WEBVTT - Shift Happens Feat. Letoya Luckett

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what.

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<v Speaker 2>We just announced our twenty twenty two good Mom's Retreat

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<v Speaker 2>and our favorite place to Vaca Costa Rica.

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<v Speaker 1>And no, you do not have to be a mama

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<v Speaker 1>to kick it. You can just be a woman who

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<v Speaker 1>just needs to take some time for herself, that wants

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<v Speaker 1>to get back to herself, that wants to have some fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Get away from your kids, your husband, your boyfriend, your family, America.

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<v Speaker 2>Do a little healing, go deep within, go deep dive

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<v Speaker 2>into the Caribbean oceans, and come have fun with us.

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<v Speaker 1>So be the first to find out when the details

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<v Speaker 1>go up on our site by clicking the link in

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<v Speaker 1>this episode description. Trust me, these are going to go quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>We're only going to be able to accommodate twenty to

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<v Speaker 1>twenty five women on this trip, so if you want

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<v Speaker 1>to be one of those women, make sure you sign

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<v Speaker 1>up for more information and click the link in this

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<v Speaker 1>episode description. Can't wait to see you guys on the

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<v Speaker 1>other side.

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<v Speaker 2>What's up, Tribe, Welcome back to Mindful March. This week's

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<v Speaker 2>episode is brought to you by Christine Michelle Carter. That's right,

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<v Speaker 2>our girl believes so much in self love and mindfulness

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<v Speaker 2>that she sponsored this episode Not.

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<v Speaker 1>Only that, but she wrote a beautiful.

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<v Speaker 2>And unapologetic memoir about self love and leaving a toxic

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<v Speaker 2>relationship called mom AF. Let me tell you, if you

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<v Speaker 2>read anything this month, let it be mom AF. It's real,

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<v Speaker 2>it's raw, it's hilarious, and it will help you understand

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<v Speaker 2>more about relationships, marriage, and most importantly, yourself. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>good moms love a real, raw, funny, unapologetic mama, and

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<v Speaker 2>Christine Michelle is that. If you haven't checked out our

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<v Speaker 2>episode with her, it's called Divorced AF. But please go

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<v Speaker 2>pick up MOMAF on Kindle or on Christine Michellecarter dot com,

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<v Speaker 2>where you can read an entire chapter for free. That's right,

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<v Speaker 2>you can read an entire chapter free on Christine Michelle

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<v Speaker 2>Carter dot com. And you don't want to miss this

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<v Speaker 2>inspirational book. Do yourself a favor and pick up mom afday.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm Erica and I'm Mela and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday

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<v Speaker 2>party people, Happy hump day, y'all.

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<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling, my love? I'm good. My neck

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<v Speaker 1>is kind of fucked up right now, I like I

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<v Speaker 1>can't really turn to the last like move my whole body. Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>I know I woke up with a a thing. Am

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<v Speaker 1>I a crank at my neck? And you know what?

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<v Speaker 1>I was talking to my friend the other day and

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<v Speaker 1>she her lung collapsed while I was in New York,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, how's your collapse lung? And she's like,

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<v Speaker 1>how's your neck? I was like, bitch, are we old? No,

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<v Speaker 1>let me let me say a conversation that we're having.

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<v Speaker 1>My friend here, she's so she's Reila thinks on my hypochondriac,

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<v Speaker 1>but she always has something wrong. Last week were in

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<v Speaker 1>New York. She's like she had a little she was

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<v Speaker 1>having a little wheezing.

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<v Speaker 2>And then her friend's was it a little wheezing? Her

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<v Speaker 2>friend's lung collapse and she's like, I think my lun

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<v Speaker 2>collapse too. I'm like, Erica, relaxed.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would I make it because you know, one friend

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<v Speaker 1>who's lung collapse doesn't mean your lung collapse. And then

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<v Speaker 1>I had another friend know that my friend downplays my

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<v Speaker 1>there's something all the time. And then we have another

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<v Speaker 1>friend something else happened. Then she's like, I think that's

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<v Speaker 1>what I have. I'm like, bitch, you can't keep diagnosing

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<v Speaker 1>yourself based on your friend's ailment. But then I went.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I went and they were like, you have a

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<v Speaker 1>sinus infection. So I did have something, okay, but it

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't a collapse lung. Okay, but I literally can't move

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<v Speaker 1>my neck. You think you think I'm just making it up.

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<v Speaker 1>I know yesterday she had a Luna like massaging the

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<v Speaker 1>shit out of her back. Lena's like, I'm a missus.

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<v Speaker 1>Now I need you to believe moms. Okay, I do

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<v Speaker 1>believe you, friend, But I just I do believe you.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I noticed? I was thinking because you were.

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<v Speaker 1>I was on the with you, and She's like telling

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<v Speaker 1>me about her new ailment, and I was like, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't really get sick that often.

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<v Speaker 2>I feel like I've been sick like two times in

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<v Speaker 2>the last four years.

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<v Speaker 1>Household cough or whatever you call it was four months

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<v Speaker 1>straight you were coughing. That was about that. It was

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<v Speaker 1>a household and I just because I didn't go to

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor. That's true. That was one time in four years. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm fine to answer your question. Oh good, I have

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<v Speaker 1>to ibuprofen, so it should be kicking in any moment.

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<v Speaker 2>Between this, Rose and Ivy Profrien. Yeah, I'm doing good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's been a smooth, smoothish week. We've had some ups

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<v Speaker 2>and downs.

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<v Speaker 1>We had a little racism prejudice incident, our first, like

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<v Speaker 1>discrimination against us in business, not our first. I'm sure.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure there's been.

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<v Speaker 2>Many, but this was the most. This was the most blatant,

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<v Speaker 2>and it was a little bit disappointing. But you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when you're a badass bitch making money moves in a

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<v Speaker 2>new space, then this is what happens. Men will tell

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<v Speaker 2>you now and then you keep going. So today's the

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<v Speaker 2>day we keep going and we stop complaining about it,

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<v Speaker 2>because we did that for about twenty four hours, yep,

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<v Speaker 2>and now it's over and we're moving on.

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<v Speaker 1>We are. It's a lesson learned, for sure. It is.

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<v Speaker 1>It is well. I want to get straight to it

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<v Speaker 1>because we have a special guest here today and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>some of the fucking excited I've been like telling my

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<v Speaker 1>friends and there I'm like, bitch, oh, like I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think you know how excited I was, And she's like

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<v Speaker 1>me relax. I'm like, okay, fine, we have LaToya Luckett here.

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<v Speaker 1>She is authors sanger, just boss mama, just so beautiful,

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<v Speaker 1>just like maybe it was a mattress girl crushed. Possibly

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<v Speaker 1>whoa wow. I swear way to make our guests uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>Uncomfortable When I was eighteen, I liked you a lot

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<v Speaker 1>more than just friends. No, it was more like it

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<v Speaker 1>was more like twelve. But you know, the first one, LaToya,

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<v Speaker 1>she hasn't very excited. I don't think I've ever seen

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<v Speaker 1>her this excited for a guest. I'm like, you really

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<v Speaker 1>do need to contest wonderful I have a special outfit on.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, well, why didn't you tell me we're

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<v Speaker 1>wearing special outfit? And if you're watching YouTube, you like,

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<v Speaker 1>this ain't that special. It's a brown jeans dress. But

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<v Speaker 1>I just knew when I looked on her Instagram, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, oh my gosh, she's so fashionable. Like I

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<v Speaker 1>can't just be out here in my sweats and ship

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<v Speaker 1>like I gotta like really like get dressed up with

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<v Speaker 1>this bitch. Okay, oh my gosh, So welcome to the show.

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<v Speaker 1>What an introduction. She's like, I'm so fucking uncomfortable now, No,

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<v Speaker 1>that was great. I was just so in tuned what

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<v Speaker 1>you guys are talking about. I was like, tell me

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<v Speaker 1>more about the neck exciting, what's going on? And that

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<v Speaker 1>is just age. The racism is just America. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Yeah, I know. We went to go

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<v Speaker 1>get an office space and we were going to sign

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<v Speaker 1>the lease, and then the guy said he looked at

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<v Speaker 1>our Instagram and said we cursed too much, and that he.

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<v Speaker 2>Sees me that we smoke weed and that it's not

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<v Speaker 2>a weed friendly.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a smoking space. So what you already clearly

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<v Speaker 1>saw in the fucking lease that he sent us and

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<v Speaker 1>we signed. And then he said, and I also know

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<v Speaker 1>that you cursed, and I don't know if that's going

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<v Speaker 1>to be issue. And I'm like nigga, and what world

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<v Speaker 1>to do Anyone in the other spaces hear us talk

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<v Speaker 1>to the recording studio. It's a recording studio, okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>there's walls. It's a recording studio. It's a sound proof walls.

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<v Speaker 1>That's what I was going to That's exactly what I said.

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<v Speaker 1>We're not going to smoke. That's very clear. We got

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<v Speaker 1>that it's a recording studio. So why does it matter

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<v Speaker 1>for Curson. We're going to be in the recording studio.

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<v Speaker 2>What I said is we're respectable women business women and parents.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, why would you do this anyway? He still said no,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we proceeded to send him a nasty text

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<v Speaker 1>message this morning, wrong I did. I said this discrimination periodic.

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<v Speaker 3>Look, but don't be nowhere.

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<v Speaker 1>You ain't want it and got a better life. That part.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, this is going this is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be problematic in the future, and I have to whoop

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<v Speaker 1>Alex's ass. So it's probably best that we let that

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<v Speaker 1>one go. Yeah, we don't want that. We don't want that.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, you know, I think here's to whatever new spaces.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what. Look, let's take it. Cheers, take cheers

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<v Speaker 1>to accepting what is for us. And that's it, Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>accepting what is for us, not trying to fit a

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<v Speaker 1>circle to a square. Oh say that shit again, because

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to be in that square. Okay. I

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<v Speaker 1>want to stay in the circle, and.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to be in a space where it fits.

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<v Speaker 2>I fit good and cozy and snug and just right.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be forcing it and be like

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<v Speaker 2>poked a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>And okay, I want to smoke in my goddamn studio

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<v Speaker 1>that you know. I was going to compromise, but I'm

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<v Speaker 1>trying to just do what I gotta do, okay, And

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<v Speaker 1>smoking is part of my self care and the brand.

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<v Speaker 1>So God said, girl, it ain't gonna work. You can't

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<v Speaker 1>smoke it. We're not. I'm not gonna make this happen

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<v Speaker 1>for you. God said, we need a can a friendly studio.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>Speaking of strong affirmation, strong statements, do you have any

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<v Speaker 2>affirmations for us today?

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<v Speaker 1>I do?

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, let me see you check your check your record.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's one.

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<v Speaker 4>So no, I keep all my affirmations like, oh, my

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<v Speaker 4>bathroom when mirror, it's gotten to the point where it's

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<v Speaker 4>so covered I can't even see myself anymore. But it's

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<v Speaker 4>like the place that I go, of course every morning,

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<v Speaker 4>and I do that before I do anything and say them.

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<v Speaker 4>So here's like one from my mirror, my affirmation mirror.

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<v Speaker 4>I am a divine light chosen and appointed by God.

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<v Speaker 4>I am who God created me. I am who God

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<v Speaker 4>created me to be without compromise.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, I am a divine light chosen What I am

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<v Speaker 1>a divine light chosen and appointed by God. I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>divine light chosen and appointed by God.

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<v Speaker 3>I am who God created me to be.

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<v Speaker 1>I am who God created me to be without compromise

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<v Speaker 1>without compromise, that last line, Now, that last line, compromise.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, I think people forget that, you know, showing up

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<v Speaker 2>as yourself is an act of God. I think people

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<v Speaker 2>fight that because they pretend to be something else, or

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<v Speaker 2>I think they're supposed to be something else based on people,

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<v Speaker 2>And you forget that you came as you are, and

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<v Speaker 2>if God didn't expect you to be this way, you

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be this way. And it's in your best interest

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<v Speaker 2>to be all of you and not to you know,

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<v Speaker 2>shrink or fit into other spaces to appease people, because

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<v Speaker 2>people didn't create you.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, they did not, and they will try to

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<v Speaker 1>hold you hostage to who you were and all these things.

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<v Speaker 1>And you are the designer of your life. And you

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<v Speaker 1>can decide if you yesterday you like chicken and today

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<v Speaker 1>you don't, that's fine. Oh wow, that's specific. People always

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<v Speaker 1>want to to my eating habits, and I'm there to

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<v Speaker 1>say I'm allowed to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to say, if you would stop bashing

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<v Speaker 2>other people's eating habits, then maybe people wouldn't be so

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<v Speaker 2>weird about old.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe bashing yours if you'd leave mine alone. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>whoa ring here? Not like it. We love each other.

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<v Speaker 1>We love it. Y'all sound like me, Aferia.

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<v Speaker 2>People are probably so happy we're doing any type of

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<v Speaker 2>cursing each other out any other time.

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<v Speaker 1>You're like, I love you so much.

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<v Speaker 2>Me and Erica, we love each other so much. Let

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<v Speaker 2>me tell you how much I love you. This week

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<v Speaker 2>I discovered I'd loved Erica even more than last week

0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:02.680
<v Speaker 2>because you know what she said. So I'm like, we

0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:06.800
<v Speaker 2>are such lesbians without the lesbian. But I'm so grateful.

0:11:06.840 --> 0:11:09.440
<v Speaker 2>I really am grateful for Like, as I get older,

0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:11.680
<v Speaker 2>I've always had close friends, but like really grateful for

0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:13.920
<v Speaker 2>the outlet to have a friend that I really do

0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.200
<v Speaker 2>love this much. We went to we went to go

0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:16.640
<v Speaker 2>eat dinner.

0:11:16.679 --> 0:11:18.520
<v Speaker 1>The other night, I was telling somebody and I was like,

0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:20.280
<v Speaker 1>me and eric As sat in the car before we

0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.160
<v Speaker 1>got to dinner and cried and told each other how

0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:26.079
<v Speaker 1>much we love each other and our deep insecurities and fears,

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:27.960
<v Speaker 1>and then we told each other we're never leaving each other.

0:11:28.040 --> 0:11:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't need a relationship. I have my bitch.

0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:34.880
<v Speaker 1>She hates part. She holds all my insecurities and she

0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:36.560
<v Speaker 1>tells me it's okay. I mean, I do need a nigga.

0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 1>But you know what I mean, you don't need I

0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.480
<v Speaker 1>don't need one. I want one. But I'm okay because

0:11:40.520 --> 0:11:41.000
<v Speaker 1>I have.

0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Really supportive, loving friendships and I'm grateful that's us.

0:11:45.440 --> 0:11:46.800
<v Speaker 4>You know what, Can we talk about that for a

0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:49.640
<v Speaker 4>little bit because I'm at a place where, you know,

0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.720
<v Speaker 4>of course I do desire a relationship. And when you

0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.280
<v Speaker 4>come out of you know, a marriage and you're divorced

0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.199
<v Speaker 4>and everything, you're like, okay, wait, coming out of this,

0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:00.439
<v Speaker 4>of course I need my space.

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:03.280
<v Speaker 1>And everybody's like, you need time alone always. You need

0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:07.200
<v Speaker 1>to gather yourself and you know, get to know you.

0:12:07.480 --> 0:12:09.119
<v Speaker 3>And I'm like, mich I know forty.

0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:11.520
<v Speaker 1>One years, I know me. I can't I know me?

0:12:11.840 --> 0:12:13.679
<v Speaker 3>Okay, and then I'm.

0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.559
<v Speaker 1>Forever changing so I can't keep up. But you know what.

0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:18.600
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying, like, I you don't want to feel like

0:12:18.640 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 4>you need someone, but you do desire someone. And it's

0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:25.440
<v Speaker 4>I think healthy to want to love again and healthy

0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:26.960
<v Speaker 4>to want to be in a relationship again.

0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.120
<v Speaker 3>It's just like when is that?

0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:29.319
<v Speaker 1>You know?

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:30.920
<v Speaker 4>And then they're like, well, don't do it until you

0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:35.040
<v Speaker 4>have some therapy, right feel and you know, collect yourself.

0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:36.439
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, whitch I am collect looking at the

0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:37.720
<v Speaker 1>mare and talk to yourself alone?

0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:39.600
<v Speaker 3>Right, And I'm like, who was to be alone?

0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:40.719
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes?

0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Like the relationship you just gotta makes it real clear

0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:44.880
<v Speaker 2>what you need to not get into again. And I'm like, actually,

0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.079
<v Speaker 2>haven't really prepared that relationship really prepared me for the

0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:47.600
<v Speaker 2>next one.

0:12:47.760 --> 0:12:50.600
<v Speaker 4>That's the therapy when right, I'm like, when is the

0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 4>right time to start again?

0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:53.679
<v Speaker 3>Because I feel like I'm rich, you.

0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:54.920
<v Speaker 1>Know what I mean? Like, I feel how long has

0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:56.319
<v Speaker 1>it been? Well? Tell us, like how long has it been?

0:12:56.320 --> 0:12:59.120
<v Speaker 1>Like what it has your love journey been? Yeah?

0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.560
<v Speaker 2>First of all, let me say nobody can tell you

0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:02.600
<v Speaker 2>when the fuck you're ready.

0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say, like who makes these time limits?

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.760
<v Speaker 1>Who makes these rules? It's like there it is. It's

0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.520
<v Speaker 1>show true what you say though, Like people in society

0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.800
<v Speaker 1>have these like time limits that you must do certain

0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:15.680
<v Speaker 1>things before you can enter in the next phase of

0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:19.040
<v Speaker 1>your life. Yep, And it's like why who made these up?

0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:19.880
<v Speaker 1>It's coming up?

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:21.080
<v Speaker 3>Who's the odds behind me?

0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 1>My soulmate, my walk through the door right after this

0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:24.960
<v Speaker 1>nigga leave, So I'm supposed to pass him up and

0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.880
<v Speaker 1>do that because society said I need to wait six months.

0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:29.560
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, and they make the face too, even if they

0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:30.760
<v Speaker 4>don't say it's like.

0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh, so, whend you guys start dating like oh six

0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.600
<v Speaker 1>months ago and you're like, oh yes, it's like almost

0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.160
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to tell people when yeah, like, how long?

0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:41.800
<v Speaker 1>Two months? I don't care. I'm the bitch. Don't you

0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:43.960
<v Speaker 1>say shit about my two month love? Okay, I'm in love.

0:13:44.120 --> 0:13:46.480
<v Speaker 1>You shut the fuck up. But yeah, you're pisces right.

0:13:46.760 --> 0:13:48.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's the water sign. It's the water

0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:49.640
<v Speaker 1>sign trinity.

0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.360
<v Speaker 4>Here, we're all here love and shit, wait are we

0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:54.240
<v Speaker 4>all we're all on a scorpio.

0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:57.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh well still I'm a cancer. Yeah, yeah, we're here.

0:13:57.760 --> 0:14:00.640
<v Speaker 1>We're here strong to say that we do need love.

0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:04.199
<v Speaker 1>We're independent women, but we do love. I've been really

0:14:04.280 --> 0:14:06.920
<v Speaker 1>conscious of not. First of all, we have this like

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.760
<v Speaker 1>women Empowerment podcast, and I think that men feel like

0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:13.400
<v Speaker 1>they're not Like, I'm very clear not to make men

0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:16.440
<v Speaker 1>feel like they're not needed. I do need, we do

0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:20.360
<v Speaker 1>need and want men, and I do like, I'm very

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.000
<v Speaker 1>grateful for the divine masculine in my life and I

0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:24.640
<v Speaker 1>welcome it.

0:14:24.680 --> 0:14:26.280
<v Speaker 2>But if it ain't the right one, you can fucking go.

0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.080
<v Speaker 2>I have a lot of strong women around me, but

0:14:29.280 --> 0:14:32.920
<v Speaker 2>like I I, we.

0:14:32.880 --> 0:14:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Could use more. We need you to get healed.

0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 2>If you guys are listening, men, please starting to please

0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 2>and go to please.

0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.040
<v Speaker 1>You're not above it. We all did it. We all

0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:45.880
<v Speaker 1>are doing the work. We all need to catch up.

0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 1>We all do.

0:14:46.880 --> 0:14:51.240
<v Speaker 2>Black men specifically, Please, we are doing the work. We

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.000
<v Speaker 2>are begging you to do the work so we don't

0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:55.760
<v Speaker 2>all become lesbians.

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.560
<v Speaker 1>I beg of you, God, but we don't want to

0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:03.640
<v Speaker 1>end up a of small colony together. Want you. My

0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.920
<v Speaker 1>feminism does not mean that you are not important. Okay

0:15:07.280 --> 0:15:09.720
<v Speaker 1>so important, and I think that's where your little piece

0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.120
<v Speaker 1>when you're an empowered woman. I feel like, especially in

0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:13.960
<v Speaker 1>this time, like I feel like men feel like that

0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:17.760
<v Speaker 1>they're like excluded from the conversation, excluded, they don't are

0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.960
<v Speaker 1>not needed. And granted I have said nigaz ain't shit

0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:22.760
<v Speaker 1>a lot, and I have also said that we can

0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.480
<v Speaker 1>just take your sperm and like, you know, handle the rest. However,

0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:33.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm here to say that I rescind those comments. Hear you,

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:36.560
<v Speaker 1>hear you. I'm growing, guys, I'm growing, I do. I

0:15:36.600 --> 0:15:38.840
<v Speaker 1>think I said this on some other podcasts recently, but

0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:41.480
<v Speaker 1>I really like we need you, I love you, I

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:43.800
<v Speaker 1>want you, but go to therapy and if those that

0:15:43.840 --> 0:15:48.800
<v Speaker 1>have already are in it, call me, call me. Okay.

