WEBVTT - Working it Out with Jillian Michaels

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<v Speaker 1>Wind Down with Jane Kramer, and I've heard radio podcast

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<v Speaker 1>I have to pee so bad. Of course you do.

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<v Speaker 1>This is what I do. Jenna thinks it's inconvenient to

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<v Speaker 1>pee during her day. I think it's the most time consuming,

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<v Speaker 1>most time time consuming, so time consuming. I have to

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<v Speaker 1>force you to go to the bathroom, like I'll ask Brian.

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<v Speaker 1>When I asked Jolie, I'm like, Jolie and Janna, do

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<v Speaker 1>you have to go to the bathroom. If you do,

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<v Speaker 1>tell Daddie and I'll help you. I get both you

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<v Speaker 1>at the same time. Well, no, even at the airport,

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, I have to pee. I'm like, god like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>because and that just wasted five minutes to have to

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<v Speaker 1>Now we have to walk down. We could have been

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<v Speaker 1>home five minutes sooner. Uh we had to sit in

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<v Speaker 1>an hour of l A traffic on the way home,

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<v Speaker 1>and you wanted to sit that way having to pee. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>you you literally forced me to go to the bathroom. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I do, like Janna, go to the bathroom. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>like Jolie, I treat you guys the same. Put you

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<v Speaker 1>both on your little potties next to each other, the

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<v Speaker 1>white both of you. No, I just I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>what it is, but I knew I had to pee.

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<v Speaker 1>I had to actually pee about an hour and a

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<v Speaker 1>half ago. But again it's there's so many things I

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<v Speaker 1>have to do before I use the bathroom. Like my

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<v Speaker 1>friend Rachel and I were talking about this when they

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<v Speaker 1>came to visit um over the holidays, and I said,

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<v Speaker 1>I have to go to the bathroom, but then I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to go because I have to do I

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<v Speaker 1>have to I walk past the laundry, so I have

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<v Speaker 1>to put the laundry in the dryer, and then I'll

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<v Speaker 1>stop by the refrigerator because I'll probably have to make

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<v Speaker 1>something for Jolie. And then I'll see something on the

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<v Speaker 1>counter that I have to do, and then I'll take

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<v Speaker 1>a phone call and then it's five hours later and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I have a bladder infection. Meanwhile, if I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I have to go to the bathroom just

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit, I'm like, you know what, it's a

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<v Speaker 1>good time. I'm gonna go in the bathroom and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>gonna stop whatever it is I'm doing in that moment

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<v Speaker 1>to go have my time and secualary. And I realized

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<v Speaker 1>now that why when I was a kid, why my

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<v Speaker 1>dad would take so long in the bathroom where they

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<v Speaker 1>had to go numb. One or two, I realized it

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<v Speaker 1>was escaped from the kids. And now I'm realizing I'm

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<v Speaker 1>becoming that guy. But here's the thing that's what's so

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<v Speaker 1>frustrating is because I know when I know when you're

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<v Speaker 1>in the bathroom, because it's at least twenty to thirty

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<v Speaker 1>minutes of where's daddie and you're I opened the door

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<v Speaker 1>and you're playing like Solitaire on your on your phone

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<v Speaker 1>or something that would be more realistic five minutes, but

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<v Speaker 1>even five minutes feels like a longer time. It's your

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<v Speaker 1>feet will go, my legs like go to sleep. If

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<v Speaker 1>I sit on there any longer than that, that's when

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<v Speaker 1>you know you're on too long. When I stand up

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<v Speaker 1>or something and like my feet are tingling because they

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<v Speaker 1>fell asleep from sitting down too long. I love that

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<v Speaker 1>this is just become a full on conversation. But since

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<v Speaker 1>we're on this topic about the kids, I see Julie

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't let me go to the bathroom because the other

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<v Speaker 1>day I actually sat down because I had to pooh,

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<v Speaker 1>and so Julie comes in. She she was mommy poopoo,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, can I just have five minutes?

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<v Speaker 1>Even when I had take five minutes, I still don't

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<v Speaker 1>get five minutes. I understand she Uli does that to

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<v Speaker 1>me too. But what's funny you there about you when

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<v Speaker 1>is when you're like, hey, can can you hold Jason?

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<v Speaker 1>I have to give a bathroom and I'll be in

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<v Speaker 1>the middle of doing something and you're like, hey, can

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<v Speaker 1>you hold it? And I'm in my head, I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you do when I'm not here? Like do

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<v Speaker 1>you actually with him in my arm? Literally? It was

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<v Speaker 1>so I was like I had to go so bad

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't put him down and kept crying. So I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, all right, Jason in the party with me

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<v Speaker 1>one arm cradling him, and I'm like wiping a button.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a parent right there. Parent life. Anyways, Well that

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<v Speaker 1>was a fun little topic for you. There you go

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<v Speaker 1>put I'm bump boom, and I still have to pee

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<v Speaker 1>ladies and gentlemen. So we have Jillian Michael's calling in

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<v Speaker 1>any minute. And I just do realize how big of

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<v Speaker 1>a fan I am of hers. I thought I did

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<v Speaker 1>until you started geeking out. I know. So I'm such

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<v Speaker 1>a big fan of hers that I actually went to

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<v Speaker 1>one of the Biggest Loser Finette live tapings in l a. I.

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<v Speaker 1>I just think it's so good. She's so mean, but

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<v Speaker 1>she's just like awesome. She's like the abbe Leie Miller

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<v Speaker 1>of of workouts, of weight loss, you have weight loss.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like that's you have that persona in you.

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<v Speaker 1>You just wish you could be more mean, Like you're

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<v Speaker 1>you're already in Alpha and the Boss, but you wish

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<v Speaker 1>you had more mean in your body. Yeah, like like that.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I have a lot of people listening

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<v Speaker 1>right now, like Kathink like, well, you can kind of

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<v Speaker 1>be me. Oh, you definitely can. The one is closest

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<v Speaker 1>to you. We definitely know you can be. But your

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<v Speaker 1>heart is still in a good place. Um, there's something

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<v Speaker 1>else that's gonna say about her. Oh so there's this

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<v Speaker 1>stuff going around right now that she totally diss the

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<v Speaker 1>Keto diet, and so so what does the Keto diet into?

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<v Speaker 1>Keto diet is basically the whole thirty but it lets

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<v Speaker 1>you have wine, and it lets you have some fruits,

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<v Speaker 1>not all thru it. Lets you have Um. It basically

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<v Speaker 1>is putting your body to ketosis is that the right word.

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<v Speaker 1>No idea is that markya. So there's certain things you

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<v Speaker 1>can have. It's it's very similar to the Whole thirty.

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<v Speaker 1>But she hate eat it on it and I'll broker

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<v Speaker 1>a few other people or Andy Cohen just said, well,

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<v Speaker 1>basically dissed her back. So I'm really curious to see

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<v Speaker 1>what she thinks. Because we tried the Whole thirty and

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<v Speaker 1>I wanted to quit every two. I was like, Michael,

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<v Speaker 1>come on, we don't have to do this. We don't

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<v Speaker 1>have to deprive help justifying everything. I just really wanted

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<v Speaker 1>my glass of wine. So I'm on the on the

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<v Speaker 1>Wine thirty, That's what I'm calling. So I'm still doing

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<v Speaker 1>the whole thirty, but I'm letting myself drink wine because

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<v Speaker 1>why the f not. I sent a text message to

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<v Speaker 1>Juliet I go, look, I am thirty five year old

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<v Speaker 1>making adults. If I want to have it a thin

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<v Speaker 1>glass of wine, I'm going to have one because I

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<v Speaker 1>can sound like a lot of justification, rationalization, whatever right

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<v Speaker 1>now what everyone does when they have like a New

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<v Speaker 1>Year's resolution, Everyone's just like, you know what, I'm an adult. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm still I'm still following some of the rules for

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<v Speaker 1>the month. We're following a lot of the rules. Besides

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<v Speaker 1>But besides that, I'm pretty sure it was a dirty compliance.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought you said we weren't doing that. I wasn't

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<v Speaker 1>until I saw it. I'm gonna have two lasses one.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not my fault. What do you think you're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>ask Jillian work out questions? There is going to be

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<v Speaker 1>more like workout No, not workout questions. I'm interested. I

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<v Speaker 1>wrote two things down which I can just ask her

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<v Speaker 1>on there. Okay, well that was fun, has a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of fun. Would you like me to you want to

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<v Speaker 1>discuss the questions down? Out of all the things she's done,

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<v Speaker 1>she's done a ton, right, what is she most proud of?

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<v Speaker 1>Probably her kids? You know, shed were accomplishment, most proud of,

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<v Speaker 1>most proud of, most proud of you say, I don't talk. Oh.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, we got into an argument the other

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<v Speaker 1>day in Mark and Michael was the biggest a hole

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<v Speaker 1>in the whole entire place. We've talked about this. You're

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to save all arguments for this podcast. I know, well,

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<v Speaker 1>this one we could not table. So we got into

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<v Speaker 1>probably our first blowout in a minute. Yeah, it was

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<v Speaker 1>a while and so we have some old behaviors come

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<v Speaker 1>off for like, we both kind of pretended it didn't happen.

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<v Speaker 1>I did talk to my therapist about it though, so

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<v Speaker 1>we did. Are we going to process it with our

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<v Speaker 1>couples therapists? We can keep him in the dark to know, Okay. Well, anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>so we're in we're in the bed and he's being

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<v Speaker 1>really mean because he gets really mean when we argue,

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<v Speaker 1>Like he says really nasty things when I when I

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<v Speaker 1>go offline, I can be mean. By the way, though, sidebar,

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<v Speaker 1>when people go offline, they also can kill spouses. So

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<v Speaker 1>that scares me when you say, well, when I go offline,

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<v Speaker 1>I say mean things. I'm not a monster. Maybe these

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<v Speaker 1>people are. They are. I'm just saying, you know, things

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<v Speaker 1>people can go offline. You never know what to do. Anyways,

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<v Speaker 1>we got into this argument and he made fun of

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<v Speaker 1>how I talk. Maybe if you speak clearer and I

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<v Speaker 1>that shooting. I just no. He basically says that I

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<v Speaker 1>don't talk right. You don't talk right. No, it's just

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<v Speaker 1>you have a different vocabulary than others. So basically, if

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<v Speaker 1>I said, because the charger thing, the power outlet I'm

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<v Speaker 1>looking at on the wall, a chargers charges things. So

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<v Speaker 1>she said, she said, there's a charger in the living room.

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<v Speaker 1>And I got the liver room and look for a

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<v Speaker 1>charger and there's not a charger out there. And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>there's not a charger. Say, kid, you know what the

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<v Speaker 1>way the thing you plug stuff in like the charger.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you mean the power outlets are that thing?

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<v Speaker 1>So God bless you, honey. Anyways, but you mocked me,

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<v Speaker 1>and that wasn't very nice. I don't know where I

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<v Speaker 1>was going with that, but that canvy would lead to

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<v Speaker 1>the argument. No, the argument, we can't talk about it

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<v Speaker 1>on air. I got triggered. Oh this is what happened.

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<v Speaker 1>So I got triggered by something and he was also

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about So I got giggered, and I will in

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<v Speaker 1>that moment, I would have liked if he acknowledged the

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<v Speaker 1>trigger because he was also thinking it too, and I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't ready to say, Hey, a great topical, Jillian. So

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<v Speaker 1>let's definitely talk about this. Okay, we have to call

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<v Speaker 1>it right now, yes, but this is a good tease,

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<v Speaker 1>so you will elaborate more after we talk to Jillian.

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<v Speaker 1>I just love your voice. Marks stay tuned. We'll we'll

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<v Speaker 1>elaborate more after we talk to Jillian. Okay, So Michael

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<v Speaker 1>and I are moving to Nashville and we are knee

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<v Speaker 1>deep right now in designing our home, which is what

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<v Speaker 1>your exact specifications. They're also a limited lifetime warranty included.

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0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:12.719
<v Speaker 1>confident in their product that all their sheets, comforters, and

0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.720
<v Speaker 1>towels come with a lifetime warranty. The only way to

0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:18.199
<v Speaker 1>get twenty dollars off and free shipping is to use

0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.320
<v Speaker 1>promo code Joanna at Brooklyn and dot com. That's b

0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.720
<v Speaker 1>r O O KA l I N e N dot

0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:30.800
<v Speaker 1>com promo code Joanna. Hey, Jillian, Mike good, Um, how

0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:36.319
<v Speaker 1>are you? Oh good? We've been a little bit hectic lately,

0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:38.640
<v Speaker 1>but good. So you're in New York right now? Right?

0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I was talking your Instagram last night because I'm a

0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:44.400
<v Speaker 1>massive fan. So you're in New York promoting your book right? Oh? Well,

0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:48.120
<v Speaker 1>thank you. It's totally mutual, and yes, that is. We

0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.520
<v Speaker 1>were in Toronto and now we're in New York, so

0:11:51.559 --> 0:11:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I know how crazy today and the book tour is

0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.040
<v Speaker 1>for you. But I'm just we're so thankful that you

0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 1>um called in because again, like I said, I've been

0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:01.680
<v Speaker 1>a huge fan of yours for a long time, so

0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm just I'm super excited. I know, I know we

0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:05.360
<v Speaker 1>only have you for ten minutes, so we're going to

0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:10.160
<v Speaker 1>drill you right now. Is that cool? Oh? Please? Yeah? Absolutely? Okay,

0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:12.840
<v Speaker 1>so obviously we have to talk about the drama that's

0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:15.000
<v Speaker 1>going on right now about the Keto diet and the

0:12:15.000 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 1>things that you than. I'm so sorry. Can we talk

0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 1>about that? Okay? Honestly, I think it's kind of ridiculous

0:12:22.160 --> 0:12:24.920
<v Speaker 1>because it's so ridiculous, and the fact that they fired

0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:27.240
<v Speaker 1>back like that honestly pissed me off. And I wanted

0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.280
<v Speaker 1>to be like she was just obviously you know more

0:12:31.320 --> 0:12:36.000
<v Speaker 1>than they know, because you're it's my job exactly. It's

0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:39.000
<v Speaker 1>like it's like, um, you talking about being an anchor

0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.959
<v Speaker 1>person or a host, you know, doing their job, right.

