Speaker 1: Scotty Kurtie b hit me because boy, oh boy, I
Speaker 1: need a laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2: I thought about doing something funny, right, having a headline
Speaker 2: that's funny, That's a classic Banana's way to start an episode.
Speaker 2: But I can't because I'm so obsessed with this man
Speaker 2: and there's nothing there's nothing funny about this until we
Speaker 2: get into the details. But I am gonna tell you
Speaker 2: all about Adolph Sachs, the inventor of the saxophone.
Speaker 1: I did not know that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I want a whole podcast, like a multi
Speaker 2: serious episode podcast about this man. He is amazing.
Speaker 1: Well, it's time to toot our own horns, because this
Speaker 1: is gonna be just an instrumental to your life episode
Speaker 1: of the bananas Pot Cast.
Speaker 3: Would you Billiant Pieces, Birthday, John Bananasa.
Speaker 2: Guys, Goals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I am
Speaker 2: kurb Brown Older.
Speaker 1: I am Banana Boy number two. Scotti landis you know
Speaker 1: for the next fifty one minutes, don't worry about the world,
Speaker 1: don't worry about anything except having a great time for
Speaker 1: fifty minutes and thirty seconds with the Banana Boys. We're
Speaker 1: here to ease you through the cruel existence that we're
Speaker 1: currently experiencing.
Speaker 2: I am so excited just to be here in a
Speaker 2: solo with you. We haven't done one in a very
Speaker 2: long time. We just had a slew of guests.
Speaker 1: We a great guess, all wonderful, each better than the last,
Speaker 1: and thank you, and keep a recommending guests to us too.
Speaker 1: You'd be surprised we reach out to pretty much all
Speaker 1: of them. People are very busy, they have their own lives,
Speaker 1: they have certain windows of time where they can record things,
Speaker 1: and there are a lot of people are very bad
Speaker 1: at emailing, so and.
Speaker 2: A lot of people hear the name of the podcast
Speaker 2: and think that sounds dumb, and we're like, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's dumb on purpose.
Speaker 1: That's right, We're dumb on purpose. Speaking of which, Kurtie
Speaker 1: B and I have a show in Phoenix on March
Speaker 1: twenty ninth at three pm that Stand Up Live, which
Speaker 1: is a very fun place to perform.
Speaker 2: Huge, Huge Phoenix. You gotta show up because this place
Speaker 2: is gigantic. If we don't have it at least three
Speaker 2: quarters full, it's going to feel like an empty cavern.
Speaker 1: Well I'm going hard either way, and remember to bring
Speaker 1: an idea.
Speaker 2: You're gonna be drinking. Then you're gonna be dripping back right.
Speaker 1: Off the wagon, I think. So it's been a it's
Speaker 1: been a fun adventure. But it'll be fun to have
Speaker 1: a couple of daytime BEVs with the ban animals.
Speaker 2: Oh hell yeah.
Speaker 1: But yeah, bring your confessions. We put a confessions box
Speaker 1: out in the lobby, so when you come in, there'll
Speaker 1: be a box that literally says Banana's Confessions on it.
Speaker 1: We'll have index cards. Right, you're steaming hot but true
Speaker 1: confessions and be a part of the Bananas Live Show.
Speaker 2: And Cincinnati, Cincinnati. I have never been to Cincinnati in
Speaker 2: my entire life. I realized that when I had to Google,
Speaker 2: when I had to look at it spelling five times
Speaker 2: and be like, that's out spelled. Is that really how
Speaker 2: Cincinnati is spelled? So I will be at the Commonwealth Sanctuary,
Speaker 2: which is actually in Kentucky, but I guess I didn't
Speaker 2: even know this. Cincinnati is part borders Kentucky as well. Sure,
Speaker 2: so it's right over the river, I'm assuming, and it's
Speaker 2: gonna be a great show. And that's May ninth, so
Speaker 2: I'm just focusing on that one. Of course, there's Chicago,
Speaker 2: there's Asbury Park, too, but May ninth, Cincinnati. Come on,
Speaker 2: let's do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on Ohio show, CURTI be you care. So
Speaker 1: then the Banana Boys can follow suit and do an
Speaker 1: Ohio show in twenty twenty five. Yeah, oh man, it's
Speaker 1: eighty degrees today.
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't. I don't trust it, Scottie, I
Speaker 2: don't trust a February eighty degree day. It makes me
Speaker 2: slightly uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. But I think after we record this,
Speaker 1: you know, once in a lifetime very special episode of Bananas,
Speaker 1: I'll probably take a long walk, like I'm talking like
Speaker 1: a three hour just wander. Oh, look at foliage. Wait,
Speaker 1: I like that fauna. It's gonna be nice.
Speaker 2: I have my I I think I maybe I'm gonna
Speaker 2: try and just blast some quads. I'm gonna work out
Speaker 2: after this. But my I'm I've been so stressed. The
Speaker 2: past ten days have been the most stressful ten days,
Speaker 2: and like the last like it's just basically like last
Speaker 2: week and the week I was traveling NonStop. I took
Speaker 2: you were I took five flights in six days, so
Speaker 2: that I had one day that I didn't fly out
Speaker 2: of like a whole week almost and then immediately came
Speaker 2: back and we had to put together this pitch in
Speaker 2: three days two and a half days. And we put
Speaker 2: a whole pitch together in two and a half days,
Speaker 2: Lauren and I and then I'm very happy.
Speaker 1: With it, you know.
Speaker 2: But you know, I feel like it's par for the
Speaker 2: course for Scotty putting a pitch together in two and
Speaker 2: a half days.
Speaker 1: Sure, but I don't have anything going on. You have
Speaker 1: a very full and complicated life. Also, happy birthday. You
Speaker 1: were on the road for your birthday.
Speaker 2: But first time looked really nice. First time on the
Speaker 2: road for my birthday. Oh, actually, I think in like
Speaker 2: thirteen years I was on the road in Minneapolis for
Speaker 2: my birthday, maybe in like two thousand and twelve or something.
Speaker 2: But first time on the road for a long time,
Speaker 2: and first time since I probably was seventeen or eighteen
Speaker 2: that I wasn't drinking on my birthday.
Speaker 1: Yes, but you did get a cake and you did
Speaker 1: do two big ass shows.
Speaker 2: Where were you York or toront I was into Vancouver.
Speaker 1: Vancouver Ooh nice? Yeah, coud You and I hung out
Speaker 1: in Oakland and had a wonderful time. You were so
Speaker 1: funny that theater was gorge that Oakland.
Speaker 2: My goodness, God, damn Oakland killed theater. Comeil killed New
Speaker 2: Hours great?
Speaker 1: Right, New Hours great? Molly and I drove up. Did
Speaker 1: you really not know I was coming up?
Speaker 2: I mean no, I didn't. No, I didn't know at all. No, Kumel.
Speaker 2: When I got there was like, uh, Molly and scotty'll
Speaker 2: be here soon.
Speaker 1: I was like, what do you what? Yeah, we drove up.
Speaker 1: We did a little road trip and uh, it was wonderful.
Speaker 1: Oakland was great. There. There was a very nice woman
Speaker 1: named Sharene who brought Comeil Pakistani food from across the street.
Speaker 1: And it's the only food I ate that day. Looking back,
Speaker 1: I woke up the next morning, I was like, all
Speaker 1: I had was that delicious Pakistani food, So thank you?
Speaker 2: Are you kidding? That's all you ate all day long?