0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:52.359
<v Speaker 2>So that's like, how do you know when you're ready

0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:55.840
<v Speaker 2>to move on from a long term relationship or a marriage?

0:15:55.840 --> 0:16:00.440
<v Speaker 1>How did you know? Yeah? I think that because you've

0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 1>been you've been married twice. Yes, Okay, so I.

0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:08.400
<v Speaker 4>Must I must say, I'm going to say, and I'm

0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.480
<v Speaker 4>not I'm not saying at all that like.

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:15.200
<v Speaker 3>Time matters as far as the.

0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.480
<v Speaker 4>Length of like my first marriage, because it was very real,

0:16:20.760 --> 0:16:26.200
<v Speaker 4>but I feel like, of course with my second marriage,

0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 4>we had children, We did a lot in a very

0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:31.400
<v Speaker 4>long time, I mean very short amount of time. And

0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:37.000
<v Speaker 4>I think when you get how do I answer this

0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 4>question without answering this question.

0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:44.080
<v Speaker 1>If you will question, I'm answering. I know, I am,

0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:46.280
<v Speaker 1>I am. I'm gonna. I'm gonna really put some thought

0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:46.800
<v Speaker 1>into this.

0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:50.280
<v Speaker 4>But I feel like, you know, just like you know

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.280
<v Speaker 4>when you're they're the one, right, I feel like you

0:16:53.280 --> 0:16:55.760
<v Speaker 4>you go. Okay, wait a minute, my gut is telling

0:16:55.760 --> 0:17:00.040
<v Speaker 4>me I feel peace with whatever the decision is, and

0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:03.160
<v Speaker 4>and I'm going to allow God to lead and trust

0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:09.000
<v Speaker 4>my gut and when you know a shift happens, then

0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.600
<v Speaker 4>you have to trust what that shift is and and

0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:18.200
<v Speaker 4>move accordingly and trust that everything is going to be okay.

0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 4>And I think that that's what I found strength in

0:17:23.720 --> 0:17:27.080
<v Speaker 4>trusting myself. I found strength.

0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:28.200
<v Speaker 1>Is so difficult.

0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:33.080
<v Speaker 4>It is so difficult at times, but I definitely I

0:17:33.160 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 4>tapped into something different and I knew that, you know,

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.920
<v Speaker 4>this wasn't a decision that was going to be made

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.680
<v Speaker 4>for just me. But I have little ones, you know

0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:45.760
<v Speaker 4>what I mean, which makes a decision like that even

0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:47.240
<v Speaker 4>even tougher.

0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:53.120
<v Speaker 1>But I think to go to just trust yourself, trust yourself.

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.600
<v Speaker 4>I have so many girlfriends or women that I talked

0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.439
<v Speaker 4>to and they're like, girl, I don't no like I'm married,

0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.800
<v Speaker 4>and I love that I'm married, but I'm not happy

0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:06.119
<v Speaker 4>in my marriage and what should I do? And my

0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:08.200
<v Speaker 4>parents have been married for like thirty five forty five

0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:10.879
<v Speaker 4>years and I want that same thing, but my marriage

0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:14.320
<v Speaker 4>don't feel like they marriage. And I'm getting abused or

0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:18.040
<v Speaker 4>this and this, and I'm like, you know, if you

0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:21.120
<v Speaker 4>know if you are in an abusive situation, then by

0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:23.639
<v Speaker 4>all means really And someone had to tell me.

0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:25.679
<v Speaker 1>One of my sisters in.

0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:28.320
<v Speaker 4>Christ had to tell me, like when we get up

0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:31.159
<v Speaker 4>there and we say those vowels, you know, and we're

0:18:31.320 --> 0:18:34.440
<v Speaker 4>you know, that covenant is made. It's a real thing.

0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.480
<v Speaker 4>So when someone breaks the covenant and abuse is that

0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:42.240
<v Speaker 4>in all its forms, then.

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:45.840
<v Speaker 3>You know, the covenants broken, sweetheart, the contract is.

0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:50.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think that we narrow it down to, oh,

0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:52.560
<v Speaker 4>if they commit adultery or if they do this one

0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.320
<v Speaker 4>thing or whatever. It's like, no, we got to look

0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.320
<v Speaker 4>into And I'm not speaking specifically on my situation. I'm

0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.480
<v Speaker 4>speaking about even you know, conversations that I've had with

0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:03.240
<v Speaker 4>you know, women who are going with.

0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:05.040
<v Speaker 3>You know, going through a divorce.

0:19:05.160 --> 0:19:08.680
<v Speaker 4>Like if you're finding yourself in a situation where we're

0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:10.639
<v Speaker 4>looking at this covenant thing or we're looking at these

0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.360
<v Speaker 4>vals we you know, we took and it's not lining up,

0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.080
<v Speaker 4>then we got to ask ourselves some real serious questions.

0:19:17.640 --> 0:19:22.240
<v Speaker 1>We got a message from someone today about basically like

0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:25.639
<v Speaker 1>abuse doesn't look like physical all the time. And I

0:19:25.640 --> 0:19:27.919
<v Speaker 1>think a lot of people are like, well, my marriage

0:19:27.920 --> 0:19:30.040
<v Speaker 1>is fine, my relationship is fine, Like he's not like

0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:33.240
<v Speaker 1>beating me, you know, And it's like, girl, that there's

0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.960
<v Speaker 1>so many different forms of abuse.

0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:39.119
<v Speaker 2>And in fact, it's scary because like verbal and like

0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:43.399
<v Speaker 2>mental abuse is so it gradually builds up in a

0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:45.479
<v Speaker 2>way that you become used to it. And so it's

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:47.840
<v Speaker 2>even more important that you check in with yourself because

0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:50.080
<v Speaker 2>that's the type of abuse. Like it's one thing, someone

0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:54.040
<v Speaker 2>hits you upside the fucking hand, you're like, oh shit, nigga, wow,

0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:56.600
<v Speaker 2>that's a hit, you know, and even then, but just

0:19:57.080 --> 0:19:59.520
<v Speaker 2>be being bitchous, will be like, oh well, it's not

0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:01.359
<v Speaker 2>like I'm not like in a lifetime movie.

0:20:01.400 --> 0:20:03.920
<v Speaker 1>But like you have to really be clear.

0:20:03.960 --> 0:20:06.600
<v Speaker 2>And not only that, like abuse is a huge thing,

0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:09.480
<v Speaker 2>but also just like I think honoring yourself if you

0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:10.560
<v Speaker 2>grow out of something.

0:20:10.440 --> 0:20:12.600
<v Speaker 1>Right doesn't and yeah it doesn't have to be that,

0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:15.600
<v Speaker 1>but if it doesn't feel good to you, and you've

0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:17.679
<v Speaker 1>tried this and you've tried that, and I know, for

0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:20.720
<v Speaker 1>me and like for most women, you've sat with that

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:24.359
<v Speaker 1>feeling for a minute, you've digested, you've thought about it,

0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:26.560
<v Speaker 1>you're like, damn, this doesn't feel good, this doesn't look good.

0:20:26.600 --> 0:20:28.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't like how this feels. And then you stay

0:20:28.720 --> 0:20:32.040
<v Speaker 2>because that's what women do because we're trying to honor our,

0:20:32.119 --> 0:20:36.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, the family, the children, the standard we put

0:20:36.080 --> 0:20:37.640
<v Speaker 2>in a lot of work and trying to make things

0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:40.919
<v Speaker 2>happen a lot of times, and sometimes your growth is

0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:43.639
<v Speaker 2>all the time. If your growth is not being honored

0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:45.479
<v Speaker 2>in that relationship, it's time to go.

0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:48.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, I think we give our lot. I think

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.280
<v Speaker 1>specifically as black women dating black men, we give met

0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:53.919
<v Speaker 1>black men a lot of grace when it comes to

0:20:54.520 --> 0:21:00.919
<v Speaker 1>shortcomings and being patient, and they would not give us

0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:03.040
<v Speaker 1>that grace. I still love you black men, I promise,

0:21:03.280 --> 0:21:06.639
<v Speaker 1>but y'all wouldn't like you wouldn't if I cheated on

0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:10.159
<v Speaker 1>my my man, like it would be over period. But

0:21:10.280 --> 0:21:12.160
<v Speaker 1>women will We are a little bit more. I mean,

0:21:12.520 --> 0:21:16.880
<v Speaker 1>granted there are some men that day, but I would say,

0:21:16.960 --> 0:21:19.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, the typical situation would be like you be

0:21:19.840 --> 0:21:22.720
<v Speaker 1>out you know you're a hoe? Now, Oh my god,

0:21:22.760 --> 0:21:24.320
<v Speaker 1>that's such a typical man statement.

0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:27.240
<v Speaker 4>No, I think it's generational too, because I've learned in

0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:29.679
<v Speaker 4>certain relationships that I've been and even you know, with

0:21:29.760 --> 0:21:33.719
<v Speaker 4>having a brother, like if you aren't doing what they

0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:35.919
<v Speaker 4>saw their mama, do you know what I mean? Like

0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:41.240
<v Speaker 4>we have grace with their development or you know, their

0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:43.359
<v Speaker 4>shortcomings and all these different things.

0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:44.679
<v Speaker 3>But I feel like sometimes they'll.

0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:45.920
<v Speaker 4>Look at us and go, well, shoot, I watched my

0:21:45.960 --> 0:21:48.800
<v Speaker 4>mama have three jobs and come home and cook and.

0:21:48.760 --> 0:21:49.680
<v Speaker 1>Clean and do this.

0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:54.800
<v Speaker 4>And it's a thing of if you're not meeting that standard,

0:21:54.840 --> 0:21:57.879
<v Speaker 4>you know, you know, as black mothers, we are, I

0:21:57.920 --> 0:22:02.800
<v Speaker 4>feel like raising the ball and sometimes like creating these

0:22:04.119 --> 0:22:08.400
<v Speaker 4>oh god, like they think we're superheroes because we do

0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:12.439
<v Speaker 4>stretch ourselves so much, and our sons watch that, and

0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:15.080
<v Speaker 4>then whoever, you know, they start to date or they

0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:17.200
<v Speaker 4>you know, want to marry or whatever, they have those

0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:21.360
<v Speaker 4>same expectations of that young lady. And then if she doesn't,

0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:25.000
<v Speaker 4>you know, if she isn't doing what she what he

0:22:25.080 --> 0:22:27.040
<v Speaker 4>saw us do, then she's not enough.

0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:28.119
<v Speaker 1>That's not fair.

0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:30.320
<v Speaker 3>I don't think that that's fair.

0:22:30.520 --> 0:22:33.760
<v Speaker 1>You know, it's absolutely not fair. And also because I've

0:22:33.880 --> 0:22:37.040
<v Speaker 1>had this conversation with a man actually when you're saying this,

0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:38.760
<v Speaker 1>had made me think of one specific person that I

0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:40.480
<v Speaker 1>used to date, and he would talk about his mother

0:22:40.600 --> 0:22:43.200
<v Speaker 1>a lot with me and how amazing she was and

0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:46.919
<v Speaker 1>just this incredible force and like da da da da da,

0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:49.960
<v Speaker 1>which is great. I love that that he revered on

0:22:50.080 --> 0:22:54.640
<v Speaker 1>her mother. So yeah, but I feel like a lot

0:22:54.640 --> 0:22:58.040
<v Speaker 1>of times these men or these boys, they don't know

0:22:58.080 --> 0:22:59.920
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck their mama was doing. On the week

0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:04.639
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, Van Layson posted something recently, what type

0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:07.800
<v Speaker 1>of shit their mom showed them, what she wanted to

0:23:07.840 --> 0:23:10.240
<v Speaker 1>show them, And a lot of times, as black mothers,

0:23:10.280 --> 0:23:13.240
<v Speaker 1>we don't show our kids the real We don't want to.

0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:15.359
<v Speaker 1>We don't want them to see us struggle. We don't

0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.640
<v Speaker 1>want them to us. We don't want them to see

0:23:17.680 --> 0:23:21.640
<v Speaker 1>us in pain. And I honestly I understand protecting your kids,

0:23:21.640 --> 0:23:23.720
<v Speaker 1>but I think we do them. We do these boys

0:23:23.760 --> 0:23:28.240
<v Speaker 1>such a disservice because they have these unrealistic expectations of

0:23:28.280 --> 0:23:31.520
<v Speaker 1>what their partners supposed to show up, like knowing goddamn well,

0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:35.520
<v Speaker 1>and their mom knowing goddamn well they were struggling. Yeah,

0:23:35.600 --> 0:23:39.240
<v Speaker 1>they were struggling, if not more than you know, yeah,

0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:42.000
<v Speaker 1>And which is why they had to protect and why

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:43.280
<v Speaker 1>they had to show up this way.

0:23:43.359 --> 0:23:44.800
<v Speaker 4>I don't think even when I was a kid, I

0:23:44.800 --> 0:23:48.600
<v Speaker 4>don't remember seeing my mom struggle with you know, dear divorce,

0:23:49.800 --> 0:23:51.000
<v Speaker 4>the divorce between.

0:23:50.760 --> 0:23:53.680
<v Speaker 1>My mom and dad. And I now that I think back,

0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, did I ever even see her cry? Like

0:23:56.640 --> 0:23:59.440
<v Speaker 1>I All I do remember her doing is making sure

0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:01.399
<v Speaker 1>you know, we stayed in private school.

0:24:01.800 --> 0:24:02.800
<v Speaker 3>She would go off to work.

0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:05.040
<v Speaker 4>She would work some weekend jobs as well, take us

0:24:05.040 --> 0:24:08.359
<v Speaker 4>to work with her. House was always clean, our you know,

0:24:08.400 --> 0:24:10.600
<v Speaker 4>we always had nice things, all these different things. And

0:24:10.720 --> 0:24:15.120
<v Speaker 4>she really did come off like a superhero. And now

0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:17.919
<v Speaker 4>that you know, we're old and I'm old enough to

0:24:17.920 --> 0:24:19.800
<v Speaker 4>have those kind of conversations with her and then going

0:24:19.840 --> 0:24:23.240
<v Speaker 4>through my situation, you know, in talking to her, she

0:24:23.359 --> 0:24:25.400
<v Speaker 4>made it look easy, but she struggled just as much

0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:27.239
<v Speaker 4>as I did, you know what I mean, And that

0:24:27.760 --> 0:24:29.639
<v Speaker 4>as I am, because I'm currently going through it, and

0:24:29.680 --> 0:24:32.520
<v Speaker 4>I'm like, I wonder why am I didn't let me

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:36.240
<v Speaker 4>see this side then, you know, And I think if

0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:38.520
<v Speaker 4>I would, I think that there are strength and power

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:41.680
<v Speaker 4>in me seeing that in her. You know, if I

0:24:41.720 --> 0:24:46.080
<v Speaker 4>would have seen her her weak moments, then when I

0:24:46.160 --> 0:24:48.159
<v Speaker 4>was having mind going through my divorce, it would have

0:24:48.200 --> 0:24:48.439
<v Speaker 4>been like.

0:24:48.440 --> 0:24:50.200
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's okay to feel that way.

0:24:50.440 --> 0:24:51.640
<v Speaker 3>I don't always have to be all.

0:24:51.600 --> 0:24:53.040
<v Speaker 1>Right, you know what I mean.

0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:57.280
<v Speaker 4>And so we've had conversations about it since. But she

0:24:57.480 --> 0:25:00.679
<v Speaker 4>was very very quiet about She was one of the

0:25:00.720 --> 0:25:03.520
<v Speaker 4>moms that was very quiet and put on the cape,

0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:06.920
<v Speaker 4>and you know, she she felt like she was protecting

0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:10.640
<v Speaker 4>us from the pain that she was going through.

0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:13.080
<v Speaker 1>But that's that's that's how most moms are.

0:25:13.119 --> 0:25:15.560
<v Speaker 2>You know that, that's really how you know that, that's

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:18.399
<v Speaker 2>that's the like the image that we're given that you

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:20.480
<v Speaker 2>do have to be a superhero, that you can't let

0:25:20.480 --> 0:25:22.000
<v Speaker 2>your kids see you cry, that you have to have

0:25:22.040 --> 0:25:24.399
<v Speaker 2>everything taken care of. And for most of us, I think,

0:25:24.480 --> 0:25:27.640
<v Speaker 2>especially for black women, that's what we've seen our parents do.

0:25:28.160 --> 0:25:30.600
<v Speaker 1>But like you said, it's not realistic. And then you're

0:25:30.680 --> 0:25:33.200
<v Speaker 1>moving through life like what the fuck You're like, I'm

0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:36.560
<v Speaker 1>fucking up, Like I'm weak, Like my mom didn't do this?

0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Why do I do that? Why am I so like

0:25:38.800 --> 0:25:40.560
<v Speaker 1>tore up over this? Why am I so tore up?

0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:43.840
<v Speaker 1>Why can't I get over this? Man? You know? And

0:25:43.960 --> 0:25:47.600
<v Speaker 1>it's it's it's really I think important for you. You

0:25:47.600 --> 0:25:50.480
<v Speaker 1>have a you have a daughter and a son. Yeah,

0:25:50.520 --> 0:25:53.399
<v Speaker 1>I think it's really important for like I want to

0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:57.920
<v Speaker 1>say even more so, it's no, it's equally sons really

0:25:57.920 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 1>need to see the essence of a woman and their

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:05.640
<v Speaker 1>mother and all the different dimensions of what that means.

0:26:06.440 --> 0:26:08.680
<v Speaker 1>They really do. If we want to prepare and I

0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:10.679
<v Speaker 1>don't have a sign. But if I ever did, like

0:26:11.200 --> 0:26:14.919
<v Speaker 1>preparing him for like the woman that might show up

0:26:14.920 --> 0:26:19.040
<v Speaker 1>in his life and having discernment and having empathy, Oh baby,

0:26:19.240 --> 0:26:20.240
<v Speaker 1>empathy is big.

0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:21.920
<v Speaker 3>Can we make T shirts?

0:26:22.920 --> 0:26:23.120
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:26:23.720 --> 0:26:26.960
<v Speaker 4>Because and I'm by the way, I'm just learning about

0:26:26.960 --> 0:26:29.480
<v Speaker 4>like narcissism and all that whole gray and that is

0:26:29.600 --> 0:26:32.920
<v Speaker 4>like the one thing that a narcissist doesn't have empathy.

0:26:32.960 --> 0:26:37.760
<v Speaker 1>And I did not know that people in the world.

0:26:37.880 --> 0:26:40.600
<v Speaker 3>Of course I knew there were bad people out there, right, but.

0:26:40.560 --> 0:26:45.000
<v Speaker 4>I kind of felt like everybody had a little empathy, seriously,

0:26:45.720 --> 0:26:49.280
<v Speaker 4>but narcissists have like none, is what I'm learning, right,

0:26:49.600 --> 0:26:52.879
<v Speaker 4>And so I guess me thinking the whole like with

0:26:52.920 --> 0:26:54.400
<v Speaker 4>a car, you know, you buy a car and there's

0:26:54.440 --> 0:26:56.520
<v Speaker 4>like the standard package and there's like the gold package.

0:26:56.560 --> 0:27:00.000
<v Speaker 4>I thought that that, like empathy came with the standard package.

0:26:59.200 --> 0:26:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah it's big.

0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:03.040
<v Speaker 4>It's not the rolldown when like it's still electric windows,

0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:05.040
<v Speaker 4>but there's empathy there, you know what I mean. Like

0:27:05.800 --> 0:27:09.280
<v Speaker 4>I just felt that that was there, and that's not

0:27:09.480 --> 0:27:13.840
<v Speaker 4>like you have to actually purchase that extra you have

0:27:13.880 --> 0:27:17.040
<v Speaker 4>to make sure that's on the list on the line sheet, right,

0:27:17.160 --> 0:27:19.560
<v Speaker 4>and it's yeah, you got But when do you find

0:27:19.560 --> 0:27:21.440
<v Speaker 4>that out though, right, because all right, say, if we're

0:27:21.440 --> 0:27:24.360
<v Speaker 4>dealing with the narcissist, right, narcissists know how to cover

0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:27.040
<v Speaker 4>up their narcissism until the time it's time to pounds.

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:29.760
<v Speaker 4>And it's a thing of Okay, do you date the

0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:31.359
<v Speaker 4>person six months, do you date them a year, do

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:33.960
<v Speaker 4>you date them two years? And then when does their

0:27:34.080 --> 0:27:37.120
<v Speaker 4>narcissism get sick of hiding itself and then show up.

0:27:37.320 --> 0:27:39.119
<v Speaker 2>I think that there are signs, and I feel like

0:27:39.240 --> 0:27:41.440
<v Speaker 2>narcissis could only hide for so long. You can only

0:27:41.480 --> 0:27:43.800
<v Speaker 2>be so calculated. I feel like if you're paying attention,

0:27:44.080 --> 0:27:46.080
<v Speaker 2>there are going to be other things outside of just

0:27:46.119 --> 0:27:49.960
<v Speaker 2>the lack of empathy that are going to like have signs,

0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:52.639
<v Speaker 2>especially if you've dealt with the narcisst before or maybe

0:27:52.720 --> 0:27:55.320
<v Speaker 2>listen to our episode how to Spot a narcissist. But

0:27:55.560 --> 0:27:57.960
<v Speaker 2>it's necessary because they're tricky.

0:27:57.960 --> 0:27:59.919
<v Speaker 1>It's almost like a con artist. It is a con art.

0:28:00.440 --> 0:28:02.399
<v Speaker 2>It's like one step up from a sociopath. So you

0:28:02.480 --> 0:28:05.639
<v Speaker 2>really got to be careful because sociopaths don't have any empathy.

0:28:05.920 --> 0:28:08.800
<v Speaker 2>But you really I kind of I think I'm not

0:28:08.840 --> 0:28:09.480
<v Speaker 2>the type of person.

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:09.840
<v Speaker 1>Again.

