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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya red An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. What did I just

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Speaker 2: miss you?

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Speaker 3: You're the one who.

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Speaker 2: Just said it, but you said something that made him laugh.

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Speaker 1: You said half the time, get to the book.

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Speaker 4: Because Becca, we're like about to start the podcast, and

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Speaker 4: she goes, I can't tell if you're joking about this

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Speaker 4: dress you sent me for your engagement shoots. And I'm like,

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Speaker 4: I'm not trying to make a joke, my Aghow now

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Speaker 4: I know how you really feel about the notes.

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Speaker 2: And you know how I sent the dress Radeine and

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Speaker 2: Kiln's wedding and it was like a joke. I didn't

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Speaker 2: know if you were like doing that to me to

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Speaker 2: get my reaction.

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Speaker 3: No, it's my engagement shoot. I'm not trying to have

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Speaker 3: a laugh at it.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Well, so clearly you don't like the dress.

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Speaker 2: I just said. I said it could either be amazing

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Speaker 2: or bad depending on how it photographs with movement. And

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna show looks if Robbie wore another one would

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Speaker 2: be like if you complete a herd.

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Speaker 1: Oh interesting, It's like it was such a half a heart.

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Speaker 4: I thought it was such a chic, chic dress, a

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Speaker 4: little avant garde, a little you.

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Speaker 2: Know, I'm saying it could be great or it could

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Speaker 2: be like what in the actual hell? So I just

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Speaker 2: didn't know if I was being played with. So my sincerest.

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Speaker 3: So I don't get that dress.

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Speaker 2: I think you should get it. Try it on, take

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Speaker 2: some photos, see how it moves, and then if you're like, wow,

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Speaker 2: it looks amazing when I'm walking, because you love a

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Speaker 2: walking photo.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look like a Tanya dress to me.

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Speaker 3: What is a Tanya dress?

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Speaker 5: I don't know, but it's not that like that doesn't

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Speaker 5: you're like hiding behind something where you're very you know.

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Speaker 1: Free, very open a shell.

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Speaker 2: It does feel very like a high fashion and I

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Speaker 2: feel like you. I mean it's in a complimentary way.

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Speaker 2: There's some bad like run like looks on runways, but

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Speaker 2: because they're trying to make a statement and fashion. You're

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Speaker 2: a fashion girl.

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Speaker 3: Whenever I want a modern woman.

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Speaker 2: You're a cool girl. Your style game isn't killing it.

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Speaker 2: And this didn't feel like you.

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Speaker 1: It's a little high fashion, like.

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Speaker 2: You're trying too hard and you don't have to try

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Speaker 2: that hard.

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Speaker 3: You must see some other options. Well, you don't think

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Speaker 3: this is good.

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Speaker 4: Content for the show. There's not one that seems a

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Speaker 4: little high fashion but a little bit more me. And

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Speaker 4: it's like a little rose flower on top of a

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Speaker 4: white dress, which feels nice, like nice linen rose on top.

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Speaker 3: No, nobody likes that.

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Speaker 1: My opinion doesn't really matter.

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Speaker 3: Already this is going well for me. I just think

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Speaker 3: that lace on top, a little lace.

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Speaker 2: Classic is best because you're going to look back on

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Speaker 2: these for years and years and years, and you want

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Speaker 2: to be like, that was a timeless look that I chose,

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Speaker 2: not like I chose the big ruffle around my head,

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Speaker 2: or I chose a big flower on my chest, you know.

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Speaker 2: Or you could do a series where you just do

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Speaker 2: something trendy and then the rest of the photos do

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Speaker 2: something classic.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm picking one outfit. We're not doing outphit changes here.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow yeah, okay, but I just can't believe I'm

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Speaker 4: having an engagement photo shoot.

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Speaker 3: Like, let's mist that for a second.

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Speaker 4: Let's take a moment for these, take a moment for

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Speaker 4: the engagement photo shoot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we all.

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Speaker 1: Let us do this.

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Speaker 2: Yes, So getting into untamed, Yes, we started with let

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Speaker 2: it be, let it burn, Let it Burn.

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Speaker 4: What I realized is our last I took a quote

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Speaker 4: from Let It Burn to discuss last week that was

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Speaker 4: really in Let It Burn. Mmm, so my whole deconstruction

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Speaker 4: for construction was a little pre uh, a little ahead

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Speaker 4: of its time, a little ahead of its time.

