speaker 1: Great she's doing.
Speaker 3: I love everything you're doing. I'm proud of you. I mean,
Speaker 3: he was there when I started comedy.
Speaker 5: Actually, so that was like an ego boost.
Speaker 4: I don't know, Hey, I don't understand, man, I don't
Speaker 4: speak man, I don't know.
Speaker 2: He was he was about.
Speaker 5: For you, Oh what do you mean talking to him?
Speaker 5: You were just talking to him to like boost yourself up,
Speaker 5: to tell him how great you were doing.
Speaker 3: You know, thank you for unpacking all of this. These
Speaker 3: are great questions. I cannot come back to them. Can
Speaker 3: circle back?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Put a pin?
Speaker 2: What about Marie? What about her mess?
Speaker 1: Oh the boots? Yeah? I forgot what my mess was?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah she.
Speaker 5: I don't know why you just couldn't leave them on
Speaker 5: the street. Is New York free?
Speaker 1: Somebody? I could do that, but Beckha might want them?
Speaker 1: Yeah that's better.
Speaker 4: Yes, Rather a stylish person put them on and then
Speaker 4: it's their problem.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Or you could have put it out on the
Speaker 5: street then when Day saw them, and maybe maybe you
Speaker 5: could have made it to Mary J. Blige or something
Speaker 5: she could have had.
Speaker 1: You think Mary J Blige is going to end up
Speaker 1: with my street boots?
Speaker 5: Yeah, well you never know.
Speaker 2: She has a bigger she has a bigger foot than you.
Speaker 1: For sure.
Speaker 5: It's New York City, the city of.
Speaker 1: Dream hung he knew, yea.
Speaker 4: Now, I just want to put both things of water
Speaker 4: side by side, because y'all are doing hard seventy five together.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I convinced Sydney to do it with me because I
Speaker 5: did not want to know about myself.
Speaker 1: So you are the originator.
Speaker 5: Yes, accountability is better when there's an accountability partner.
Speaker 1: True, it's better to do it with somebody.
Speaker 5: I think we live in the same house. So if
Speaker 5: she wasn't doing it, I would have been very upset
Speaker 5: every time I saw her eat a piece of bread.
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about it. Y'all. Can't eat no bread?
Speaker 5: Well she can't. I gave up bread, fried food, sugars.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 5: And I also, I'm sober while I'm in New York. Oh,
Speaker 5: terrible time.
Speaker 1: Sober like California sober.
Speaker 4: No just like no alcohol, no, no weed, no drugs,
Speaker 4: no nothing, no joy.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Marie, it's been hard.
Speaker 1: There's joy in sobriety.
Speaker 5: Yeah, with practice. But this is new for me. So
Speaker 5: there are like in the summertime I have to it's hard,
Speaker 5: Like there's moments where I'm like, damn, this is when
Speaker 5: I would smoke. Then I gotta go do something else
Speaker 5: like exercise.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah. Sleep.
Speaker 3: Uh, sleeping is good. I think sleeping is a great one.
Speaker 5: Like other vices, what go to aniga?
Speaker 2: Oh, well I don't have I can't do that.
Speaker 5: But yes, it's just just anything like I tried to
Speaker 5: read thumb whoa.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was part of the heard seventy five is
Speaker 1: you got to read ten pages a day.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't. I ain't doing that part.
Speaker 1: I started that with you, Sydney. I read.
Speaker 4: I made it to like thirty maybe forty something pages,
Speaker 4: and the book, you know what it is, The book sucked.
Speaker 1: I said, what book is it? Put it? Put it out?
Speaker 1: You know. Remember it's a book that I got for free.
Speaker 5: That it is. And then like, I'll be writing. So
Speaker 5: I consider me reading my own writing to be reading,
Speaker 5: I say, and I'm getting paid for this. I actually
Speaker 5: have a better program.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm reading the artist Way and it's I mean,
Speaker 3: whenever I can, I'm reading the Artist's Way.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, as you go.
Speaker 5: I tried to read it. It was a little difficult for me.
Speaker 2: Why is it difficult.
Speaker 5: I think it's for a certain type of person.
Speaker 2: The one that believes in God.
Speaker 5: No, one that's a little insecure. Oh, it's a lot
Speaker 5: of like believe in yourself. And I'm like, already have
Speaker 5: that part. Girl, get to the task, Like what are
Speaker 5: we doing?
Speaker 3: The task is doing the solo dates and you know,
Speaker 3: doing the morning pages.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but to get there is her being like, I
Speaker 5: help this banker be happy again, and I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna fuck about this banker low key, Like it's
Speaker 5: just it feels very self congratulatory in a way that
Speaker 5: I just don't care. Like the voice of the book
Speaker 5: is not my favorite.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh white Lady wrote it. Yeah, come on, he
Speaker 1: said that you like the book.
Speaker 3: I mean, he says, for someone who's insecure, I wouldn't
Speaker 3: say that I'm insecure.
Speaker 2: I think that because I'm working.
Speaker 1: Through did you just did you move?
Speaker 5: Looked at my finger. I looked at my hand.
Speaker 1: Because you know you're shady. I am not you are.
Speaker 5: No, I don't mean insecure like a bad way. I
Speaker 5: do mean like insecuring.
Speaker 1: He said, they're not for somebody who's insecure.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that they're not secure in their artistry. Literally, that's
Speaker 5: why they're reading a book about how to work their artistry.
Speaker 5: So why were you doing it to see if there
Speaker 5: was new ways to expand not to create it. So
Speaker 5: it's very different. We're just at different places and I'm
Speaker 5: looking for more like pitches, not necessarily like oh, you're
Speaker 5: a garbage man and you want to find some artistic
Speaker 5: way to live. That's like not I don't need that.
Speaker 1: Garbage.
Speaker 6: Man.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I already like have an artistic way. I'm
Speaker 5: just trying to see if there are other ways to
Speaker 5: expand that, to see if I can glean something from it.
Speaker 1: Well, then the title would be the other artist's way.
Speaker 5: And that's why I stopped reading it.
Speaker 1: I got a book. It's called Steal Like an artist, Marie.
Speaker 2: That's so on brand for you.
Speaker 1: WHOA what that means?
Speaker 5: It's true, most art is stomach And I would say, like,
Speaker 5: as a screenwriter, that's all it is. You just look
Speaker 5: at somebody that's movie and then you just do that.
Speaker 4: How we struggle trying to the original steal so.
Speaker 5: Many times I said, we can do something so quick.
Speaker 1: Dwayne, I don't think you told me this a bunch
Speaker 1: of times. You have told Sidney this. He told both
Speaker 1: of us. Win, we're not listening, said, you can't remember.
Speaker 5: We were in LA We were both in a car.
Speaker 5: We were outside of your ex's house, and I remember
Speaker 5: we were talking this.
Speaker 1: Is this dent.
Speaker 2: No, No, it's the case of the X for me
Speaker 2: every single time.
Speaker 5: And we were talking about like pilots and writing and
Speaker 5: just like I don't want to and I was like,
Speaker 5: but let me tell it's not. It's easy. All you
Speaker 5: gotta do is steal.
Speaker 1: Remember that's what you're saying on the pile as a writer.
Speaker 5: Still like an like as an artist, like what do
Speaker 5: you like everything? There was like twelve Steve Job movies.
Speaker 5: You think they were different? Was there twelve? And they
Speaker 5: all came out at the same time? There was one
Speaker 5: how many, well that's twelve to doing how many Cinderellas
Speaker 5: have there been? There was like four snow Whites, Like
Speaker 5: it's all the same. Ship structure, story structure is the same.
Speaker 5: You watch a movie and you know act three and bash,
Speaker 5: it's gonna happen because they got to overcome.
Speaker 1: Let's rewrite sinners.
Speaker 3: Really this is what you want, okay, but we were
Speaker 3: supposed to be twins and we don't. Look, this is
Speaker 3: the rewrite. Ye, it'll be a comedy. I mean it'll
Speaker 3: be like vampires in Brooklyn meet.
Speaker 5: Cinner see but that's too close vampire, yes, or like
Speaker 5: mummies or some mummy.
Speaker 3: It's like, you want us to be mummy and the
Speaker 3: whole thing is that, you know the look yeah, but
Speaker 3: we'll be mummies.
Speaker 5: That have bought so it's like, yeah, so you're the
Speaker 5: like you are unwrapped at the beginning and the people
Speaker 5: are like, oh, they're black, lady, mummy mummies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's.
Speaker 5: The name of it.
Speaker 1: Black.
Speaker 3: They know that the mummies are black because through tendrils
Speaker 3: in between.
Speaker 5: Your wraps and ma, I'm a mummy, but I have
Speaker 5: a zoobie, you know what I mean. It's a full
Speaker 5: and it just goes around your whole.
Speaker 4: By what, I'm gonna have a New Yorker chain and everything.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be wearing Thames. That that's how they know.
Speaker 1: Sinners.
Speaker 2: I like this, sinners. But mummy Bran, Hey, we're doing pictures.
Speaker 1: These glasses are giving. The glasses with the sleepless sweater
Speaker 1: vests is given.
Speaker 5: Hollywood, thank you so much.
Speaker 2: It's giving secure.
Speaker 5: I think in its artistry, I think that is the
Speaker 5: biggest issue in the world right now. Whoa well for me?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 5: People being insecure like people not having like a strong
Speaker 5: sense of self and it causes a lot of issues.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think a lot of insecurities start like wars
Speaker 1: and battles and.
Speaker 4: Like if you knew who you were, then little things
Speaker 4: would bother you less, maybe even some big things because
Speaker 4: you'd be like you did that and I don't like it,
Speaker 4: but yeah, I'm too busy to.
Speaker 5: Caud you say it how you feel it was real? Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's like my Ugh, that's what I struggle with now.
Speaker 5: I was telling Sydney that I don't want to be
Speaker 5: nice anymore, like tired nice.
Speaker 2: Well let's let's rewhind Duane.
Speaker 5: Yes you're here.
Speaker 1: What's your mess?
Speaker 5: I am? My mess is I Niceness I think has
Speaker 5: to go. I think as a nation as a people,
Speaker 5: we've moved past nice as a nation, as a nation,
Speaker 5: as a people, as a people, as a society.
Speaker 1: But a lot of people aren't nice exactly.
Speaker 5: That's what I was, like, what a lot I think
Speaker 5: the attempt at trying to be nice, Like I think
Speaker 5: that's like is what's ruining it because I think that
Speaker 5: the people that are not nice they're living in their truth,
Speaker 5: and the people that are trying to be nice are not.
