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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jane Kramer, and I've heard radio podcast

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Speaker 1: I have to pee so bad. Of course you do.

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Speaker 1: This is what I do. Jenna thinks it's inconvenient to

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Speaker 1: pee during her day. I think it's the most time consuming,

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Speaker 1: most time time consuming, so time consuming. I have to

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Speaker 1: force you to go to the bathroom, like I'll ask Brian.

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Speaker 1: When I asked Jolie, I'm like, Jolie and Janna, do

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Speaker 1: you have to go to the bathroom. If you do,

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Speaker 1: tell Daddie and I'll help you. I get both you

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Speaker 1: at the same time. Well, no, even at the airport,

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Speaker 1: You're like, I have to pee. I'm like, god like, no,

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Speaker 1: because and that just wasted five minutes to have to

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Speaker 1: Now we have to walk down. We could have been

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Speaker 1: home five minutes sooner. Uh we had to sit in

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Speaker 1: an hour of l A traffic on the way home,

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Speaker 1: and you wanted to sit that way having to pee. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you you literally forced me to go to the bathroom. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I do, like Janna, go to the bathroom. And it's

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Speaker 1: like Jolie, I treat you guys the same. Put you

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Speaker 1: both on your little potties next to each other, the

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Speaker 1: white both of you. No, I just I don't know

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Speaker 1: what it is, but I knew I had to pee.

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Speaker 1: I had to actually pee about an hour and a

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Speaker 1: half ago. But again it's there's so many things I

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Speaker 1: have to do before I use the bathroom. Like my

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Speaker 1: friend Rachel and I were talking about this when they

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Speaker 1: came to visit um over the holidays, and I said,

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Speaker 1: I have to go to the bathroom, but then I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to go because I have to do I

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Speaker 1: have to I walk past the laundry, so I have

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Speaker 1: to put the laundry in the dryer, and then I'll

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Speaker 1: stop by the refrigerator because I'll probably have to make

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Speaker 1: something for Jolie. And then I'll see something on the

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Speaker 1: counter that I have to do, and then I'll take

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Speaker 1: a phone call and then it's five hours later and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I have a bladder infection. Meanwhile, if I

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Speaker 1: feel like I have to go to the bathroom just

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Speaker 1: a little bit, I'm like, you know what, it's a

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Speaker 1: good time. I'm gonna go in the bathroom and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna stop whatever it is I'm doing in that moment

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Speaker 1: to go have my time and secualary. And I realized

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Speaker 1: now that why when I was a kid, why my

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Speaker 1: dad would take so long in the bathroom where they

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Speaker 1: had to go numb. One or two, I realized it

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Speaker 1: was escaped from the kids. And now I'm realizing I'm

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Speaker 1: becoming that guy. But here's the thing that's what's so

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Speaker 1: frustrating is because I know when I know when you're

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Speaker 1: in the bathroom, because it's at least twenty to thirty

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Speaker 1: minutes of where's daddie and you're I opened the door

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Speaker 1: and you're playing like Solitaire on your on your phone

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Speaker 1: or something that would be more realistic five minutes, but

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Speaker 1: even five minutes feels like a longer time. It's your

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Speaker 1: feet will go, my legs like go to sleep. If

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Speaker 1: I sit on there any longer than that, that's when

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Speaker 1: you know you're on too long. When I stand up

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Speaker 1: or something and like my feet are tingling because they

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Speaker 1: fell asleep from sitting down too long. I love that

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Speaker 1: this is just become a full on conversation. But since

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Speaker 1: we're on this topic about the kids, I see Julie

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Speaker 1: doesn't let me go to the bathroom because the other

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Speaker 1: day I actually sat down because I had to pooh,

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Speaker 1: and so Julie comes in. She she was mommy poopoo,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, can I just have five minutes?

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Speaker 1: Even when I had take five minutes, I still don't

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Speaker 1: get five minutes. I understand she Uli does that to

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Speaker 1: me too. But what's funny you there about you when

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Speaker 1: is when you're like, hey, can can you hold Jason?

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Speaker 1: I have to give a bathroom and I'll be in

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Speaker 1: the middle of doing something and you're like, hey, can

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Speaker 1: you hold it? And I'm in my head, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what do you do when I'm not here? Like do

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Speaker 1: you actually with him in my arm? Literally? It was

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Speaker 1: so I was like I had to go so bad

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Speaker 1: I couldn't put him down and kept crying. So I

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Speaker 1: was like, all right, Jason in the party with me

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Speaker 1: one arm cradling him, and I'm like wiping a button.

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Speaker 1: That's a parent right there. Parent life. Anyways, Well that

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Speaker 1: was a fun little topic for you. There you go

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Speaker 1: put I'm bump boom, and I still have to pee

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Speaker 1: ladies and gentlemen. So we have Jillian Michael's calling in

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Speaker 1: any minute. And I just do realize how big of

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Speaker 1: a fan I am of hers. I thought I did

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Speaker 1: until you started geeking out. I know. So I'm such

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Speaker 1: a big fan of hers that I actually went to

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Speaker 1: one of the Biggest Loser Finette live tapings in l a. I.

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Speaker 1: I just think it's so good. She's so mean, but

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Speaker 1: she's just like awesome. She's like the abbe Leie Miller

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Speaker 1: of of workouts, of weight loss, you have weight loss.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's you have that persona in you.

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Speaker 1: You just wish you could be more mean, Like you're

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Speaker 1: you're already in Alpha and the Boss, but you wish

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Speaker 1: you had more mean in your body. Yeah, like like that.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I have a lot of people listening

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Speaker 1: right now, like Kathink like, well, you can kind of

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Speaker 1: be me. Oh, you definitely can. The one is closest

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Speaker 1: to you. We definitely know you can be. But your

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Speaker 1: heart is still in a good place. Um, there's something

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Speaker 1: else that's gonna say about her. Oh so there's this

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Speaker 1: stuff going around right now that she totally diss the

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Speaker 1: Keto diet, and so so what does the Keto diet into?

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Speaker 1: Keto diet is basically the whole thirty but it lets

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Speaker 1: you have wine, and it lets you have some fruits,

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Speaker 1: not all thru it. Lets you have Um. It basically

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Speaker 1: is putting your body to ketosis is that the right word.

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Speaker 1: No idea is that markya. So there's certain things you

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Speaker 1: can have. It's it's very similar to the Whole thirty.

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Speaker 1: But she hate eat it on it and I'll broker

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Speaker 1: a few other people or Andy Cohen just said, well,

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Speaker 1: basically dissed her back. So I'm really curious to see

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Speaker 1: what she thinks. Because we tried the Whole thirty and

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Speaker 1: I wanted to quit every two. I was like, Michael,

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Speaker 1: come on, we don't have to do this. We don't

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Speaker 1: have to deprive help justifying everything. I just really wanted

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Speaker 1: my glass of wine. So I'm on the on the

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Speaker 1: Wine thirty, That's what I'm calling. So I'm still doing

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Speaker 1: the whole thirty, but I'm letting myself drink wine because

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Speaker 1: why the f not. I sent a text message to

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Speaker 1: Juliet I go, look, I am thirty five year old

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Speaker 1: making adults. If I want to have it a thin

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Speaker 1: glass of wine, I'm going to have one because I

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Speaker 1: can sound like a lot of justification, rationalization, whatever right

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Speaker 1: now what everyone does when they have like a New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolution, Everyone's just like, you know what, I'm an adult. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm still I'm still following some of the rules for

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Speaker 1: the month. We're following a lot of the rules. Besides

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Speaker 1: But besides that, I'm pretty sure it was a dirty compliance.

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Speaker 1: I thought you said we weren't doing that. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: until I saw it. I'm gonna have two lasses one.

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Speaker 1: It's not my fault. What do you think you're gonna

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Speaker 1: ask Jillian work out questions? There is going to be

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Speaker 1: more like workout No, not workout questions. I'm interested. I

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Speaker 1: wrote two things down which I can just ask her

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Speaker 1: on there. Okay, well that was fun, has a lot

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Speaker 1: of fun. Would you like me to you want to

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Speaker 1: discuss the questions down? Out of all the things she's done,

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Speaker 1: she's done a ton, right, what is she most proud of?

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Speaker 1: Probably her kids? You know, shed were accomplishment, most proud of,

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Speaker 1: most proud of, most proud of you say, I don't talk. Oh.

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Speaker 1: By the way, we got into an argument the other

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Speaker 1: day in Mark and Michael was the biggest a hole

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Speaker 1: in the whole entire place. We've talked about this. You're

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Speaker 1: supposed to save all arguments for this podcast. I know, well,

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Speaker 1: this one we could not table. So we got into

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Speaker 1: probably our first blowout in a minute. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: a while and so we have some old behaviors come

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Speaker 1: off for like, we both kind of pretended it didn't happen.

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Speaker 1: I did talk to my therapist about it though, so

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Speaker 1: we did. Are we going to process it with our

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Speaker 1: couples therapists? We can keep him in the dark to know, Okay. Well, anyways,

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Speaker 1: so we're in we're in the bed and he's being

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Speaker 1: really mean because he gets really mean when we argue,

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Speaker 1: Like he says really nasty things when I when I

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Speaker 1: go offline, I can be mean. By the way, though, sidebar,

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Speaker 1: when people go offline, they also can kill spouses. So

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Speaker 1: that scares me when you say, well, when I go offline,

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Speaker 1: I say mean things. I'm not a monster. Maybe these

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Speaker 1: people are. They are. I'm just saying, you know, things

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Speaker 1: people can go offline. You never know what to do. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: we got into this argument and he made fun of

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Speaker 1: how I talk. Maybe if you speak clearer and I

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Speaker 1: that shooting. I just no. He basically says that I

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Speaker 1: don't talk right. You don't talk right. No, it's just

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Speaker 1: you have a different vocabulary than others. So basically, if

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Speaker 1: I said, because the charger thing, the power outlet I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at on the wall, a chargers charges things. So

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Speaker 1: she said, she said, there's a charger in the living room.

