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Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to the peril Markoi Show on iHeartRadio.

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Speaker 1: The dating monologues continue to be popular in both my

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Speaker 1: mentions and my messages. A listener wrote out a list

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Speaker 1: of suggestions for people hoping to meet someone. I particularly

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Speaker 1: like these two points. First, identify the kind of mate

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Speaker 1: you want. Then transform yourself into the kind of person

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Speaker 1: who would make a good mate for him her. Maybe

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Speaker 1: that fails too because your concept of the best mate

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Speaker 1: wasn't fully developed. That's part of the learning and maturing process.

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Speaker 1: Then you readjust your perception of what is optimal, remake

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Speaker 1: yourself again, try again until you get it right. You

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Speaker 1: become a better person in the process, and second, become

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Speaker 1: the most happy, content sociable, fulfilled, et cetera person you

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Speaker 1: can be without a partner, and even the best of marriages,

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Speaker 1: you don't cease to be an individual, nor does your partner.

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Speaker 1: Both pretty good on your own than your expectations and

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Speaker 1: needs from each other are lower, therefore increasing the success.

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Speaker 1: So a lot of this stuff is not rocket science.

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Speaker 1: As I've said before, and even on TikTok you can

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Speaker 1: hear that working on yourself is a good thing to do,

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Speaker 1: but it's important to say out loud, and I particularly

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Speaker 1: liked how he says your idea of the perfect mate

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Speaker 1: isn't fully developed.

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Speaker 2: You don't really.

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Speaker 1: Know what you want sometimes a lot of the time,

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Speaker 1: and that hinders people from finding what they actually need.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the many problems with the swiping culture.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, a lot of this advice is aimed

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Speaker 1: at women, but men need to get that advice too.

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Speaker 1: What you're attracted to in a picture won't necessarily be

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Speaker 1: what attracts you in real life.

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Speaker 3: A lot of the time, the.

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Speaker 1: People I hear from want to help someone else, often

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Speaker 1: their grown child, but sometimes a friend or a family

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Speaker 1: member find someone. Now, obviously that's a tough thing to do.

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Speaker 1: Helping others with this kind of thing is even harder

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Speaker 1: than helping yourself. If you're trying to help someone else,

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Speaker 1: advise them to go easier on themselves. It's so easy

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Speaker 1: to get into that spiral of you know, no one

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Speaker 1: will ever want me, et cetera. A lot of life

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Speaker 1: is luck, and a lot of the rest of it

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Speaker 1: is putting yourself in the right situation to get lucky.

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Speaker 1: This isn't a dating podcast, so I'll wrap up the

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Speaker 1: dating segments here, but it is a show about living

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Speaker 1: a better life, and I pretty firmly believe that finding

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Speaker 1: someone to spend your life with makes it better. If

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Speaker 1: you've got thoughts, drop me an email. Carol Markowitz Show

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Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. It's Ka R O L M A.

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Speaker 1: R kow I c As and Charlie Zias and Zebra's

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Speaker 1: Show at gmail dot com. Coming up next and interview

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Speaker 1: with Blake Nelson. Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show

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Speaker 1: on iHeartRadio. Blake Nelson is the author of many adult

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Speaker 1: and young adult novels. His many titles include which was

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Speaker 1: serialized by Sassy Magazine, My Favorite When I Was a

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Speaker 1: Teen to Great Acclaim, Paranoid Park, which was made into

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Speaker 1: a film by Gus Vincent, and Recovery Road, which was

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Speaker 1: adapted into a TV show for ABC Disney.

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Speaker 3: In twenty sixteen. He currently writes travel and memoir pieces

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Speaker 3: on his Fantastic subsetac page Travels to Distant Cities. Hi, Blake,

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Speaker 3: so nice to have you on.

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Speaker 2: Oh great to be on. Nice to see it, Carol.

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Speaker 3: Really good to see you too. Can I tell the

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Speaker 3: story of how we met?

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Speaker 2: Is that sare okay?

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Speaker 3: Do you know what you know? So it was funny.

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Speaker 1: I met a woman on Twitter, right, Julia Malucci, and.

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Speaker 3: We hit it off.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't even remember how we scott

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Speaker 1: to talking, but I looked up that she had written

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Speaker 1: a book I loved and lost and made spaghetti and

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Speaker 1: I read the book and.