0:28:10.040 --> 0:28:14.840
<v Speaker 2>Fucking cancer over here, who's like moving in precaution, Like

0:28:14.880 --> 0:28:17.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't trust anyone that's not my m I do

0:28:17.520 --> 0:28:20.280
<v Speaker 2>feel like God gives you your instinct and your intuition

0:28:20.400 --> 0:28:22.320
<v Speaker 2>and you kind of know. But like if I feel

0:28:22.320 --> 0:28:26.440
<v Speaker 2>like something's not right, I usually will I'll let that

0:28:26.800 --> 0:28:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm examining it. You know, I'm gonna be kind and

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:32.320
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna be trustworthy, but I'm gonna constantly be examining

0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:34.720
<v Speaker 2>it and be like, hmm, that don't make that makes

0:28:34.720 --> 0:28:35.639
<v Speaker 2>a lot of sense that you did that.

0:28:35.680 --> 0:28:39.479
<v Speaker 1>I don't like that that. I don't mean that'll add up. Yeah,

0:28:39.560 --> 0:28:40.920
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I think a lot of times with this

0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:45.400
<v Speaker 1>narcissist and the empathy conversation, I feel like they do

0:28:45.480 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 1>cover it up or they show you so much empathy

0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:50.200
<v Speaker 1>in the beginning that you do you assume that they

0:28:50.240 --> 0:28:54.160
<v Speaker 1>extend that to everyone else or always or always and

0:28:54.160 --> 0:28:56.200
<v Speaker 1>that it's always going to be this way, and then

0:28:56.240 --> 0:28:58.480
<v Speaker 1>you see how I mean one of the ways that

0:28:58.800 --> 0:29:01.360
<v Speaker 1>actually Megan Doherty, she was narcissist expert we had on

0:29:01.480 --> 0:29:05.840
<v Speaker 1>she talks about just uh, death by a thousand cuts.

0:29:06.200 --> 0:29:08.680
<v Speaker 1>So it's like they just do these little cuts where

0:29:08.680 --> 0:29:12.360
<v Speaker 1>you like and then suddenly you're fucking bleeding, and you're like,

0:29:12.480 --> 0:29:15.360
<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is going on? Like they're just little ones,

0:29:15.400 --> 0:29:18.240
<v Speaker 1>and then the love bombing, like the gifts and the

0:29:19.000 --> 0:29:23.240
<v Speaker 1>adoration just like you are amazing, Queen High High High,

0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:27.280
<v Speaker 1>and that's supporting, so supportive, supportive, supportive, Kanye West supportive.

0:29:27.840 --> 0:29:30.960
<v Speaker 1>And then suddenly you're like, fuck.

0:29:30.760 --> 0:29:32.920
<v Speaker 2>You, what the fuck just happened? I thought you loved

0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:35.080
<v Speaker 2>me and you loved me so much last week.

0:29:35.120 --> 0:29:38.680
<v Speaker 1>What. Yeah, it's it's really it's scary. It can be

0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:41.560
<v Speaker 1>a really scary place, and unfortunately, I think that there

0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:45.400
<v Speaker 1>are a lot more narcissisms, more narcissists in the world

0:29:45.480 --> 0:29:47.600
<v Speaker 1>than not, and honestly, I feel like the Internet is

0:29:47.600 --> 0:29:49.480
<v Speaker 1>making them. I think you're I think you could be

0:29:49.480 --> 0:29:52.120
<v Speaker 1>born one, but I think you can also like the

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.840
<v Speaker 1>environment in which the world where we're at, in the

0:29:54.880 --> 0:29:57.560
<v Speaker 1>world where everyone is so self centered and cares so

0:29:57.640 --> 0:30:01.680
<v Speaker 1>much about just themselves and not in a healthy way,

0:30:02.240 --> 0:30:06.320
<v Speaker 1>is birthing narcissists left and right. Yeah, So it can

0:30:06.320 --> 0:30:07.280
<v Speaker 1>be scary.

0:30:08.080 --> 0:30:11.920
<v Speaker 2>Because because you're newly single and kind of newly divorced,

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:13.960
<v Speaker 2>and you know, you're just trying to out trying to

0:30:13.960 --> 0:30:17.600
<v Speaker 2>figure it out. Would you are you willing to say

0:30:17.600 --> 0:30:19.120
<v Speaker 2>you would probably get married again or no.

0:30:19.240 --> 0:30:24.280
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Okay, I'm a wife. Okay, okay, I heard that, baby. Same.

0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:27.719
<v Speaker 4>You's gotta find the right not to be fine, but

0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 4>the right one will find right.

0:30:30.000 --> 0:30:33.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I agree the same that you know, Like, you know,

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:35.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm not usually I'm not very worried, even though in

0:30:35.920 --> 0:30:37.640
<v Speaker 1>like this space, me and Eric are always like we

0:30:37.680 --> 0:30:41.920
<v Speaker 1>talk a lot. We're talking a lot of explicit content.

0:30:42.040 --> 0:30:43.400
<v Speaker 1>You know, are we gonna find husbands? Is that we're

0:30:43.400 --> 0:30:44.840
<v Speaker 1>gonna wipe vest? What the fuck are we gonna be

0:30:44.840 --> 0:30:46.800
<v Speaker 1>a wife? Mes? So we can't even get a studio space?

0:30:46.800 --> 0:30:51.440
<v Speaker 1>Were going a husband? Wait till our husband sees these clips,

0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:54.960
<v Speaker 1>we get a divorce. But I feel very I do.

0:30:55.000 --> 0:30:58.200
<v Speaker 2>I feel strongly that what's for me is for me,

0:30:58.360 --> 0:30:59.960
<v Speaker 2>and like who's supposed to love me and accept me

0:31:00.080 --> 0:31:03.080
<v Speaker 2>will come, and that when they come and present themselves,

0:31:03.080 --> 0:31:04.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to know it's them.

0:31:04.480 --> 0:31:07.760
<v Speaker 1>God's going to be like, bitch here he is.

0:31:09.720 --> 0:31:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Finally not the narcissist, right guy, because that one I

0:31:12.320 --> 0:31:14.720
<v Speaker 2>thought was my nigga, But this one, okay, you know,

0:31:14.760 --> 0:31:18.920
<v Speaker 2>I feel like all the practice I do feel I

0:31:19.040 --> 0:31:22.000
<v Speaker 2>trust that all of the practice niggas that I've had

0:31:22.160 --> 0:31:24.760
<v Speaker 2>have prepared me for my husband that is on his wife.

0:31:25.200 --> 0:31:27.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what are your five? I would I wanted to

0:31:27.960 --> 0:31:30.800
<v Speaker 1>ask you because you are single and maybe date. Are

0:31:30.800 --> 0:31:37.480
<v Speaker 1>you dating? I don't know. It's hard in la Like no,

0:31:37.560 --> 0:31:40.880
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like you know, it's crazy, like have you

0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:43.920
<v Speaker 1>ever joined a dating app? Thing you would do? How

0:31:44.000 --> 0:31:53.480
<v Speaker 1>can I d y R RAYA is like the dating app,

0:31:53.520 --> 0:31:55.840
<v Speaker 1>it's like the Soho House of dating apps, but it's

0:31:55.920 --> 0:31:59.520
<v Speaker 1>it's it's not great. Yeah, it's people in the entertainment.

0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:02.120
<v Speaker 1>It's why if that's what you're looking for? Yeah, so

0:32:02.200 --> 0:32:04.960
<v Speaker 1>no entertaining? You did a regular, regular guy just at

0:32:05.000 --> 0:32:07.120
<v Speaker 1>the regular job or do you have I don't like

0:32:07.160 --> 0:32:10.320
<v Speaker 1>that word regular. Yeah okay, well what do you want

0:32:10.360 --> 0:32:15.080
<v Speaker 1>me to say? I'm not celebrity, non celebrity man, non industry.

0:32:15.320 --> 0:32:21.200
<v Speaker 4>I obviously have no problem with dating or marrying people

0:32:21.280 --> 0:32:23.480
<v Speaker 4>that are not in the entertainment industry.

0:32:24.080 --> 0:32:27.360
<v Speaker 1>And obviously it doesn't protect shit, so I mean, it

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:28.640
<v Speaker 1>doesn't guarantee anything.

0:32:29.360 --> 0:32:30.120
<v Speaker 3>Have both.

0:32:30.320 --> 0:32:32.400
<v Speaker 1>Just like me, I thought if I dated slightly out

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:34.640
<v Speaker 1>attractive men that they would never like, it would just

0:32:34.680 --> 0:32:37.040
<v Speaker 1>be good, Like we'd be good forever like that. That

0:32:37.080 --> 0:32:39.040
<v Speaker 1>doesn't work either, because then you got me and then

0:32:39.040 --> 0:32:44.960
<v Speaker 1>you're feeling yourself. So no, no, yeah, no. Have most

0:32:44.960 --> 0:32:48.680
<v Speaker 1>of the men you've dated been in the entertainment industry? No,

0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:49.400
<v Speaker 1>I've had some.

0:32:50.160 --> 0:32:52.240
<v Speaker 4>I mean and and here's the other part of that, right,

0:32:52.320 --> 0:32:56.400
<v Speaker 4>So if we're looking at a list, here, look at

0:32:56.400 --> 0:32:59.680
<v Speaker 4>the numbers, right, right, So okay, here's the fun part

0:32:59.720 --> 0:33:03.920
<v Speaker 4>about you know, yes, starting in the industry very very young,

0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:08.880
<v Speaker 4>and it's almost like high school, right, or if I

0:33:08.960 --> 0:33:12.280
<v Speaker 4>was a person that wasn't in the entertainment industry.

0:33:11.880 --> 0:33:14.880
<v Speaker 1>Right, you go to school, high school, college, the whole thing.

0:33:15.640 --> 0:33:17.520
<v Speaker 4>You have your community, you go to church. Right, So

0:33:17.560 --> 0:33:19.920
<v Speaker 4>normally you're going to meet someone within that pool.

0:33:20.160 --> 0:33:20.400
<v Speaker 1>Right.

0:33:22.600 --> 0:33:25.800
<v Speaker 4>If I'm in the entertainment industry, started touring at twelve

0:33:26.400 --> 0:33:30.000
<v Speaker 4>or not twelve, fourteen, sixteen, and that's what I've been

0:33:30.040 --> 0:33:32.200
<v Speaker 4>doing a majority of my life, then I'm going to

0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:34.800
<v Speaker 4>date within that pool. So what happens is when you

0:33:34.840 --> 0:33:37.239
<v Speaker 4>go and meet someone who isn't in the industry, and

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:39.440
<v Speaker 4>you might you know, they asked, oh, who have you

0:33:39.520 --> 0:33:41.960
<v Speaker 4>dated or whatever, which is like, now, then I'm thinking,

0:33:41.960 --> 0:33:45.000
<v Speaker 4>God of a strange question. And then it might be

0:33:45.080 --> 0:33:49.840
<v Speaker 4>his favorite sports something and it might be a few

0:33:49.880 --> 0:33:52.760
<v Speaker 4>of them, or there's a singer or a rapper in

0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:53.880
<v Speaker 4>there or something there.

0:33:54.400 --> 0:33:55.560
<v Speaker 3>Then it's like, dang, you.

0:33:55.560 --> 0:33:59.080
<v Speaker 4>Done dated a lot of industry, and I'm like, I'm

0:33:59.120 --> 0:33:59.960
<v Speaker 4>in the industry.

0:34:00.520 --> 0:34:02.200
<v Speaker 1>How many college girlfriends did you have?

0:34:02.240 --> 0:34:03.960
<v Speaker 3>How many high school girlfriends did you have?

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:06.960
<v Speaker 4>That was my high school? Tour was my high school

0:34:07.280 --> 0:34:09.560
<v Speaker 4>you know what I'm saying. Like, and a person that's

0:34:09.600 --> 0:34:12.080
<v Speaker 4>not in the entertainment industry, wo view it as oh

0:34:12.200 --> 0:34:14.120
<v Speaker 4>she you know, they would see it as one way

0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:14.960
<v Speaker 4>when it's really like.

0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:16.719
<v Speaker 1>No, brou how many how many of them?

0:34:17.120 --> 0:34:19.840
<v Speaker 3>Hold you knocked down in your neighborhood church?

0:34:20.120 --> 0:34:20.359
<v Speaker 1>Right?

0:34:20.600 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 3>This was my neighborhood.

0:34:21.640 --> 0:34:23.200
<v Speaker 1>This is where I was at. And I'm sorry if

0:34:23.600 --> 0:34:25.200
<v Speaker 1>you had him on your wall.

0:34:25.760 --> 0:34:28.560
<v Speaker 4>Not even I'm sorry if you go to his games

0:34:28.560 --> 0:34:30.920
<v Speaker 4>and you admire him or you look at his stats

0:34:30.960 --> 0:34:34.719
<v Speaker 4>every week, but I'm bruh, that's my neighborhood. Like, so

0:34:34.840 --> 0:34:38.640
<v Speaker 4>you have to understand that, you know, although my life

0:34:38.760 --> 0:34:42.959
<v Speaker 4>was different than yours, it don't make me a whole

0:34:43.120 --> 0:34:47.640
<v Speaker 4>orthing like just.

0:34:47.600 --> 0:34:52.040
<v Speaker 1>Letting the way you were admiring me exactly A few

0:34:52.080 --> 0:34:53.520
<v Speaker 1>niggas you a right.

0:34:53.520 --> 0:34:57.279
<v Speaker 4>Period, not a few maybe or a few, doesn't matter,

0:34:57.880 --> 0:35:02.080
<v Speaker 4>but whatever, Like it's in an entertainer, that's what's going

0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:02.799
<v Speaker 4>to happen, right.

0:35:03.640 --> 0:35:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I think it's also I imagine it's easier to date

0:35:05.680 --> 0:35:09.040
<v Speaker 2>someone in their industry, like even even in podcasting, Like

0:35:09.080 --> 0:35:10.640
<v Speaker 2>I talk a lot, a lot of shit. You're gonna

0:35:10.680 --> 0:35:12.719
<v Speaker 2>you get it, okay, cool, you get it perfect because

0:35:12.760 --> 0:35:14.880
<v Speaker 2>everyone's not comfortable with someone in the public.

0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Eyety, Yeah, that's your community. This is a community, nigga.

0:35:17.920 --> 0:35:20.520
<v Speaker 1>And if you can't, if this is your man crushed Monday,

0:35:20.560 --> 0:35:26.799
<v Speaker 1>then that's not my problem. Also, Also, do I still

0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:29.200
<v Speaker 1>like you if my last nigg is your man crushed Monday?

0:35:29.719 --> 0:35:31.560
<v Speaker 2>Probably not. We just talked about that on my I

0:35:31.600 --> 0:35:34.120
<v Speaker 2>don't need to be too easily impressed with things. That's

0:35:34.160 --> 0:35:36.799
<v Speaker 2>like an LA mentality too, Like can you not fan out?

0:35:36.880 --> 0:35:41.200
<v Speaker 2>Please relax, just rely, relax, relax.

0:35:40.840 --> 0:35:44.879
<v Speaker 1>It be okay. Well, so you don't know if you're dating, right,

0:35:45.000 --> 0:35:45.479
<v Speaker 1>like I don't.

0:35:45.840 --> 0:35:48.120
<v Speaker 4>I will say this, I have not been on an

0:35:48.200 --> 0:35:50.040
<v Speaker 4>actual date since I divorce.

0:35:50.239 --> 0:35:52.880
<v Speaker 1>No, okay. Well, Also, I mean.

0:35:53.280 --> 0:35:56.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm sorry, can I just say this like it's gonna

0:35:56.280 --> 0:35:59.879
<v Speaker 4>for the next one. You're just not gonna be seen

0:36:00.040 --> 0:36:02.640
<v Speaker 4>in the public we mean that easy and not often

0:36:02.920 --> 0:36:06.680
<v Speaker 4>so who That's what's going to probably make this process

0:36:06.719 --> 0:36:08.920
<v Speaker 4>a little more difficult as far as going on an

0:36:08.960 --> 0:36:12.279
<v Speaker 4>actual date is. I can't really just go on a

0:36:12.360 --> 0:36:16.879
<v Speaker 4>date and be seen in freaking Houston's I know her,

0:36:17.320 --> 0:36:18.960
<v Speaker 4>you know what I mean, because even if it's a

0:36:19.000 --> 0:36:20.880
<v Speaker 4>first date, somebody can see us, take a picture and

0:36:20.880 --> 0:36:21.960
<v Speaker 4>it's like, oh they together.

0:36:23.000 --> 0:36:25.480
<v Speaker 3>No, bro, Like, that's not what's going on.

0:36:25.600 --> 0:36:27.640
<v Speaker 4>So I have to be super duper careful with that.

0:36:27.719 --> 0:36:30.520
<v Speaker 4>It's got to be like four months on the phone.

0:36:31.000 --> 0:36:33.200
<v Speaker 1>Or you could do a home date, but the home

0:36:33.280 --> 0:36:41.919
<v Speaker 1>days just by the whole you might get married real quick,

0:36:42.040 --> 0:36:46.720
<v Speaker 1>real fast. I'm in love, you know. The dack is confusing,

0:36:46.760 --> 0:36:51.080
<v Speaker 1>So let's just yeah, step away from that. What are

0:36:51.120 --> 0:36:54.120
<v Speaker 1>your like five non negotiables? Like what it now that like,

0:36:54.239 --> 0:36:59.680
<v Speaker 1>you know you're single, you've probably learned some lessons. What

0:36:59.680 --> 0:37:01.560
<v Speaker 1>are your what would you say you're five? People only

0:37:01.600 --> 0:37:03.960
<v Speaker 1>say there's five non negotiables or you should have five

0:37:04.080 --> 0:37:07.000
<v Speaker 1>non negotiables when dating? What would you say yours are

0:37:07.520 --> 0:37:14.400
<v Speaker 1>five non negotiables when dating? A liar?

0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:17.600
<v Speaker 3>Like, let's i'd rather.

0:37:17.440 --> 0:37:20.680
<v Speaker 4>Do tell me flat out this is what's going on?

0:37:21.080 --> 0:37:24.080
<v Speaker 4>Or I'm dating five of the bras, or you know

0:37:24.160 --> 0:37:28.440
<v Speaker 4>what I'm saying, like I don't want to ever be married,

0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:30.359
<v Speaker 4>that's never going to be a goal for me. Or

0:37:30.760 --> 0:37:33.040
<v Speaker 4>I want five more kids because I'm not giving you that,

0:37:33.560 --> 0:37:35.960
<v Speaker 4>or you know what I'm saying, like, don't put on

0:37:36.000 --> 0:37:38.440
<v Speaker 4>the front, bro, don't lie about your life.

0:37:38.520 --> 0:37:40.360
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to have to find out something different.

0:37:40.120 --> 0:37:40.799
<v Speaker 1>About you later.

0:37:40.960 --> 0:37:44.080
<v Speaker 4>Just be like straight up, be straight up, be real,

0:37:44.360 --> 0:37:49.800
<v Speaker 4>be authentic, and that's a liar is non negotiable.

0:37:49.840 --> 0:37:51.480
<v Speaker 3>Don't do that because once I find.

0:37:51.280 --> 0:37:56.759
<v Speaker 4>Out your lying, we've done period. So that's one. Uh

0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:03.320
<v Speaker 4>let's see the status matter. No okay, no, no, no no.

0:38:04.160 --> 0:38:07.520
<v Speaker 4>I want to be even leok with my partner, with

0:38:07.560 --> 0:38:10.600
<v Speaker 4>my husband. I definitely do. And that doesn't mean just

0:38:10.840 --> 0:38:13.120
<v Speaker 4>status wise, that doesn't mean just financially.

0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:17.640
<v Speaker 3>It means I mean, of course, in our beliefs, but.

0:38:19.719 --> 0:38:24.240
<v Speaker 4>Like it, when you start raising kids together and stuff,

0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:28.120
<v Speaker 4>y'all got to make sure y'all on the same page.

0:38:28.280 --> 0:38:30.680
<v Speaker 4>It's far more than having the same amount of money,

0:38:30.680 --> 0:38:33.640
<v Speaker 4>because that's gonna change one minute. I might have more

0:38:33.760 --> 0:38:35.960
<v Speaker 4>than some might fall through and then you got more.

0:38:36.239 --> 0:38:37.640
<v Speaker 4>You got to be able to go with the flow

0:38:37.680 --> 0:38:40.560
<v Speaker 4>on that. So as long as, of course, if the

0:38:40.600 --> 0:38:45.040
<v Speaker 4>respect is there, but as long as you guys.

0:38:46.520 --> 0:38:50.520
<v Speaker 1>Are working hard and working.

0:38:50.160 --> 0:38:52.960
<v Speaker 4>As a unit and on the same page, I think

0:38:53.040 --> 0:38:55.279
<v Speaker 4>that that's what keeps everything.

0:38:56.800 --> 0:38:57.880
<v Speaker 1>Even leoked.

0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:06.720
<v Speaker 4>So you're asking a question, So no liars.

0:39:06.480 --> 0:39:10.839
<v Speaker 1>No liars? Oh how did I say this? What I say?

0:39:12.080 --> 0:39:13.840
<v Speaker 1>Are you gonna stop not saying that? I know I

0:39:13.880 --> 0:39:17.440
<v Speaker 1>got no but I gotta, you know what, I gotta

0:39:17.480 --> 0:39:21.319
<v Speaker 1>be a bunch of girlfriends. I can't do it. Like

0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:27.080
<v Speaker 1>when when everybody says I've laid my lesson with that too, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

0:39:27.080 --> 0:39:30.080
<v Speaker 1>everybody ain't sis nigga, did you fuck her? Right?

0:39:30.160 --> 0:39:33.320
<v Speaker 4>Let's start there. That's my favorite. And it's not always

0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:35.600
<v Speaker 4>even that. It's really like she's laying.

