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Speaker 1: Guess what.

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Speaker 2: We just announced our twenty twenty two good Mom's Retreat

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Speaker 2: and our favorite place to Vaca Costa Rica.

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Speaker 1: And no, you do not have to be a mama

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Speaker 1: to kick it. You can just be a woman who

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Speaker 1: just needs to take some time for herself, that wants

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Speaker 1: to get back to herself, that wants to have some fun.

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Speaker 1: Get away from your kids, your husband, your boyfriend, your family, America.

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Speaker 2: Do a little healing, go deep within, go deep dive

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Speaker 2: into the Caribbean oceans, and come have fun with us.

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Speaker 1: So be the first to find out when the details

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Speaker 1: go up on our site by clicking the link in

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Speaker 1: this episode description. Trust me, these are going to go quickly.

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Speaker 1: We're only going to be able to accommodate twenty to

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Speaker 1: twenty five women on this trip, so if you want

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Speaker 1: to be one of those women, make sure you sign

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Speaker 1: up for more information and click the link in this

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Speaker 1: episode description. Can't wait to see you guys on the

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Speaker 1: other side.

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Speaker 2: What's up, Tribe, Welcome back to Mindful March. This week's

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Speaker 2: episode is brought to you by Christine Michelle Carter. That's right,

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Speaker 2: our girl believes so much in self love and mindfulness

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Speaker 2: that she sponsored this episode Not.

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Speaker 1: Only that, but she wrote a beautiful.

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Speaker 2: And unapologetic memoir about self love and leaving a toxic

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Speaker 2: relationship called mom AF. Let me tell you, if you

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Speaker 2: read anything this month, let it be mom AF. It's real,

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Speaker 2: it's raw, it's hilarious, and it will help you understand

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Speaker 2: more about relationships, marriage, and most importantly, yourself. You know,

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Speaker 2: good moms love a real, raw, funny, unapologetic mama, and

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Speaker 2: Christine Michelle is that. If you haven't checked out our

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Speaker 2: episode with her, it's called Divorced AF. But please go

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Speaker 2: pick up MOMAF on Kindle or on Christine Michellecarter dot com,

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Speaker 2: where you can read an entire chapter for free. That's right,

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Speaker 2: you can read an entire chapter free on Christine Michelle

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Speaker 2: Carter dot com. And you don't want to miss this

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Speaker 2: inspirational book. Do yourself a favor and pick up mom afday.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mela and it's Wednesday. Happy Wednesday

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Speaker 2: party people, Happy hump day, y'all.

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Speaker 1: How are you feeling, my love? I'm good. My neck

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Speaker 1: is kind of fucked up right now, I like I

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Speaker 1: can't really turn to the last like move my whole body. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I know I woke up with a a thing. Am

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Speaker 1: I a crank at my neck? And you know what?

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Speaker 1: I was talking to my friend the other day and

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Speaker 1: she her lung collapsed while I was in New York,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, how's your collapse lung? And she's like,

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Speaker 1: how's your neck? I was like, bitch, are we old? No,

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Speaker 1: let me let me say a conversation that we're having.

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Speaker 1: My friend here, she's so she's Reila thinks on my hypochondriac,

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Speaker 1: but she always has something wrong. Last week were in

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Speaker 1: New York. She's like she had a little she was

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Speaker 1: having a little wheezing.

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Speaker 2: And then her friend's was it a little wheezing? Her

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Speaker 2: friend's lung collapse and she's like, I think my lun

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Speaker 2: collapse too. I'm like, Erica, relaxed.

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Speaker 1: Why would I make it because you know, one friend

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Speaker 1: who's lung collapse doesn't mean your lung collapse. And then

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Speaker 1: I had another friend know that my friend downplays my

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Speaker 1: there's something all the time. And then we have another

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Speaker 1: friend something else happened. Then she's like, I think that's

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Speaker 1: what I have. I'm like, bitch, you can't keep diagnosing

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Speaker 1: yourself based on your friend's ailment. But then I went.

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Speaker 1: Then I went and they were like, you have a

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Speaker 1: sinus infection. So I did have something, okay, but it

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Speaker 1: wasn't a collapse lung. Okay, but I literally can't move

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Speaker 1: my neck. You think you think I'm just making it up.

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Speaker 1: I know yesterday she had a Luna like massaging the

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Speaker 1: shit out of her back. Lena's like, I'm a missus.

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Speaker 1: Now I need you to believe moms. Okay, I do

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Speaker 1: believe you, friend, But I just I do believe you.

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Speaker 1: You know what I noticed? I was thinking because you were.

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Speaker 1: I was on the with you, and She's like telling

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Speaker 1: me about her new ailment, and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't really get sick that often.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I've been sick like two times in

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Speaker 2: the last four years.

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Speaker 1: Household cough or whatever you call it was four months

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Speaker 1: straight you were coughing. That was about that. It was

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Speaker 1: a household and I just because I didn't go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor. That's true. That was one time in four years. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine to answer your question. Oh good, I have

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Speaker 1: to ibuprofen, so it should be kicking in any moment.

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Speaker 2: Between this, Rose and Ivy Profrien. Yeah, I'm doing good.

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Speaker 2: It's been a smooth, smoothish week. We've had some ups

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Speaker 2: and downs.

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Speaker 1: We had a little racism prejudice incident, our first, like

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Speaker 1: discrimination against us in business, not our first. I'm sure.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there's been.

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Speaker 2: Many, but this was the most. This was the most blatant,

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Speaker 2: and it was a little bit disappointing. But you know,

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Speaker 2: when you're a badass bitch making money moves in a

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Speaker 2: new space, then this is what happens. Men will tell

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Speaker 2: you now and then you keep going. So today's the

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Speaker 2: day we keep going and we stop complaining about it,

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Speaker 2: because we did that for about twenty four hours, yep,

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Speaker 2: and now it's over and we're moving on.

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Speaker 1: We are. It's a lesson learned, for sure. It is.