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Speaker 3: She and I were going out for a drink and.

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Speaker 1: I said, you know, I think one of the guys

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Speaker 1: in your book it was a book about like.

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Speaker 3: Love affairs she had had.

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Speaker 1: I said, I think I know one of the guys

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Speaker 1: in your book is Is it Blake Nelson? And she

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Speaker 1: said we were out for a drink and she said, yes,

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Speaker 1: it is.

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Speaker 3: And he's meeting us here in ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, Blake Nelson my favorite writer, and

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Speaker 1: so I you know, sometimes I hold up a book

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Speaker 1: I'm about to like.

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Speaker 3: I have many Blake Nelson books. I am obviously huge,

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Speaker 3: huge fan.

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Speaker 1: I have The City Once You Alone on my nightstand

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Speaker 1: that it's in the cue for me to read. So

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Speaker 1: that's why it's not that stat extra showed. But you

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Speaker 1: are a long time, very much one of my favorite writers.

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Speaker 3: I read everything. You're right, and I'm so happy to

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Speaker 3: have you on the show.

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Speaker 2: No thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: And you know, when I was talking to Julia, it

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Speaker 1: was just funny that I was able to figure out

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Speaker 1: who you were based on her description of Portland music

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Speaker 1: writer guy. And so tell us a little bit about

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Speaker 1: how you got to, you know, having seventeen thousand books

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Speaker 1: on my shelf.

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Speaker 2: Well, I just I was a musician when I was

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Speaker 2: a teenager and in my beIN in college and uh

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Speaker 2: and I but I love to write. I always love

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Speaker 2: to write, and so writing and music were my two

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Speaker 2: favorite things. And when I got sort of kind of

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Speaker 2: deep into the music world, I kind of felt like

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Speaker 2: I had to make a choice if I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be a writer or a musician. And I'd seen I'd played.

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Speaker 3: A terrible decision.

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Speaker 2: I know, how did you choose that?

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Speaker 3: I would definitely music?

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Speaker 2: And I just chose it based on the fact that

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Speaker 2: I thought I'd be doing it for my whole life.

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Speaker 2: And I thought the music thing is super fun when

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Speaker 2: you're twenty one, and but but doing it forever would

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Speaker 2: just be kind of a slog I thought. And I'd

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Speaker 2: seen the life, you know, I'd played clubs, I'd played

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Speaker 2: with bigger bands that I could see what it was

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Speaker 2: like to be successful in that world, and I just

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Speaker 2: thought being a writer would be more interesting, and I

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Speaker 2: thought it would last longer. I felt like, you know,

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Speaker 2: people take writer seriously when they're in their forties and fifties,

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Speaker 2: and nobody.

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Speaker 1: Take it like, you know, Mick Jagger is still jumping

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Speaker 1: around the stage and he's like eighty, so I'm in

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Speaker 1: my forties. I saw Mick Jagger the Rolling Stones play

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Speaker 1: when I was in college collegames a long time ago,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, ooh, these guys are too old

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Speaker 1: and they're still playing today right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so you could have.

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Speaker 3: Had a long, illustrious musical career if you had done

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Speaker 3: it slightly.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe most musical careers are not do not

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Speaker 2: go like the Rolling Stones. Most musical careers. And I

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Speaker 2: saw myself as a musician. You have a kind of

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Speaker 2: breakout and have like maybe a big record or something,

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Speaker 2: and then you kind of just try to hang around

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Speaker 2: as long as you can. And I see bands that

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Speaker 2: were my contemporaries and they're playing in small clubs now.

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Speaker 2: You know, these great bands like the Psychedelic Firs just

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Speaker 2: played in a club in Portland, and I'm really glad

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Speaker 2: I became a writer. I don't want to be writer

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Speaker 2: the right.

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Speaker 1: Decision making yes, no other pants for you at the stage.

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Speaker 2: And also as a writer you're kind of always doing

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Speaker 2: new things, whereas in music, if you kind of have hits,

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Speaker 2: then you just really got to do the hits. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I just thought it would be more interesting. I

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Speaker 2: thought it would just I didn't know. And at the

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Speaker 2: time I was doing music, like every every kind of

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Speaker 2: cool person did music, and I thought, don't we need

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Speaker 2: some cool people?