Speaker 1: Did you drop?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: We just kept we were hauling, but to get up there,
Speaker 1: to make sure we were there ahead of the show
Speaker 1: and check our hotel and get there. It's fun.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm happy you were there.
Speaker 1: It was great. I was lovely to see you kill
Speaker 1: it in front of so many lovely people. I'm sure
Speaker 1: there have been animals in that crowd.
Speaker 2: Here's Adolph Sachs, Dude, this is I mean, I got
Speaker 2: this off of the depths of Wikipedia, which is an
Speaker 2: Instagram page you should often follow heavy, but don't even
Speaker 2: follow it because I get too many stories off of it.
Speaker 1: It's so great.
Speaker 2: This is just I'm just going to be reading this
Speaker 2: man's Wikipedia page to you, okay. And it is so
Speaker 2: it's so filled with amazing things, all right. So Antoine
Speaker 2: Joseph Adolph was I guess his nickname sas. He was
Speaker 2: a Frenchman. He lived from eighteen fourteen to eighteen ninety four.
Speaker 2: I guess, sorry, he wasn't French. He was a Belgian
Speaker 2: inventor and musician. He invented the saxophone in the early
Speaker 2: eighteen forties. Early life. He was born eighteen fourteen in
Speaker 2: what is now Belgium. His parents were, I'm gonna, you know,
Speaker 2: jump aside.
Speaker 1: Long ago for the saxophone. I would have guessed it
Speaker 1: was from the fourteen hundreds.
Speaker 2: Agreed, agreed, well, the saxophone. I don't know. I feel
Speaker 2: like the saxophone feels like a more modern instrument, but
Speaker 2: you couldn't exactly I couldn't exactly put my finger on
Speaker 2: why maybe only because it's like in Lady in Red.
Speaker 1: Maybe because it's in Lady in the Red, Lady in Red,
Speaker 1: that Lady in Red? Is it even in that? I
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 2: Here it is so he was His parents were instrument makers,
Speaker 2: which is awesome in the fact that there are no
Speaker 2: more instrument makers people inventing instruments. Like I feel like
Speaker 2: we got all the instruments and now we're just playing
Speaker 2: with them, you know, and the only the only things
Speaker 2: that are getting invented are like some insane like I
Speaker 2: taught this plant to play a synthesizer, you know, like
Speaker 2: that sort of instrument.
Speaker 1: Good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, it sounds like that the whole time. So
Speaker 2: here it is Sacks. This is little baby Sacks. Sacks.
Speaker 2: It's funny to call him Sacks too. I mean, Sacks
Speaker 2: faced many brushes with death. This is second paragraph, the
Speaker 2: second paragraph of this man's life. Right as a child,
Speaker 2: he once fell from a height of three floors, hit
Speaker 2: his head on a stone, and was believed dead. At
Speaker 2: the age of three, he drank a bowl full of
Speaker 2: acidic water, mistaking it for milk, and later swallowed a pin.
Speaker 2: He received serious burns from a gunpowder explosion and once
Speaker 2: fell into a hot cast iron frying pan, burning his
Speaker 2: side go. Several times he avoided accidental poisoning and asphyxiation
Speaker 2: from sleeping in a room where varnish furniture was drying.
Speaker 2: Another time, young Sacks was struck on the head by
Speaker 2: a cobblestone and fell into a river, almost dying. If
Speaker 2: you are wondering what it takes, if you're wondering if
Speaker 2: you have what it takes to invent the saxophone, this
Speaker 2: is what you need to go through. You need to
Speaker 2: almost die eight times before the age of eleven. All right, Yes,
Speaker 2: his mother once said that quote, He's a child condemned
Speaker 2: to misfortune. He won't live. Whoa wow to have that
Speaker 2: in print, that means she said it to someone. Of note,
Speaker 2: that wasn't just something she said to nobody.
Speaker 1: And also think of medicine back then, in like hospitalists,
Speaker 1: probably just some country doctor just kept getting called to
Speaker 1: have to like the boy who wouldn't die, and they're like,
Speaker 1: here you go patch him up.
Speaker 2: His mother Okay, so his neighbors called him little Sax
Speaker 2: the ghost. So after leaving the Royal Conservatory of Brussels,
Speaker 2: sax Beyond experiment with new instrument designs while his parents
Speaker 2: continued their business of making conventional instruments. Sacks first important
Speaker 2: invent was an improvement in the bass clarinet. Then he
Speaker 2: began working on valved bugles and paris in eighteen forty two.
Speaker 2: Of course it's a classic. It's a classic lateral valve
Speaker 2: fugle move. While he did not invent the systrument, his
Speaker 2: examples were much more successful than those of his rivals
Speaker 2: and became known as sax horns. Hector Billios was enamored
Speaker 2: of these blah blah blah. Then he invented something called
Speaker 2: a fugal horn. Today, sax horns are sometimes used in
Speaker 2: concert bands, that's interesting, marching bands and orchestras. The sax
Speaker 2: horn also laid the groundwork for the more modern euphonium.
Speaker 1: I know about that one, I did not.
Speaker 2: The sax also developed the saxotromba family of valved brass
Speaker 2: instruments with narrower bore than the sax horns in eighteen
Speaker 2: forty five, but they only survived briefly. Just like him
Speaker 2: as a child, the use of sax horns spread rapidly.
Speaker 2: The sax horn valves were accepted as state of the
Speaker 2: art in their time and remain largely unchanged today. That's
Speaker 2: pretty surprising.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bah bah.
Speaker 2: In the period around eighteen forty he invented the clarinet boudon,
Speaker 2: which is the old the contrabass contra bass clarinet.
Speaker 1: Is what we call it now, sure it all the time.
Speaker 2: And then in eighteen forty six, Sacks of designed saxophones,
Speaker 2: ranging from the soprano to the subcontrabass, although not all
Speaker 2: were built, so he designed them. So he made the saxophone.
Speaker 2: Here's here's where it gets weird again. During the Crimean
Speaker 2: War eighteen fifty three to eighteen fifty six, Sacks made
Speaker 2: two more inventions. First, he designed the saxo tonaire A.
Speaker 1: I was just getting carried away, just a hamster shooter.
Speaker 2: He can't wait. A massive locomotive powered origin.
Speaker 1: Which was.
Speaker 2: Which was supposed to be so loud as to be
Speaker 2: heard across all of Paris at once. Imagine playing the
Speaker 2: locomotive powered organ. The person who plays it is death.
Speaker 2: By the time they're doud plague it. It could be
Speaker 2: heard across all of Paris. The second was developed in
Speaker 2: response to the crimean Wars sage of Sevistpool, where the
Speaker 2: French military and its allies were locked in a destructive conflict.
Speaker 2: As a potential solution to such lengthy sieges, Saxon thus
Speaker 2: designed the Saxocannon, a giant cannon whose half ton round
Speaker 2: shots would be powerful enough to completely destroy a quote
Speaker 2: average sized city. He's making the cannons. He's oh, and
Speaker 2: then and then he died.
Speaker 1: Weared that his instrument can entertain Paris, but this weapon
Speaker 1: canoni blow up half of an average sized city.
Speaker 2: And I'm assuming that it is shaped as a giant saxophone.
Speaker 1: Or i at least launched from a giant saxophone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: just a big bellows on one end, and then it
Speaker 1: just goes down and ski jumps out of it.
Speaker 2: And I'm imagining that the locomotive powered organ looks like
Speaker 2: an organ that doctor Seuss would invent, you know, And
Speaker 2: this is this is the I can't even.
Speaker 1: Believe this detail.