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Speaker 1: And I got the liver room and look for a

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Speaker 1: charger and there's not a charger out there. And I said,

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Speaker 1: there's not a charger. Say, kid, you know what the

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Speaker 1: way the thing you plug stuff in like the charger.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you mean the power outlets are that thing?

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Speaker 1: So God bless you, honey. Anyways, but you mocked me,

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Speaker 1: and that wasn't very nice. I don't know where I

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Speaker 1: was going with that, but that canvy would lead to

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Speaker 1: the argument. No, the argument, we can't talk about it

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Speaker 1: on air. I got triggered. Oh this is what happened.

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Speaker 1: So I got triggered by something and he was also

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Speaker 1: thinking about So I got giggered, and I will in

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Speaker 1: that moment, I would have liked if he acknowledged the

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Speaker 1: trigger because he was also thinking it too, and I

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Speaker 1: wasn't ready to say, Hey, a great topical, Jillian. So

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Speaker 1: let's definitely talk about this. Okay, we have to call

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Speaker 1: it right now, yes, but this is a good tease,

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Speaker 1: so you will elaborate more after we talk to Jillian.

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Speaker 1: I just love your voice. Marks stay tuned. We'll we'll

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Speaker 1: elaborate more after we talk to Jillian. Okay, So Michael

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Speaker 1: and I are moving to Nashville and we are knee

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Speaker 1: deep right now in designing our home, which is what

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Speaker 1: I'm so excited about joy Bird. So each Joybird piece,

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Speaker 1: it's furniture. It's made by hand with care and precision,

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Speaker 1: using high quality hardwood and responsibly sourced materials to fit

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Speaker 1: your exact specifications. They're also a limited lifetime warranty included.

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Speaker 1: So the best part is that there is a three

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Speaker 1: sixty five day home trial, so you skip the furniture

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Speaker 1: store and you basically bring the showroom home. You get

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Speaker 1: to sit on it, sleep on it, and break it in.

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Speaker 1: And if you don't love your Joybird, you return it

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Speaker 1: for a full ref and it's hassle free in home delivery,

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Speaker 1: but even remove all the packaging materials and you get

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Speaker 1: free returns within two weeks a delivery. So I just

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Speaker 1: ordered the Soto chair and Taylor felt gray in maplewood.

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Speaker 1: It's really clean lines, perfect size to put under a

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Speaker 1: standing lamp or in the corner with a blanket draped

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Speaker 1: over it. It's actually going in our room, sweetheart. So yeah, Slash,

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Speaker 1: com promo code Joanna. Hey, Jillian, Mike good, Um, how

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Speaker 1: are you? Oh good? We've been a little bit hectic lately,

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Speaker 1: but good. So you're in New York right now? Right?

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Speaker 1: I was talking your Instagram last night because I'm a

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Speaker 1: massive fan. So you're in New York promoting your book right? Oh? Well,

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Speaker 1: thank you. It's totally mutual, and yes, that is. We

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Speaker 1: were in Toronto and now we're in New York, so

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Speaker 1: I know how crazy today and the book tour is

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Speaker 1: for you. But I'm just we're so thankful that you

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Speaker 1: um called in because again, like I said, I've been

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Speaker 1: a huge fan of yours for a long time, so

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Speaker 1: I'm just I'm super excited. I know, I know we

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Speaker 1: only have you for ten minutes, so we're going to

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Speaker 1: drill you right now. Is that cool? Oh? Please? Yeah? Absolutely? Okay,

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Speaker 1: so obviously we have to talk about the drama that's

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Speaker 1: going on right now about the Keto diet and the

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Speaker 1: things that you than. I'm so sorry. Can we talk

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Speaker 1: about that? Okay? Honestly, I think it's kind of ridiculous

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Speaker 1: because it's so ridiculous, and the fact that they fired

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Speaker 1: back like that honestly pissed me off. And I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be like she was just obviously you know more

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Speaker 1: than they know, because you're it's my job exactly. It's

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Speaker 1: like it's like, um, you talking about being an anchor

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Speaker 1: person or a host, you know, doing their job, right.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's But what's interesting about this is that

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Speaker 1: I've been two years researching this last book, and I

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Speaker 1: had a co author, which I very rarely do, specialized

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Speaker 1: in the space of anti aging, and you know, we

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Speaker 1: together review hundreds of studies, interviewed the top These guys

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Speaker 1: are called euroscientists. WI, you're scientists that specialize in anti aging.

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Speaker 1: I personally work with the top end of chronologists, registered dietitians. Like,

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Speaker 1: this information is not coming from me personally. I didn't

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Speaker 1: just come out and go, you know what I have

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Speaker 1: in the band like this is this is science. So

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Speaker 1: by the way, it's also a common sense. But you know,

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Speaker 1: so for keto diet, what is what is the problem

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Speaker 1: that you're there? They're basically you're not getting the nutrients

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Speaker 1: that you should be getting. It's a kind of a

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Speaker 1: long answer, right, because there are so many problems with it.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, let's first look at what the diet

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Speaker 1: of spouses. And it's kind of tough to get to

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Speaker 1: really pin someone down because people do different versions of it.

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Speaker 1: So for example, I'm so sorry. I think my eight

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Speaker 1: year old is dancing in the room and I love

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Speaker 1: the dancing and the singing, but if we could keep

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Speaker 1: the singing just right now? Uh? And I, by the way,

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Speaker 1: I remember seeing you a tailgate best with your little

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Speaker 1: girl on stage, so I know that you're I totally

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Speaker 1: understand through. Please forgive the background noise. But um, so

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Speaker 1: thinking it as follows, right, First of all, what keto

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Speaker 1: are most keto people talk about is like, well, it's

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Speaker 1: low card, right, And the whole key is to be

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Speaker 1: in ketosis, which means you're depriving your body of carbohydrates

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Speaker 1: to the point of what is quite honestly considered a

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Speaker 1: state of medical emergency, and the body then starts burning

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Speaker 1: through fat at an accelerated pace, and we think, well

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Speaker 1: that's great, right, Like who wouldn't think that's great because

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Speaker 1: there's no other source of fuel. In addition, people with

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Speaker 1: infulin related health issues like type two diabetes or polycystical

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Speaker 1: variant syndrome. Are saying, oh, well, you know it's helped

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Speaker 1: me reverse all these conditions, And you'd also think, well,

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Speaker 1: that would be great, right, But the reality is that

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Speaker 1: you can do all those things with common sense eating

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Speaker 1: balanced macronutrients right, restricting your calories, and work not on

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Speaker 1: a consistent basis. Because by the way, I had pc

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Speaker 1: US as a kid, I was overweight as a teenager,

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Speaker 1: and I not only have kept myself help eating common sense,

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Speaker 1: clean foods, balance macros, but it's helped thousands of other

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Speaker 1: people achieved the exact same thing. So point being, you

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Speaker 1: can get all the good with a healthy diet that

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Speaker 1: has none of the side effects. Now, yeah, I wasna

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Speaker 1: because Michael and I, Michael and I challenged ourselves to

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Speaker 1: do the Whole thirty this month. We've we've already quit.

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Speaker 1: But do you do you feel this? Do you feel

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Speaker 1: do you feel the same way about the whole thirty? No?

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Speaker 1: I mean this is the whole thirty is just whole

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Speaker 1: foods right for thirty days? Yeah, but no wine, Jillian,

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Speaker 1: no wine. Okay, I'm a mama too, Okay, Okay, So

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Speaker 1: you know what's interesting about that. So basically just just

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Speaker 1: kind of drop up on the key too. You're you're

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Speaker 1: you're starving your body of fiber micronutrients, which are vitamins

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Speaker 1: and minerals when you cut out food groups um of

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Speaker 1: macro nutrients. Right, so yoursells are made up of seen

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Speaker 1: fat and carve. We've seen that diets high and saturated

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Speaker 1: fats and animal protein are bad for achilomeres, which would

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Speaker 1: these little taps in your DNA strands that protect yourself.

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Speaker 1: It's taxing on the liver, it's taxing on your adrenal system,

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Speaker 1: it's taxing on your thyroid, and the list goes on

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Speaker 1: and on and on. So when you look in the

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Speaker 1: mirror and you think you've lost weight, you're you're not

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Speaker 1: seeing the damage you're doing to your inside long term.

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Speaker 1: So again we could go on and on and on,

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Speaker 1: and I write all about it in the book. But well,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about wine. That's actually a very This is

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Speaker 1: something I act. I did a bit of it about

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Speaker 1: faith because for years, alcohol is not great when you're

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Speaker 1: trying to lose weight, right, So I would say that

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Speaker 1: you know you've got to stop drinking if you're trying

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Speaker 1: to lose weight, but when it comes to longevity up

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Speaker 1: to they say to drinks at night, and I was

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Speaker 1: just in my mind, I was like, Okay, that's it's

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Speaker 1: a lot of alcohol over the course of a lifetime.

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Speaker 1: And we do know that drinking too much is related

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Speaker 1: to ovarian cancer, breast cancer and can contribute to ABC. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so think six to eight drinks a week max. And

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Speaker 1: no more than two to three max. A night. It's fine.