0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:45.319
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's But what's interesting about this is that

0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:50.400
<v Speaker 1>I've been two years researching this last book, and I

0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:54.640
<v Speaker 1>had a co author, which I very rarely do, specialized

0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:58.280
<v Speaker 1>in the space of anti aging, and you know, we

0:12:58.480 --> 0:13:03.440
<v Speaker 1>together review hundreds of studies, interviewed the top These guys

0:13:03.440 --> 0:13:07.040
<v Speaker 1>are called euroscientists. WI, you're scientists that specialize in anti aging.

0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:12.000
<v Speaker 1>I personally work with the top end of chronologists, registered dietitians. Like,

0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.720
<v Speaker 1>this information is not coming from me personally. I didn't

0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:15.840
<v Speaker 1>just come out and go, you know what I have

0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:19.960
<v Speaker 1>in the band like this is this is science. So

0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.560
<v Speaker 1>by the way, it's also a common sense. But you know,

0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.600
<v Speaker 1>so for keto diet, what is what is the problem

0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:29.440
<v Speaker 1>that you're there? They're basically you're not getting the nutrients

0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:31.760
<v Speaker 1>that you should be getting. It's a kind of a

0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:35.040
<v Speaker 1>long answer, right, because there are so many problems with it.

0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:39.319
<v Speaker 1>So I mean, let's first look at what the diet

0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:41.800
<v Speaker 1>of spouses. And it's kind of tough to get to

0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.880
<v Speaker 1>really pin someone down because people do different versions of it.

0:13:45.559 --> 0:13:48.000
<v Speaker 1>So for example, I'm so sorry. I think my eight

0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:50.920
<v Speaker 1>year old is dancing in the room and I love

0:13:50.960 --> 0:13:53.199
<v Speaker 1>the dancing and the singing, but if we could keep

0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>the singing just right now? Uh? And I, by the way,

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.320
<v Speaker 1>I remember seeing you a tailgate best with your little

0:13:58.320 --> 0:14:01.200
<v Speaker 1>girl on stage, so I know that you're I totally

0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:07.720
<v Speaker 1>understand through. Please forgive the background noise. But um, so

0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:13.000
<v Speaker 1>thinking it as follows, right, First of all, what keto

0:14:13.600 --> 0:14:17.000
<v Speaker 1>are most keto people talk about is like, well, it's

0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:18.720
<v Speaker 1>low card, right, And the whole key is to be

0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:22.920
<v Speaker 1>in ketosis, which means you're depriving your body of carbohydrates

0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.440
<v Speaker 1>to the point of what is quite honestly considered a

0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:28.560
<v Speaker 1>state of medical emergency, and the body then starts burning

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:31.120
<v Speaker 1>through fat at an accelerated pace, and we think, well

0:14:31.160 --> 0:14:34.160
<v Speaker 1>that's great, right, Like who wouldn't think that's great because

0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:38.160
<v Speaker 1>there's no other source of fuel. In addition, people with

0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:43.600
<v Speaker 1>infulin related health issues like type two diabetes or polycystical

0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 1>variant syndrome. Are saying, oh, well, you know it's helped

0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 1>me reverse all these conditions, And you'd also think, well,

0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:52.960
<v Speaker 1>that would be great, right, But the reality is that

0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:56.200
<v Speaker 1>you can do all those things with common sense eating

0:14:56.520 --> 0:15:00.320
<v Speaker 1>balanced macronutrients right, restricting your calories, and work not on

0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:03.440
<v Speaker 1>a consistent basis. Because by the way, I had pc

0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.400
<v Speaker 1>US as a kid, I was overweight as a teenager,

0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 1>and I not only have kept myself help eating common sense,

0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.240
<v Speaker 1>clean foods, balance macros, but it's helped thousands of other

0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 1>people achieved the exact same thing. So point being, you

0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:20.880
<v Speaker 1>can get all the good with a healthy diet that

0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.280
<v Speaker 1>has none of the side effects. Now, yeah, I wasna

0:15:25.400 --> 0:15:27.920
<v Speaker 1>because Michael and I, Michael and I challenged ourselves to

0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.120
<v Speaker 1>do the Whole thirty this month. We've we've already quit.

0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:32.880
<v Speaker 1>But do you do you feel this? Do you feel

0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.480
<v Speaker 1>do you feel the same way about the whole thirty? No?

0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean this is the whole thirty is just whole

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.520
<v Speaker 1>foods right for thirty days? Yeah, but no wine, Jillian,

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:44.800
<v Speaker 1>no wine. Okay, I'm a mama too, Okay, Okay, So

0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:48.120
<v Speaker 1>you know what's interesting about that. So basically just just

0:15:48.240 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 1>kind of drop up on the key too. You're you're

0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:54.440
<v Speaker 1>you're starving your body of fiber micronutrients, which are vitamins

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.000
<v Speaker 1>and minerals when you cut out food groups um of

0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:00.160
<v Speaker 1>macro nutrients. Right, so yoursells are made up of seen

0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.040
<v Speaker 1>fat and carve. We've seen that diets high and saturated

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:06.400
<v Speaker 1>fats and animal protein are bad for achilomeres, which would

0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:08.920
<v Speaker 1>these little taps in your DNA strands that protect yourself.

0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.040
<v Speaker 1>It's taxing on the liver, it's taxing on your adrenal system,

0:16:12.040 --> 0:16:14.440
<v Speaker 1>it's taxing on your thyroid, and the list goes on

0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:16.600
<v Speaker 1>and on and on. So when you look in the

0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.200
<v Speaker 1>mirror and you think you've lost weight, you're you're not

0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.880
<v Speaker 1>seeing the damage you're doing to your inside long term.

0:16:22.040 --> 0:16:24.200
<v Speaker 1>So again we could go on and on and on,

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:26.320
<v Speaker 1>and I write all about it in the book. But well,

0:16:26.360 --> 0:16:29.320
<v Speaker 1>we're talking about wine. That's actually a very This is

0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:30.960
<v Speaker 1>something I act. I did a bit of it about

0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:35.960
<v Speaker 1>faith because for years, alcohol is not great when you're

0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:37.520
<v Speaker 1>trying to lose weight, right, So I would say that

0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:39.200
<v Speaker 1>you know you've got to stop drinking if you're trying

0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:43.920
<v Speaker 1>to lose weight, but when it comes to longevity up

0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 1>to they say to drinks at night, and I was

0:16:46.920 --> 0:16:48.880
<v Speaker 1>just in my mind, I was like, Okay, that's it's

0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:51.600
<v Speaker 1>a lot of alcohol over the course of a lifetime.

0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:54.760
<v Speaker 1>And we do know that drinking too much is related

0:16:54.760 --> 0:17:01.880
<v Speaker 1>to ovarian cancer, breast cancer and can contribute to ABC. Okay,

0:17:02.000 --> 0:17:06.399
<v Speaker 1>so think six to eight drinks a week max. And

0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:12.040
<v Speaker 1>no more than two to three max. A night. It's fine.

0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:14.280
<v Speaker 1>I just want I just want one a night, Jillian,

0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:17.520
<v Speaker 1>one a night. That's fine. That's good for you. So

0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.679
<v Speaker 1>especially brand the aging. It helps to remove amyloid plaques

0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:24.000
<v Speaker 1>associated with Alzheimer's from from your brain. Literally, it's like

0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:27.400
<v Speaker 1>a bath for your brain. It helps keep your liver

0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:32.200
<v Speaker 1>primed with specific enzymes and improved detoxification and digestion. Because

0:17:32.200 --> 0:17:34.840
<v Speaker 1>when we really talk detox like that's the job of

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.320
<v Speaker 1>your liver. Nothing else is doing that except your long

0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:40.639
<v Speaker 1>your liver. Just mean, it's not sweating, it's not starvation

0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:44.200
<v Speaker 1>and not eating, it's making sure those organs function optimally

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.720
<v Speaker 1>and keeping your liver prime to a little bit of

0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:49.760
<v Speaker 1>alcohol actually helps you do that. Um and red wine

0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.800
<v Speaker 1>has a lot of anti axims and polyphenos in it

0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:55.200
<v Speaker 1>like resveratrol to help fight free radicals. So you're you're

0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:58.520
<v Speaker 1>doing fine. There Can we drink wine together sometime? I

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:02.880
<v Speaker 1>would love to. That's the that's jan is happy, she's

0:18:02.880 --> 0:18:05.640
<v Speaker 1>set for the day. She she just needed to know

0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:07.320
<v Speaker 1>that she can hang out with you and also justify

0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.880
<v Speaker 1>her wine drinking because we eat healthy right, And that's

0:18:10.960 --> 0:18:13.240
<v Speaker 1>and that's the thing too that brings me to my question,

0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Jillian is obviously so many people across the country, especially

0:18:16.600 --> 0:18:19.080
<v Speaker 1>during the month of January, you know, New Year, knew

0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:20.679
<v Speaker 1>me and all that stuff. They want to diet, they

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:25.240
<v Speaker 1>want to work out. What is your advice from your profession,

0:18:25.320 --> 0:18:28.280
<v Speaker 1>your experience for someone you know who is trying to

0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:31.240
<v Speaker 1>change their eating habits or workout habits, what's their advice?

0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:37.080
<v Speaker 1>What's advice for them to like stick to it? Okay, First,

0:18:37.119 --> 0:18:42.040
<v Speaker 1>I would say a balanced approach, one that isn't too

0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.680
<v Speaker 1>extreme one way or another, whether it's fitness or food,

0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:49.440
<v Speaker 1>it is not only better for you, but it's more sustainable.

0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:51.240
<v Speaker 1>But the second thing is that at the end of

0:18:51.240 --> 0:18:54.800
<v Speaker 1>the day, anything worth having right, whether it's a flourishing career,

0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:58.200
<v Speaker 1>a healthy relationship, a healthy body is going to require

0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:03.560
<v Speaker 1>work and some sacrifice. But if you have a why,

0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:06.920
<v Speaker 1>you can tolerate the how. And how is the work

0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:10.199
<v Speaker 1>on the sacrifice associated with the goal. Then that's why

0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.240
<v Speaker 1>I always say, like, work with a purpose becomes passion,

0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:16.560
<v Speaker 1>but work without purpose just feels punishing. And I think

0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:18.879
<v Speaker 1>we already feel punished up by the stressors of our

0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:22.960
<v Speaker 1>daily lives. You're really gonna stop and think, how is

0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:24.480
<v Speaker 1>my life going to improve? I go to the gym

0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.399
<v Speaker 1>for twentyman's stay instead of you know, just going home

0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:29.520
<v Speaker 1>and picking up take out and sitting on the couch

0:19:29.560 --> 0:19:31.879
<v Speaker 1>to watch my favorite show because it sounds good to

0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:35.320
<v Speaker 1>me in this moment. And I mean, like details, is

0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.280
<v Speaker 1>it meeting your kids kids, is it looking good in

0:19:38.320 --> 0:19:40.480
<v Speaker 1>a wedding dress? Is it wearing a two piece instead

0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.000
<v Speaker 1>of a one piece? Is it sexy with the light song?

0:19:43.080 --> 0:19:45.159
<v Speaker 1>Which I happen to think is greatly overrated? But you

0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:48.800
<v Speaker 1>know what, it's the day from us, So you know

0:19:48.920 --> 0:19:53.639
<v Speaker 1>why I cut out our options. It doesn't matter what

0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:57.280
<v Speaker 1>the reasoning is, as long as you care about it,

0:19:57.720 --> 0:20:00.280
<v Speaker 1>and if you care enough, you'll do the work and

0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:04.359
<v Speaker 1>it will be worth it. That's fantastic and so relaying

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:07.760
<v Speaker 1>that message everybody. What's your y every day, Jillian, Like,

0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 1>what motivates you to do the work that you do

0:20:10.119 --> 0:20:14.680
<v Speaker 1>across the board? I have so many right of course, now,

0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 1>like you guys, I have young kids and I want

0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:20.040
<v Speaker 1>to be around for them. I want to meet their kids.

0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:22.720
<v Speaker 1>I would love to meet their kids kids. I want

0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:24.919
<v Speaker 1>to set an example for my kids. I want to

0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.840
<v Speaker 1>be the mom that's like powerful and strong and on

0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:30.760
<v Speaker 1>this geeselopes with them, shooting hoops with them, not like

0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.680
<v Speaker 1>on the sideline, you know, kind of with a soda

0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:35.720
<v Speaker 1>in my hand. Not that I judge any of their parents,

0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:39.800
<v Speaker 1>but for my kids, I want to be in their lives,

0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:43.120
<v Speaker 1>not on the sidelines of their lives. And I want

0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:45.520
<v Speaker 1>to show them it's okay to make time for yourself.

0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.199
<v Speaker 1>It's okay to make yourself a priority because then you're

0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:52.080
<v Speaker 1>better able to support other people. So family, of course

0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:53.920
<v Speaker 1>would be number one. And you know what, like any

0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:55.720
<v Speaker 1>other human, I want to look good. I want to

0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:59.199
<v Speaker 1>feel good about my body and feel comfortable in my

0:20:59.240 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 1>own skin. I want to wear skinny jeans and feel

0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.080
<v Speaker 1>good in them. And I don't think there's anything wrong

0:21:05.240 --> 0:21:07.520
<v Speaker 1>with that, and it doesn't mean, you shouldn't feel good

0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:10.280
<v Speaker 1>at any size. I just personally feel better when I'm

0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:14.160
<v Speaker 1>a size four. You know, that's what I feel, healthy

0:21:14.160 --> 0:21:17.280
<v Speaker 1>and strong. That's amazing. So, Jillian, you have your new

0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:19.560
<v Speaker 1>book out right now. It's The Six Keys unlot To

0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:22.639
<v Speaker 1>you know. I don't let you just use it because

0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:26.600
<v Speaker 1>because I just got time. Time. It's The Six Keys

0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:31.320
<v Speaker 1>to Unlock your Genetic Potential for ageless health, strength and beauty.