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Speaker 3: Yes, we did, We did need that.

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Speaker 2: And so and that really turned out to be right

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Speaker 2: because when I read wrote Girl, the book you were

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Speaker 2: that you were saying talking about nobody really wrote a

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Speaker 2: good book about that world. No, So I felt like,

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Speaker 2: you know, in one sense that just on the basis

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Speaker 2: of that one book, my sort of gampit to try to,

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Speaker 2: you know, to try to do something interesting in the

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Speaker 2: literary world. You know, it was worth it, because really

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Speaker 2: there wasn't. If there wasn't that book, you know, that's

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Speaker 2: kind of the best potent if you want to know

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Speaker 2: about that scene the nineties Northwest, that was a significant

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Speaker 2: cultural moment. Yeah, and it really isn't that, you know,

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Speaker 2: there's not really a good novel about it except for

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Speaker 2: why right there really was Eddy, There isn't any novels

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Speaker 2: about it, and so that's right.

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Speaker 1: We'll have more coming up with Blake Nelson, but first,

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Speaker 1: it's funny with this show, I sort of have started

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Speaker 1: to describe it as I ask political people non political questions.

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Speaker 3: But you're not a political person. You're just somebody I

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Speaker 3: think is interesting and.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to have on the show where you did

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Speaker 1: have a bit of a political controversy with a book

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Speaker 1: a few books ago.

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Speaker 3: Now right, two books ago.

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Speaker 1: Your book was called The Red Pill and it was

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Speaker 1: about the dating kind of guys, the what are they.

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Speaker 2: Called the manosphere?

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Speaker 1: The manosphere, I think on the pickups, the pickup pickup artists.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, can you you know.

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Speaker 1: And you got some pushback and you had some protests

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Speaker 1: at bookstores, but I didn't feel that you.

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Speaker 3: Were glamorizing them at all.

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Speaker 1: I didn't think that, Like I didn't read that book

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Speaker 1: and think, oh, I hope my son grows up to

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Speaker 1: be one of these guys either. So what what was

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Speaker 1: that like for you to have that kind of controversy

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Speaker 1: not a political person, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm not really in the book. I named

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Speaker 2: the book the Red Pill because the book was so

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Speaker 2: he was so non political. It was about his family

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Speaker 2: that was they kind of went through. This is just

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Speaker 2: a story of a family during the time of the

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Speaker 2: year before Trump got elected, in the year after Trump

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Speaker 2: got elected, so it was kind of which was a

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Speaker 2: very storm me weird time, and families were kind of

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Speaker 2: families that, you know, normal families will often have conservatives liberals,

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Speaker 2: right at that moment for the first time that was

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Speaker 2: really causing problems with families, and so that's what the

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Speaker 2: book was about. The book was about a family of

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Speaker 2: fairly normal, up er, middle class, liberal, arts educated people.

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Speaker 2: But one of the guys in the family was kind

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Speaker 2: of a manisphere guy, and one of the other people

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Speaker 2: in the family was trying to get married and was

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Speaker 2: having a terrible time. So the manisphere guy tries to

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Speaker 2: help the guy wants to get married, and it was

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Speaker 2: very funny, yeah, hilarity exactly, but it was also a

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Speaker 2: pretty serious look at that time. And I thought it

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Speaker 2: was great. I know, I thought it was going to

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Speaker 2: be a big hit or something like, I thought it

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Speaker 2: was my house. Yeah, So, but I bet it did

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Speaker 2: get a lot of pushback. People didn't want to hear

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Speaker 2: anything about Trump. And I handled the Trump thing completely objective.

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Speaker 2: It was a lot about Trump, it was not about

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Speaker 2: any of that stuff. But but it just didn't ay

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Speaker 2: red Pill. I've got people really upset and and it

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Speaker 2: was again that was that really affected me. I had

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Speaker 2: to sort to deal with that. It was it kind

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Speaker 2: of that kind of pushed me into the substack world

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Speaker 2: where I, you know, which is the only real place.

