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Speaker 2: What's up, Tribe, Welcome back to Mindful March. This week's
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Speaker 2: our girl believes so much in self love and mindfulness
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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mela and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday
Speaker 2: party people, Happy hump day, y'all.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling, my love? I'm good. My neck
Speaker 1: is kind of fucked up right now, I like I
Speaker 1: can't really turn to the last like move my whole body. Hey,
Speaker 1: I know I woke up with a a thing. Am
Speaker 1: I a crank at my neck? And you know what?
Speaker 1: I was talking to my friend the other day and
Speaker 1: she her lung collapsed while I was in New York,
Speaker 1: and I was like, how's your collapse lung? And she's like,
Speaker 1: how's your neck? I was like, bitch, are we old? No,
Speaker 1: let me let me say a conversation that we're having.
Speaker 1: My friend here, she's so she's Reila thinks on my hypochondriac,
Speaker 1: but she always has something wrong. Last week were in
Speaker 1: New York. She's like she had a little she was
Speaker 1: having a little wheezing.
Speaker 2: And then her friend's was it a little wheezing? Her
Speaker 2: friend's lung collapse and she's like, I think my lun
Speaker 2: collapse too. I'm like, Erica, relaxed.
Speaker 1: Why would I make it because you know, one friend
Speaker 1: who's lung collapse doesn't mean your lung collapse. And then
Speaker 1: I had another friend know that my friend downplays my
Speaker 1: there's something all the time. And then we have another
Speaker 1: friend something else happened. Then she's like, I think that's
Speaker 1: what I have. I'm like, bitch, you can't keep diagnosing
Speaker 1: yourself based on your friend's ailment. But then I went.
Speaker 1: Then I went and they were like, you have a
Speaker 1: sinus infection. So I did have something, okay, but it
Speaker 1: wasn't a collapse lung. Okay, but I literally can't move
Speaker 1: my neck. You think you think I'm just making it up.
Speaker 1: I know yesterday she had a Luna like massaging the
Speaker 1: shit out of her back. Lena's like, I'm a missus.
Speaker 1: Now I need you to believe moms. Okay, I do
Speaker 1: believe you, friend, But I just I do believe you.
Speaker 1: You know what I noticed? I was thinking because you were.
Speaker 1: I was on the with you, and She's like telling
Speaker 1: me about her new ailment, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't really get sick that often.
Speaker 2: I feel like I've been sick like two times in
Speaker 2: the last four years.
Speaker 1: Household cough or whatever you call it was four months
Speaker 1: straight you were coughing. That was about that. It was
Speaker 1: a household and I just because I didn't go to
Speaker 1: the doctor. That's true. That was one time in four years. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm fine to answer your question. Oh good, I have
Speaker 1: to ibuprofen, so it should be kicking in any moment.
Speaker 2: Between this, Rose and Ivy Profrien. Yeah, I'm doing good.
Speaker 2: It's been a smooth, smoothish week. We've had some ups
Speaker 2: and downs.
Speaker 1: We had a little racism prejudice incident, our first, like
Speaker 1: discrimination against us in business, not our first. I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's been.
Speaker 2: Many, but this was the most. This was the most blatant,
Speaker 2: and it was a little bit disappointing. But you know,
Speaker 2: when you're a badass bitch making money moves in a
Speaker 2: new space, then this is what happens. Men will tell
Speaker 2: you now and then you keep going. So today's the
Speaker 2: day we keep going and we stop complaining about it,
Speaker 2: because we did that for about twenty four hours, yep,
Speaker 2: and now it's over and we're moving on.
Speaker 1: We are. It's a lesson learned, for sure. It is.
Speaker 1: It is well. I want to get straight to it
Speaker 1: because we have a special guest here today and I'm
Speaker 1: some of the fucking excited I've been like telling my
Speaker 1: friends and there I'm like, bitch, oh, like I don't
Speaker 1: think you know how excited I was, And she's like
Speaker 1: me relax. I'm like, okay, fine, we have LaToya Luckett here.
Speaker 1: She is authors sanger, just boss mama, just so beautiful,
Speaker 1: just like maybe it was a mattress girl crushed. Possibly
Speaker 1: whoa wow. I swear way to make our guests uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Uncomfortable When I was eighteen, I liked you a lot
Speaker 1: more than just friends. No, it was more like it
Speaker 1: was more like twelve. But you know, the first one, LaToya,
Speaker 1: she hasn't very excited. I don't think I've ever seen
Speaker 1: her this excited for a guest. I'm like, you really
Speaker 1: do need to contest wonderful I have a special outfit on.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, why didn't you tell me we're
Speaker 1: wearing special outfit? And if you're watching YouTube, you like,
Speaker 1: this ain't that special. It's a brown jeans dress. But
Speaker 1: I just knew when I looked on her Instagram, I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, she's so fashionable. Like I
Speaker 1: can't just be out here in my sweats and ship
Speaker 1: like I gotta like really like get dressed up with
Speaker 1: this bitch. Okay, oh my gosh, So welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: What an introduction. She's like, I'm so fucking uncomfortable now, No,
Speaker 1: that was great. I was just so in tuned what
Speaker 1: you guys are talking about. I was like, tell me
Speaker 1: more about the neck exciting, what's going on? And that
Speaker 1: is just age. The racism is just America. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I know. We went to go
Speaker 1: get an office space and we were going to sign
Speaker 1: the lease, and then the guy said he looked at
Speaker 1: our Instagram and said we cursed too much, and that he.
Speaker 2: Sees me that we smoke weed and that it's not
Speaker 2: a weed friendly.
Speaker 1: It's not a smoking space. So what you already clearly
Speaker 1: saw in the fucking lease that he sent us and
Speaker 1: we signed. And then he said, and I also know
Speaker 1: that you cursed, and I don't know if that's going
Speaker 1: to be issue. And I'm like nigga, and what world
Speaker 1: to do Anyone in the other spaces hear us talk
Speaker 1: to the recording studio. It's a recording studio, okay, And
Speaker 1: there's walls. It's a recording studio. It's a sound proof walls.
Speaker 1: That's what I was going to That's exactly what I said.
Speaker 1: We're not going to smoke. That's very clear. We got
Speaker 1: that it's a recording studio. So why does it matter
Speaker 1: for Curson. We're going to be in the recording studio.
Speaker 2: What I said is we're respectable women business women and parents.
Speaker 1: Well, why would you do this anyway? He still said no,
Speaker 1: and then we proceeded to send him a nasty text
Speaker 1: message this morning, wrong I did. I said this discrimination periodic.
Speaker 3: Look, but don't be nowhere.
Speaker 1: You ain't want it and got a better life. That part.
Speaker 1: I was like, this is going this is going to
Speaker 1: be problematic in the future, and I have to whoop
Speaker 1: Alex's ass. So it's probably best that we let that
Speaker 1: one go. Yeah, we don't want that. We don't want that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, I think here's to whatever new spaces.
Speaker 1: You know what. Look, let's take it. Cheers, take cheers
Speaker 1: to accepting what is for us. And that's it, Yes,
Speaker 1: accepting what is for us, not trying to fit a
Speaker 1: circle to a square. Oh say that shit again, because
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in that square. Okay. I
Speaker 1: want to stay in the circle, and.
Speaker 2: I want to be in a space where it fits.
Speaker 2: I fit good and cozy and snug and just right.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be forcing it and be like
Speaker 2: poked a little bit.
Speaker 1: And okay, I want to smoke in my goddamn studio
Speaker 1: that you know. I was going to compromise, but I'm
Speaker 1: trying to just do what I gotta do, okay, And
Speaker 1: smoking is part of my self care and the brand.
Speaker 1: So God said, girl, it ain't gonna work. You can't
Speaker 1: smoke it. We're not. I'm not gonna make this happen
Speaker 1: for you. God said, we need a can a friendly studio.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Speaking of strong affirmation, strong statements, do you have any
Speaker 2: affirmations for us today?
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 4: Okay, let me see you check your check your record.
Speaker 1: Here's one.
Speaker 4: So no, I keep all my affirmations like, oh, my
Speaker 4: bathroom when mirror, it's gotten to the point where it's
Speaker 4: so covered I can't even see myself anymore. But it's
Speaker 4: like the place that I go, of course every morning,
Speaker 4: and I do that before I do anything and say them.
Speaker 4: So here's like one from my mirror, my affirmation mirror.
Speaker 4: I am a divine light chosen and appointed by God.
Speaker 4: I am who God created me. I am who God
Speaker 4: created me to be without compromise.
Speaker 1: Oh, I am a divine light chosen What I am
Speaker 1: a divine light chosen and appointed by God. I'm a
Speaker 1: divine light chosen and appointed by God.
Speaker 3: I am who God created me to be.
Speaker 1: I am who God created me to be without compromise
Speaker 1: without compromise, that last line, Now, that last line, compromise.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think people forget that, you know, showing up
Speaker 2: as yourself is an act of God. I think people
Speaker 2: fight that because they pretend to be something else, or
Speaker 2: I think they're supposed to be something else based on people,
Speaker 2: And you forget that you came as you are, and
Speaker 2: if God didn't expect you to be this way, you
Speaker 2: wouldn't be this way. And it's in your best interest
Speaker 2: to be all of you and not to you know,
Speaker 2: shrink or fit into other spaces to appease people, because
Speaker 2: people didn't create you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they did not, and they will try to
Speaker 1: hold you hostage to who you were and all these things.
Speaker 1: And you are the designer of your life. And you
Speaker 1: can decide if you yesterday you like chicken and today
Speaker 1: you don't, that's fine. Oh wow, that's specific. People always
Speaker 1: want to to my eating habits, and I'm there to
Speaker 1: say I'm allowed to change.
Speaker 2: I just want to say, if you would stop bashing
Speaker 2: other people's eating habits, then maybe people wouldn't be so
Speaker 2: weird about old.
Speaker 1: Maybe bashing yours if you'd leave mine alone. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: whoa ring here? Not like it. We love each other.
Speaker 1: We love it. Y'all sound like me, Aferia.
Speaker 2: People are probably so happy we're doing any type of
Speaker 2: cursing each other out any other time.
Speaker 1: You're like, I love you so much.
Speaker 2: Me and Erica, we love each other so much. Let
Speaker 2: me tell you how much I love you. This week
Speaker 2: I discovered I'd loved Erica even more than last week
Speaker 2: because you know what she said. So I'm like, we
Speaker 2: are such lesbians without the lesbian. But I'm so grateful.
Speaker 2: I really am grateful for Like, as I get older,
Speaker 2: I've always had close friends, but like really grateful for
Speaker 2: the outlet to have a friend that I really do
Speaker 2: love this much. We went to we went to go
Speaker 2: eat dinner.
Speaker 1: The other night, I was telling somebody and I was like,
Speaker 1: me and eric As sat in the car before we
Speaker 1: got to dinner and cried and told each other how
Speaker 1: much we love each other and our deep insecurities and fears,
Speaker 1: and then we told each other we're never leaving each other.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need a relationship. I have my bitch.
Speaker 1: She hates part. She holds all my insecurities and she
Speaker 1: tells me it's okay. I mean, I do need a nigga.
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, you don't need I
Speaker 1: don't need one. I want one. But I'm okay because
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 2: Really supportive, loving friendships and I'm grateful that's us.
Speaker 4: You know what, Can we talk about that for a
Speaker 4: little bit because I'm at a place where, you know,
Speaker 4: of course I do desire a relationship. And when you
Speaker 4: come out of you know, a marriage and you're divorced
Speaker 4: and everything, you're like, okay, wait, coming out of this,
Speaker 4: of course I need my space.
Speaker 1: And everybody's like, you need time alone always. You need
Speaker 1: to gather yourself and you know, get to know you.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, mich I know forty.
Speaker 1: One years, I know me. I can't I know me?
Speaker 3: Okay, and then I'm.
Speaker 1: Forever changing so I can't keep up. But you know what.
Speaker 4: I'm saying, like, I you don't want to feel like
Speaker 4: you need someone, but you do desire someone. And it's
Speaker 4: I think healthy to want to love again and healthy
Speaker 4: to want to be in a relationship again.