0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:34.359
<v Speaker 1>And bottom line's an anti aging book and I'm not

0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:36.360
<v Speaker 1>afraid to say that. And the whole idea is that

0:21:36.600 --> 0:21:39.280
<v Speaker 1>we should want to be the best version of ourselves

0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:43.520
<v Speaker 1>for years to come. So whether you your grandparents had

0:21:43.520 --> 0:21:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Alzheimer's and you want to prevent it um or take

0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 1>every stuff you can to prevent it, or again you

0:21:48.960 --> 0:21:51.119
<v Speaker 1>just want to look and feel great in every decade

0:21:51.119 --> 0:21:53.520
<v Speaker 1>of your life, this book is designed to help you

0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:56.280
<v Speaker 1>do that. Well, Gillian, we love you. I love everything

0:21:56.400 --> 0:21:58.919
<v Speaker 1>you're about. So thank you so much for coming on

0:21:58.960 --> 0:22:00.760
<v Speaker 1>the show and to talk to us. We appreciate it.

0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:02.800
<v Speaker 1>And good luck with your book. I'm going to get

0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:05.320
<v Speaker 1>it right now. I'm gonna I'm gonna hold you to

0:22:05.440 --> 0:22:06.920
<v Speaker 1>that wine day the next time we're in the same

0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:15.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, please, all right, Julian, Okay, thanks. She wants

0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:18.720
<v Speaker 1>to have wine with me. That's amazing. I just like

0:22:18.800 --> 0:22:22.160
<v Speaker 1>the fact that she's because when I work out with Aaron,

0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:25.560
<v Speaker 1>she'll be like, no wine. It's like Aaron, you know,

0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:28.359
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to have wine. But I think it's all about,

0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:30.480
<v Speaker 1>like she said, it's moderation. It's not about starving your

0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:32.480
<v Speaker 1>body of things. And I think when we did the

0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:36.040
<v Speaker 1>whole thirty we started, we took away things that we

0:22:36.160 --> 0:22:38.240
<v Speaker 1>like your sandwich is, yes, do you have to have

0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:40.520
<v Speaker 1>a sandwich every single day and have breads and passes? No,

0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:43.399
<v Speaker 1>But it's things in moderation, which I think is important

0:22:43.400 --> 0:22:45.520
<v Speaker 1>instead of just completely taking everything out of your diet.

0:22:45.520 --> 0:22:47.160
<v Speaker 1>Because we're going to put those things back in even

0:22:47.160 --> 0:22:49.360
<v Speaker 1>though I'm not doing I'm you know, I'm not doing

0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:53.480
<v Speaker 1>cheese or dairy this month, and and carbs grains, but

0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:55.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna eventually have those again. So why why don't

0:22:55.960 --> 0:22:58.639
<v Speaker 1>I I don't know, it's just it's gonna be just

0:22:58.640 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 1>so fat to me. No, And that's a thing, like

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:03.840
<v Speaker 1>Jillian was saying, it's all about balance, whatever kind of

0:23:03.920 --> 0:23:06.679
<v Speaker 1>change you make in your life. And if people just

0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:10.000
<v Speaker 1>drastically change everything they do for a new year, their

0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 1>new New Year's resolution. Then just that just added adds

0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:15.879
<v Speaker 1>so much stress onto whatever stress they already have in

0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:19.800
<v Speaker 1>their life. Granted, it depends on your mentality too, Like

0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:27.840
<v Speaker 1>for me personally, personally, speak for yourself. Um, I know

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:32.399
<v Speaker 1>that for like carbs, for sandwiches and everything. I just

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:35.879
<v Speaker 1>love a sandwich at lunch. I have to cut it

0:23:35.880 --> 0:23:40.640
<v Speaker 1>out completely. What you can't just have one otherwise I'm

0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:43.000
<v Speaker 1>just saying for the time being, like for this month,

0:23:43.760 --> 0:23:47.159
<v Speaker 1>because yeah, otherwise I will have one one day and

0:23:47.160 --> 0:23:49.480
<v Speaker 1>it's like I hadn't we yesterday, I'll have another that

0:23:49.520 --> 0:23:51.239
<v Speaker 1>was really good. I'll have another one the next thing.

0:23:51.280 --> 0:23:52.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's like four days in a row I

0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:56.840
<v Speaker 1>had a sandwich, and if you want a sandwich, I know,

0:23:57.000 --> 0:23:58.800
<v Speaker 1>I know, But then you know, what's the point of

0:23:58.840 --> 0:24:01.480
<v Speaker 1>even unquote doing a diet if we're not going to

0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:04.160
<v Speaker 1>do something. I'm just trying to break my habits, which

0:24:04.160 --> 0:24:06.119
<v Speaker 1>is why I wanted to do this begin with, not

0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:09.080
<v Speaker 1>have the protein bar every single morning, actually make breakfast,

0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:12.879
<v Speaker 1>and we've made lunches and had salads or and I

0:24:12.960 --> 0:24:17.000
<v Speaker 1>never eat lunch, and actually eating real fits you never

0:24:17.119 --> 0:24:19.160
<v Speaker 1>ate lunch. I always had sandwiches, So now we're actually

0:24:19.200 --> 0:24:22.280
<v Speaker 1>having substantial meals at lunch. Oh. I do have a

0:24:22.359 --> 0:24:24.959
<v Speaker 1>question though, for you that they about working out. So

0:24:25.040 --> 0:24:28.840
<v Speaker 1>I've made the workouts for the calendar, but yet you've

0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:30.720
<v Speaker 1>not come out to work out. So you say you

0:24:30.720 --> 0:24:32.320
<v Speaker 1>want to work out, and I put it on the calendar,

0:24:32.359 --> 0:24:34.000
<v Speaker 1>then why don't you fall through with it? So you're

0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:37.520
<v Speaker 1>being basically you're doing I never but the thing I

0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:40.320
<v Speaker 1>never said committed. I never said yeah, absolutely, I'll do

0:24:40.359 --> 0:24:42.360
<v Speaker 1>I'll be there. I just thought you wanted to work

0:24:42.359 --> 0:24:46.399
<v Speaker 1>out with me. For you, I think for me, the

0:24:46.480 --> 0:24:49.480
<v Speaker 1>times that you work out are my least motivating times

0:24:49.480 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 1>in the day. When do you want to work out?

0:24:52.480 --> 0:24:56.640
<v Speaker 1>In my in my career and everything, I was mostly

0:24:56.760 --> 0:25:01.959
<v Speaker 1>first thing in the morning, like six am now, right,

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:03.960
<v Speaker 1>But again now we have kids and all that, so

0:25:04.040 --> 0:25:06.960
<v Speaker 1>that's just not a realistic thing when we're up with

0:25:07.040 --> 0:25:11.880
<v Speaker 1>the infant right now. Um. By the way, Michael got

0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:13.840
<v Speaker 1>rule ups at last night and he slammed his hand

0:25:13.880 --> 0:25:17.280
<v Speaker 1>to the wall glass that was rough was a zombie.

0:25:17.640 --> 0:25:20.160
<v Speaker 1>I don't even remember that, really, you don't, not really

0:25:20.240 --> 0:25:23.360
<v Speaker 1>I do. I remember you going good and then next

0:25:23.400 --> 0:25:25.480
<v Speaker 1>thing I know here hand to the I was like, Michael,

0:25:25.600 --> 0:25:28.280
<v Speaker 1>switch now immediately go to bed. He said, no, under,

0:25:29.080 --> 0:25:32.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get him. Go to the room immediately with

0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:35.840
<v Speaker 1>my tail between my legs and head down. Well, sometimes

0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:37.880
<v Speaker 1>it can be so frustrating when they keep crying, but

0:25:37.960 --> 0:25:39.560
<v Speaker 1>that's when you that's when we got to tag out bed.

0:25:40.080 --> 0:25:43.520
<v Speaker 1>But anyways, so I either first thing in the morning

0:25:43.640 --> 0:25:46.080
<v Speaker 1>or later at night. It's just your time isn't motivating

0:25:46.080 --> 0:25:47.360
<v Speaker 1>for me, So I just have to find my own

0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:51.639
<v Speaker 1>time tapping up. So along with Michael and I eating healthy,

0:25:51.840 --> 0:25:55.560
<v Speaker 1>we're also adding in a healthier overall lifestyle so you

0:25:55.560 --> 0:25:59.880
<v Speaker 1>can ditch all the expensive gym membership, personal trainers, and nutritionalists.

0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:04.399
<v Speaker 1>So with NOM, okay, they help you educate on a

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.199
<v Speaker 1>healthier lifestyle and habits. NOOM doesn't say you can't have

0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:11.520
<v Speaker 1>certain foods, so that means you can have things in moderation,

0:26:11.560 --> 0:26:13.600
<v Speaker 1>and that's exactly what they're teaching you. Weight losses in

0:26:13.640 --> 0:26:17.160
<v Speaker 1>the palm of your hand, literally on your phone, whenever

0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:19.119
<v Speaker 1>and wherever you need it. You don't have to be

0:26:19.160 --> 0:26:22.919
<v Speaker 1>a celebrity to have personalized training of your own support system.

0:26:23.040 --> 0:26:25.200
<v Speaker 1>What I also love about Noon too, is that there's

0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:27.480
<v Speaker 1>a community there for you. There's group discussions with fellow

0:26:27.520 --> 0:26:29.639
<v Speaker 1>new members to keep you encouraged, and then all for

0:26:29.760 --> 0:26:31.359
<v Speaker 1>less than the price of a single appointment with a

0:26:31.440 --> 0:26:34.280
<v Speaker 1>nutritionalist or personal trainer. And it's so easy. I just

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:36.359
<v Speaker 1>had to take the thirty second quiz and they emailed

0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:38.000
<v Speaker 1>me a custom course that would help me reach the

0:26:38.000 --> 0:26:40.480
<v Speaker 1>goal that I want. They even sent out a fourteen

0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:43.560
<v Speaker 1>page packet covering details of your goals for your health

0:26:43.560 --> 0:26:46.399
<v Speaker 1>and mental wellness, you're eating habits, and what new eating

0:26:46.400 --> 0:26:50.480
<v Speaker 1>habits you want. It's literally an online nutritionist num is

0:26:50.520 --> 0:26:52.879
<v Speaker 1>designed for your results. Meet your resolutions by signing up

0:26:52.880 --> 0:26:55.199
<v Speaker 1>for your trial today at noon and O O M

0:26:55.359 --> 0:26:57.480
<v Speaker 1>dot com slash Jana, what do you have to lose?

0:26:57.600 --> 0:26:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Visit noon dot com slash Jane to start your trial

0:26:59.800 --> 0:27:03.040
<v Speaker 1>toy again, that's nooon dot com slash Janna start losing

0:27:03.040 --> 0:27:06.119
<v Speaker 1>weight for good. You know I hate when an easy

0:27:06.200 --> 0:27:09.240
<v Speaker 1>task takes up a lot of your day. Well, also,

0:27:09.400 --> 0:27:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you just did this with Jolie and you wanted to

0:27:11.880 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 1>pull your hair out. Oh wait, you don't have hair

0:27:14.080 --> 0:27:16.520
<v Speaker 1>my back heart that works. I'm gonna stop going the

0:27:16.560 --> 0:27:19.200
<v Speaker 1>post office to send letters and packages. Were not telling

0:27:19.240 --> 0:27:21.359
<v Speaker 1>you about Stamp style, I know you have, And finally

0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:23.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm giving in. Jana has been on it for a while.

0:27:23.440 --> 0:27:26.639
<v Speaker 1>Now I'm conforming. Stamps dot Com brings all the amazing

0:27:26.680 --> 0:27:29.040
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0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:32.040
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0:27:32.119 --> 0:27:33.600
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0:27:33.600 --> 0:27:37.800
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0:27:37.920 --> 0:27:41.240
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0:27:41.280 --> 0:27:43.200
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0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:46.640
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0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:48.760
<v Speaker 1>the digital scale. So start the new year off right.

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:50.879
<v Speaker 1>Go to stamps dot com, click on the microphone at

0:27:50.880 --> 0:27:52.920
<v Speaker 1>the top of the homepage and type in Janna. That's

0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:57.080
<v Speaker 1>Stamps dot com and enter Janna. All right, so it's

0:27:57.119 --> 0:27:59.600
<v Speaker 1>fertility time. Dr Kristen Bendixon is going to be on

0:27:59.640 --> 0:28:01.800
<v Speaker 1>the phone. We're dialing in her right now. She's an

0:28:01.800 --> 0:28:05.280
<v Speaker 1>assistant professor of I can never say this word at

0:28:05.280 --> 0:28:10.920
<v Speaker 1>gunecology at USC. Kristen. Yeah, sorry, Dr Kristen. Um. This

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:17.000
<v Speaker 1>is Janna and Mike. Hi. I'm good. How are you guys? Good?

0:28:17.520 --> 0:28:19.879
<v Speaker 1>So we're super excited to talk to you because Michael

0:28:19.920 --> 0:28:22.120
<v Speaker 1>and I did an event a couple of weeks ago.

0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:25.640
<v Speaker 1>We did a live podcast event down in Santa Monica

0:28:25.840 --> 0:28:28.719
<v Speaker 1>and we held basically a live Q and A for

0:28:28.760 --> 0:28:31.920
<v Speaker 1>people to our fans to ask us questions. And one

0:28:31.920 --> 0:28:34.680
<v Speaker 1>of the reoccurring questions that came up time and time

0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:37.960
<v Speaker 1>again was about infertility, and so that's why we wanted

0:28:38.000 --> 0:28:40.800
<v Speaker 1>to have you on talk Um talk a little bit

0:28:40.800 --> 0:28:44.560
<v Speaker 1>more about infertility. And then also we really want people

0:28:44.680 --> 0:28:46.840
<v Speaker 1>to email their questions into so we'd love to have

0:28:46.880 --> 0:28:49.120
<v Speaker 1>you back on the show so you could uh answer

0:28:49.160 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 1>some of the questions that come in love It sounds great, Okay, awesome?

0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:55.800
<v Speaker 1>Who So, uh, Michael and I have done a couple

0:28:55.840 --> 0:29:00.520
<v Speaker 1>of rounds of ivf UM and so we of now

0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:03.560
<v Speaker 1>two kids. So we are we are officially I believe

0:29:03.760 --> 0:29:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I think done having kids. But are you ever officially done?