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Speaker 1: It is well. I want to get straight to it

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Speaker 1: because we have a special guest here today and I'm

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Speaker 1: some of the fucking excited I've been like telling my

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Speaker 1: friends and there I'm like, bitch, oh, like I don't

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Speaker 1: think you know how excited I was, And she's like

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Speaker 1: me relax. I'm like, okay, fine, we have LaToya Luckett here.

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Speaker 1: She is authors sanger, just boss mama, just so beautiful,

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Speaker 1: just like maybe it was a mattress girl crushed. Possibly

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Speaker 1: whoa wow. I swear way to make our guests uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: Uncomfortable When I was eighteen, I liked you a lot

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Speaker 1: more than just friends. No, it was more like it

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Speaker 1: was more like twelve. But you know, the first one, LaToya,

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Speaker 1: she hasn't very excited. I don't think I've ever seen

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Speaker 1: her this excited for a guest. I'm like, you really

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Speaker 1: do need to contest wonderful I have a special outfit on.

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, why didn't you tell me we're

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Speaker 1: wearing special outfit? And if you're watching YouTube, you like,

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Speaker 1: this ain't that special. It's a brown jeans dress. But

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Speaker 1: I just knew when I looked on her Instagram, I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my gosh, she's so fashionable. Like I

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Speaker 1: can't just be out here in my sweats and ship

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Speaker 1: like I gotta like really like get dressed up with

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Speaker 1: this bitch. Okay, oh my gosh, So welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: What an introduction. She's like, I'm so fucking uncomfortable now, No,

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Speaker 1: that was great. I was just so in tuned what

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Speaker 1: you guys are talking about. I was like, tell me

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Speaker 1: more about the neck exciting, what's going on? And that

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Speaker 1: is just age. The racism is just America. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I know. We went to go

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Speaker 1: get an office space and we were going to sign

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Speaker 1: the lease, and then the guy said he looked at

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Speaker 1: our Instagram and said we cursed too much, and that he.

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Speaker 2: Sees me that we smoke weed and that it's not

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Speaker 2: a weed friendly.

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Speaker 1: It's not a smoking space. So what you already clearly

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Speaker 1: saw in the fucking lease that he sent us and

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Speaker 1: we signed. And then he said, and I also know

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Speaker 1: that you cursed, and I don't know if that's going

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Speaker 1: to be issue. And I'm like nigga, and what world

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Speaker 1: to do Anyone in the other spaces hear us talk

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Speaker 1: to the recording studio. It's a recording studio, okay, And

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Speaker 1: there's walls. It's a recording studio. It's a sound proof walls.

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Speaker 1: That's what I was going to That's exactly what I said.

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Speaker 1: We're not going to smoke. That's very clear. We got

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Speaker 1: that it's a recording studio. So why does it matter

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Speaker 1: for Curson. We're going to be in the recording studio.

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Speaker 2: What I said is we're respectable women business women and parents.

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Speaker 1: Well, why would you do this anyway? He still said no,

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Speaker 1: and then we proceeded to send him a nasty text

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Speaker 1: message this morning, wrong I did. I said this discrimination periodic.

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Speaker 3: Look, but don't be nowhere.

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Speaker 1: You ain't want it and got a better life. That part.

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Speaker 1: I was like, this is going this is going to

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Speaker 1: be problematic in the future, and I have to whoop

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Speaker 1: Alex's ass. So it's probably best that we let that

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Speaker 1: one go. Yeah, we don't want that. We don't want that.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, you know, I think here's to whatever new spaces.

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Speaker 1: You know what. Look, let's take it. Cheers, take cheers

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Speaker 1: to accepting what is for us. And that's it, Yes,

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Speaker 1: accepting what is for us, not trying to fit a

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Speaker 1: circle to a square. Oh say that shit again, because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be in that square. Okay. I

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Speaker 1: want to stay in the circle, and.

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Speaker 2: I want to be in a space where it fits.

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Speaker 2: I fit good and cozy and snug and just right.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be forcing it and be like

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Speaker 2: poked a little bit.

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Speaker 1: And okay, I want to smoke in my goddamn studio

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Speaker 1: that you know. I was going to compromise, but I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to just do what I gotta do, okay, And

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Speaker 1: smoking is part of my self care and the brand.

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Speaker 1: So God said, girl, it ain't gonna work. You can't

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Speaker 1: smoke it. We're not. I'm not gonna make this happen

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Speaker 1: for you. God said, we need a can a friendly studio.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of strong affirmation, strong statements, do you have any

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Speaker 2: affirmations for us today?

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Speaker 1: I do?

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Speaker 4: Okay, let me see you check your check your record.

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Speaker 1: Here's one.

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Speaker 4: So no, I keep all my affirmations like, oh, my

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Speaker 4: bathroom when mirror, it's gotten to the point where it's

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Speaker 4: so covered I can't even see myself anymore. But it's

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Speaker 4: like the place that I go, of course every morning,

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Speaker 4: and I do that before I do anything and say them.

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Speaker 4: So here's like one from my mirror, my affirmation mirror.

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Speaker 4: I am a divine light chosen and appointed by God.

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Speaker 4: I am who God created me. I am who God

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Speaker 4: created me to be without compromise.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I am a divine light chosen What I am

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Speaker 1: a divine light chosen and appointed by God. I'm a

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Speaker 1: divine light chosen and appointed by God.

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Speaker 3: I am who God created me to be.

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Speaker 1: I am who God created me to be without compromise

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Speaker 1: without compromise, that last line, Now, that last line, compromise.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think people forget that, you know, showing up

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Speaker 2: as yourself is an act of God. I think people

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Speaker 2: fight that because they pretend to be something else, or

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Speaker 2: I think they're supposed to be something else based on people,

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Speaker 2: And you forget that you came as you are, and

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Speaker 2: if God didn't expect you to be this way, you

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Speaker 2: wouldn't be this way. And it's in your best interest

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Speaker 2: to be all of you and not to you know,

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Speaker 2: shrink or fit into other spaces to appease people, because

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Speaker 2: people didn't create you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they did not, and they will try to

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Speaker 1: hold you hostage to who you were and all these things.