Speaker 3: It's just like when is that?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: And then they're like, well, don't do it until you
Speaker 4: have some therapy, right feel and you know, collect yourself.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, whitch I am collect looking at the
Speaker 1: mare and talk to yourself alone?
Speaker 3: Right, And I'm like, who was to be alone?
Speaker 1: Sometimes?
Speaker 2: Like the relationship you just gotta makes it real clear
Speaker 2: what you need to not get into again. And I'm like, actually,
Speaker 2: haven't really prepared that relationship really prepared me for the
Speaker 2: next one.
Speaker 4: That's the therapy when right, I'm like, when is the
Speaker 4: right time to start again?
Speaker 3: Because I feel like I'm rich, you.
Speaker 1: Know what I mean? Like, I feel how long has
Speaker 1: it been? Well? Tell us, like how long has it been?
Speaker 1: Like what it has your love journey been? Yeah?
Speaker 2: First of all, let me say nobody can tell you
Speaker 2: when the fuck you're ready.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like who makes these time limits?
Speaker 1: Who makes these rules? It's like there it is. It's
Speaker 1: show true what you say though, Like people in society
Speaker 1: have these like time limits that you must do certain
Speaker 1: things before you can enter in the next phase of
Speaker 1: your life. Yep, And it's like why who made these up?
Speaker 1: It's coming up?
Speaker 3: Who's the odds behind me?
Speaker 1: My soulmate, my walk through the door right after this
Speaker 1: nigga leave, So I'm supposed to pass him up and
Speaker 1: do that because society said I need to wait six months.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and they make the face too, even if they
Speaker 4: don't say it's like.
Speaker 1: Oh, so, whend you guys start dating like oh six
Speaker 1: months ago and you're like, oh yes, it's like almost
Speaker 1: you don't want to tell people when yeah, like, how long?
Speaker 1: Two months? I don't care. I'm the bitch. Don't you
Speaker 1: say shit about my two month love? Okay, I'm in love.
Speaker 1: You shut the fuck up. But yeah, you're pisces right.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's the water sign. It's the water
Speaker 1: sign trinity.
Speaker 4: Here, we're all here love and shit, wait are we
Speaker 4: all we're all on a scorpio.
Speaker 1: Oh well still I'm a cancer. Yeah, yeah, we're here.
Speaker 1: We're here strong to say that we do need love.
Speaker 1: We're independent women, but we do love. I've been really
Speaker 1: conscious of not. First of all, we have this like
Speaker 1: women Empowerment podcast, and I think that men feel like
Speaker 1: they're not Like, I'm very clear not to make men
Speaker 1: feel like they're not needed. I do need, we do
Speaker 1: need and want men, and I do like, I'm very
Speaker 1: grateful for the divine masculine in my life and I
Speaker 1: welcome it.
Speaker 2: But if it ain't the right one, you can fucking go.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of strong women around me, but
Speaker 2: like I I, we.
Speaker 1: Could use more. We need you to get healed.
Speaker 2: If you guys are listening, men, please starting to please
Speaker 2: and go to please.
Speaker 1: You're not above it. We all did it. We all
Speaker 1: are doing the work. We all need to catch up.
Speaker 1: We all do.
Speaker 2: Black men specifically, Please, we are doing the work. We
Speaker 2: are begging you to do the work so we don't
Speaker 2: all become lesbians.
Speaker 1: I beg of you, God, but we don't want to
Speaker 1: end up a of small colony together. Want you. My
Speaker 1: feminism does not mean that you are not important. Okay
Speaker 1: so important, and I think that's where your little piece
Speaker 1: when you're an empowered woman. I feel like, especially in
Speaker 1: this time, like I feel like men feel like that
Speaker 1: they're like excluded from the conversation, excluded, they don't are
Speaker 1: not needed. And granted I have said nigaz ain't shit
Speaker 1: a lot, and I have also said that we can
Speaker 1: just take your sperm and like, you know, handle the rest. However,
Speaker 1: I'm here to say that I rescind those comments. Hear you,
Speaker 1: hear you. I'm growing, guys, I'm growing, I do. I
Speaker 1: think I said this on some other podcasts recently, but
Speaker 1: I really like we need you, I love you, I
Speaker 1: want you, but go to therapy and if those that
Speaker 1: have already are in it, call me, call me. Okay.
Speaker 2: So that's like, how do you know when you're ready
Speaker 2: to move on from a long term relationship or a marriage?
Speaker 1: How did you know? Yeah? I think that because you've
Speaker 1: been you've been married twice. Yes, Okay, so I.
Speaker 4: Must I must say, I'm going to say, and I'm
Speaker 4: not I'm not saying at all that like.
Speaker 3: Time matters as far as the.
Speaker 4: Length of like my first marriage, because it was very real,
Speaker 4: but I feel like, of course with my second marriage,
Speaker 4: we had children, We did a lot in a very
Speaker 4: long time, I mean very short amount of time. And
Speaker 4: I think when you get how do I answer this
Speaker 4: question without answering this question.
Speaker 1: If you will question, I'm answering. I know, I am,
Speaker 1: I am. I'm gonna. I'm gonna really put some thought
Speaker 1: into this.
Speaker 4: But I feel like, you know, just like you know
Speaker 4: when you're they're the one, right, I feel like you
Speaker 4: you go. Okay, wait a minute, my gut is telling
Speaker 4: me I feel peace with whatever the decision is, and
Speaker 4: and I'm going to allow God to lead and trust
Speaker 4: my gut and when you know a shift happens, then
Speaker 4: you have to trust what that shift is and and
Speaker 4: move accordingly and trust that everything is going to be okay.
Speaker 4: And I think that that's what I found strength in
Speaker 4: trusting myself. I found strength.
Speaker 1: Is so difficult.
Speaker 4: It is so difficult at times, but I definitely I
Speaker 4: tapped into something different and I knew that, you know,
Speaker 4: this wasn't a decision that was going to be made
Speaker 4: for just me. But I have little ones, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean, which makes a decision like that even
Speaker 4: even tougher.
Speaker 1: But I think to go to just trust yourself, trust yourself.
Speaker 4: I have so many girlfriends or women that I talked
Speaker 4: to and they're like, girl, I don't no like I'm married,
Speaker 4: and I love that I'm married, but I'm not happy
Speaker 4: in my marriage and what should I do? And my
Speaker 4: parents have been married for like thirty five forty five
Speaker 4: years and I want that same thing, but my marriage
Speaker 4: don't feel like they marriage. And I'm getting abused or
Speaker 4: this and this, and I'm like, you know, if you
Speaker 4: know if you are in an abusive situation, then by
Speaker 4: all means really And someone had to tell me.
Speaker 1: One of my sisters in.
Speaker 4: Christ had to tell me, like when we get up
Speaker 4: there and we say those vowels, you know, and we're
Speaker 4: you know, that covenant is made. It's a real thing.
Speaker 4: So when someone breaks the covenant and abuse is that
Speaker 4: in all its forms, then.
Speaker 3: You know, the covenants broken, sweetheart, the contract is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that we narrow it down to, oh,
Speaker 4: if they commit adultery or if they do this one
Speaker 4: thing or whatever. It's like, no, we got to look
Speaker 4: into And I'm not speaking specifically on my situation. I'm
Speaker 4: speaking about even you know, conversations that I've had with
Speaker 4: you know, women who are going with.
Speaker 3: You know, going through a divorce.
Speaker 4: Like if you're finding yourself in a situation where we're
Speaker 4: looking at this covenant thing or we're looking at these
Speaker 4: vals we you know, we took and it's not lining up,
Speaker 4: then we got to ask ourselves some real serious questions.
Speaker 1: We got a message from someone today about basically like
Speaker 1: abuse doesn't look like physical all the time. And I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people are like, well, my marriage
Speaker 1: is fine, my relationship is fine, Like he's not like
Speaker 1: beating me, you know, And it's like, girl, that there's
Speaker 1: so many different forms of abuse.
Speaker 2: And in fact, it's scary because like verbal and like
Speaker 2: mental abuse is so it gradually builds up in a
Speaker 2: way that you become used to it. And so it's
Speaker 2: even more important that you check in with yourself because
Speaker 2: that's the type of abuse. Like it's one thing, someone
Speaker 2: hits you upside the fucking hand, you're like, oh shit, nigga, wow,
Speaker 2: that's a hit, you know, and even then, but just
Speaker 2: be being bitchous, will be like, oh well, it's not
Speaker 2: like I'm not like in a lifetime movie.
Speaker 1: But like you have to really be clear.
Speaker 2: And not only that, like abuse is a huge thing,
Speaker 2: but also just like I think honoring yourself if you
Speaker 2: grow out of something.
Speaker 1: Right doesn't and yeah it doesn't have to be that,
Speaker 1: but if it doesn't feel good to you, and you've
Speaker 1: tried this and you've tried that, and I know, for
Speaker 1: me and like for most women, you've sat with that
Speaker 1: feeling for a minute, you've digested, you've thought about it,
Speaker 1: you're like, damn, this doesn't feel good, this doesn't look good.
Speaker 2: I don't like how this feels. And then you stay
Speaker 2: because that's what women do because we're trying to honor our,
Speaker 2: you know, the family, the children, the standard we put
Speaker 2: in a lot of work and trying to make things
Speaker 2: happen a lot of times, and sometimes your growth is
Speaker 2: all the time. If your growth is not being honored
Speaker 2: in that relationship, it's time to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think we give our lot. I think
Speaker 1: specifically as black women dating black men, we give met
Speaker 1: black men a lot of grace when it comes to
Speaker 1: shortcomings and being patient, and they would not give us
Speaker 1: that grace. I still love you black men, I promise,
Speaker 1: but y'all wouldn't like you wouldn't if I cheated on
Speaker 1: my my man, like it would be over period. But
Speaker 1: women will We are a little bit more. I mean,
Speaker 1: granted there are some men that day, but I would say,
Speaker 1: you know, the typical situation would be like you be
Speaker 1: out you know you're a hoe? Now, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's such a typical man statement.
Speaker 4: No, I think it's generational too, because I've learned in
Speaker 4: certain relationships that I've been and even you know, with
Speaker 4: having a brother, like if you aren't doing what they
Speaker 4: saw their mama, do you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 4: we have grace with their development or you know, their
Speaker 4: shortcomings and all these different things.
Speaker 3: But I feel like sometimes they'll.
Speaker 4: Look at us and go, well, shoot, I watched my
Speaker 4: mama have three jobs and come home and cook and.
Speaker 1: Clean and do this.
Speaker 4: And it's a thing of if you're not meeting that standard,
Speaker 4: you know, you know, as black mothers, we are, I
Speaker 4: feel like raising the ball and sometimes like creating these
Speaker 4: oh god, like they think we're superheroes because we do
Speaker 4: stretch ourselves so much, and our sons watch that, and
Speaker 4: then whoever, you know, they start to date or they
Speaker 4: you know, want to marry or whatever, they have those
Speaker 4: same expectations of that young lady. And then if she doesn't,
Speaker 4: you know, if she isn't doing what she what he
Speaker 4: saw us do, then she's not enough.
Speaker 1: That's not fair.
Speaker 3: I don't think that that's fair.
Speaker 1: You know, it's absolutely not fair. And also because I've
Speaker 1: had this conversation with a man actually when you're saying this,
Speaker 1: had made me think of one specific person that I
Speaker 1: used to date, and he would talk about his mother
Speaker 1: a lot with me and how amazing she was and
Speaker 1: just this incredible force and like da da da da da,
Speaker 1: which is great. I love that that he revered on
Speaker 1: her mother. So yeah, but I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of times these men or these boys, they don't know
Speaker 1: what the fuck their mama was doing. On the week
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Van Layson posted something recently, what type
Speaker 1: of shit their mom showed them, what she wanted to
Speaker 1: show them, And a lot of times, as black mothers,
Speaker 1: we don't show our kids the real We don't want to.
Speaker 1: We don't want them to see us struggle. We don't
Speaker 1: want them to us. We don't want them to see
Speaker 1: us in pain. And I honestly I understand protecting your kids,
Speaker 1: but I think we do them. We do these boys
Speaker 1: such a disservice because they have these unrealistic expectations of
Speaker 1: what their partners supposed to show up, like knowing goddamn well,
Speaker 1: and their mom knowing goddamn well they were struggling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they were struggling, if not more than you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: And which is why they had to protect and why
Speaker 1: they had to show up this way.