0:39:35.400 --> 0:39:38.600
<v Speaker 1>Low to until till you break up again. When women

0:39:38.680 --> 0:39:42.120
<v Speaker 1>do that like men that women men are bigger. I'm

0:39:42.120 --> 0:39:43.960
<v Speaker 1>like brush, she waiting on her, She wait on her

0:39:43.960 --> 0:39:48.040
<v Speaker 1>turn right, let me be around her one time. I'm

0:39:48.040 --> 0:39:50.080
<v Speaker 1>gonna let you know exactly, meet a dinner.

0:39:50.440 --> 0:39:53.440
<v Speaker 4>If the pit of my stomach dropped. She ain't no friends,

0:39:53.600 --> 0:39:55.120
<v Speaker 4>if we can't, if she's she's in.

0:39:55.080 --> 0:39:57.799
<v Speaker 1>Wait, if she's giving that face, if she can't be

0:39:57.840 --> 0:40:01.120
<v Speaker 1>around and what ex y'all gotta have your own hangout.

0:40:01.239 --> 0:40:02.960
<v Speaker 1>If I get a fake ass energy when I meet

0:40:02.960 --> 0:40:05.440
<v Speaker 1>the bitch, it's not real and she has to go period.

0:40:05.640 --> 0:40:06.720
<v Speaker 1>And I respect real.

0:40:06.600 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 2>Friendships and I'm not with that like bias shit like.

0:40:10.040 --> 0:40:11.960
<v Speaker 2>But I can feel the energy because.

0:40:11.719 --> 0:40:13.640
<v Speaker 1>We're women, we're our intuition tells.

0:40:13.480 --> 0:40:17.480
<v Speaker 4>Us, so you know we do period. I'm gonna say.

0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:23.120
<v Speaker 4>The other one is, I have children, So if you

0:40:24.719 --> 0:40:29.080
<v Speaker 4>aren't good with kids or you don't have patience, because

0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:30.560
<v Speaker 4>that's going to be another one of mine too.

0:40:30.920 --> 0:40:38.200
<v Speaker 1>But like you have to I don't want to say

0:40:38.560 --> 0:40:40.520
<v Speaker 1>you have to at least have a love for children,

0:40:41.520 --> 0:40:43.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean, not that strong of love,

0:40:43.400 --> 0:40:48.040
<v Speaker 1>but I need you to have a love for children,

0:40:48.960 --> 0:40:51.840
<v Speaker 1>a very healthy love for children. That's what I'll say.

0:40:52.920 --> 0:40:55.399
<v Speaker 4>And understand that. No, if we get married, they don't

0:40:55.400 --> 0:40:58.799
<v Speaker 4>come first. It's you, you know, once you come. And

0:40:58.840 --> 0:41:00.560
<v Speaker 4>I learned that, like if you said.

0:41:00.400 --> 0:41:02.960
<v Speaker 1>If you get married, you'll your husband will become a

0:41:03.040 --> 0:41:05.080
<v Speaker 1>priority and then the child.

0:41:05.320 --> 0:41:08.560
<v Speaker 4>The biblical order, right, so I try and go by

0:41:08.680 --> 0:41:12.160
<v Speaker 4>the biblical order, even though that's harder said than done,

0:41:12.840 --> 0:41:15.480
<v Speaker 4>and it's I've been on the other side of that,

0:41:15.560 --> 0:41:20.959
<v Speaker 4>not happening twice, and it's it does interfere a little

0:41:21.000 --> 0:41:25.359
<v Speaker 4>bit because you're like when you get married, right and

0:41:25.400 --> 0:41:28.479
<v Speaker 4>you become someone's wife, and then there are other things

0:41:28.480 --> 0:41:31.960
<v Speaker 4>that come before you, you feel it immediately, especially when

0:41:31.960 --> 0:41:34.880
<v Speaker 4>you've been waiting to.

0:41:33.880 --> 0:41:37.000
<v Speaker 3>Be a wife and be first.

0:41:37.000 --> 0:41:41.280
<v Speaker 4>Or you know, feel like you know, desired in that position,

0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:44.719
<v Speaker 4>Like it can it can be, it can be a thing.

0:41:45.640 --> 0:41:47.359
<v Speaker 1>You can be a thing. And it's harder to say

0:41:47.400 --> 0:41:49.799
<v Speaker 1>as a mom with two kids, because nothing should come

0:41:50.000 --> 0:41:52.120
<v Speaker 1>before your kids. Now, I don't I don't like, should

0:41:52.280 --> 0:41:54.400
<v Speaker 1>you know right now? There's no should you know? Like

0:41:54.440 --> 0:41:55.239
<v Speaker 1>everybody has what.

0:41:55.200 --> 0:41:57.080
<v Speaker 2>Works for them, and like the Bible says this, and

0:41:57.120 --> 0:41:58.600
<v Speaker 2>this may work for this, and you can believe in

0:41:58.640 --> 0:42:00.480
<v Speaker 2>the Bible and then still feel this way. And like

0:42:00.760 --> 0:42:03.279
<v Speaker 2>I think that people and I agree, I feel like,

0:42:04.320 --> 0:42:06.880
<v Speaker 2>you know, you come first, because I don't think you

0:42:06.880 --> 0:42:08.719
<v Speaker 2>can pour it from an empty cup. But I also

0:42:08.840 --> 0:42:12.719
<v Speaker 2>feel like people are triggered by a woman saying that,

0:42:12.920 --> 0:42:15.640
<v Speaker 2>especially as we're talking, we're all women with children who

0:42:15.719 --> 0:42:18.279
<v Speaker 2>are gonna be in relationships with men that are don't

0:42:18.280 --> 0:42:21.600
<v Speaker 2>come from those those children don't come from that marriage. Yeah,

0:42:21.920 --> 0:42:25.239
<v Speaker 2>so I think people will assume like, damn this, you know,

0:42:25.320 --> 0:42:27.840
<v Speaker 2>this woman's gonna put you know, a naked before.

0:42:27.560 --> 0:42:28.560
<v Speaker 1>Her kids or whatever.

0:42:28.960 --> 0:42:32.160
<v Speaker 2>But it's it's interesting because if your house ain't right,

0:42:32.200 --> 0:42:33.600
<v Speaker 2>like you're not, you're not going to be happy.

0:42:34.480 --> 0:42:37.160
<v Speaker 1>M hm. So I think that's there's there's truth in that.

0:42:37.239 --> 0:42:39.640
<v Speaker 1>And also i'd be feeling like, if you have the

0:42:39.719 --> 0:42:42.359
<v Speaker 1>right husband, am I really gonna have to choose? No,

0:42:42.719 --> 0:42:45.680
<v Speaker 1>You're going to our priorities together as a family as

0:42:45.800 --> 0:42:47.319
<v Speaker 1>you are going to be the same, whether these are

0:42:47.320 --> 0:42:49.800
<v Speaker 1>your come from your there are your kids if we're married,

0:42:49.840 --> 0:42:51.799
<v Speaker 1>A and B if they whether or not they come

0:42:51.840 --> 0:42:55.640
<v Speaker 1>from this relationship specifically or biologically. I think like, I

0:42:55.680 --> 0:42:57.520
<v Speaker 1>don't even think there should be have to be some

0:42:57.640 --> 0:43:02.800
<v Speaker 1>hierarchy there, because we know how does make our household foundations.

0:43:02.880 --> 0:43:05.640
<v Speaker 1>It's us. Are we good individually? Are we good together?

0:43:05.880 --> 0:43:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Then let's pour into our kids and pour into the

0:43:07.880 --> 0:43:09.760
<v Speaker 2>other things. But I feel like people are so triggered

0:43:09.800 --> 0:43:12.440
<v Speaker 2>by that, and even like even women who say like

0:43:12.480 --> 0:43:14.560
<v Speaker 2>my kids are first or I'm first, I think I'm

0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:16.799
<v Speaker 2>first is a big trigger for men. You know, I

0:43:16.800 --> 0:43:19.719
<v Speaker 2>saw some stupid shit on the internet like who gets

0:43:19.680 --> 0:43:21.239
<v Speaker 2>the who gets the plate first?

0:43:21.280 --> 0:43:23.080
<v Speaker 1>In the house. The kids are the man. I'm like,

0:43:23.360 --> 0:43:28.000
<v Speaker 1>who makes it? This stupid ask questions, who's hungriest? I

0:43:28.080 --> 0:43:30.040
<v Speaker 1>made the dinner, Nigga, y'all make the plates. I don't.

0:43:30.080 --> 0:43:32.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm not doing that. I'm not like I done made chicken.

0:43:32.680 --> 0:43:35.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm eating. I'm fucking eating. That's who's eating, right.

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:37.720
<v Speaker 2>But it's like we in our minds we have these

0:43:37.800 --> 0:43:40.759
<v Speaker 2>like hierarchies of how we love and like, you know,

0:43:40.800 --> 0:43:43.160
<v Speaker 2>how we disperse our love. But everyone knows, aos women,

0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.359
<v Speaker 2>it's eternal. We'd be loving so hard and so limitlessly.

0:43:47.400 --> 0:43:50.279
<v Speaker 2>There doesn't really even have to necessarily be this, you

0:43:50.360 --> 0:43:51.640
<v Speaker 2>know what I mean? But I do agree. I think

0:43:51.640 --> 0:43:54.239
<v Speaker 2>if your relationship is not tended to you know, women know.

0:43:54.440 --> 0:43:56.560
<v Speaker 1>But once the kids leave too, it's just gonna be y'all.

0:43:56.800 --> 0:43:57.440
<v Speaker 1>By the way.

0:43:57.680 --> 0:44:00.600
<v Speaker 4>So if you've given eighteen years to them and you

0:44:00.719 --> 0:44:02.000
<v Speaker 4>lose focus on him.

0:44:01.920 --> 0:44:03.880
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna be a ghost in the house, and he

0:44:03.960 --> 0:44:05.799
<v Speaker 1>might have another bitch on the side by the way,

0:44:05.840 --> 0:44:08.440
<v Speaker 1>because you've been paying all your attention to the ones

0:44:08.480 --> 0:44:10.640
<v Speaker 1>that's gonna leave me in eighteen years and probably sometimes

0:44:10.680 --> 0:44:11.120
<v Speaker 1>before then.

0:44:11.160 --> 0:44:13.760
<v Speaker 3>I left the house at thirteen to go pursue my career.

0:44:14.200 --> 0:44:18.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean? So it it makes sense.

0:44:18.239 --> 0:44:21.080
<v Speaker 4>It's hard to say what it does make when it

0:44:21.120 --> 0:44:23.280
<v Speaker 4>plays out, it makes sense?

0:44:25.440 --> 0:44:28.680
<v Speaker 1>Is that three? That's three? Okay? Cool? Oh? If he is.

0:44:28.680 --> 0:44:32.279
<v Speaker 4>Impatient with me and disrespectful, you get to cussing at

0:44:32.360 --> 0:44:35.160
<v Speaker 4>me and talking crazy. If I got to pull my

0:44:35.200 --> 0:44:37.680
<v Speaker 4>ignorant bitch out on you, you are not my nigga,

0:44:37.840 --> 0:44:39.120
<v Speaker 4>no period.

0:44:39.320 --> 0:44:39.960
<v Speaker 1>You know what, I.

0:44:39.920 --> 0:44:42.800
<v Speaker 4>Didn't even know ignorant bitch was in there, Like I

0:44:43.520 --> 0:44:46.560
<v Speaker 4>would feel her kind of rising up sometimes like ahe

0:44:46.880 --> 0:44:48.840
<v Speaker 4>we might have to. She was doing her shoulders shimming

0:44:48.840 --> 0:44:50.960
<v Speaker 4>and I was like, bitch, shuttle down, don't.

0:44:50.840 --> 0:44:53.879
<v Speaker 3>Even call for that, right what who's knocking at that door?

0:44:54.280 --> 0:44:58.200
<v Speaker 4>But if she got to show up, like show up,

0:44:58.239 --> 0:45:02.600
<v Speaker 4>show up, and you almost lose yourself to her in

0:45:02.600 --> 0:45:06.759
<v Speaker 4>a relationship and she keeps, she keeps winning up, she

0:45:06.800 --> 0:45:11.319
<v Speaker 4>keeps showing up, yep, then this ain't it because that's

0:45:11.320 --> 0:45:12.040
<v Speaker 4>not who I am.

0:45:12.360 --> 0:45:14.799
<v Speaker 3>I'm a very grounded, peaceful, happy.

0:45:14.840 --> 0:45:19.960
<v Speaker 4>Love life, joy having, hugging, being patient, just spread. I'm

0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:26.480
<v Speaker 4>a fucking care beer Okay yep. So when have you

0:45:26.560 --> 0:45:29.480
<v Speaker 4>seen when we do the rainbow? Like you know what

0:45:29.520 --> 0:45:32.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm saying ignibition should not have to show up in that,

0:45:32.320 --> 0:45:34.000
<v Speaker 4>you know what I mean, if you bring if you

0:45:34.080 --> 0:45:36.040
<v Speaker 4>got to bring me out of that, if you really

0:45:36.120 --> 0:45:39.920
<v Speaker 4>seriously have to bring me out of my peaceful space

0:45:40.080 --> 0:45:42.960
<v Speaker 4>that I've worked so hard to keep and protect, then

0:45:42.960 --> 0:45:43.480
<v Speaker 4>that ain't it.

0:45:44.880 --> 0:45:47.480
<v Speaker 1>That ain't it? So M.

0:45:49.320 --> 0:45:51.399
<v Speaker 3>Not going for that. That's that's probably number one.

0:45:51.440 --> 0:45:53.719
<v Speaker 1>I agree that respect shit and you know, and it's

0:45:53.760 --> 0:45:54.239
<v Speaker 1>like the car.

0:45:54.480 --> 0:45:58.280
<v Speaker 4>You think it's the basic, you think it's the standard package,

0:45:58.360 --> 0:46:00.560
<v Speaker 4>but that shit is not you.

0:46:01.120 --> 0:46:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm just asking for the regular.

0:46:02.719 --> 0:46:05.640
<v Speaker 2>Can we just start and push with respect, like don't

0:46:05.640 --> 0:46:08.000
<v Speaker 2>curse at me, Like don't ever call me out of

0:46:08.040 --> 0:46:10.440
<v Speaker 2>my name. There should be no reason that we need

0:46:10.480 --> 0:46:13.120
<v Speaker 2>to communicate and there should be a like derogatory term

0:46:13.360 --> 0:46:14.400
<v Speaker 2>or like aggression.

0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:15.799
<v Speaker 1>Are we on the same team?

0:46:15.920 --> 0:46:18.319
<v Speaker 4>Or sometimes they don't even have to cuss with it them. No,

0:46:18.719 --> 0:46:22.319
<v Speaker 4>Sometimes it's just like a little belittling statement, the belittlement.

0:46:22.440 --> 0:46:25.600
<v Speaker 1>You know what, it's a little bit of that passive aggressive,

0:46:25.640 --> 0:46:27.560
<v Speaker 1>it's a little bit of a few things telling you

0:46:27.600 --> 0:46:29.080
<v Speaker 1>it's them death by a thousand cuts.

0:46:29.440 --> 0:46:30.920
<v Speaker 2>But what it really is a lot of times is

0:46:30.960 --> 0:46:33.400
<v Speaker 2>like that insecurity and then another person and how that

0:46:33.440 --> 0:46:38.520
<v Speaker 2>projects like sometimes insecure people will harm the people closest

0:46:38.520 --> 0:46:40.120
<v Speaker 2>to them because it's most convenient.

0:46:41.560 --> 0:46:45.120
<v Speaker 1>No, no, that makes it way about that sexy, I'm

0:46:45.760 --> 0:46:48.440
<v Speaker 1>about it, little dick energy. We don't want any of

0:46:48.520 --> 0:46:52.080
<v Speaker 1>those God, please protect us. Amen, we don't want that.

0:46:52.680 --> 0:46:54.640
<v Speaker 4>Don't don't.

0:46:58.320 --> 0:47:00.279
<v Speaker 1>I just found out about a new app, which is

0:47:00.320 --> 0:47:04.080
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0:47:04.120 --> 0:47:07.560
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0:47:08.080 --> 0:47:10.080
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0:47:10.120 --> 0:47:13.919
<v Speaker 1>on your wall. But up until now, single parents haven't

0:47:13.960 --> 0:47:18.000
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0:47:18.160 --> 0:47:21.799
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0:47:21.920 --> 0:47:25.239
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0:47:25.280 --> 0:47:28.400
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0:47:28.440 --> 0:47:31.160
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0:47:31.239 --> 0:47:35.040
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0:49:02.040 --> 0:49:06.279
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0:50:08.800 --> 0:50:11.879
<v Speaker 1>So you know what, I've had some big dicks that

0:50:12.160 --> 0:50:16.360
<v Speaker 1>had little dick energy. Really Oh, actually me too. I

0:50:16.360 --> 0:50:18.160
<v Speaker 1>won't even get to see in what size it is

0:50:18.200 --> 0:50:20.680
<v Speaker 1>if you get to talk. Sometimes sometimes they present the

0:50:20.719 --> 0:50:22.799
<v Speaker 1>dick and then they present the talking to you crazy

0:50:22.800 --> 0:50:24.440
<v Speaker 1>because they know you're gonna be confused once you get

0:50:24.480 --> 0:50:26.520
<v Speaker 1>the dick. Well, the day you confused and then they

0:50:26.520 --> 0:50:28.759
<v Speaker 1>start talking to you crazy, so you're still confused and

0:50:28.800 --> 0:50:30.040
<v Speaker 1>it takes a little bit of time to get out

0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:30.319
<v Speaker 1>of it.

0:50:30.640 --> 0:50:32.840
<v Speaker 4>And that's why I've learned you got to learn about

0:50:32.880 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 4>the other before.

0:50:33.920 --> 0:50:37.040
<v Speaker 1>You learn about fat. Yeah, then you won't be confused, true,

0:50:37.280 --> 0:50:40.640
<v Speaker 1>because yes, the d can spin you out of control

0:50:40.920 --> 0:50:42.920
<v Speaker 1>and you're like, oh wait, no, I'm I'm in the

0:50:43.239 --> 0:50:44.000
<v Speaker 1>vortext here.

0:50:44.040 --> 0:50:45.960
<v Speaker 4>And then you know, they get to talking to you

0:50:46.000 --> 0:50:47.600
<v Speaker 4>crazy and you're like, oh, but the deed is good,

0:50:47.600 --> 0:50:50.080
<v Speaker 4>but no, like I really want to get to know

0:50:50.120 --> 0:50:52.840
<v Speaker 4>the person and see them. And someone said see them

0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.600
<v Speaker 4>in at least twelve seasons before you make a decision.

0:50:55.480 --> 0:50:58.399
<v Speaker 1>Like winter, summer, see them. You know, do you think

0:50:59.000 --> 0:51:01.920
<v Speaker 1>in your dating life now would you abstain from sex before?

0:51:02.400 --> 0:51:03.959
<v Speaker 1>Probably for how long, like forever?

0:51:03.960 --> 0:51:04.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't know because I'm.

0:51:05.040 --> 0:51:11.160
<v Speaker 1>All the seasons. I'm all the seasons. Sounds like three seasons.

0:51:11.280 --> 0:51:15.359
<v Speaker 1>We're talking as a few seasons. That's like a few

0:51:15.400 --> 0:51:21.040
<v Speaker 1>times around. I'm travel want to see it travel. Maybe

0:51:21.080 --> 0:51:23.239
<v Speaker 1>we can just travel to the seasons like in three months,

0:51:23.400 --> 0:51:25.400
<v Speaker 1>like we can go you know, we can get to somewhere,

0:51:25.480 --> 0:51:27.759
<v Speaker 1>we can get winter somewhere, we can go get spring fall.

0:51:28.080 --> 0:51:31.400
<v Speaker 4>You know, like they said international seasons in like twelve

0:51:31.480 --> 0:51:33.120
<v Speaker 4>times before making a decision.

0:51:33.160 --> 0:51:35.120
<v Speaker 1>That's a long time. But what what if what if

0:51:35.160 --> 0:51:37.600
<v Speaker 1>you wait and then and then it is you see

0:51:37.680 --> 0:51:41.160
<v Speaker 1>the seasons and then the sexist trash. That's important too.

0:51:43.840 --> 0:51:46.399
<v Speaker 1>That's just life, that's just life. At that point, life

0:51:46.480 --> 0:51:49.480
<v Speaker 1>is lifing. Life is lifing, bru. At that point, life

0:51:49.560 --> 0:51:49.920
<v Speaker 1>is lifing.

0:51:50.080 --> 0:51:52.480
<v Speaker 4>Okay, So what's going to be more important than like

0:51:52.600 --> 0:51:55.800
<v Speaker 4>if you really meet a super duper nice guy, super attractive,

0:51:55.880 --> 0:51:59.160
<v Speaker 4>loves your kids, got the breads, taking you on the vacation,

0:52:00.200 --> 0:52:04.040
<v Speaker 4>like patient with you, lifts you up. I mean all

0:52:04.080 --> 0:52:06.080
<v Speaker 4>these different things, like you are your best self with

0:52:06.200 --> 0:52:08.359
<v Speaker 4>him with the d's trash.

0:52:08.160 --> 0:52:11.880
<v Speaker 1>I would like to but he's trying, trying, Try, trying

0:52:12.120 --> 0:52:16.120
<v Speaker 1>is big, Trying is big. I've had that, I've had

0:52:16.160 --> 0:52:18.160
<v Speaker 1>all these things and then that some things are lacking.