Speaker 5: And it creates a situation to where like if you
Speaker 5: not nice, I know this similar to like racism. We're
Speaker 5: like overt racism just be like, oh you hate niggas cool,
Speaker 5: But the people that pretend like they don't, then he's like, oh,
Speaker 5: why'd you waste my time when I know you hate niggas.
Speaker 5: Similar to that, I bean like nice. If you're not nice,
Speaker 5: I know that immediately because you're not nice. It's people
Speaker 5: who hate niggas that I know how to navigate that.
Speaker 4: It's crazy, Yes, people who don't like black people and
Speaker 4: they have black children.
Speaker 5: And I hate it. And I feel like I've been
Speaker 5: in a lot of situations where people were being nice
Speaker 5: and I was like, I'd rather you not because this
Speaker 5: is not helping the situation. This is actually not serving us.
Speaker 5: You're trying to be nice. You're actually wasting my fucking time.
Speaker 1: So if you had all.
Speaker 4: The rings and you could snap your finger and erase
Speaker 4: niceness in the world, you would do that.
Speaker 5: Probably, Not, that wouldn't be the first thing.
Speaker 1: What's the first thing?
Speaker 5: You was orias, it's not. I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: Ciass, that's what you have.
Speaker 5: That's what came to mind. No, I would the first
Speaker 5: thing would probably be insecurity. Oh yeah, that's good. I
Speaker 5: think that would really how.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, I think the wrong people are insecure
Speaker 4: and the people who should be insecure are not.
Speaker 3: They're the ones that are, Like, you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: make a business and I'm gonna tell everybody to do this,
Speaker 3: and I'm not qualified, but you know what, I should
Speaker 3: be president like things of that sort.
Speaker 4: We should be in I hear what you're saying. But
Speaker 4: everybody is insecure about something. Every single person alive, confident
Speaker 4: or not, has at least one insecurity something.
Speaker 5: That they don't and I think if we replace that
Speaker 5: with simply discernment, then we could be solution based instead
Speaker 5: of just having any motion.
Speaker 1: Now, for the people listening who don't know what discernment means,
Speaker 1: what I means.
Speaker 4: That's the word of the day. Discernment the ability to discern,
Speaker 4: the discern.
Speaker 1: Is discerned, Alex.
Speaker 5: What's discern is the ability to see in process something.
Speaker 5: Oh that's what this whole yeah, to like have like
Speaker 5: a knowledge of opinion based off information. So instead of
Speaker 5: being like, oh, I'm insecure, like I feel insecure about
Speaker 5: the situation, you're like, oh, this situation makes me feel this,
Speaker 5: and because of that, I feel this way versus just
Speaker 5: having any emotion. You know, what's the point of having that.
Speaker 5: You're looking for the origin of that and then finding
Speaker 5: a solution feeling it.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie to you, friend, I'm confused, but
Speaker 3: what you're saying feels right.
Speaker 1: It feels right, yeah, Sidney, and I we lack discern.
Speaker 5: For example, Okay, so something that I said in the
Speaker 5: car when we were talking about pilots, for example, You're like, oh,
Speaker 5: I know people who are like doing stuff and writing pilots,
Speaker 5: and because I have not, like comparing yourself to them.
Speaker 5: And I was like, you haven't written a pilot, so
Speaker 5: you should compare yourself to people who also have not
Speaker 5: written pilot, because why would you compare yourself to somebody
Speaker 5: who you're not even doing the same thing.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 4: If I haven't done it, I should be comparing myself
Speaker 4: to people who also haven't done it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and if you do, you should feel normal because
Speaker 5: y'all at the same place.
Speaker 1: Actually, I actually feel better than them, but I feel
Speaker 1: worse than the others, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: That's what I say. Always compare yourself to the worst.
Speaker 5: Why are you can pay yourself to the best? That's crazy, you.
Speaker 4: Know, because I feel like if I compare myself to
Speaker 4: the best, and it's gonna make me want to be better.
Speaker 4: But if I compare myself to the worst, then it's
Speaker 4: like I'm good where I'm at, yeah, and I don't
Speaker 4: want to be good where I'm at.
Speaker 5: And that's why you now have to have discernmined about
Speaker 5: who you are. Some people, if you do compare yourself
Speaker 5: to the best, it may be create a thing where
Speaker 5: you're like, oh, they're too far, there's no point in
Speaker 5: me trying to reach that. You have to know yourself
Speaker 5: to know what's the best way to accomplish waying.
Speaker 1: Do you have a master's degree?
Speaker 5: I know, I just have had therapy since I was
Speaker 5: like in kindergarten because I had a speech.
Speaker 1: Impediment therapy for people with a stutter.
Speaker 5: That's because my stutter was attached to my emotions. So
Speaker 5: I had to know myself in order to be able
Speaker 5: to speak.
Speaker 1: Oh so you get like so angry or like.
Speaker 5: So I was just anxious all the time, so like
Speaker 5: my body would like go into fight or flight and situations.
Speaker 5: So I had to like mentally and emotionally control my
Speaker 5: emotions to be able to tell my body like, oh,
Speaker 5: it's okay to speak, because I think that's what larynx
Speaker 5: were like.
Speaker 1: I literally think I have those.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 3: I think I have a speech impediment when I'm like
Speaker 3: anxious or what I'm thinking. It's like going so fast
Speaker 3: that when I speak my words jumble up.
Speaker 1: You're not you don't get it. Same thing that Dwyane
Speaker 1: Junior had.
Speaker 5: I just had like a really bad stutter where like
Speaker 5: I actually like was like it wouldn't come out.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, No, No I didn't. I don't have a stutter.
Speaker 1: I just I guess.
Speaker 2: I guess I got a thick tongue.
Speaker 4: Maybe I have something doing. He did say she was
Speaker 4: a good time. So he said that people y'all know,
Speaker 4: y'all know that was that was a Yelp review five stars.
Speaker 5: That mouth.
Speaker 1: Now that is a mess. I'm delivered. I don't do that,
Speaker 1: no one. Okay. I'm not with Metro no more. I'm
Speaker 1: with AKMC. Okay.
Speaker 4: So now you have all the discernment you need and
Speaker 4: you're just trying to find.
Speaker 5: I'm like, like it's just it's a constant thing. But
Speaker 5: I just feel like So I had this like situation,
Speaker 5: like a work situation where I was talking to somebody
Speaker 5: about a note just and it was like just very blunt,
Speaker 5: just being like, oh I don't agree with this for
Speaker 5: this reason. This is kind of And then we had
Speaker 5: a call afterwards to be like, hey, I think we
Speaker 5: should like talk nicer to each other. And I was like, hey,
Speaker 5: I think nice is pretty subjective because you think it's language,
Speaker 5: and I think it's in using my time well, And
Speaker 5: so we had the conversation. He and they were like, Okay,
Speaker 5: that makes sense because I was like, you are worried
Speaker 5: about like the observation, like what it like looks like,
Speaker 5: and you think just me talking softer to you is nice.
Speaker 5: And I think, hey, actually, if we weren't so worried
Speaker 5: about being nice and we just got to the point,
Speaker 5: I can go live my life. I don't want to
Speaker 5: be here. You're wasting my time. You think that's nice.
Speaker 4: You're kind of County's blonde happy Pridet.
Speaker 1: Are you gay?
Speaker 4: Are you the gay? No, It's just like he's willing
Speaker 4: me a slater. That's a that's a deep.
Speaker 5: It's just like I I came back to New York
Speaker 5: from LA because I feel like work was just like
Speaker 5: overtaking my life, and I think like life has to
Speaker 5: be lived in order to like produce good work. So
Speaker 5: I'm trying to live life. And the way that these
Speaker 5: systems work, they just want life and that's just not
Speaker 5: my thing. Like I don't.
Speaker 4: But also if all you do is work and not live,
Speaker 4: then the work suffers, cause like I know comics that
Speaker 4: only do comedy and they never are not on stage.
Speaker 1: They're never taking trips, they're never.
Speaker 4: Going on vacation, and it's like, how are you pulling
Speaker 4: source material? How are you finding stuff to talk about
Speaker 4: and connect with people on If all you ever do
Speaker 4: is be on stage and be around comedians, it's all
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, Yeah, it's just not a
Speaker 4: useful time of like creating memories and writing new jokes
Speaker 4: or some people just write based off like the current events.
Speaker 2: But then that's my issue.
Speaker 3: It's like you're always talking and making jokes about what
Speaker 3: other people are doing, but you're not doing you Why
Speaker 3: don't you focus on your own events and situations so
Speaker 3: you'll have something to talk about and.
Speaker 1: Were making money? Duwayne is making money.
Speaker 4: Imagine being rich and not being able to enjoy being
Speaker 4: rich because you gotta work for more money.
Speaker 5: That's literally what Like, that's capitalism just once you get
Speaker 5: it's like up until the Writer's strike. I got my
Speaker 5: first job in twenty seventeen, and my first break was
Speaker 5: the writer strike, and I was like, Yo, my life
Speaker 5: has been all work, and it like I had to
Speaker 5: like change a bunch of shit because it was just
Speaker 5: not fulfilling. And so now I'm at this place where
Speaker 5: I'm like, yeah, work has to exist because we live
Speaker 5: in a place where that's important, but like it could
Speaker 5: be done in a way that's just like better, Like
Speaker 5: I don't want to like do all and I like
Speaker 5: and I don't want to get it wrong, Like I'm
Speaker 5: not saying like be mean. There's a spectrum, and I
Speaker 5: think the emphasis on like nice is just not as
Speaker 5: significant to me in terms of like I could just
Speaker 5: be neutral, and I think people want me to perform yes,
Speaker 5: And I'm like, I think this is unnecessary, Like can
Speaker 5: we just like get to the point, like we're adults,
Speaker 5: we can have a conversation, Like let's just say what
Speaker 5: we need to say so we can like yeah, but.
Speaker 3: Huh, but I was gonna say, like, not everybody has
Speaker 3: the same communication skills, and not everybody has been brought
Speaker 3: up with the same like basis of communication. So what
Speaker 3: you think is straightforward for somebody else is like mean,
Speaker 3: and what somebody else is straightforward, it's like, oh, you're
Speaker 3: being too nice, so you never know what it is
Speaker 3: depending on the people you're working with.