Speaker 4: I don't think even when I was a kid, I
Speaker 4: don't remember seeing my mom struggle with you know, dear divorce,
Speaker 4: the divorce between.
Speaker 1: My mom and dad. And I now that I think back,
Speaker 1: I'm like, did I ever even see her cry? Like
Speaker 1: I All I do remember her doing is making sure
Speaker 1: you know, we stayed in private school.
Speaker 3: She would go off to work.
Speaker 4: She would work some weekend jobs as well, take us
Speaker 4: to work with her. House was always clean, our you know,
Speaker 4: we always had nice things, all these different things. And
Speaker 4: she really did come off like a superhero. And now
Speaker 4: that you know, we're old and I'm old enough to
Speaker 4: have those kind of conversations with her and then going
Speaker 4: through my situation, you know, in talking to her, she
Speaker 4: made it look easy, but she struggled just as much
Speaker 4: as I did, you know what I mean, And that
Speaker 4: as I am, because I'm currently going through it, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, I wonder why am I didn't let me
Speaker 4: see this side then, you know, And I think if
Speaker 4: I would, I think that there are strength and power
Speaker 4: in me seeing that in her. You know, if I
Speaker 4: would have seen her her weak moments, then when I
Speaker 4: was having mind going through my divorce, it would have
Speaker 4: been like.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's okay to feel that way.
Speaker 3: I don't always have to be all.
Speaker 1: Right, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: And so we've had conversations about it since. But she
Speaker 4: was very very quiet about She was one of the
Speaker 4: moms that was very quiet and put on the cape,
Speaker 4: and you know, she she felt like she was protecting
Speaker 4: us from the pain that she was going through.
Speaker 1: But that's that's that's how most moms are.
Speaker 2: You know that, that's really how you know that, that's
Speaker 2: that's the like the image that we're given that you
Speaker 2: do have to be a superhero, that you can't let
Speaker 2: your kids see you cry, that you have to have
Speaker 2: everything taken care of. And for most of us, I think,
Speaker 2: especially for black women, that's what we've seen our parents do.
Speaker 1: But like you said, it's not realistic. And then you're
Speaker 1: moving through life like what the fuck You're like, I'm
Speaker 1: fucking up, Like I'm weak, Like my mom didn't do this?
Speaker 1: Why do I do that? Why am I so like
Speaker 1: tore up over this? Why am I so tore up?
Speaker 1: Why can't I get over this? Man? You know? And
Speaker 1: it's it's it's really I think important for you. You
Speaker 1: have a you have a daughter and a son. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's really important for like I want to
Speaker 1: say even more so, it's no, it's equally sons really
Speaker 1: need to see the essence of a woman and their
Speaker 1: mother and all the different dimensions of what that means.
Speaker 1: They really do. If we want to prepare and I
Speaker 1: don't have a sign. But if I ever did, like
Speaker 1: preparing him for like the woman that might show up
Speaker 1: in his life and having discernment and having empathy, Oh baby,
Speaker 1: empathy is big.
Speaker 3: Can we make T shirts?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: Because and I'm by the way, I'm just learning about
Speaker 4: like narcissism and all that whole gray and that is
Speaker 4: like the one thing that a narcissist doesn't have empathy.
Speaker 1: And I did not know that people in the world.
Speaker 3: Of course I knew there were bad people out there, right, but.
Speaker 4: I kind of felt like everybody had a little empathy, seriously,
Speaker 4: but narcissists have like none, is what I'm learning, right,
Speaker 4: And so I guess me thinking the whole like with
Speaker 4: a car, you know, you buy a car and there's
Speaker 4: like the standard package and there's like the gold package.
Speaker 4: I thought that that, like empathy came with the standard package.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's big.
Speaker 4: It's not the rolldown when like it's still electric windows,
Speaker 4: but there's empathy there, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 4: I just felt that that was there, and that's not
Speaker 4: like you have to actually purchase that extra you have
Speaker 4: to make sure that's on the list on the line sheet, right,
Speaker 4: and it's yeah, you got But when do you find
Speaker 4: that out though, right, because all right, say, if we're
Speaker 4: dealing with the narcissist, right, narcissists know how to cover
Speaker 4: up their narcissism until the time it's time to pounds.
Speaker 4: And it's a thing of Okay, do you date the
Speaker 4: person six months, do you date them a year, do
Speaker 4: you date them two years? And then when does their
Speaker 4: narcissism get sick of hiding itself and then show up.
Speaker 2: I think that there are signs, and I feel like
Speaker 2: narcissis could only hide for so long. You can only
Speaker 2: be so calculated. I feel like if you're paying attention,
Speaker 2: there are going to be other things outside of just
Speaker 2: the lack of empathy that are going to like have signs,
Speaker 2: especially if you've dealt with the narcisst before or maybe
Speaker 2: listen to our episode how to Spot a narcissist. But
Speaker 2: it's necessary because they're tricky.
Speaker 1: It's almost like a con artist. It is a con art.
Speaker 2: It's like one step up from a sociopath. So you
Speaker 2: really got to be careful because sociopaths don't have any empathy.
Speaker 2: But you really I kind of I think I'm not
Speaker 2: the type of person.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 2: Fucking cancer over here, who's like moving in precaution, Like
Speaker 2: I don't trust anyone that's not my m I do
Speaker 2: feel like God gives you your instinct and your intuition
Speaker 2: and you kind of know. But like if I feel
Speaker 2: like something's not right, I usually will I'll let that
Speaker 2: I'm examining it. You know, I'm gonna be kind and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be trustworthy, but I'm gonna constantly be examining
Speaker 2: it and be like, hmm, that don't make that makes
Speaker 2: a lot of sense that you did that.
Speaker 1: I don't like that that. I don't mean that'll add up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I think a lot of times with this
Speaker 1: narcissist and the empathy conversation, I feel like they do
Speaker 1: cover it up or they show you so much empathy
Speaker 1: in the beginning that you do you assume that they
Speaker 1: extend that to everyone else or always or always and
Speaker 1: that it's always going to be this way, and then
Speaker 1: you see how I mean one of the ways that
Speaker 1: actually Megan Doherty, she was narcissist expert we had on
Speaker 1: she talks about just uh, death by a thousand cuts.
Speaker 1: So it's like they just do these little cuts where
Speaker 1: you like and then suddenly you're fucking bleeding, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on? Like they're just little ones,
Speaker 1: and then the love bombing, like the gifts and the
Speaker 1: adoration just like you are amazing, Queen High High High,
Speaker 1: and that's supporting, so supportive, supportive, supportive, Kanye West supportive.
Speaker 1: And then suddenly you're like, fuck.
Speaker 2: You, what the fuck just happened? I thought you loved
Speaker 2: me and you loved me so much last week.
Speaker 1: What. Yeah, it's it's really it's scary. It can be
Speaker 1: a really scary place, and unfortunately, I think that there
Speaker 1: are a lot more narcissisms, more narcissists in the world
Speaker 1: than not, and honestly, I feel like the Internet is
Speaker 1: making them. I think you're I think you could be
Speaker 1: born one, but I think you can also like the
Speaker 1: environment in which the world where we're at, in the
Speaker 1: world where everyone is so self centered and cares so
Speaker 1: much about just themselves and not in a healthy way,
Speaker 1: is birthing narcissists left and right. Yeah, So it can
Speaker 1: be scary.
Speaker 2: Because because you're newly single and kind of newly divorced,
Speaker 2: and you know, you're just trying to out trying to
Speaker 2: figure it out. Would you are you willing to say
Speaker 2: you would probably get married again or no.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Okay, I'm a wife. Okay, okay, I heard that, baby. Same.
Speaker 4: You's gotta find the right not to be fine, but
Speaker 4: the right one will find right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree the same that you know, Like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm not usually I'm not very worried, even though in
Speaker 1: like this space, me and Eric are always like we
Speaker 1: talk a lot. We're talking a lot of explicit content.
Speaker 1: You know, are we gonna find husbands? Is that we're
Speaker 1: gonna wipe vest? What the fuck are we gonna be
Speaker 1: a wife? Mes? So we can't even get a studio space?
Speaker 1: Were going a husband? Wait till our husband sees these clips,
Speaker 1: we get a divorce. But I feel very I do.
Speaker 2: I feel strongly that what's for me is for me,
Speaker 2: and like who's supposed to love me and accept me
Speaker 2: will come, and that when they come and present themselves,
Speaker 2: I'm going to know it's them.
Speaker 1: God's going to be like, bitch here he is.
Speaker 2: Finally not the narcissist, right guy, because that one I
Speaker 2: thought was my nigga, But this one, okay, you know,
Speaker 2: I feel like all the practice I do feel I
Speaker 2: trust that all of the practice niggas that I've had
Speaker 2: have prepared me for my husband that is on his wife.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are your five? I would I wanted to
Speaker 1: ask you because you are single and maybe date. Are
Speaker 1: you dating? I don't know. It's hard in la Like no,
Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, it's crazy, like have you
Speaker 1: ever joined a dating app? Thing you would do? How
Speaker 1: can I d y R RAYA is like the dating app,
Speaker 1: it's like the Soho House of dating apps, but it's
Speaker 1: it's it's not great. Yeah, it's people in the entertainment.
Speaker 1: It's why if that's what you're looking for? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: no entertaining? You did a regular, regular guy just at
Speaker 1: the regular job or do you have I don't like
Speaker 1: that word regular. Yeah okay, well what do you want
Speaker 1: me to say? I'm not celebrity, non celebrity man, non industry.
Speaker 4: I obviously have no problem with dating or marrying people
Speaker 4: that are not in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 1: And obviously it doesn't protect shit, so I mean, it
Speaker 1: doesn't guarantee anything.
Speaker 3: Have both.
Speaker 1: Just like me, I thought if I dated slightly out
Speaker 1: attractive men that they would never like, it would just
Speaker 1: be good, Like we'd be good forever like that. That
Speaker 1: doesn't work either, because then you got me and then
Speaker 1: you're feeling yourself. So no, no, yeah, no. Have most
Speaker 1: of the men you've dated been in the entertainment industry? No,
Speaker 1: I've had some.
Speaker 4: I mean and and here's the other part of that, right,
Speaker 4: So if we're looking at a list, here, look at
Speaker 4: the numbers, right, right, So okay, here's the fun part
Speaker 4: about you know, yes, starting in the industry very very young,
Speaker 4: and it's almost like high school, right, or if I
Speaker 4: was a person that wasn't in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 1: Right, you go to school, high school, college, the whole thing.
Speaker 4: You have your community, you go to church. Right, So
Speaker 4: normally you're going to meet someone within that pool.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: If I'm in the entertainment industry, started touring at twelve
Speaker 4: or not twelve, fourteen, sixteen, and that's what I've been
Speaker 4: doing a majority of my life, then I'm going to
Speaker 4: date within that pool. So what happens is when you
Speaker 4: go and meet someone who isn't in the industry, and
Speaker 4: you might you know, they asked, oh, who have you
Speaker 4: dated or whatever, which is like, now, then I'm thinking,
Speaker 4: God of a strange question. And then it might be
Speaker 4: his favorite sports something and it might be a few
Speaker 4: of them, or there's a singer or a rapper in
Speaker 4: there or something there.
Speaker 3: Then it's like, dang, you.
Speaker 4: Done dated a lot of industry, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 4: in the industry.
Speaker 1: How many college girlfriends did you have?
Speaker 3: How many high school girlfriends did you have?
Speaker 4: That was my high school? Tour was my high school
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Like, and a person that's
Speaker 4: not in the entertainment industry, wo view it as oh
Speaker 4: she you know, they would see it as one way
Speaker 4: when it's really like.
Speaker 1: No, brou how many how many of them?
Speaker 3: Hold you knocked down in your neighborhood church?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: This was my neighborhood.
Speaker 1: This is where I was at. And I'm sorry if
Speaker 1: you had him on your wall.
Speaker 4: Not even I'm sorry if you go to his games
Speaker 4: and you admire him or you look at his stats
Speaker 4: every week, but I'm bruh, that's my neighborhood. Like, so
Speaker 4: you have to understand that, you know, although my life
Speaker 4: was different than yours, it don't make me a whole
Speaker 4: orthing like just.