Speaker 2: You know, how you play? Have you ever played a saxophone?
Speaker 2: You ever played any woodwind instruments?
Speaker 1: This is my first attempt. Yes, I played it for
Speaker 1: a month or something and was terrible at it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I played saxophone for like a year
Speaker 2: or two.
Speaker 1: Equally terrible Sex suffered.
Speaker 2: From lip cancer between eighteen fifty three and eighteen fifty eight,
Speaker 2: but made a full recovery. What the guy who needs
Speaker 2: his lips to play all of his instruments and then
Speaker 2: he beat it five years later. I mean, this guy
Speaker 2: cannot die. No, And then he died and then listened
Speaker 2: to this, listen to this. In eighteen ninety four, he
Speaker 2: died of pneumonia in Paris, in pop tea, in poverty.
Speaker 1: I don't want to disparage the dead, but I have
Speaker 1: a feeling if he had all that saxophone money, he
Speaker 1: must have blown it on opium and sex workers.
Speaker 2: I think we definitely, I mean, like, first off, that's
Speaker 2: why we need to have a multipart podcast about him.
Speaker 2: Here's the other instruments. He invented scotti, saxotromba, which looks crazy,
Speaker 2: sax horn which looks fine, sax tuba.
Speaker 1: That's gotta sound so funny and be so heavy.
Speaker 2: It is from the picture I believe it to be
Speaker 2: if you put it on the ground, I believe it
Speaker 2: to be eight feet tall. And then a person puts
Speaker 2: it over their shoulders and then has it around, it
Speaker 2: circles their body and then just shoots out the top.
Speaker 2: And then a six piston trombone. This is the crazy
Speaker 2: that looks doctor Susie. So imagine a trombone. Okay, but
Speaker 2: then on the a right angle down from it. Okay,
Speaker 2: you then have six more of those.
Speaker 1: Slides, a vertical bone. That's cool. Yeah, and then the
Speaker 1: only I had more arms to play it, you know,
Speaker 1: you just wanna it seems like a word.
Speaker 2: I don't understand how you would play it. And then
Speaker 2: a bass sax horn, which looks just like somebody took
Speaker 2: like a tube and just crumpled it up and then
Speaker 2: threw it on the ground.
Speaker 1: So this is why he was putting all his money
Speaker 1: back into failed instruments instead. If he didn't, he should
Speaker 1: just ridden the saxophone into the history books.
Speaker 2: I know, but we know his nad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, damn, that's a really good that's a really good
Speaker 1: educational moment for this podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes, it is an educational podcast, so that's why we
Speaker 2: have these.
Speaker 1: I like a saxophone, but yeah, I was terrible at
Speaker 1: playing it. I didn't understand why there were so many
Speaker 1: buttons and valves. I was fine it making and I
Speaker 1: was finally blowing on that saxophone and getting a sound
Speaker 1: to come out of it. But I had no idea
Speaker 1: what notes I was playing, but it was It's a
Speaker 1: stylish looking instrument. I have to say, like I was watching,
Speaker 1: I was. I did some traveling last year. I was
Speaker 1: in Venice, Italy, and there's yeah, I think in Saint
Speaker 1: Catherine Square they have the thing where you sit outside
Speaker 1: and every restaurant or ice cream place has its own
Speaker 1: house band on a stage outside and they take turns
Speaker 1: playing standards and famous Italian songs and stuff, and then
Speaker 1: so one to play for twenty minutes, and you have
Speaker 1: a couple of drinks, and then two shops down their
Speaker 1: band plays, and then across the thing their band plays,
Speaker 1: and you got tourists just walk around. But if you
Speaker 1: take a seat, you kind of get to see one
Speaker 1: group play I don't know, four or five songs if
Speaker 1: you stay for a couple hours. And I was blown
Speaker 1: away by the clarinet player. My guy, I was like,
Speaker 1: I didn't know that's what clarinet sounded like in small
Speaker 1: instrumental bands. Oh my big takeaway from Italy. I'm a
Speaker 1: clear net guy and I didn't know that great instrument.
Speaker 2: It is a great instrument, isn't it. It's like a
Speaker 2: little it's like a higher pitch saxophone. It feels like
Speaker 2: I think that's what it sounded like, right, yeah, thinking
Speaker 2: of the right thing.
Speaker 1: Well it's a little maybe no, not higher pitch. Yeah, oh,
Speaker 1: I would say like a breathier God, it's the right
Speaker 1: way to say it. It's a it's like a warmer,
Speaker 1: less squeaky sound.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, great, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Mace one, but I mean, God, bless the saxophone. It's
Speaker 1: a cool instrument. And if you if you're at a
Speaker 1: wedding and then somebody in the wedding band pulls out
Speaker 1: that sax and starts warming up, you know that band's
Speaker 1: going to be rocking. Yep.
Speaker 2: And I have I have a I have a famous
Speaker 2: bit where I ship on the saxophone and I want
Speaker 2: to announce that it was invented, invented outrage. I don't
Speaker 2: really mind the saxophone that much.
Speaker 1: It's good to clear that up because we don't need
Speaker 1: protesters outside.
Speaker 2: I don't want any show because sometimes we get a
Speaker 2: little controversial here. M all right, Scottie, get us one
Speaker 2: for you know.
Speaker 1: I have another long one too about an equally Uh,
Speaker 1: it's a long article, but this guy also had grand visions.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: Let's do it.
Speaker 1: Ranch On, come on, Yo sent this in thank you Rich.
Speaker 2: We should call this episode grand Visions of stupidity.
Speaker 1: Okay, grand Visions of stupid men. And you could send
Speaker 1: your stories into The Bananas Podcast on Instagram just DM
Speaker 1: too a DMS those links. We love those links. Or
Speaker 1: you can also email us at the Bananas Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. We check it a little less often,
Speaker 1: but we do check it. Wisconsin kayaker charged after official
Speaker 1: say he faked his own death and fled to Eastern Europe. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is a good one. This one babbles in the
Speaker 1: murder banana territory.
Speaker 2: It's always interesting when someone is just identified as kayaker.
Speaker 2: A piece of information about this guy. That's all he does,
Speaker 2: that's his whole personality. He's a kayaker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, did they check the rivers of Eastern Europe? Maybe
Speaker 1: they're very nice there.
Speaker 2: And we're talking about the flight discount website.
Speaker 1: This was on CNN dot com, which is sort of
Speaker 1: a light discount website written by three people. Obviously, Kurt,
Speaker 1: you can't tackle a Wisconsin kayaker with just one set
Speaker 1: of thinkies.
Speaker 2: We got one person on the ground, we got one
Speaker 2: person in the water, we got one person behind the keys.
Speaker 1: Karina Suey, Amanda Musa, and Taylor Romine. Way to go, gals,
Speaker 1: you really knock this one out of the park. Green
Speaker 1: Lake County, Wisconsin. This one's got more twist and turns
Speaker 1: than a saxophone. Kurt all Right Right, a Wisconsin man
Speaker 1: who officials say faked his own death and fled to
Speaker 1: eastern Europe, was charged with misdemeanor count of obstructing an
Speaker 1: officer Wednesday after he turned himself back into authorities. Ryan Borgwart,
Speaker 1: what a name?
Speaker 2: Bordwart spell borg bo rg.
Speaker 1: War dt.
Speaker 2: It got even better.