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Speaker 1: And you are the designer of your life. And you

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Speaker 1: can decide if you yesterday you like chicken and today

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Speaker 1: you don't, that's fine. Oh wow, that's specific. People always

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Speaker 1: want to to my eating habits, and I'm there to

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Speaker 1: say I'm allowed to change.

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Speaker 2: I just want to say, if you would stop bashing

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Speaker 2: other people's eating habits, then maybe people wouldn't be so

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Speaker 2: weird about old.

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Speaker 1: Maybe bashing yours if you'd leave mine alone. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 1: whoa ring here? Not like it. We love each other.

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Speaker 1: We love it. Y'all sound like me, Aferia.

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Speaker 2: People are probably so happy we're doing any type of

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Speaker 2: cursing each other out any other time.

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Speaker 1: You're like, I love you so much.

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Speaker 2: Me and Erica, we love each other so much. Let

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Speaker 2: me tell you how much I love you. This week

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Speaker 2: I discovered I'd loved Erica even more than last week

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Speaker 2: because you know what she said. So I'm like, we

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Speaker 2: are such lesbians without the lesbian. But I'm so grateful.

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Speaker 2: I really am grateful for Like, as I get older,

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Speaker 2: I've always had close friends, but like really grateful for

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Speaker 2: the outlet to have a friend that I really do

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Speaker 2: love this much. We went to we went to go

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Speaker 2: eat dinner.

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Speaker 1: The other night, I was telling somebody and I was like,

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Speaker 1: me and eric As sat in the car before we

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Speaker 1: got to dinner and cried and told each other how

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Speaker 1: much we love each other and our deep insecurities and fears,

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Speaker 1: and then we told each other we're never leaving each other.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't need a relationship. I have my bitch.

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Speaker 1: She hates part. She holds all my insecurities and she

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Speaker 1: tells me it's okay. I mean, I do need a nigga.

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Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, you don't need I

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Speaker 1: don't need one. I want one. But I'm okay because

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Speaker 1: I have.

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Speaker 2: Really supportive, loving friendships and I'm grateful that's us.

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Speaker 4: You know what, Can we talk about that for a

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Speaker 4: little bit because I'm at a place where, you know,

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Speaker 4: of course I do desire a relationship. And when you

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Speaker 4: come out of you know, a marriage and you're divorced

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Speaker 4: and everything, you're like, okay, wait, coming out of this,

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Speaker 4: of course I need my space.

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Speaker 1: And everybody's like, you need time alone always. You need

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Speaker 1: to gather yourself and you know, get to know you.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, mich I know forty.

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Speaker 1: One years, I know me. I can't I know me?

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Speaker 3: Okay, and then I'm.

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Speaker 1: Forever changing so I can't keep up. But you know what.

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Speaker 4: I'm saying, like, I you don't want to feel like

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Speaker 4: you need someone, but you do desire someone. And it's

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Speaker 4: I think healthy to want to love again and healthy

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Speaker 4: to want to be in a relationship again.

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Speaker 3: It's just like when is that?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 4: And then they're like, well, don't do it until you

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Speaker 4: have some therapy, right feel and you know, collect yourself.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, whitch I am collect looking at the

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Speaker 1: mare and talk to yourself alone?

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Speaker 3: Right, And I'm like, who was to be alone?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes?

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Speaker 2: Like the relationship you just gotta makes it real clear

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Speaker 2: what you need to not get into again. And I'm like, actually,

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Speaker 2: haven't really prepared that relationship really prepared me for the

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Speaker 2: next one.

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Speaker 4: That's the therapy when right, I'm like, when is the

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Speaker 4: right time to start again?

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Speaker 3: Because I feel like I'm rich, you.

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Speaker 1: Know what I mean? Like, I feel how long has

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Speaker 1: it been? Well? Tell us, like how long has it been?

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Speaker 1: Like what it has your love journey been? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: First of all, let me say nobody can tell you

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Speaker 2: when the fuck you're ready.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, like who makes these time limits?

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Speaker 1: Who makes these rules? It's like there it is. It's

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Speaker 1: show true what you say though, Like people in society

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Speaker 1: have these like time limits that you must do certain

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Speaker 1: things before you can enter in the next phase of

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Speaker 1: your life. Yep, And it's like why who made these up?

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Speaker 1: It's coming up?

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Speaker 3: Who's the odds behind me?

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Speaker 1: My soulmate, my walk through the door right after this

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Speaker 1: nigga leave, So I'm supposed to pass him up and

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Speaker 1: do that because society said I need to wait six months.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and they make the face too, even if they

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Speaker 4: don't say it's like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, so, whend you guys start dating like oh six

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Speaker 1: months ago and you're like, oh yes, it's like almost

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Speaker 1: you don't want to tell people when yeah, like, how long?

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Speaker 1: Two months? I don't care. I'm the bitch. Don't you

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Speaker 1: say shit about my two month love? Okay, I'm in love.

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Speaker 1: You shut the fuck up. But yeah, you're pisces right.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's the water sign. It's the water

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Speaker 1: sign trinity.

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Speaker 4: Here, we're all here love and shit, wait are we

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Speaker 4: all we're all on a scorpio.

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Speaker 1: Oh well still I'm a cancer. Yeah, yeah, we're here.

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Speaker 1: We're here strong to say that we do need love.

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Speaker 1: We're independent women, but we do love. I've been really

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Speaker 1: conscious of not. First of all, we have this like

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Speaker 1: women Empowerment podcast, and I think that men feel like

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Speaker 1: they're not Like, I'm very clear not to make men

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Speaker 1: feel like they're not needed. I do need, we do

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Speaker 1: need and want men, and I do like, I'm very

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Speaker 1: grateful for the divine masculine in my life and I

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Speaker 1: welcome it.

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Speaker 2: But if it ain't the right one, you can fucking go.

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Speaker 2: I have a lot of strong women around me, but

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Speaker 2: like I I, we.

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Speaker 1: Could use more. We need you to get healed.