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Speaker 2: But here we are let it burn. Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 2: remember when you said that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I really felt it when I was moving

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Speaker 4: into the house because everything just looked like a total

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Speaker 4: deconstructed mess. And I thought to myself, this is exactly

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Speaker 4: what Glennon Doyle meant when she said deconstruction is essential

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Speaker 4: for construction, because in order for us to build our home,

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Speaker 4: it's gonna be a little messy at times. There's gonna

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Speaker 4: be stuff flying around, There's gonna be things where they're

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Speaker 4: not meant to be, and that's okay because we are building,

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Speaker 4: we are constructing our future.

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Speaker 2: It's good.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think I really resonated with that part because I

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Speaker 2: think we live a lot of like hoping or expecting

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Speaker 2: our lives to look a certain way. You know. I

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Speaker 2: grew up so like I just knew exactly what my

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Speaker 2: life was gonna look like, you know, like my whole

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Speaker 2: life until like mid twenties or late twenties. I guess

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Speaker 2: I knew in a sense like how it would end up,

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Speaker 2: which was like I was gonna get married to a

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Speaker 2: nice man and have children and you know, raise those children,

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Speaker 2: and it just all felt very laid out to me.

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Speaker 2: And I think when you decide to do something different,

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Speaker 2: there is a feeling that feels like the best word

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Speaker 2: is destruction. It feels like you're destroying something. It feels

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Speaker 2: like you're like in the midst of like a construction zone,

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Speaker 2: where like nothing's right, like nothing looks the way you

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Speaker 2: want it to look, nothing feels the way you want

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Speaker 2: it to feel, and you're kind of like, did I

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Speaker 2: just blow everything up? But it's too late to go

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Speaker 2: back because what's done is done, So the only way

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Speaker 2: is going forward. And like letting go of the like

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Speaker 2: ideals or the expectations that you brought upon yourself.

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Speaker 4: I think everybody deals with that in one way, shape

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Speaker 4: or form. You know, like in your personal life, some

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Speaker 4: people might be in a relationship or in a situation

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Speaker 4: that they didn't necessarily see for themselves, or professionally, you

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Speaker 4: might see yourself in a position or career that you

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Speaker 4: didn't dream of, you know, like you're it's I feel

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Speaker 4: like everybody can relate to that in some area of

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Speaker 4: their life.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 2: There was another quote that she said in this part

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Speaker 2: where she talked about like how if you aren't she

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Speaker 2: said something along the lines of like, let if you're

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Speaker 2: not like growing in development or change in changing, then

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Speaker 2: you're not living.

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Speaker 3: You know, if you're not growing, you're staying stagnant.

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Speaker 2: It's true though, like growing.

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Speaker 4: Stay stagnant, well, staying stagnant feels safe, safe, like it

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Speaker 4: really is.

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Speaker 2: When you grow, you're uncomfortable growing, you get what do

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Speaker 2: you Why do they call it growing pains because it's uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: Exactly when you're growing, you're not comfortable. You're trying to

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Speaker 2: figure out, did I make the right decision? Am I?

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Speaker 2: Am I going forward in the right way? Am I

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Speaker 2: going to disappoint people? Am I gonna let people down?

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Speaker 2: It's like yeah, and it's gonna be uncomfortable, But what's

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Speaker 2: on the other side is living.

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Speaker 3: Living, and that's what we strive for.

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Speaker 2: And you also talked to about like how we don't

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Speaker 2: need any more selfless women, Like it might be what

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Speaker 2: you say, it might be like an efficient society, but

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Speaker 2: it's not a like.

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Speaker 3: Uh, thriving society.

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Speaker 2: It was something along the lines of like selflessness might

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Speaker 2: be like an efficient but it's not a true and

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Speaker 2: beautiful existence being selfless like always being the one who's

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Speaker 2: selfless as a woman.

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Speaker 5: It's true, selfless women make for an efficient society, but

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Speaker 5: not a beautiful true or just one horrible.

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Speaker 2: All the main points recoagulated, yes, yes, thank you, reimagined,

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Speaker 2: and then the next.

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Speaker 4: I found the chapter on ghosts very interesting because it's like,

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Speaker 4: basically how all of us women are, like we're trying

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Speaker 4: to be this perfect thing, this perfect all around perfect.