Speaker 5: Yes, And that's why I think it's just a conversation
Speaker 5: to be like, hey, like what do we like what
Speaker 5: is the best way to do this? Esp As if
Speaker 5: it's like business, like if we're talking about productivity, like
Speaker 5: what is the best way to be productive?
Speaker 4: But when you think about businessmen, right, people who are
Speaker 4: considered bosses, they don't.
Speaker 1: Have to be nice. They're not supposed to be nice.
Speaker 1: They're a boss.
Speaker 4: They show up, they say what they want, you know
Speaker 4: what their standard of like their standard is of what
Speaker 4: they expect to be done when they get there and
Speaker 4: when they're talking to you, and then they go off
Speaker 4: and they do their thing, and you'd.
Speaker 1: Be like, who I did it? I survived that?
Speaker 4: But like women, Not to make this about women, but
Speaker 4: I will women. And when women are assertive and women
Speaker 4: know what they want and women are like kind of
Speaker 4: very like concise and cutthroat, it's like, WHOA, she was
Speaker 4: a bitch, or she don't know what she's talking about,
Speaker 4: or she could have been nicer, and YadA, YadA YadA.
Speaker 4: But what I learned watching all the Beyonce documentaries, like
Speaker 4: Beyonce Knows what she wants and she's a perfectionist. She's
Speaker 4: not she's not being nasty, but she's being very like
Speaker 4: kind of Kurt.
Speaker 5: Yes, And I feel like that's the energy that I bring.
Speaker 5: And I think because my like lived personality is like fine,
Speaker 5: bubbly cute, people expect that in business and I'm like, no,
Speaker 5: this is business. And then they be gagged and be
Speaker 5: like mom, be like gay and happier, and I'm like,
Speaker 5: oh no.
Speaker 3: But wait, what's the difference between that and Ellen degenerous?
Speaker 1: Was she really being being mean?
Speaker 5: Yes? Okay, like she was being like me, And that's
Speaker 5: the thing, Like, what can you.
Speaker 3: Give me the examples so that we know what mean
Speaker 3: is and we know what like being straightforward?
Speaker 1: I mean she lost her whole job showed.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, like if I was.
Speaker 3: Like, that's the homophobia of it all, because if she
Speaker 3: was a straight man, I don't know if she would
Speaker 3: have lost everything. Because we know so many people in
Speaker 3: the industry or just at regular jobs that are being
Speaker 3: met and they.
Speaker 1: Still have it.
Speaker 5: Yeah. But I think that's the problem that everybody's comparing
Speaker 5: themselves to the best worst person and they're doing it
Speaker 5: and it's like okay, and you want to be them,
Speaker 5: like you just want power so that you can abuse it, right, Like, nah,
Speaker 5: pick a better hobby, like just do it better. Like,
Speaker 5: especially when we're entering these spaces where we are. Something
Speaker 5: that I hate is when people.
Speaker 4: The glasses, because the glasses really got you, like you you, I.
Speaker 1: Don't see you like this and very much so.
Speaker 4: Like Okay, they said Ellen DeGeneres was just a really
Speaker 4: mean boss. Right, there's a list of small complaints, like
Speaker 4: people being told to never ever make eye contact with her.
Speaker 1: Now we know plenty of celebrities who can't look at
Speaker 1: them in the eye.
Speaker 4: J Lo. With these people, I think, and not just
Speaker 4: one of these people, like you're not supposed to look
Speaker 4: in the eyeballs.
Speaker 5: That's and I think that reaches a line of like
Speaker 5: I think all I'm thinking about is through like a
Speaker 5: regular human lens, Like we are humans. This is a
Speaker 5: human experience. I think that's crazy to be like, don't
Speaker 5: look me in the eye.
Speaker 4: How successful, Dwayne do you need to be to be
Speaker 4: like don't don't look at me.
Speaker 5: I don't think I will ever. That feels crazy, Like
Speaker 5: I feel like that reaches that point of being like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're just now doing shit, because you can like and
Speaker 5: I don't think that I'll ever be at a place
Speaker 5: to where I feel like I need to control people
Speaker 5: in that way.
Speaker 4: Ellen tried to have a lady fired for serving food
Speaker 4: with chipped nail polish.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's really.
Speaker 5: And like and you would have those thoughts, but you
Speaker 5: just can't actually like. I remember I went to a
Speaker 5: dance class ones like years ago, and this man was
Speaker 5: wearing a blazer and I don't know, they made yes performing.
Speaker 5: It made me irrationally upset.
Speaker 2: Please explain the blazers.
Speaker 5: And we were doing jip and I said business cash crazy.
Speaker 2: Didn't wait, didn't have shoulder pads like what arrested?
Speaker 5: And I said, what the hell? And in my mind
Speaker 5: I said, arrested, jail, get him out of here immediately straight.
Speaker 5: If I had power, I could actually do that. That
Speaker 5: would be crazy. Excuse me, you have to leave for what.
Speaker 1: Was under the blazer? Was it buttoned all the way?
Speaker 1: Was it shorts?
Speaker 5: Was he wearing he was kind of wearing like shorts
Speaker 5: and then like a business like it was like party
Speaker 5: on the bottom, business on top. And I was like,
Speaker 5: maybe he came from like an interview or something like
Speaker 5: I don't know, but for sure I don't like this.
Speaker 1: But also that's his business. I feel like him.
Speaker 3: I had for him, and it's not for anybody else.
Speaker 3: And you can't be like, hey, you got to get
Speaker 3: out of here.
Speaker 5: And that's what I had to let it go because
Speaker 5: I said, this is this is irrational.
Speaker 1: You can't really you can't really pop off in a
Speaker 1: blazer in a dance class. Was he dancing?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't giving like.
Speaker 5: Boom cac No, it was giving. I met the off.
Speaker 1: He's like, where's the machine? Maybe it was a there.
Speaker 1: Maybe somebody was like, I dare you to do this
Speaker 1: dance class.
Speaker 5: I get that I would. I would participate in something
Speaker 5: like that. I love daring people to do things.
Speaker 2: I'm glad that you're still yes, bring it out.
Speaker 5: And so I just like if I actually were to
Speaker 5: exercise that in real life, that would make me like
Speaker 5: a crazy person. Been like, yeah, but you got ship,
Speaker 5: nail polish, get out of here.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I think, but there is like the thing with
Speaker 3: j Lo I remember allegedly she was having her you know,
Speaker 3: baby shower at a rooftop at a hotel.
Speaker 1: And you were there.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm just all alleged would know what she was it was.
Speaker 3: It was very like with Caviar, it was it was salad,
Speaker 3: you know, a lot of garnish and things of that sort,
Speaker 3: you know, like, but she didn't want stop us.
Speaker 2: It was there was no top us there.
Speaker 3: It was not Zoe, but she didn't want like the
Speaker 3: people who were working to talk to her, like they
Speaker 3: have to talk to I guess the liaison. And yes,
Speaker 3: that's kind of bitchy, But you also have to understand
Speaker 3: people be mad unprofessional with celebrities and they just be
Speaker 3: getting real chummy and they be doing too much and
Speaker 3: the next thing you know, you talk to them, Oh,
Speaker 3: can you take a picture for my cousin who's in
Speaker 3: you know, Puerto Rican.
Speaker 4: No, so I get that. I get Hey, first of all,
Speaker 4: it's my baby shower.
Speaker 1: Why are you talking to me. There's a there's a
Speaker 1: wedding planner.
Speaker 4: Not a wedding planner, that's j Loo. It's an event planner.
Speaker 4: Everything should go through them anyway. But like if we
Speaker 4: randomly happened to be in the same space for a second,
Speaker 4: I should be able to say, I think.
Speaker 5: Like those are just boundaries, and I think they like
Speaker 5: people are like individual. It was like, yeah, and those
Speaker 5: people who are crazy are just crazy people, and then
Speaker 5: there are people who are just like normal that you're like, oh,
Speaker 5: and I don't think you. I mean, I guess if
Speaker 5: you are at that level of fame where it's more
Speaker 5: common for crazy people to interact with you, I guess
Speaker 5: you would have strong boundaries, but like like, don't look
Speaker 5: at me like that kind of stuff, like like at
Speaker 5: your place of employment, like you are hiring these people. Yeah,
Speaker 5: that feels like, that feels crazy. I can see if
Speaker 5: you're like just on the street in a crowd being like, oh,
Speaker 5: I have to have stronger boundaries for like safety. But
Speaker 5: if you are the person curating the space and that's
Speaker 5: how you're doing it, be better at curating the space.
Speaker 5: Don't hire fucking crazy people, and then you don't have
Speaker 5: to be crazy.
Speaker 2: No, I disagree with that.
Speaker 4: I just you said, don't hire crazy people if crazy
Speaker 4: people don't walk amongst them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you mean?
Speaker 2: There's so many people people are not doing background.
Speaker 3: And also people people appear that they got it together
Speaker 3: and then three weeks in you're like whoahoa, whoa whoa
Speaker 3: whoa wa wait a minute.
Speaker 5: Say and then you fire them. You don't match. They're crazy.
Speaker 1: I got what you're saying. But we were at SNL
Speaker 1: when Jaylo was there and I was like this.
Speaker 5: Hey, were you like talking to her?
Speaker 1: No? I mean I didn't. I didn't have talked to
Speaker 1: Jaylo about Love Made of Manhattan, Like what that's like?
Speaker 5: I was. I went to like a party, like a
Speaker 5: megal like after party, and I just found myself at
Speaker 5: one point standing next to is in there and I'm obsessed
Speaker 5: with her and I said, oh, Like I looked over there.
Speaker 5: We locked eyes and I said, oh, hello, and then
Speaker 5: I was like I literally and I said, I don't
Speaker 5: know what else, like what, I don't know what to say?
Speaker 5: Like I don't she say hello back? Yeah, But that
Speaker 5: was kind of like the end of the interaction because
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't.
Speaker 4: Well, because at the end of the people are just people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're people that more people know.
Speaker 5: I agree.
Speaker 1: I feel like.
Speaker 4: It's cooler to treat them normal than to fawn all
Speaker 4: over them. And I mean this whole Doja cat with
Speaker 4: the shirt situation, she like bumped into a fan.
Speaker 1: Liked his shirt, he took it off his body and
Speaker 1: gave it to her. That's strange. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: That's that's it's I he had been in the club,
Speaker 1: he had been in the floor. I don't want your.
Speaker 4: Shirt that I don't want to shut off the back
Speaker 4: off your back.
Speaker 1: I don't need it.