0:29:08.040 --> 0:29:10.800
<v Speaker 1>Well that's the thing. Michael's about to make his snipped

0:29:10.800 --> 0:29:13.320
<v Speaker 1>appointment and I was driving in the car. Didn't tell

0:29:13.360 --> 0:29:16.400
<v Speaker 1>his babe, but I was like, I mean, maybe maybe

0:29:16.440 --> 0:29:19.520
<v Speaker 1>we should try. I don't know. After last night, I

0:29:19.600 --> 0:29:23.120
<v Speaker 1>was like, yeah, we're done. We do. We have a

0:29:23.120 --> 0:29:27.560
<v Speaker 1>seven week old and so he's in the midst of Yes. No,

0:29:27.840 --> 0:29:30.440
<v Speaker 1>my kids are ten and twelve, but I remember those

0:29:30.520 --> 0:29:34.560
<v Speaker 1>days very vividly. But I do have a question though

0:29:34.600 --> 0:29:37.280
<v Speaker 1>about if that was to happen. So, you know, I'm

0:29:37.360 --> 0:29:41.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm thirty five, so technically I'm geriatric pregnancy. I'd be

0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:47.000
<v Speaker 1>geriatric pregnancy, right, No, I thought, compared to my patience,

0:29:47.080 --> 0:29:50.600
<v Speaker 1>you're young. Well technically the thirty five isn't that geriatric?

0:29:50.800 --> 0:29:53.360
<v Speaker 1>Was that they call it? No, No one goes. I mean,

0:29:53.600 --> 0:29:56.400
<v Speaker 1>it's horrible to call anything geriatric. But um, I mean

0:29:56.440 --> 0:29:59.200
<v Speaker 1>I think after the age of thirty five, there are

0:29:59.760 --> 0:30:02.320
<v Speaker 1>can it harder to get pregnant? Um, there can be

0:30:02.360 --> 0:30:06.200
<v Speaker 1>more complications and so um, you know, you just have

0:30:06.240 --> 0:30:08.480
<v Speaker 1>to kind of keep up closer eye on certain things.

0:30:08.720 --> 0:30:12.720
<v Speaker 1>But most pregnancies really aren't that different after the age

0:30:12.720 --> 0:30:17.360
<v Speaker 1>of thirty five than before. Christian what about it biologically

0:30:17.960 --> 0:30:21.920
<v Speaker 1>make like causes uh more difficulty once a woman is

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:24.640
<v Speaker 1>because thirty five is relatively young still in the big

0:30:24.680 --> 0:30:27.960
<v Speaker 1>picture of life, what about it makes it so much

0:30:28.000 --> 0:30:32.840
<v Speaker 1>more difficult about getting pregnant or in the pregnancy Sapa

0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:36.400
<v Speaker 1>Bross both getting pregnant and also any and the increased

0:30:36.480 --> 0:30:41.040
<v Speaker 1>risk of complications throughout pregnancy. UM So, in terms of

0:30:41.080 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 1>actually getting pregnant, the biggest issue is that, um, the

0:30:46.160 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 1>eggs are older. UM so, women's eggs are in their

0:30:51.080 --> 0:30:54.600
<v Speaker 1>ovaries since before they were born, um and so, and

0:30:54.640 --> 0:30:57.040
<v Speaker 1>they're not actually fully developed, and so they go through

0:30:57.040 --> 0:31:00.240
<v Speaker 1>their final stages of development at the time and of

0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:02.440
<v Speaker 1>like when the egg is being released at ogulation and

0:31:02.440 --> 0:31:05.120
<v Speaker 1>when it's getting fertilized by the sperm, and so all

0:31:05.160 --> 0:31:08.800
<v Speaker 1>the little mechanical parts that are responsible for guiding that

0:31:08.880 --> 0:31:12.280
<v Speaker 1>egg through that developmental process. Like if you're trying to

0:31:12.280 --> 0:31:14.640
<v Speaker 1>get pregnant thirty five, those little chemical parts of three five.

0:31:14.720 --> 0:31:17.880
<v Speaker 1>If if you're trying to get pregnant at forty, those

0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:22.160
<v Speaker 1>mechanical parts are forty and so, just like mechanical parts

0:31:22.280 --> 0:31:25.160
<v Speaker 1>of a phone, a car, a computer, you know what,

0:31:25.320 --> 0:31:29.120
<v Speaker 1>they just fail and screw up. Um And so unfortunately

0:31:29.200 --> 0:31:31.479
<v Speaker 1>with the egg, when those little mechanical parts go like

0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:35.920
<v Speaker 1>when things go badly, then oftentimes it leads to an embryo,

0:31:36.000 --> 0:31:38.000
<v Speaker 1>which is just a you guys, I mean as if

0:31:38.040 --> 0:31:40.600
<v Speaker 1>you've been through IBF, you know it's just a fertilized egg. UM.

0:31:40.760 --> 0:31:44.920
<v Speaker 1>That embryo just can't become a pregnancy. And so the

0:31:45.000 --> 0:31:48.400
<v Speaker 1>issue is is as you get older, those mechanical failures

0:31:48.480 --> 0:31:52.040
<v Speaker 1>are become more common, and so what that results in

0:31:52.200 --> 0:31:54.280
<v Speaker 1>is that when you release an egg each month, it's

0:31:54.320 --> 0:31:58.080
<v Speaker 1>just less likely that that egg can become a pregnancy,

0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:00.200
<v Speaker 1>and so it just might you know, that's why can

0:32:00.240 --> 0:32:03.640
<v Speaker 1>take longer to get pregnant UM. And that's also what

0:32:03.720 --> 0:32:06.800
<v Speaker 1>causes UM miscarriages to go up as you get older,

0:32:06.800 --> 0:32:11.880
<v Speaker 1>because those same mechanical errors lead to UM chromosomal abnormalities.

0:32:11.880 --> 0:32:14.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if you guys had your embryos tested.

0:32:14.680 --> 0:32:18.000
<v Speaker 1>We did, but testing that we had done was a

0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:19.920
<v Speaker 1>couple of years ago. So I know now they test

0:32:19.960 --> 0:32:23.600
<v Speaker 1>twenty one chromosomes. Yes, so we test all we can

0:32:23.600 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 1>test all the chromosomes UM, and the testing the you know,

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:30.400
<v Speaker 1>the technology that we have is you know, it's better

0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:32.440
<v Speaker 1>than it was three years ago, which was better than

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.440
<v Speaker 1>five years ago. It's always refining and getting a little

0:32:35.440 --> 0:32:37.880
<v Speaker 1>bit better UM, and all of that testing is just

0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:41.240
<v Speaker 1>it's really just chromosome counting in your in your mind,

0:32:41.400 --> 0:32:45.440
<v Speaker 1>let's say, in let's say in twenty years, where do

0:32:45.480 --> 0:32:47.800
<v Speaker 1>you think we're going to be out with infertility and

0:32:48.240 --> 0:32:53.040
<v Speaker 1>the progress of where the medicine is going. UM. What

0:32:53.120 --> 0:32:56.240
<v Speaker 1>would be really amazing is a way to kind of

0:32:56.280 --> 0:33:00.360
<v Speaker 1>figure out, um, in a much less invasive way, what

0:33:00.640 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 1>the issues are with the embryo. Like not, I bet

0:33:03.520 --> 0:33:05.160
<v Speaker 1>you we are not going to be doing a biopsy

0:33:05.280 --> 0:33:08.120
<v Speaker 1>in twenty years anymore. In order to test the embryo.

0:33:08.160 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 1>We're going to be able to look at, you know,

0:33:10.200 --> 0:33:12.640
<v Speaker 1>the media that the embryo is growing in, and the

0:33:12.640 --> 0:33:14.760
<v Speaker 1>embryos that are abnormal are going to like spit off

0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:16.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of like toxic things, and we're gonna be able

0:33:16.880 --> 0:33:19.800
<v Speaker 1>to measure those things in the culture media and just

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:21.640
<v Speaker 1>kind of figure out from there. With embryos we can

0:33:21.680 --> 0:33:24.040
<v Speaker 1>put in, we certainly are going to have much better

0:33:24.160 --> 0:33:28.840
<v Speaker 1>capability of kind of testing for things like your predisposition

0:33:28.920 --> 0:33:32.200
<v Speaker 1>for diabetes and other types of diseases like that. I mean,

0:33:32.200 --> 0:33:34.680
<v Speaker 1>I think it's a fine line of like where we

0:33:35.280 --> 0:33:38.840
<v Speaker 1>ethically kind of start intervening too much in terms of

0:33:38.880 --> 0:33:41.600
<v Speaker 1>what we're choosing. UM. Yeah, I think that was always

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:44.000
<v Speaker 1>Mike's problem. He said he didn't he felt like he

0:33:44.080 --> 0:33:46.640
<v Speaker 1>was almost playing god in a way. But yeah, that's

0:33:46.640 --> 0:33:48.400
<v Speaker 1>the one aspect of it. I was kind of like,

0:33:48.720 --> 0:33:50.800
<v Speaker 1>just put you know, put her egg in there with

0:33:51.120 --> 0:33:54.440
<v Speaker 1>sperm and kind of let the best man win almost

0:33:54.480 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 1>kind of thing they didn't do. And I you know,

0:33:56.640 --> 0:33:58.600
<v Speaker 1>the way I was explained to my patients with IBS

0:33:58.720 --> 0:34:01.960
<v Speaker 1>is what's kind of happening in some aspect to anyway,

0:34:02.040 --> 0:34:05.400
<v Speaker 1>Like when they're getting the sperm ready for like right

0:34:05.440 --> 0:34:10.040
<v Speaker 1>before they do the fertilization, they're prepping the sperm and

0:34:10.200 --> 0:34:13.160
<v Speaker 1>like they're only selecting from the very best sperm. So

0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:15.760
<v Speaker 1>it's the kind of same process that would happen normally

0:34:15.800 --> 0:34:18.120
<v Speaker 1>in the body is kind of happening in the lab

0:34:18.200 --> 0:34:21.280
<v Speaker 1>to some extent. And yes, if you're doing that procedure

0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:25.080
<v Speaker 1>called XI again, I don't like, you know, which that

0:34:25.120 --> 0:34:27.200
<v Speaker 1>was hard for him to pick. Yeah, Like they're picking

0:34:27.320 --> 0:34:31.000
<v Speaker 1>one sperm and putting it into the egg, but it's random,

0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:33.000
<v Speaker 1>like they can't. I mean, they're picking from the best,

0:34:33.120 --> 0:34:35.440
<v Speaker 1>which is exactly so in a way, it mimics what's

0:34:35.440 --> 0:34:37.560
<v Speaker 1>going on the body, right, Like you're picking from the

0:34:37.560 --> 0:34:39.200
<v Speaker 1>best because only the best sperm in the body you're

0:34:39.239 --> 0:34:40.839
<v Speaker 1>going to get to the egg. Well, only the best

0:34:40.880 --> 0:34:43.200
<v Speaker 1>sperm are going to get being that final sample in

0:34:43.239 --> 0:34:46.840
<v Speaker 1>the lab. And then it's really random like there's millions

0:34:46.840 --> 0:34:48.440
<v Speaker 1>of sperms that are surrounding that little egg in the

0:34:48.440 --> 0:34:51.440
<v Speaker 1>Floppian tube, and so it's really random which one binds

0:34:51.480 --> 0:34:53.759
<v Speaker 1>to the egg, and it's really random which one the

0:34:53.760 --> 0:34:56.600
<v Speaker 1>embryologist happens to pick to put into the egg. So

0:34:56.680 --> 0:34:59.440
<v Speaker 1>it's kind of both um, you know, all about like

0:34:59.480 --> 0:35:01.400
<v Speaker 1>how good this firms and a little bit of randomness,

0:35:01.480 --> 0:35:05.640
<v Speaker 1>And in those situations it's so fascinating. It's really when

0:35:05.680 --> 0:35:08.360
<v Speaker 1>you really think about the details. I think about that

0:35:08.400 --> 0:35:10.440
<v Speaker 1>every time we do an egro treasle, like I cannot like,

0:35:10.600 --> 0:35:12.480
<v Speaker 1>how is it possible that I can just stick this

0:35:12.560 --> 0:35:14.799
<v Speaker 1>needle into this little fog, I'll drain it and we

0:35:14.880 --> 0:35:17.719
<v Speaker 1>somehow get an egg. It's out of this world. Yeah,

0:35:18.000 --> 0:35:19.880
<v Speaker 1>it truly is a miracle when you go through the process,

0:35:19.880 --> 0:35:21.400
<v Speaker 1>as you know, and that's what Jenna and I have

0:35:21.480 --> 0:35:23.799
<v Speaker 1>told people that that we have some friends that are

0:35:23.800 --> 0:35:25.879
<v Speaker 1>beginning the process right now, and we say the same thing,

0:35:25.880 --> 0:35:27.880
<v Speaker 1>where like, it's truly a miracle when you get down

0:35:27.920 --> 0:35:30.319
<v Speaker 1>to the science of it all. And like Jenna was saying,

0:35:30.320 --> 0:35:31.680
<v Speaker 1>we've got a lot of questions when we're doing a

0:35:31.719 --> 0:35:35.520
<v Speaker 1>lot of podcast and what what do you have? What

0:35:35.640 --> 0:35:37.880
<v Speaker 1>kind of advice do you have for couples or women

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:40.799
<v Speaker 1>that are going through the early stages of IBF, you know,

0:35:40.920 --> 0:35:44.799
<v Speaker 1>just mentally and physically how to prepare themselves. Um, I

0:35:44.840 --> 0:35:48.000
<v Speaker 1>think it's really I think probably the most important thing

0:35:48.200 --> 0:35:51.520
<v Speaker 1>is to try to kind of take care of yourself

0:35:52.080 --> 0:35:54.160
<v Speaker 1>a little bit. It is so easy to get wrapped

0:35:54.239 --> 0:35:59.040
<v Speaker 1>up in the process and it's so emotionally draining. The

0:35:59.080 --> 0:36:02.720
<v Speaker 1>time is too, is the medicines make you crazy? Yeah?