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Speaker 2: I felt like I could pursue something else, and you know,

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Speaker 2: and eventually I started writing the Travel Staff and then

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Speaker 2: and then that's turned out really well. So yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Loved your I love your travel writings and hearing about

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Speaker 1: the different places. Actually your recent one of your recent

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Speaker 1: ones was about Julia's memoir where.

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Speaker 2: She mentioned you.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, this is how we we

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Speaker 1: first met.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. A question I.

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Speaker 3: Asked all of my guests is what do you worry about?

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Speaker 2: Well, I just worry about the world in general. Uh

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Speaker 2: you know, I as as things crank up and get

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Speaker 2: more uh interesting, shall we say, Uh, Like two years ago,

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Speaker 2: I was more worried. And now that everybody else is worried,

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Speaker 2: if everybody else is free, dad that I can relax. Right.

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Speaker 2: It's so in a weird way, I'm not that concerned

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Speaker 2: about this Coverlent election, and everybody else is very worried

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Speaker 2: about it. In Portland, they're you know, gearing up the

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Speaker 2: police force and putting unsensires for the stuff and.

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Speaker 1: For the Trump supporters who are going to riot, right, well,

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Speaker 1: I think that they did well.

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Speaker 3: Yes, not a lot of Trump supporters in Portland, right right.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, the anti foot right there, their concerns that.

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Speaker 2: They're very active here. We see them, you know, they

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Speaker 2: they come out when uh, they might make an appearance.

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Speaker 2: But you know what, usually, as I noticed in the

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Speaker 2: years when the we'd have these riots, that one summer

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Speaker 2: we had riots every night. The more the media tells

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Speaker 2: you there's going to be a riot, there's less chances. Interesting, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: when everybody gets all geared up, right, nothing happens.

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Speaker 3: I think that you.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry when everybody else is worried, but you worry

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Speaker 1: when nobody else is worried.

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Speaker 2: Or is that WEIRDO?

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Speaker 1: I don't think you would write ya stuff, you know,

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Speaker 1: young adult novels, so you are speaking to teenagers a

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Speaker 1: lot of the time anyway, But what advice would you

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Speaker 1: give a sixteen year old Blake Nelson?

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Speaker 3: How would you do things differently? Or what should he know?

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Speaker 2: Wow? You know, I don't know. You know, one thing

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Speaker 2: in my particular case, the thing about the music and

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Speaker 2: the writing. You know, music is a lot less political

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Speaker 2: so if I wanted to have a nice, long career

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Speaker 2: in the arts, maybe music would have been the better choice.

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Speaker 2: Because now, you know, in a climate where politics is

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Speaker 2: really important, then they're being a writer, it becomes much

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Speaker 2: more dicey and so I but this has only happened recently.

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Speaker 2: So for most of my writing career, I was I

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Speaker 2: was faring. So but yeah, I would say tell my

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Speaker 2: young self, just do you know, just follow your instincts,

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Speaker 2: which is what I did, and just enjoy it. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm a warrior and I you know, and it was

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Speaker 2: obviously being a writer is very difficult that you know,

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Speaker 2: you have to get rejected a ton and you have

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Speaker 2: to you know, my career had wild ups and downs.

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Speaker 1: We'll have more coming up with Blake Nelson. But first

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Speaker 1: October seventh was the one year mark of the worst

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Speaker 1: massacre of the Jewish people since the Holocaust. Twelve hundred

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Speaker 1: Israelis were murdered and more than two hundred and fifty

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Speaker 1: taken hostage. The war in Israel rages on today. Israel

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Speaker 1: and the Jewish people are facing attacks from enemies on

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Speaker 1: all sides seeking Israel's destruction. The International Fellowship of Christians

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Speaker 1: and Jews is on the ground providing food, shelter, and

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Speaker 1: safety to those in need during this crisis. Since the

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Speaker 1: war started, there are reservists every day is Raeli citizens

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Speaker 1: who have left families behind to serve their country, soldiers

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Speaker 1: who have been injured, and their families need support. Your

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Speaker 1: gift of one hundred and fifty dollars today helps the

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Speaker 1: Fellowship provide food and other necessities to these families to

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Speaker 1: help them survive, and thanks to a generous Fellowship supporter,

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Speaker 1: your gift will be matched to double an impact. Join

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Speaker 1: us and letting those families.

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Speaker 3: Know that listeners like you stand with Israel.