0:52:18.600 --> 0:52:22.239
<v Speaker 1>But for me, well it depends what you're not negotiable, Yeah,

0:52:22.239 --> 0:52:25.880
<v Speaker 1>Like my non negotiable is that, let there's sexual chemistry

0:52:26.000 --> 0:52:28.800
<v Speaker 1>that even if the dick is not high on the

0:52:29.440 --> 0:52:32.319
<v Speaker 1>like the spectrum, are you working towards it is something

0:52:32.360 --> 0:52:34.279
<v Speaker 1>that you want to do? Are we talking about it? Like?

0:52:34.320 --> 0:52:36.439
<v Speaker 2>Are we trying, you know, are there things like maybe

0:52:36.440 --> 0:52:38.719
<v Speaker 2>you just haven't tended to your sexuality. You haven't really

0:52:38.840 --> 0:52:40.400
<v Speaker 2>like poured into that part of yourself. And I need

0:52:40.480 --> 0:52:42.400
<v Speaker 2>to bring you out of your cage. That's one thing.

0:52:42.440 --> 0:52:44.200
<v Speaker 2>But if it's just dead and not there and you

0:52:44.320 --> 0:52:47.160
<v Speaker 2>have no like I can't do anything with this area,

0:52:47.719 --> 0:52:49.960
<v Speaker 2>all those things really won't count. I need that, Like

0:52:50.040 --> 0:52:53.279
<v Speaker 2>that's a non negotiable for me because physical attraction and

0:52:53.400 --> 0:52:56.960
<v Speaker 2>intimacy and touch and are very important to me.

0:52:57.239 --> 0:52:58.399
<v Speaker 1>That kind of makes me tick.

0:52:58.520 --> 0:53:02.000
<v Speaker 2>But like like we've all had a really nice guy

0:53:02.719 --> 0:53:05.319
<v Speaker 2>with all the really nice things and all those things,

0:53:05.360 --> 0:53:07.160
<v Speaker 2>and then like that one thing is lacking, and it's

0:53:07.200 --> 0:53:08.600
<v Speaker 2>just I can't get over this thing.

0:53:08.840 --> 0:53:09.440
<v Speaker 1>This is important.

0:53:09.440 --> 0:53:11.719
<v Speaker 2>I want to come home to my man and be like, yep,

0:53:11.760 --> 0:53:15.800
<v Speaker 2>it's time. Oh yeah, I'm home and I'm happy to

0:53:15.840 --> 0:53:18.480
<v Speaker 2>see you. Just come to the door, like I gotta go, bitch,

0:53:18.480 --> 0:53:20.040
<v Speaker 2>I gotta go. This looks good right now, you know,

0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:24.000
<v Speaker 2>like that that, like primal attraction is important and a

0:53:24.080 --> 0:53:27.000
<v Speaker 2>lot of things, like I think women downplay that a lot.

0:53:27.120 --> 0:53:29.799
<v Speaker 2>Like he's so nice, George is such a nice man,

0:53:29.960 --> 0:53:33.600
<v Speaker 2>and he took Katie to gymnastics, and like that's cool,

0:53:34.040 --> 0:53:37.040
<v Speaker 2>but like, do you want to rip George's clothes off?

0:53:37.200 --> 0:53:39.200
<v Speaker 1>You know, I need to be able to want to

0:53:39.239 --> 0:53:40.640
<v Speaker 1>rip your clothes off. I want to do it.

0:53:40.760 --> 0:53:43.160
<v Speaker 4>That is non negotiable for me, Like because I am

0:53:43.200 --> 0:53:45.160
<v Speaker 4>a touchy, philly person, I want to be cuddled.

0:53:45.280 --> 0:53:46.839
<v Speaker 1>I want to be all the things, and I want

0:53:46.880 --> 0:53:49.960
<v Speaker 1>to be reciprocated. I do like I do. I want.

0:53:50.440 --> 0:53:52.000
<v Speaker 3>I want to I like the public.

0:53:52.600 --> 0:53:58.160
<v Speaker 1>I want yes, kiss me down like tongue, kiss me

0:53:58.239 --> 0:54:01.040
<v Speaker 1>for a long period of time and hold my hand,

0:54:01.400 --> 0:54:06.000
<v Speaker 1>let them know I am yours. Yes. Yes. I think

0:54:06.120 --> 0:54:08.279
<v Speaker 1>men miss that a lot, Like I feel like women

0:54:08.560 --> 0:54:11.800
<v Speaker 1>really need that and thrive in that, and like we

0:54:12.800 --> 0:54:15.840
<v Speaker 1>need that like oh you desire me type shit, and

0:54:16.040 --> 0:54:18.279
<v Speaker 1>men forget that. You know, they're just like whatever the

0:54:18.320 --> 0:54:19.680
<v Speaker 1>fuck they're doing over there. I don't know what they're

0:54:19.680 --> 0:54:22.319
<v Speaker 1>thinking about. But I want a man because I'm gonna

0:54:22.360 --> 0:54:22.759
<v Speaker 1>do that for you.

0:54:23.000 --> 0:54:24.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna I want to make you feel sexy and

0:54:25.000 --> 0:54:26.839
<v Speaker 2>I want to make us feel you know, like I'm

0:54:26.840 --> 0:54:29.320
<v Speaker 2>gonna compliment you and when you're doing it to me,

0:54:29.600 --> 0:54:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to reciprocate that, like damn.

0:54:31.040 --> 0:54:33.279
<v Speaker 1>Me, like this, damn me, sexy. But if you're not

0:54:33.360 --> 0:54:36.200
<v Speaker 1>telling me I'm sexy, I'm gonna forget. Yeah. I mean,

0:54:36.200 --> 0:54:40.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm a words of affirmation type of lover, and I

0:54:41.360 --> 0:54:44.480
<v Speaker 1>do need that in exchange. In ways, I don't need

0:54:44.520 --> 0:54:46.919
<v Speaker 1>a lot of it. I more so need physical touch,

0:54:47.160 --> 0:54:49.200
<v Speaker 1>like how I love and how I want to receive

0:54:49.280 --> 0:54:53.080
<v Speaker 1>lover a little bit different. And I realized that recently

0:54:53.160 --> 0:54:55.560
<v Speaker 1>when I was dating somebody like who's not a words

0:54:55.600 --> 0:54:58.560
<v Speaker 1>of affirmation. He's not really a big words of affirmation person.

0:54:59.000 --> 0:55:01.759
<v Speaker 1>He's not a really like he's definitely like an act

0:55:01.840 --> 0:55:04.920
<v Speaker 1>of service type of lover, which is very important to

0:55:04.960 --> 0:55:07.520
<v Speaker 1>me as well. But I was like, I need the

0:55:07.640 --> 0:55:13.279
<v Speaker 1>affection I need. I need it and consistently called I

0:55:13.320 --> 0:55:14.480
<v Speaker 1>don't give a fuck, I need it.

0:55:14.600 --> 0:55:18.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I need Yeah a cancer, I need talk to me,

0:55:18.520 --> 0:55:20.040
<v Speaker 4>come to me, talk to me and touch me.

0:55:20.239 --> 0:55:23.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, all day, talk and touch. That's what I'm It's

0:55:23.360 --> 0:55:25.480
<v Speaker 1>a little a little boot grab. I'm cool. Oh thank you?

0:55:26.480 --> 0:55:26.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:55:27.320 --> 0:55:29.880
<v Speaker 1>I think how many? What am I on? Three? I

0:55:29.960 --> 0:55:34.600
<v Speaker 1>think that's fine? That was fine when yeah, patients one

0:55:34.719 --> 0:55:36.759
<v Speaker 1>and then cuddles, talk in.

0:55:36.800 --> 0:55:41.000
<v Speaker 4>Touch and I'm consistent communication like and I'm not talking

0:55:41.000 --> 0:55:43.440
<v Speaker 4>about you gotta call me five times a day, but

0:55:43.640 --> 0:55:45.560
<v Speaker 4>a good you know, give me some texting, give me

0:55:45.640 --> 0:55:49.120
<v Speaker 4>some calling, and oh my gosh, in the beginning, this

0:55:49.200 --> 0:55:50.520
<v Speaker 4>is why I said, I don't know if I'm dating.

0:55:51.440 --> 0:55:54.960
<v Speaker 1>What's up with the new They don't get on the

0:55:55.040 --> 0:55:56.840
<v Speaker 1>phone even to meet you, like.

0:55:56.880 --> 0:55:57.359
<v Speaker 3>If they met.

0:55:57.360 --> 0:56:00.960
<v Speaker 4>I've had a situation where somebody induced us, like a

0:56:01.040 --> 0:56:04.440
<v Speaker 4>musual friend introduced us, and he texted me first, right,

0:56:04.880 --> 0:56:07.320
<v Speaker 4>and I said, hey, you know, like I'm old school

0:56:07.360 --> 0:56:09.319
<v Speaker 4>when it comes to communication, call me any time.

0:56:09.680 --> 0:56:11.880
<v Speaker 3>You never got the call. I kept getting the text.

0:56:12.160 --> 0:56:15.920
<v Speaker 4>Nor if you can't, if I can't even hear your voice, I.

0:56:18.320 --> 0:56:20.520
<v Speaker 1>See, Well how about you don't listen? How about you

0:56:20.560 --> 0:56:22.600
<v Speaker 1>don't listen? Yeah, but I told you what I need.

0:56:22.680 --> 0:56:24.760
<v Speaker 1>And this is this is red flag number one because

0:56:24.800 --> 0:56:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I've done this too with a man where I've told

0:56:26.840 --> 0:56:30.080
<v Speaker 1>this man at least three times and after three you

0:56:30.280 --> 0:56:32.719
<v Speaker 1>just are ignoring me. Really have to one or two?

0:56:33.000 --> 0:56:35.000
<v Speaker 1>But I gave you three times to let you know.

0:56:35.200 --> 0:56:37.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't like texting because I'm the same LaToya. I

0:56:37.280 --> 0:56:39.359
<v Speaker 1>do not like the text. I don't try as fuck

0:56:39.440 --> 0:56:41.440
<v Speaker 1>on text. People will tell me all the time. I'm like, well,

0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:44.680
<v Speaker 1>then call me or like come come over or are

0:56:44.719 --> 0:56:45.680
<v Speaker 1>you taking that wrong?

0:56:45.960 --> 0:56:48.120
<v Speaker 4>Well, if you would have heard me say it, then

0:56:48.160 --> 0:56:50.600
<v Speaker 4>you wouldn't have taken it wrong. Like I can't really

0:56:50.640 --> 0:56:52.400
<v Speaker 4>express myself through my fingers like that.

0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:55.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm on my phone all day for work. I'm making

0:56:55.719 --> 0:56:58.000
<v Speaker 1>captions and posts. You think I want to text you

0:56:58.320 --> 0:57:00.560
<v Speaker 1>thank you. I don't want to text you. I want

0:57:00.600 --> 0:57:02.840
<v Speaker 1>to hear your voice. So if that, if that's what

0:57:03.000 --> 0:57:06.120
<v Speaker 1>the the ghetto dayton Pool is about, this text and things.

0:57:06.160 --> 0:57:07.440
<v Speaker 4>And I don't need to be out there like I

0:57:07.560 --> 0:57:10.359
<v Speaker 4>can't like and I'm not I'm not saying that I'm

0:57:10.400 --> 0:57:13.640
<v Speaker 4>a needy broad as far as like, you know, needing

0:57:13.680 --> 0:57:15.960
<v Speaker 4>someone to call me ten times a day and check.

0:57:15.880 --> 0:57:16.840
<v Speaker 3>In and do the whole thing.

0:57:17.000 --> 0:57:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Again, it's the basic standard car. He hello again. It's

0:57:20.920 --> 0:57:21.240
<v Speaker 1>it's like.

0:57:21.280 --> 0:57:23.560
<v Speaker 4>Everything that we thought was in the standard package is

0:57:23.800 --> 0:57:25.680
<v Speaker 4>like now in the goal package of a car, Like

0:57:26.080 --> 0:57:29.880
<v Speaker 4>you have to like pay super extra to get this credit.

0:57:31.120 --> 0:57:33.000
<v Speaker 1>What do we do? Like, what's the payment? What's the

0:57:33.040 --> 0:57:35.800
<v Speaker 1>payment plan? We already hello, we already look at us

0:57:35.920 --> 0:57:39.120
<v Speaker 1>like what there is there's no plan. It's hello, it's

0:57:39.160 --> 0:57:42.880
<v Speaker 1>a down payment. It's this I'm just carrious man. What

0:57:43.040 --> 0:57:45.960
<v Speaker 1>is the what is the what's the upgrade? What's the upgrade?

0:57:46.560 --> 0:57:48.800
<v Speaker 1>Is it a secret service? We don't know about. There's

0:57:48.840 --> 0:57:50.600
<v Speaker 1>no secret service. They just need to go to therapy.

0:57:51.040 --> 0:57:54.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but what changed Because I'm finding it in Olderman

0:57:54.440 --> 0:57:57.280
<v Speaker 4>I'm finding it in forty fifty plus that they're texted

0:57:57.360 --> 0:57:58.200
<v Speaker 4>more than they're talking.

0:57:58.320 --> 0:58:00.920
<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, I think that's how you date older guy. Wait,

0:58:01.240 --> 0:58:03.840
<v Speaker 1>I call you wait. I saw this clip on the

0:58:03.920 --> 0:58:07.080
<v Speaker 1>Internet and I was so annoyed. It was this man.

0:58:07.160 --> 0:58:08.840
<v Speaker 1>He was he's a older man, so he's probably like

0:58:09.280 --> 0:58:10.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know how it was. He looked a little

0:58:10.640 --> 0:58:12.440
<v Speaker 1>bit older, and he was like, yeah, you know. I

0:58:12.560 --> 0:58:14.280
<v Speaker 1>keep telling everyone like, well, you have to you have

0:58:14.400 --> 0:58:17.000
<v Speaker 1>to just get with it. Basically, ninety percent of my

0:58:17.080 --> 0:58:19.480
<v Speaker 1>interactions are on Instagram. If I'm talking to a woman,

0:58:20.240 --> 0:58:22.320
<v Speaker 1>yes girl. He was like, all ninety percent of my

0:58:22.360 --> 0:58:25.080
<v Speaker 1>interactions are on Instagram d ms and that's the that's

0:58:25.240 --> 0:58:27.040
<v Speaker 1>that's the way the world is going, and people just

0:58:27.120 --> 0:58:31.560
<v Speaker 1>need to catch up. I was like, I hate you, right, ip,

0:58:31.640 --> 0:58:34.160
<v Speaker 1>can you build on igre? The fact that this clip

0:58:34.200 --> 0:58:35.840
<v Speaker 1>even made it to the internet. I was pissed. I

0:58:36.000 --> 0:58:38.240
<v Speaker 1>was like, why are we perpetuating this dumb ass message.

0:58:38.280 --> 0:58:42.760
<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of toxic masculine I don't know how

0:58:42.840 --> 0:58:45.600
<v Speaker 2>you call it, fucking bullshit on the internet, like Kevin

0:58:45.680 --> 0:58:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Samuels and he's like fifty and he also maybe I

0:58:48.280 --> 0:58:49.720
<v Speaker 2>don't even know if he likes women, to be honest,

0:58:49.800 --> 0:58:51.720
<v Speaker 2>like I've been dying to see him, so I could

0:58:51.760 --> 0:58:54.680
<v Speaker 2>be like, do you even really like bitches? But that's

0:58:54.680 --> 0:58:56.720
<v Speaker 2>a whole different conversation I'm not going to go into.

0:58:56.840 --> 0:59:01.040
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, yeah, it's hard out here.

0:59:01.120 --> 0:59:01.760
<v Speaker 3>I'm confused.

0:59:01.880 --> 0:59:04.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm confused too, and a part of me is like,

0:59:04.280 --> 0:59:05.640
<v Speaker 1>and this is no slight to.

0:59:05.760 --> 0:59:10.000
<v Speaker 2>The LGBTQ plus community because I am included in that

0:59:10.240 --> 0:59:12.240
<v Speaker 2>some days, But like do.

0:59:12.280 --> 0:59:15.160
<v Speaker 1>You even like women? Sometimes I'm finding men and I'm like,

0:59:15.440 --> 0:59:17.760
<v Speaker 1>do you even like women? Because and they might not.

0:59:18.200 --> 0:59:20.040
<v Speaker 1>They might not. I think I just say that I'm

0:59:20.120 --> 0:59:22.120
<v Speaker 1>cool with that too, Like, just I don't be here

0:59:22.160 --> 0:59:25.760
<v Speaker 1>presenting yourself like a like a fucking eligible bachelor to

0:59:25.920 --> 0:59:28.600
<v Speaker 1>my ass with a vagina, because this is not gonna work.

0:59:29.320 --> 0:59:30.680
<v Speaker 1>Like I'm with you.

0:59:30.840 --> 0:59:33.920
<v Speaker 2>Like I want all the honesty and I'm gonna accept it.

0:59:33.960 --> 0:59:35.400
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna accept you as you are. You might not

0:59:35.440 --> 0:59:38.760
<v Speaker 2>be my nigga, but like, I very much give me options.

0:59:38.880 --> 0:59:40.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh you have other bitches? Who are they? Like? What

0:59:41.360 --> 0:59:43.160
<v Speaker 1>are we looking at? Like? Thank you? How? Like? Are

0:59:43.200 --> 0:59:44.600
<v Speaker 1>they closes? Do you see them all the time? Why

0:59:44.640 --> 0:59:45.200
<v Speaker 1>do you like her? Like?

0:59:45.480 --> 0:59:47.200
<v Speaker 2>Why can't she let her go? She's doing some shit

0:59:47.280 --> 0:59:49.280
<v Speaker 2>that I can't do. I just want to know because

0:59:49.320 --> 0:59:51.840
<v Speaker 2>I want to make the choice. But men don't give

0:59:51.880 --> 0:59:52.560
<v Speaker 2>women the choice.

0:59:53.160 --> 0:59:55.520
<v Speaker 4>But they're scared of the choice because like say, for instance,

0:59:55.520 --> 0:59:58.320
<v Speaker 4>they love me, if you're too, if you feel.

0:59:58.160 --> 1:00:00.520
<v Speaker 1>Like you tell me something that's gonna make me go, Like,

1:00:00.680 --> 1:00:02.920
<v Speaker 1>all right, if there's a broad that you can't let go.

1:00:03.000 --> 1:00:04.560
<v Speaker 3>Of, I'm gonna make the decision for us.

1:00:04.920 --> 1:00:07.200
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, I'm not included in this, so right, they

1:00:07.240 --> 1:00:09.160
<v Speaker 4>don't want you to make that decision, right, So they

1:00:09.280 --> 1:00:11.800
<v Speaker 4>lie and it's like no, no, no, no, Like I

1:00:11.880 --> 1:00:14.320
<v Speaker 4>would rather that because if now you're wasting my time

1:00:14.520 --> 1:00:16.720
<v Speaker 4>and now once I find out or now once I

1:00:17.480 --> 1:00:21.120
<v Speaker 4>see you know that she's not going away or whatever

1:00:21.160 --> 1:00:23.040
<v Speaker 4>the case may be is, and I make a decision,

1:00:23.760 --> 1:00:27.240
<v Speaker 4>you're not gonna like it, right, But bruh, at that point,

1:00:27.320 --> 1:00:29.040
<v Speaker 4>you've made a decision in not letting her go.

1:00:29.440 --> 1:00:32.800
<v Speaker 1>Listen, they don't want equal rights for us. They don't

1:00:32.800 --> 1:00:35.000
<v Speaker 1>want to go right, They ain't got to You ain't

1:00:35.000 --> 1:00:38.520
<v Speaker 1>got time. So listen, LaToya. We have a game on

1:00:38.600 --> 1:00:41.280
<v Speaker 1>our show boy that I like to play with our guests. Okay,

1:00:41.640 --> 1:00:43.240
<v Speaker 1>now we've already had a lot of talks and we

1:00:43.360 --> 1:00:45.160
<v Speaker 1>might have covered some of these things, but I just

1:00:45.240 --> 1:00:47.160
<v Speaker 1>want to play so that we can get to know

1:00:47.280 --> 1:00:51.919
<v Speaker 1>you quickly. And it's just a fun game. It's fun.

1:00:52.000 --> 1:00:52.800
<v Speaker 1>It's called trigger.

1:00:53.160 --> 1:00:54.439
<v Speaker 3>Oh boy, go good.

1:00:55.760 --> 1:00:57.400
<v Speaker 1>And basically I'm gonna say a word and you have

1:00:57.480 --> 1:00:59.520
<v Speaker 1>to say you know how you feel about that, like

1:00:59.600 --> 1:01:03.080
<v Speaker 1>the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it.

1:01:04.440 --> 1:01:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Love necessary? Marriage again, bad habits? What are they? You

1:01:20.800 --> 1:01:31.080
<v Speaker 1>want a few? Just one time? Management girl, me to

1:01:33.000 --> 1:01:40.760
<v Speaker 1>lie to me about the time. Please? Could parenting? Working

1:01:40.800 --> 1:01:44.200
<v Speaker 1>on it? That's all you can do? Being a single

1:01:44.280 --> 1:01:58.920
<v Speaker 1>mom interesting, uh, tough at times. Spirituality necessary, religion necessary,

1:02:00.120 --> 1:02:10.720
<v Speaker 1>most toxic trait yours mm hmmm mm hmm, given too

1:02:10.800 --> 1:02:20.760
<v Speaker 1>much grace, monogamy, Yeah, preferred, preferred prenup.

1:02:23.440 --> 1:02:27.480
<v Speaker 3>Oh for the next one.

1:02:27.840 --> 1:02:40.160
<v Speaker 1>YEA favorite R and B artist right now? Oh that's

1:02:40.200 --> 1:02:43.280
<v Speaker 1>such a great question. But what would they be considered?

1:02:43.440 --> 1:02:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Lucky day?