0:36:02.800 --> 0:36:06.160
<v Speaker 1>And yeah that medicines like impact like how you're feeling,

0:36:06.320 --> 0:36:09.759
<v Speaker 1>and so to the extent that you can do anything,

0:36:09.920 --> 0:36:14.840
<v Speaker 1>even if like once a day, to keep yourself centered. Um,

0:36:14.880 --> 0:36:19.480
<v Speaker 1>not like stress about little things like it drives me bananas,

0:36:19.520 --> 0:36:22.319
<v Speaker 1>Like when people are help patients, like, oh, you can't

0:36:22.320 --> 0:36:24.080
<v Speaker 1>have any caffeine and you kind of one step of

0:36:24.080 --> 0:36:27.120
<v Speaker 1>alcohol and you can you have to eat this and

0:36:27.160 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 1>do this, and that leads to this restrictive life that

0:36:30.200 --> 0:36:34.080
<v Speaker 1>is so miserable and causes so much more stress in

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:37.960
<v Speaker 1>an already really stressful process. So, you know, doing things

0:36:38.000 --> 0:36:40.640
<v Speaker 1>that kind of can get you through and knowing that

0:36:40.760 --> 0:36:43.600
<v Speaker 1>like you might need to lean on the people around

0:36:43.640 --> 0:36:46.840
<v Speaker 1>you and reaching out when you need help and finding

0:36:46.920 --> 0:36:49.040
<v Speaker 1>some like knowing that it is because it's going to

0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:52.000
<v Speaker 1>be stressful, like finding that kind of support network, whatever

0:36:52.040 --> 0:36:54.240
<v Speaker 1>it is for you. And maybe that's not a person,

0:36:54.280 --> 0:36:56.440
<v Speaker 1>maybe that's writing in a journal, but something that kind

0:36:56.440 --> 0:36:59.240
<v Speaker 1>of can get you through the process. So I guess

0:37:00.360 --> 0:37:02.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I just it's just so hard because

0:37:02.040 --> 0:37:05.000
<v Speaker 1>I just I feel I mean, sometimes I feel guilty

0:37:05.040 --> 0:37:08.040
<v Speaker 1>because you know, now we have that. People are always

0:37:08.040 --> 0:37:10.359
<v Speaker 1>asked me, you know, how do you stay positive? And

0:37:10.480 --> 0:37:13.440
<v Speaker 1>in the moment, and I say to them, try to

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:15.600
<v Speaker 1>stay positive. But in the moment, I couldn't even stay

0:37:15.640 --> 0:37:17.319
<v Speaker 1>positive because you don't know what the outcome is going

0:37:17.360 --> 0:37:18.480
<v Speaker 1>to be. Now I can look at the outcome and

0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:21.600
<v Speaker 1>be like, oh, now we have two beautiful kids. So

0:37:21.960 --> 0:37:23.840
<v Speaker 1>I guess I know what you're trying to say is

0:37:24.520 --> 0:37:27.359
<v Speaker 1>you're trying to say to stay centered, but it's just

0:37:27.440 --> 0:37:30.480
<v Speaker 1>so hard. When it's really hard. You want that family,

0:37:31.120 --> 0:37:32.680
<v Speaker 1>and then you want to be hopeful, right, Like you

0:37:32.680 --> 0:37:35.759
<v Speaker 1>don't want to be a pessimist going into it, and

0:37:35.840 --> 0:37:38.160
<v Speaker 1>yet at the same time, like being hopeful is so

0:37:38.200 --> 0:37:42.480
<v Speaker 1>scary because it leaves you so vulnerable. Um and you're

0:37:42.520 --> 0:37:45.440
<v Speaker 1>just kind of open to that that fact that it's

0:37:45.480 --> 0:37:46.880
<v Speaker 1>just not going to work. And I think you know,

0:37:46.960 --> 0:37:49.640
<v Speaker 1>depending on how old you are and what the circumstances are,

0:37:49.760 --> 0:37:52.439
<v Speaker 1>sometimes the chance that it's going to work is low.

0:37:52.640 --> 0:37:55.359
<v Speaker 1>And so how do you kind of manage kind of

0:37:55.360 --> 0:37:59.160
<v Speaker 1>going through this entire process without just being like emotionally

0:37:59.160 --> 0:38:01.719
<v Speaker 1>crushed at the end. And I don't really know any

0:38:01.760 --> 0:38:04.279
<v Speaker 1>way to kind of really mitigate that and kind of

0:38:05.400 --> 0:38:08.840
<v Speaker 1>keep that from happening. Yeah, no, no, I mean, no

0:38:08.840 --> 0:38:12.240
<v Speaker 1>one can prepare you for that roller coaster of physically

0:38:12.239 --> 0:38:14.440
<v Speaker 1>and emotionally, and so you go through and know that

0:38:14.440 --> 0:38:17.160
<v Speaker 1>it's a roller and knowing that, I think is that's

0:38:17.200 --> 0:38:19.520
<v Speaker 1>actually huge, is that there are so many ups and

0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:21.920
<v Speaker 1>downs of like, oh, you're so happy because you have

0:38:21.960 --> 0:38:24.120
<v Speaker 1>this many eggs, and like oh, you're devastated the next

0:38:24.200 --> 0:38:26.319
<v Speaker 1>day because the fertilization is poor. And then they call

0:38:26.360 --> 0:38:27.919
<v Speaker 1>you the next day and they say, oh, then roals

0:38:27.920 --> 0:38:32.879
<v Speaker 1>are developing, and then oh abnormal. It's like the ups

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:35.520
<v Speaker 1>and downs and ups and downs. It's really you know,

0:38:35.560 --> 0:38:39.080
<v Speaker 1>it's it's draining. In Janna nice situation. So we actually

0:38:39.120 --> 0:38:44.440
<v Speaker 1>got for both of our children, Janna became pregnant naturally

0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:47.239
<v Speaker 1>for both and it was both times. It was one

0:38:47.320 --> 0:38:51.319
<v Speaker 1>month after it failed IVF cycle. Is that common from

0:38:51.360 --> 0:38:56.040
<v Speaker 1>your experience? Um? It happens all the time. UM. And

0:38:56.120 --> 0:38:57.719
<v Speaker 1>you know, we don't think that it's like it has

0:38:57.719 --> 0:38:59.879
<v Speaker 1>actually anything to do with the I V S because

0:39:00.040 --> 0:39:04.560
<v Speaker 1>like the IBS process doesn't really do anything to kind of,

0:39:04.719 --> 0:39:08.280
<v Speaker 1>um change what's going to happen in the next cycle. Um.

0:39:08.280 --> 0:39:11.000
<v Speaker 1>But we see it all the time. What about medicines

0:39:11.040 --> 0:39:13.960
<v Speaker 1>that I'm taking the progesterone and things in my system

0:39:14.040 --> 0:39:15.640
<v Speaker 1>now because the progesterone is gone, Like why don't you

0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:19.040
<v Speaker 1>stop taking it? It's gone? Um? And that effect doesn't

0:39:19.120 --> 0:39:20.719
<v Speaker 1>kind of carry you over to the next month. But

0:39:20.760 --> 0:39:23.799
<v Speaker 1>I did get pregnant though each time. Yeah. No, I

0:39:23.800 --> 0:39:26.640
<v Speaker 1>mean like with the I VS with the IVF, so

0:39:26.680 --> 0:39:29.480
<v Speaker 1>maybe I had this some hCG in my system and

0:39:29.560 --> 0:39:31.720
<v Speaker 1>they don't even going to start you on your next cycle,

0:39:31.760 --> 0:39:33.319
<v Speaker 1>like you won't get your period into all that. It's

0:39:33.400 --> 0:39:35.319
<v Speaker 1>like kind of all those hormones of like kind of

0:39:35.320 --> 0:39:38.520
<v Speaker 1>washed out of your body with time you get your period. Um.

0:39:38.600 --> 0:39:40.880
<v Speaker 1>I was I mean it's probably yes. Is it common

0:39:40.960 --> 0:39:43.840
<v Speaker 1>that like it would happen so closely to both IVF

0:39:43.920 --> 0:39:47.120
<v Speaker 1>cycles And the answer is obviously no. Um, But we

0:39:47.200 --> 0:39:49.560
<v Speaker 1>see it all the time. I mean it literally just

0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:55.359
<v Speaker 1>takes one good egg, one good sperm, you know. Interesting. Yeah,

0:39:55.600 --> 0:39:58.279
<v Speaker 1>all right, well, um, so we're going to have our

0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:00.960
<v Speaker 1>listeners right in, so you guys right in Janna Kramer

0:40:00.960 --> 0:40:03.880
<v Speaker 1>at I heart media dot com and then Dr Kristen

0:40:04.200 --> 0:40:07.200
<v Speaker 1>bend Dixon. Um, you're going to answer the question. So

0:40:07.440 --> 0:40:10.160
<v Speaker 1>we're excited to have you back on and we just really, um,

0:40:10.200 --> 0:40:12.280
<v Speaker 1>we hope that you guys email in again Jana Kramer

0:40:12.320 --> 0:40:14.880
<v Speaker 1>at I heart media dot com and she will answer

0:40:14.880 --> 0:40:18.480
<v Speaker 1>your IVF questions. Yeah, no, I think it's it's so important.

0:40:18.480 --> 0:40:21.440
<v Speaker 1>It's there are so many women that struggle with infertility

0:40:21.560 --> 0:40:23.960
<v Speaker 1>and um to the extent that we can make the

0:40:24.000 --> 0:40:27.719
<v Speaker 1>process more transparent so they just kind of understand what

0:40:27.800 --> 0:40:31.960
<v Speaker 1>fertility treatments are all about, um, you know, understanding miscarriages

0:40:31.960 --> 0:40:35.000
<v Speaker 1>where such are which is such a like not spoken

0:40:35.160 --> 0:40:38.560
<v Speaker 1>about subject and kind of and also egg freezing, you know,

0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:41.040
<v Speaker 1>in terms of just what we can do to prevent

0:40:41.040 --> 0:40:44.239
<v Speaker 1>people from having to go through IVF later. Yeah, there's

0:40:44.239 --> 0:40:46.759
<v Speaker 1>a lot to dig in there. Absolutely. Well, thank you

0:40:46.800 --> 0:40:50.120
<v Speaker 1>so much, and we'll be talking with you soon. All right,

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:55.560
<v Speaker 1>all right bye. You know what is sad actually the

0:40:55.560 --> 0:40:59.320
<v Speaker 1>other Um, the other night, I started, you know, scrolling

0:40:59.320 --> 0:41:01.400
<v Speaker 1>on my phone and I saw I was looking through

0:41:01.440 --> 0:41:02.919
<v Speaker 1>my video. It was just kind of clearing some videos

0:41:02.920 --> 0:41:04.759
<v Speaker 1>out of my phone, and I saw the video of

0:41:05.280 --> 0:41:08.680
<v Speaker 1>remember how we tracked the IVF process, and then I

0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:12.040
<v Speaker 1>put it on YouTube. By the way, that yawn face

0:41:12.120 --> 0:41:16.400
<v Speaker 1>wasn't nasty. Um you know where he's like trying not

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:19.680
<v Speaker 1>to yawn, so he was making a weird face that

0:41:19.800 --> 0:41:24.600
<v Speaker 1>just happened. Um. But I I was just watching the

0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:26.480
<v Speaker 1>video and it just it pained me because I was

0:41:26.600 --> 0:41:29.120
<v Speaker 1>crying and I found out that we lost lost the

0:41:29.600 --> 0:41:31.960
<v Speaker 1>baby or the embryo, I guess because it was only

0:41:32.000 --> 0:41:33.440
<v Speaker 1>I was only a few weeks at that time. But

0:41:34.160 --> 0:41:35.480
<v Speaker 1>and then now I look at it, it's like, man,

0:41:35.520 --> 0:41:37.640
<v Speaker 1>I wish, I wish I could go back and say

0:41:37.719 --> 0:41:40.480
<v Speaker 1>it's gonna be okay, You're gonna have a baby in

0:41:40.480 --> 0:41:43.360
<v Speaker 1>in a year and a half. Right, it all sounds

0:41:43.840 --> 0:41:47.200
<v Speaker 1>the fact. And I just I for the women out

0:41:47.200 --> 0:41:49.320
<v Speaker 1>there that are struggling, I have a lot of empathy

0:41:49.360 --> 0:41:52.600
<v Speaker 1>for you, but hopefully you can see the silver lining

0:41:52.640 --> 0:41:56.040
<v Speaker 1>with other people's stories. And I think that's exactly what

0:41:56.440 --> 0:42:00.239
<v Speaker 1>just being the spouse in this situation and wouldn't seen

0:42:00.280 --> 0:42:04.440
<v Speaker 1>you go through it is the people around the female

0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:06.640
<v Speaker 1>going through this process. Is all you can do is

0:42:06.640 --> 0:42:10.560
<v Speaker 1>be empathetic. Don't try to say make any promises, don't

0:42:10.560 --> 0:42:14.359
<v Speaker 1>try to say it's gonna be okay even just say

0:42:14.520 --> 0:42:17.360
<v Speaker 1>that sucks and just allow you to feel those feelings,

0:42:17.360 --> 0:42:18.960
<v Speaker 1>because there's nothing that like I could say as a

0:42:19.040 --> 0:42:20.920
<v Speaker 1>husband and make you feel better. Well, I feel like

0:42:20.920 --> 0:42:22.960
<v Speaker 1>you should say more than that sucks. No, but I'm

0:42:22.960 --> 0:42:26.279
<v Speaker 1>saying just feel that. You know what I mean. No,

0:42:26.400 --> 0:42:28.759
<v Speaker 1>I would say it hurts me too because I know

0:42:28.960 --> 0:42:34.080
<v Speaker 1>we I want this family, So that sucks. Wife was

0:42:34.120 --> 0:42:37.279
<v Speaker 1>like crying in the bathroom. All right, Well, anyway on

0:42:37.320 --> 0:42:39.879
<v Speaker 1>the earth the rest of our day. I don't mean

0:42:39.920 --> 0:42:45.399
<v Speaker 1>like that not dismissive. Do you want to read try that? No,

0:42:45.520 --> 0:42:50.680
<v Speaker 1>because I'm imperfect. I love that. Then. So there's usually

0:42:50.719 --> 0:42:54.920
<v Speaker 1>a clear path for Valentine's Day gifts for women flowers, candy, jewelry,

0:42:55.000 --> 0:42:57.319
<v Speaker 1>but for men not usually as simple. Oh do I

0:42:57.320 --> 0:43:00.239
<v Speaker 1>get all those things? It's candy? You know what's onny

0:43:00.239 --> 0:43:02.160
<v Speaker 1>with this? I love man creates so much that I

0:43:02.160 --> 0:43:04.960
<v Speaker 1>actually think it's a clear cut gift from men this

0:43:05.040 --> 0:43:08.160
<v Speaker 1>holiday season for Valentine's Day women is actually harder because

0:43:08.160 --> 0:43:14.919
<v Speaker 1>women might not want the same thing again. Flowers, cards, diamonds, diamonds, Yeah,

0:43:14.960 --> 0:43:18.840
<v Speaker 1>that should just say diamonds, diamonds, diamonds and maybe some flowers.