Speaker 1: Letting the way you were admiring me exactly A few
Speaker 1: niggas you a right.
Speaker 4: Period, not a few maybe or a few, doesn't matter,
Speaker 4: but whatever, Like it's in an entertainer, that's what's going
Speaker 4: to happen, right.
Speaker 2: I think it's also I imagine it's easier to date
Speaker 2: someone in their industry, like even even in podcasting, Like
Speaker 2: I talk a lot, a lot of shit. You're gonna
Speaker 2: you get it, okay, cool, you get it perfect because
Speaker 2: everyone's not comfortable with someone in the public.
Speaker 1: Eyety, Yeah, that's your community. This is a community, nigga.
Speaker 1: And if you can't, if this is your man crushed Monday,
Speaker 1: then that's not my problem. Also, Also, do I still
Speaker 1: like you if my last nigg is your man crushed Monday?
Speaker 2: Probably not. We just talked about that on my I
Speaker 2: don't need to be too easily impressed with things. That's
Speaker 2: like an LA mentality too, Like can you not fan out?
Speaker 2: Please relax, just rely, relax, relax.
Speaker 1: It be okay. Well, so you don't know if you're dating, right,
Speaker 1: like I don't.
Speaker 4: I will say this, I have not been on an
Speaker 4: actual date since I divorce.
Speaker 1: No, okay. Well, Also, I mean.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, can I just say this like it's gonna
Speaker 4: for the next one. You're just not gonna be seen
Speaker 4: in the public we mean that easy and not often
Speaker 4: so who That's what's going to probably make this process
Speaker 4: a little more difficult as far as going on an
Speaker 4: actual date is. I can't really just go on a
Speaker 4: date and be seen in freaking Houston's I know her,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, because even if it's a
Speaker 4: first date, somebody can see us, take a picture and
Speaker 4: it's like, oh they together.
Speaker 3: No, bro, Like, that's not what's going on.
Speaker 4: So I have to be super duper careful with that.
Speaker 4: It's got to be like four months on the phone.
Speaker 1: Or you could do a home date, but the home
Speaker 1: days just by the whole you might get married real quick,
Speaker 1: real fast. I'm in love, you know. The dack is confusing,
Speaker 1: So let's just yeah, step away from that. What are
Speaker 1: your like five non negotiables? Like what it now that like,
Speaker 1: you know you're single, you've probably learned some lessons. What
Speaker 1: are your what would you say you're five? People only
Speaker 1: say there's five non negotiables or you should have five
Speaker 1: non negotiables when dating? What would you say yours are
Speaker 1: five non negotiables when dating? A liar?
Speaker 3: Like, let's i'd rather.
Speaker 4: Do tell me flat out this is what's going on?
Speaker 4: Or I'm dating five of the bras, or you know
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, like I don't want to ever be married,
Speaker 4: that's never going to be a goal for me. Or
Speaker 4: I want five more kids because I'm not giving you that,
Speaker 4: or you know what I'm saying, like, don't put on
Speaker 4: the front, bro, don't lie about your life.
Speaker 3: I don't want to have to find out something different.
Speaker 1: About you later.
Speaker 4: Just be like straight up, be straight up, be real,
Speaker 4: be authentic, and that's a liar is non negotiable.
Speaker 3: Don't do that because once I find.
Speaker 4: Out your lying, we've done period. So that's one. Uh
Speaker 4: let's see the status matter. No okay, no, no, no no.
Speaker 4: I want to be even leok with my partner, with
Speaker 4: my husband. I definitely do. And that doesn't mean just
Speaker 4: status wise, that doesn't mean just financially.
Speaker 3: It means I mean, of course, in our beliefs, but.
Speaker 4: Like it, when you start raising kids together and stuff,
Speaker 4: y'all got to make sure y'all on the same page.
Speaker 4: It's far more than having the same amount of money,
Speaker 4: because that's gonna change one minute. I might have more
Speaker 4: than some might fall through and then you got more.
Speaker 4: You got to be able to go with the flow
Speaker 4: on that. So as long as, of course, if the
Speaker 4: respect is there, but as long as you guys.
Speaker 1: Are working hard and working.
Speaker 4: As a unit and on the same page, I think
Speaker 4: that that's what keeps everything.
Speaker 1: Even leoked.
Speaker 4: So you're asking a question, So no liars.
Speaker 1: No liars? Oh how did I say this? What I say?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna stop not saying that? I know I
Speaker 1: got no but I gotta, you know what, I gotta
Speaker 1: be a bunch of girlfriends. I can't do it. Like
Speaker 1: when when everybody says I've laid my lesson with that too, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: everybody ain't sis nigga, did you fuck her? Right?
Speaker 4: Let's start there. That's my favorite. And it's not always
Speaker 4: even that. It's really like she's laying.
Speaker 1: Low to until till you break up again. When women
Speaker 1: do that like men that women men are bigger. I'm
Speaker 1: like brush, she waiting on her, She wait on her
Speaker 1: turn right, let me be around her one time. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna let you know exactly, meet a dinner.
Speaker 4: If the pit of my stomach dropped. She ain't no friends,
Speaker 4: if we can't, if she's she's in.
Speaker 1: Wait, if she's giving that face, if she can't be
Speaker 1: around and what ex y'all gotta have your own hangout.
Speaker 1: If I get a fake ass energy when I meet
Speaker 1: the bitch, it's not real and she has to go period.
Speaker 1: And I respect real.
Speaker 2: Friendships and I'm not with that like bias shit like.
Speaker 2: But I can feel the energy because.
Speaker 1: We're women, we're our intuition tells.
Speaker 4: Us, so you know we do period. I'm gonna say.
Speaker 4: The other one is, I have children, So if you
Speaker 4: aren't good with kids or you don't have patience, because
Speaker 4: that's going to be another one of mine too.
Speaker 1: But like you have to I don't want to say
Speaker 1: you have to at least have a love for children,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, not that strong of love,
Speaker 1: but I need you to have a love for children,
Speaker 1: a very healthy love for children. That's what I'll say.
Speaker 4: And understand that. No, if we get married, they don't
Speaker 4: come first. It's you, you know, once you come. And
Speaker 4: I learned that, like if you said.
Speaker 1: If you get married, you'll your husband will become a
Speaker 1: priority and then the child.
Speaker 4: The biblical order, right, so I try and go by
Speaker 4: the biblical order, even though that's harder said than done,
Speaker 4: and it's I've been on the other side of that,
Speaker 4: not happening twice, and it's it does interfere a little
Speaker 4: bit because you're like when you get married, right and
Speaker 4: you become someone's wife, and then there are other things
Speaker 4: that come before you, you feel it immediately, especially when
Speaker 4: you've been waiting to.
Speaker 3: Be a wife and be first.
Speaker 4: Or you know, feel like you know, desired in that position,
Speaker 4: Like it can it can be, it can be a thing.
Speaker 1: You can be a thing. And it's harder to say
Speaker 1: as a mom with two kids, because nothing should come
Speaker 1: before your kids. Now, I don't I don't like, should
Speaker 1: you know right now? There's no should you know? Like
Speaker 1: everybody has what.
Speaker 2: Works for them, and like the Bible says this, and
Speaker 2: this may work for this, and you can believe in
Speaker 2: the Bible and then still feel this way. And like
Speaker 2: I think that people and I agree, I feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, you come first, because I don't think you
Speaker 2: can pour it from an empty cup. But I also
Speaker 2: feel like people are triggered by a woman saying that,
Speaker 2: especially as we're talking, we're all women with children who
Speaker 2: are gonna be in relationships with men that are don't
Speaker 2: come from those those children don't come from that marriage. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so I think people will assume like, damn this, you know,
Speaker 2: this woman's gonna put you know, a naked before.
Speaker 1: Her kids or whatever.
Speaker 2: But it's it's interesting because if your house ain't right,
Speaker 2: like you're not, you're not going to be happy.
Speaker 1: M hm. So I think that's there's there's truth in that.
Speaker 1: And also i'd be feeling like, if you have the
Speaker 1: right husband, am I really gonna have to choose? No,
Speaker 1: You're going to our priorities together as a family as
Speaker 1: you are going to be the same, whether these are
Speaker 1: your come from your there are your kids if we're married,
Speaker 1: A and B if they whether or not they come
Speaker 1: from this relationship specifically or biologically. I think like, I
Speaker 1: don't even think there should be have to be some
Speaker 1: hierarchy there, because we know how does make our household foundations.
Speaker 1: It's us. Are we good individually? Are we good together?
Speaker 2: Then let's pour into our kids and pour into the
Speaker 2: other things. But I feel like people are so triggered
Speaker 2: by that, and even like even women who say like
Speaker 2: my kids are first or I'm first, I think I'm
Speaker 2: first is a big trigger for men. You know, I
Speaker 2: saw some stupid shit on the internet like who gets
Speaker 2: the who gets the plate first?
Speaker 1: In the house. The kids are the man. I'm like,
Speaker 1: who makes it? This stupid ask questions, who's hungriest? I
Speaker 1: made the dinner, Nigga, y'all make the plates. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. I'm not like I done made chicken.
Speaker 1: I'm eating. I'm fucking eating. That's who's eating, right.
Speaker 2: But it's like we in our minds we have these
Speaker 2: like hierarchies of how we love and like, you know,
Speaker 2: how we disperse our love. But everyone knows, aos women,
Speaker 2: it's eternal. We'd be loving so hard and so limitlessly.
Speaker 2: There doesn't really even have to necessarily be this, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? But I do agree. I think
Speaker 2: if your relationship is not tended to you know, women know.
Speaker 1: But once the kids leave too, it's just gonna be y'all.
Speaker 1: By the way.
Speaker 4: So if you've given eighteen years to them and you
Speaker 4: lose focus on him.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be a ghost in the house, and he
Speaker 1: might have another bitch on the side by the way,
Speaker 1: because you've been paying all your attention to the ones
Speaker 1: that's gonna leave me in eighteen years and probably sometimes
Speaker 1: before then.
Speaker 3: I left the house at thirteen to go pursue my career.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? So it it makes sense.
Speaker 4: It's hard to say what it does make when it
Speaker 4: plays out, it makes sense?
Speaker 1: Is that three? That's three? Okay? Cool? Oh? If he is.
Speaker 4: Impatient with me and disrespectful, you get to cussing at
Speaker 4: me and talking crazy. If I got to pull my
Speaker 4: ignorant bitch out on you, you are not my nigga,
Speaker 4: no period.
Speaker 1: You know what, I.
Speaker 4: Didn't even know ignorant bitch was in there, Like I
Speaker 4: would feel her kind of rising up sometimes like ahe
Speaker 4: we might have to. She was doing her shoulders shimming
Speaker 4: and I was like, bitch, shuttle down, don't.
Speaker 3: Even call for that, right what who's knocking at that door?
Speaker 4: But if she got to show up, like show up,
Speaker 4: show up, and you almost lose yourself to her in
Speaker 4: a relationship and she keeps, she keeps winning up, she
Speaker 4: keeps showing up, yep, then this ain't it because that's
Speaker 4: not who I am.
Speaker 3: I'm a very grounded, peaceful, happy.
Speaker 4: Love life, joy having, hugging, being patient, just spread. I'm
Speaker 4: a fucking care beer Okay yep. So when have you
Speaker 4: seen when we do the rainbow? Like you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying ignibition should not have to show up in that,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, if you bring if you
Speaker 4: got to bring me out of that, if you really
Speaker 4: seriously have to bring me out of my peaceful space
Speaker 4: that I've worked so hard to keep and protect, then
Speaker 4: that ain't it.
Speaker 1: That ain't it? So M.
Speaker 3: Not going for that. That's that's probably number one.
Speaker 1: I agree that respect shit and you know, and it's
Speaker 1: like the car.
Speaker 4: You think it's the basic, you think it's the standard package,
Speaker 4: but that shit is not you.
Speaker 1: I'm just asking for the regular.
Speaker 2: Can we just start and push with respect, like don't
Speaker 2: curse at me, Like don't ever call me out of
Speaker 2: my name. There should be no reason that we need
Speaker 2: to communicate and there should be a like derogatory term
Speaker 2: or like aggression.