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Speaker 1: I just want I just want one a night, Jillian,

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Speaker 1: one a night. That's fine. That's good for you. So

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Speaker 1: especially brand the aging. It helps to remove amyloid plaques

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Speaker 1: associated with Alzheimer's from from your brain. Literally, it's like

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Speaker 1: a bath for your brain. It helps keep your liver

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Speaker 1: primed with specific enzymes and improved detoxification and digestion. Because

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Speaker 1: when we really talk detox like that's the job of

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Speaker 1: your liver. Nothing else is doing that except your long

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Speaker 1: your liver. Just mean, it's not sweating, it's not starvation

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Speaker 1: and not eating, it's making sure those organs function optimally

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Speaker 1: and keeping your liver prime to a little bit of

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Speaker 1: alcohol actually helps you do that. Um and red wine

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Speaker 1: has a lot of anti axims and polyphenos in it

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Speaker 1: like resveratrol to help fight free radicals. So you're you're

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Speaker 1: doing fine. There Can we drink wine together sometime? I

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Speaker 1: would love to. That's the that's jan is happy, she's

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Speaker 1: set for the day. She she just needed to know

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Speaker 1: that she can hang out with you and also justify

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Speaker 1: her wine drinking because we eat healthy right, And that's

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Speaker 1: and that's the thing too that brings me to my question,

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Speaker 1: Jillian is obviously so many people across the country, especially

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Speaker 1: during the month of January, you know, New Year, knew

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Speaker 1: me and all that stuff. They want to diet, they

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Speaker 1: want to work out. What is your advice from your profession,

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Speaker 1: your experience for someone you know who is trying to

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Speaker 1: change their eating habits or workout habits, what's their advice?

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Speaker 1: What's advice for them to like stick to it? Okay, First,

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Speaker 1: I would say a balanced approach, one that isn't too

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Speaker 1: extreme one way or another, whether it's fitness or food,

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Speaker 1: it is not only better for you, but it's more sustainable.

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Speaker 1: But the second thing is that at the end of

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Speaker 1: the day, anything worth having right, whether it's a flourishing career,

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Speaker 1: a healthy relationship, a healthy body is going to require

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Speaker 1: work and some sacrifice. But if you have a why,

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Speaker 1: you can tolerate the how. And how is the work

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Speaker 1: on the sacrifice associated with the goal. Then that's why

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Speaker 1: I always say, like, work with a purpose becomes passion,

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Speaker 1: but work without purpose just feels punishing. And I think

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Speaker 1: we already feel punished up by the stressors of our

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Speaker 1: daily lives. You're really gonna stop and think, how is

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Speaker 1: my life going to improve? I go to the gym

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Speaker 1: for twentyman's stay instead of you know, just going home

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Speaker 1: and picking up take out and sitting on the couch

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Speaker 1: to watch my favorite show because it sounds good to

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Speaker 1: me in this moment. And I mean, like details, is

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Speaker 1: it meeting your kids kids, is it looking good in

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Speaker 1: a wedding dress? Is it wearing a two piece instead

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Speaker 1: of a one piece? Is it sexy with the light song?

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Speaker 1: Which I happen to think is greatly overrated? But you

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Speaker 1: know what, it's the day from us, So you know

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Speaker 1: why I cut out our options. It doesn't matter what

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Speaker 1: the reasoning is, as long as you care about it,

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Speaker 1: and if you care enough, you'll do the work and

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Speaker 1: it will be worth it. That's fantastic and so relaying

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Speaker 1: that message everybody. What's your y every day, Jillian, Like,

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Speaker 1: what motivates you to do the work that you do

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Speaker 1: across the board? I have so many right of course, now,

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Speaker 1: like you guys, I have young kids and I want

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Speaker 1: to be around for them. I want to meet their kids.

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Speaker 1: I would love to meet their kids kids. I want

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Speaker 1: to set an example for my kids. I want to

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Speaker 1: be the mom that's like powerful and strong and on

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Speaker 1: this geeselopes with them, shooting hoops with them, not like

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Speaker 1: on the sideline, you know, kind of with a soda

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Speaker 1: in my hand. Not that I judge any of their parents,

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Speaker 1: but for my kids, I want to be in their lives,

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Speaker 1: not on the sidelines of their lives. And I want

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Speaker 1: to show them it's okay to make time for yourself.

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Speaker 1: It's okay to make yourself a priority because then you're

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Speaker 1: better able to support other people. So family, of course

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Speaker 1: would be number one. And you know what, like any

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Speaker 1: other human, I want to look good. I want to

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Speaker 1: feel good about my body and feel comfortable in my

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Speaker 1: own skin. I want to wear skinny jeans and feel

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Speaker 1: good in them. And I don't think there's anything wrong

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Speaker 1: with that, and it doesn't mean, you shouldn't feel good

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Speaker 1: at any size. I just personally feel better when I'm

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Speaker 1: a size four. You know, that's what I feel, healthy

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Speaker 1: and strong. That's amazing. So, Jillian, you have your new

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Speaker 1: book out right now. It's The Six Keys unlot To

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Speaker 1: you know. I don't let you just use it because

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Speaker 1: because I just got time. Time. It's The Six Keys

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Speaker 1: to Unlock your Genetic Potential for ageless health, strength and beauty.

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Speaker 1: And bottom line's an anti aging book and I'm not

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Speaker 1: afraid to say that. And the whole idea is that

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Speaker 1: we should want to be the best version of ourselves

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Speaker 1: for years to come. So whether you your grandparents had

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Speaker 1: Alzheimer's and you want to prevent it um or take

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Speaker 1: every stuff you can to prevent it, or again you

423
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,119
Speaker 1: just want to look and feel great in every decade

424
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: of your life, this book is designed to help you

425
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 1: do that. Well, Gillian, we love you. I love everything

426
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,919
Speaker 1: you're about. So thank you so much for coming on

427
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 1: the show and to talk to us. We appreciate it.

428
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 1: And good luck with your book. I'm going to get

429
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: it right now. I'm gonna I'm gonna hold you to

430
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:06,920
Speaker 1: that wine day the next time we're in the same

431
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: Oh yes, please, all right, Julian, Okay, thanks. She wants

432
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,720
Speaker 1: to have wine with me. That's amazing. I just like

433
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 1: the fact that she's because when I work out with Aaron,

434
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: she'll be like, no wine. It's like Aaron, you know,

435
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:28,359
Speaker 1: I'm going to have wine. But I think it's all about,

436
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: like she said, it's moderation. It's not about starving your

437
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 1: body of things. And I think when we did the

438
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 1: whole thirty we started, we took away things that we

439
00:22:36,160 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: like your sandwich is, yes, do you have to have

440
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 1: a sandwich every single day and have breads and passes? No,

441
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 1: But it's things in moderation, which I think is important

442
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: instead of just completely taking everything out of your diet.

443
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 1: Because we're going to put those things back in even

444
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,360
Speaker 1: though I'm not doing I'm you know, I'm not doing

445
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: cheese or dairy this month, and and carbs grains, but

446
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eventually have those again. So why why don't

447
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: I I don't know, it's just it's gonna be just

448
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: so fat to me. No, And that's a thing, like

449
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: Jillian was saying, it's all about balance, whatever kind of

450
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 1: change you make in your life. And if people just

451
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 1: drastically change everything they do for a new year, their

452
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 1: new New Year's resolution. Then just that just added adds

453
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,879
Speaker 1: so much stress onto whatever stress they already have in

454
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 1: their life. Granted, it depends on your mentality too, Like

455
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 1: for me personally, personally, speak for yourself. Um, I know

456
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,399
Speaker 1: that for like carbs, for sandwiches and everything. I just

457
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,879
Speaker 1: love a sandwich at lunch. I have to cut it

458
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 1: out completely. What you can't just have one otherwise I'm

459
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: just saying for the time being, like for this month,

460
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,159
Speaker 1: because yeah, otherwise I will have one one day and

461
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,480
Speaker 1: it's like I hadn't we yesterday, I'll have another that

462
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,239
Speaker 1: was really good. I'll have another one the next thing.

463
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: You know, it's like four days in a row I

464
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: had a sandwich, and if you want a sandwich, I know,

465
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: I know, But then you know, what's the point of

466
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,480
Speaker 1: even unquote doing a diet if we're not going to

467
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 1: do something. I'm just trying to break my habits, which

468
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 1: is why I wanted to do this begin with, not

469
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,080
Speaker 1: have the protein bar every single morning, actually make breakfast,

470
00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: and we've made lunches and had salads or and I

471
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 1: never eat lunch, and actually eating real fits you never

472
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,160
Speaker 1: ate lunch. I always had sandwiches, So now we're actually

473
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: having substantial meals at lunch. Oh. I do have a

474
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,959
Speaker 1: question though, for you that they about working out. So

475
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 1: I've made the workouts for the calendar, but yet you've

476
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: not come out to work out. So you say you

477
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,320
Speaker 1: want to work out, and I put it on the calendar,

478
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: then why don't you fall through with it? So you're

479
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 1: being basically you're doing I never but the thing I

480
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 1: never said committed. I never said yeah, absolutely, I'll do

481
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 1: I'll be there. I just thought you wanted to work

482
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,399
Speaker 1: out with me. For you, I think for me, the

483
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 1: times that you work out are my least motivating times

484
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: in the day. When do you want to work out?

485
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: In my in my career and everything, I was mostly

486
00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 1: first thing in the morning, like six am now, right,

487
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: But again now we have kids and all that, so

488
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,960
Speaker 1: that's just not a realistic thing when we're up with

489
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:11,880
Speaker 1: the infant right now. Um. By the way, Michael got

490
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: rule ups at last night and he slammed his hand

491
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 1: to the wall glass that was rough was a zombie.