Speaker 5: And that was the whole conversation, like like was she
Speaker 5: fake and blah blah blah. And I'm like, like, I
Speaker 5: think I have a lot more empathy for like marginalized people,
Speaker 5: so like as a woman, I'm like, maybe she could
Speaker 5: have been like, oh, maybe if she was like no, actually,
Speaker 5: I don't want to fuck with you, and maybe she
Speaker 5: did feel more pressure to play along.
Speaker 1: They hugged a bunch of times. He kissed her on
Speaker 1: the cheek.
Speaker 5: She was like manhandled, so he grabbed her arm and
Speaker 5: put his face next to her. Next thing, and like
Speaker 5: maybe in real time it's like not you're just like
Speaker 5: kind of rolle with the punches. But later you're like
Speaker 5: I don't want that man.
Speaker 1: Video about it.
Speaker 2: You give a man an inch and then the next
Speaker 2: thing he's giving you his shirt. That's so weird.
Speaker 5: Like I do think you're like even as like I
Speaker 5: do more like I was I was doing like a
Speaker 5: like a talk with like this mentor group, and this
Speaker 5: woman was like, oh, like I saw you at a
Speaker 5: mall and came up to you and was like telling
Speaker 5: you about the Blackening and like how I liked it
Speaker 5: and you were so nice. No, and then I asked
Speaker 5: her like how was it and then She's like, oh, no,
Speaker 5: like you were very nice. And then I was like cool,
Speaker 5: like I am, like I'm not. I talked to strangers
Speaker 5: all the time that there's nothing too like, I'm just
Speaker 5: very grateful. But I feel like if that would happen
Speaker 5: all the time. Like I remember the first weekend the
Speaker 5: movie came out, I went to a party in La
Speaker 5: and I was so overwhelmed because it was just like
Speaker 5: a new feeling and I was like, oh my, is
Speaker 5: this what?
Speaker 2: Who are these people like fans?
Speaker 5: And I just never experienced that until then, And I
Speaker 5: was like, I hope I'm doing this right, like like
Speaker 5: just I think I'm gaining a little bit more empathy
Speaker 5: for famous people just because I'm seeing that. It's just.
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely going to be a cell phone at somebody
Speaker 4: that call. They're gonna have to carry you everywhere. You're
Speaker 4: gonna be like no pictures, please, don't look out, don't
Speaker 4: look at me.
Speaker 5: I think that like there is a man. I guess
Speaker 5: it's not controllable, but I think there is a level
Speaker 5: of control that you can try to have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't you want to get not too famous?
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean yeah, Like I just don't. Yeah, I
Speaker 5: don't think it's the fame Like I want money, I
Speaker 5: want access, I want power. I want to be able
Speaker 5: to do what I want to do creatively. I think
Speaker 5: somebody who I think is up the perfect amount of
Speaker 5: famous to me is Seth Rogan. I think that like
Speaker 5: he people know him and he does what he like does,
Speaker 5: but it's all like work based. I don't know shit
Speaker 5: about that man's life. Like I know, like he's cool
Speaker 5: to work with, he make cool shit, he has a
Speaker 5: weak company. Like, but if I see him on the street,
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, that's Seth Brogan. And I've seen people
Speaker 5: be like, oh that's suck like I've seen Jordan Peel.
Speaker 5: But it wasn't like people running up to him.
Speaker 4: It was just like I have to think about who
Speaker 4: these people's fans are.
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1: I think Ceth Fan is going to be a slow
Speaker 1: stoner Yeah, and that's what pee Fan is going to be.
Speaker 4: Somebody who probably has a dark accent wall in the
Speaker 4: apartment and they don't make o contact with people when
Speaker 4: they be outside.
Speaker 5: Like, what is that based off their work? Like it's
Speaker 5: like there their fans are components of like their work.
Speaker 5: I feel like a lot of mainly like pop stars.
Speaker 5: It feels like there's a different yeah the pop stars
Speaker 5: have and I don't think I'll ever be that s
Speaker 5: like And that's the thing that I don't think I'm
Speaker 5: in the lane where I will have that.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Way you dance, you you write, you act, you're gonna direct?
Speaker 5: And tell me how many dancers, how many writers, how
Speaker 5: many directors? Are niggas running up to m hm.
Speaker 4: You're also hot, it's gonna be somebody in a blazer
Speaker 4: and some booty shorts.
Speaker 5: A big fan of over truly every now and again,
Speaker 5: it's cool. I'm sure some people come up to Jordan people,
Speaker 5: but it's not like Beyonce that like that ship sounds
Speaker 5: crazy like stars is different And I just think I
Speaker 5: don't think that that is like a path. I don't
Speaker 5: think I'm on that path. It just doesn't You never know.
Speaker 1: You also have to look at who were talking about.
Speaker 4: I saw women that talking about people are like like,
Speaker 4: no one is.
Speaker 2: People don't respect women's down.
Speaker 3: Yes, and that's it, And that's a good thing about
Speaker 3: what your mess is about being nice is because when
Speaker 3: you're a woman, you want to you don't know how
Speaker 3: to tote the line of like I want to I
Speaker 3: want to be a boss, but also I want to
Speaker 3: be nice to my fans. I don't want people to
Speaker 3: think I'm a bitch, but I also want to get
Speaker 3: things done and I want to make sure people understand
Speaker 3: that I have compassion. But then if you think I
Speaker 3: have compassion, then you're gonna think I'm a joke.
Speaker 1: Yes, I mean you're gonna take advantage of it.
Speaker 5: Literally talking about the Beyonce when she was asking about
Speaker 5: like something and then they're like that's impossible. Literally, I
Speaker 5: just like, what are you talking like? And even seeing that,
Speaker 5: I was like, this is so important to like see
Speaker 5: somebody at that level, to be able to see like
Speaker 5: this is Beyonce. And they're still like.
Speaker 1: Ah, she don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 5: Which is fucking nuts.
Speaker 4: But that's another level or layer of why she is
Speaker 4: the way she is because as a woman, as a
Speaker 4: black woman, even as the person who is at the
Speaker 4: top of a game, and she's a perfectionist, so she
Speaker 4: likes things done a certain way so that it.
Speaker 1: Looks a certain way. You a dusty man in the
Speaker 1: union of whatever it is that you do.
Speaker 4: I'm telling you I want this, and you're like, that's impossible. Well,
Speaker 4: I don't think he's a dusty man.
Speaker 2: I'm sure.
Speaker 4: I'm sure he's the best of the best, Sydney. I'm
Speaker 4: calling him dusty.
Speaker 2: You're gone.
Speaker 4: You can call him whatever you want to call him.
Speaker 4: He's the best dusty person on the team. But for
Speaker 4: you to look me in my eyes and be like,
Speaker 4: oh no, that's that's impossible, Like that means you either
Speaker 4: don't know, right, so you can't be the best if
Speaker 4: you don't know, or you you know but you don't
Speaker 4: want to do it. But you work for me, so again,
Speaker 4: you can't be the best. How you say a no
Speaker 4: to Beyonce.
Speaker 1: If you're supposed to be the best, you should be
Speaker 1: like you figure it out. The best makes mistakes. I
Speaker 1: don't know that. I'm I mean yes to this guy.
Speaker 3: But that's where my empathy is, and that my niceness
Speaker 3: is that even the best make mistakes.
Speaker 2: People fall.
Speaker 5: Do you know, like he didn't make a mistake. He
Speaker 5: dis credited her, like he didn't have the inform That's
Speaker 5: the thing, the information. He's just working, Like you didn't
Speaker 5: look she can she she.
Speaker 1: Put your phone up and googled what she asked him
Speaker 1: for and found.
Speaker 5: It so like it wasn't based in anything but his
Speaker 5: opinion of what he thought she knew, right, And that's
Speaker 5: the thing that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so that's what Sydney. You can't be best
Speaker 1: if you're like no.
Speaker 5: And that's what I'm saying, like the this kind of
Speaker 5: like grace that I'm just giving less grace these days
Speaker 5: because I think people deserve less and I think.
Speaker 7: Like, nah, deserve less of you, less of my grace
Speaker 7: personally in the sense of like I also think that
Speaker 7: like there's a certain specificity to being like black and
Speaker 7: gay in the sy industry, and I don't think people
Speaker 7: see it because they don't see black gay people, like
Speaker 7: especially black gay man.
Speaker 5: I think there's such invisibility that people just don't really
Speaker 5: consider because within the sphere of like black and then gender,
Speaker 5: it kinda is like a subset. But like, I feel
Speaker 5: like there's a lot of pressure because people don't know
Speaker 5: how to how to view them because there's not a
Speaker 5: larger representation. So I feel like in this industry, I
Speaker 5: met with all these preconceived notions of like who I
Speaker 5: am and who I should be, and when I present
Speaker 5: who I am, people literally are like, how do I
Speaker 5: interact with this? Because I thought because you were gay
Speaker 5: that I can treat you differently than what I would
Speaker 5: treat this straight black man. This is true, Now I can't.
Speaker 5: But because you're gay, I could treat you like a
Speaker 5: woman and me being like, but that just means you
Speaker 5: want to mistreat me like it's it's really an insane.
Speaker 4: You're a black gay man, so they want to treat
Speaker 4: you like a black lady, and they treat us like
Speaker 4: what sheet.
Speaker 6: So ye.
Speaker 7: Weird?
Speaker 5: Which I can't imagine imagine that the best the best.
Speaker 5: It's just And that's why I don't think you should
Speaker 5: be a nice as you are, because I don't think
Speaker 5: people deserve as much grace because I don't think you
Speaker 5: are being given that in return, because we would be
Speaker 5: further the fuck along.
Speaker 4: That's why you gotta sprinkle the meanness throughout your content.
Speaker 4: You hear what I'm saying, Yes, that's why what I do,
Speaker 4: what I do. People are like, she's funny, but I
Speaker 4: can see that she's somebody that you probably shouldn't play with.
Speaker 4: And therefore, when me and Sidney do what we do,
Speaker 4: it's count and gaunt. Right, Sydney is the skinny next one,
Speaker 4: and I'm like the funny, kind of feisty one.
Speaker 1: But it's like certain.
Speaker 4: Things that I feel like people might take liberties with
Speaker 4: Sydney on, they won't be so quick to do it
Speaker 4: with me, yes, the people who understand our dynamic.