1:02:44.160 --> 1:02:45.560
<v Speaker 1>I know you're going to say that I like that

1:02:45.720 --> 1:02:52.640
<v Speaker 1>lucky whichy ship? Mhm, witchy ship? Which witchy? Witchy? Which

1:02:52.720 --> 1:02:59.880
<v Speaker 1>is witchy witchy? Spells and manifestations magic? Okay? Scared of

1:02:59.880 --> 1:03:08.360
<v Speaker 1>the favorite sex position? Mm hmm. She having a visual

1:03:08.520 --> 1:03:15.720
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't watched, She just watched her sex tape in

1:03:15.800 --> 1:03:27.360
<v Speaker 1>her head. Oh, show on top pet peeve a liar,

1:03:27.920 --> 1:03:43.080
<v Speaker 1>Destiny's child, iconic celebrity crush word. Dang Oh what is

1:03:43.240 --> 1:03:50.840
<v Speaker 1>fine as candy mean? What? Yeah? It's fine girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1:03:50.920 --> 1:03:55.160
<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah. It's like our second time talking about him

1:03:55.160 --> 1:03:58.959
<v Speaker 1>on our shows. Taste. He's tall.

1:03:59.000 --> 1:04:03.560
<v Speaker 4>I think I like his smile, and he just looks

1:04:03.600 --> 1:04:09.360
<v Speaker 4>like a tree, like a healthy alpha, heavy on that healthy.

1:04:10.880 --> 1:04:24.000
<v Speaker 1>Therapy, necessary masturbation necessary. It gets to regret. Mmmm.

1:04:24.200 --> 1:04:25.640
<v Speaker 3>That's a really good question.

1:04:27.880 --> 1:04:30.080
<v Speaker 4>That's a really good question because I will say this

1:04:30.240 --> 1:04:34.480
<v Speaker 4>the thing that I probably could say, I regret.

1:04:35.720 --> 1:04:38.200
<v Speaker 1>So much beauty came from it, so I don't regret it.

1:04:41.880 --> 1:04:45.760
<v Speaker 1>That's a hard one. So no regrets, then, no regrets, regrets,

1:04:45.840 --> 1:04:55.439
<v Speaker 1>no divorce, tough, happily ever after does happen?

1:04:56.080 --> 1:05:01.040
<v Speaker 4>You think, I definitely even and if it's even, if

1:05:01.080 --> 1:05:04.720
<v Speaker 4>it's ending with you being happily does it have.

1:05:04.760 --> 1:05:08.480
<v Speaker 1>To include somebody else? You know what I'm saying, Like, even.

1:05:08.360 --> 1:05:10.680
<v Speaker 4>If it's just I see a happy A lot of

1:05:10.720 --> 1:05:13.960
<v Speaker 4>happy old ass bitches run around, right, they ain't never

1:05:14.080 --> 1:05:16.400
<v Speaker 4>been married and never had no kids, And it's just

1:05:16.560 --> 1:05:17.720
<v Speaker 4>like what I'm looking.

1:05:17.800 --> 1:05:19.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm ninety five and I look forty eight because I

1:05:20.000 --> 1:05:21.520
<v Speaker 1>have to deal with none of that shit, no bullshit.

1:05:21.640 --> 1:05:23.400
<v Speaker 1>I love that answer because I do think a lot

1:05:23.480 --> 1:05:26.280
<v Speaker 1>of times the happily ever after is always tied to

1:05:26.520 --> 1:05:28.720
<v Speaker 1>another person, and it doesn't have to and it's never

1:05:28.960 --> 1:05:32.360
<v Speaker 1>tied to just yourself. No, it's gonna be happily ever

1:05:32.440 --> 1:05:36.080
<v Speaker 1>after regardless. Well that's it. That's trigger.

1:05:36.960 --> 1:05:38.640
<v Speaker 3>And when I say love, I meant to go back

1:05:38.680 --> 1:05:38.800
<v Speaker 3>to that.

1:05:39.080 --> 1:05:41.040
<v Speaker 1>I want to say always always.

1:05:41.480 --> 1:05:44.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, because I think I said I don't know

1:05:44.240 --> 1:05:45.840
<v Speaker 4>what I said, but I think it's when you said

1:05:45.920 --> 1:05:46.600
<v Speaker 4>love always.

1:05:48.120 --> 1:05:52.160
<v Speaker 1>I just want to shift quickly to you know, me

1:05:52.200 --> 1:05:55.000
<v Speaker 1>and Mi La have been doing good Moms for this

1:05:55.160 --> 1:05:59.560
<v Speaker 1>is our fourth year. Oh congratulations, it's our fourth year.

1:05:59.800 --> 1:06:03.680
<v Speaker 1>And one of the one of the things, obviously, I mean,

1:06:03.800 --> 1:06:07.120
<v Speaker 1>when we started this platform, we didn't really understand the

1:06:07.240 --> 1:06:10.960
<v Speaker 1>community that we were going to be a part of

1:06:11.800 --> 1:06:15.080
<v Speaker 1>connecting and just also how our friendship would be so

1:06:15.280 --> 1:06:19.320
<v Speaker 1>valuable to each other and I guess be a representation

1:06:19.560 --> 1:06:23.200
<v Speaker 1>for other women as well, and understand how important sisterhood is,

1:06:23.320 --> 1:06:26.000
<v Speaker 1>right it is? And I think you know, doing the

1:06:26.080 --> 1:06:29.720
<v Speaker 1>retreats that we do. We do these retreats in Costa Rica.

1:06:29.840 --> 1:06:35.360
<v Speaker 1>We actually just announced our most recent one and this summer,

1:06:35.520 --> 1:06:38.120
<v Speaker 1>y'all comes to the good vibratory. We still have spaces

1:06:38.240 --> 1:06:42.440
<v Speaker 1>left investing yourself. But what I've learned is that sisterhood

1:06:43.040 --> 1:06:45.919
<v Speaker 1>it's something that like we have, but like it's very

1:06:46.120 --> 1:06:49.840
<v Speaker 1>rare and that people, especially as we get older, it

1:06:49.920 --> 1:06:52.720
<v Speaker 1>feels more daunting, Like how do I even make friends?

1:06:52.840 --> 1:06:56.040
<v Speaker 1>How do I? Like, where do I start? I know that,

1:06:56.440 --> 1:06:59.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, for me, And like when I was a

1:06:59.400 --> 1:07:03.880
<v Speaker 1>kid watching Destiny Child, that was like the representation of

1:07:04.080 --> 1:07:07.400
<v Speaker 1>like sisterhood for real. Like I was like, oh my god,

1:07:07.480 --> 1:07:10.680
<v Speaker 1>that's kind of true for real, Like that's like one

1:07:10.720 --> 1:07:16.440
<v Speaker 1>of the image of like sisters. Yes, Like I was like,

1:07:16.880 --> 1:07:22.560
<v Speaker 1>y'all were so fucking fly and you're my favorite, I

1:07:22.640 --> 1:07:24.360
<v Speaker 1>swear to god. I remember I was. I was actually

1:07:24.440 --> 1:07:28.960
<v Speaker 1>in Texas because my dad's from Texas. Cey Okay, see Danks.

1:07:29.160 --> 1:07:32.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah he's from Texas. Yeah, he's from Texas, Texas. And

1:07:32.680 --> 1:07:35.640
<v Speaker 1>I remember watching your first music video and I was like,

1:07:35.840 --> 1:07:38.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to be LaToya. I'm LaToya. I'm gonna be LaToya.

1:07:38.760 --> 1:07:40.800
<v Speaker 1>She got the she got the SaaS. I just like

1:07:40.960 --> 1:07:43.480
<v Speaker 1>felt like that's me, even like I was so young,

1:07:43.520 --> 1:07:45.840
<v Speaker 1>I just knew I was about to be sassy. But

1:07:46.000 --> 1:07:48.720
<v Speaker 1>I know that, like you know, that journey of like

1:07:48.880 --> 1:07:51.320
<v Speaker 1>going on tour and like being in this environment with

1:07:51.440 --> 1:07:55.840
<v Speaker 1>your sisters and being young, and then the journey of

1:07:56.080 --> 1:07:59.560
<v Speaker 1>like being adults and the journey of sisterhood is so

1:08:00.520 --> 1:08:03.600
<v Speaker 1>it's it's an evolution if you let it be. I

1:08:03.720 --> 1:08:05.440
<v Speaker 1>want to know, like, what is the greatest lesson you've

1:08:05.560 --> 1:08:08.400
<v Speaker 1>learned from that time in your life? And what would

1:08:08.440 --> 1:08:11.920
<v Speaker 1>you have told your younger self. Oh my gosh, so

1:08:12.040 --> 1:08:17.439
<v Speaker 1>many lessons. I think that.

1:08:18.960 --> 1:08:21.400
<v Speaker 4>What I would have told my younger self was to

1:08:21.479 --> 1:08:25.280
<v Speaker 4>not lose myself even being a team player in that situation,

1:08:28.240 --> 1:08:33.800
<v Speaker 4>that I still matter, you know, I still have a voice.

1:08:34.600 --> 1:08:37.720
<v Speaker 4>And I think in that situation, I left out of

1:08:37.760 --> 1:08:39.920
<v Speaker 4>that situation feeling like I didn't have a voice.

1:08:40.000 --> 1:08:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Like I was.

1:08:41.760 --> 1:08:43.360
<v Speaker 4>It was hard for me to stand on my own,

1:08:45.920 --> 1:08:49.360
<v Speaker 4>and I went into that situation so confident God as.

1:08:49.080 --> 1:08:51.559
<v Speaker 1>Confident I felt it, I saw it. I was so confident.

1:08:53.200 --> 1:08:57.519
<v Speaker 1>But sometimes with a lot of partnerships, we lose ourselves

1:08:57.560 --> 1:09:00.720
<v Speaker 1>to become one, or we feel it's gonna make us

1:09:00.760 --> 1:09:05.200
<v Speaker 1>cohesive or you know, make the situation work out better, and.

1:09:06.280 --> 1:09:09.960
<v Speaker 3>You get so used to blending so that you.

1:09:12.600 --> 1:09:15.800
<v Speaker 4>So that you know everything is so seamless and cohesive,

1:09:15.880 --> 1:09:19.680
<v Speaker 4>and you you the way you move. You can watch

1:09:19.760 --> 1:09:22.720
<v Speaker 4>when people do like the couple's figure skating or the

1:09:23.120 --> 1:09:25.720
<v Speaker 4>you know, it's like you're supporting the greater good you

1:09:25.880 --> 1:09:29.519
<v Speaker 4>are and you have to almost lose yourself to be

1:09:29.680 --> 1:09:32.519
<v Speaker 4>this one thing, you know what I mean. And so

1:09:32.960 --> 1:09:37.320
<v Speaker 4>with DC, my role was like the soprano or whatever.

1:09:37.840 --> 1:09:40.479
<v Speaker 4>So coming out of DC, that's the only thing that

1:09:40.560 --> 1:09:43.799
<v Speaker 4>I thought I could sing, you know what I mean.

1:09:43.920 --> 1:09:45.879
<v Speaker 1>And put this label on you. You felt like labeled

1:09:46.120 --> 1:09:48.040
<v Speaker 1>I did, and you.

1:09:48.080 --> 1:09:50.320
<v Speaker 4>Know that I couldn't sing lead because that was someone

1:09:50.360 --> 1:09:54.240
<v Speaker 4>else's role when I came in. You know, as a kid,

1:09:54.280 --> 1:09:56.880
<v Speaker 4>I used to lead all the songs in church or

1:09:57.040 --> 1:09:59.360
<v Speaker 4>you know what I mean. I was even in like

1:09:59.840 --> 1:10:02.760
<v Speaker 4>a the neighborhood girls group before I got into DC

1:10:03.040 --> 1:10:04.320
<v Speaker 4>and I was singing lead.

1:10:04.439 --> 1:10:06.360
<v Speaker 3>Then I did not feel like I could sing lead

1:10:06.439 --> 1:10:07.320
<v Speaker 3>when I came out of DC.

1:10:07.520 --> 1:10:11.160
<v Speaker 4>But that's because for so long I felt like I

1:10:11.200 --> 1:10:15.200
<v Speaker 4>had sacrificed myself for the greater good, which was, you know,

1:10:15.600 --> 1:10:18.240
<v Speaker 4>my role that I played in DC, and I am

1:10:18.320 --> 1:10:20.760
<v Speaker 4>grateful that I was given the opportunity to play that

1:10:20.880 --> 1:10:23.800
<v Speaker 4>role and sometimes First of all, I think that that's

1:10:23.840 --> 1:10:25.960
<v Speaker 4>what made us so great is everyone played their role

1:10:26.080 --> 1:10:28.000
<v Speaker 4>so well, you know what I mean.

1:10:28.080 --> 1:10:29.920
<v Speaker 3>So it worked out for the group, but I.

1:10:29.960 --> 1:10:34.200
<v Speaker 1>Think individually it did something to my confidence. Especially.

1:10:34.240 --> 1:10:35.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, you were so young, I was so young.

1:10:36.760 --> 1:10:38.600
<v Speaker 4>So I think that that would be the one thing

1:10:38.680 --> 1:10:41.720
<v Speaker 4>that I would tell my younger self is don't lose yourself, baby.

1:10:41.760 --> 1:10:45.680
<v Speaker 4>You still matter, you know, still remain confident in who

1:10:46.280 --> 1:10:48.519
<v Speaker 4>God created you to be, in the gift that He

1:10:48.640 --> 1:10:51.280
<v Speaker 4>gave you, and it doesn't you don't have to shrink

1:10:51.320 --> 1:10:56.400
<v Speaker 4>yourself to be good at your role. And so that

1:10:56.479 --> 1:10:58.920
<v Speaker 4>would be the one thing that I would tell myself.

1:11:00.200 --> 1:11:02.800
<v Speaker 4>I learned so much from that situation, and gratefully we're

1:11:02.840 --> 1:11:04.760
<v Speaker 4>all still really cool and love each other.

1:11:05.320 --> 1:11:10.479
<v Speaker 3>I just start to kill today, and it's beautiful that after.

1:11:10.400 --> 1:11:11.200
<v Speaker 1>So many years.

1:11:11.640 --> 1:11:14.360
<v Speaker 3>The love is still there through everything that we've been through.

1:11:14.880 --> 1:11:17.960
<v Speaker 1>People can assume that we hate each other and it

1:11:18.040 --> 1:11:19.639
<v Speaker 1>didn't work out and blah blah blah.

1:11:19.760 --> 1:11:23.640
<v Speaker 4>But we were friends first. I'm at being school like

1:11:24.000 --> 1:11:26.160
<v Speaker 4>that was. We was in elementary school together, you know

1:11:26.200 --> 1:11:30.599
<v Speaker 4>what I mean. And our commonalities is what brought us together.

1:11:30.960 --> 1:11:33.600
<v Speaker 4>Our bonding over music are all these different things is

1:11:33.640 --> 1:11:34.479
<v Speaker 4>what brought us together.

1:11:34.600 --> 1:11:36.000
<v Speaker 1>And I don't think that ever changed.

1:11:36.400 --> 1:11:38.679
<v Speaker 4>It's just a shame that, like, you know, when business

1:11:38.720 --> 1:11:42.720
<v Speaker 4>gets involved, things happen, and we were too young to

1:11:43.000 --> 1:11:45.200
<v Speaker 4>understand the business and what was happening.

1:11:45.720 --> 1:11:48.479
<v Speaker 1>Of course. Yeah, I would imagine being like fifteen sixteen,

1:11:48.840 --> 1:11:51.920
<v Speaker 1>having so many adults with you know, just with so

1:11:52.360 --> 1:11:57.320
<v Speaker 1>being impressionable, having altered aterior motives and just lies and

1:11:57.439 --> 1:12:00.200
<v Speaker 1>not being able to know, like have discernment. Yeah, as

1:12:00.200 --> 1:12:02.680
<v Speaker 1>you're still learning yourself, you're still learning your body, you're

1:12:02.720 --> 1:12:05.000
<v Speaker 1>still learning so many things. You just started your period

1:12:05.040 --> 1:12:06.600
<v Speaker 1>on the route. I don't know if that happened, but

1:12:07.520 --> 1:12:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I just imagine, yeah, but it's that's that's

1:12:11.479 --> 1:12:12.759
<v Speaker 1>all real, that's all truth.

1:12:13.479 --> 1:12:16.880
<v Speaker 3>But I learned you're right, I learned about sisterhood through

1:12:17.320 --> 1:12:18.320
<v Speaker 3>being in DC, like.

1:12:19.960 --> 1:12:23.000
<v Speaker 4>We had a bond like no other, Like we were

1:12:23.040 --> 1:12:25.800
<v Speaker 4>each other's best friends, we were each other's sisters, like

1:12:25.880 --> 1:12:29.639
<v Speaker 4>for real, we knew everything about one another.

1:12:29.920 --> 1:12:32.679
<v Speaker 3>There was it was just so much love there.

1:12:33.400 --> 1:12:37.040
<v Speaker 4>It was so much love there, and I felt like,

1:12:37.320 --> 1:12:41.000
<v Speaker 4>you know, moving forward from that after that, the friendships

1:12:41.040 --> 1:12:44.040
<v Speaker 4>that you know, God blessed me with. That's what I've

1:12:44.080 --> 1:12:50.040
<v Speaker 4>had is true love. A real tribe of sisters who

1:12:52.080 --> 1:12:54.640
<v Speaker 4>loved me with all of my flaws. Who I can

1:12:54.720 --> 1:12:56.840
<v Speaker 4>call and say, I'm having a real fucked up day

1:12:57.320 --> 1:12:59.479
<v Speaker 4>and it ain't make it better or tell me the

1:12:59.520 --> 1:13:01.280
<v Speaker 4>truth about myself, but you fucked up.

1:13:02.360 --> 1:13:05.000
<v Speaker 1>I need all that. Someone who's gonna love my kids

1:13:05.080 --> 1:13:08.240
<v Speaker 1>and be there from my kids sometimes even better than

1:13:08.240 --> 1:13:10.880
<v Speaker 1>I would. Someone that shows up for me I have.

1:13:11.200 --> 1:13:14.920
<v Speaker 3>I have that, and I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed.

1:13:14.960 --> 1:13:17.920
<v Speaker 4>And now I'm realizing that there are so many, unfortunately

1:13:18.000 --> 1:13:18.920
<v Speaker 4>women that don't have that.

1:13:20.880 --> 1:13:25.360
<v Speaker 1>Yes, there are, there are. It is, it's it's it's

1:13:25.439 --> 1:13:30.040
<v Speaker 1>a it's I started. We started this podcast because I

1:13:30.120 --> 1:13:33.840
<v Speaker 1>felt alone and we felt alone. And now that we

1:13:34.080 --> 1:13:36.560
<v Speaker 1>have each other and we've built this community and like

1:13:36.680 --> 1:13:39.880
<v Speaker 1>have so many friends within the good Mom's tribe. Like

1:13:40.920 --> 1:13:42.600
<v Speaker 1>we get hit up all the time about like I

1:13:42.640 --> 1:13:45.479
<v Speaker 1>don't have a tribe. I live here, I've relocated here,

1:13:45.520 --> 1:13:47.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any friends here. How do I make friends?

1:13:48.240 --> 1:13:52.280
<v Speaker 1>LA is hard for that it's la adulthood, you know,

1:13:52.479 --> 1:13:55.799
<v Speaker 1>But a lot of times it really it does take effort,

1:13:55.880 --> 1:13:58.479
<v Speaker 1>and it's an effort that like feels uncomfortable. It's an

1:13:58.560 --> 1:14:06.320
<v Speaker 1>effort that feel almost like not organic. And it's hard

1:14:06.360 --> 1:14:08.280
<v Speaker 1>for you to trust out here too, is it's very

1:14:08.320 --> 1:14:11.360
<v Speaker 1>hard for to trust women. There's a lot of there's

1:14:11.360 --> 1:14:15.639
<v Speaker 1>a lot. Yeah, it's very difficult. And you know, I'm

1:14:15.680 --> 1:14:18.400
<v Speaker 1>grateful that you know, I have Jamila, but I'm also

1:14:18.400 --> 1:14:21.839
<v Speaker 1>grateful that we've created this platform so that people can connect.

1:14:22.280 --> 1:14:24.519
<v Speaker 1>And if you guys are listening and you feel you

1:14:24.640 --> 1:14:27.600
<v Speaker 1>relate to this, please come to the retreat because we

1:14:27.760 --> 1:14:29.719
<v Speaker 1>have so many women that came to our last retreat

1:14:29.800 --> 1:14:33.840
<v Speaker 1>that are real friends after leaving the jungles of Costa Rica.