492
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,160
Speaker 1: I don't even remember that, really, you don't, not really

493
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: I do. I remember you going good and then next

494
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 1: thing I know here hand to the I was like, Michael,

495
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 1: switch now immediately go to bed. He said, no, under,

496
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get him. Go to the room immediately with

497
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: my tail between my legs and head down. Well, sometimes

498
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 1: it can be so frustrating when they keep crying, but

499
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: that's when you that's when we got to tag out bed.

500
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: But anyways, so I either first thing in the morning

501
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 1: or later at night. It's just your time isn't motivating

502
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 1: for me, So I just have to find my own

503
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 1: time tapping up. So along with Michael and I eating healthy,

504
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 1: we're also adding in a healthier overall lifestyle so you

505
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: can ditch all the expensive gym membership, personal trainers, and nutritionalists.

506
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 1: So with NOM, okay, they help you educate on a

507
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 1: healthier lifestyle and habits. NOOM doesn't say you can't have

508
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: certain foods, so that means you can have things in moderation,

509
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: and that's exactly what they're teaching you. Weight losses in

510
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:17,160
Speaker 1: the palm of your hand, literally on your phone, whenever

511
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 1: and wherever you need it. You don't have to be

512
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,919
Speaker 1: a celebrity to have personalized training of your own support system.

513
00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:25,200
Speaker 1: What I also love about Noon too, is that there's

514
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: a community there for you. There's group discussions with fellow

515
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,639
Speaker 1: new members to keep you encouraged, and then all for

516
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,359
Speaker 1: less than the price of a single appointment with a

517
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: nutritionalist or personal trainer. And it's so easy. I just

518
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 1: had to take the thirty second quiz and they emailed

519
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 1: me a custom course that would help me reach the

520
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: goal that I want. They even sent out a fourteen

521
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: page packet covering details of your goals for your health

522
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: and mental wellness, you're eating habits, and what new eating

523
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: habits you want. It's literally an online nutritionist num is

524
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 1: designed for your results. Meet your resolutions by signing up

525
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,199
Speaker 1: for your trial today at noon and O O M

526
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,480
Speaker 1: dot com slash Jana, what do you have to lose?

527
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,680
Speaker 1: Visit noon dot com slash Jane to start your trial

528
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: toy again, that's nooon dot com slash Janna start losing

529
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 1: weight for good. You know I hate when an easy

530
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: task takes up a lot of your day. Well, also,

531
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: you just did this with Jolie and you wanted to

532
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 1: pull your hair out. Oh wait, you don't have hair

533
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,520
Speaker 1: my back heart that works. I'm gonna stop going the

534
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: post office to send letters and packages. Were not telling

535
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: you about Stamp style, I know you have, And finally

536
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm giving in. Jana has been on it for a while.

537
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: Now I'm conforming. Stamps dot Com brings all the amazing

538
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 1: services of the US Postal Service right to your computer.

539
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: Not only saves you time, it saves you money as well.

540
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 1: And they send you a scale too, So if you're

541
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,800
Speaker 1: sending a package, it's super super easy and convenient and

542
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: reliable and efficient. And right now you two can enjoy

543
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,200
Speaker 1: the Stamps dot Com service at the special offer that

544
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: includes a four week trial plus postage and like I said,

545
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: the digital scale. So start the new year off right.

546
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,879
Speaker 1: Go to stamps dot com, click on the microphone at

547
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 1: the top of the homepage and type in Janna. That's

548
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 1: Stamps dot com and enter Janna. All right, so it's

549
00:27:57,119 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: fertility time. Dr Kristen Bendixon is going to be on

550
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 1: the phone. We're dialing in her right now. She's an

551
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 1: assistant professor of I can never say this word at

552
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 1: gunecology at USC. Kristen. Yeah, sorry, Dr Kristen. Um. This

553
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: is Janna and Mike. Hi. I'm good. How are you guys? Good?

554
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 1: So we're super excited to talk to you because Michael

555
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,120
Speaker 1: and I did an event a couple of weeks ago.

556
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 1: We did a live podcast event down in Santa Monica

557
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 1: and we held basically a live Q and A for

558
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 1: people to our fans to ask us questions. And one

559
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 1: of the reoccurring questions that came up time and time

560
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 1: again was about infertility, and so that's why we wanted

561
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 1: to have you on talk Um talk a little bit

562
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:44,560
Speaker 1: more about infertility. And then also we really want people

563
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 1: to email their questions into so we'd love to have

564
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,120
Speaker 1: you back on the show so you could uh answer

565
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: some of the questions that come in love It sounds great, Okay, awesome?

566
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,800
Speaker 1: Who So, uh, Michael and I have done a couple

567
00:28:55,840 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: of rounds of ivf UM and so we of now

568
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,560
Speaker 1: two kids. So we are we are officially I believe

569
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,920
Speaker 1: I think done having kids. But are you ever officially done?

570
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,800
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. Michael's about to make his snipped

571
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: appointment and I was driving in the car. Didn't tell

572
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: his babe, but I was like, I mean, maybe maybe

573
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 1: we should try. I don't know. After last night, I

574
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, we're done. We do. We have a

575
00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 1: seven week old and so he's in the midst of Yes. No,

576
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: my kids are ten and twelve, but I remember those

577
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,560
Speaker 1: days very vividly. But I do have a question though

578
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 1: about if that was to happen. So, you know, I'm

579
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five, so technically I'm geriatric pregnancy. I'd be

580
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:47,000
Speaker 1: geriatric pregnancy, right, No, I thought, compared to my patience,

581
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: you're young. Well technically the thirty five isn't that geriatric?

582
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: Was that they call it? No, No one goes. I mean,

583
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: it's horrible to call anything geriatric. But um, I mean

584
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: I think after the age of thirty five, there are

585
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: can it harder to get pregnant? Um, there can be

586
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:06,200
Speaker 1: more complications and so um, you know, you just have

587
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: to kind of keep up closer eye on certain things.

588
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 1: But most pregnancies really aren't that different after the age

589
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: of thirty five than before. Christian what about it biologically

590
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 1: make like causes uh more difficulty once a woman is

591
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: because thirty five is relatively young still in the big

592
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 1: picture of life, what about it makes it so much

593
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 1: more difficult about getting pregnant or in the pregnancy Sapa

594
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:36,400
Speaker 1: Bross both getting pregnant and also any and the increased

595
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 1: risk of complications throughout pregnancy. UM So, in terms of

596
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 1: actually getting pregnant, the biggest issue is that, um, the

597
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 1: eggs are older. UM so, women's eggs are in their

598
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: ovaries since before they were born, um and so, and

599
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: they're not actually fully developed, and so they go through

600
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 1: their final stages of development at the time and of

601
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,440
Speaker 1: like when the egg is being released at ogulation and

602
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 1: when it's getting fertilized by the sperm, and so all

603
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: the little mechanical parts that are responsible for guiding that

604
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: egg through that developmental process. Like if you're trying to

605
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: get pregnant thirty five, those little chemical parts of three five.

606
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: If if you're trying to get pregnant at forty, those

607
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 1: mechanical parts are forty and so, just like mechanical parts

608
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,160
Speaker 1: of a phone, a car, a computer, you know what,

609
00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: they just fail and screw up. Um And so unfortunately

610
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,479
Speaker 1: with the egg, when those little mechanical parts go like

611
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 1: when things go badly, then oftentimes it leads to an embryo,

612
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 1: which is just a you guys, I mean as if

613
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: you've been through IBF, you know it's just a fertilized egg. UM.

614
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 1: That embryo just can't become a pregnancy. And so the

615
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 1: issue is is as you get older, those mechanical failures

616
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 1: are become more common, and so what that results in

617
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,280
Speaker 1: is that when you release an egg each month, it's

618
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: just less likely that that egg can become a pregnancy,

619
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,200
Speaker 1: and so it just might you know, that's why can

620
00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: take longer to get pregnant UM. And that's also what

621
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: causes UM miscarriages to go up as you get older,

622
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 1: because those same mechanical errors lead to UM chromosomal abnormalities.

623
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys had your embryos tested.

624
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,000
Speaker 1: We did, but testing that we had done was a

625
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. So I know now they test

626
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 1: twenty one chromosomes. Yes, so we test all we can

627
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: test all the chromosomes UM, and the testing the you know,

628
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 1: the technology that we have is you know, it's better

629
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 1: than it was three years ago, which was better than

630
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: five years ago. It's always refining and getting a little

631
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 1: bit better UM, and all of that testing is just

632
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 1: it's really just chromosome counting in your in your mind,

633
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 1: let's say, in let's say in twenty years, where do

634
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,800
Speaker 1: you think we're going to be out with infertility and

635
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: the progress of where the medicine is going. UM. What

636
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,240
Speaker 1: would be really amazing is a way to kind of

637
00:32:56,280 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: figure out, um, in a much less invasive way, what

638
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,480
Speaker 1: the issues are with the embryo. Like not, I bet

639
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: you we are not going to be doing a biopsy

640
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,120
Speaker 1: in twenty years anymore. In order to test the embryo.