0:43:19.000 --> 0:43:21.600
<v Speaker 1>Man Creates knows what guys like and they have hundreds

0:43:21.600 --> 0:43:24.200
<v Speaker 1>of gifts options, so you'll find the perfect surprise for

0:43:24.320 --> 0:43:25.920
<v Speaker 1>him and take it from me. There are over a

0:43:26.000 --> 0:43:29.360
<v Speaker 1>hundred different kinds of Man Creates. I have multiple, It's amazing.

0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:32.200
<v Speaker 1>I just ordered the make your own chef knife let

0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:34.239
<v Speaker 1>being in the kitchen and I can't wait for it

0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:38.440
<v Speaker 1>to come. Unique gifts like the personalized barware crate, personalized

0:43:38.440 --> 0:43:41.040
<v Speaker 1>pint glasses, bottle opener, and the pizza grilling crate with

0:43:41.080 --> 0:43:43.680
<v Speaker 1>some pizza stones and two sided dough roller is just

0:43:43.800 --> 0:43:45.920
<v Speaker 1>one a few examples of the crates that they have

0:43:46.000 --> 0:43:49.040
<v Speaker 1>out there given. Unforgotabout Valentine's Day gift this year. Plus

0:43:49.080 --> 0:43:55.040
<v Speaker 1>every man Kate comes. Every Man Create comes with a

0:43:55.960 --> 0:43:59.520
<v Speaker 1>satisfaction guaranteed, and they're about in a thousand with me too,

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:02.200
<v Speaker 1>so I agree with that. Give him a Man Create

0:44:02.239 --> 0:44:04.839
<v Speaker 1>plus one of their Meatia Valentine's Day gifts and save

0:44:05.080 --> 0:44:07.920
<v Speaker 1>just a Valentine's Day. Get fourteen percent off when you

0:44:07.960 --> 0:44:11.960
<v Speaker 1>spend one or more. At Man creates dot com slash wine.

0:44:12.200 --> 0:44:14.759
<v Speaker 1>That's fourteen percent off when you spend one or more.

0:44:14.760 --> 0:44:17.600
<v Speaker 1>At Man creates dot com slash wine. Man Man creates

0:44:17.680 --> 0:44:20.320
<v Speaker 1>dot com slash one. That's w h I n A.

0:44:20.480 --> 0:44:24.040
<v Speaker 1>We should point out thanks Mark. All right, so we're

0:44:24.040 --> 0:44:26.480
<v Speaker 1>can talk about the argument. We can talk about the argument.

0:44:26.600 --> 0:44:28.799
<v Speaker 1>By the way, Jenna still has not relieved yourself. Yeah,

0:44:28.840 --> 0:44:30.480
<v Speaker 1>I still have to pee. Do you want to go?

0:44:31.960 --> 0:44:38.520
<v Speaker 1>Kind of, but let's just get this over with. So okay.

0:44:39.000 --> 0:44:44.360
<v Speaker 1>So the other night Michael and I something happened and

0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:48.080
<v Speaker 1>it was a beauty It was beautiful, but I got

0:44:48.200 --> 0:44:53.319
<v Speaker 1>very triggered afterwards, and I wanted to say something to

0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:56.839
<v Speaker 1>him and express because you know, our therapist say if

0:44:56.880 --> 0:45:01.040
<v Speaker 1>you're feeling something, expressed in a way like, hey, I'm

0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:02.680
<v Speaker 1>I just felt trigger and I want you to know

0:45:02.719 --> 0:45:04.839
<v Speaker 1>so that I don't take it outsideways on him. But

0:45:05.719 --> 0:45:08.480
<v Speaker 1>I didn't say anything because the moment was so great

0:45:08.560 --> 0:45:11.279
<v Speaker 1>that I didn't want to ruin it. So I didn't

0:45:11.320 --> 0:45:13.879
<v Speaker 1>say anything. And in the back of my mind, I

0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:15.640
<v Speaker 1>was hoping that he was going to come to me

0:45:16.080 --> 0:45:19.480
<v Speaker 1>and acknowledge because I was hoping that he was feeling

0:45:19.480 --> 0:45:23.120
<v Speaker 1>the same trigger because the situation we both know was

0:45:23.400 --> 0:45:27.240
<v Speaker 1>it was a major trigger and it was going to Yeah,

0:45:27.400 --> 0:45:28.920
<v Speaker 1>it was. It was one of the few, if not

0:45:29.000 --> 0:45:34.400
<v Speaker 1>the last, kind of major trigger that we haven't addressed

0:45:35.360 --> 0:45:41.440
<v Speaker 1>or experienced to this point. So and it became the

0:45:41.440 --> 0:45:44.440
<v Speaker 1>biggest elephant in the room in that moment. Yeah, So

0:45:44.520 --> 0:45:48.839
<v Speaker 1>we went to bed on Yeah, we went to bed.

0:45:48.880 --> 0:45:52.080
<v Speaker 1>We went to bed, but without us really talking about

0:45:52.120 --> 0:45:55.600
<v Speaker 1>the elephant in the room. And I thought about it

0:45:55.600 --> 0:45:57.959
<v Speaker 1>all night long. I was really upset. I cried about it.

0:45:58.239 --> 0:46:00.000
<v Speaker 1>I was I mean, I didn't sleep at all because

0:46:00.000 --> 0:46:03.600
<v Speaker 1>I was so upset, and I I was going to

0:46:03.680 --> 0:46:05.480
<v Speaker 1>say something, but then I was just, you know, thought

0:46:05.520 --> 0:46:07.239
<v Speaker 1>to myself, Okay, the next morning, it's probably just going

0:46:07.280 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 1>to pass. Well. And the next morning it did not pass.

0:46:09.640 --> 0:46:11.920
<v Speaker 1>And so Michael's trying to talk to me on Saturday,

0:46:12.239 --> 0:46:14.799
<v Speaker 1>and I just I stayed pretty mute, and I said,

0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:16.560
<v Speaker 1>just I'm really not ready to talk right now. I

0:46:16.680 --> 0:46:19.239
<v Speaker 1>just need some time. It's basically what I said right

0:46:20.680 --> 0:46:24.560
<v Speaker 1>before we brought up the situation. Yeah. Remember, because I

0:46:24.560 --> 0:46:27.120
<v Speaker 1>I took like half a day in the morning, I

0:46:27.160 --> 0:46:29.719
<v Speaker 1>was like, I knew something was going on with you. Yeah,

0:46:29.760 --> 0:46:32.880
<v Speaker 1>you weren't ready to say what it was. And so

0:46:33.000 --> 0:46:37.640
<v Speaker 1>then we I finally brought it to you and I

0:46:37.760 --> 0:46:41.080
<v Speaker 1>were sitting down in the couch. You were reluctant at first.

0:46:41.120 --> 0:46:42.960
<v Speaker 1>I was reluctant at first because I was afraid of

0:46:43.000 --> 0:46:47.840
<v Speaker 1>your reaction, and I got validated in my fear of

0:46:47.920 --> 0:46:50.120
<v Speaker 1>his reaction. So I sat down and I was telling

0:46:50.200 --> 0:46:53.759
<v Speaker 1>him how it how that night made me feel, and

0:46:53.800 --> 0:46:56.480
<v Speaker 1>how I got triggered and these are the things that

0:46:56.560 --> 0:47:00.160
<v Speaker 1>came up for me, and you did not listen to me.

0:47:00.480 --> 0:47:05.200
<v Speaker 1>You went straight into your shame, and basically it validated

0:47:05.239 --> 0:47:08.400
<v Speaker 1>and for me, I have the hardest time, and we

0:47:08.560 --> 0:47:10.719
<v Speaker 1>just talked about in therapy. I have the hardest time

0:47:10.760 --> 0:47:14.640
<v Speaker 1>bringing up a fear of something because I don't want

0:47:14.760 --> 0:47:18.160
<v Speaker 1>him I don't want his reaction to be off. So

0:47:18.239 --> 0:47:21.680
<v Speaker 1>the fact that you validated my fear, which I know

0:47:21.719 --> 0:47:23.840
<v Speaker 1>I've done to you two plenty of times, and it sucks,

0:47:24.719 --> 0:47:28.239
<v Speaker 1>but that when that happened, I just completely I mean

0:47:28.280 --> 0:47:31.000
<v Speaker 1>we we. I was so upset. I went into the bathroom.

0:47:31.080 --> 0:47:33.279
<v Speaker 1>You started to get me and I started crying. So

0:47:33.320 --> 0:47:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I went into the bathroom and was crying, and then

0:47:35.040 --> 0:47:39.600
<v Speaker 1>you come in, guns blazing, and it just escalated from there,

0:47:39.600 --> 0:47:42.320
<v Speaker 1>which then you triggered more stuff because now you're elevated

0:47:42.360 --> 0:47:44.920
<v Speaker 1>to a screaming point. And then once then I got

0:47:45.000 --> 0:47:49.480
<v Speaker 1>offline after that because you had already and I was like, man,

0:47:49.640 --> 0:47:51.960
<v Speaker 1>I did what I was supposed to do. I told

0:47:51.960 --> 0:47:57.000
<v Speaker 1>you what I was feeling, and then you didn't hear me. Michael,

0:47:58.880 --> 0:48:00.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to make sure that you feel heard right now,

0:48:00.680 --> 0:48:05.120
<v Speaker 1>and I don't just go on and defensive. Yes, you're right.

0:48:05.200 --> 0:48:10.240
<v Speaker 1>I did not handle it correctly, and ultimately I apologized

0:48:10.320 --> 0:48:15.279
<v Speaker 1>profusely for not addressing the elephant in the room in

0:48:15.360 --> 0:48:17.879
<v Speaker 1>real time, which I wanted to. And what it came

0:48:17.920 --> 0:48:19.880
<v Speaker 1>down to was I didn't have the balls in that

0:48:19.920 --> 0:48:24.560
<v Speaker 1>moment because I knew such it was such an impactful trigger.

0:48:25.440 --> 0:48:29.160
<v Speaker 1>I was scared. I was scared to do it. And

0:48:29.440 --> 0:48:32.440
<v Speaker 1>because we've been on such a good run, everything's you know,

0:48:32.600 --> 0:48:37.000
<v Speaker 1>been so great, we've handled things appropriately, so for this situation,

0:48:37.120 --> 0:48:40.440
<v Speaker 1>I was just kind of reverted back to, kind of

0:48:40.480 --> 0:48:43.160
<v Speaker 1>subconsciously of maybe if I don't address it, we won't

0:48:43.160 --> 0:48:44.920
<v Speaker 1>talk about it and everything will be okay, and sweeping

0:48:45.000 --> 0:48:49.200
<v Speaker 1>under the rug, which never worked for us, and most

0:48:49.239 --> 0:48:51.600
<v Speaker 1>couples it doesn't sum it does, but not for us.

0:48:52.760 --> 0:48:56.880
<v Speaker 1>So even when I was trying to convince you to

0:48:56.880 --> 0:48:59.120
<v Speaker 1>talk to me about it and reassuring you that I

0:48:59.200 --> 0:49:02.320
<v Speaker 1>was in the place, even I didn't know how it

0:49:02.400 --> 0:49:04.959
<v Speaker 1>was going to react. In my mind, I was like, Okay,

0:49:05.000 --> 0:49:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I can handle this. I can. I can listen to her.

0:49:08.360 --> 0:49:11.839
<v Speaker 1>But then for me, any time I get any opposition

0:49:12.760 --> 0:49:16.640
<v Speaker 1>when I start to speak about it, or speak about

0:49:16.640 --> 0:49:22.760
<v Speaker 1>anything that's shameful or triggering or traumatizing for me. If

0:49:23.840 --> 0:49:26.319
<v Speaker 1>I think by trying to hear you, I didn't feel heard,

0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:28.560
<v Speaker 1>But that was my mistake. I was trying to feel

0:49:28.560 --> 0:49:30.719
<v Speaker 1>heard when you were trying to feel heard, which that's

0:49:30.719 --> 0:49:33.320
<v Speaker 1>not how it works. I have to hear you first.