Speaker 1: Are we on the same team?
Speaker 4: Or sometimes they don't even have to cuss with it them. No,
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's just like a little belittling statement, the belittlement.
Speaker 1: You know what, it's a little bit of that passive aggressive,
Speaker 1: it's a little bit of a few things telling you
Speaker 1: it's them death by a thousand cuts.
Speaker 2: But what it really is a lot of times is
Speaker 2: like that insecurity and then another person and how that
Speaker 2: projects like sometimes insecure people will harm the people closest
Speaker 2: to them because it's most convenient.
Speaker 1: No, no, that makes it way about that sexy, I'm
Speaker 1: about it, little dick energy. We don't want any of
Speaker 1: those God, please protect us. Amen, we don't want that.
Speaker 4: Don't don't.
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Speaker 2: our episode description Happy Sexual Wellness.
Speaker 1: So you know what, I've had some big dicks that
Speaker 1: had little dick energy. Really Oh, actually me too. I
Speaker 1: won't even get to see in what size it is
Speaker 1: if you get to talk. Sometimes sometimes they present the
Speaker 1: dick and then they present the talking to you crazy
Speaker 1: because they know you're gonna be confused once you get
Speaker 1: the dick. Well, the day you confused and then they
Speaker 1: start talking to you crazy, so you're still confused and
Speaker 1: it takes a little bit of time to get out
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 4: And that's why I've learned you got to learn about
Speaker 4: the other before.
Speaker 1: You learn about fat. Yeah, then you won't be confused, true,
Speaker 1: because yes, the d can spin you out of control
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh wait, no, I'm I'm in the
Speaker 1: vortext here.
Speaker 4: And then you know, they get to talking to you
Speaker 4: crazy and you're like, oh, but the deed is good,
Speaker 4: but no, like I really want to get to know
Speaker 4: the person and see them. And someone said see them
Speaker 4: in at least twelve seasons before you make a decision.
Speaker 1: Like winter, summer, see them. You know, do you think
Speaker 1: in your dating life now would you abstain from sex before?
Speaker 1: Probably for how long, like forever?
Speaker 3: I don't know because I'm.
Speaker 1: All the seasons. I'm all the seasons. Sounds like three seasons.
Speaker 1: We're talking as a few seasons. That's like a few
Speaker 1: times around. I'm travel want to see it travel. Maybe
Speaker 1: we can just travel to the seasons like in three months,
Speaker 1: like we can go you know, we can get to somewhere,
Speaker 1: we can get winter somewhere, we can go get spring fall.
Speaker 4: You know, like they said international seasons in like twelve
Speaker 4: times before making a decision.
Speaker 1: That's a long time. But what what if what if
Speaker 1: you wait and then and then it is you see
Speaker 1: the seasons and then the sexist trash. That's important too.
Speaker 1: That's just life, that's just life. At that point, life
Speaker 1: is lifing. Life is lifing, bru. At that point, life
Speaker 1: is lifing.
Speaker 4: Okay, So what's going to be more important than like
Speaker 4: if you really meet a super duper nice guy, super attractive,
Speaker 4: loves your kids, got the breads, taking you on the vacation,
Speaker 4: like patient with you, lifts you up. I mean all
Speaker 4: these different things, like you are your best self with
Speaker 4: him with the d's trash.
Speaker 1: I would like to but he's trying, trying, Try, trying
Speaker 1: is big, Trying is big. I've had that, I've had
Speaker 1: all these things and then that some things are lacking.
Speaker 1: But for me, well it depends what you're not negotiable, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like my non negotiable is that, let there's sexual chemistry
Speaker 1: that even if the dick is not high on the
Speaker 1: like the spectrum, are you working towards it is something
Speaker 1: that you want to do? Are we talking about it? Like?
Speaker 2: Are we trying, you know, are there things like maybe
Speaker 2: you just haven't tended to your sexuality. You haven't really
Speaker 2: like poured into that part of yourself. And I need
Speaker 2: to bring you out of your cage. That's one thing.
Speaker 2: But if it's just dead and not there and you
Speaker 2: have no like I can't do anything with this area,
Speaker 2: all those things really won't count. I need that, Like
Speaker 2: that's a non negotiable for me because physical attraction and
Speaker 2: intimacy and touch and are very important to me.
Speaker 1: That kind of makes me tick.
Speaker 2: But like like we've all had a really nice guy
Speaker 2: with all the really nice things and all those things,
Speaker 2: and then like that one thing is lacking, and it's
Speaker 2: just I can't get over this thing.
Speaker 1: This is important.
Speaker 2: I want to come home to my man and be like, yep,
Speaker 2: it's time. Oh yeah, I'm home and I'm happy to
Speaker 2: see you. Just come to the door, like I gotta go, bitch,
Speaker 2: I gotta go. This looks good right now, you know,
Speaker 2: like that that, like primal attraction is important and a
Speaker 2: lot of things, like I think women downplay that a lot.
Speaker 2: Like he's so nice, George is such a nice man,
Speaker 2: and he took Katie to gymnastics, and like that's cool,
Speaker 2: but like, do you want to rip George's clothes off?
Speaker 1: You know, I need to be able to want to
Speaker 1: rip your clothes off. I want to do it.
Speaker 4: That is non negotiable for me, Like because I am
Speaker 4: a touchy, philly person, I want to be cuddled.
Speaker 1: I want to be all the things, and I want
Speaker 1: to be reciprocated. I do like I do. I want.
Speaker 3: I want to I like the public.
Speaker 1: I want yes, kiss me down like tongue, kiss me
Speaker 1: for a long period of time and hold my hand,
Speaker 1: let them know I am yours. Yes. Yes. I think
Speaker 1: men miss that a lot, Like I feel like women
Speaker 1: really need that and thrive in that, and like we
Speaker 1: need that like oh you desire me type shit, and
Speaker 1: men forget that. You know, they're just like whatever the
Speaker 1: fuck they're doing over there. I don't know what they're
Speaker 1: thinking about. But I want a man because I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do that for you.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I want to make you feel sexy and
Speaker 2: I want to make us feel you know, like I'm
Speaker 2: gonna compliment you and when you're doing it to me,
Speaker 2: I'm going to reciprocate that, like damn.
Speaker 1: Me, like this, damn me, sexy. But if you're not
Speaker 1: telling me I'm sexy, I'm gonna forget. Yeah. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm a words of affirmation type of lover, and I
Speaker 1: do need that in exchange. In ways, I don't need
Speaker 1: a lot of it. I more so need physical touch,
Speaker 1: like how I love and how I want to receive
Speaker 1: lover a little bit different. And I realized that recently
Speaker 1: when I was dating somebody like who's not a words
Speaker 1: of affirmation. He's not really a big words of affirmation person.
Speaker 1: He's not a really like he's definitely like an act
Speaker 1: of service type of lover, which is very important to
Speaker 1: me as well. But I was like, I need the
Speaker 1: affection I need. I need it and consistently called I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, I need it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I need Yeah a cancer, I need talk to me,
Speaker 4: come to me, talk to me and touch me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all day, talk and touch. That's what I'm It's
Speaker 1: a little a little boot grab. I'm cool. Oh thank you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think how many? What am I on? Three? I
Speaker 1: think that's fine? That was fine when yeah, patients one
Speaker 1: and then cuddles, talk in.
Speaker 4: Touch and I'm consistent communication like and I'm not talking
Speaker 4: about you gotta call me five times a day, but
Speaker 4: a good you know, give me some texting, give me
Speaker 4: some calling, and oh my gosh, in the beginning, this
Speaker 4: is why I said, I don't know if I'm dating.
Speaker 1: What's up with the new They don't get on the
Speaker 1: phone even to meet you, like.
Speaker 3: If they met.
Speaker 4: I've had a situation where somebody induced us, like a
Speaker 4: musual friend introduced us, and he texted me first, right,
Speaker 4: and I said, hey, you know, like I'm old school
Speaker 4: when it comes to communication, call me any time.
Speaker 3: You never got the call. I kept getting the text.
Speaker 4: Nor if you can't, if I can't even hear your voice, I.
Speaker 1: See, Well how about you don't listen? How about you
Speaker 1: don't listen? Yeah, but I told you what I need.
Speaker 1: And this is this is red flag number one because
Speaker 1: I've done this too with a man where I've told
Speaker 1: this man at least three times and after three you
Speaker 1: just are ignoring me. Really have to one or two?
Speaker 1: But I gave you three times to let you know.
Speaker 1: I don't like texting because I'm the same LaToya. I
Speaker 1: do not like the text. I don't try as fuck
Speaker 1: on text. People will tell me all the time. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: then call me or like come come over or are
Speaker 1: you taking that wrong?
Speaker 4: Well, if you would have heard me say it, then
Speaker 4: you wouldn't have taken it wrong. Like I can't really
Speaker 4: express myself through my fingers like that.
Speaker 1: I'm on my phone all day for work. I'm making
Speaker 1: captions and posts. You think I want to text you
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't want to text you. I want
Speaker 1: to hear your voice. So if that, if that's what
Speaker 1: the the ghetto dayton Pool is about, this text and things.
Speaker 4: And I don't need to be out there like I
Speaker 4: can't like and I'm not I'm not saying that I'm
Speaker 4: a needy broad as far as like, you know, needing
Speaker 4: someone to call me ten times a day and check.
Speaker 3: In and do the whole thing.
Speaker 1: Again, it's the basic standard car. He hello again. It's
Speaker 1: it's like.
Speaker 4: Everything that we thought was in the standard package is
Speaker 4: like now in the goal package of a car, Like
Speaker 4: you have to like pay super extra to get this credit.
Speaker 1: What do we do? Like, what's the payment? What's the
Speaker 1: payment plan? We already hello, we already look at us
Speaker 1: like what there is there's no plan. It's hello, it's
Speaker 1: a down payment. It's this I'm just carrious man. What
Speaker 1: is the what is the what's the upgrade? What's the upgrade?
Speaker 1: Is it a secret service? We don't know about. There's
Speaker 1: no secret service. They just need to go to therapy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but what changed Because I'm finding it in Olderman
Speaker 4: I'm finding it in forty fifty plus that they're texted
Speaker 4: more than they're talking.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I think that's how you date older guy. Wait,
Speaker 1: I call you wait. I saw this clip on the
Speaker 1: Internet and I was so annoyed. It was this man.
Speaker 1: He was he's a older man, so he's probably like
Speaker 1: I don't know how it was. He looked a little
Speaker 1: bit older, and he was like, yeah, you know. I
Speaker 1: keep telling everyone like, well, you have to you have
Speaker 1: to just get with it. Basically, ninety percent of my
Speaker 1: interactions are on Instagram. If I'm talking to a woman,
Speaker 1: yes girl. He was like, all ninety percent of my
Speaker 1: interactions are on Instagram d ms and that's the that's
Speaker 1: that's the way the world is going, and people just
Speaker 1: need to catch up. I was like, I hate you, right, ip,
Speaker 1: can you build on igre? The fact that this clip
Speaker 1: even made it to the internet. I was pissed. I
Speaker 1: was like, why are we perpetuating this dumb ass message.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of toxic masculine I don't know how
Speaker 2: you call it, fucking bullshit on the internet, like Kevin
Speaker 2: Samuels and he's like fifty and he also maybe I
Speaker 2: don't even know if he likes women, to be honest,
Speaker 2: like I've been dying to see him, so I could
Speaker 2: be like, do you even really like bitches? But that's
Speaker 2: a whole different conversation I'm not going to go into.
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, it's hard out here.
Speaker 3: I'm confused.
Speaker 1: I'm confused too, and a part of me is like,
Speaker 1: and this is no slight to.
Speaker 2: The LGBTQ plus community because I am included in that
Speaker 2: some days, But like do.
Speaker 1: You even like women? Sometimes I'm finding men and I'm like,
Speaker 1: do you even like women? Because and they might not.
Speaker 1: They might not. I think I just say that I'm
Speaker 1: cool with that too, Like, just I don't be here
Speaker 1: presenting yourself like a like a fucking eligible bachelor to
Speaker 1: my ass with a vagina, because this is not gonna work.