641
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: We're going to be able to look at, you know,

642
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,640
Speaker 1: the media that the embryo is growing in, and the

643
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: embryos that are abnormal are going to like spit off

644
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: kind of like toxic things, and we're gonna be able

645
00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 1: to measure those things in the culture media and just

646
00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 1: kind of figure out from there. With embryos we can

647
00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 1: put in, we certainly are going to have much better

648
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: capability of kind of testing for things like your predisposition

649
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: for diabetes and other types of diseases like that. I mean,

650
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 1: I think it's a fine line of like where we

651
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,840
Speaker 1: ethically kind of start intervening too much in terms of

652
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 1: what we're choosing. UM. Yeah, I think that was always

653
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 1: Mike's problem. He said he didn't he felt like he

654
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: was almost playing god in a way. But yeah, that's

655
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,400
Speaker 1: the one aspect of it. I was kind of like,

656
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: just put you know, put her egg in there with

657
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,440
Speaker 1: sperm and kind of let the best man win almost

658
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: kind of thing they didn't do. And I you know,

659
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,600
Speaker 1: the way I was explained to my patients with IBS

660
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: is what's kind of happening in some aspect to anyway,

661
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: Like when they're getting the sperm ready for like right

662
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: before they do the fertilization, they're prepping the sperm and

663
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 1: like they're only selecting from the very best sperm. So

664
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,760
Speaker 1: it's the kind of same process that would happen normally

665
00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: in the body is kind of happening in the lab

666
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,280
Speaker 1: to some extent. And yes, if you're doing that procedure

667
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 1: called XI again, I don't like, you know, which that

668
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: was hard for him to pick. Yeah, Like they're picking

669
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 1: one sperm and putting it into the egg, but it's random,

670
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: like they can't. I mean, they're picking from the best,

671
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 1: which is exactly so in a way, it mimics what's

672
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: going on the body, right, Like you're picking from the

673
00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: best because only the best sperm in the body you're

674
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 1: going to get to the egg. Well, only the best

675
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 1: sperm are going to get being that final sample in

676
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,840
Speaker 1: the lab. And then it's really random like there's millions

677
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,440
Speaker 1: of sperms that are surrounding that little egg in the

678
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: Floppian tube, and so it's really random which one binds

679
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 1: to the egg, and it's really random which one the

680
00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,600
Speaker 1: embryologist happens to pick to put into the egg. So

681
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 1: it's kind of both um, you know, all about like

682
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,400
Speaker 1: how good this firms and a little bit of randomness,

683
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 1: And in those situations it's so fascinating. It's really when

684
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 1: you really think about the details. I think about that

685
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 1: every time we do an egro treasle, like I cannot like,

686
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: how is it possible that I can just stick this

687
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,799
Speaker 1: needle into this little fog, I'll drain it and we

688
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,719
Speaker 1: somehow get an egg. It's out of this world. Yeah,

689
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: it truly is a miracle when you go through the process,

690
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,400
Speaker 1: as you know, and that's what Jenna and I have

691
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,799
Speaker 1: told people that that we have some friends that are

692
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,879
Speaker 1: beginning the process right now, and we say the same thing,

693
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: where like, it's truly a miracle when you get down

694
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 1: to the science of it all. And like Jenna was saying,

695
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:31,680
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of questions when we're doing a

696
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 1: lot of podcast and what what do you have? What

697
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: kind of advice do you have for couples or women

698
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,799
Speaker 1: that are going through the early stages of IBF, you know,

699
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,799
Speaker 1: just mentally and physically how to prepare themselves. Um, I

700
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 1: think it's really I think probably the most important thing

701
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: is to try to kind of take care of yourself

702
00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: a little bit. It is so easy to get wrapped

703
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: up in the process and it's so emotionally draining. The

704
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 1: time is too, is the medicines make you crazy? Yeah?

705
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,160
Speaker 1: And yeah that medicines like impact like how you're feeling,

706
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,759
Speaker 1: and so to the extent that you can do anything,

707
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:14,840
Speaker 1: even if like once a day, to keep yourself centered. Um,

708
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:19,480
Speaker 1: not like stress about little things like it drives me bananas,

709
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,319
Speaker 1: Like when people are help patients, like, oh, you can't

710
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: have any caffeine and you kind of one step of

711
00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 1: alcohol and you can you have to eat this and

712
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 1: do this, and that leads to this restrictive life that

713
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: is so miserable and causes so much more stress in

714
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 1: an already really stressful process. So, you know, doing things

715
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: that kind of can get you through and knowing that

716
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: like you might need to lean on the people around

717
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 1: you and reaching out when you need help and finding

718
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 1: some like knowing that it is because it's going to

719
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 1: be stressful, like finding that kind of support network, whatever

720
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,240
Speaker 1: it is for you. And maybe that's not a person,

721
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: maybe that's writing in a journal, but something that kind

722
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:59,240
Speaker 1: of can get you through the process. So I guess

723
00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just it's just so hard because

724
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: I just I feel I mean, sometimes I feel guilty

725
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: because you know, now we have that. People are always

726
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 1: asked me, you know, how do you stay positive? And

727
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 1: in the moment, and I say to them, try to

728
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 1: stay positive. But in the moment, I couldn't even stay

729
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 1: positive because you don't know what the outcome is going

730
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 1: to be. Now I can look at the outcome and

731
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 1: be like, oh, now we have two beautiful kids. So

732
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: I guess I know what you're trying to say is

733
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 1: you're trying to say to stay centered, but it's just

734
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:30,480
Speaker 1: so hard. When it's really hard. You want that family,

735
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: and then you want to be hopeful, right, Like you

736
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: don't want to be a pessimist going into it, and

737
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 1: yet at the same time, like being hopeful is so

738
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 1: scary because it leaves you so vulnerable. Um and you're

739
00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: just kind of open to that that fact that it's

740
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:46,880
Speaker 1: just not going to work. And I think you know,

741
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 1: depending on how old you are and what the circumstances are,

742
00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:52,439
Speaker 1: sometimes the chance that it's going to work is low.

743
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 1: And so how do you kind of manage kind of

744
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 1: going through this entire process without just being like emotionally

745
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 1: crushed at the end. And I don't really know any

746
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,279
Speaker 1: way to kind of really mitigate that and kind of

747
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 1: keep that from happening. Yeah, no, no, I mean, no

748
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 1: one can prepare you for that roller coaster of physically

749
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: and emotionally, and so you go through and know that

750
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,160
Speaker 1: it's a roller and knowing that, I think is that's

751
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: actually huge, is that there are so many ups and

752
00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 1: downs of like, oh, you're so happy because you have

753
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: this many eggs, and like oh, you're devastated the next

754
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: day because the fertilization is poor. And then they call

755
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,919
Speaker 1: you the next day and they say, oh, then roals

756
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:32,879
Speaker 1: are developing, and then oh abnormal. It's like the ups

757
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 1: and downs and ups and downs. It's really you know,

758
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 1: it's it's draining. In Janna nice situation. So we actually

759
00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:44,440
Speaker 1: got for both of our children, Janna became pregnant naturally

760
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 1: for both and it was both times. It was one

761
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: month after it failed IVF cycle. Is that common from

762
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: your experience? Um? It happens all the time. UM. And

763
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: you know, we don't think that it's like it has

764
00:38:57,719 --> 00:38:59,879
Speaker 1: actually anything to do with the I V S because

765
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: like the IBS process doesn't really do anything to kind of,

766
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:08,280
Speaker 1: um change what's going to happen in the next cycle. Um.

767
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 1: But we see it all the time. What about medicines

768
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 1: that I'm taking the progesterone and things in my system

769
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: now because the progesterone is gone, Like why don't you

770
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: stop taking it? It's gone? Um? And that effect doesn't

771
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 1: kind of carry you over to the next month. But

772
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: I did get pregnant though each time. Yeah. No, I

773
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: mean like with the I VS with the IVF, so

774
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: maybe I had this some hCG in my system and

775
00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,720
Speaker 1: they don't even going to start you on your next cycle,

776
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 1: like you won't get your period into all that. It's

777
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: like kind of all those hormones of like kind of

778
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:38,520
Speaker 1: washed out of your body with time you get your period. Um.

779
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:40,880
Speaker 1: I was I mean it's probably yes. Is it common

780
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 1: that like it would happen so closely to both IVF

781
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: cycles And the answer is obviously no. Um, But we

782
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,560
Speaker 1: see it all the time. I mean it literally just

783
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 1: takes one good egg, one good sperm, you know. Interesting. Yeah,

784
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: all right, well, um, so we're going to have our

785
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: listeners right in, so you guys right in Janna Kramer

786
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: at I heart media dot com and then Dr Kristen

787
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,200
Speaker 1: bend Dixon. Um, you're going to answer the question. So

788
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: we're excited to have you back on and we just really, um,

789
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,280
Speaker 1: we hope that you guys email in again Jana Kramer

790
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: at I heart media dot com and she will answer

791
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: your IVF questions. Yeah, no, I think it's it's so important.