1:14:33.920 --> 1:14:35.479
<v Speaker 1>Now you don't got to go to the jungles to

1:14:35.560 --> 1:14:37.920
<v Speaker 1>make friends, right, but sometimes you got to get out

1:14:37.960 --> 1:14:41.120
<v Speaker 1>of your element. You got to get out of your element,

1:14:41.280 --> 1:14:45.439
<v Speaker 1>out of your way to surrender to the possibility of

1:14:45.560 --> 1:14:49.400
<v Speaker 1>the unknown and trusting women is part of that. I

1:14:49.439 --> 1:14:51.400
<v Speaker 1>feel like a lot of us we do not trust

1:14:51.439 --> 1:14:53.560
<v Speaker 1>one another. I've been there before where I've been like,

1:14:53.600 --> 1:14:56.479
<v Speaker 1>I don't trust that bitch, And there are some bitches

1:14:56.520 --> 1:15:00.599
<v Speaker 1>I don't trust for sure, there's some untrustworthy bitches. There's

1:15:00.640 --> 1:15:05.160
<v Speaker 1>also untrustworthy men. Like it goes both ways. But I

1:15:05.280 --> 1:15:09.560
<v Speaker 1>think that when we come together, and like the sisterhood

1:15:09.600 --> 1:15:14.439
<v Speaker 1>comes together, it's so powerful, it's so beautiful. And like

1:15:14.520 --> 1:15:18.240
<v Speaker 1>when I watched You Girl and Destiny's Child and I

1:15:18.320 --> 1:15:21.360
<v Speaker 1>saw the sisterhood, I was like, Yo, I'm gonna start

1:15:21.360 --> 1:15:24.439
<v Speaker 1>my own Destiny Child because I mean not anymore. I

1:15:24.479 --> 1:15:26.880
<v Speaker 1>don't know I singing careers. No, it didn't happen, but

1:15:29.479 --> 1:15:33.000
<v Speaker 1>but but it was inspiring. And I think, like especially

1:15:33.080 --> 1:15:36.080
<v Speaker 1>teaching our daughters, our young girls, like how important it

1:15:36.280 --> 1:15:40.000
<v Speaker 1>is for your female, like your female connections, those bonds

1:15:40.520 --> 1:15:43.400
<v Speaker 1>and pouring into them like you would pour into your relationship,

1:15:43.760 --> 1:15:47.519
<v Speaker 1>pour into your husband, pour into your girlfriends, pour into

1:15:47.600 --> 1:15:50.360
<v Speaker 1>them just like you would pour into those relationships. Because

1:15:51.160 --> 1:15:56.880
<v Speaker 1>it's when you do, like, it's powerful, and it's just

1:15:57.000 --> 1:16:00.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I feel like I feel like we

1:16:00.520 --> 1:16:06.240
<v Speaker 1>often reserve that type of love for the art intimate partners.

1:16:06.360 --> 1:16:08.479
<v Speaker 1>But me and me will always talk about our platonic

1:16:08.600 --> 1:16:13.840
<v Speaker 1>love and like our platonic marriage and this is.

1:16:13.840 --> 1:16:16.280
<v Speaker 4>A marriage, Yeah, this is a marriage, is a partnership,

1:16:16.320 --> 1:16:19.479
<v Speaker 4>it's the same thing. Yeah, I think that we have

1:16:19.640 --> 1:16:21.960
<v Speaker 4>one way of looking at it sometimes and that's not.

1:16:22.479 --> 1:16:23.439
<v Speaker 1>Always the best way.

1:16:23.600 --> 1:16:27.080
<v Speaker 4>Like, you guys have a beautiful marriage, and when you

1:16:27.200 --> 1:16:30.040
<v Speaker 4>guys decided to create this partnership, you have like a

1:16:30.160 --> 1:16:31.120
<v Speaker 4>covenant with each other.

1:16:31.840 --> 1:16:34.280
<v Speaker 1>And what's crazy is I feel you will remain more

1:16:34.320 --> 1:16:36.320
<v Speaker 1>faithful to this relationship.

1:16:35.840 --> 1:16:38.520
<v Speaker 4>Than a lot of people will in their love relationships

1:16:39.120 --> 1:16:42.360
<v Speaker 4>because you know, you have that grace with each other.

1:16:42.479 --> 1:16:44.880
<v Speaker 1>You see each other, you appreciate each other.

1:16:44.960 --> 1:16:47.880
<v Speaker 4>I've heard the whole beginning of the segment about how

1:16:47.920 --> 1:16:49.880
<v Speaker 4>you guys go on and sit in the car and talk,

1:16:50.000 --> 1:16:52.960
<v Speaker 4>and we do that with our girlfriends. But this is

1:16:53.840 --> 1:16:55.719
<v Speaker 4>that this is the thing that a lot of people

1:16:55.800 --> 1:17:00.320
<v Speaker 4>wish they had in their relationships, their love relationship, but.

1:17:00.400 --> 1:17:03.160
<v Speaker 2>This is But yeah, this has taught me a lot too,

1:17:03.520 --> 1:17:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Like this, I feel like this relationship and partnership is

1:17:06.400 --> 1:17:10.240
<v Speaker 2>going to like contribute to my husband, Like when he comes,

1:17:10.360 --> 1:17:13.200
<v Speaker 2>I'll have like this has given me better tools to

1:17:13.280 --> 1:17:15.599
<v Speaker 2>be able to be like, Okay, this made me feel insecure,

1:17:15.760 --> 1:17:18.400
<v Speaker 2>like like even just talking every day, Like I mean

1:17:18.880 --> 1:17:22.240
<v Speaker 2>obviously we talk every day, but like just having a

1:17:22.360 --> 1:17:26.040
<v Speaker 2>platform or we talk every week, and I've become not

1:17:26.200 --> 1:17:30.679
<v Speaker 2>all the way, but more comfortable with just being super

1:17:30.760 --> 1:17:33.240
<v Speaker 2>transparent and honest even if it doesn't support me. One

1:17:33.280 --> 1:17:34.800
<v Speaker 2>of the things we said in the car was like

1:17:36.520 --> 1:17:38.680
<v Speaker 2>talking about our insecurities and our fears, and I was like,

1:17:38.880 --> 1:17:40.840
<v Speaker 2>I would never say this to anybody else, but like

1:17:40.960 --> 1:17:43.639
<v Speaker 2>I'm scared if or if you say this that. She's

1:17:43.680 --> 1:17:46.200
<v Speaker 2>like yeah, because it's just really frowned down.

1:17:46.120 --> 1:17:48.599
<v Speaker 1>On to be a hater. Well, we were talking about

1:17:48.640 --> 1:17:51.320
<v Speaker 1>like what insecurities we have with one another, Like hey,

1:17:51.520 --> 1:17:54.800
<v Speaker 1>like when you like this isn't a popular statement and

1:17:55.120 --> 1:17:57.920
<v Speaker 1>this is honestly, this isn't insecurity, I'm gonna share like

1:17:58.479 --> 1:18:00.640
<v Speaker 1>like there's been times where Jamila is like killing it,

1:18:00.800 --> 1:18:02.920
<v Speaker 1>like she's like going off and she's speaking something, She's

1:18:02.920 --> 1:18:05.640
<v Speaker 1>speaking about something so eloquently, and I'm like, damn, like

1:18:05.760 --> 1:18:09.000
<v Speaker 1>is she smarter than me? Like fuck? Like like damn,

1:18:09.160 --> 1:18:12.080
<v Speaker 1>Like I felt insecure, like and then she shared that

1:18:12.200 --> 1:18:13.400
<v Speaker 1>I was like I was like I think I'm ready

1:18:13.400 --> 1:18:14.800
<v Speaker 1>to get back into acting, and she was like, oh

1:18:14.840 --> 1:18:16.559
<v Speaker 1>my god, is she gonna leave me? Like these are

1:18:16.680 --> 1:18:19.479
<v Speaker 1>things that like, as friends, like you feel like you

1:18:19.560 --> 1:18:21.720
<v Speaker 1>can't share because it makes you a hater or it

1:18:21.800 --> 1:18:24.160
<v Speaker 1>makes you feel like it makes you feel like, oh

1:18:24.240 --> 1:18:27.040
<v Speaker 1>my god, this is so weak of me to feel like,

1:18:27.080 --> 1:18:28.599
<v Speaker 1>how dare I? How could I ever feel this way

1:18:28.600 --> 1:18:31.360
<v Speaker 1>about someone I love, you know, but it's like we're human,

1:18:32.040 --> 1:18:33.559
<v Speaker 1>We're human. And then when I said it to her,

1:18:33.600 --> 1:18:34.640
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh my god, I'm so glad I

1:18:34.680 --> 1:18:36.920
<v Speaker 1>said this shit because now you're like, I don't even

1:18:36.960 --> 1:18:39.000
<v Speaker 1>know why. She was like, because it's not popular to

1:18:39.080 --> 1:18:40.920
<v Speaker 1>be a hater. I'm like, I don't I love you.

1:18:41.240 --> 1:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I feel this way. It's stupid.

1:18:45.960 --> 1:18:47.519
<v Speaker 2>But you know, like even in the time of like

1:18:47.600 --> 1:18:50.280
<v Speaker 2>social media and LaToya, you probably dealt with this much earlier,

1:18:50.439 --> 1:18:51.160
<v Speaker 2>like because you.

1:18:51.200 --> 1:18:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Were in a public forum very early on, well, social

1:18:54.880 --> 1:18:55.719
<v Speaker 1>media was not around.

1:18:56.200 --> 1:19:02.000
<v Speaker 2>God, thank god, you've dealt with public like just just

1:19:02.120 --> 1:19:05.760
<v Speaker 2>public judgment and being in spaces with other women that

1:19:05.800 --> 1:19:07.800
<v Speaker 2>you're close to and being on a platform with other

1:19:07.840 --> 1:19:10.160
<v Speaker 2>women that you're close to that you love and still

1:19:10.240 --> 1:19:14.479
<v Speaker 2>I'm probably I'm probably sure, like feeling insecurities and feeling

1:19:14.600 --> 1:19:19.040
<v Speaker 2>ways that humans feel that come up, like jealousy, like triggers,

1:19:19.200 --> 1:19:21.960
<v Speaker 2>like all these things insecurities, you know, and if you

1:19:22.040 --> 1:19:24.280
<v Speaker 2>don't work on them and check check them and like

1:19:24.400 --> 1:19:26.759
<v Speaker 2>have conversations about them, or you don't even feel comfortable

1:19:26.840 --> 1:19:29.400
<v Speaker 2>enough to do that, you'll you'll, like all those things

1:19:29.439 --> 1:19:30.080
<v Speaker 2>will build up.

1:19:30.040 --> 1:19:30.560
<v Speaker 1>Inside of you.

1:19:30.720 --> 1:19:33.360
<v Speaker 2>But like being in a space with other women that

1:19:33.479 --> 1:19:35.600
<v Speaker 2>you love on a on a you know, a platform,

1:19:35.920 --> 1:19:38.200
<v Speaker 2>and people can, you know, make judgments and pick at

1:19:38.240 --> 1:19:40.240
<v Speaker 2>you and say whatever the fuck people say because people

1:19:40.240 --> 1:19:40.760
<v Speaker 2>are bored and.

1:19:40.760 --> 1:19:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Don't know what the fuck they're talking about. But it's

1:19:43.080 --> 1:19:47.040
<v Speaker 1>probably prepared you a lot to be able to function

1:19:47.160 --> 1:19:50.160
<v Speaker 1>in this new world where everything is public and people

1:19:50.439 --> 1:19:52.479
<v Speaker 1>can see at a restaurant be like, oh, she's dating

1:19:52.520 --> 1:19:55.479
<v Speaker 1>this person, or she's she has beef with this person,

1:19:55.520 --> 1:19:57.840
<v Speaker 1>and be like, well, damn, Like this is my sister

1:19:57.920 --> 1:19:59.560
<v Speaker 1>and I love her and I don't need to.

1:20:00.160 --> 1:20:03.200
<v Speaker 2>You've probably had a lot of tools to combat other

1:20:03.439 --> 1:20:07.400
<v Speaker 2>outside criticism, whereas I feel like I'm learning that now,

1:20:08.439 --> 1:20:11.360
<v Speaker 2>and social media in ways has helped and also hurt.

1:20:11.560 --> 1:20:14.240
<v Speaker 2>But thank god, I have a friendship and a sister

1:20:14.360 --> 1:20:17.400
<v Speaker 2>that I can like really have these conversations with and

1:20:17.520 --> 1:20:18.439
<v Speaker 2>be like, am I crazy?

1:20:18.640 --> 1:20:20.200
<v Speaker 1>Like why do I feel like you're gonna leave me?

1:20:20.240 --> 1:20:22.360
<v Speaker 1>Like you're my nigga and I'm going to be alone

1:20:22.400 --> 1:20:23.880
<v Speaker 1>and miserable and like I'm.

1:20:23.760 --> 1:20:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Not going to succeed without you, you know, Like it's

1:20:25.960 --> 1:20:28.519
<v Speaker 2>just even in a relationship, like we've built something together

1:20:28.600 --> 1:20:30.880
<v Speaker 2>and there's fear like oh, you'll meet someone else and

1:20:30.960 --> 1:20:35.000
<v Speaker 2>leave me, but really loving yourself enough and understanding your

1:20:35.040 --> 1:20:38.280
<v Speaker 2>power enough, like no one's going to leave me and

1:20:38.280 --> 1:20:41.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna fucking melt and die like it doesn't exist

1:20:41.080 --> 1:20:44.000
<v Speaker 2>that way, And in fact, these are normal feelings and

1:20:44.120 --> 1:20:46.320
<v Speaker 2>we should express them and we should get used to

1:20:46.439 --> 1:20:49.360
<v Speaker 2>talking about it because that's how we like work past

1:20:49.439 --> 1:20:51.719
<v Speaker 2>the insecurities that are not real and like the negative

1:20:51.760 --> 1:20:54.360
<v Speaker 2>self talk that we all inevitably have.

1:20:55.000 --> 1:20:56.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, I think a lot of times too, like

1:20:57.400 --> 1:21:01.120
<v Speaker 1>it's the journey to whatever the goal is. If I'm if,

1:21:01.240 --> 1:21:04.720
<v Speaker 1>I nine times out of ten, I usually do feel like,

1:21:04.800 --> 1:21:07.080
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I love that for you. That's amazing,

1:21:07.160 --> 1:21:10.600
<v Speaker 1>You're amazing, But like I'm human, and I feel like

1:21:10.720 --> 1:21:12.560
<v Speaker 1>every human, like it doesn't make me less of a

1:21:12.640 --> 1:21:15.400
<v Speaker 1>friend or less of a person if I feel and

1:21:15.880 --> 1:21:18.760
<v Speaker 1>insecure about my friend in some way and I feel like,

1:21:19.000 --> 1:21:21.080
<v Speaker 1>like I said, this is not a popular thing to say,

1:21:21.360 --> 1:21:24.479
<v Speaker 1>especially in sisterhood, right. You know, it's like, well, I

1:21:24.520 --> 1:21:26.840
<v Speaker 1>thought I thought that was your sister, Like, oh, she's

1:21:26.840 --> 1:21:29.160
<v Speaker 1>not your sister. Oh my god, you're jealous of your sister.

1:21:29.280 --> 1:21:31.360
<v Speaker 1>Can't be your sister. It's like, no, bitch, it's a

1:21:31.479 --> 1:21:34.759
<v Speaker 1>journey and we're all working towards it exactly.

1:21:35.120 --> 1:21:37.280
<v Speaker 4>And but the beauty is you, guys, And what we

1:21:37.439 --> 1:21:41.080
<v Speaker 4>don't do in some of our other relationships is you

1:21:41.200 --> 1:21:45.280
<v Speaker 4>guys communicated. This is how I genuinely feel, and she

1:21:46.479 --> 1:21:49.240
<v Speaker 4>still loved you through it, you know what I mean? Like,

1:21:49.960 --> 1:21:52.120
<v Speaker 4>I think that there's so much fear. We operate in

1:21:52.240 --> 1:21:54.680
<v Speaker 4>so much fear, and I love relationships, and that's what

1:21:54.920 --> 1:21:55.280
<v Speaker 4>kills it?

1:21:55.360 --> 1:21:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Did You know what I mean?

1:21:56.880 --> 1:22:02.560
<v Speaker 4>It should You shouldn't fear being honest or transparent with

1:22:02.800 --> 1:22:05.519
<v Speaker 4>someone that you love, you know what I mean? And

1:22:05.640 --> 1:22:08.320
<v Speaker 4>what doesn't matter what kind of friendship if the love

1:22:08.439 --> 1:22:09.960
<v Speaker 4>is there, what is love patient and kind?

1:22:10.880 --> 1:22:11.400
<v Speaker 1>You know what I mean?

1:22:12.400 --> 1:22:15.519
<v Speaker 4>I'm going to be understanding of whatever it is you

1:22:15.680 --> 1:22:18.559
<v Speaker 4>just told me I'm gonna be patient with you. I'm

1:22:18.600 --> 1:22:20.640
<v Speaker 4>gonna love you through it. I'm gonna be kind with

1:22:20.800 --> 1:22:23.200
<v Speaker 4>my words. I'm going to understand that this is a

1:22:23.360 --> 1:22:25.000
<v Speaker 4>very sensitive issue with you.

1:22:25.600 --> 1:22:28.439
<v Speaker 3>Like what's so hard about that?

1:22:28.760 --> 1:22:30.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's crazy, Like, hey, I'm human? Is that is

1:22:31.000 --> 1:22:33.360
<v Speaker 1>that cool with you? Yeah? And hey, I told you

1:22:33.600 --> 1:22:36.160
<v Speaker 1>you probably felt the love and the release. I was like,

1:22:36.280 --> 1:22:38.960
<v Speaker 1>think you exactly. I'm like, I don't even know why

1:22:39.000 --> 1:22:42.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm having these feelings. It's so stupid, right, and it's so.

1:22:42.600 --> 1:22:45.160
<v Speaker 4>Crazy because when you are in like your your love

1:22:45.240 --> 1:22:47.760
<v Speaker 4>relationships and you guys do have those moments, that's when

1:22:47.800 --> 1:22:50.080
<v Speaker 4>you have the best sex, right, Yeah, because you had

1:22:50.120 --> 1:22:52.880
<v Speaker 4>a release. So I'm like, let's have more sex, let's

1:22:52.880 --> 1:22:54.760
<v Speaker 4>have more moments like this, or if we can be

1:22:54.920 --> 1:22:56.960
<v Speaker 4>honest and transparent and say.

1:22:56.880 --> 1:22:58.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know like what I do leave, I do

1:22:58.840 --> 1:23:00.240
<v Speaker 1>want to call you ten times because I want to

1:23:00.240 --> 1:23:01.360
<v Speaker 1>know where the fuck you are all the time.

1:23:01.439 --> 1:23:02.840
<v Speaker 3>But I'm not gonna do that because it can maybe

1:23:02.880 --> 1:23:03.320
<v Speaker 3>seem great.

1:23:04.120 --> 1:23:04.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to do that.

1:23:05.240 --> 1:23:08.120
<v Speaker 3>So which I would never do that, say that I'm

1:23:08.160 --> 1:23:08.559
<v Speaker 3>that person.

1:23:08.680 --> 1:23:12.000
<v Speaker 4>I am just saying that when you have those notice

1:23:12.040 --> 1:23:15.960
<v Speaker 4>that when you do have those conversations, you guys get

1:23:16.040 --> 1:23:18.880
<v Speaker 4>stronger and stronger, your connection gets stronger and stronger. So

1:23:19.000 --> 1:23:21.680
<v Speaker 4>why not want more of that in your relationships? We

1:23:21.840 --> 1:23:24.880
<v Speaker 4>have it in our girl you know, our girly relationships,

1:23:25.280 --> 1:23:26.280
<v Speaker 4>but we don't have that in.

1:23:26.360 --> 1:23:33.040
<v Speaker 1>Our well o girl, girl, god, god, you know your

1:23:33.080 --> 1:23:37.560
<v Speaker 1>relationshipate romantic relationships. I think more of that is necessary

1:23:38.120 --> 1:23:40.519
<v Speaker 1>for sure. I feel like I used to offer more

1:23:40.560 --> 1:23:42.760
<v Speaker 1>grace for men, and now I don't. I offer so

1:23:42.880 --> 1:23:45.400
<v Speaker 1>much grace for my girlfriends, whereas now I've given, like

1:23:45.439 --> 1:23:47.800
<v Speaker 1>I have these amazing friendships and now it's time to

1:23:48.000 --> 1:23:51.439
<v Speaker 1>like I'm ready to like offer more grace to men.

1:23:51.760 --> 1:23:54.960
<v Speaker 1>And like Jimia Lesband, she's like my practice relationship hilarious.

1:23:55.720 --> 1:23:58.439
<v Speaker 1>There's there's things that I like, like for like sharing

1:23:58.479 --> 1:24:01.000
<v Speaker 1>those type of things that like maybe i'd be now

1:24:01.120 --> 1:24:03.240
<v Speaker 1>as I've been single for five years, almost like I

1:24:03.320 --> 1:24:05.960
<v Speaker 1>would be. I'm nervous to share with a man, you know,

1:24:06.680 --> 1:24:08.439
<v Speaker 1>And so I don't know. I just feel like for

1:24:08.520 --> 1:24:12.320
<v Speaker 1>those listening practice on your friends, practice love with your friends.

1:24:12.400 --> 1:24:14.960
<v Speaker 1>Pour into your friends like you pour into your relationship.

1:24:15.160 --> 1:24:17.439
<v Speaker 1>If you pour into your relation, if you pour into

1:24:17.439 --> 1:24:20.559
<v Speaker 1>a relationship with your friends, then practice with your give

1:24:20.600 --> 1:24:22.720
<v Speaker 1>your your nigga the same grace you would give your

1:24:22.720 --> 1:24:26.240
<v Speaker 1>girlfriend and vice versa, because they are all relationships. They

1:24:26.240 --> 1:24:30.599
<v Speaker 1>should all be in acts of love and there shouldn't

1:24:30.640 --> 1:24:33.880
<v Speaker 1>be this big difference in what it is besides the

1:24:33.960 --> 1:24:37.000
<v Speaker 1>fact that like you're sleeping together or not. You know,

1:24:37.320 --> 1:24:41.000
<v Speaker 1>really it's all about love and friendship and like respect,

1:24:41.160 --> 1:24:44.720
<v Speaker 1>like do like yeah, like it's so simple, but we

1:24:44.840 --> 1:24:47.799
<v Speaker 1>make it so hard. It could all be so simple

1:24:48.439 --> 1:24:49.320
<v Speaker 1>just operating that.