0:49:33.360 --> 0:49:36.120
<v Speaker 1>I have to validate your feelings. I have to especially

0:49:36.200 --> 0:49:40.160
<v Speaker 1>as the perpetrator, I have to empathize with you so

0:49:40.280 --> 0:49:46.480
<v Speaker 1>you can feel heard, understood, et cetera. But we've had

0:49:46.520 --> 0:49:52.040
<v Speaker 1>this discussion argument many times where I rushed that and

0:49:52.120 --> 0:49:55.120
<v Speaker 1>I try to feel heard immediately, or I tried to

0:49:55.200 --> 0:50:00.680
<v Speaker 1>explain something. I tried. Yeah, it was me trying to

0:50:00.680 --> 0:50:03.080
<v Speaker 1>explain something. And then any time you would ask ask

0:50:03.160 --> 0:50:07.560
<v Speaker 1>a question. It would trigger me because I'm just trying

0:50:07.600 --> 0:50:10.560
<v Speaker 1>to explain to you about the situation, talk about the trigger,

0:50:10.600 --> 0:50:13.839
<v Speaker 1>and then you'd ask a question about it, and then

0:50:14.320 --> 0:50:17.239
<v Speaker 1>I'll feel like, yeah, I didn't feel heard. I felt

0:50:17.239 --> 0:50:19.080
<v Speaker 1>like you weren't listening to me. I'll see you own

0:50:19.120 --> 0:50:23.680
<v Speaker 1>attacked and then feeling attacked about a shameful situation. Just

0:50:24.080 --> 0:50:27.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean, throw me in a pile of shame. So

0:50:27.120 --> 0:50:28.719
<v Speaker 1>I think it's a good topic to talk about the

0:50:28.920 --> 0:50:31.560
<v Speaker 1>fact that we were both there was the elephant in

0:50:31.560 --> 0:50:33.480
<v Speaker 1>the romans why we couldn't. I mean, I know why

0:50:33.520 --> 0:50:35.239
<v Speaker 1>I didn't. I know why you didn't. But at the

0:50:35.320 --> 0:50:38.120
<v Speaker 1>same time, it's like I wanted you to step up

0:50:39.200 --> 0:50:41.759
<v Speaker 1>and and say, hey, I'm sorry that this triggered you,

0:50:41.800 --> 0:50:43.440
<v Speaker 1>and I know you're probably thinking about it, because of

0:50:43.440 --> 0:50:45.480
<v Speaker 1>course I'm thinking about And that's what I want the

0:50:45.520 --> 0:50:48.720
<v Speaker 1>guys to hear too, if their wives let their girlfriends,

0:50:48.760 --> 0:50:51.399
<v Speaker 1>let them listen to this is the fact that we're

0:50:51.440 --> 0:50:54.680
<v Speaker 1>We don't never forget, so it's always it's always in

0:50:54.719 --> 0:50:56.760
<v Speaker 1>the back of our of our minds. So if something

0:50:58.360 --> 0:51:01.440
<v Speaker 1>from an old argument or whatever happened that it was

0:51:01.480 --> 0:51:04.120
<v Speaker 1>a break in your relationship, I promise you if that

0:51:04.280 --> 0:51:06.560
<v Speaker 1>situation might come up again, that they're thinking of it,

0:51:06.640 --> 0:51:08.640
<v Speaker 1>so you should address it and say, hey, I'm sorry

0:51:08.640 --> 0:51:10.759
<v Speaker 1>if this maybe causes you some pain. Yeah, And it's

0:51:10.840 --> 0:51:14.320
<v Speaker 1>just taking responsibility for your actions right in which you

0:51:14.360 --> 0:51:17.280
<v Speaker 1>should do in all aspects of life, and that's living

0:51:17.320 --> 0:51:21.799
<v Speaker 1>with integrity. And in that moment, I didn't because I

0:51:21.920 --> 0:51:25.600
<v Speaker 1>just wanted to run run away from those feelings. I

0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:27.960
<v Speaker 1>mean I could have also said something as well, but

0:51:28.000 --> 0:51:32.120
<v Speaker 1>I was just so. But even even with my therapist,

0:51:32.239 --> 0:51:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I discussed it with him and I defended you were

0:51:35.120 --> 0:51:39.920
<v Speaker 1>vouched for you and said, I acknowledge that in this situation,

0:51:40.000 --> 0:51:42.359
<v Speaker 1>it was a hundred percent up to me to bring

0:51:42.400 --> 0:51:47.640
<v Speaker 1>it up because it was an undiscussed, unprocessed trigger that

0:51:47.719 --> 0:51:50.920
<v Speaker 1>we have not gone through. So because even he said,

0:51:51.440 --> 0:51:53.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, well, you know, she can equally bring it

0:51:53.440 --> 0:51:56.160
<v Speaker 1>up and express her I was like, in this situation,

0:51:56.880 --> 0:52:00.279
<v Speaker 1>which you do, But this, this particular situation was up

0:52:00.280 --> 0:52:03.600
<v Speaker 1>to me, and I put that on my shoulders and

0:52:03.640 --> 0:52:05.400
<v Speaker 1>it just it just was handled poorly and that but

0:52:05.440 --> 0:52:07.640
<v Speaker 1>that just goes to show like we don't even though

0:52:07.680 --> 0:52:10.640
<v Speaker 1>we talk about all this stuff on on the show,

0:52:11.239 --> 0:52:13.319
<v Speaker 1>we still go through the show. Yeah, and we do

0:52:13.360 --> 0:52:16.640
<v Speaker 1>not do it perfectly, which is why, Um, you were

0:52:16.760 --> 0:52:20.279
<v Speaker 1>very mean, so I really mean, but we rebounded faster

0:52:20.320 --> 0:52:24.200
<v Speaker 1>than we should do. So the moral of the story is, um,

0:52:24.320 --> 0:52:26.759
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how to talk, apparently, because when Mike's

0:52:26.800 --> 0:52:28.960
<v Speaker 1>mad at me, he mocks me. And that was our

0:52:28.960 --> 0:52:31.360
<v Speaker 1>big fight and we got triggered and there was a

0:52:31.360 --> 0:52:37.360
<v Speaker 1>few things that were thrown, a few punches. No, I'm kidding,

0:52:37.480 --> 0:52:40.040
<v Speaker 1>but I did, Like I mean, my I scream so loud,

0:52:40.120 --> 0:52:42.640
<v Speaker 1>my voice hurt, like it got real rudneck in our

0:52:42.719 --> 0:52:45.239
<v Speaker 1>hus like my voice I had. I didn't have a

0:52:45.320 --> 0:52:51.840
<v Speaker 1>voice days honey, we still got it like but but honestly,

0:52:51.840 --> 0:52:53.880
<v Speaker 1>it made me the next day, I was super depressed

0:52:53.960 --> 0:52:56.800
<v Speaker 1>because it made me so sad that we went back there. Yeah,

0:52:56.840 --> 0:52:59.960
<v Speaker 1>I agree, I totally agree it was. It was really sad.

0:53:00.000 --> 0:53:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I was very disappointed in both of us that we

0:53:02.640 --> 0:53:08.640
<v Speaker 1>allow there we go. But no, just in this situation,

0:53:09.640 --> 0:53:13.560
<v Speaker 1>handling things, especially triggers real time is the that's the

0:53:13.560 --> 0:53:16.319
<v Speaker 1>take away. That's that's what you gotta do when there's

0:53:16.400 --> 0:53:19.200
<v Speaker 1>when there's stuff like that, there's your less listen less,

0:53:19.360 --> 0:53:22.560
<v Speaker 1>there's your shoot. This is this episode. Just be titled

0:53:22.600 --> 0:53:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Janna really can't talk. So there's your lesson listeners, all right,

0:53:26.760 --> 0:53:30.560
<v Speaker 1>So I'm sure your full bladder is not helping, so

0:53:30.600 --> 0:53:38.080
<v Speaker 1>we don't get to know the actual instigating moment um. Basically, Mark,

0:53:38.120 --> 0:53:41.480
<v Speaker 1>you're such a producer. You're just such a producer. I

0:53:41.480 --> 0:53:44.480
<v Speaker 1>can see that the US Weekly headlines. Now, I just

0:53:44.520 --> 0:53:47.040
<v Speaker 1>feel like all the listeners are very curious, and of

0:53:47.080 --> 0:53:48.759
<v Speaker 1>course it's your life and it's up to you, but

0:53:48.840 --> 0:53:50.960
<v Speaker 1>I know that's what they're thinking. I don't even know

0:53:51.000 --> 0:53:53.120
<v Speaker 1>how to say in a way to scoot around it.

0:53:56.040 --> 0:53:59.960
<v Speaker 1>There was a sexual something sexual that Mike had done

0:54:00.040 --> 0:54:04.480
<v Speaker 1>actually with someone else. Oh wow, that we never really

0:54:04.520 --> 0:54:09.319
<v Speaker 1>discussed and we something happened and then that yeah, so yeah,

0:54:09.719 --> 0:54:11.120
<v Speaker 1>so it was very hard. It was hard. It was

0:54:11.160 --> 0:54:15.160
<v Speaker 1>a tough It was a tough pill to swallow. And

0:54:15.239 --> 0:54:18.920
<v Speaker 1>so it was a flashback to that memory of knowing

0:54:19.320 --> 0:54:22.160
<v Speaker 1>that they did something like that. So it was it

0:54:22.239 --> 0:54:27.120
<v Speaker 1>was tough. Wow, thanks for asking, Mark, what's going into

0:54:27.120 --> 0:54:29.960
<v Speaker 1>a spot? Well, I have an email which probably isn't

0:54:29.960 --> 0:54:33.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna help things, to be honest, as I prereate it.

0:54:33.840 --> 0:54:37.400
<v Speaker 1>It's an anonymous email. My husband unfortunately had an affair

0:54:37.520 --> 0:54:40.160
<v Speaker 1>and we are three months post me finding out. When

0:54:40.200 --> 0:54:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I found out, it took off my wedding ring, it

0:54:41.920 --> 0:54:43.840
<v Speaker 1>took it out all of the wedding pictures. As we

0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:46.759
<v Speaker 1>are in marriage counseling, we've decided to move forward, but

0:54:46.800 --> 0:54:49.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm struggling putting my wedding rings back on and putting

0:54:49.880 --> 0:54:52.000
<v Speaker 1>out wedding pictures back up. I feel like both are

0:54:52.040 --> 0:54:54.880
<v Speaker 1>tainted at this point. How did you overcome the feelings

0:54:54.880 --> 0:54:57.000
<v Speaker 1>associated with those and be able to put the rings

0:54:57.040 --> 0:55:00.600
<v Speaker 1>back on and the pictures back up? So we have

0:55:00.680 --> 0:55:04.200
<v Speaker 1>not officially put the pictures back up. It has been

0:55:05.200 --> 0:55:12.560
<v Speaker 1>how many years post coming on five years? Four years? No, no, baby,

0:55:12.840 --> 0:55:16.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying at the infidelity and a half. So it's

0:55:16.920 --> 0:55:19.800
<v Speaker 1>been two and a half years post discovery and we

0:55:19.920 --> 0:55:24.640
<v Speaker 1>have still not hung our wedding photos up. There are

0:55:24.760 --> 0:55:30.000
<v Speaker 1>still photos that I have hard time looking at from

0:55:30.040 --> 0:55:33.600
<v Speaker 1>our past because it triggers me to what was going

0:55:33.640 --> 0:55:37.040
<v Speaker 1>on in that moment. Having said all that, when we

0:55:37.120 --> 0:55:40.560
<v Speaker 1>packed up our stuff in Nashville, I saw the bin

0:55:40.800 --> 0:55:43.200
<v Speaker 1>that I threw all of the pictures in, all of

0:55:43.239 --> 0:55:48.520
<v Speaker 1>our wedding photos, all the knickknacks that were for us,

0:55:48.680 --> 0:55:51.520
<v Speaker 1>our wedding book, um, photos of when I was pregnant.

0:55:51.600 --> 0:55:53.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, just so many things that I said, I

0:55:53.400 --> 0:55:55.440
<v Speaker 1>will never be able to look again, look at again.

0:55:55.920 --> 0:55:58.760
<v Speaker 1>You stole all those memories for me, and I yelled

0:55:58.760 --> 0:56:01.040
<v Speaker 1>at him so much for that, said, you took away

0:56:01.040 --> 0:56:02.600
<v Speaker 1>this from me, you took away that, And now I

0:56:02.600 --> 0:56:05.440
<v Speaker 1>can't look back at this photo and be happy. But

0:56:06.680 --> 0:56:11.080
<v Speaker 1>it is. It took two years to really now be

0:56:11.160 --> 0:56:13.320
<v Speaker 1>able to go back and look at it and say, Okay,

0:56:13.400 --> 0:56:17.799
<v Speaker 1>those memories were still my memories. I still was there

0:56:17.920 --> 0:56:21.719
<v Speaker 1>and I was present, not saying you weren't present, but

0:56:21.760 --> 0:56:24.000
<v Speaker 1>it was a different version of present. I'm how do

0:56:24.040 --> 0:56:26.480
<v Speaker 1>I say that? It's it's not that you weren't present,

0:56:26.560 --> 0:56:30.840
<v Speaker 1>you weren't fully there, But it doesn't mean that you

0:56:30.880 --> 0:56:33.880
<v Speaker 1>can take away those memories from me. So I shouldn't

0:56:33.880 --> 0:56:35.640
<v Speaker 1>allow you to take those memories away from me. So

0:56:35.680 --> 0:56:40.040
<v Speaker 1>for the listener that wrote, don't let him have hold

0:56:40.080 --> 0:56:45.279
<v Speaker 1>that much power over those memories for you. But it

0:56:45.280 --> 0:56:49.160
<v Speaker 1>takes time. Again, I am, I want to I don't

0:56:49.160 --> 0:56:50.160
<v Speaker 1>you know. I don't even know if I want to

0:56:50.200 --> 0:56:53.439
<v Speaker 1>hang our wedding photos in our new house. I don't know. Yeah,

0:56:53.520 --> 0:56:56.600
<v Speaker 1>that's something. So for her, it's been three months, you said, Mark,

0:56:57.480 --> 0:57:00.120
<v Speaker 1>which is and I'm on two and a half. I

0:57:00.120 --> 0:57:01.960
<v Speaker 1>still don't even know if our new house will even

0:57:01.960 --> 0:57:05.719
<v Speaker 1>put that up there, because in all honesty, like we've

0:57:05.760 --> 0:57:09.440
<v Speaker 1>had some photos from like you know, the the pregnancy

0:57:09.440 --> 0:57:11.759
<v Speaker 1>shoot and all that that I love, like the big

0:57:11.800 --> 0:57:14.839
<v Speaker 1>canvas when you had of us bone up for me,

0:57:14.920 --> 0:57:19.800
<v Speaker 1>I'd rather have those two. And we put up our

0:57:19.920 --> 0:57:21.520
<v Speaker 1>when we renewed. So this here's what I will say

0:57:21.560 --> 0:57:24.080
<v Speaker 1>for the photos too. We renewed our vows in Hawaii,

0:57:24.360 --> 0:57:27.000
<v Speaker 1>so we have that photo up. So it's putting the

0:57:27.000 --> 0:57:30.200
<v Speaker 1>photos up that are new and real, and in time

0:57:30.800 --> 0:57:33.480
<v Speaker 1>I hope we can hang one of our old photos

0:57:33.520 --> 0:57:35.640
<v Speaker 1>and say, you know what, look how far we've come,

0:57:35.720 --> 0:57:37.560
<v Speaker 1>and you can still be proud of the photo that's there.