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Speaker 2: If you guys are listening, men, please starting to please

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Speaker 2: and go to please.

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Speaker 1: You're not above it. We all did it. We all

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Speaker 1: are doing the work. We all need to catch up.

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Speaker 1: We all do.

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Speaker 2: Black men specifically, Please, we are doing the work. We

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Speaker 2: are begging you to do the work so we don't

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Speaker 2: all become lesbians.

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Speaker 1: I beg of you, God, but we don't want to

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Speaker 1: end up a of small colony together. Want you. My

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Speaker 1: feminism does not mean that you are not important. Okay

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Speaker 1: so important, and I think that's where your little piece

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Speaker 1: when you're an empowered woman. I feel like, especially in

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Speaker 1: this time, like I feel like men feel like that

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Speaker 1: they're like excluded from the conversation, excluded, they don't are

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Speaker 1: not needed. And granted I have said nigaz ain't shit

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Speaker 1: a lot, and I have also said that we can

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Speaker 1: just take your sperm and like, you know, handle the rest. However,

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Speaker 1: I'm here to say that I rescind those comments. Hear you,

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Speaker 1: hear you. I'm growing, guys, I'm growing, I do. I

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Speaker 1: think I said this on some other podcasts recently, but

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Speaker 1: I really like we need you, I love you, I

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Speaker 1: want you, but go to therapy and if those that

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Speaker 1: have already are in it, call me, call me. Okay.

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Speaker 2: So that's like, how do you know when you're ready

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Speaker 2: to move on from a long term relationship or a marriage?

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Speaker 1: How did you know? Yeah? I think that because you've

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Speaker 1: been you've been married twice. Yes, Okay, so I.

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Speaker 4: Must I must say, I'm going to say, and I'm

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Speaker 4: not I'm not saying at all that like.

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Speaker 3: Time matters as far as the.

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Speaker 4: Length of like my first marriage, because it was very real,

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Speaker 4: but I feel like, of course with my second marriage,

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Speaker 4: we had children, We did a lot in a very

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Speaker 4: long time, I mean very short amount of time. And

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Speaker 4: I think when you get how do I answer this

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Speaker 4: question without answering this question.

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Speaker 1: If you will question, I'm answering. I know, I am,

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Speaker 1: I am. I'm gonna. I'm gonna really put some thought

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Speaker 1: into this.

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Speaker 4: But I feel like, you know, just like you know

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Speaker 4: when you're they're the one, right, I feel like you

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Speaker 4: you go. Okay, wait a minute, my gut is telling

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Speaker 4: me I feel peace with whatever the decision is, and

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Speaker 4: and I'm going to allow God to lead and trust

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Speaker 4: my gut and when you know a shift happens, then

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Speaker 4: you have to trust what that shift is and and

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Speaker 4: move accordingly and trust that everything is going to be okay.

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Speaker 4: And I think that that's what I found strength in

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Speaker 4: trusting myself. I found strength.

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Speaker 1: Is so difficult.

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Speaker 4: It is so difficult at times, but I definitely I

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Speaker 4: tapped into something different and I knew that, you know,

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Speaker 4: this wasn't a decision that was going to be made

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Speaker 4: for just me. But I have little ones, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, which makes a decision like that even

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Speaker 4: even tougher.

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Speaker 1: But I think to go to just trust yourself, trust yourself.

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Speaker 4: I have so many girlfriends or women that I talked

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Speaker 4: to and they're like, girl, I don't no like I'm married,

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Speaker 4: and I love that I'm married, but I'm not happy

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Speaker 4: in my marriage and what should I do? And my

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Speaker 4: parents have been married for like thirty five forty five

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Speaker 4: years and I want that same thing, but my marriage

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Speaker 4: don't feel like they marriage. And I'm getting abused or

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Speaker 4: this and this, and I'm like, you know, if you

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Speaker 4: know if you are in an abusive situation, then by

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Speaker 4: all means really And someone had to tell me.

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Speaker 1: One of my sisters in.

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Speaker 4: Christ had to tell me, like when we get up

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Speaker 4: there and we say those vowels, you know, and we're

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Speaker 4: you know, that covenant is made. It's a real thing.

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Speaker 4: So when someone breaks the covenant and abuse is that

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Speaker 4: in all its forms, then.

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Speaker 3: You know, the covenants broken, sweetheart, the contract is.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that we narrow it down to, oh,

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Speaker 4: if they commit adultery or if they do this one

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Speaker 4: thing or whatever. It's like, no, we got to look

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Speaker 4: into And I'm not speaking specifically on my situation. I'm

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Speaker 4: speaking about even you know, conversations that I've had with

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Speaker 4: you know, women who are going with.

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Speaker 3: You know, going through a divorce.

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Speaker 4: Like if you're finding yourself in a situation where we're

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Speaker 4: looking at this covenant thing or we're looking at these

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Speaker 4: vals we you know, we took and it's not lining up,

401
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Speaker 4: then we got to ask ourselves some real serious questions.

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Speaker 1: We got a message from someone today about basically like

403
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Speaker 1: abuse doesn't look like physical all the time. And I

404
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Speaker 1: think a lot of people are like, well, my marriage

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Speaker 1: is fine, my relationship is fine, Like he's not like

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Speaker 1: beating me, you know, And it's like, girl, that there's

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Speaker 1: so many different forms of abuse.

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Speaker 2: And in fact, it's scary because like verbal and like

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Speaker 2: mental abuse is so it gradually builds up in a

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Speaker 2: way that you become used to it. And so it's

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Speaker 2: even more important that you check in with yourself because

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Speaker 2: that's the type of abuse. Like it's one thing, someone

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Speaker 2: hits you upside the fucking hand, you're like, oh shit, nigga, wow,

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Speaker 2: that's a hit, you know, and even then, but just

415
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Speaker 2: be being bitchous, will be like, oh well, it's not

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Speaker 2: like I'm not like in a lifetime movie.

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Speaker 1: But like you have to really be clear.