Speaker 1: It's a d Ryan Borgwart. I mean, you gotta love
Speaker 1: somebody to marry him and be like I might be
Speaker 1: become missus Borgwart. That's brutal. Ryan Borgwart, who was reported
Speaker 1: missing in August, flew back to the United States willingly,
Speaker 1: arriving on Tuesday, said Greenlink County Sheriff Mark Podole. Sheriff Poldole,
Speaker 1: who remained tight lipped on why the man left his
Speaker 1: wife and three children by allegedly staging a kayaking accident
Speaker 1: where where he has been for the past four months.
Speaker 1: In addition, in addition.
Speaker 2: To giving his wife and children the name Borgwart, he
Speaker 2: then abandons.
Speaker 1: Them, bingo, oh, I do not like Borgwart. We don't
Speaker 1: like this man. He came back on his own, Sheriff
Speaker 1: Poe Dole said during a news conference. When asked by
Speaker 1: media why Borgwart decided return, Podule added his family. I guess.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm assuming that was his tone when he
Speaker 1: said it, But that is.
Speaker 2: That is why you need three reporters. You gotta get
Speaker 2: that kind of quote.
Speaker 1: So Borgwart's wife filed repetition for legal separation on Thursday. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess, so that's a wise move. In Wisconsin, a
Speaker 1: legal separation does not end a marriage on like a divorce,
Speaker 1: but allows the court to rule in the same issues
Speaker 1: of an upcoming divorce proceeding.
Speaker 2: I wonder what her last name is, because if her
Speaker 2: last if they have a hyphen ended last name, and
Speaker 2: her last name is like Alice.
Speaker 1: Targlart Polywalk Borgwart Polywalk. Nice to meet you, Alice. You
Speaker 1: can call me Alice BP. So yeah, Borgwart's wife is
Speaker 1: requesting sole legal cut of their three teenage children. I
Speaker 1: think so. Yeah. I think that seems like we should
Speaker 1: granted that, and claimed that the twenty two marriage was
Speaker 1: irretrievably broken. I can understand that too. Yep. So here's
Speaker 1: what happened. I'm gonna skip a bunch of this stuff,
Speaker 1: Poldole Sheriff. Podole declined to share the details of Borgwart's
Speaker 1: time away and whether he had been in touch with
Speaker 1: his family. The investigation involved a number of state and
Speaker 1: federal agencies, including the FBI and Homeland Security. Borgwart, who's
Speaker 1: forty five years old, was reported missing August twelfth after
Speaker 1: failing to return from a fishing trip on Green Lake,
Speaker 1: about an hour north of his home in Watertown, Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: For seven weeks. Seven weeks in the Green Lake County
Speaker 1: Sheriff's office search for Borgwart's body with help of trained volunteers,
Speaker 1: but only found the man's kayak, a tackle box containing
Speaker 1: his keys, his wallet, and his license. Wow, okay, suspicious.
Speaker 2: How does he get to the Eastern Europe without any
Speaker 2: of that?
Speaker 1: Eventually, officials uncovered evidence that Borgwart had fled to Europe
Speaker 1: by way of Canada. Investigators made contact with the father
Speaker 1: of three on November eleventh, So August twelfth goes missing
Speaker 1: a November eleventh, investigators make contact with the father when
Speaker 1: they say they learned he executed a plan to fake
Speaker 1: his own death for a quote number of reasons and
Speaker 1: quote I would hope he had at least one reason. Yeah,
Speaker 1: to abandon your entire family. I have a punch what
Speaker 1: this is. And the day he vanished, Borgwart traveled to
Speaker 1: Green Lake, one of Wisconsin's deepest inland lakes. There you go,
Speaker 1: who Okay, with the plan of faking his own drowning.
Speaker 1: Who and Saripoldo detailed the man's scheme. The experienced kayaker
Speaker 1: paddled out into the water, where he deliberately overturned the vessel,
Speaker 1: tossed his phone, and returned to the shore in child
Speaker 1: size inflatable boat. Okay, it couldn't just swam, but we're
Speaker 1: gonna He didn't want to get wet. Guy hates water,
Speaker 1: he does. He hate Bourgwart hates water. Alice Pollywog can't get.
Speaker 2: Enough of this stuff, and that is one of the
Speaker 2: many reasons he chose to go to eastern Europe, just
Speaker 2: more incompatible.
Speaker 1: Borgwart then rode an e bike through the night. Kurt
Speaker 1: just guess how many miles he rode through the night
Speaker 1: on an e bike. You've written e bikes many times.
Speaker 1: I have, I have all right through the night, through
Speaker 1: the night. Yeah, eighty miles, good guess, eighty miles to Madison, Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: go Badgers. Where then he boarded a bus to Detroit,
Speaker 1: eventually crossing the Canadian border and flying to Europe. So
Speaker 1: that was his escape plan.
Speaker 2: So but I don't understand. I like, he has to
Speaker 2: have his passport, it's immediately registered. Anybody does one search,
Speaker 2: they know exactly where he went, what is his Is
Speaker 2: he just an idiot?
Speaker 1: I think they initially did think he was just dead
Speaker 1: and missing and didn't think to like searched Canada, like aha,
Speaker 1: what you McCall it customs or anything like that. So
Speaker 1: before his disappearance, Borgwart transferred funds to a foreign bank account,
Speaker 1: changed his email, and communicated woman with a woman in Uzbekistan.
Speaker 1: Oh lord, the classic is Becha Stanic a criminal? That's
Speaker 1: according to the sheriff. A criminal complaint filed Wednesday said
Speaker 1: Borgwart brought approximately five five dollars in cash with him. Okay.
Speaker 1: Investigators were ultimately able to contact Borgwark through Russian speak
Speaker 1: through a Russian speaking woman, though He declined to say
Speaker 1: whether she was the woman he had been communicating with
Speaker 1: in his Beekistan or whether he was with her. Burgwart
Speaker 1: told police he had heavily researched how to disappear by
Speaker 1: looking up previous disappearance cases, and that everything hinged on
Speaker 1: me dying in that lake, he said, And the whole
Speaker 1: idea was to sell the death in January. I mean,
Speaker 1: all our murder bananas they know this one. Yeah. In January,
Speaker 1: Borgwak took out a three hundred and seventy five thousand
Speaker 1: dollars life insurance policy, which Poldol said was intended to
Speaker 1: help his family. So he's a thoughtful guy.
Speaker 2: Oh, look very thoughtful. He wants to go boink in.
Speaker 2: He's pekistan um but Cher.
Speaker 1: Poldol says that Borgwark has expressed regret for how he
Speaker 1: hurt his family and also feels bad about the amount
Speaker 1: of hours that he has put the community through.
Speaker 2: I mean, come on, man, I am so excited for
Speaker 2: Borgwark to go to jail. I am very rarely excited
Speaker 2: for someone to go to jail. I want him to
Speaker 2: rot in jail.
Speaker 1: I don't think he'll go that long. I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't think it's like that big of a crime to
Speaker 1: be a dickhead. The long extensive search for Borgwark was
Speaker 1: costly and emotional taxing. It was an endeavor for both
Speaker 1: his family and charch crews. Borgwalk previously told investigators they
Speaker 1: thought that they would stop searching for him after two weeks.
Speaker 1: Potal said, quote, he picked the wrong sheriff and the
Speaker 1: wrong department. They yeah, totaled for so long.
Speaker 2: So total just sniffed something fishy. Huh, that's what he thought.