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Speaker 4: It reminded me of the Barbie movie in that monologue

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Speaker 4: of how like we all all want to every woman

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Speaker 4: has to look perfect and be perfect but not too

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Speaker 4: hot because you don't want to threaten other women and

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Speaker 4: that whole thing, and like that's what that chapter kind

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Speaker 4: of made me feel, Like we're all striving for this thing.

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Speaker 4: And she calls a ghost because it's like it's it's impossible,

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Speaker 4: we cannot be that, we are not perfect, and like

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Speaker 4: the minute we accept it, the better.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Makes me think of a song.

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Speaker 1: When did oh joy man.

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Speaker 3: Again tell man boy friend?

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Speaker 2: What was I made someone he's made for. It's not

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Speaker 2: what he's made for that song. Yeah. She also been

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Speaker 2: talked Ina let It Burn. She talked about how people

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Speaker 2: hold on to like their marriage.

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Speaker 3: I thought, you want a little back, but like.

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Speaker 2: In your ear, that like a ringing in your ear

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Speaker 2: that won't go away.

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Speaker 4: I thought.

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Speaker 2: I was like hearing that.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I thought it was like nice to have a

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Speaker 4: little bed under your breath.

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Speaker 2: That's not the kind of bed under my breath. But

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Speaker 2: she talked about how people hold onto their marriage for

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Speaker 2: the kids, you know, and she was like, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's like the most harmful thing you can do for

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Speaker 2: your kids, for them to witness you being miserable and

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Speaker 2: not living a life that you want. Yeah, And I

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Speaker 2: found that interesting. I grew up with my parents were

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Speaker 2: still together, so I'd never had that, but I've always

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Speaker 2: wondered I noticed more that people are like that used

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Speaker 2: to be such a reason for people to stay together

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Speaker 2: of like, oh, I want to do it for my kids.

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Speaker 3: I want to think it still is. There was that couple.

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Speaker 3: I feel it was a famous couple.

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Speaker 4: They were married for like I don't even know how

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Speaker 4: many years, and then their kids got out of the

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Speaker 4: house and then they divorced. I'm like, how sad that

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Speaker 4: you're just like counting down the years of your life,

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Speaker 4: which are precious, precious years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you feel that way with your parents?

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Speaker 6: Oh, that they were like trying to keep it together

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Speaker 6: for the Yeah? Uh so yeah for a few years. Yeah,

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Speaker 6: I felt that.

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Speaker 2: Like how old were you?

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Speaker 6: I was twelve when they divorced, So.

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Speaker 2: Were you like, like, did you notice that they're like

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Speaker 2: that they weren't happy or was it like, oh.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah definitely, And uh I I wanted them to

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Speaker 6: split up because they were unhappy, and my sister did

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Speaker 6: not want them too, so that was that was tough.

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Speaker 6: But but I I, yeah, I saw, I'm like, these

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Speaker 6: people aren't happy. Yeah, let them let them go live

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Speaker 6: their lives.

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Speaker 1: Kids pick up on that more than you think they do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what she.

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Speaker 2: Was talking about. Just like I think that people think

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Speaker 2: that the best thing they can do for their kids

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Speaker 2: is to stick it out and fake it and be happy.

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Speaker 2: But like, we're so like as humans, we develop and

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Speaker 2: we're so perceptive at such a younger age, and I

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Speaker 2: think we give ourselves and kids credit for Yeah that

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Speaker 2: it makes sense that at twelve years old, you're like

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Speaker 2: why are all like, go on and be happy, Like

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Speaker 2: this isn't funny.

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Speaker 3: You want to be happy. Her accident really came out

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Speaker 3: in there. Go on and be happy.

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Speaker 2: God get don't get now, go get get yourself out

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Speaker 2: of the house.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and what a lesson are you teaching your kids?

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Speaker 5: You're teaching your kids. Hey, if you're miserable in life,

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Speaker 5: just deal with it. Be miserable for as long as

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Speaker 5: you can. Yeah, that's not a good message, especially if

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Speaker 5: one of you is being mistreated by the other one. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: you want to show them. Just end up for yourself

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Speaker 5: and make your life a happy one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you only get one of them.

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Speaker 4: That's the overarching theme. Make your life a happy one.