792
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: It's there are so many women that struggle with infertility

793
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 1: and um to the extent that we can make the

794
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:27,719
Speaker 1: process more transparent so they just kind of understand what

795
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: fertility treatments are all about, um, you know, understanding miscarriages

796
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: where such are which is such a like not spoken

797
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: about subject and kind of and also egg freezing, you know,

798
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,040
Speaker 1: in terms of just what we can do to prevent

799
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,239
Speaker 1: people from having to go through IVF later. Yeah, there's

800
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:46,759
Speaker 1: a lot to dig in there. Absolutely. Well, thank you

801
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:50,120
Speaker 1: so much, and we'll be talking with you soon. All right,

802
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: all right bye. You know what is sad actually the

803
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:59,320
Speaker 1: other Um, the other night, I started, you know, scrolling

804
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:01,400
Speaker 1: on my phone and I saw I was looking through

805
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:02,919
Speaker 1: my video. It was just kind of clearing some videos

806
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 1: out of my phone, and I saw the video of

807
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:08,680
Speaker 1: remember how we tracked the IVF process, and then I

808
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: put it on YouTube. By the way, that yawn face

809
00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,400
Speaker 1: wasn't nasty. Um you know where he's like trying not

810
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: to yawn, so he was making a weird face that

811
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 1: just happened. Um. But I I was just watching the

812
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 1: video and it just it pained me because I was

813
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 1: crying and I found out that we lost lost the

814
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 1: baby or the embryo, I guess because it was only

815
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: I was only a few weeks at that time. But

816
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 1: and then now I look at it, it's like, man,

817
00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 1: I wish, I wish I could go back and say

818
00:41:37,719 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 1: it's gonna be okay, You're gonna have a baby in

819
00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: in a year and a half. Right, it all sounds

820
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,200
Speaker 1: the fact. And I just I for the women out

821
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,320
Speaker 1: there that are struggling, I have a lot of empathy

822
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 1: for you, but hopefully you can see the silver lining

823
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 1: with other people's stories. And I think that's exactly what

824
00:41:56,440 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: just being the spouse in this situation and wouldn't seen

825
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:04,440
Speaker 1: you go through it is the people around the female

826
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: going through this process. Is all you can do is

827
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: be empathetic. Don't try to say make any promises, don't

828
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,359
Speaker 1: try to say it's gonna be okay even just say

829
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: that sucks and just allow you to feel those feelings,

830
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 1: because there's nothing that like I could say as a

831
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 1: husband and make you feel better. Well, I feel like

832
00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: you should say more than that sucks. No, but I'm

833
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 1: saying just feel that. You know what I mean. No,

834
00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 1: I would say it hurts me too because I know

835
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:34,080
Speaker 1: we I want this family, So that sucks. Wife was

836
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,279
Speaker 1: like crying in the bathroom. All right, Well, anyway on

837
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,879
Speaker 1: the earth the rest of our day. I don't mean

838
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:45,399
Speaker 1: like that not dismissive. Do you want to read try that? No,

839
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: because I'm imperfect. I love that. Then. So there's usually

840
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:54,920
Speaker 1: a clear path for Valentine's Day gifts for women flowers, candy, jewelry,

841
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 1: but for men not usually as simple. Oh do I

842
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: get all those things? It's candy? You know what's onny

843
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,160
Speaker 1: with this? I love man creates so much that I

844
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 1: actually think it's a clear cut gift from men this

845
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: holiday season for Valentine's Day women is actually harder because

846
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:14,919
Speaker 1: women might not want the same thing again. Flowers, cards, diamonds, diamonds, Yeah,

847
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 1: that should just say diamonds, diamonds, diamonds and maybe some flowers.

848
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:21,600
Speaker 1: Man Creates knows what guys like and they have hundreds

849
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,200
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850
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Speaker 1: him and take it from me. There are over a

851
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,360
Speaker 1: hundred different kinds of Man Creates. I have multiple, It's amazing.

852
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: I just ordered the make your own chef knife let

853
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: being in the kitchen and I can't wait for it

854
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:38,440
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855
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,040
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856
00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,680
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857
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 1: one a few examples of the crates that they have

858
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,040
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859
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: every man Kate comes. Every Man Create comes with a

860
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,520
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861
00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,200
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862
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,839
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863
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 1: just a Valentine's Day. Get fourteen percent off when you

864
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,960
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865
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 1: That's fourteen percent off when you spend one or more.

866
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 1: At Man creates dot com slash wine. Man Man creates

867
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: dot com slash one. That's w h I n A.

868
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: We should point out thanks Mark. All right, so we're

869
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: can talk about the argument. We can talk about the argument.

870
00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:28,799
Speaker 1: By the way, Jenna still has not relieved yourself. Yeah,

871
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 1: I still have to pee. Do you want to go?

872
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: Kind of, but let's just get this over with. So okay.

873
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:44,360
Speaker 1: So the other night Michael and I something happened and

874
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 1: it was a beauty It was beautiful, but I got

875
00:44:48,200 --> 00:44:53,319
Speaker 1: very triggered afterwards, and I wanted to say something to

876
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:56,839
Speaker 1: him and express because you know, our therapist say if

877
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 1: you're feeling something, expressed in a way like, hey, I'm

878
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: I just felt trigger and I want you to know

879
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:04,839
Speaker 1: so that I don't take it outsideways on him. But

880
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: I didn't say anything because the moment was so great

881
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 1: that I didn't want to ruin it. So I didn't

882
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,879
Speaker 1: say anything. And in the back of my mind, I

883
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 1: was hoping that he was going to come to me

884
00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: and acknowledge because I was hoping that he was feeling

885
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 1: the same trigger because the situation we both know was

886
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:27,240
Speaker 1: it was a major trigger and it was going to Yeah,

887
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:28,920
Speaker 1: it was. It was one of the few, if not

888
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 1: the last, kind of major trigger that we haven't addressed

889
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 1: or experienced to this point. So and it became the

890
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: biggest elephant in the room in that moment. Yeah, So

891
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 1: we went to bed on Yeah, we went to bed.

892
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 1: We went to bed, but without us really talking about

893
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: the elephant in the room. And I thought about it

894
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:57,959
Speaker 1: all night long. I was really upset. I cried about it.

895
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:00,000
Speaker 1: I was I mean, I didn't sleep at all because

896
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 1: I was so upset, and I I was going to

897
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,480
Speaker 1: say something, but then I was just, you know, thought

898
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: to myself, Okay, the next morning, it's probably just going

899
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:09,200
Speaker 1: to pass. Well. And the next morning it did not pass.

900
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,920
Speaker 1: And so Michael's trying to talk to me on Saturday,

901
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,799
Speaker 1: and I just I stayed pretty mute, and I said,

902
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 1: just I'm really not ready to talk right now. I

903
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: just need some time. It's basically what I said right

904
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:24,560
Speaker 1: before we brought up the situation. Yeah. Remember, because I

905
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 1: I took like half a day in the morning, I

906
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: was like, I knew something was going on with you. Yeah,

907
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:32,880
Speaker 1: you weren't ready to say what it was. And so

908
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:37,640
Speaker 1: then we I finally brought it to you and I

909
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: were sitting down in the couch. You were reluctant at first.

910
00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: I was reluctant at first because I was afraid of

911
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 1: your reaction, and I got validated in my fear of

912
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: his reaction. So I sat down and I was telling

913
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 1: him how it how that night made me feel, and

914
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: how I got triggered and these are the things that

915
00:46:56,560 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: came up for me, and you did not listen to me.

916
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 1: You went straight into your shame, and basically it validated

917
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 1: and for me, I have the hardest time, and we

918
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:10,719
Speaker 1: just talked about in therapy. I have the hardest time

919
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: bringing up a fear of something because I don't want

920
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: him I don't want his reaction to be off. So

921
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: the fact that you validated my fear, which I know

922
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 1: I've done to you two plenty of times, and it sucks,

923
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: but that when that happened, I just completely I mean

924
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: we we. I was so upset. I went into the bathroom.

925
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,279
Speaker 1: You started to get me and I started crying. So

926
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:35,040
Speaker 1: I went into the bathroom and was crying, and then

927
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 1: you come in, guns blazing, and it just escalated from there,

928
00:47:39,600 --> 00:47:42,320
Speaker 1: which then you triggered more stuff because now you're elevated

929
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,920
Speaker 1: to a screaming point. And then once then I got

930
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,480
Speaker 1: offline after that because you had already and I was like, man,

931
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 1: I did what I was supposed to do. I told

932
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 1: you what I was feeling, and then you didn't hear me. Michael,

933
00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 1: I want to make sure that you feel heard right now,

934
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:05,120
Speaker 1: and I don't just go on and defensive. Yes, you're right.

935
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: I did not handle it correctly, and ultimately I apologized

936
00:48:10,320 --> 00:48:15,279
Speaker 1: profusely for not addressing the elephant in the room in

937
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,879
Speaker 1: real time, which I wanted to. And what it came

938
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 1: down to was I didn't have the balls in that

939
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: moment because I knew such it was such an impactful trigger.

940
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,160
Speaker 1: I was scared. I was scared to do it. And

941
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: because we've been on such a good run, everything's you know,

942
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: been so great, we've handled things appropriately, so for this situation,

943
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,440
Speaker 1: I was just kind of reverted back to, kind of

944
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: subconsciously of maybe if I don't address it, we won't

945
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: talk about it and everything will be okay, and sweeping

946
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: under the rug, which never worked for us, and most

947
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: couples it doesn't sum it does, but not for us.

948
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: So even when I was trying to convince you to

949
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: talk to me about it and reassuring you that I

950
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:02,320
Speaker 1: was in the place, even I didn't know how it

951
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,959
Speaker 1: was going to react. In my mind, I was like, Okay,

952
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,040
Speaker 1: I can handle this. I can. I can listen to her.

953
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,839
Speaker 1: But then for me, any time I get any opposition

954
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: when I start to speak about it, or speak about

955
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:22,760
Speaker 1: anything that's shameful or triggering or traumatizing for me. If

956
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 1: I think by trying to hear you, I didn't feel heard,

957
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,560
Speaker 1: But that was my mistake. I was trying to feel

958
00:49:28,560 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: heard when you were trying to feel heard, which that's

959
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,320
Speaker 1: not how it works. I have to hear you first.