Speaker 2: He was just like this, done that up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So in October, so he disappeared in August and
Speaker 1: October investigators learned from Canadian officials that Borgwart had entered
Speaker 1: the country on August thirteenth, so the next day after
Speaker 1: the Drowningwart's passport was found at the family home. But
Speaker 1: learned that after he left the country, they did a
Speaker 1: deeper search on his computer and they found that he
Speaker 1: had replaced his hard drive on his laptop, cleared his
Speaker 1: browsing history on the Davis disappearance, and he had also
Speaker 1: reported his passport stolen and obtained a replacement secretly last spring.
Speaker 1: So oh, I see he had two passports. He lied
Speaker 1: about losing one, so Yeah, that's.
Speaker 2: Uh, he's he's supposed to hit in his mind, the
Speaker 2: person crossing is going to be the person who stole
Speaker 2: his passport. Is that like what people are supposed to believe.
Speaker 1: Or they're just supposed to find his old passport in
Speaker 1: the house and not think I think he was just
Speaker 1: really thought he would make it look like he died
Speaker 1: in the one of the deepest lakes in Wisconsin.
Speaker 2: Is there any way? I mean, like, I guess there's
Speaker 2: a way on some level to like to cross into Canada.
Speaker 2: Not at a checkpoint like through the woods, but it's
Speaker 2: probably like a twenty mile at like the narrowest point,
Speaker 2: like a twenty mile hike that you would have to do.
Speaker 1: And the road is teenage will do it all the time.
Speaker 1: I have a few things. I think it's so doable. Sure,
Speaker 1: that's a huge border.
Speaker 2: That's a huge border, right, so you can easily get
Speaker 2: into Canada. How do you get to eastern Europe without
Speaker 2: using a passport? Like a fishing boat, but still fishing
Speaker 2: boats are checked when they come, Like, no, fishing boats
Speaker 2: don't go from from.
Speaker 1: One hell of a Canada. His solar powered I guess
Speaker 1: the sailboat the coolest sailboat ever, But yeah, no, he flew.
Speaker 1: He just had a passport. He just man and you Okay,
Speaker 1: so what do you think happened? He fell in love
Speaker 1: with catfish online? Right, don't you think it was catfish
Speaker 1: or mat order something?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Or it's just like a bot. It was just
Speaker 2: an AI bot that he fell in love with. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and then he decided to destroy his entire life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, blow up his whole life for a cam girl
Speaker 1: bot in his Bekistan.
Speaker 2: At forty five. Like sure, I'm sure he was very
Speaker 2: unhappy in his life to lead him to do this.
Speaker 2: But like at forty five, do you really you really
Speaker 2: think you're going to start over and uz Bekistan? You
Speaker 2: don't speak Russian? You don't speak Uzbek is Uzbeka language.
Speaker 2: I bet you it is.
Speaker 1: I bet they have some dialect of Uzbek.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't. I couldn't identify whoz Bekistan on a map,
Speaker 2: could you.
Speaker 1: I could put my hand on a globe and I
Speaker 1: think I could cover it, but it would be my
Speaker 1: whole hand hand fingers.
Speaker 2: Definitely could do that. I could put my whole hand there.
Speaker 1: I know the general reha Yeah it No, I could not.
Speaker 1: I so when I was right before you and I
Speaker 1: left New York and moved to LA We had mutual
Speaker 1: friends with a big group of dudes, but I wasn't
Speaker 1: close enough to be in the wedding or anything. And
Speaker 1: they all went to a bachelor party in November in
Speaker 1: Myrtle Beach. Okay, so not you know Myrtle Beach of
Speaker 1: South Carolina. But November is not worn. That is, the
Speaker 1: beach is very shut down. The tourism is gone. I
Speaker 1: don't think anybody's even playing miniature golf at that. What
Speaker 1: year we talking about, twenty twenty eleven?
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 1: So I had two friends that went on that trip.
Speaker 1: I had like five friends that went on the troop,
Speaker 1: but two of them were named Thomas. Their names are
Speaker 1: not really Thomas, ok. But two guys named Thomas and
Speaker 1: good guys, funny guys. So there's nothing to do in
Speaker 1: Myrtle Beach besides like eat steaks. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't even know what you do. The weather was crap,
Speaker 1: it was cold. And when they came back we met.
Speaker 1: We met at Fourth Avenue Pub. Why did they go?
Speaker 2: Do you know why they went?
Speaker 1: I think they had heard of it. I mean it
Speaker 1: was a bachelor party. Was why they all went.
Speaker 2: It was like, you know what I mean, like, but
Speaker 2: why were Myrtle Beach in November?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I think maybe they heard that
Speaker 1: Myrtle Beach was awesome and they didn't realize it was
Speaker 1: not that far south that it wasn't mean Miami.
Speaker 2: That's crazy, okay.
Speaker 1: Or maybe they were broke, I don't know. So they
Speaker 1: go down and there there are adult clubs there, and
Speaker 1: I think they went to some strip clubs and two
Speaker 1: of the dancers apparently took a real shine to the
Speaker 1: Thomases because the Thomases were the most single dudes there.
Speaker 1: They were unmarried. I don't think they had girlfriends at
Speaker 1: the time, And so for three nights in a row,
Speaker 1: the guys went to the same strip club, Treasure Club,
Speaker 1: and they both swore that the these two specific dancers
Speaker 1: loved them. Yeah. Yeah, and the Thomas I knew better again.
Speaker 1: I'm getting this in Brooklyn when they all return back,
Speaker 1: is devastated because on the third night, after spending fifteen
Speaker 1: hundred dollars, he shot his shot and said, can I
Speaker 1: have your number? Maybe you can come visit New York
Speaker 1: or Brooklyn. Maybe I can come down here and she says,
Speaker 1: of course, and gives him a fake telephone number. So
Speaker 1: he is devastated, and we are all like, you fool.
Speaker 1: Part of the transaction in those places is for them
Speaker 1: to make you think that they love you. And for
Speaker 1: three nights he just dumped so much money to lap
Speaker 1: dances and drinks and everything you do you want to hear?
Speaker 1: What's even more, bananaskart. Yeah, and the other Thomas married
Speaker 1: his dancer months later in New York City and they
Speaker 1: are still together.
Speaker 2: They're still together, yes, and they live in New York.
Speaker 1: Yes. Because I we were like, dreams do come true exactly,
Speaker 1: Dreams do come true like a saxophone. Life has lots
Speaker 1: of turns. And we were making so much fun of
Speaker 1: my closer friend Thomas for falling for it and just
Speaker 1: blowing out all his money on a woman that will
Speaker 1: never communicate in hopes to never see him again. And
Speaker 1: the other guy did it. He pulled off the impossible,
Speaker 1: and she came up and moved in with them, and
Speaker 1: they got married within three months.
Speaker 2: Oh believe god, I love that song.
Speaker 1: I know it's kind of like So the moral is,
Speaker 1: we don't know.
Speaker 2: We don't know, There is no way, there is no
Speaker 2: moral either way. Everything's possible. Life is remember when you
Speaker 2: walk into a strip club, Guys, everything's possible. If you're
Speaker 2: looking to get married, it could happened tonight or never
Speaker 2: and never, and don't fall for it, you stupid idiots.
Speaker 1: Don't be an idiot. They don't love you. But sometimes
Speaker 1: sometimes do you live with you forever and be one
Speaker 1: of the best things that ever happened to you. So
Speaker 1: it's really up to you. It's a coin toss, guys.
Speaker 1: Everything in life is a coin toss. The tide goes in,
Speaker 1: the tide goes out.
Speaker 2: Mmm mmmmmm. I'll tease this into a little thumb's ubsession,
Speaker 2: no thumbs up session. Who doesn't like that child tired
Speaker 2: of waiting for mom crashes into daycare?