Speaker 1: Like I'm with you.
Speaker 2: Like I want all the honesty and I'm gonna accept it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna accept you as you are. You might not
Speaker 2: be my nigga, but like, I very much give me options.
Speaker 1: Oh you have other bitches? Who are they? Like? What
Speaker 1: are we looking at? Like? Thank you? How? Like? Are
Speaker 1: they closes? Do you see them all the time? Why
Speaker 1: do you like her? Like?
Speaker 2: Why can't she let her go? She's doing some shit
Speaker 2: that I can't do. I just want to know because
Speaker 2: I want to make the choice. But men don't give
Speaker 2: women the choice.
Speaker 4: But they're scared of the choice because like say, for instance,
Speaker 4: they love me, if you're too, if you feel.
Speaker 1: Like you tell me something that's gonna make me go, Like,
Speaker 1: all right, if there's a broad that you can't let go.
Speaker 3: Of, I'm gonna make the decision for us.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm not included in this, so right, they
Speaker 4: don't want you to make that decision, right, So they
Speaker 4: lie and it's like no, no, no, no, Like I
Speaker 4: would rather that because if now you're wasting my time
Speaker 4: and now once I find out or now once I
Speaker 4: see you know that she's not going away or whatever
Speaker 4: the case may be is, and I make a decision,
Speaker 4: you're not gonna like it, right, But bruh, at that point,
Speaker 4: you've made a decision in not letting her go.
Speaker 1: Listen, they don't want equal rights for us. They don't
Speaker 1: want to go right, They ain't got to You ain't
Speaker 1: got time. So listen, LaToya. We have a game on
Speaker 1: our show boy that I like to play with our guests. Okay,
Speaker 1: now we've already had a lot of talks and we
Speaker 1: might have covered some of these things, but I just
Speaker 1: want to play so that we can get to know
Speaker 1: you quickly. And it's just a fun game. It's fun.
Speaker 1: It's called trigger.
Speaker 3: Oh boy, go good.
Speaker 1: And basically I'm gonna say a word and you have
Speaker 1: to say you know how you feel about that, like
Speaker 1: the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it.
Speaker 1: Love necessary? Marriage again, bad habits? What are they? You
Speaker 1: want a few? Just one time? Management girl, me to
Speaker 1: lie to me about the time. Please? Could parenting? Working
Speaker 1: on it? That's all you can do? Being a single
Speaker 1: mom interesting, uh, tough at times. Spirituality necessary, religion necessary,
Speaker 1: most toxic trait yours mm hmmm mm hmm, given too
Speaker 1: much grace, monogamy, Yeah, preferred, preferred prenup.
Speaker 3: Oh for the next one.
Speaker 1: YEA favorite R and B artist right now? Oh that's
Speaker 1: such a great question. But what would they be considered?
Speaker 3: Lucky day?
Speaker 1: I know you're going to say that I like that
Speaker 1: lucky whichy ship? Mhm, witchy ship? Which witchy? Witchy? Which
Speaker 1: is witchy witchy? Spells and manifestations magic? Okay? Scared of
Speaker 1: the favorite sex position? Mm hmm. She having a visual
Speaker 1: she doesn't watched, She just watched her sex tape in
Speaker 1: her head. Oh, show on top pet peeve a liar,
Speaker 1: Destiny's child, iconic celebrity crush word. Dang Oh what is
Speaker 1: fine as candy mean? What? Yeah? It's fine girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. It's like our second time talking about him
Speaker 1: on our shows. Taste. He's tall.
Speaker 4: I think I like his smile, and he just looks
Speaker 4: like a tree, like a healthy alpha, heavy on that healthy.
Speaker 1: Therapy, necessary masturbation necessary. It gets to regret. Mmmm.
Speaker 3: That's a really good question.
Speaker 4: That's a really good question because I will say this
Speaker 4: the thing that I probably could say, I regret.
Speaker 1: So much beauty came from it, so I don't regret it.
Speaker 1: That's a hard one. So no regrets, then, no regrets, regrets,
Speaker 1: no divorce, tough, happily ever after does happen?
Speaker 4: You think, I definitely even and if it's even, if
Speaker 4: it's ending with you being happily does it have.
Speaker 1: To include somebody else? You know what I'm saying, Like, even.
Speaker 4: If it's just I see a happy A lot of
Speaker 4: happy old ass bitches run around, right, they ain't never
Speaker 4: been married and never had no kids, And it's just
Speaker 4: like what I'm looking.
Speaker 1: I'm ninety five and I look forty eight because I
Speaker 1: have to deal with none of that shit, no bullshit.
Speaker 1: I love that answer because I do think a lot
Speaker 1: of times the happily ever after is always tied to
Speaker 1: another person, and it doesn't have to and it's never
Speaker 1: tied to just yourself. No, it's gonna be happily ever
Speaker 1: after regardless. Well that's it. That's trigger.
Speaker 3: And when I say love, I meant to go back
Speaker 3: to that.
Speaker 1: I want to say always always.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, because I think I said I don't know
Speaker 4: what I said, but I think it's when you said
Speaker 4: love always.
Speaker 1: I just want to shift quickly to you know, me
Speaker 1: and Mi La have been doing good Moms for this
Speaker 1: is our fourth year. Oh congratulations, it's our fourth year.
Speaker 1: And one of the one of the things, obviously, I mean,
Speaker 1: when we started this platform, we didn't really understand the
Speaker 1: community that we were going to be a part of
Speaker 1: connecting and just also how our friendship would be so
Speaker 1: valuable to each other and I guess be a representation
Speaker 1: for other women as well, and understand how important sisterhood is,
Speaker 1: right it is? And I think you know, doing the
Speaker 1: retreats that we do. We do these retreats in Costa Rica.
Speaker 1: We actually just announced our most recent one and this summer,
Speaker 1: y'all comes to the good vibratory. We still have spaces
Speaker 1: left investing yourself. But what I've learned is that sisterhood
Speaker 1: it's something that like we have, but like it's very
Speaker 1: rare and that people, especially as we get older, it
Speaker 1: feels more daunting, Like how do I even make friends?
Speaker 1: How do I? Like, where do I start? I know that,
Speaker 1: you know, for me, And like when I was a
Speaker 1: kid watching Destiny Child, that was like the representation of
Speaker 1: like sisterhood for real. Like I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's kind of true for real, Like that's like one
Speaker 1: of the image of like sisters. Yes, Like I was like,
Speaker 1: y'all were so fucking fly and you're my favorite, I
Speaker 1: swear to god. I remember I was. I was actually
Speaker 1: in Texas because my dad's from Texas. Cey Okay, see Danks.
Speaker 1: Yeah he's from Texas. Yeah, he's from Texas, Texas. And
Speaker 1: I remember watching your first music video and I was like,
Speaker 1: I want to be LaToya. I'm LaToya. I'm gonna be LaToya.
Speaker 1: She got the she got the SaaS. I just like
Speaker 1: felt like that's me, even like I was so young,
Speaker 1: I just knew I was about to be sassy. But
Speaker 1: I know that, like you know, that journey of like
Speaker 1: going on tour and like being in this environment with
Speaker 1: your sisters and being young, and then the journey of
Speaker 1: like being adults and the journey of sisterhood is so
Speaker 1: it's it's an evolution if you let it be. I
Speaker 1: want to know, like, what is the greatest lesson you've
Speaker 1: learned from that time in your life? And what would
Speaker 1: you have told your younger self. Oh my gosh, so
Speaker 1: many lessons. I think that.
Speaker 4: What I would have told my younger self was to
Speaker 4: not lose myself even being a team player in that situation,
Speaker 4: that I still matter, you know, I still have a voice.
Speaker 4: And I think in that situation, I left out of
Speaker 4: that situation feeling like I didn't have a voice.
Speaker 1: Like I was.
Speaker 4: It was hard for me to stand on my own,
Speaker 4: and I went into that situation so confident God as.
Speaker 1: Confident I felt it, I saw it. I was so confident.
Speaker 1: But sometimes with a lot of partnerships, we lose ourselves
Speaker 1: to become one, or we feel it's gonna make us
Speaker 1: cohesive or you know, make the situation work out better, and.
Speaker 3: You get so used to blending so that you.
Speaker 4: So that you know everything is so seamless and cohesive,
Speaker 4: and you you the way you move. You can watch
Speaker 4: when people do like the couple's figure skating or the
Speaker 4: you know, it's like you're supporting the greater good you
Speaker 4: are and you have to almost lose yourself to be
Speaker 4: this one thing, you know what I mean. And so
Speaker 4: with DC, my role was like the soprano or whatever.
Speaker 4: So coming out of DC, that's the only thing that
Speaker 4: I thought I could sing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And put this label on you. You felt like labeled
Speaker 1: I did, and you.
Speaker 4: Know that I couldn't sing lead because that was someone
Speaker 4: else's role when I came in. You know, as a kid,
Speaker 4: I used to lead all the songs in church or
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I was even in like
Speaker 4: a the neighborhood girls group before I got into DC
Speaker 4: and I was singing lead.
Speaker 3: Then I did not feel like I could sing lead
Speaker 3: when I came out of DC.
Speaker 4: But that's because for so long I felt like I
Speaker 4: had sacrificed myself for the greater good, which was, you know,
Speaker 4: my role that I played in DC, and I am
Speaker 4: grateful that I was given the opportunity to play that
Speaker 4: role and sometimes First of all, I think that that's
Speaker 4: what made us so great is everyone played their role
Speaker 4: so well, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: So it worked out for the group, but I.
Speaker 1: Think individually it did something to my confidence. Especially.
Speaker 3: I mean, you were so young, I was so young.
Speaker 4: So I think that that would be the one thing
Speaker 4: that I would tell my younger self is don't lose yourself, baby.
Speaker 4: You still matter, you know, still remain confident in who
Speaker 4: God created you to be, in the gift that He
Speaker 4: gave you, and it doesn't you don't have to shrink
Speaker 4: yourself to be good at your role. And so that
Speaker 4: would be the one thing that I would tell myself.
Speaker 4: I learned so much from that situation, and gratefully we're
Speaker 4: all still really cool and love each other.
Speaker 3: I just start to kill today, and it's beautiful that after.
Speaker 1: So many years.
Speaker 3: The love is still there through everything that we've been through.
Speaker 1: People can assume that we hate each other and it
Speaker 1: didn't work out and blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: But we were friends first. I'm at being school like
Speaker 4: that was. We was in elementary school together, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. And our commonalities is what brought us together.
Speaker 4: Our bonding over music are all these different things is
Speaker 4: what brought us together.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that ever changed.
Speaker 4: It's just a shame that, like, you know, when business
Speaker 4: gets involved, things happen, and we were too young to
Speaker 4: understand the business and what was happening.
Speaker 1: Of course. Yeah, I would imagine being like fifteen sixteen,
Speaker 1: having so many adults with you know, just with so
Speaker 1: being impressionable, having altered aterior motives and just lies and
Speaker 1: not being able to know, like have discernment. Yeah, as
Speaker 1: you're still learning yourself, you're still learning your body, you're
Speaker 1: still learning so many things. You just started your period
Speaker 1: on the route. I don't know if that happened, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just imagine, yeah, but it's that's that's
Speaker 1: all real, that's all truth.
Speaker 3: But I learned you're right, I learned about sisterhood through
Speaker 3: being in DC, like.
Speaker 4: We had a bond like no other, Like we were
Speaker 4: each other's best friends, we were each other's sisters, like
Speaker 4: for real, we knew everything about one another.
Speaker 3: There was it was just so much love there.
Speaker 4: It was so much love there, and I felt like,
Speaker 4: you know, moving forward from that after that, the friendships
Speaker 4: that you know, God blessed me with. That's what I've
Speaker 4: had is true love. A real tribe of sisters who
Speaker 4: loved me with all of my flaws. Who I can
Speaker 4: call and say, I'm having a real fucked up day
Speaker 4: and it ain't make it better or tell me the
Speaker 4: truth about myself, but you fucked up.
Speaker 1: I need all that. Someone who's gonna love my kids
Speaker 1: and be there from my kids sometimes even better than
Speaker 1: I would. Someone that shows up for me I have.
Speaker 3: I have that, and I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed.