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Speaker 2: And not only that, like abuse is a huge thing,

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Speaker 2: but also just like I think honoring yourself if you

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Speaker 2: grow out of something.

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Speaker 1: Right doesn't and yeah it doesn't have to be that,

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Speaker 1: but if it doesn't feel good to you, and you've

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Speaker 1: tried this and you've tried that, and I know, for

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Speaker 1: me and like for most women, you've sat with that

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Speaker 1: feeling for a minute, you've digested, you've thought about it,

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Speaker 1: you're like, damn, this doesn't feel good, this doesn't look good.

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Speaker 2: I don't like how this feels. And then you stay

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Speaker 2: because that's what women do because we're trying to honor our,

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Speaker 2: you know, the family, the children, the standard we put

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Speaker 2: in a lot of work and trying to make things

431
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Speaker 2: happen a lot of times, and sometimes your growth is

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Speaker 2: all the time. If your growth is not being honored

433
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,479
Speaker 2: in that relationship, it's time to go.

434
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I think we give our lot. I think

435
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:51,280
Speaker 1: specifically as black women dating black men, we give met

436
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,919
Speaker 1: black men a lot of grace when it comes to

437
00:20:54,520 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 1: shortcomings and being patient, and they would not give us

438
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 1: that grace. I still love you black men, I promise,

439
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,639
Speaker 1: but y'all wouldn't like you wouldn't if I cheated on

440
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 1: my my man, like it would be over period. But

441
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 1: women will We are a little bit more. I mean,

442
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,880
Speaker 1: granted there are some men that day, but I would say,

443
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: you know, the typical situation would be like you be

444
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 1: out you know you're a hoe? Now, Oh my god,

445
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 1: that's such a typical man statement.

446
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,240
Speaker 4: No, I think it's generational too, because I've learned in

447
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 4: certain relationships that I've been and even you know, with

448
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,719
Speaker 4: having a brother, like if you aren't doing what they

449
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 4: saw their mama, do you know what I mean? Like

450
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:41,240
Speaker 4: we have grace with their development or you know, their

451
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 4: shortcomings and all these different things.

452
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 3: But I feel like sometimes they'll.

453
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 4: Look at us and go, well, shoot, I watched my

454
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 4: mama have three jobs and come home and cook and.

455
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 1: Clean and do this.

456
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 4: And it's a thing of if you're not meeting that standard,

457
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 4: you know, you know, as black mothers, we are, I

458
00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 4: feel like raising the ball and sometimes like creating these

459
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:08,400
Speaker 4: oh god, like they think we're superheroes because we do

460
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,439
Speaker 4: stretch ourselves so much, and our sons watch that, and

461
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 4: then whoever, you know, they start to date or they

462
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 4: you know, want to marry or whatever, they have those

463
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 4: same expectations of that young lady. And then if she doesn't,

464
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,000
Speaker 4: you know, if she isn't doing what she what he

465
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 4: saw us do, then she's not enough.

466
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: That's not fair.

467
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 3: I don't think that that's fair.

468
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 1: You know, it's absolutely not fair. And also because I've

469
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: had this conversation with a man actually when you're saying this,

470
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: had made me think of one specific person that I

471
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: used to date, and he would talk about his mother

472
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,200
Speaker 1: a lot with me and how amazing she was and

473
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 1: just this incredible force and like da da da da da,

474
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 1: which is great. I love that that he revered on

475
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:54,640
Speaker 1: her mother. So yeah, but I feel like a lot

476
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 1: of times these men or these boys, they don't know

477
00:22:58,080 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 1: what the fuck their mama was doing. On the week

478
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Van Layson posted something recently, what type

479
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,800
Speaker 1: of shit their mom showed them, what she wanted to

480
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 1: show them, And a lot of times, as black mothers,

481
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 1: we don't show our kids the real We don't want to.

482
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: We don't want them to see us struggle. We don't

483
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,640
Speaker 1: want them to us. We don't want them to see

484
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 1: us in pain. And I honestly I understand protecting your kids,

485
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: but I think we do them. We do these boys

486
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:28,240
Speaker 1: such a disservice because they have these unrealistic expectations of

487
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,520
Speaker 1: what their partners supposed to show up, like knowing goddamn well,

488
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: and their mom knowing goddamn well they were struggling. Yeah,

489
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: they were struggling, if not more than you know, yeah,

490
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 1: And which is why they had to protect and why

491
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 1: they had to show up this way.

492
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 4: I don't think even when I was a kid, I

493
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 4: don't remember seeing my mom struggle with you know, dear divorce,

494
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 4: the divorce between.

495
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: My mom and dad. And I now that I think back,

496
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, did I ever even see her cry? Like

497
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,440
Speaker 1: I All I do remember her doing is making sure

498
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 1: you know, we stayed in private school.

499
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 3: She would go off to work.

500
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 4: She would work some weekend jobs as well, take us

501
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 4: to work with her. House was always clean, our you know,

502
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 4: we always had nice things, all these different things. And

503
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 4: she really did come off like a superhero. And now

504
00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 4: that you know, we're old and I'm old enough to

505
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 4: have those kind of conversations with her and then going

506
00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 4: through my situation, you know, in talking to her, she

507
00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,400
Speaker 4: made it look easy, but she struggled just as much

508
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,239
Speaker 4: as I did, you know what I mean, And that

509
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 4: as I am, because I'm currently going through it, and

510
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 4: I'm like, I wonder why am I didn't let me

511
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: see this side then, you know, And I think if

512
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 4: I would, I think that there are strength and power

513
00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 4: in me seeing that in her. You know, if I

514
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 4: would have seen her her weak moments, then when I

515
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,159
Speaker 4: was having mind going through my divorce, it would have

516
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:48,439
Speaker 4: been like.

517
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: Okay, it's okay to feel that way.

518
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,640
Speaker 3: I don't always have to be all.

519
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,040
Speaker 1: Right, you know what I mean.

520
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 4: And so we've had conversations about it since. But she

521
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 4: was very very quiet about She was one of the

522
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 4: moms that was very quiet and put on the cape,

523
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 4: and you know, she she felt like she was protecting

524
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 4: us from the pain that she was going through.