Speaker 5: And I don't think that like I'm like on the
Speaker 5: spectrum of like mean. I think I come off as
Speaker 5: kind of like somebody told me recently that I was
Speaker 5: mysterious and esoteric, and.
Speaker 4: I was like, another word, we got another word, write
Speaker 4: it down, your esoteric, which just.
Speaker 5: Means like specific to a small group of people, which
Speaker 5: means basically like, which is like and I've been told
Speaker 5: like I remember, and that I've been told that I'm
Speaker 5: that I can come up as like stand offish sure
Speaker 5: that I don't necessarily exude like please come talk to me.
Speaker 5: And I think it's a combination of like me being
Speaker 5: like a true like introvert, but also like that is
Speaker 5: I don't think people just know they don't know how
Speaker 5: to perceive me because I'm not giving that much out
Speaker 5: because that's the thing of like I love relationships and
Speaker 5: my friends, Like y'all know a version of me that
Speaker 5: most people don't, right, because like that's just not what
Speaker 5: I present.
Speaker 1: That's what friends are for.
Speaker 4: You should be you with your friends, and everybody else
Speaker 4: gets the business, the LinkedIn, the professional, the interview version
Speaker 4: of yourself.
Speaker 5: Yes, but I think that version is the version that's
Speaker 5: like difficult to like because it's perceived is so widely.
Speaker 5: Like people can really be like, oh, that's mean, and
Speaker 5: I'm like if I was mean, you fucking die. Like
Speaker 5: I'm just being like fucking like neutral. I'm just not
Speaker 5: giving anything. Like I approach a lot of things just
Speaker 5: like neutral, and people are like because it's not nice,
Speaker 5: it's mean, yeah, And I'm like, nah, it's not. So
Speaker 5: I feel like if less people were neutral, I could
Speaker 5: exist in a place that would make me more comfortable.
Speaker 1: Can you tell us.
Speaker 4: About the time that you were nice and it came
Speaker 4: back and it kind of blew up in your face
Speaker 4: or like wasn't good for you? Because like, I think
Speaker 4: we've all had moments like that. Like, were you really
Speaker 4: nice to you helped somebody with the bag at the
Speaker 4: airport and then you missed your flight, like.
Speaker 5: I recently helped someone. They were living in my place,
Speaker 5: like let them stay there, and then they I basically
Speaker 5: them like I don't like my space is very important
Speaker 5: to me. And then I don't like people in my house,
Speaker 5: especially in my bedroom. I came back to my house
Speaker 5: and there was like a used condom on my floor
Speaker 5: and they basically fuck someone in my bed. But then
Speaker 5: when I confronted them, they were like, oh, we didn't
Speaker 5: really fun because they were really drunk and they pee.
Speaker 4: They pe where I'd rather you have sex in my
Speaker 4: bed than you pee in my bed. But that's why
Speaker 4: I would. I would be like, you got to get
Speaker 4: the air mattress, you got to be on the couch, like.
Speaker 5: That's the thing. He was in my guest room, pet
Speaker 5: on that one first, and then they went to.
Speaker 2: My bedroom and this is your fault for having a guest.
Speaker 1: It was it a dog? How what grown peeing? Why
Speaker 1: do you earn a guest room two beds one night?
Speaker 5: And I said oh okay, you said okay, oh no,
Speaker 5: just me being not like like no, they had to
Speaker 5: like they had to get out and then I'm no
Speaker 5: longer the friend.
Speaker 8: You know.
Speaker 5: It was just after that switch and be like oh no,
Speaker 5: like I will, this is done. But it was just
Speaker 5: one of those moments and be like, how do how
Speaker 5: did we get here? For me? Just like being nice
Speaker 5: like that was.
Speaker 3: Like that, how did how did the pee get there?
Speaker 3: And then you didn't clean it up? How did that happen?
Speaker 1: Did you send them a bill for two new mattresses?
Speaker 5: Are they paid for somebody to clean my bed and.
Speaker 2: I need a new mattress? Just take it all out, give.
Speaker 5: Me new like mattress topper, and did all these like
Speaker 5: but it was just I would I've never experienced something like.
Speaker 1: That that is in the bed.
Speaker 2: I have not.
Speaker 5: He said the person was really drunk.
Speaker 4: Come some some say squirt is p but but then
Speaker 4: in that case the bed there it is same SAMEA man.
Speaker 2: I can't believe that happened.
Speaker 3: But I mean, take when but this is a series
Speaker 3: of you probably being nice to this person over and
Speaker 3: over and over again, and once you extend and they
Speaker 3: feel like, oh I probably could just pull some a
Speaker 3: stunt like this, they do it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is why I just feel like I've been
Speaker 5: approaching more situations from a more neutral place, so then
Speaker 5: I have have to have more discernment on who I
Speaker 5: should give this level of nice and kindness and consideration too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a friend who.
Speaker 4: Had somebody that was working for her and she was traveling,
Speaker 4: She's on vacation or whatever, and this person was supposed
Speaker 4: to like watch her house and like you know, water
Speaker 4: plans or whatever whatever, and they like had a party.
Speaker 4: They took it upon themselves to have a party in
Speaker 4: her home while she was gone, it makes sense, and.
Speaker 1: Stuff got damaged.
Speaker 4: I don't know if anybody peed on anything, but maybe
Speaker 4: maybe like stuff like and she had like stuff that
Speaker 4: they're supposed to take care of that didn't get taken
Speaker 4: care of because this person was busy having a you know,
Speaker 4: a drug.
Speaker 1: Fueled party in her home.
Speaker 4: And then when she called them out on it, they
Speaker 4: tried to like deny, deny and deny, but like the
Speaker 4: house was damaged, Like how do you want to throw
Speaker 4: a party or have a guest or blah blah, Like
Speaker 4: if you won't do it, you gotta.
Speaker 1: Do it and then leave no te evidence.
Speaker 5: So I wouldn't have no like I just and if
Speaker 5: it would have stayed in the guest room you want, Like,
Speaker 5: I'm not a dictator, Like I'm not telling you who watching. Yeah,
Speaker 5: I'm just like this is just my space. And I
Speaker 5: expressed like what this means to me and like and
Speaker 5: that was just shipped on And it's just it's a
Speaker 5: very simple, like I try to live life, like treat
Speaker 5: people how you want to be treated. It's very simple.
Speaker 5: But like it's such a easy thing to do, like
Speaker 5: and I'm just like I would never do that's crazy,
Speaker 5: Like I just wouldn't do that. Also, somebody who has
Speaker 5: a house, like I don't.
Speaker 4: Know better, who needs a diaper?
Speaker 1: I don't know that.
Speaker 5: I'm like, if this person is drunk enough to where
Speaker 5: they piss, and why are you.
Speaker 2: What would you want to be with that?
Speaker 5: What's that about?
Speaker 2: You don't.
Speaker 3: And I will say this, sometimes who people date, it
Speaker 3: runs off and the spillage hits their friend and stuff.
Speaker 3: And so that's why sometimes you can't be nice about
Speaker 3: how people date. It's like if you're dating all these
Speaker 3: lucy goosey people who ain't got no sense, I mean,
Speaker 3: it's gonna it's gonna hit home eventually. You say you
Speaker 3: got a police When people date, not police, but if
Speaker 3: it's like someone's constantly coming to you with the can
Speaker 3: you believe this person did this? And nada da da
Speaker 3: da da da, and it's like, so now I have
Speaker 3: to hear the trauma dumping of your dating life when
Speaker 3: it's like, yes, I know these people are trash.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, the dating.
Speaker 3: Pool is basuda, but you have to have discernments, okay,
Speaker 3: so that we're not Sometimes you don't want to hear
Speaker 3: this stuff all the time. Sometimes I hear these tiktoks
Speaker 3: where people are constantly talking about these dates and I'm like, again, sister,
Speaker 3: it's been four dates in the month and all of
Speaker 3: it is every single thing is bad and they never
Speaker 3: say what they're doing.
Speaker 1: So you're just dating bad people. You don't do nothing.
Speaker 4: But you gotta take TikTok with a grain of salt.
Speaker 4: People do dumb stuff to go viral.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: They're like, Y'a'm gonna go on this.
Speaker 4: Girl strip and I'm only gonna bring seventeen dollars get
Speaker 4: ready with me to go ruin my friends birthday. You
Speaker 4: know what I'm saying? Yes, absolutely, they're like I just
Speaker 4: want to go viral.
Speaker 3: They're like, yeah, so I'm about to get evicted, but
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go on to this state.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna see if this guy's gonna pay my bills.
Speaker 5: Like what you're like with like real people, I'm like
Speaker 5: and I'm very okay with my friends make like making
Speaker 5: bad choices, having flaws. I just need them to know that,
Speaker 5: Like once you come to me, I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 5: how I feel. After that, I'm gonna stop caring. I'm
Speaker 5: I'm just like, oh, no, like do it like when
Speaker 5: you move to Los Angeles. I said, dun't.
Speaker 1: You said don't literally and then not say dumb young,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: You said don't give up the cats and don't go
Speaker 4: and You're like, I don't know if you gonna like la,
Speaker 4: but also you were just like, don't give it the cat.
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't know, Like I like, just
Speaker 5: based off who I know you to be, I think
Speaker 5: this will create a situation where you might be unhappy.
Speaker 5: And then she said no, like I'm gonna do it,
Speaker 5: and then I said okay, I like that's all we
Speaker 5: could do. And it was what it was like, you
Speaker 5: still like had your time, had a good time, you
Speaker 5: like moved for love, yes, and then later you're like damn,
Speaker 5: like maybe I shouldn't have did that, And then I
Speaker 5: was like yes, uh huh, but like if you're choosing
Speaker 5: to have this person in your life, I'm just like, oh,
Speaker 5: like I'm choosing to have you like and flaws and
Speaker 5: all like see anyone.
Speaker 1: Like this to the cattle.
Speaker 4: I did not no no, no, that's not what happened.
Speaker 2: No no no.
Speaker 3: I made sure that they were rehome properly with the
Speaker 3: with the responsible person.
Speaker 2: Don't do that.
Speaker 3: But also it's like why play everything safe, like you're
Speaker 3: not going to.
Speaker 1: Do everything right.
Speaker 3: So I made that risk, and I said, hey, this
Speaker 3: is what love does. Love makes you be like I'm
Speaker 3: packing up all my stuff and I'm going to LA.
Speaker 5: And the thing like if you would have came to
Speaker 5: me again, and that's thing like that if.
Speaker 1: I did that, you didn't like you did it again.