Speaker 4: And now I'm realizing that there are so many, unfortunately
Speaker 4: women that don't have that.
Speaker 1: Yes, there are, there are. It is, it's it's it's
Speaker 1: a it's I started. We started this podcast because I
Speaker 1: felt alone and we felt alone. And now that we
Speaker 1: have each other and we've built this community and like
Speaker 1: have so many friends within the good Mom's tribe. Like
Speaker 1: we get hit up all the time about like I
Speaker 1: don't have a tribe. I live here, I've relocated here,
Speaker 1: I don't have any friends here. How do I make friends?
Speaker 1: LA is hard for that it's la adulthood, you know,
Speaker 1: But a lot of times it really it does take effort,
Speaker 1: and it's an effort that like feels uncomfortable. It's an
Speaker 1: effort that feel almost like not organic. And it's hard
Speaker 1: for you to trust out here too, is it's very
Speaker 1: hard for to trust women. There's a lot of there's
Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah, it's very difficult. And you know, I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that you know, I have Jamila, but I'm also
Speaker 1: grateful that we've created this platform so that people can connect.
Speaker 1: And if you guys are listening and you feel you
Speaker 1: relate to this, please come to the retreat because we
Speaker 1: have so many women that came to our last retreat
Speaker 1: that are real friends after leaving the jungles of Costa Rica.
Speaker 1: Now you don't got to go to the jungles to
Speaker 1: make friends, right, but sometimes you got to get out
Speaker 1: of your element. You got to get out of your element,
Speaker 1: out of your way to surrender to the possibility of
Speaker 1: the unknown and trusting women is part of that. I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of us we do not trust
Speaker 1: one another. I've been there before where I've been like,
Speaker 1: I don't trust that bitch, And there are some bitches
Speaker 1: I don't trust for sure, there's some untrustworthy bitches. There's
Speaker 1: also untrustworthy men. Like it goes both ways. But I
Speaker 1: think that when we come together, and like the sisterhood
Speaker 1: comes together, it's so powerful, it's so beautiful. And like
Speaker 1: when I watched You Girl and Destiny's Child and I
Speaker 1: saw the sisterhood, I was like, Yo, I'm gonna start
Speaker 1: my own Destiny Child because I mean not anymore. I
Speaker 1: don't know I singing careers. No, it didn't happen, but
Speaker 1: but but it was inspiring. And I think, like especially
Speaker 1: teaching our daughters, our young girls, like how important it
Speaker 1: is for your female, like your female connections, those bonds
Speaker 1: and pouring into them like you would pour into your relationship,
Speaker 1: pour into your husband, pour into your girlfriends, pour into
Speaker 1: them just like you would pour into those relationships. Because
Speaker 1: it's when you do, like, it's powerful, and it's just
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I feel like we
Speaker 1: often reserve that type of love for the art intimate partners.
Speaker 1: But me and me will always talk about our platonic
Speaker 1: love and like our platonic marriage and this is.
Speaker 4: A marriage, Yeah, this is a marriage, is a partnership,
Speaker 4: it's the same thing. Yeah, I think that we have
Speaker 4: one way of looking at it sometimes and that's not.
Speaker 1: Always the best way.
Speaker 4: Like, you guys have a beautiful marriage, and when you
Speaker 4: guys decided to create this partnership, you have like a
Speaker 4: covenant with each other.
Speaker 1: And what's crazy is I feel you will remain more
Speaker 1: faithful to this relationship.
Speaker 4: Than a lot of people will in their love relationships
Speaker 4: because you know, you have that grace with each other.
Speaker 1: You see each other, you appreciate each other.
Speaker 4: I've heard the whole beginning of the segment about how
Speaker 4: you guys go on and sit in the car and talk,
Speaker 4: and we do that with our girlfriends. But this is
Speaker 4: that this is the thing that a lot of people
Speaker 4: wish they had in their relationships, their love relationship, but.
Speaker 2: This is But yeah, this has taught me a lot too,
Speaker 2: Like this, I feel like this relationship and partnership is
Speaker 2: going to like contribute to my husband, Like when he comes,
Speaker 2: I'll have like this has given me better tools to
Speaker 2: be able to be like, Okay, this made me feel insecure,
Speaker 2: like like even just talking every day, Like I mean
Speaker 2: obviously we talk every day, but like just having a
Speaker 2: platform or we talk every week, and I've become not
Speaker 2: all the way, but more comfortable with just being super
Speaker 2: transparent and honest even if it doesn't support me. One
Speaker 2: of the things we said in the car was like
Speaker 2: talking about our insecurities and our fears, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I would never say this to anybody else, but like
Speaker 2: I'm scared if or if you say this that. She's
Speaker 2: like yeah, because it's just really frowned down.
Speaker 1: On to be a hater. Well, we were talking about
Speaker 1: like what insecurities we have with one another, Like hey,
Speaker 1: like when you like this isn't a popular statement and
Speaker 1: this is honestly, this isn't insecurity, I'm gonna share like
Speaker 1: like there's been times where Jamila is like killing it,
Speaker 1: like she's like going off and she's speaking something, She's
Speaker 1: speaking about something so eloquently, and I'm like, damn, like
Speaker 1: is she smarter than me? Like fuck? Like like damn,
Speaker 1: Like I felt insecure, like and then she shared that
Speaker 1: I was like I was like I think I'm ready
Speaker 1: to get back into acting, and she was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, is she gonna leave me? Like these are
Speaker 1: things that like, as friends, like you feel like you
Speaker 1: can't share because it makes you a hater or it
Speaker 1: makes you feel like it makes you feel like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this is so weak of me to feel like,
Speaker 1: how dare I? How could I ever feel this way
Speaker 1: about someone I love, you know, but it's like we're human,
Speaker 1: We're human. And then when I said it to her,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm so glad I
Speaker 1: said this shit because now you're like, I don't even
Speaker 1: know why. She was like, because it's not popular to
Speaker 1: be a hater. I'm like, I don't I love you.
Speaker 1: I don't know why I feel this way. It's stupid.
Speaker 2: But you know, like even in the time of like
Speaker 2: social media and LaToya, you probably dealt with this much earlier,
Speaker 2: like because you.
Speaker 1: Were in a public forum very early on, well, social
Speaker 1: media was not around.
Speaker 2: God, thank god, you've dealt with public like just just
Speaker 2: public judgment and being in spaces with other women that
Speaker 2: you're close to and being on a platform with other
Speaker 2: women that you're close to that you love and still
Speaker 2: I'm probably I'm probably sure, like feeling insecurities and feeling
Speaker 2: ways that humans feel that come up, like jealousy, like triggers,
Speaker 2: like all these things insecurities, you know, and if you
Speaker 2: don't work on them and check check them and like
Speaker 2: have conversations about them, or you don't even feel comfortable
Speaker 2: enough to do that, you'll you'll, like all those things
Speaker 2: will build up.
Speaker 1: Inside of you.
Speaker 2: But like being in a space with other women that
Speaker 2: you love on a on a you know, a platform,
Speaker 2: and people can, you know, make judgments and pick at
Speaker 2: you and say whatever the fuck people say because people
Speaker 2: are bored and.
Speaker 1: Don't know what the fuck they're talking about. But it's
Speaker 1: probably prepared you a lot to be able to function
Speaker 1: in this new world where everything is public and people
Speaker 1: can see at a restaurant be like, oh, she's dating
Speaker 1: this person, or she's she has beef with this person,
Speaker 1: and be like, well, damn, Like this is my sister
Speaker 1: and I love her and I don't need to.
Speaker 2: You've probably had a lot of tools to combat other
Speaker 2: outside criticism, whereas I feel like I'm learning that now,
Speaker 2: and social media in ways has helped and also hurt.
Speaker 2: But thank god, I have a friendship and a sister
Speaker 2: that I can like really have these conversations with and
Speaker 2: be like, am I crazy?
Speaker 1: Like why do I feel like you're gonna leave me?
Speaker 1: Like you're my nigga and I'm going to be alone
Speaker 1: and miserable and like I'm.
Speaker 2: Not going to succeed without you, you know, Like it's
Speaker 2: just even in a relationship, like we've built something together
Speaker 2: and there's fear like oh, you'll meet someone else and
Speaker 2: leave me, but really loving yourself enough and understanding your
Speaker 2: power enough, like no one's going to leave me and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fucking melt and die like it doesn't exist
Speaker 2: that way, And in fact, these are normal feelings and
Speaker 2: we should express them and we should get used to
Speaker 2: talking about it because that's how we like work past
Speaker 2: the insecurities that are not real and like the negative
Speaker 2: self talk that we all inevitably have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think a lot of times too, like
Speaker 1: it's the journey to whatever the goal is. If I'm if,
Speaker 1: I nine times out of ten, I usually do feel like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love that for you. That's amazing,
Speaker 1: You're amazing, But like I'm human, and I feel like
Speaker 1: every human, like it doesn't make me less of a
Speaker 1: friend or less of a person if I feel and
Speaker 1: insecure about my friend in some way and I feel like,
Speaker 1: like I said, this is not a popular thing to say,
Speaker 1: especially in sisterhood, right. You know, it's like, well, I
Speaker 1: thought I thought that was your sister, Like, oh, she's
Speaker 1: not your sister. Oh my god, you're jealous of your sister.
Speaker 1: Can't be your sister. It's like, no, bitch, it's a
Speaker 1: journey and we're all working towards it exactly.
Speaker 4: And but the beauty is you, guys, And what we
Speaker 4: don't do in some of our other relationships is you
Speaker 4: guys communicated. This is how I genuinely feel, and she
Speaker 4: still loved you through it, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 4: I think that there's so much fear. We operate in
Speaker 4: so much fear, and I love relationships, and that's what
Speaker 4: kills it?
Speaker 1: Did You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: It should You shouldn't fear being honest or transparent with
Speaker 4: someone that you love, you know what I mean? And
Speaker 4: what doesn't matter what kind of friendship if the love
Speaker 4: is there, what is love patient and kind?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: I'm going to be understanding of whatever it is you
Speaker 4: just told me I'm gonna be patient with you. I'm
Speaker 4: gonna love you through it. I'm gonna be kind with
Speaker 4: my words. I'm going to understand that this is a
Speaker 4: very sensitive issue with you.
Speaker 3: Like what's so hard about that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy, Like, hey, I'm human? Is that is
Speaker 1: that cool with you? Yeah? And hey, I told you
Speaker 1: you probably felt the love and the release. I was like,
Speaker 1: think you exactly. I'm like, I don't even know why
Speaker 1: I'm having these feelings. It's so stupid, right, and it's so.
Speaker 4: Crazy because when you are in like your your love
Speaker 4: relationships and you guys do have those moments, that's when
Speaker 4: you have the best sex, right, Yeah, because you had
Speaker 4: a release. So I'm like, let's have more sex, let's
Speaker 4: have more moments like this, or if we can be
Speaker 4: honest and transparent and say.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know like what I do leave, I do
Speaker 1: want to call you ten times because I want to
Speaker 1: know where the fuck you are all the time.
Speaker 3: But I'm not gonna do that because it can maybe
Speaker 3: seem great.
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that.
Speaker 3: So which I would never do that, say that I'm
Speaker 3: that person.
Speaker 4: I am just saying that when you have those notice
Speaker 4: that when you do have those conversations, you guys get
Speaker 4: stronger and stronger, your connection gets stronger and stronger. So
Speaker 4: why not want more of that in your relationships? We
Speaker 4: have it in our girl you know, our girly relationships,
Speaker 4: but we don't have that in.
Speaker 1: Our well o girl, girl, god, god, you know your
Speaker 1: relationshipate romantic relationships. I think more of that is necessary
Speaker 1: for sure. I feel like I used to offer more
Speaker 1: grace for men, and now I don't. I offer so
Speaker 1: much grace for my girlfriends, whereas now I've given, like
Speaker 1: I have these amazing friendships and now it's time to
Speaker 1: like I'm ready to like offer more grace to men.
Speaker 1: And like Jimia Lesband, she's like my practice relationship hilarious.
Speaker 1: There's there's things that I like, like for like sharing
Speaker 1: those type of things that like maybe i'd be now
Speaker 1: as I've been single for five years, almost like I
Speaker 1: would be. I'm nervous to share with a man, you know,
Speaker 1: And so I don't know. I just feel like for
Speaker 1: those listening practice on your friends, practice love with your friends.