525
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: But that's that's that's how most moms are.

526
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 2: You know that, that's really how you know that, that's

527
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: that's the like the image that we're given that you

528
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 2: do have to be a superhero, that you can't let

529
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 2: your kids see you cry, that you have to have

530
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 2: everything taken care of. And for most of us, I think,

531
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 2: especially for black women, that's what we've seen our parents do.

532
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: But like you said, it's not realistic. And then you're

533
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,200
Speaker 1: moving through life like what the fuck You're like, I'm

534
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: fucking up, Like I'm weak, Like my mom didn't do this?

535
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: Why do I do that? Why am I so like

536
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: tore up over this? Why am I so tore up?

537
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,840
Speaker 1: Why can't I get over this? Man? You know? And

538
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 1: it's it's it's really I think important for you. You

539
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 1: have a you have a daughter and a son. Yeah,

540
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,399
Speaker 1: I think it's really important for like I want to

541
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 1: say even more so, it's no, it's equally sons really

542
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: need to see the essence of a woman and their

543
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,640
Speaker 1: mother and all the different dimensions of what that means.

544
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,680
Speaker 1: They really do. If we want to prepare and I

545
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 1: don't have a sign. But if I ever did, like

546
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,919
Speaker 1: preparing him for like the woman that might show up

547
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: in his life and having discernment and having empathy, Oh baby,

548
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:20,240
Speaker 1: empathy is big.

549
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,920
Speaker 3: Can we make T shirts?

550
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 1: Right?

551
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 4: Because and I'm by the way, I'm just learning about

552
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 4: like narcissism and all that whole gray and that is

553
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 4: like the one thing that a narcissist doesn't have empathy.

554
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: And I did not know that people in the world.

555
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,600
Speaker 3: Of course I knew there were bad people out there, right, but.

556
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 4: I kind of felt like everybody had a little empathy, seriously,

557
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 4: but narcissists have like none, is what I'm learning, right,

558
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 4: And so I guess me thinking the whole like with

559
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 4: a car, you know, you buy a car and there's

560
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 4: like the standard package and there's like the gold package.

561
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 4: I thought that that, like empathy came with the standard package.

562
00:26:59,200 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: Yeah it's big.

563
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 4: It's not the rolldown when like it's still electric windows,

564
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 4: but there's empathy there, you know what I mean. Like

565
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 4: I just felt that that was there, and that's not

566
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 4: like you have to actually purchase that extra you have

567
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 4: to make sure that's on the list on the line sheet, right,

568
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,560
Speaker 4: and it's yeah, you got But when do you find

569
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,440
Speaker 4: that out though, right, because all right, say, if we're

570
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,360
Speaker 4: dealing with the narcissist, right, narcissists know how to cover

571
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 4: up their narcissism until the time it's time to pounds.

572
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 4: And it's a thing of Okay, do you date the

573
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 4: person six months, do you date them a year, do

574
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 4: you date them two years? And then when does their

575
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 4: narcissism get sick of hiding itself and then show up.

576
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 2: I think that there are signs, and I feel like

577
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,440
Speaker 2: narcissis could only hide for so long. You can only

578
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 2: be so calculated. I feel like if you're paying attention,

579
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,080
Speaker 2: there are going to be other things outside of just

580
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,960
Speaker 2: the lack of empathy that are going to like have signs,

581
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,639
Speaker 2: especially if you've dealt with the narcisst before or maybe

582
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 2: listen to our episode how to Spot a narcissist. But

583
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 2: it's necessary because they're tricky.

584
00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,919
Speaker 1: It's almost like a con artist. It is a con art.

585
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 2: It's like one step up from a sociopath. So you

586
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:05,639
Speaker 2: really got to be careful because sociopaths don't have any empathy.

587
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: But you really I kind of I think I'm not

588
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:09,480
Speaker 2: the type of person.

589
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 1: Again.

590
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: Fucking cancer over here, who's like moving in precaution, Like

591
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 2: I don't trust anyone that's not my m I do

592
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: feel like God gives you your instinct and your intuition

593
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,320
Speaker 2: and you kind of know. But like if I feel

594
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:26,440
Speaker 2: like something's not right, I usually will I'll let that

595
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 2: I'm examining it. You know, I'm gonna be kind and

596
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be trustworthy, but I'm gonna constantly be examining

597
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 2: it and be like, hmm, that don't make that makes

598
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:35,639
Speaker 2: a lot of sense that you did that.

599
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,479
Speaker 1: I don't like that that. I don't mean that'll add up. Yeah,

600
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I think a lot of times with this

601
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: narcissist and the empathy conversation, I feel like they do

602
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: cover it up or they show you so much empathy

603
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: in the beginning that you do you assume that they

604
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,160
Speaker 1: extend that to everyone else or always or always and

605
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 1: that it's always going to be this way, and then

606
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: you see how I mean one of the ways that

607
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 1: actually Megan Doherty, she was narcissist expert we had on

608
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,840
Speaker 1: she talks about just uh, death by a thousand cuts.

609
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: So it's like they just do these little cuts where

610
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: you like and then suddenly you're fucking bleeding, and you're like,

611
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on? Like they're just little ones,

612
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,240
Speaker 1: and then the love bombing, like the gifts and the

613
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 1: adoration just like you are amazing, Queen High High High,

614
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: and that's supporting, so supportive, supportive, supportive, Kanye West supportive.

615
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: And then suddenly you're like, fuck.

616
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 2: You, what the fuck just happened? I thought you loved

617
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 2: me and you loved me so much last week.

618
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 1: What. Yeah, it's it's really it's scary. It can be

619
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: a really scary place, and unfortunately, I think that there

620
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,400
Speaker 1: are a lot more narcissisms, more narcissists in the world

621
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: than not, and honestly, I feel like the Internet is

622
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 1: making them. I think you're I think you could be

623
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 1: born one, but I think you can also like the

624
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: environment in which the world where we're at, in the

625
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: world where everyone is so self centered and cares so

626
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: much about just themselves and not in a healthy way,

627
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,320
Speaker 1: is birthing narcissists left and right. Yeah, So it can

628
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: be scary.