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Speaker 4: We only have one life. There are no time, there

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Speaker 4: is no time to waste. I try to be very

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Speaker 4: prolific in that strong delivery.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you so much.

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Speaker 4: Well, before we go, I thought to cut or something.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean Easton, do you want to

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Speaker 2: tell them what happened?

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Speaker 1: Has a surprise?

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Speaker 2: Okay, we'll be back. Okay, we're back before Easton gets

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Speaker 2: to surprise. I feel like my issue with the book

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Speaker 2: club is that everything feels repetitive.

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Speaker 3: It all I love.

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Speaker 2: The overarching theme of this book, Like I love the

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Speaker 2: idea of like choosing your life and making it what

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Speaker 2: you want.

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Speaker 4: But I just feel like the more every episode we

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Speaker 4: do feels redundant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there are, yes, I agree with you. What I

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Speaker 3: think that we should do is we should.

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Speaker 4: Just keep reading until we find different things, like different

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Speaker 4: because I remember we haven't gotten there yet. But the

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Speaker 4: part where like there's a new woman in her husband's life,

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Speaker 4: in her kids' lives, and she's having to deal with

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Speaker 4: all these things.

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Speaker 3: Like, to me, that's super relatable because I'm like in

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Speaker 3: that situation.

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Speaker 5: Yea.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so like there are these things and maybe we

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Speaker 4: just like keep reading until specific things jump out at us.

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Speaker 2: I know that's what I'm saying, though, I just I

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Speaker 2: want to agnowledge that we know that this can feel repetitive,

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Speaker 2: but the book itself is so good and I think

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Speaker 2: there's so many nuggets of wisdom. I just don't want

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Speaker 2: people to be like this is exact same month. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: All right, Easton has a surprise.

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Speaker 6: Yes, I'm really excited about this. I'm a big crumble

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Speaker 6: cookie fan. I know that you shouldn't eat them every

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Speaker 6: day because they are very colerically high, but I enjoy them.

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Speaker 6: And this week a flavor jumped out at me. It

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Speaker 6: screamed about it, Tilly, I know you haven't had many

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Speaker 6: of these. I have it, so I want to do

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Speaker 6: a taste tests the flavor. It is strawberry cream featuring

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Speaker 6: pop tarts.

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Speaker 3: Wait, let me see you on, let me see you

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Speaker 3: chir pop part.

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Speaker 2: Crumbles on the cookie.

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Speaker 6: It's frosted strawberry. It's breakfast with the pop, a buttery

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Speaker 6: cookie packed with strawberry filling and covered in a pool

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Speaker 6: of melted white chips, crushed frosted strawberry pop tarts and

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Speaker 6: flaky rainbow sugar. Oh my god, that is available now

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Speaker 6: as you're hearing this. You can get this cookie for

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Speaker 6: three more days.

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Speaker 5: Oh Becca, if you keep doing the book club episode,

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Speaker 5: still bring you a special crumble cookie every week.

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Speaker 6: Will you read the book, you get a cookie?

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Speaker 2: It is And all I had today is celsius and

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Speaker 2: small thing to.

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Speaker 4: Do.

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Speaker 2: We have a fork.

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Speaker 6: Pick that up with your mitt and just take a

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Speaker 6: big old chomp.

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Speaker 2: I'll break into that. Oh my gosh, this looks incredible.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, oh my goodness, it's inside it's full of stuff.

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Speaker 6: Pick is chewing.

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Speaker 1: Me so funny.

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Speaker 2: People, this is for you.

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Speaker 3: Chew into the mics.

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Speaker 1: It's not gross to some people. It's gross.

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Speaker 6: Some people like it.

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Speaker 1: There's the A S M R crowd.

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Speaker 2: It is incredible. The cookie is so soft, there's like

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Speaker 2: a jam inside.

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Speaker 3: You pass it over jam.

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Speaker 1: That makes me so happy.

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Speaker 6: I was really afraid.

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Speaker 2: Chunks on top is absolutely delectable. Do you know we

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Speaker 2: should pitch crumble? What a buttered pop tart?

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Speaker 6: Buttered pop tart? That is a brilliant idea.

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Speaker 2: I love antonia. Try something I'm like to.

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Speaker 1: Oh heavens.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, are we getting thumbs up across the board?