Speaker 1: Everybody that knows you would be like nelsis yes, but
Speaker 1: I don't think that you would do that.
Speaker 2: You no, no no.
Speaker 5: And I think like people have to live the life
Speaker 5: that they live in terms of like relationship, like I
Speaker 5: don't want to be the like trum like the trauma
Speaker 5: dn't like in order for us to have like a
Speaker 5: semiotic relationship. If you a fuck up, I know that cool,
Speaker 5: but then you have to know that, like, I am
Speaker 5: very solution oriented, So how are we going to meet
Speaker 5: in the middle. You can keep sucking up, but if
Speaker 5: you come to me talking about how many times you're
Speaker 5: gonna keep sucking up and you don't want a solution,
Speaker 5: don't come to me. So I feel like my friends know,
Speaker 5: Like I've had friends like come to me to be
Speaker 5: like hey, I'm just like looking to talk and I'm like, great,
Speaker 5: I know how to be there. But if you're coming
Speaker 5: for a solution, I'm like, cool, I know how to
Speaker 5: do that too. But like some some of my friends
Speaker 5: don't talk to me about certain things because they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: I know who you are, and I'm like, in this way,
Speaker 5: we have a good friend ship because you're not expecting
Speaker 5: me to fill a role. You know, I'm not going
Speaker 5: to feel just like I'm not expecting you to be
Speaker 5: on time if I know you always late.
Speaker 1: We were talking to.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was crazy, that was wild. I can't shots
Speaker 4: fired on June. Yes, technically that was my general Well
Speaker 4: you were looking directly at her because from me, woo
Speaker 4: you But you didn't look my way.
Speaker 5: Because I was just simply talking wow across. I don't
Speaker 5: have a problem with you being late.
Speaker 1: This is true. I've never kept Danne waiting for really, we've.
Speaker 5: Never had like and that's not an issue, like and
Speaker 5: that doesn't matter to me. But like then there's like
Speaker 5: because I had a friend who really hated that when
Speaker 5: when I was late, and I was like, okay, this
Speaker 5: really matters.
Speaker 2: How late are you though doing not very lately.
Speaker 5: I just think she just thought it was disrespectful.
Speaker 2: I need some I need time time.
Speaker 1: Time. You're supposed to be there two o'clock. What time
Speaker 1: you getting there?
Speaker 5: Probably like two fifteen, two thirty now, yeah, that's mash
Speaker 5: that'sh no no, no, no, no no, but take it back,
Speaker 5: take it back.
Speaker 1: Hated when I was not really a late thirty.
Speaker 2: You're pushing it.
Speaker 5: But I heard her and I said, Okay, this matters
Speaker 5: to you, so for her matter for everybody. For everybody,
Speaker 5: it don't.
Speaker 1: So if you're saying we're in LA two, in LA
Speaker 1: two means two thirty.
Speaker 5: Yeah, And this is why sometimes when I talk to
Speaker 5: people now, i'd be like, oh too ish, And then
Speaker 5: when speaking closer, I'll give you a more definitive time.
Speaker 1: But ish for me is like two fifteen thirty exactly.
Speaker 5: It's just giving room. It's giving a little let it breathe,
Speaker 5: let it air rate.
Speaker 3: Okay, you get a fifteen minute grace period for reservations,
Speaker 3: that's it.
Speaker 2: Fifteen minutes, that's it.
Speaker 3: After fifteen minutes, you are being the table's being let go.
Speaker 2: Yes, you're being rude and the person should leave.
Speaker 4: I think I think more people need to leave when
Speaker 4: people are that late get.
Speaker 5: About that would be fair. Like the friend the X
Speaker 5: men and the piston my bed, we had a post
Speaker 5: conversation and I was like, oh, I don't want to
Speaker 5: be a friend, and they were like, but why. I
Speaker 5: said no, no, no, like this was the boundary that was
Speaker 5: big enough for me. That was crous. I don't think
Speaker 5: I want to have a further doge, but.
Speaker 1: Why you and or somebody else peeding in two of
Speaker 1: my beds. You ask me why?
Speaker 5: And then they were like, oh, well you've like crossed
Speaker 5: boundaries of mine and I given you grace, and then
Speaker 5: I said you shouldn't have then like, I don't judge
Speaker 5: me by the way that you should.
Speaker 4: My friend, if you forgave me you can't now throw
Speaker 4: it back in my face.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you forgive me, I don't know what you want
Speaker 5: from me.
Speaker 1: Forgiveness is mess.
Speaker 3: I will say that forgiving is mess because yes, I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm not mad at it anymore, right, and we are
Speaker 3: moving forward, But I.
Speaker 2: Have not forgotten.
Speaker 3: And how can I forgive if I still remember the
Speaker 3: shit that you did, because then when you do something
Speaker 3: else that's gonna trigger me, that's a capital T for me.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, you back on your bullshit. So
Speaker 3: now I got to bring it up again. But it's
Speaker 3: like I thought you forgave it. Nah, I did forgive
Speaker 3: what you want that bullshit?
Speaker 4: And i'ma mention it again now because yeah, but like
Speaker 4: you open the door, it becomes data.
Speaker 5: But if it's still affecting you emotionally, then maybe you ain't.
Speaker 5: It's just like like, if it's still like triggering you,
Speaker 5: that is a sign that you ain't work through that.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: I gotta work through it. Now, I gotta work through
Speaker 3: something that you did to me.
Speaker 1: No, my thing is this.
Speaker 4: If you tell me you forgave me and you still
Speaker 4: in it, then you did not forgive me. You can't
Speaker 4: say I forgive you and it's good and then be like,
Speaker 4: but I won't forget, Like, sure you can remember it,
Speaker 4: but if you've thrown it back in my face every
Speaker 4: time we have any type of issue, then babe.
Speaker 5: You didn't forget.
Speaker 1: Please, You're harboring.
Speaker 8: Right, harboring. It's very very You do a world of
Speaker 8: to day, you know, a word of asshole.
Speaker 6: For sure, I'm gonna do my wordle right now. You'll
Speaker 6: get it for to day? Is it mess to do
Speaker 6: my world during the public, you.
Speaker 3: Know, talking to you doane being with you, I you know,
Speaker 3: constantly am like damn, maybe I do need to work
Speaker 3: on being less nice.
Speaker 1: But I don't know.
Speaker 3: Sometimes being nice or empathetic or whatever, it just it
Speaker 3: fills me up and be like Okay, yeah, like this
Speaker 3: is not a bad thing. I am gonna get, you know,
Speaker 3: fucked over it sometimes and people are gonna take advantage
Speaker 3: and you know, that's just how the cookie crumbles. But
Speaker 3: I do get a lot of people who, you know,
Speaker 3: I sometimes forget how we first met and they're like, Sidney,
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't know nobody and you were.
Speaker 1: At this point, you were so nice.
Speaker 3: You were just like made me feel comfortable and not
Speaker 3: like a stranger, and it made me like feel like
Speaker 3: I was in and thank you for that.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, that's how I treat.
Speaker 3: Most people because anybody could be anybody, And what's the
Speaker 3: what's the point of being you know, reserved.
Speaker 2: When it's like, oh, if we match, then just school.
Speaker 3: But if you show me that you're you know, you're weird,
Speaker 3: I might still be your friend.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like I.
Speaker 5: Know, I'm not saying don't be empathetic and don't be
Speaker 5: nice at all. I'm just saying the the expectation for
Speaker 5: me to perform niceness so that you feel better is
Speaker 5: what I'm saying. I don't want to.
Speaker 2: Do I don't want to do it.
Speaker 5: Okay, Like, if it feels organic to be nice, I'm
Speaker 5: going to be nice because that's who I am. But
Speaker 5: there's just like certain spaces where niceness is prioritized in
Speaker 5: a way where like other things could also be prioritized.
Speaker 1: Who's the nicest person?
Speaker 5: You know, Sidney is like one of them, foolish.
Speaker 2: One of the one of the most fools that you.
Speaker 5: Know, Yes, yeahs like and in Nate just like and
Speaker 5: it's so funny to be living with her and seeing
Speaker 5: like I feel like there's parts of me that she's
Speaker 5: now seeing that and we're like interacting where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: you genuinely are really nice and me being like stupid.
Speaker 5: You don't have to be instance because like I also
Speaker 5: think I'm nice, Like I don't think I'm like like,
Speaker 5: I think I'm very.
Speaker 1: Nice, but then you watch Sydney and you're like, am
Speaker 1: I nice?
Speaker 5: And that's the thing. Like I was talking to a friend,
Speaker 5: I'm nice in situations where I feel like I am nice,
Speaker 5: and then in a certain situations just like, oh, I
Speaker 5: don't think this car Like there was a moment earlier
Speaker 5: where I had to pick and choose when I was nice.
Speaker 5: We were getting smoothies and this woman just ordered her
Speaker 5: smoothie before me and I was already there, and I
Speaker 5: had to tell myself, like, this is a moment where
Speaker 5: I could be like, hey, I was already here. I
Speaker 5: literally said, this is not a moment where that is going.
Speaker 5: I don't think that's going to serve me. This is
Speaker 5: like an older woman.
Speaker 1: She's wearing floral. I'm like, okay, live your life lime.
Speaker 2: Green to toenail polish. You don't want it with her.
Speaker 1: She's Jamaican.
Speaker 5: I said you didn't want to wear her doesn't matter.
Speaker 5: But then yesterday I was like, walking to Central Park,
Speaker 5: there's a guy just like standing in the middle, just
Speaker 5: like in the way, I mean, being like, why are
Speaker 5: you sir?
Speaker 1: Oh? I already know what. He looked like, move everybody
Speaker 1: you're talking about I know.
Speaker 5: And that was a moment where I was like, I
Speaker 5: want to be meaner then I'm going to be, but
Speaker 5: I'm not because that also like I don't know this man,
Speaker 5: but like, so.
Speaker 1: What did you say to the man in the middle
Speaker 1: of the sidewalk?
Speaker 5: I said, come on, man, oh god, you're in New
Speaker 5: York now, you're a New Yorker.
Speaker 4: No, a real New Yorker would have been like, get
Speaker 4: out of the way.
Speaker 5: And that's what I wanted to say, is get the
Speaker 5: fuck out the way. But I was like, this is
Speaker 5: like if I do that, what now? Like I literally
Speaker 5: was walking with a friend. We were in Central Park
Speaker 5: maybe a couple months ago, and it was a situation
Speaker 5: where like some guy said something and he kind of
Speaker 5: like responded and the guy kind of snapped, and I
Speaker 5: was like, I'm really Chicago. I've had situations where things
Speaker 5: have escalated to death quickly, so I again discernment and
Speaker 5: been like, what is the what is this moment called for?