629
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: Because because you're newly single and kind of newly divorced,

630
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:13,960
Speaker 2: and you know, you're just trying to out trying to

631
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 2: figure it out. Would you are you willing to say

632
00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 2: you would probably get married again or no.

633
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Okay, I'm a wife. Okay, okay, I heard that, baby. Same.

634
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,719
Speaker 4: You's gotta find the right not to be fine, but

635
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 4: the right one will find right.

636
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree the same that you know, Like, you know,

637
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,880
Speaker 1: I'm not usually I'm not very worried, even though in

638
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,640
Speaker 1: like this space, me and Eric are always like we

639
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: talk a lot. We're talking a lot of explicit content.

640
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: You know, are we gonna find husbands? Is that we're

641
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 1: gonna wipe vest? What the fuck are we gonna be

642
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: a wife? Mes? So we can't even get a studio space?

643
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 1: Were going a husband? Wait till our husband sees these clips,

644
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: we get a divorce. But I feel very I do.

645
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 2: I feel strongly that what's for me is for me,

646
00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,960
Speaker 2: and like who's supposed to love me and accept me

647
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 2: will come, and that when they come and present themselves,

648
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to know it's them.

649
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 1: God's going to be like, bitch here he is.

650
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 2: Finally not the narcissist, right guy, because that one I

651
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 2: thought was my nigga, But this one, okay, you know,

652
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 2: I feel like all the practice I do feel I

653
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 2: trust that all of the practice niggas that I've had

654
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: have prepared me for my husband that is on his wife.

655
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, what are your five? I would I wanted to

656
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: ask you because you are single and maybe date. Are

657
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: you dating? I don't know. It's hard in la Like no,

658
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 1: I mean, like you know, it's crazy, like have you

659
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 1: ever joined a dating app? Thing you would do? How

660
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: can I d y R RAYA is like the dating app,

661
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: it's like the Soho House of dating apps, but it's

662
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: it's it's not great. Yeah, it's people in the entertainment.

663
00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: It's why if that's what you're looking for? Yeah, so

664
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: no entertaining? You did a regular, regular guy just at

665
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: the regular job or do you have I don't like

666
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: that word regular. Yeah okay, well what do you want

667
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: me to say? I'm not celebrity, non celebrity man, non industry.

668
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 4: I obviously have no problem with dating or marrying people

669
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 4: that are not in the entertainment industry.

670
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 1: And obviously it doesn't protect shit, so I mean, it

671
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 1: doesn't guarantee anything.

672
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 3: Have both.

673
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: Just like me, I thought if I dated slightly out

674
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:34,640
Speaker 1: attractive men that they would never like, it would just

675
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: be good, Like we'd be good forever like that. That

676
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: doesn't work either, because then you got me and then

677
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 1: you're feeling yourself. So no, no, yeah, no. Have most

678
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:48,680
Speaker 1: of the men you've dated been in the entertainment industry? No,

679
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 1: I've had some.

680
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,240
Speaker 4: I mean and and here's the other part of that, right,

681
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 4: So if we're looking at a list, here, look at

682
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 4: the numbers, right, right, So okay, here's the fun part

683
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 4: about you know, yes, starting in the industry very very young,

684
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 4: and it's almost like high school, right, or if I

685
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,280
Speaker 4: was a person that wasn't in the entertainment industry.

686
00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:14,880
Speaker 1: Right, you go to school, high school, college, the whole thing.

687
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 4: You have your community, you go to church. Right, So

688
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 4: normally you're going to meet someone within that pool.

689
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: Right.

690
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,800
Speaker 4: If I'm in the entertainment industry, started touring at twelve

691
00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,000
Speaker 4: or not twelve, fourteen, sixteen, and that's what I've been

692
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 4: doing a majority of my life, then I'm going to

693
00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 4: date within that pool. So what happens is when you

694
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:37,239
Speaker 4: go and meet someone who isn't in the industry, and

695
00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 4: you might you know, they asked, oh, who have you

696
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 4: dated or whatever, which is like, now, then I'm thinking,

697
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 4: God of a strange question. And then it might be

698
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 4: his favorite sports something and it might be a few

699
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 4: of them, or there's a singer or a rapper in

700
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 4: there or something there.

701
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 3: Then it's like, dang, you.

702
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:59,080
Speaker 4: Done dated a lot of industry, and I'm like, I'm

703
00:33:59,120 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 4: in the industry.

704
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 1: How many college girlfriends did you have?

705
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:03,960
Speaker 3: How many high school girlfriends did you have?

706
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 4: That was my high school? Tour was my high school

707
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Like, and a person that's

708
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 4: not in the entertainment industry, wo view it as oh

709
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 4: she you know, they would see it as one way

710
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 4: when it's really like.

711
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,719
Speaker 1: No, brou how many how many of them?

712
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 3: Hold you knocked down in your neighborhood church?

713
00:34:20,120 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 1: Right?

714
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 3: This was my neighborhood.

715
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 1: This is where I was at. And I'm sorry if

716
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: you had him on your wall.

717
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 4: Not even I'm sorry if you go to his games

718
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 4: and you admire him or you look at his stats

719
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 4: every week, but I'm bruh, that's my neighborhood. Like, so

720
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 4: you have to understand that, you know, although my life

721
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:42,959
Speaker 4: was different than yours, it don't make me a whole

722
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,640
Speaker 4: orthing like just.

723
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: Letting the way you were admiring me exactly A few

724
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 1: niggas you a right.

725
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 4: Period, not a few maybe or a few, doesn't matter,

726
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 4: but whatever, Like it's in an entertainer, that's what's going

727
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 4: to happen, right.

728
00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 2: I think it's also I imagine it's easier to date

729
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: someone in their industry, like even even in podcasting, Like

730
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:10,640
Speaker 2: I talk a lot, a lot of shit. You're gonna

731
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,719
Speaker 2: you get it, okay, cool, you get it perfect because

732
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,880
Speaker 2: everyone's not comfortable with someone in the public.