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's kids. They drive the darnedest things. I
Speaker 1: love them. Okay, I do have some good thumbs ups.
Speaker 1: This one actually got an update since I put it
Speaker 1: on my list, so I'll give you the update at
Speaker 1: the end. Larissa Cameron is a bananimal who lives in
Speaker 1: Jamaica and she works for the Peace Corps.
Speaker 2: Okay, awesome.
Speaker 1: She's doing a fundraiser for a seedling nursery project where
Speaker 1: they're growing seed links. It makes it easier for farmers.
Speaker 1: They're basically going to retrofit greenhouses to grow seedlings, which
Speaker 1: increases crop yield in Jamaica. Nice we donated, Kurt, I
Speaker 1: donated on our behalf and ban animals. If you want to,
Speaker 1: I will put the link for Larissa's project in our
Speaker 1: stories for a couple of days. But also Larissa says
Speaker 1: it got fully funded, so in the time, since I
Speaker 1: didn't have time to get to this one yet, she
Speaker 1: did let me know a couple days ago that it's
Speaker 1: fully funded. So congratulations, Larissa Cameron. I mean, working for
Speaker 1: the Peace Corps alone is wonderful, but then also funding
Speaker 1: this great thing that's gonna help farmers in Jamaica.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thumbs ups, right on thumbs up.
Speaker 1: May Bacon is thumbing up Kristin Shaw all right, a
Speaker 1: huge fan of her since Flay the Concords and Kristinshaw
Speaker 1: is a horse which Kurt invented with Kristin. May says,
Speaker 1: I know this isn't a real thumbs up, but if
Speaker 1: I could say hi to Kristin on an EPP, I
Speaker 1: would absolutely lose it. So May Bacon is saying hi,
Speaker 1: Kristin Shaw on bananas. I will tell her, we will
Speaker 1: tell her We're going to watch the Oscars with her.
Speaker 2: Is that this Sunday?
Speaker 1: I believe it is. Oh boy, I know Maya Miller.
Speaker 1: There is a baker Kurd and she did send us
Speaker 1: some gluten free banana cookies in the past and they
Speaker 1: were delicious. So Maya, thank you so much. She's telling me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's thumbing herself up for starting a new podcast for
Speaker 1: Love and Frosting and a blog with the same name
Speaker 1: for Love and Frosting. She's also writing a new novel
Speaker 1: after self publishing a novel appast year called Waste to
Speaker 1: Say Goodbye. Maya's a very busy, smart person and if
Speaker 1: you love baking or reading, I would suggest you check
Speaker 1: out the four Love and Frosting podcast and blog. That's
Speaker 1: great thumbs up Maya.
Speaker 2: Or now what I was just thinking about it, Like
Speaker 2: with everything that we like, it's so cool. Self publishing
Speaker 2: is awesome in the fact that like, you can write something,
Speaker 2: you can get it out there and it exists.
Speaker 1: It's real, you know where it's.
Speaker 2: Like all of these things we write, you and I
Speaker 2: the hundreds and hundreds of pages that are read by
Speaker 2: like four nerds at a network and then thrown in
Speaker 2: the trash and they never go anywhere. It's infuriating. But
Speaker 2: imagine if you just like, oh, yeah, go to my Amazon.
Speaker 2: You can see all of my You can go to
Speaker 2: see all of the scripts I wrote in the past
Speaker 2: ten years, that would be great. Be like, look at
Speaker 2: that I did something. I didn't waste twelve years of
Speaker 2: my life in Los Angeles just developing for idiots.
Speaker 1: Yep, that's right. There's a there's a series of like
Speaker 1: storage locker things, big sort of walking closets on the
Speaker 1: Paramount Pictures lot, and every time I walk by it
Speaker 1: to pitch, yeah, I have to not look at it
Speaker 1: because apparently it is full of bought scripts that were
Speaker 1: never produced, but Paramount didn't want other studios to have it.
Speaker 1: So it is just like rows and rows and rows
Speaker 1: of boxes and boxes and boxes of full feature screenplays
Speaker 1: that were optioned or purchased and never shot.
Speaker 2: Think about that too. Before email, it was just a
Speaker 2: physical thing that a studio could put it to a
Speaker 2: cage and put a lock on.
Speaker 1: That's crazy physical. So they were hiding it and locking
Speaker 1: it away. I think some got ruined during a flood
Speaker 1: or rains or fire or something. But I'm like the
Speaker 1: sheer amount of creative will power to sit down and write.
Speaker 1: I mean. And also, you know, like Ozarks, A lot
Speaker 1: of people like the TV show Ozarks. The pilot script
Speaker 1: was just on a pile of failed scripts and Jason
Speaker 1: Bateman's manager read it was like maybe this and then
Speaker 1: brought it back to life like a decade after it
Speaker 1: was written.
Speaker 2: Wow, Black Monday was the same thing that Showtime show
Speaker 2: that I was on was written ten years beforehand, and
Speaker 2: like they went in to pitch a new idea and
Speaker 2: the assistant accidentally sent the old this script from ten
Speaker 2: years ago, and they were like they sat down in
Speaker 2: the pitch, like we read the script, we love the script,
Speaker 2: and like, oh no, no that was no. Oh you're
Speaker 2: talking about that. No, no, that's ten years ago.
Speaker 1: That's dead.
Speaker 2: They're like, no, we want to buy it. And that's
Speaker 2: how it happened. Yeah, because an assistant accidentally sent the
Speaker 2: wrong script.
Speaker 1: And back to your original point, it's because they exist
Speaker 1: in the world. So self publishing is so valuable because
Speaker 1: you never know who's going to read it and who's
Speaker 1: going to go this was actually really good, So congratulations
Speaker 1: Maya yeah, last, but not least, Georgie wants the thumb.
Speaker 1: Her big sister braun Up Bron introduced Georgie to bananas
Speaker 1: during the Great Choir, and every few weeks one of
Speaker 1: them would text the other asking did you listen to bananas?
Speaker 1: And the other would reply with an episode specific quote
Speaker 1: like baby bird, whiskey in the mouth or eyes only
Speaker 1: or whatever part they knew the other one would love.
Speaker 1: So now they're closer than ever. And Georgie says they
Speaker 1: grew up in a house that wasn't very emotional. You
Speaker 1: really weren't supposed to express yourself. So Georgie wants to
Speaker 1: say I love you. Bron to her, yay, oh that's lovely. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and those are the thumbs uppies.
Speaker 2: Fantastic. All right, here we go. This is a child
Speaker 2: tired of waiting for mom crashes into independent daycare. This
Speaker 2: is on Fox four, written by Dave DeMarco and you Dave.
Speaker 1: Best in the business.
Speaker 2: This is an Independence Missouri. A woman is facing charges
Speaker 2: involving a car the crash into a daycare Wednesday, but
Speaker 2: she wasn't one behind the wheel. Please say the driver
Speaker 2: was an impatient eleven year old boy. Count on me
Speaker 2: Academy near two ninety one and Gudgel.
Speaker 1: Gudge Go Beautiful Gudge Goal.
Speaker 2: Gudgel remains partially closed from the crash, only serving younger
Speaker 2: children on the north side of the building. The other
Speaker 2: half of the building's blocked off where a bush is
Speaker 2: missing in front of the brick building and there's a
Speaker 2: large crack and portion of the wall below the window
Speaker 2: is pushed in significantly. These people went and looked at this.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, Hm, the window was pushed in. Okay, this
Speaker 2: is a quote. The window was pushed in. It looks
Speaker 2: to me at least four inches or more because you
Speaker 2: can see the edging there. So I think it's probably
Speaker 2: gonna cost a little bit to get fixed. Lisa Greenwall,
Speaker 2: who works at the salon next door, said they didn't
Speaker 2: even talk to anybody who works at the daycare.