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Speaker 1: Call to make your one hundred and fifty dollars gift

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Speaker 1: right now at eight eight eight four eight eight IFCJ

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Speaker 1: that's eight eight eight four eight eight four three two five,

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Speaker 1: or go online to support IFCJ dot org to give

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Speaker 1: that's one word support IFCJ dot org.

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Speaker 3: You like to write.

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Speaker 1: About like what's your You know, I know that you

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Speaker 1: like like music and sort of talking to the teens,

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Speaker 1: But do you have like what you consider your passion Like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. Well, I really loved writing the

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Speaker 2: young adult books. I kind of got forced into writing

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Speaker 2: the young adult books because I was having trouble getting

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Speaker 2: my adult stuff published. After those first couple of books,

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Speaker 2: I kind of hit a wall with that. So then

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Speaker 2: I started writing YA books. And at first I was

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Speaker 2: kind of annoyed, like I don't want to write WYA books.

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Speaker 2: I want to be a famous writer, Like, oh, that's

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Speaker 2: you know, coming away. But I found that I really

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Speaker 2: liked writing about teenagers and the stuff that you go

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Speaker 2: through at that age. And I felt like teenagers are

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Speaker 2: kind of more themselves than adults are, you know, because

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Speaker 2: they're kind of they're becoming themselves, and they're way more idealistic,

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Speaker 2: and they're more uh, they're more like focused as personalities.

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Speaker 2: They don't have to call they haven't they haven't compromised

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Speaker 2: away all themselves yet and uh and you know, in

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Speaker 2: the in the draw and the romantic dramas they go

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Speaker 2: through are kind of pure in a way because it's

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Speaker 2: the first time they're going through it. And I just

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Speaker 2: I just loved it. I just really love doing it.

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Speaker 2: And uh, and I'm one of those people that I

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Speaker 2: kind of I didn't ever really mature. I never so

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Speaker 2: it's always was very close to my heart and it

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Speaker 2: was just fine I really and it turned out I

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Speaker 2: loved it doing it, and uh, and then and then

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Speaker 2: it turned out, you know, I got it movies and

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Speaker 2: you know, it just was a good place for me.

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Speaker 3: And then, what do you like about being on sub sect?

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Speaker 1: I'm not like I'm on it, and I do send

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Speaker 1: out an occasional thing, but I can't say that I've

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Speaker 1: I understand it yet.

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Speaker 3: I feel a little old for it.

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Speaker 1: All my young friends are like, you should be on substack,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, I don't get it.

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Speaker 3: So you see, you do get it. Tell me about it.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know the thing I did on it is

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Speaker 2: I just I just developed. I'm a columnist on Substack.

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Speaker 2: Every Saturday at three pm, I put out one of

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Speaker 2: my travel pieces. Travel pieces, don't yes, because I do

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Speaker 2: that on a regular basis. I can't always write about travel,

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Speaker 2: so I have to write about other things also, And

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Speaker 2: I've kind of just led myself adjust to the schedule

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Speaker 2: of it. And I kind of always when I was

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Speaker 2: a kid, I always wanted to be I love columnists.

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Speaker 2: I loved it's the same person and you could tell

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Speaker 2: when they were bored, you could tell what they did

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Speaker 2: really want to write the column.

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Speaker 3: As a columnist. I find that bar.

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Speaker 2: Being yeah, yeah, and yeah, so you should know that pattern.

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Speaker 2: But uh yeah, I feel like that, and I feel

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Speaker 2: like I I feel like in the Rolling Stones and

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Speaker 2: the Beatles in those early days in the sixties, those

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Speaker 2: bands would put out singles like all the time, like

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Speaker 2: very quickly. You're not not once a week obviously, but

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Speaker 2: I love that idea. I love like, oh, this week's

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Speaker 2: Colin didn't really hit Oh, but that Colin really did.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe I can. It's just this way or

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Speaker 2: that way you have just and that's what and that's

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Speaker 2: what substack is fun for because you get this instant feedback.

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Speaker 2: You you know, if you're lucky, you start to develop

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Speaker 2: a following. Like I now have enough fans or subscribers

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Speaker 2: that I really get a broad you know, I can

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Speaker 2: kind of tell like what the older people like, I

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Speaker 2: can the kids sort of like this stuff. And it's

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Speaker 2: really fun and it's really interactive. I really enjoy it.