Speaker 5: Do I give that energy? I could, but I'm not.
Speaker 5: But I do think there were in certain situations where
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, this this energy is called calls for
Speaker 5: and it's never like I don't argue. I'm not like
Speaker 5: I'm not that person, but I do think there's like
Speaker 5: a curtainess to me having to get my point across.
Speaker 5: I was at some event in LA and some some
Speaker 5: white lady turned around and shushed me in a.
Speaker 1: Very rude way. Were you watching the quiet place?
Speaker 5: No? I was at like a I was like at
Speaker 5: some like I like hosted this event the year before,
Speaker 5: so they invited me the next year just to come.
Speaker 5: There was like people behind me talking and she turned
Speaker 5: around and shushed me like it was just so rude,
Speaker 5: and I before I knew it, I like rolled up
Speaker 5: on her and was like, Hey, who the fuck are
Speaker 5: you talking to? And I said, it's so quiet, Like
Speaker 5: it wasn't like it was like.
Speaker 4: She need to be like you should have lean in
Speaker 4: to hear you curse her.
Speaker 5: Up And that's kind of like the way, and like
Speaker 5: I was like, Oh, this is the energy I have
Speaker 5: to have because I need her to know, watch your
Speaker 5: fucking mouth, like, that's rude, you don't know me. Thank
Speaker 5: you for that, but I have to say it in
Speaker 5: a way that was not like ra because that's not
Speaker 5: the energy I'm trying. I just need you to know
Speaker 5: how I feel.
Speaker 1: What did she say when you said that?
Speaker 5: She was like exactly and literally I said exactly exactly.
Speaker 5: Then I walked away and the point was made. There
Speaker 5: was not another moment and I said this is And
Speaker 5: that was a moment where I was like, Okay, this
Speaker 5: energy was needed in this moment to convey what I
Speaker 5: needed to convey. I didn't need to do too much,
Speaker 5: but I needed her to know.
Speaker 1: Quiet cursing. I'm adding that to my tool box.
Speaker 5: I think it is so help.
Speaker 1: Hey, that fuck are you talking? I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think I think that's a lot. I think that's a
Speaker 1: that just feels like.
Speaker 3: No, a lot is screaming and no, a lot a
Speaker 3: lot of energy to be like to go back to
Speaker 3: somebody like you're talking to you.
Speaker 5: Is just yeah, what you're talking to?
Speaker 1: Hey?
Speaker 5: Exactly?
Speaker 1: Who the fuck?
Speaker 5: And it was like and that was all. And my
Speaker 5: friend that I was with he was like, oh, I've
Speaker 5: never seen you that way, and I was just like,
Speaker 5: I felt it was so rude for this woman to
Speaker 5: think that she has that level of control, like authority.
Speaker 5: You don't know me. That's really rude. And it was
Speaker 5: like not, it was just just like, oh, like, can
Speaker 5: you quiet down? It was like a shut up and
Speaker 5: me being like, Hey, who the fuck are you talking to? Yeah,
Speaker 5: that's crazy, ma'am.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna quietly curse somebody out this week. I'm putting
Speaker 4: that in my toolbox and I'm putting it in my.
Speaker 5: Toe Because she had no she just was so shocked
Speaker 5: that I would say something back. So you just thought
Speaker 5: you was just Oh so you thought like, oh so
Speaker 5: you can just say anything without repercussions. No, Actually, you
Speaker 5: should think about what you say to people, because I
Speaker 5: do all the time. I have to down was a problem.
Speaker 5: So learning a lesson today, and the lesson is watch
Speaker 5: your fucking mouth.
Speaker 1: Don't let it happen again.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's a lesson that she learned. But I'm
Speaker 3: sure she's gonna do that shit again.
Speaker 5: She didn't gon do it to.
Speaker 1: Me, and that's what matters, And that's the lesson.
Speaker 3: There might be another person that you I mean if
Speaker 3: every time it just feels like I have to do
Speaker 3: this every single time.
Speaker 5: Did do it to the lady with this mooie? No,
Speaker 5: do it to the man on the street.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: That That's what I'm talking about, discernment walking.
Speaker 1: Down the street, the room.
Speaker 4: I was walking down the street yesterday and there was
Speaker 4: a group of people on the sidewalk, and you know,
Speaker 4: they had on those clear raincoats, so you can already
Speaker 4: visualize the people I'm talking about, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: like the rain the rain puncho that goes over their
Speaker 4: clothes that they bought a CBS or whatever. And I'm
Speaker 4: coming up and I'm coming fast because you know I'm late,
Speaker 4: I'll be late. And even when I'm not late to something,
Speaker 4: I'm from New York, so I walk quick.
Speaker 1: So I'm walking.
Speaker 4: Fast, and this guy just steps out just into the
Speaker 4: middle of the sidewalk. So I had to kind of
Speaker 4: v you're like at the last second around him, and
Speaker 4: I didn't say anything, but I fully turned around to
Speaker 4: be like ough, and he was like, sometimes you don't
Speaker 4: even have to you don't have to say anything being.
Speaker 5: An expression yeah, to be like hey, I was like,
Speaker 5: and he was like.
Speaker 3: I just feel like there's so much of that in
Speaker 3: New York, like that everybody's always making faces saying stuff
Speaker 3: like I feel like this is the city of people
Speaker 3: always getting the getting they shit off, they telling people, Hey,
Speaker 3: you are my way, I don't like you around me.
Speaker 3: You smell bad. This is weird, this is ugly, like.
Speaker 5: Your opinion to the mix, and I'm back and now
Speaker 5: I'm embracing it in a way that I just didn't before.
Speaker 5: I'm like, there's a space for this, and I think
Speaker 5: I'm in a season where I'm glad I'm in New
Speaker 5: York right now because that's I'm feeling very New York
Speaker 5: right now, and that I see it.
Speaker 3: You've definitely encompassed all of that in this in this interview.
Speaker 1: Friend.
Speaker 5: But you know, I'm so very sweet, very now.
Speaker 1: It's super sweet. Tell the people listening the top three
Speaker 1: nicest things, the sweetest things about you.
Speaker 5: I think I'm very considered. I think that when I'm
Speaker 5: doing stuff, I consider how I'm going to affect the
Speaker 5: people the space. I think I'm very empathetic. There's not
Speaker 5: much I can't talk about or like stepping someone's shoes
Speaker 5: to see their point of view. And also I think
Speaker 5: I'm pretty like loose with my money.
Speaker 1: Oh, we love loose with the money.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to get better.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, keep it loose.
Speaker 5: A lot of survivors remorse. So somebody and.
Speaker 3: You got you got a lot of you know, when
Speaker 3: you have family connected to family, you feel like and.
Speaker 5: Money really be beating people's as So yeah, and personally
Speaker 5: I do think that's like I think people put a
Speaker 5: lot on money, and so if I like give somebody money,
Speaker 5: I feel like they're really like, oh, this is so helpful.
Speaker 5: And me being like I had to press two buttons
Speaker 5: on my phone. That's so much better than being like,
Speaker 5: can can you help me move? I'm like, now I
Speaker 5: gotta do stuff like money moved so easy.
Speaker 1: I send you a link to piece of cake movers.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and so like, I feel like that's just like
Speaker 5: an easy way to help people, and at a time
Speaker 5: where people really need help.
Speaker 1: Okay, well we have a little we have a message.
Speaker 3: Wait, no, I wanted to ask you, Marie, what's the
Speaker 3: three nicest things you've done?
Speaker 1: Oh, three nicest things I've done.
Speaker 4: I had a show last night and this girl came
Speaker 4: up to me and she was like, I'm a comedian.
Speaker 4: I just moved to New York. I've seen your reels
Speaker 4: online and I had to come meet you. I had
Speaker 4: to come see you in real life. And I said, oh,
Speaker 4: and I hugged her and.
Speaker 1: She was shocked. She was like, oh my god. And
Speaker 1: she was like, and you smell good. And I was
Speaker 1: like yeah, but that was me being nice.
Speaker 4: Because I don't hug everybody and I don't want to
Speaker 4: be touched by everybody. Number Two, nicest thing that I
Speaker 4: you said, nicest thing that I did, or things about
Speaker 4: me that are nice. Yeah, I mean yeah, we got
Speaker 4: to donate some boots to Mecca.
Speaker 2: It's nice, okay.
Speaker 4: And you know, I was talking to my mom on
Speaker 4: the phone today and a lot of times when we
Speaker 4: speak to our parents, sometimes they say things and it's
Speaker 4: like annoying to us. And today we had a conversation
Speaker 4: and she said something that typically I would maybe be like, ugh,
Speaker 4: what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: But I laughed and me and my mom and she
Speaker 1: laughed and.
Speaker 4: We had this like really nice moment of like laughing together.
Speaker 4: And I just had this moment of like, oh, my
Speaker 4: mom is like she's just a girl, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean, Like, you know what I'm like, and because
Speaker 4: she's somebody who i'm so we're like.
Speaker 1: The same personality.
Speaker 4: We bump heads a lot, and so when I laughed
Speaker 4: and she laughed, I just felt like, what's.
Speaker 1: The laugh time? Last time we laughed together? So that
Speaker 1: was it. Those are my three things. It was just nice,
Speaker 1: this is nice.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna you know, she's not gonna be here forever.
Speaker 4: So it was just like a nice, simple.
Speaker 1: Moment of like, what, he's just a girl. I don't
Speaker 1: think we need to ask you with three nice things.
Speaker 4: You're nice, no, yeah, yeah, but three mean things, three mean.
Speaker 1: Things, three things that.
Speaker 3: You were like, uh, you know, I like, I guess
Speaker 3: I had a falling out with a friend and I
Speaker 3: could have like addressed it in a way where I'm like,
Speaker 3: let's let's bring it back, Like I just it was
Speaker 3: just a straight like no, I'm not good.
Speaker 2: That would be considered mean.
Speaker 3: But it's like I'm I feel like I am so
Speaker 3: nice and so understanding that if you get me to
Speaker 3: the point of it like I'm not speaking to you
Speaker 3: any more.
Speaker 2: You got to figure that out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because yeah, because it's like I don't just cut
Speaker 3: people off or if you do something, if you cross
Speaker 3: or boundary with me, that's just like so weird. It's
Speaker 3: hard for me to like communicate how weird this was.