960
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,120
Speaker 1: I have to validate your feelings. I have to especially

961
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 1: as the perpetrator, I have to empathize with you so

962
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:46,480
Speaker 1: you can feel heard, understood, et cetera. But we've had

963
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 1: this discussion argument many times where I rushed that and

964
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: I try to feel heard immediately, or I tried to

965
00:49:55,200 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: explain something. I tried. Yeah, it was me trying to

966
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: explain something. And then any time you would ask ask

967
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:07,560
Speaker 1: a question. It would trigger me because I'm just trying

968
00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 1: to explain to you about the situation, talk about the trigger,

969
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,839
Speaker 1: and then you'd ask a question about it, and then

970
00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,239
Speaker 1: I'll feel like, yeah, I didn't feel heard. I felt

971
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: like you weren't listening to me. I'll see you own

972
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 1: attacked and then feeling attacked about a shameful situation. Just

973
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: I mean, throw me in a pile of shame. So

974
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: I think it's a good topic to talk about the

975
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,560
Speaker 1: fact that we were both there was the elephant in

976
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,480
Speaker 1: the romans why we couldn't. I mean, I know why

977
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 1: I didn't. I know why you didn't. But at the

978
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 1: same time, it's like I wanted you to step up

979
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,759
Speaker 1: and and say, hey, I'm sorry that this triggered you,

980
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:43,440
Speaker 1: and I know you're probably thinking about it, because of

981
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: course I'm thinking about And that's what I want the

982
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,720
Speaker 1: guys to hear too, if their wives let their girlfriends,

983
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,399
Speaker 1: let them listen to this is the fact that we're

984
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: We don't never forget, so it's always it's always in

985
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:56,760
Speaker 1: the back of our of our minds. So if something

986
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 1: from an old argument or whatever happened that it was

987
00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:04,120
Speaker 1: a break in your relationship, I promise you if that

988
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,560
Speaker 1: situation might come up again, that they're thinking of it,

989
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: so you should address it and say, hey, I'm sorry

990
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 1: if this maybe causes you some pain. Yeah, And it's

991
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:14,320
Speaker 1: just taking responsibility for your actions right in which you

992
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 1: should do in all aspects of life, and that's living

993
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:21,799
Speaker 1: with integrity. And in that moment, I didn't because I

994
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 1: just wanted to run run away from those feelings. I

995
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,960
Speaker 1: mean I could have also said something as well, but

996
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: I was just so. But even even with my therapist,

997
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,040
Speaker 1: I discussed it with him and I defended you were

998
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 1: vouched for you and said, I acknowledge that in this situation,

999
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,359
Speaker 1: it was a hundred percent up to me to bring

1000
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: it up because it was an undiscussed, unprocessed trigger that

1001
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 1: we have not gone through. So because even he said,

1002
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 1: you know, well, you know, she can equally bring it

1003
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: up and express her I was like, in this situation,

1004
00:51:56,880 --> 00:52:00,279
Speaker 1: which you do, But this, this particular situation was up

1005
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 1: to me, and I put that on my shoulders and

1006
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,400
Speaker 1: it just it just was handled poorly and that but

1007
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: that just goes to show like we don't even though

1008
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: we talk about all this stuff on on the show,

1009
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 1: we still go through the show. Yeah, and we do

1010
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: not do it perfectly, which is why, Um, you were

1011
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:20,279
Speaker 1: very mean, so I really mean, but we rebounded faster

1012
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 1: than we should do. So the moral of the story is, um,

1013
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 1: I don't know how to talk, apparently, because when Mike's

1014
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 1: mad at me, he mocks me. And that was our

1015
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:31,360
Speaker 1: big fight and we got triggered and there was a

1016
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:37,360
Speaker 1: few things that were thrown, a few punches. No, I'm kidding,

1017
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: but I did, Like I mean, my I scream so loud,

1018
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: my voice hurt, like it got real rudneck in our

1019
00:52:42,719 --> 00:52:45,239
Speaker 1: hus like my voice I had. I didn't have a

1020
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 1: voice days honey, we still got it like but but honestly,

1021
00:52:51,840 --> 00:52:53,880
Speaker 1: it made me the next day, I was super depressed

1022
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,800
Speaker 1: because it made me so sad that we went back there. Yeah,

1023
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,960
Speaker 1: I agree, I totally agree it was. It was really sad.

1024
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 1: I was very disappointed in both of us that we

1025
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: allow there we go. But no, just in this situation,

1026
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,560
Speaker 1: handling things, especially triggers real time is the that's the

1027
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:16,319
Speaker 1: take away. That's that's what you gotta do when there's

1028
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,200
Speaker 1: when there's stuff like that, there's your less listen less,

1029
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: there's your shoot. This is this episode. Just be titled

1030
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,640
Speaker 1: Janna really can't talk. So there's your lesson listeners, all right,

1031
00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:30,560
Speaker 1: So I'm sure your full bladder is not helping, so

1032
00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 1: we don't get to know the actual instigating moment um. Basically, Mark,

1033
00:53:38,120 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 1: you're such a producer. You're just such a producer. I

1034
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 1: can see that the US Weekly headlines. Now, I just

1035
00:53:44,520 --> 00:53:47,040
Speaker 1: feel like all the listeners are very curious, and of

1036
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:48,759
Speaker 1: course it's your life and it's up to you, but

1037
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 1: I know that's what they're thinking. I don't even know

1038
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,120
Speaker 1: how to say in a way to scoot around it.

1039
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 1: There was a sexual something sexual that Mike had done

1040
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:04,480
Speaker 1: actually with someone else. Oh wow, that we never really

1041
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: discussed and we something happened and then that yeah, so yeah,

1042
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 1: so it was very hard. It was hard. It was

1043
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 1: a tough It was a tough pill to swallow. And

1044
00:54:15,239 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 1: so it was a flashback to that memory of knowing

1045
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: that they did something like that. So it was it

1046
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 1: was tough. Wow, thanks for asking, Mark, what's going into

1047
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:29,960
Speaker 1: a spot? Well, I have an email which probably isn't

1048
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:33,840
Speaker 1: gonna help things, to be honest, as I prereate it.

1049
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 1: It's an anonymous email. My husband unfortunately had an affair

1050
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: and we are three months post me finding out. When

1051
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: I found out, it took off my wedding ring, it

1052
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 1: took it out all of the wedding pictures. As we

1053
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 1: are in marriage counseling, we've decided to move forward, but

1054
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 1: I'm struggling putting my wedding rings back on and putting

1055
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 1: out wedding pictures back up. I feel like both are

1056
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 1: tainted at this point. How did you overcome the feelings

1057
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: associated with those and be able to put the rings

1058
00:54:57,040 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 1: back on and the pictures back up? So we have

1059
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: not officially put the pictures back up. It has been

1060
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 1: how many years post coming on five years? Four years? No, no, baby,

1061
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:16,920
Speaker 1: I'm saying at the infidelity and a half. So it's

1062
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,800
Speaker 1: been two and a half years post discovery and we

1063
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:24,640
Speaker 1: have still not hung our wedding photos up. There are

1064
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 1: still photos that I have hard time looking at from

1065
00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:33,600
Speaker 1: our past because it triggers me to what was going

1066
00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: on in that moment. Having said all that, when we

1067
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 1: packed up our stuff in Nashville, I saw the bin

1068
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,200
Speaker 1: that I threw all of the pictures in, all of

1069
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 1: our wedding photos, all the knickknacks that were for us,

1070
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: our wedding book, um, photos of when I was pregnant.

1071
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 1: I mean, just so many things that I said, I

1072
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,440
Speaker 1: will never be able to look again, look at again.

1073
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,760
Speaker 1: You stole all those memories for me, and I yelled

1074
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 1: at him so much for that, said, you took away

1075
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: this from me, you took away that, And now I

1076
00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:05,440
Speaker 1: can't look back at this photo and be happy. But

1077
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 1: it is. It took two years to really now be

1078
00:56:11,160 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 1: able to go back and look at it and say, Okay,

1079
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,799
Speaker 1: those memories were still my memories. I still was there

1080
00:56:17,920 --> 00:56:21,719
Speaker 1: and I was present, not saying you weren't present, but

1081
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: it was a different version of present. I'm how do

1082
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: I say that? It's it's not that you weren't present,

1083
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:30,840
Speaker 1: you weren't fully there, But it doesn't mean that you

1084
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 1: can take away those memories from me. So I shouldn't

1085
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 1: allow you to take those memories away from me. So

1086
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 1: for the listener that wrote, don't let him have hold

1087
00:56:40,080 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: that much power over those memories for you. But it

1088
00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:49,160
Speaker 1: takes time. Again, I am, I want to I don't

1089
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 1: you know. I don't even know if I want to

1090
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,439
Speaker 1: hang our wedding photos in our new house. I don't know. Yeah,

1091
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,600
Speaker 1: that's something. So for her, it's been three months, you said, Mark,

1092
00:56:57,480 --> 00:57:00,120
Speaker 1: which is and I'm on two and a half. I

1093
00:57:00,120 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 1: still don't even know if our new house will even

1094
00:57:01,960 --> 00:57:05,719
Speaker 1: put that up there, because in all honesty, like we've

1095
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 1: had some photos from like you know, the the pregnancy

1096
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,759
Speaker 1: shoot and all that that I love, like the big

1097
00:57:11,800 --> 00:57:14,839
Speaker 1: canvas when you had of us bone up for me,

1098
00:57:14,920 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: I'd rather have those two. And we put up our

1099
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 1: when we renewed. So this here's what I will say

1100
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 1: for the photos too. We renewed our vows in Hawaii,

1101
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: so we have that photo up. So it's putting the

1102
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 1: photos up that are new and real, and in time

1103
00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 1: I hope we can hang one of our old photos

1104
00:57:33,520 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, look how far we've come,

1105
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,560
Speaker 1: and you can still be proud of the photo that's there.