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Speaker 3: Do you know what kind of tastes like?

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Speaker 4: I don't know what kind of cookie this is called,

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Speaker 4: but they're powdered sugar around the outside and there's like

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Speaker 4: a raspberry jam around the inside. Yeah, it's like a

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Speaker 4: it's like a vanilla cookie with just like the raspberry jam.

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Speaker 4: It kind of reminds me of that a little bit.

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Speaker 4: That's one of my favorite cookies. I could see that

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Speaker 4: actually had one this weekend when I was hungover.

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Speaker 2: That is so good. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready to go for another hour.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's talk about taking control of your life. For

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Speaker 2: another hour.

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Speaker 3: Becca is gonna come.

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Speaker 4: Okay, next week, we're gonna just read until we find

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Speaker 4: something that strikes us.

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Speaker 1: Signing chapters for next week.

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Speaker 3: A sign chapter? What's the eyes?

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Speaker 2: You don't anything strike strikes you?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: How long does that take?

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Speaker 3: Hopefully not long.

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Speaker 4: You're not giving chapters.

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Speaker 3: Listening to what your book club definition is? Okay, this

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Speaker 3: is our book club. I'm not gonna let a man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, take your patriarchal book club and send it over

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Speaker 4: to SmartLess.

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Speaker 3: We here shrubbing in, do it our way, and this

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Speaker 3: is how we want to do it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, But just I don't know that anyone's actually following

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Speaker 2: with the parts that we're doing.

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Speaker 3: Some people may be, but that's maybe. But that's okay.

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Speaker 6: Wait, so are people supposed to read until something strikes them?

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Speaker 3: Exactly?

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Speaker 4: Stop reading and then come back next week and see

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Speaker 4: if it struck us to.

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Speaker 2: I knew this would happen. I was trying to do

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Speaker 2: a book club a turn in too complete pocastrophe because

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Speaker 2: Johnny wants to do it her modern woman way does

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Speaker 2: not work. It does work?

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Speaker 3: Who says it doesn't work? There's no Glenn.

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Speaker 2: We're never getting Glenden.

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Speaker 3: There's no right or wrong. In book clubs, we do

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Speaker 3: it the way we want to do it. That's the

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Speaker 3: beauty of this podcast.

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Speaker 2: It is ours.

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Speaker 1: I think, just read the next three chaps and then

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Speaker 1: we'll see what happens.

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Speaker 3: But what if nothing strikes system? We just throw in

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Speaker 3: the towel next week?

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, we're just talking about the same thing.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, you read the end?

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Speaker 3: Okay, fine, okay, fine, No, I you what?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 3: Next week? Ten chapters?

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Speaker 2: Wowow, I am not doing that, too bad. I'm not

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Speaker 2: doing that, Debbie. I'm not too bad, Debbie, Deborah, Debbie Downer,

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Speaker 2: I am not doing that.

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Speaker 3: What do you project?

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Speaker 2: Five?

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Speaker 3: Max suggest?

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Speaker 2: I'll do five Max. There's no way.

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Speaker 3: We're going to do what the difference at seven?

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Speaker 2: Not? No, No, we're not doing.

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Speaker 3: It's in favor of five, say.

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Speaker 4: I, I's in favor of seven, say I. I.

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Speaker 2: We're tired.

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Speaker 3: Mikayla.

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Speaker 2: No, Mikayla.

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Speaker 3: Easton, you didn't.

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Speaker 4: Vote for either of them.

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Speaker 6: I haven't been reading the book. I feel like I

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Speaker 6: can't vote.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if someone was telling you what how many

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Speaker 2: chapters to read about? You've heard so far?

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Speaker 3: I hate you all.

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Speaker 2: I don't get how you want to cover ten chapters.

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Speaker 2: In one of these episodes.

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Speaker 3: We only talk. We don't have to recap every chapter.

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Speaker 4: We just recap what strikes emotion or is relatable and

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Speaker 4: that we feel like our listeners can relate to.

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Speaker 1: That's it.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna need to close up of that faces.

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Speaker 3: It's time to go five chapters. We'll discuss this in

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Speaker 3: our meeting.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to tell them I want to should just

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Speaker 2: say meeting. We're not having a meeting, fy I. We'll

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Speaker 2: do smiles to terms.

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Speaker 3: Okay, talk to you next week