1:24:50.960 --> 1:24:53.519
<v Speaker 2>It's true, Like even in the relationship that I have

1:24:53.640 --> 1:24:56.680
<v Speaker 2>right now, that's that's open. It's not monogamous, but like

1:24:57.040 --> 1:25:00.439
<v Speaker 2>I am free to exist as I am, to come

1:25:00.479 --> 1:25:02.400
<v Speaker 2>as I am. I'm free to be like I'm jealous,

1:25:03.800 --> 1:25:06.439
<v Speaker 2>I'm insecure about that, and then mark through it. I'm like, Okay,

1:25:06.560 --> 1:25:07.840
<v Speaker 2>maybe I don't need to, maybe I don't need to

1:25:07.840 --> 1:25:09.760
<v Speaker 2>say that, or maybe I don't have a reason to.

1:25:09.880 --> 1:25:13.320
<v Speaker 2>And even just practicing, like this bitch loves me, this

1:25:13.439 --> 1:25:15.599
<v Speaker 2>person loves me and respects me, and I don't really

1:25:15.840 --> 1:25:18.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm not afraid of losing them, Like because I know

1:25:18.680 --> 1:25:21.799
<v Speaker 2>who this person is and I know that it's mutual,

1:25:22.240 --> 1:25:23.240
<v Speaker 2>there's really no fear.

1:25:23.400 --> 1:25:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Like things can shift relationships can shift. People shift. I'm

1:25:28.000 --> 1:25:29.960
<v Speaker 1>not the same bitch I was in January. You know,

1:25:30.120 --> 1:25:32.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm not the same bitch I was in fucking March.

1:25:33.080 --> 1:25:38.600
<v Speaker 1>But like it's just practicing being like self.

1:25:38.360 --> 1:25:41.800
<v Speaker 2>Aware enough to communicate that to the people around you

1:25:42.160 --> 1:25:44.719
<v Speaker 2>and notice when the people around you are not receiving

1:25:44.800 --> 1:25:49.160
<v Speaker 2>it and can't and can't reciprocate that, because I think

1:25:49.160 --> 1:25:51.719
<v Speaker 2>that's a big thing too. We grow up with friends

1:25:51.760 --> 1:25:53.680
<v Speaker 2>that we've had for a long time, and then you

1:25:53.800 --> 1:25:55.920
<v Speaker 2>feel stuck and being the person you grew up with

1:25:56.000 --> 1:25:57.840
<v Speaker 2>them and they see you just as that and you

1:25:57.920 --> 1:26:00.400
<v Speaker 2>can't get out of that. But like it's really good

1:26:00.439 --> 1:26:02.400
<v Speaker 2>to keep checking in and who makes you feel good

1:26:02.439 --> 1:26:03.240
<v Speaker 2>and who your tribe is.

1:26:03.360 --> 1:26:05.639
<v Speaker 1>Like I agree with that. Like I say this a lot.

1:26:06.960 --> 1:26:12.200
<v Speaker 2>Life is to be experienced with pleasure, Like life is pleasure.

1:26:12.320 --> 1:26:14.840
<v Speaker 2>And if you're not experiencing like sex in all of

1:26:14.880 --> 1:26:17.600
<v Speaker 2>your relationships and not literally speaking, but if you're not

1:26:17.720 --> 1:26:21.880
<v Speaker 2>experiencing like breakthrough pleasure moments with all of your friends,

1:26:22.040 --> 1:26:25.360
<v Speaker 2>break through conversations that may be uncomfortable, but afterwards you're

1:26:25.400 --> 1:26:28.000
<v Speaker 2>making love Because I'm like, oh.

1:26:27.920 --> 1:26:30.040
<v Speaker 1>My god, I'm I'm so happy.

1:26:30.080 --> 1:26:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I can tell this bitch all this weird shit in

1:26:31.840 --> 1:26:35.439
<v Speaker 2>my mind, you know, like it's it's not worth it.

1:26:35.720 --> 1:26:38.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, if you don't feel those moments often in

1:26:38.200 --> 1:26:40.800
<v Speaker 2>the relationships that you keep, it's probably not your people.

1:26:41.439 --> 1:26:44.080
<v Speaker 2>You've got to find your tribe and you've got to

1:26:44.120 --> 1:26:45.800
<v Speaker 2>find people that make you like even if it's you

1:26:45.880 --> 1:26:48.479
<v Speaker 2>pushing yourself to be like this is my honest feelings.

1:26:48.960 --> 1:26:52.800
<v Speaker 2>It's so important to fight for those type of relationships

1:26:52.920 --> 1:26:57.000
<v Speaker 2>and go to the good vibra tree and find bitches

1:26:57.040 --> 1:26:58.880
<v Speaker 2>that you can do that with, not bitches women. I

1:26:58.960 --> 1:27:03.439
<v Speaker 2>need to stop with the bitches the witches that you

1:27:03.560 --> 1:27:06.160
<v Speaker 2>can you can relate to in that way. And even

1:27:06.200 --> 1:27:09.360
<v Speaker 2>if that means letting go of old friendships and finding

1:27:09.479 --> 1:27:11.599
<v Speaker 2>new ones that serve you, that that's.

1:27:11.479 --> 1:27:15.880
<v Speaker 1>What needs to happen. Fact, your friendships and your.

1:27:15.800 --> 1:27:20.680
<v Speaker 2>Relationships should definitely motivate you to grow, even if it's uncomfortable.

1:27:20.720 --> 1:27:22.920
<v Speaker 2>If you're staying complacent, if you don't feel like you're

1:27:22.920 --> 1:27:24.640
<v Speaker 2>growing in those relationships, they're not for you.

1:27:25.680 --> 1:27:28.960
<v Speaker 1>I agree. I think this is a good time to

1:27:29.800 --> 1:27:32.479
<v Speaker 1>check out what this card is. Okay, let's see. So

1:27:32.600 --> 1:27:36.280
<v Speaker 1>at the top of the episode, LaToya pulled the judgment card.

1:27:36.360 --> 1:27:43.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh boy, and here we go, here we go, and

1:27:44.760 --> 1:27:48.880
<v Speaker 1>it's teot time. Baby. The judgment card. We've never pulled

1:27:48.880 --> 1:27:54.040
<v Speaker 1>this card, I don't think, but the number twenty is

1:27:54.080 --> 1:27:58.680
<v Speaker 1>on it. There are people below and then water it

1:27:58.800 --> 1:28:04.120
<v Speaker 1>looks like and likement compartments square boats. There's like square

1:28:04.200 --> 1:28:07.840
<v Speaker 1>boats and there's like a woman it seems and with

1:28:07.960 --> 1:28:10.519
<v Speaker 1>angel wings in the sky with a trumpet like you're

1:28:10.520 --> 1:28:13.000
<v Speaker 1>watching on YouTube. We'll put a picture up Shout out

1:28:13.000 --> 1:28:17.200
<v Speaker 1>to mahogany Taro by Kishira, our favorite black tarot card

1:28:18.160 --> 1:28:22.439
<v Speaker 1>tarot card deck. But this means basically, let me tell you,

1:28:22.560 --> 1:28:24.880
<v Speaker 1>because let me stop guessing right now. And I think

1:28:24.920 --> 1:28:25.679
<v Speaker 1>I have to do with emotion.

1:28:25.800 --> 1:28:34.280
<v Speaker 2>There's water involved and hmm rebirth inner calling absolution. So

1:28:35.439 --> 1:28:38.120
<v Speaker 2>the judgment card shows a naked woman, men, women and

1:28:38.240 --> 1:28:42.360
<v Speaker 2>children rising from their graves, arms outspread and looking up

1:28:42.400 --> 1:28:46.000
<v Speaker 2>in the sky above our angel Gabriel, the Messenger of God,

1:28:46.360 --> 1:28:49.599
<v Speaker 2>blows his trumpet. The people respond to his call, ready

1:28:49.640 --> 1:28:51.559
<v Speaker 2>to be judged and to find out if they will

1:28:51.560 --> 1:28:53.479
<v Speaker 2>be accepted into the heavens or not. This is the

1:28:53.520 --> 1:28:55.120
<v Speaker 2>most religious tarot card I've ever seen.

1:28:55.200 --> 1:29:04.800
<v Speaker 1>Actually, well Latoyan and broad the right. She was like, oh,

1:29:04.800 --> 1:29:06.000
<v Speaker 1>I'll never pull a no car And I was like,

1:29:06.040 --> 1:29:08.920
<v Speaker 1>come on, girl, I just pulled a car. Just just

1:29:09.000 --> 1:29:10.920
<v Speaker 1>for a disclaimer, also for you too, because I know

1:29:11.000 --> 1:29:13.720
<v Speaker 1>we talked about this. We didn't talk about this, but

1:29:13.880 --> 1:29:16.720
<v Speaker 1>we we addressed this on the trigger and I'm uh,

1:29:17.040 --> 1:29:19.000
<v Speaker 1>we said what you feel, how do you feel about

1:29:19.240 --> 1:29:23.639
<v Speaker 1>which which you shit? And I know we reference WHICHI

1:29:23.680 --> 1:29:25.639
<v Speaker 1>shit a lot on our show, but I think.

1:29:26.120 --> 1:29:28.800
<v Speaker 2>Just to clarify for people listening and for you, like

1:29:28.920 --> 1:29:31.960
<v Speaker 2>if you are God fearing, if you're religious, if you're

1:29:32.000 --> 1:29:33.919
<v Speaker 2>listening to our show and you're like, I'm a fucking.

1:29:33.720 --> 1:29:37.920
<v Speaker 1>With those witchy bitches. We when we say which, I.

1:29:37.960 --> 1:29:41.559
<v Speaker 2>Think the term I think the term has been very

1:29:41.840 --> 1:29:46.200
<v Speaker 2>negative in like our society, but for us, I think, well,

1:29:46.280 --> 1:29:49.240
<v Speaker 2>for me it's been very It's it's more about my

1:29:49.360 --> 1:29:52.799
<v Speaker 2>divine feminine and the way in which I can utilize

1:29:52.880 --> 1:29:53.960
<v Speaker 2>my magic, you know.

1:29:54.439 --> 1:29:55.479
<v Speaker 1>Alongside God.

1:29:55.680 --> 1:29:59.200
<v Speaker 2>It's like God's magic and how I've been able to

1:29:59.280 --> 1:30:02.240
<v Speaker 2>harness it and like manifest the things that i want

1:30:02.400 --> 1:30:03.640
<v Speaker 2>manifest this relationship.

1:30:03.800 --> 1:30:07.080
<v Speaker 1>And just that's when I say witchy shit. It's not

1:30:07.240 --> 1:30:07.479
<v Speaker 1>like the.

1:30:07.560 --> 1:30:12.519
<v Speaker 2>Pagan like long long nose, like evil, Like we're not

1:30:12.600 --> 1:30:15.519
<v Speaker 2>evil women but I think it's like think of Wizard

1:30:15.560 --> 1:30:16.839
<v Speaker 2>of Oz, the good Witch.

1:30:18.120 --> 1:30:21.000
<v Speaker 1>Glenda, Remember Glendad. That's what I'm thinking of. Okay, so

1:30:21.200 --> 1:30:21.960
<v Speaker 1>judgment upright.

1:30:22.040 --> 1:30:24.280
<v Speaker 2>The judgment card is calling you to rise and embrace

1:30:24.360 --> 1:30:26.880
<v Speaker 2>a higher level of consciousness for the service of your

1:30:26.960 --> 1:30:31.519
<v Speaker 2>highest good. You're experiencing a spiritual awakening and realizing that

1:30:31.640 --> 1:30:35.080
<v Speaker 2>you are destined for so much more. This is your

1:30:35.160 --> 1:30:38.120
<v Speaker 2>cosmic up leveling. You hear the call and you are

1:30:38.200 --> 1:30:41.519
<v Speaker 2>ready to act. Tune into a higher frequency. Let go

1:30:41.640 --> 1:30:44.360
<v Speaker 2>of your old self and step into the newest version of.

1:30:44.439 --> 1:30:45.880
<v Speaker 1>You, of who you really are.

1:30:47.120 --> 1:30:49.519
<v Speaker 2>The judgment card often indicates that you need to make

1:30:49.640 --> 1:30:53.200
<v Speaker 2>life changing decision, but unlike those associated with the logical

1:30:53.400 --> 1:30:57.280
<v Speaker 2>justice card, this decision requires a blend of intuition and intellect.

1:30:57.800 --> 1:31:00.639
<v Speaker 2>You may be at a crossroads where the any choice

1:31:00.680 --> 1:31:03.000
<v Speaker 2>you make will bring a significant change with the long

1:31:03.160 --> 1:31:06.719
<v Speaker 2>lasting effects. Tune into your higher self, trust your judgment,

1:31:06.840 --> 1:31:09.200
<v Speaker 2>and know you're on the right path. If you still

1:31:09.240 --> 1:31:11.600
<v Speaker 2>need clarity on the situation, look to your past and

1:31:11.680 --> 1:31:14.640
<v Speaker 2>life lessons to guide you. And I feel like we

1:31:14.760 --> 1:31:17.320
<v Speaker 2>talked about this. I feel like we talked about women

1:31:17.360 --> 1:31:20.000
<v Speaker 2>who are unhappy and they're like, I'm.

1:31:19.880 --> 1:31:22.320
<v Speaker 1>Not so unhappy, but I've been married ten years or whatever,

1:31:22.640 --> 1:31:25.639
<v Speaker 1>and then they stay. But I think it's about your intuition.

1:31:25.880 --> 1:31:29.839
<v Speaker 2>I think I think we separate our intuition from religion

1:31:30.600 --> 1:31:34.080
<v Speaker 2>and from like the God. You know, this very strict,

1:31:34.160 --> 1:31:36.680
<v Speaker 2>rigid form of what God looks like. But I think

1:31:36.720 --> 1:31:39.400
<v Speaker 2>that removes us from God, the image of God in

1:31:39.479 --> 1:31:41.719
<v Speaker 2>which we were made of, and he kind of instills

1:31:41.800 --> 1:31:43.680
<v Speaker 2>that in us, that intuition, so we're like, oh no,

1:31:43.800 --> 1:31:46.960
<v Speaker 2>that's not for me, and in all things, we need

1:31:47.040 --> 1:31:49.839
<v Speaker 2>to lead with that, you know. I think that's a part.

1:31:50.120 --> 1:31:52.439
<v Speaker 1>Of this pool, and I think that's our I think

1:31:52.479 --> 1:31:54.840
<v Speaker 1>the lot of that is our superpower. As women. We

1:31:55.560 --> 1:31:57.880
<v Speaker 1>got that intuition on luck, and not to say men don't,

1:31:57.920 --> 1:32:01.880
<v Speaker 1>but we really got it. Amen, you really got that ship.

1:32:02.080 --> 1:32:06.160
<v Speaker 1>I would have to agree. I would have to agree. Wells,

1:32:06.520 --> 1:32:09.519
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for joining us. This is a

1:32:09.640 --> 1:32:12.519
<v Speaker 1>fun guy. I'm so grateful for you coming out here.

1:32:12.640 --> 1:32:14.840
<v Speaker 1>I know that you left Mexico a day early, but

1:32:16.360 --> 1:32:18.760
<v Speaker 1>oh my god, her friends are going to kick our ass.

1:32:19.479 --> 1:32:22.720
<v Speaker 1>Would you take our friend? I mean I have to

1:32:22.760 --> 1:32:26.880
<v Speaker 1>go back. Yes, we'll come with you. Okay, are sent

1:32:26.960 --> 1:32:28.479
<v Speaker 1>a resort to somebody, it's like, where'd you find that?

1:32:28.600 --> 1:32:33.120
<v Speaker 1>I was like, don't worry about my friend, just make

1:32:33.160 --> 1:32:36.120
<v Speaker 1>it happen exactly. Yeah. No, we had an amazing time,

1:32:36.160 --> 1:32:38.080
<v Speaker 1>but it was worth it. It was worth it, and

1:32:38.160 --> 1:32:39.680
<v Speaker 1>I actually did get to come in and just have

1:32:39.760 --> 1:32:45.080
<v Speaker 1>a day to like get still. And so it worked

1:32:45.080 --> 1:32:46.880
<v Speaker 1>out and that's so important. When your mom, I'm like,

1:32:47.040 --> 1:32:48.439
<v Speaker 1>is this like your first trip that you've been, like

1:32:48.680 --> 1:32:51.880
<v Speaker 1>like vacation trip or you are you do you take trips?

1:32:52.080 --> 1:32:54.080
<v Speaker 4>I take trips, okay, but I feel like this one

1:32:54.360 --> 1:32:57.040
<v Speaker 4>is the longest that I've I'm gonna be without them.

1:32:57.280 --> 1:32:59.600
<v Speaker 1>It's driving me absolutely. Like my mom was sending me

1:32:59.680 --> 1:33:01.120
<v Speaker 1>pictures like, oh, look at this picture.

1:33:01.120 --> 1:33:02.519
<v Speaker 3>I have it t I was like, you just sent

1:33:02.560 --> 1:33:03.360
<v Speaker 3>me into depression.

1:33:03.479 --> 1:33:06.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I just do that. Oh I did not mean

1:33:06.439 --> 1:33:08.439
<v Speaker 1>to do that. I'm like, just I don't know, more pictures.

1:33:08.479 --> 1:33:11.439
<v Speaker 4>I'll be trying not to, you know, look at pictures

1:33:11.520 --> 1:33:13.800
<v Speaker 4>and get sad because my mom's guilt to be like,

1:33:13.840 --> 1:33:14.080
<v Speaker 4>oh my.

1:33:14.080 --> 1:33:16.240
<v Speaker 1>God, I'm enjoying How dare I enjoy my life without

1:33:16.280 --> 1:33:17.200
<v Speaker 1>my kids? Right?

1:33:17.280 --> 1:33:20.320
<v Speaker 4>No, it's I mean, I'm you know, it's it's the

1:33:20.400 --> 1:33:22.720
<v Speaker 4>time where I am supposed to be alone legally. I'll

1:33:22.720 --> 1:33:27.280
<v Speaker 4>say it like that, so you know, is tough, but

1:33:27.640 --> 1:33:30.960
<v Speaker 4>it's it's, uh, what's necessary necessary.

1:33:31.120 --> 1:33:33.760
<v Speaker 1>We'll say it like that, and it's it sucks, but

1:33:34.240 --> 1:33:36.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm best. I'm making the best of it. It's it

1:33:36.800 --> 1:33:39.479
<v Speaker 1>might suck right now, but I'm gonna let you know now,

1:33:39.720 --> 1:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>like being able to drop them kids off is a

1:33:42.439 --> 1:33:47.360
<v Speaker 1>fucking blessing gift. We love the kids, we love our children,

1:33:47.479 --> 1:33:50.360
<v Speaker 1>but you know not, no shame to the married ones,

1:33:50.479 --> 1:33:52.519
<v Speaker 1>but y'all don't really get them breaks unless your husband

1:33:52.560 --> 1:33:54.320
<v Speaker 1>is really allowing you and you know them husband to

1:33:54.400 --> 1:33:56.360
<v Speaker 1>calling you every five seconds once you leave, like, where's

1:33:56.400 --> 1:33:58.280
<v Speaker 1>the toothbrush, where's the where's the how do I do this?

1:33:58.360 --> 1:33:59.880
<v Speaker 1>How do I do that? You're like, fuck, I gotta go.

1:34:00.200 --> 1:34:02.840
<v Speaker 1>Let me just go back. Don't go back, don't answer

1:34:02.920 --> 1:34:06.599
<v Speaker 1>the phone, don't look at pictures less there's an emergency

1:34:06.640 --> 1:34:08.600
<v Speaker 1>that I can physically help us, and do not call me.

1:34:08.720 --> 1:34:13.479
<v Speaker 1>There's blood call me. If not, don't call me. No

1:34:13.680 --> 1:34:17.479
<v Speaker 1>blood only blood blood, Yeah, because the nosebley doesn't count.

1:34:18.800 --> 1:34:21.160
<v Speaker 1>What can I do physically if I'm in Mexico, I

1:34:21.360 --> 1:34:25.120
<v Speaker 1>think call me after it's resolved. Don't stress me out.

1:34:25.160 --> 1:34:29.599
<v Speaker 1>I'm drinking margarita. Thank you. Where can our people find

1:34:29.680 --> 1:34:31.519
<v Speaker 1>you and check in on you? Oh?

1:34:31.600 --> 1:34:34.280
<v Speaker 3>On my I G I'm on there often at LaToya

1:34:34.360 --> 1:34:36.280
<v Speaker 3>like get l E T O I A l U

1:34:36.360 --> 1:34:37.120
<v Speaker 3>c K E T T.

1:34:38.680 --> 1:34:42.799
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's where I spend most of my time. Perfect

1:34:43.640 --> 1:34:46.120
<v Speaker 1>And you guys. If you guys are interested in joining

1:34:46.200 --> 1:34:48.680
<v Speaker 1>us in Costa Rica this summer, make sure you check

1:34:48.760 --> 1:34:51.760
<v Speaker 1>out the episode description. We have a link there you

1:34:51.840 --> 1:34:54.840
<v Speaker 1>can book a call with us if you have any questions.

1:34:55.680 --> 1:34:59.200
<v Speaker 1>Make sure you like and review this episode or just

1:34:59.240 --> 1:35:02.400
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1:35:02.439 --> 1:35:05.720
<v Speaker 1>black pot Black podcasters. We really need those reviews and

1:35:05.880 --> 1:35:10.840
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1:35:10.920 --> 1:35:14.320
<v Speaker 1>hear more bonus content secret episodes, make sure you check

1:35:14.320 --> 1:35:17.200
<v Speaker 1>out our patreon that's patreon dot com, backslash Good Mom's

1:35:17.240 --> 1:35:20.160
<v Speaker 1>Bad Choices, and check out our merch store. We have

1:35:20.240 --> 1:35:25.519
<v Speaker 1>hellicute merch. That's it, right, that's it, so take care.

1:35:25.760 --> 1:35:26.559
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much