1106
00:57:37,680 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 1: And honestly makes me sad just because I loved our

1107
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 1: wedding photos were beautiful. They're beautiful, it was perfect, and

1108
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: it makes me sad too to think about having to

1109
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 1: be hesitant and reluctant to even look at those photos

1110
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:55,800
Speaker 1: and essentially tainted. Yeah, and I think once we are

1111
00:57:55,840 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 1: to that place where we can both have that mentality

1112
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 1: and look at them and not think about where we

1113
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:06,040
Speaker 1: were then, but appreciate where we are now. Then when

1114
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 1: we're to that point, maybe we can put them up.

1115
00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:10,600
Speaker 1: And I think too, we did something that might help

1116
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,560
Speaker 1: you guys as well as we grieved. There was a

1117
00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 1: box of photos and I said, oh no, no, it

1118
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 1: was the I made you a year is our year

1119
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,120
Speaker 1: anniversary gift. I gave him a year anniversary gift of

1120
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:23,480
Speaker 1: all the photos of the year and at the very

1121
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 1: end and I said, I can't wait to see what

1122
00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:27,160
Speaker 1: next year holds. And I was like, well, and I

1123
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 1: came to you and when we're moving out of our

1124
00:58:30,920 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: former national house, and we sat down and we looked

1125
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 1: through it all and we grieved. Yeah, and I'm we

1126
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:37,280
Speaker 1: might have to do you might have to do that

1127
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 1: with the wedding photos. We might have to do that again.

1128
00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 1: And honestly I want to because I want to be

1129
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 1: able to hang those photos and not just think of

1130
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: that so hopefully. And but I will say to you,

1131
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,040
Speaker 1: you are three months in, give yourself time. Yeah, they

1132
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:50,040
Speaker 1: don't don't. You shouldn't even be thinking about that. And

1133
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 1: and too, I did, so you can't say that because

1134
00:58:52,240 --> 00:58:54,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I still, I mean, I was so upset

1135
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 1: about that, like you ruin those these photos from me,

1136
00:58:57,120 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: I'm saying, don't think about putting the pig like you know,

1137
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 1: to worry about putting the pictures up right now, or

1138
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 1: your your wedding band or your wedding ring. I understand

1139
00:59:04,400 --> 00:59:06,040
Speaker 1: that's what you want to think of, because it ruined

1140
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: all of those things. Which also Jane and I both

1141
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 1: got new I got a new engagement. I would not

1142
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:13,360
Speaker 1: put that ring back on my finger. I said, I

1143
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: don't want it. I don't want this ring ever on

1144
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:19,080
Speaker 1: my finger. I got a new band, So that way

1145
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,919
Speaker 1: there aren't those you don't look down and the ring,

1146
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:26,760
Speaker 1: the symbol isn't tainted. So for us that was important.

1147
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,000
Speaker 1: And even if I says, I don't even care about

1148
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 1: what it is, I just want I will not put

1149
00:59:31,720 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 1: this back on my finger and said, all right, me neither.

1150
00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 1: So I am. That's really good advice for the anonymous

1151
00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:40,200
Speaker 1: emailer that if you're going to recommit to yourself, post

1152
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: things and where things that represents the new commitment that

1153
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:49,320
Speaker 1: you're making. Wow, that's great. Uh. Jericha emails that don't

1154
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,480
Speaker 1: kiss my baby. It's the subject line. So I'm newly pregnant,

1155
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 1: but I automatically know not to kiss someone's newborn baby.

1156
00:59:55,080 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 1: I don't think it's appropriate at all to begin with.

1157
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 1: But effort's horror stories about babies and people kiss them.

1158
01:00:00,760 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 1: How do you not be rude? But make sure, hey,

1159
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:06,560
Speaker 1: don't kiss my baby. If anyone puts their lips near

1160
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:10,840
Speaker 1: Jason's lips, I'm gonna smack him. I don't like, I

1161
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 1: don't want people kissing. Well, this so germs too, and

1162
01:00:14,560 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 1: the baby. Someone I forgot to tell you this. We

1163
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 1: were at Disneyland watching the parade. Someone recognized Jolie and

1164
01:00:21,920 --> 01:00:23,640
Speaker 1: gave her a hug, and I was like you, I

1165
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,960
Speaker 1: don't even know you. And all the girls we were

1166
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,400
Speaker 1: just like, got so upset. You're just not telling me this.

1167
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 1: I totally forget. Well, there's a lot going on that day,

1168
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,520
Speaker 1: like fifteen hours of Disneyland, was a lot of the toddlers.

1169
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:35,640
Speaker 1: So when I came home, I didn't want to talk

1170
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 1: to anybody. So but no, yeah, it was it's like,

1171
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:43,360
Speaker 1: if you if you're a stranger, don't don't touch my child.

1172
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:46,600
Speaker 1: But then if it's family, I still don't really want.

1173
01:00:46,840 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 1: I mean, yes, you can kiss the baby, but don't.

1174
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: Lips are totally off the subject. I think It's one

1175
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:55,120
Speaker 1: of those things that we even have to remind ourselves

1176
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:59,080
Speaker 1: with Jace where his parents, well, we say goes, so

1177
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 1: try to have that kind of a whole mentality, be like, look, no,

1178
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:06,040
Speaker 1: don't kiss my baby. The whole faces off limits. Absolutely,

1179
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:09,880
Speaker 1: But come on, Grandma fine, I think grandma is an

1180
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 1: aunt because the only babies I've ever excuse me, only

1181
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 1: Grandma's and when you're taking care of them, you kiss

1182
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 1: their cheek. Yeah. I mean, I'm like, I think if

1183
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 1: you're very close family, that's the only or like a

1184
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 1: like a best friend, that's fine, but like a random friend,

1185
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,520
Speaker 1: even dicey on the friends. I mean, I let's Sarah

1186
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 1: kiss Sarah kiss his pread? Yeah yeah, but I mean

1187
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:37,400
Speaker 1: if it was a guess for me, if it was anybody,

1188
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:40,880
Speaker 1: but like my sister is pregnant, that'll be my first nephew,

1189
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 1: my first niece and nephew. Excuse me, I'm sorry, this

1190
01:01:44,440 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: is a great topic to bring up. I do not

1191
01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 1: think that you think my niece and nephew in mouth.

1192
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:56,080
Speaker 1: So he actually does have a niece and nephew my

1193
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 1: brother's kids. But this is my point exactly. You do

1194
01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 1: not think of that. You though, no, you don't clearly

1195
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 1: because this is my first nephew. They're not babies. It

1196
01:02:06,960 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: doesn't it Okay, Roy, I'm not going to call you

1197
01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: uncle anymore. But oh, Mike, you're an idiot. Idiot walked

1198
01:02:18,920 --> 01:02:21,520
Speaker 1: right into that way. No, I do consider a Van

1199
01:02:21,560 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 1: Dylan my niece and nephew. I do. They're No, they're

1200
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: twelve and thirty guys, so maybe not right. All I'm

1201
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,280
Speaker 1: saying my point, your sister, Yes, you're new, your your

1202
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 1: first ever, our first. I have one nephew, thinking our

1203
01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 1: new nephew like him, I would kiss, but a friend's

1204
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: baby even or anybody else's I wouldn't like nobody else's.

1205
01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 1: I would do it if it was if Steven was

1206
01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:51,880
Speaker 1: just now having a Van Dylan. Yes, I would kiss

1207
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,560
Speaker 1: them because I am their uncle and I consider them

1208
01:02:54,560 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 1: my niece and nephew. But when I met him there

1209
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 1: seven and eight, and they already have like three uncles

1210
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: before you, so it's right, I mean, for all the cares.

1211
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 1: And Jeanne has got another uncle here, we're not calling

1212
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:10,720
Speaker 1: him uncle. I think like if I saw James, I don't.

1213
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna hold Jay seven. That's like what unless

1214
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 1: you were like, hey, can you, but if you kiss him,

1215
01:03:16,520 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 1: you're right, I'd like permission, but like my nieces, yeah,

1216
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:24,160
Speaker 1: I think there's like, that's the line your friend has

1217
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: no business like up, I would kiss my friend. I

1218
01:03:29,480 --> 01:03:33,680
Speaker 1: kissed Davy. Come on, it's my best friends baby. I

1219
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:37,720
Speaker 1: wouldn't want kiss him where the cheek. And yeah, I

1220
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 1: would never do lips. I mean I like make out

1221
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:44,160
Speaker 1: with my baby, but I always try to see I

1222
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:46,080
Speaker 1: know I was when he's hungry because when kiss him,

1223
01:03:46,080 --> 01:03:49,400
Speaker 1: he starts sucking on my upper lip. That's how we

1224
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:53,920
Speaker 1: tested he's hungry, seedy. But yeah, ligious lips are off

1225
01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 1: off off limits. So yeah, we don't blame you. Okay,

1226
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:59,560
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1238
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 1: Mike was eating? Oh yeah, Michael, what was the donut

1239
01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:34,200
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1240
01:04:34,240 --> 01:04:38,400
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1241
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:40,400
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1242
01:04:40,440 --> 01:04:43,400
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1243
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: an Afro Donuts for a taste. It's delicious. Okay, seriously though,

1244
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:51,240
Speaker 1: Like I have to pee like I'm starting, I need

1245
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,320
Speaker 1: to be now crowning. I don't know, I think I'm starting.

1246
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 1: I'm starting to cramp to like I don't know if

1247
01:04:57,080 --> 01:04:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be able to walk, Like I think I

1248
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 1: need a diaper, duck walk, duck walk A cat bit

1249
01:05:02,920 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 1: are up there to helping him out out? Alright, guys,

1250
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:08,400
Speaker 1: love you, Let's U wine down next week together. By

1251
01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 1: h