Speaker 1: Salon workers they keep their eyes and ears wide open.
Speaker 1: They are the original operators.
Speaker 2: Police say a mother arrived around four pm to pick
Speaker 2: up children at the daycare and left her eleven year
Speaker 2: oldest son in the car.
Speaker 1: Quote.
Speaker 2: It's it's kind of scary leaving an eleven year old
Speaker 2: char in the car. Car in eleven year old child
Speaker 2: in the car unattended. Charlene Williams says, nowhere is it
Speaker 2: explained who. Charlene Williams is a random person. Maybe she's
Speaker 2: at this line, maybe she's getting her hair done. She's
Speaker 2: just a person who has an opinion, and I would
Speaker 2: like to speak to that opinion. You these I have
Speaker 2: heard so many people like online, it's just this big.
Speaker 2: We've talked about it too. Sometimes you gotta leave a
Speaker 2: kid in a car.
Speaker 1: Okay, fine, eleven.
Speaker 2: Is like a I would say that's close to an
Speaker 2: adult I've seen. Have you seen eleven year olds recently?
Speaker 1: I'm terrified of them.
Speaker 2: I am terrified of eleven and twelve year olds.
Speaker 1: I crossed the street when I see him coming, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my mean this.
Speaker 2: The idea that you can't leave it. I'm not talking
Speaker 2: about leaving an infant in a in the car, locked
Speaker 2: up while you go to the bar for two hours.
Speaker 2: I'm not talking about that. I'm talking leaving a kid
Speaker 2: in a car so you can run into the store
Speaker 2: and get something. Life is so hard, you got to
Speaker 2: leave the kid in the car. Sometimes it's easy for
Speaker 2: eleven year old. It's the kid's fault that I mean,
Speaker 2: it's not the mom's fault. That kid got into the car.
Speaker 2: This is what he said. Boy told police his mom
Speaker 2: was taking too long inside, so he decided to drive off.
Speaker 2: He thought the car was in reverse, but because he's eleven, fine,
Speaker 2: it was actually in drive and he crashed into the building. Thankfully,
Speaker 2: no one was injured. I mean, that kid's an idiot.
Speaker 2: That kid should get in trouble, not the mom. Mom's
Speaker 2: just trying to get stuff done, just trying to live
Speaker 2: her life. I'm on the mom's side one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Don't think she should be. And they were gonna arrest her,
Speaker 2: they were gonna is.
Speaker 1: A totally big kid, A big kid.
Speaker 2: Eleven is a big kid. Yeah, eleven is. You could
Speaker 2: be left at home. I was definitely left.
Speaker 1: Oh, we walked to school at after school. We would walk,
Speaker 1: just walk to my to my sister had a friend
Speaker 1: whose mom watched us after school. We just walk, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I oh the time my daughters seven. I'm
Speaker 2: about to let her do the banking for the family.
Speaker 2: She's smarter than all of us.
Speaker 1: She should she Yeah, she's better than turbotack. She's really good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: eleven's totally fine. Also, I will say and I know
Speaker 1: nothing of anything, of course, especially not being a parent.
Speaker 1: But like the length of time that you leave kids
Speaker 1: in child seats are car seats now seems it's so long.
Speaker 1: To me. It's I have a car like one hundred
Speaker 1: pounds or something, one.
Speaker 2: Hundred and twenty pounds. My car seat is rated to
Speaker 2: one hundred and twenty pounds. It's like one of those
Speaker 2: ones that like keeps changing, so like it starts off
Speaker 2: as like a backward facing seat for when they're infants,
Speaker 2: and then you like racket it up and then put
Speaker 2: it on the back and then it's for kids until
Speaker 2: they're forty forty pounds, and then you don't have to
Speaker 2: use like the five point straps. You can use the
Speaker 2: strap from your car, and then you take the back
Speaker 2: off and then it's just a booster seat until they're
Speaker 2: I don't know, eighteen years old and they.
Speaker 1: Stay riding the car. That's what it seems like.
Speaker 2: I wasn't in a car seat everver. Was I in
Speaker 2: two car accidents? Yes? Did I break my back, yes,
Speaker 2: But I was never in one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're not a dork, You're just a regular
Speaker 1: cool guy with a broken back.
Speaker 2: I'm a cool dude, who knows what it's like to
Speaker 2: have a broken back when you're twelve.
Speaker 1: That's fine. No, I'm sure that they've saved countless lives
Speaker 1: and injuries. And also, I'm a pro helmet guy. I
Speaker 1: will yell out the window and people wear a helmet
Speaker 1: when I see adults riding. Pro I'm in the city.
Speaker 2: I'm pro car seat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I do feel like it goes very very
Speaker 1: long now, like I'm not. I'm a little surprised you
Speaker 1: didn't say the eleven year old got out of his
Speaker 1: car seat, got in the driver's seat and slammed into
Speaker 1: the salon. But also, I do I mean, like take care.
Speaker 2: I mean, but the car seat culture is probably what
Speaker 2: made that kid not understand that it was in drive.
Speaker 2: You know, give them a little more responsibility so he
Speaker 2: kind of knows how to drive the car a little better. Right,
Speaker 2: maybe he could get home.
Speaker 1: They need to make car seats. That becomes something else
Speaker 1: that just seems like a I guess you give it
Speaker 1: to friends who have children or something, But don't they
Speaker 1: just get demolished with the nil a wafers yogurt and
Speaker 1: what you can.
Speaker 2: Like, you can disassemble almost all of the pieces, and
Speaker 2: you can put the can't like the soft part into
Speaker 2: a washing machine. Even after the wash it comes out
Speaker 2: and it looks like the ghosts of disgusting have been there.
Speaker 2: You can just see outlines of like melted raisinets and stuff.
Speaker 1: They need to make them so that they become like
Speaker 1: elevated planting beds. They need to make biodegradable children's car seats,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. An easy one too.
Speaker 2: Made out of the stuff that egg cartons are made
Speaker 2: out of, you know, so you can just get wet
Speaker 2: and it dissolves. God, why do we have We're not
Speaker 2: using them for eggs, so why aren't we using them
Speaker 2: for car seats?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Okay, I mean not to be controversial, but.
Speaker 2: I don't like being controversial guys.
Speaker 1: But these are vision huge visionary ideas from stupid man.
Speaker 1: Chris Talbert sent this in. Thank you, Chris Talbert. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: I just got myself. This was This was on Kurt's
Speaker 1: favorite website. Uh, pork business dot com. Come on, come on,
Speaker 1: it was a pork business dot com written by the
Speaker 1: best in the pork biz, Jennifer Shike.
Speaker 2: Is it really about the pork business or it is
Speaker 2: we given the business to the pork. Now it's really
Speaker 2: about the pork business.
Speaker 1: It is, and I could this is a true story.
Speaker 1: I verified this one because when I saw pork Business
Speaker 1: dot Com. Oh man, I'm glad I didn't open it
Speaker 1: on a work computer.
Speaker 2: And then sometimes an episode just gives you a just
Speaker 2: a wealth of different titles, and pork business dot Com
Speaker 2: could also be a great title for this episode.