Speaker 1: Pour into your friends like you pour into your relationship.
Speaker 1: If you pour into your relation, if you pour into
Speaker 1: a relationship with your friends, then practice with your give
Speaker 1: your your nigga the same grace you would give your
Speaker 1: girlfriend and vice versa, because they are all relationships. They
Speaker 1: should all be in acts of love and there shouldn't
Speaker 1: be this big difference in what it is besides the
Speaker 1: fact that like you're sleeping together or not. You know,
Speaker 1: really it's all about love and friendship and like respect,
Speaker 1: like do like yeah, like it's so simple, but we
Speaker 1: make it so hard. It could all be so simple
Speaker 1: just operating that.
Speaker 2: It's true, Like even in the relationship that I have
Speaker 2: right now, that's that's open. It's not monogamous, but like
Speaker 2: I am free to exist as I am, to come
Speaker 2: as I am. I'm free to be like I'm jealous,
Speaker 2: I'm insecure about that, and then mark through it. I'm like, Okay,
Speaker 2: maybe I don't need to, maybe I don't need to
Speaker 2: say that, or maybe I don't have a reason to.
Speaker 2: And even just practicing, like this bitch loves me, this
Speaker 2: person loves me and respects me, and I don't really
Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of losing them, Like because I know
Speaker 2: who this person is and I know that it's mutual,
Speaker 2: there's really no fear.
Speaker 1: Like things can shift relationships can shift. People shift. I'm
Speaker 1: not the same bitch I was in January. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not the same bitch I was in fucking March.
Speaker 1: But like it's just practicing being like self.
Speaker 2: Aware enough to communicate that to the people around you
Speaker 2: and notice when the people around you are not receiving
Speaker 2: it and can't and can't reciprocate that, because I think
Speaker 2: that's a big thing too. We grow up with friends
Speaker 2: that we've had for a long time, and then you
Speaker 2: feel stuck and being the person you grew up with
Speaker 2: them and they see you just as that and you
Speaker 2: can't get out of that. But like it's really good
Speaker 2: to keep checking in and who makes you feel good
Speaker 2: and who your tribe is.
Speaker 1: Like I agree with that. Like I say this a lot.
Speaker 2: Life is to be experienced with pleasure, Like life is pleasure.
Speaker 2: And if you're not experiencing like sex in all of
Speaker 2: your relationships and not literally speaking, but if you're not
Speaker 2: experiencing like breakthrough pleasure moments with all of your friends,
Speaker 2: break through conversations that may be uncomfortable, but afterwards you're
Speaker 2: making love Because I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, I'm I'm so happy.
Speaker 2: I can tell this bitch all this weird shit in
Speaker 2: my mind, you know, like it's it's not worth it.
Speaker 2: You know, if you don't feel those moments often in
Speaker 2: the relationships that you keep, it's probably not your people.
Speaker 2: You've got to find your tribe and you've got to
Speaker 2: find people that make you like even if it's you
Speaker 2: pushing yourself to be like this is my honest feelings.
Speaker 2: It's so important to fight for those type of relationships
Speaker 2: and go to the good vibra tree and find bitches
Speaker 2: that you can do that with, not bitches women. I
Speaker 2: need to stop with the bitches the witches that you
Speaker 2: can you can relate to in that way. And even
Speaker 2: if that means letting go of old friendships and finding
Speaker 2: new ones that serve you, that that's.
Speaker 1: What needs to happen. Fact, your friendships and your.
Speaker 2: Relationships should definitely motivate you to grow, even if it's uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: If you're staying complacent, if you don't feel like you're
Speaker 2: growing in those relationships, they're not for you.
Speaker 1: I agree. I think this is a good time to
Speaker 1: check out what this card is. Okay, let's see. So
Speaker 1: at the top of the episode, LaToya pulled the judgment card.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, and here we go, here we go, and
Speaker 1: it's teot time. Baby. The judgment card. We've never pulled
Speaker 1: this card, I don't think, but the number twenty is
Speaker 1: on it. There are people below and then water it
Speaker 1: looks like and likement compartments square boats. There's like square
Speaker 1: boats and there's like a woman it seems and with
Speaker 1: angel wings in the sky with a trumpet like you're
Speaker 1: watching on YouTube. We'll put a picture up Shout out
Speaker 1: to mahogany Taro by Kishira, our favorite black tarot card
Speaker 1: tarot card deck. But this means basically, let me tell you,
Speaker 1: because let me stop guessing right now. And I think
Speaker 1: I have to do with emotion.
Speaker 2: There's water involved and hmm rebirth inner calling absolution. So
Speaker 2: the judgment card shows a naked woman, men, women and
Speaker 2: children rising from their graves, arms outspread and looking up
Speaker 2: in the sky above our angel Gabriel, the Messenger of God,
Speaker 2: blows his trumpet. The people respond to his call, ready
Speaker 2: to be judged and to find out if they will
Speaker 2: be accepted into the heavens or not. This is the
Speaker 2: most religious tarot card I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: Actually, well Latoyan and broad the right. She was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'll never pull a no car And I was like,
Speaker 1: come on, girl, I just pulled a car. Just just
Speaker 1: for a disclaimer, also for you too, because I know
Speaker 1: we talked about this. We didn't talk about this, but
Speaker 1: we we addressed this on the trigger and I'm uh,
Speaker 1: we said what you feel, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: which which you shit? And I know we reference WHICHI
Speaker 1: shit a lot on our show, but I think.
Speaker 2: Just to clarify for people listening and for you, like
Speaker 2: if you are God fearing, if you're religious, if you're
Speaker 2: listening to our show and you're like, I'm a fucking.
Speaker 1: With those witchy bitches. We when we say which, I.
Speaker 2: Think the term I think the term has been very
Speaker 2: negative in like our society, but for us, I think, well,
Speaker 2: for me it's been very It's it's more about my
Speaker 2: divine feminine and the way in which I can utilize
Speaker 2: my magic, you know.
Speaker 1: Alongside God.
Speaker 2: It's like God's magic and how I've been able to
Speaker 2: harness it and like manifest the things that i want
Speaker 2: manifest this relationship.
Speaker 1: And just that's when I say witchy shit. It's not
Speaker 1: like the.
Speaker 2: Pagan like long long nose, like evil, Like we're not
Speaker 2: evil women but I think it's like think of Wizard
Speaker 2: of Oz, the good Witch.
Speaker 1: Glenda, Remember Glendad. That's what I'm thinking of. Okay, so
Speaker 1: judgment upright.
Speaker 2: The judgment card is calling you to rise and embrace
Speaker 2: a higher level of consciousness for the service of your
Speaker 2: highest good. You're experiencing a spiritual awakening and realizing that
Speaker 2: you are destined for so much more. This is your
Speaker 2: cosmic up leveling. You hear the call and you are
Speaker 2: ready to act. Tune into a higher frequency. Let go
Speaker 2: of your old self and step into the newest version of.
Speaker 1: You, of who you really are.
Speaker 2: The judgment card often indicates that you need to make
Speaker 2: life changing decision, but unlike those associated with the logical
Speaker 2: justice card, this decision requires a blend of intuition and intellect.
Speaker 2: You may be at a crossroads where the any choice
Speaker 2: you make will bring a significant change with the long
Speaker 2: lasting effects. Tune into your higher self, trust your judgment,
Speaker 2: and know you're on the right path. If you still
Speaker 2: need clarity on the situation, look to your past and
Speaker 2: life lessons to guide you. And I feel like we
Speaker 2: talked about this. I feel like we talked about women
Speaker 2: who are unhappy and they're like, I'm.
Speaker 1: Not so unhappy, but I've been married ten years or whatever,
Speaker 1: and then they stay. But I think it's about your intuition.
Speaker 2: I think I think we separate our intuition from religion
Speaker 2: and from like the God. You know, this very strict,
Speaker 2: rigid form of what God looks like. But I think
Speaker 2: that removes us from God, the image of God in
Speaker 2: which we were made of, and he kind of instills
Speaker 2: that in us, that intuition, so we're like, oh no,
Speaker 2: that's not for me, and in all things, we need
Speaker 2: to lead with that, you know. I think that's a part.
Speaker 1: Of this pool, and I think that's our I think
Speaker 1: the lot of that is our superpower. As women. We
Speaker 1: got that intuition on luck, and not to say men don't,
Speaker 1: but we really got it. Amen, you really got that ship.
Speaker 1: I would have to agree. I would have to agree. Wells,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. This is a
Speaker 1: fun guy. I'm so grateful for you coming out here.
Speaker 1: I know that you left Mexico a day early, but
Speaker 1: oh my god, her friends are going to kick our ass.
Speaker 1: Would you take our friend? I mean I have to
Speaker 1: go back. Yes, we'll come with you. Okay, are sent
Speaker 1: a resort to somebody, it's like, where'd you find that?
Speaker 1: I was like, don't worry about my friend, just make
Speaker 1: it happen exactly. Yeah. No, we had an amazing time,
Speaker 1: but it was worth it. It was worth it, and
Speaker 1: I actually did get to come in and just have
Speaker 1: a day to like get still. And so it worked
Speaker 1: out and that's so important. When your mom, I'm like,
Speaker 1: is this like your first trip that you've been, like
Speaker 1: like vacation trip or you are you do you take trips?
Speaker 4: I take trips, okay, but I feel like this one
Speaker 4: is the longest that I've I'm gonna be without them.
Speaker 1: It's driving me absolutely. Like my mom was sending me
Speaker 1: pictures like, oh, look at this picture.
Speaker 3: I have it t I was like, you just sent
Speaker 3: me into depression.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just do that. Oh I did not mean
Speaker 1: to do that. I'm like, just I don't know, more pictures.
Speaker 4: I'll be trying not to, you know, look at pictures
Speaker 4: and get sad because my mom's guilt to be like,
Speaker 4: oh my.
Speaker 1: God, I'm enjoying How dare I enjoy my life without
Speaker 1: my kids? Right?
Speaker 4: No, it's I mean, I'm you know, it's it's the
Speaker 4: time where I am supposed to be alone legally. I'll
Speaker 4: say it like that, so you know, is tough, but
Speaker 4: it's it's, uh, what's necessary necessary.
Speaker 1: We'll say it like that, and it's it sucks, but
Speaker 1: I'm best. I'm making the best of it. It's it
Speaker 1: might suck right now, but I'm gonna let you know now,
Speaker 1: like being able to drop them kids off is a
Speaker 1: fucking blessing gift. We love the kids, we love our children,
Speaker 1: but you know not, no shame to the married ones,
Speaker 1: but y'all don't really get them breaks unless your husband
Speaker 1: is really allowing you and you know them husband to
Speaker 1: calling you every five seconds once you leave, like, where's
Speaker 1: the toothbrush, where's the where's the how do I do this?
Speaker 1: How do I do that? You're like, fuck, I gotta go.
Speaker 1: Let me just go back. Don't go back, don't answer
Speaker 1: the phone, don't look at pictures less there's an emergency
Speaker 1: that I can physically help us, and do not call me.
Speaker 1: There's blood call me. If not, don't call me. No
Speaker 1: blood only blood blood, Yeah, because the nosebley doesn't count.
Speaker 1: What can I do physically if I'm in Mexico, I
Speaker 1: think call me after it's resolved. Don't stress me out.
Speaker 1: I'm drinking margarita. Thank you. Where can our people find
Speaker 1: you and check in on you? Oh?
Speaker 3: On my I G I'm on there often at LaToya
Speaker 3: like get l E T O I A l U
Speaker 3: c K E T T.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where I spend most of my time. Perfect
Speaker 1: And you guys. If you guys are interested in joining
Speaker 1: us in Costa Rica this summer, make sure you check
Speaker 1: out the episode description. We have a link there you
Speaker 1: can book a call with us if you have any questions.
Speaker 1: Make sure you like and review this episode or just
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Speaker 1: out our patreon that's patreon dot com, backslash Good Mom's
Speaker 1: Bad Choices, and check out our merch store. We have
Speaker 1: hellicute merch. That's it, right, that's it, so take care.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much