0:57:37.680 --> 0:57:41.480
<v Speaker 1>And honestly makes me sad just because I loved our

0:57:41.760 --> 0:57:45.320
<v Speaker 1>wedding photos were beautiful. They're beautiful, it was perfect, and

0:57:45.480 --> 0:57:48.640
<v Speaker 1>it makes me sad too to think about having to

0:57:48.720 --> 0:57:52.560
<v Speaker 1>be hesitant and reluctant to even look at those photos

0:57:51.960 --> 0:57:55.800
<v Speaker 1>and essentially tainted. Yeah, and I think once we are

0:57:55.840 --> 0:57:59.720
<v Speaker 1>to that place where we can both have that mentality

0:57:59.720 --> 0:58:02.920
<v Speaker 1>and look at them and not think about where we

0:58:02.920 --> 0:58:06.040
<v Speaker 1>were then, but appreciate where we are now. Then when

0:58:06.040 --> 0:58:08.160
<v Speaker 1>we're to that point, maybe we can put them up.

0:58:08.520 --> 0:58:10.600
<v Speaker 1>And I think too, we did something that might help

0:58:10.640 --> 0:58:12.560
<v Speaker 1>you guys as well as we grieved. There was a

0:58:12.600 --> 0:58:15.400
<v Speaker 1>box of photos and I said, oh no, no, it

0:58:15.480 --> 0:58:19.680
<v Speaker 1>was the I made you a year is our year

0:58:19.760 --> 0:58:22.120
<v Speaker 1>anniversary gift. I gave him a year anniversary gift of

0:58:22.160 --> 0:58:23.480
<v Speaker 1>all the photos of the year and at the very

0:58:23.560 --> 0:58:24.880
<v Speaker 1>end and I said, I can't wait to see what

0:58:24.960 --> 0:58:27.160
<v Speaker 1>next year holds. And I was like, well, and I

0:58:27.240 --> 0:58:30.280
<v Speaker 1>came to you and when we're moving out of our

0:58:30.920 --> 0:58:34.000
<v Speaker 1>former national house, and we sat down and we looked

0:58:34.040 --> 0:58:36.040
<v Speaker 1>through it all and we grieved. Yeah, and I'm we

0:58:36.120 --> 0:58:37.280
<v Speaker 1>might have to do you might have to do that

0:58:37.280 --> 0:58:38.880
<v Speaker 1>with the wedding photos. We might have to do that again.

0:58:38.880 --> 0:58:40.520
<v Speaker 1>And honestly I want to because I want to be

0:58:40.520 --> 0:58:42.440
<v Speaker 1>able to hang those photos and not just think of

0:58:42.480 --> 0:58:44.880
<v Speaker 1>that so hopefully. And but I will say to you,

0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:47.040
<v Speaker 1>you are three months in, give yourself time. Yeah, they

0:58:47.160 --> 0:58:50.040
<v Speaker 1>don't don't. You shouldn't even be thinking about that. And

0:58:50.040 --> 0:58:52.200
<v Speaker 1>and too, I did, so you can't say that because

0:58:52.240 --> 0:58:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I still, I mean, I was so upset

0:58:54.560 --> 0:58:56.640
<v Speaker 1>about that, like you ruin those these photos from me,

0:58:57.120 --> 0:58:59.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, don't think about putting the pig like you know,

0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:01.680
<v Speaker 1>to worry about putting the pictures up right now, or

0:59:01.720 --> 0:59:04.400
<v Speaker 1>your your wedding band or your wedding ring. I understand

0:59:04.400 --> 0:59:06.040
<v Speaker 1>that's what you want to think of, because it ruined

0:59:06.080 --> 0:59:08.760
<v Speaker 1>all of those things. Which also Jane and I both

0:59:08.760 --> 0:59:11.600
<v Speaker 1>got new I got a new engagement. I would not

0:59:11.600 --> 0:59:13.360
<v Speaker 1>put that ring back on my finger. I said, I

0:59:13.400 --> 0:59:15.840
<v Speaker 1>don't want it. I don't want this ring ever on

0:59:15.920 --> 0:59:19.080
<v Speaker 1>my finger. I got a new band, So that way

0:59:19.120 --> 0:59:21.919
<v Speaker 1>there aren't those you don't look down and the ring,

0:59:22.080 --> 0:59:26.760
<v Speaker 1>the symbol isn't tainted. So for us that was important.

0:59:27.000 --> 0:59:29.000
<v Speaker 1>And even if I says, I don't even care about

0:59:29.760 --> 0:59:31.720
<v Speaker 1>what it is, I just want I will not put

0:59:31.720 --> 0:59:34.000
<v Speaker 1>this back on my finger and said, all right, me neither.

0:59:34.120 --> 0:59:36.640
<v Speaker 1>So I am. That's really good advice for the anonymous

0:59:36.720 --> 0:59:40.200
<v Speaker 1>emailer that if you're going to recommit to yourself, post

0:59:40.240 --> 0:59:43.000
<v Speaker 1>things and where things that represents the new commitment that

0:59:43.040 --> 0:59:49.320
<v Speaker 1>you're making. Wow, that's great. Uh. Jericha emails that don't

0:59:49.400 --> 0:59:52.480
<v Speaker 1>kiss my baby. It's the subject line. So I'm newly pregnant,

0:59:52.520 --> 0:59:55.040
<v Speaker 1>but I automatically know not to kiss someone's newborn baby.

0:59:55.080 --> 0:59:56.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's appropriate at all to begin with.

0:59:56.960 --> 1:00:00.720
<v Speaker 1>But effort's horror stories about babies and people kiss them.

1:00:00.760 --> 1:00:02.720
<v Speaker 1>How do you not be rude? But make sure, hey,

1:00:02.960 --> 1:00:06.560
<v Speaker 1>don't kiss my baby. If anyone puts their lips near

1:00:06.680 --> 1:00:10.840
<v Speaker 1>Jason's lips, I'm gonna smack him. I don't like, I

1:00:10.840 --> 1:00:14.360
<v Speaker 1>don't want people kissing. Well, this so germs too, and

1:00:14.560 --> 1:00:16.560
<v Speaker 1>the baby. Someone I forgot to tell you this. We

1:00:16.560 --> 1:00:21.520
<v Speaker 1>were at Disneyland watching the parade. Someone recognized Jolie and

1:00:21.920 --> 1:00:23.640
<v Speaker 1>gave her a hug, and I was like you, I

1:00:23.680 --> 1:00:25.960
<v Speaker 1>don't even know you. And all the girls we were

1:00:26.000 --> 1:00:28.400
<v Speaker 1>just like, got so upset. You're just not telling me this.

1:00:28.560 --> 1:00:31.000
<v Speaker 1>I totally forget. Well, there's a lot going on that day,

1:00:31.920 --> 1:00:34.520
<v Speaker 1>like fifteen hours of Disneyland, was a lot of the toddlers.

1:00:34.520 --> 1:00:35.640
<v Speaker 1>So when I came home, I didn't want to talk

1:00:35.680 --> 1:00:39.480
<v Speaker 1>to anybody. So but no, yeah, it was it's like,

1:00:39.720 --> 1:00:43.360
<v Speaker 1>if you if you're a stranger, don't don't touch my child.

1:00:43.800 --> 1:00:46.600
<v Speaker 1>But then if it's family, I still don't really want.

1:00:46.840 --> 1:00:48.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, yes, you can kiss the baby, but don't.

1:00:49.120 --> 1:00:53.360
<v Speaker 1>Lips are totally off the subject. I think It's one

1:00:53.360 --> 1:00:55.120
<v Speaker 1>of those things that we even have to remind ourselves

1:00:55.160 --> 1:00:59.080
<v Speaker 1>with Jace where his parents, well, we say goes, so

1:00:59.240 --> 1:01:02.200
<v Speaker 1>try to have that kind of a whole mentality, be like, look, no,

1:01:02.360 --> 1:01:06.040
<v Speaker 1>don't kiss my baby. The whole faces off limits. Absolutely,

1:01:06.120 --> 1:01:09.880
<v Speaker 1>But come on, Grandma fine, I think grandma is an

1:01:09.880 --> 1:01:13.720
<v Speaker 1>aunt because the only babies I've ever excuse me, only

1:01:14.080 --> 1:01:18.400
<v Speaker 1>Grandma's and when you're taking care of them, you kiss

1:01:18.440 --> 1:01:21.000
<v Speaker 1>their cheek. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I think if

1:01:21.040 --> 1:01:24.440
<v Speaker 1>you're very close family, that's the only or like a

1:01:24.600 --> 1:01:26.920
<v Speaker 1>like a best friend, that's fine, but like a random friend,

1:01:26.960 --> 1:01:29.520
<v Speaker 1>even dicey on the friends. I mean, I let's Sarah

1:01:29.640 --> 1:01:34.040
<v Speaker 1>kiss Sarah kiss his pread? Yeah yeah, but I mean

1:01:34.120 --> 1:01:37.400
<v Speaker 1>if it was a guess for me, if it was anybody,

1:01:37.480 --> 1:01:40.880
<v Speaker 1>but like my sister is pregnant, that'll be my first nephew,

1:01:40.960 --> 1:01:44.360
<v Speaker 1>my first niece and nephew. Excuse me, I'm sorry, this

1:01:44.440 --> 1:01:46.960
<v Speaker 1>is a great topic to bring up. I do not

1:01:47.240 --> 1:01:52.000
<v Speaker 1>think that you think my niece and nephew in mouth.

1:01:53.000 --> 1:01:56.080
<v Speaker 1>So he actually does have a niece and nephew my

1:01:56.160 --> 1:01:58.920
<v Speaker 1>brother's kids. But this is my point exactly. You do

1:01:59.000 --> 1:02:01.680
<v Speaker 1>not think of that. You though, no, you don't clearly

1:02:01.720 --> 1:02:06.880
<v Speaker 1>because this is my first nephew. They're not babies. It

1:02:06.960 --> 1:02:11.000
<v Speaker 1>doesn't it Okay, Roy, I'm not going to call you

1:02:11.080 --> 1:02:18.800
<v Speaker 1>uncle anymore. But oh, Mike, you're an idiot. Idiot walked

1:02:18.920 --> 1:02:21.520
<v Speaker 1>right into that way. No, I do consider a Van

1:02:21.560 --> 1:02:25.680
<v Speaker 1>Dylan my niece and nephew. I do. They're No, they're

1:02:25.680 --> 1:02:28.560
<v Speaker 1>twelve and thirty guys, so maybe not right. All I'm

1:02:28.600 --> 1:02:32.280
<v Speaker 1>saying my point, your sister, Yes, you're new, your your

1:02:32.280 --> 1:02:36.960
<v Speaker 1>first ever, our first. I have one nephew, thinking our

1:02:37.040 --> 1:02:42.360
<v Speaker 1>new nephew like him, I would kiss, but a friend's

1:02:42.400 --> 1:02:46.360
<v Speaker 1>baby even or anybody else's I wouldn't like nobody else's.

1:02:47.200 --> 1:02:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I would do it if it was if Steven was

1:02:49.640 --> 1:02:51.880
<v Speaker 1>just now having a Van Dylan. Yes, I would kiss

1:02:51.920 --> 1:02:54.560
<v Speaker 1>them because I am their uncle and I consider them

1:02:54.560 --> 1:02:57.680
<v Speaker 1>my niece and nephew. But when I met him there

1:02:58.560 --> 1:03:00.640
<v Speaker 1>seven and eight, and they already have like three uncles

1:03:00.680 --> 1:03:03.680
<v Speaker 1>before you, so it's right, I mean, for all the cares.

1:03:04.600 --> 1:03:06.960
<v Speaker 1>And Jeanne has got another uncle here, we're not calling

1:03:07.000 --> 1:03:10.720
<v Speaker 1>him uncle. I think like if I saw James, I don't.

1:03:10.720 --> 1:03:13.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna hold Jay seven. That's like what unless

1:03:13.640 --> 1:03:16.520
<v Speaker 1>you were like, hey, can you, but if you kiss him,

1:03:16.520 --> 1:03:21.760
<v Speaker 1>you're right, I'd like permission, but like my nieces, yeah,

1:03:21.880 --> 1:03:24.160
<v Speaker 1>I think there's like, that's the line your friend has

1:03:24.240 --> 1:03:29.120
<v Speaker 1>no business like up, I would kiss my friend. I

1:03:29.480 --> 1:03:33.680
<v Speaker 1>kissed Davy. Come on, it's my best friends baby. I

1:03:33.720 --> 1:03:37.720
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't want kiss him where the cheek. And yeah, I

1:03:37.760 --> 1:03:40.240
<v Speaker 1>would never do lips. I mean I like make out

1:03:40.280 --> 1:03:44.160
<v Speaker 1>with my baby, but I always try to see I

1:03:44.280 --> 1:03:46.080
<v Speaker 1>know I was when he's hungry because when kiss him,

1:03:46.080 --> 1:03:49.400
<v Speaker 1>he starts sucking on my upper lip. That's how we

1:03:49.480 --> 1:03:53.920
<v Speaker 1>tested he's hungry, seedy. But yeah, ligious lips are off

1:03:54.040 --> 1:03:57.280
<v Speaker 1>off off limits. So yeah, we don't blame you. Okay,

1:03:57.360 --> 1:03:59.560
<v Speaker 1>so huge thank you to joy Bird. Go to joybird

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1:04:28.600 --> 1:04:30.920
<v Speaker 1>Mike was eating? Oh yeah, Michael, what was the donut

1:04:31.000 --> 1:04:34.200
<v Speaker 1>that you ate earlier? From the one and only Astroid

1:04:34.240 --> 1:04:38.400
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1:04:43.440 --> 1:04:48.280
<v Speaker 1>an Afro Donuts for a taste. It's delicious. Okay, seriously though,

1:04:48.360 --> 1:04:51.240
<v Speaker 1>Like I have to pee like I'm starting, I need

1:04:51.280 --> 1:04:54.320
<v Speaker 1>to be now crowning. I don't know, I think I'm starting.

1:04:54.640 --> 1:04:57.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm starting to cramp to like I don't know if

1:04:57.080 --> 1:04:58.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be able to walk, Like I think I

1:04:58.560 --> 1:05:02.880
<v Speaker 1>need a diaper, duck walk, duck walk A cat bit

1:05:02.920 --> 1:05:05.720
<v Speaker 1>are up there to helping him out out? Alright, guys,

1:05:05.840 --> 1:05:08.400
<v Speaker 1>love you, Let's U wine down next week together. By

1:05:16.200 --> 1:05:16.240
<v Speaker 1>h