Speaker 1: It could have been the it could have been where
Speaker 1: my friend Thomas's fell in love with the dancers at
Speaker 1: business business dot com. And I'm not talking about the
Speaker 1: dancers hell Man, Jennifer Shyke pork business dot com.
Speaker 2: Do you think the person who started pork business dot
Speaker 2: com he's They got to be proud, right that they
Speaker 2: like there. They put a lot of time and effort
Speaker 2: into pork business dot Com. And they must have like cards, right,
Speaker 2: they have calling cards that say like great great gene. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the pork business gene at pork business dot com. Just
Speaker 2: give me an email over that gen at pork business
Speaker 2: dot com.
Speaker 1: They probably sell advertising. I mean, there's probably a few
Speaker 1: people that pay their mortgage and their car payments because
Speaker 1: of pork business dot Com.
Speaker 2: You know what I would this is what this is.
Speaker 2: I think pork business dot com could make a lot
Speaker 2: of money or renting out email addresses to people, because
Speaker 2: if I could say email me at pork at pork
Speaker 2: business dots.
Speaker 1: So happy, you would sell every pitch for the rest
Speaker 1: of your life. Like I just follow up, will send
Speaker 1: you a script and it comes to Netflix from pork
Speaker 1: at pork Business.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna see if I could buy pork business
Speaker 2: just different. Spell while you're reading this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you can always send your stories to pork
Speaker 1: at pork business dot com. Oh my god, I think
Speaker 1: I about have deleted the story. I was laughing so hard.
Speaker 1: There it is, okay, okay again, this was sitting by
Speaker 1: the Great Bananamal Chris Talbert. Thanks you.
Speaker 2: Okay. Oh wait, got it, pork business dot com. Make
Speaker 2: it mine and it's b I z nyss.
Speaker 1: That's fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm getting it right now.
Speaker 1: Here's the article from Jennifer Shike at pork business dot com.
Speaker 1: Mission complete. Iowa man eats a pork tenderloin in all
Speaker 1: ninety nine Iowa counties. What this is a big one.
Speaker 1: This is a big one. When JJ Goodwin revealed his
Speaker 1: quest to eat a pork tenderloin in all ninety nine
Speaker 1: Iowa counties. There were certainly a lot of people asking
Speaker 1: the question, is he for real?
Speaker 2: No one asked that question.
Speaker 1: When here we go. I focused on pork tenderloins because
Speaker 1: it's probably the most comferous. But it makes sense why
Speaker 1: this story would be a pork business dot com.
Speaker 2: It really does. This is the most pork business article
Speaker 2: that pork business.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've ever done. Even the Great pig Stampede of
Speaker 1: the nineteen eighties to would quite compete with JJ Goodvin.
Speaker 1: I focused on pork tenderloines because it's probably the most
Speaker 1: popular sandwich in Iowa, says Goodwin, who serves as the
Speaker 1: chief explorer of the Iowa Gallivant, another website that I'm frequenting.
Speaker 1: I knew it was going to be huge, but I
Speaker 1: didn't realize it was going to be this huge. It
Speaker 1: took off from video one. People were like, holy crap,
Speaker 1: this guy is doing it. And again, what he's doing
Speaker 1: is he's needing a pork tenderlined sandwich in all ninety
Speaker 1: nine Iowa counties. First of all, didn't know there were
Speaker 1: ninety nine counties in Iowa. So it's an educational podcast.
Speaker 1: You're learning something every day. Since starting his Tenderloined tours
Speaker 1: ten months ago, Goodvin's videos have accumulated more than twenty
Speaker 1: eight million views. That's a lot actually across his social
Speaker 1: media platforms. I made a tentative list of where we
Speaker 1: were going to go, but my list probably changed fifty
Speaker 1: times because we let the locals guide us. The lows
Speaker 1: very rarely steer you in the wrong direction. Good Vincent
Speaker 1: and paid attention to the comments. Every single time we
Speaker 1: put up a pork tenderloin. There was always comments on
Speaker 1: other places we should go, and the engagement was unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Did you get pork at pork tenderline our pork business?
Speaker 1: I got it.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to screen grab it so I can send
Speaker 2: you pork business dot com?
Speaker 1: Is yours? Tell you? I'm pumped? Do you want what?
Speaker 2: Do you what? Do you want your email address to be?
Speaker 2: At pork tenderloin, tenderloin at perk pork Business.
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 2: I haven't had so much fun in years.
Speaker 1: It's just that easy. It's good to have fun for
Speaker 1: Woods Goods.
Speaker 2: This this this episode really picked up on the last story. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: did I think I'm saying we got to call it pork.
Speaker 2: At pork business dot com this episode.
Speaker 1: Switching it Up, We're switching it up. On February thirteenth,
Speaker 1: he announced he will announce his favorite tender from the
Speaker 1: ninety nine counties visited. My biggest takeaway here is there's
Speaker 1: great restaurants all over the place. I can't tell you
Speaker 1: how many off the beaten path places we went to.
Speaker 1: Oh God, some restaurant, Goodvinstor has been away for people
Speaker 1: far away to learn what pork tenderlines are true. I
Speaker 1: mean they're massive too. These things are hammered flat Kurt.
Speaker 1: They're bigger than a dinner plate. These sandwiches, it's like
Speaker 1: a regular sized bun and then a home plate of
Speaker 1: a baseball diamond size breaded pork tenderloin. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to see if there's one. Okay, here's the
Speaker 1: last sentence of the article on pork business dot Com.
Speaker 1: Although he didn't share too many details from his travels
Speaker 1: about what makes a great pork tender loin, he did
Speaker 1: share one requirement. It has to be hot.
Speaker 2: That that is a basic requirement of most foods.
Speaker 1: At Goodvid just likes it coming out scorching hot, Kurt, I.
Speaker 2: Don't want to. It's an old pork tender.
Speaker 1: I think he described somewhere that I went over that
Speaker 1: his preferred size are huge, elephant ear pork tender. Lloyd, Honestly,
Speaker 1: if we do a banana show in Iowa at any point,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm getting a pork tender loin when we go.
Speaker 2: Oh hell yeah, what's it? What's the city in Iowa?
Speaker 1: Des Moines?
Speaker 2: There we go, gotta go, I mean, Moin, Moin's pretty cool. Actually,
Speaker 2: I like des Moines. I remember driving through there. I
Speaker 2: saw this punk band Teenage Bottle Rocket at a like
Speaker 2: I think it's called the gas Light in Des Moines,
Speaker 2: driving cross country. They were great, and I was like,
Speaker 2: well look at this little little Midwest punk rock.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I said, we go. Maybe we'll get a des
Speaker 1: Moines show on the books at some point.
Speaker 2: Let's do it. I don't know, dm us if you
Speaker 2: know what des Moines place?
Speaker 1: Heck yeah, And I think that's it for us. Curdie
Speaker 1: b Oh, yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it.
Speaker 2: I mean, are you kidding? Made? We can't do email
Speaker 2: us at Pork at Pork Business and tenderloin at pork
Speaker 2: business dot com. Those will forward to the Bananas email.
Speaker 2: If we can just say, send all your strange hues
Speaker 2: to pork at pork business dot com.
Speaker 1: Well you now you've got to make business cards that
Speaker 1: we can hand out a live shows of people.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: Now we're in the pork business together. This has been bananas.
Speaker 1: Bananas is an exactly right media production.
Speaker 2: Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1: The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 2: Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard, and.
Speaker 1: Our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia
Speaker 1: Hartstart
Speaker 2: And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
Speaker 2: intern