Speaker 3: I'll just I'll just cut you off as well, because
Speaker 3: it's just like, yeah, you did that, cool for you,
Speaker 3: but that's that's not going to rock with me. And
Speaker 3: so when I cut people off, it is a little
Speaker 3: mean because I'm like, I don't I don't care anymore.
Speaker 3: I don't want to explain, I don't want to make
Speaker 3: it right.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 4: I just don't care. I'm like, bye, that's it. So
Speaker 4: that that's how I would say it is my mean.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've witnessed this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I witnessed this like maybe two times, and I'm like, Okay, that.
Speaker 6: Made me.
Speaker 4: No more.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 4: I mean, you know, you got to stand on business.
Speaker 4: And when Sydney stands on it, she actually stands on
Speaker 4: it with her heels in a cute in a cute boot,
Speaker 4: in a cute snake skin boot. All right, we have
Speaker 4: a message from a listener. I'm gonna read it and
Speaker 4: then you can tell us, you know, how are you
Speaker 4: feel about it? You know, hey, Sidney and Marie, I'm
Speaker 4: a big fan of you two, and the podcast.
Speaker 2: Thanks girl.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I listened religiously each week. Please do a show
Speaker 4: in stl soon. That's Saint Louis, right, I think so stl.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, gimme, gimme Toper.
Speaker 4: My mess is that I let a man fuck me
Speaker 4: up during the first week of Pride Month.
Speaker 7: Whoa.
Speaker 4: I've dated women and men my entire adult life. Every
Speaker 4: time I entertained a man, it feels like a form
Speaker 4: of self harm.
Speaker 1: Oh, relate.
Speaker 4: I met this man at a bar through a mutual friend.
Speaker 4: We exchanged Instagrams, but it didn't go anywhere. Fast forward
Speaker 4: to a few weeks ago. I saw we were in
Speaker 4: the same part of town. I invited him to the
Speaker 4: bar to hang out with me and my friend. We
Speaker 4: hit it off. We had a sleepover that night, but
Speaker 4: didn't hook up. Okay, he took me to breakfast the
Speaker 4: next morning.
Speaker 1: It was sweet.
Speaker 4: Next thing, you know, we're talking, hanging out often, and
Speaker 4: hooking up.
Speaker 1: He told me he was insecure.
Speaker 4: I didn't see it as a red flag until he
Speaker 4: started commenting on my body. He made a comment about
Speaker 4: my breast implants, my pubic hair.
Speaker 1: Oh, he preferred a bush.
Speaker 4: Asked when I was going to get my hair done,
Speaker 4: and if I liked wearing my hair up, insinuating that
Speaker 4: I looked better with it down.
Speaker 1: Preach not the only straight man. I knew something wasn't right.
Speaker 4: But the final wake up call was when I told
Speaker 4: my friend that he goes to therapy four times a week.
Speaker 1: I didn't even know we could do that.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that it's not the same It can't
Speaker 3: be the same person. There's no four different therapists in
Speaker 3: a week. Two that's maybe worse.
Speaker 4: Okay, the part that fucked me up is when I
Speaker 4: ended things. He said he wanted to end it the
Speaker 4: night before, but he wanted me to speak my peace.
Speaker 4: My sassy self said peace and he said and he said, no,
Speaker 4: it's peace peace as in p.
Speaker 1: I E C E. And then she said peace peace
Speaker 1: and he said, no, it's p I E C guy's
Speaker 1: and asshole. He got me good.
Speaker 4: I attached I'd attached a photo of him, but he
Speaker 4: blocked me immediately on Instagram.
Speaker 1: This has been my gay awakening. Is it mess or
Speaker 1: just living? Full? Full mess?
Speaker 2: Full mess?
Speaker 3: Never never give these man meant any any chance to
Speaker 3: pull a stunt like that. That's that's crazy. You should
Speaker 3: be thankful.
Speaker 5: I wonder if he was tall and his beard connected,
Speaker 5: because you literally told her a red flag and she
Speaker 5: said that's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I really wish we had a photo because
Speaker 1: I need to know.
Speaker 5: That's the problem is that she had an out and
Speaker 5: she didn't take it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but I think the first night kind of
Speaker 1: set the tone of it.
Speaker 4: And I think that's what why she had blinders on, right,
Speaker 4: because they had a good time, they slipped over but
Speaker 4: didn't hook up, and then he took her to breakfast
Speaker 4: the next morning, so it's like, oh, this is a
Speaker 4: nice guy. Yeah, so all you you have this vision
Speaker 4: of him at up top sweet. He does after that
Speaker 4: is the opposite of that, but you still you remember
Speaker 4: him as sweet.
Speaker 5: And I think that's the problem. This is an evening
Speaker 5: and a morning girl. You need more information. Yeah, and
Speaker 5: then he told you you ended here and you don't
Speaker 5: put that into the other information. Like so the idea
Speaker 5: of like putting so much emphasis on the good is
Speaker 5: because she wanted to write and that.
Speaker 1: He must have been tall and his beard fully connected
Speaker 1: all the way around.
Speaker 4: I need to see, well, I want to know did
Speaker 4: she find out he was in therapy four times a
Speaker 4: week before the comments or after, like, when did she
Speaker 4: when did she find out?
Speaker 2: She found out after?
Speaker 4: It says the final wake up call was when I
Speaker 4: told my friend, oh, wait, no, she must have already known.
Speaker 1: No, she already knew when I told my friend that
Speaker 1: he goes to therapy four times a week, So you
Speaker 1: knew he went to therapy four times a week.
Speaker 3: And then the firm was probably like, bitch, nah, he
Speaker 3: might have he might have been he might have been
Speaker 3: in one of those those rooms that's patted.
Speaker 1: Your friend said, girl, you dain'ting hanibal lectum four times
Speaker 1: a week is wild. I've never even heard of that.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know you.
Speaker 4: Could do that when you were in speech, when you
Speaker 4: were in kindergarten for the study, how many times a
Speaker 4: week did you go to that?
Speaker 5: I think I was like once a week. Back, I
Speaker 5: couldn't even talk, like that's four times a week.
Speaker 2: Very scary.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's living, giving people a chance.
Speaker 1: I guess twenty four times a month, but it's it's
Speaker 1: some Wait, that's twenty four times a month. Yeah, thirty
Speaker 1: days in a month.
Speaker 6: It's that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how is he affording us? What is his insurance?
Speaker 5: Like, maybe he really has like some really deep traumas,
Speaker 5: which is like like not like trying to really be empathetic.
Speaker 1: Look at you.
Speaker 5: I think that like she should have recognized if that
Speaker 5: was something she was willing to put up with pretty
Speaker 5: early on. Like I just think people really deal with
Speaker 5: things that they don't have to. Because he was talking
Speaker 5: about her titties and all these other things, Like at
Speaker 5: what point, Like was that first night really that good
Speaker 5: that all this other shit just didn't matter? Like was
Speaker 5: that breakfast just like the bomb.
Speaker 4: Ain't no grand slam good enough? Ain't in the VIP
Speaker 4: at Denny's? Like why were you sever I hoop?
Speaker 1: Is never that popping? No way?
Speaker 5: I mean? And also if you not like in it,
Speaker 5: be one for that, Like I think, like and maybe
Speaker 5: it's just not your man you were hooking up. Maybe
Speaker 5: I'm too much of a realist, but I'm like, what
Speaker 5: are the steaks like? And I'm always conscious of like
Speaker 5: if you leave my life right now, what would change?
Speaker 5: And if it's anything more than just like joy, then
Speaker 5: it's too much like and and that's the thing, like
Speaker 5: it shouldn't the stakes don't feel that high? Like possibly
Speaker 5: like good sex, good times you can get that from
Speaker 5: like multiple, multiple people.
Speaker 4: I think that's just living. I think that is the
Speaker 4: question that people need to ask themselves. If you leave
Speaker 4: my life right now, what would change a lot of
Speaker 4: people don't think like that. They like, they see what
Speaker 4: they have and they want just that and it's like, but.
Speaker 1: If this person wasn't here, you will still be good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you might be you might be better literally
Speaker 5: still getting You just have to find something else to do.
Speaker 1: You would have you would have more free time, or
Speaker 1: you would have time to steal some art like this.
Speaker 3: The saddest the saddest thing about this is that this
Speaker 3: is happening during Pride.
Speaker 2: Why would you have all months to do this? Like
Speaker 2: I'm giving somebody a chance Pride.
Speaker 5: She was trying to be queer and outside and put
Speaker 5: herself in.
Speaker 3: You're a lesbian friend, You're okay, But we learn, we
Speaker 3: learned these hard lessons doing through. Some of us, you know,
Speaker 3: get called you know that their titties are weird or whatever.
Speaker 3: And then other people, you know, they go to a
Speaker 3: man's house and is he doesn't have electricity?
Speaker 2: So who am I to judge?
Speaker 1: Dwayne?
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being so insightful. I mean,
Speaker 3: you really know you laid it on thick.
Speaker 1: You were unapologetically yourself. We need that at Mess.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I didn't think I was gonna give doctor Phil, but.
Speaker 1: You did you truly did you?
Speaker 4: Doctor Uncle Phil, Doctor Umar Phil Iyana van Zen?
Speaker 1: Not on my watch? What do you have coming up? Dwayne? Where?
Speaker 2: Where can people catch you?
Speaker 1: When does the blackenning to come out?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: Huh?
Speaker 5: When I finished? Right, y'all think I'll be in New York.
Speaker 5: I'm doing stand up again. I'm doing some shows coming up.
Speaker 5: I'm working on a one man show that I'm excited
Speaker 5: to put up, so I'll post about that. You can
Speaker 5: find me on the grams at Dwayne Perkins. D e
Speaker 5: w A y n e W is another nigga. Do
Speaker 5: not do that now?
Speaker 1: E w A y n E Perkins love it. See
Speaker 1: you at dance class and are matching blazers.
Speaker 5: I won't be there.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bring you a blazer.
Speaker 4: Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production
Speaker 4: by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast creatd
Speaker 4: and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston.
Speaker 1: Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonni super produced
Speaker 1: by Beca Ramos, edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.
Speaker 4: If you would like your messages read on air, please
Speaker 4: email us at messthpodcast at gmail dot com, or call
Speaker 4: for your messages to be played at seven six three
Speaker 4: two eight zero six five eight eight