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Speaker 2: When I had to kind of retire from the book business,

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Speaker 2: I really did. I can't really imagine myself published at

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Speaker 2: Simon and Schuster, Random House or something like that, which

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Speaker 2: is how I made my living for you know, all

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Speaker 2: my adult life, but says, I can't do that. I

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Speaker 2: really didn't know if there would be anything I could

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Speaker 2: do that would be fun or rewarding, or should I

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Speaker 2: just stop writing completely and learn how to make chairs

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Speaker 2: or something, you know, Like, I really didn't know what

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Speaker 2: to what to do. And I stumbled into substack and

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Speaker 2: I just started writing up. And I I loved writing

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Speaker 2: travel stuff. Early in my career. I'd written some travel

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Speaker 2: articles for Details magazine. Yeah that was really fun, and

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Speaker 2: they would pay you lots of money in those days.

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Speaker 3: And imagine getting paid lots of money to write that's.

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Speaker 2: Crazy, no way, Oh my god, it's amazing. But so

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Speaker 2: I just thought, and you know what, there's I love

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Speaker 2: reading travel stuff, but there's almost no good travel stuff. Really.

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Speaker 2: I don't like most travel writing in magazines or you know,

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Speaker 2: like in New York Times, and it's not very good.

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Speaker 2: It's just boring. People writers put on this tone when

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Speaker 2: they're writing a travel piece, like oh, the sun set

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Speaker 2: over Egypt. You know, it's just this really boring. And

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Speaker 2: I and I was really the true you know yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: yeah exactly, oh yeah, that's the classic what was Axui driver?

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Speaker 2: And I really was determined I'm gonna, like, if nothing else,

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Speaker 2: I'm going to get a different kind of voice to

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Speaker 2: do travel stuff where it's going to be it's as

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Speaker 2: if you're standing you're sitting next to me, and I'm

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Speaker 2: just talking ship and just saying whatever and uh and

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Speaker 2: you know, making fun of things and uh it's I've

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Speaker 2: really and that's kind of worked and uh so the

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Speaker 2: substack has its Uh, I've kind of established a tone

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Speaker 2: of voice, which is what you're always trying to do

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Speaker 2: as a right You're always trying to get a recognizable

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Speaker 2: and it isn't like exactly what I think always, but

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Speaker 2: it's but it's a voice and it works, and it's uh,

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Speaker 2: I really enjoy it. I love sitting down. I love

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Speaker 2: it when I send in the you know what I

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Speaker 2: pit sind Oh yeah. And then I started working on

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Speaker 2: the next one, and you're you know what am I

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Speaker 2: going to do? Sometimes I don't have a good win,

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Speaker 2: you know, so I have to throw something together. And

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Speaker 2: I'm sure you bet you all this, but I really

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Speaker 2: like it. And because you're on a schedule, you can't

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Speaker 2: be a perfectionist. You can't like worry about stuff too much.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, and I've been a big fan of your

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Speaker 2: work and I love I love the New York Post.

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Speaker 2: The New York Post is are you trying to get

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Speaker 2: UFE full together? Exactly?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, I've loved this conversation. He's Blake Nelson. His

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Speaker 1: subsect page is called Travels to Distant Cities. You have

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Speaker 1: to check it out. But if you're looking to read

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Speaker 1: some of his books, start with Girl. It's really among

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Speaker 1: my favorites. And here Blake with your best tip for

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Speaker 1: my listeners on how they can improve their lives.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know, I go for walks. I just go

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Speaker 2: for a walk, heavy night, forty five minutes fortes. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm a long one.

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Speaker 3: Constitutional Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And you know, find cool places in your neighborhood. Explore

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Speaker 2: your neighborhood. You know, I live in Portland where I

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Speaker 2: grew up. Sometimes I drive places to go for a

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Speaker 2: walk in the place I used to live or something.

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Speaker 2: So walking that's product.

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Speaker 3: All right, we'll take you up on that. Thank you

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Speaker 3: so much, Blake Nelson. Check them out.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Thanks, thanks so much for joining us on

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Speaker 1: the Carol Mark which show. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.