733
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: Eyety, Yeah, that's your community. This is a community, nigga.

734
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: And if you can't, if this is your man crushed Monday,

735
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:26,799
Speaker 1: then that's not my problem. Also, Also, do I still

736
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: like you if my last nigg is your man crushed Monday?

737
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,560
Speaker 2: Probably not. We just talked about that on my I

738
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: don't need to be too easily impressed with things. That's

739
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: like an LA mentality too, Like can you not fan out?

740
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 2: Please relax, just rely, relax, relax.

741
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 1: It be okay. Well, so you don't know if you're dating, right,

742
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:45,479
Speaker 1: like I don't.

743
00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,120
Speaker 4: I will say this, I have not been on an

744
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 4: actual date since I divorce.

745
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 1: No, okay. Well, Also, I mean.

746
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,000
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, can I just say this like it's gonna

747
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:59,879
Speaker 4: for the next one. You're just not gonna be seen

748
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,640
Speaker 4: in the public we mean that easy and not often

749
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 4: so who That's what's going to probably make this process

750
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 4: a little more difficult as far as going on an

751
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 4: actual date is. I can't really just go on a

752
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 4: date and be seen in freaking Houston's I know her,

753
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, because even if it's a

754
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,880
Speaker 4: first date, somebody can see us, take a picture and

755
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:21,960
Speaker 4: it's like, oh they together.

756
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 3: No, bro, Like, that's not what's going on.

757
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 4: So I have to be super duper careful with that.

758
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 4: It's got to be like four months on the phone.

759
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: Or you could do a home date, but the home

760
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:41,919
Speaker 1: days just by the whole you might get married real quick,

761
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:46,720
Speaker 1: real fast. I'm in love, you know. The dack is confusing,

762
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 1: So let's just yeah, step away from that. What are

763
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 1: your like five non negotiables? Like what it now that like,

764
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:59,680
Speaker 1: you know you're single, you've probably learned some lessons. What

765
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 1: are your what would you say you're five? People only

766
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: say there's five non negotiables or you should have five

767
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 1: non negotiables when dating? What would you say yours are

768
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: five non negotiables when dating? A liar?

769
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 3: Like, let's i'd rather.

770
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 4: Do tell me flat out this is what's going on?

771
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 4: Or I'm dating five of the bras, or you know

772
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 4: what I'm saying, like I don't want to ever be married,

773
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,359
Speaker 4: that's never going to be a goal for me. Or

774
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 4: I want five more kids because I'm not giving you that,

775
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 4: or you know what I'm saying, like, don't put on

776
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,440
Speaker 4: the front, bro, don't lie about your life.

777
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to have to find out something different.

778
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:40,799
Speaker 1: About you later.

779
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 4: Just be like straight up, be straight up, be real,

780
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:49,800
Speaker 4: be authentic, and that's a liar is non negotiable.

781
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 3: Don't do that because once I find.

782
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 4: Out your lying, we've done period. So that's one. Uh

783
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:03,320
Speaker 4: let's see the status matter. No okay, no, no, no no.

784
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,520
Speaker 4: I want to be even leok with my partner, with

785
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:10,600
Speaker 4: my husband. I definitely do. And that doesn't mean just

786
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 4: status wise, that doesn't mean just financially.

787
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,640
Speaker 3: It means I mean, of course, in our beliefs, but.

788
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:24,240
Speaker 4: Like it, when you start raising kids together and stuff,

789
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 4: y'all got to make sure y'all on the same page.

790
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,680
Speaker 4: It's far more than having the same amount of money,

791
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 4: because that's gonna change one minute. I might have more

792
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 4: than some might fall through and then you got more.

793
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 4: You got to be able to go with the flow

794
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 4: on that. So as long as, of course, if the

795
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 4: respect is there, but as long as you guys.

796
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 1: Are working hard and working.

797
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 4: As a unit and on the same page, I think

798
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,279
Speaker 4: that that's what keeps everything.

799
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:57,880
Speaker 1: Even leoked.

800
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:06,720
Speaker 4: So you're asking a question, So no liars.

801
00:39:06,480 --> 00:39:10,839
Speaker 1: No liars? Oh how did I say this? What I say?

802
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:13,840
Speaker 1: Are you gonna stop not saying that? I know I

803
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: got no but I gotta, you know what, I gotta

804
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: be a bunch of girlfriends. I can't do it. Like

805
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 1: when when everybody says I've laid my lesson with that too, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

806
00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: everybody ain't sis nigga, did you fuck her? Right?

807
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,320
Speaker 4: Let's start there. That's my favorite. And it's not always

808
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 4: even that. It's really like she's laying.

809
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,600
Speaker 1: Low to until till you break up again. When women

810
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: do that like men that women men are bigger. I'm

811
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,960
Speaker 1: like brush, she waiting on her, She wait on her

812
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: turn right, let me be around her one time. I'm

813
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 1: gonna let you know exactly, meet a dinner.

814
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 4: If the pit of my stomach dropped. She ain't no friends,

815
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 4: if we can't, if she's she's in.

816
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 1: Wait, if she's giving that face, if she can't be

817
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,120
Speaker 1: around and what ex y'all gotta have your own hangout.

818
00:40:01,239 --> 00:40:02,960
Speaker 1: If I get a fake ass energy when I meet

819
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,440
Speaker 1: the bitch, it's not real and she has to go period.

820
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:06,720
Speaker 1: And I respect real.

821
00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 2: Friendships and I'm not with that like bias shit like.

822
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 2: But I can feel the energy because.

823
00:40:11,719 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: We're women, we're our intuition tells.

824
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,480
Speaker 4: Us, so you know we do period. I'm gonna say.

825
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 4: The other one is, I have children, So if you

826
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:29,080
Speaker 4: aren't good with kids or you don't have patience, because

827
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 4: that's going to be another one of mine too.

828
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:38,200
Speaker 1: But like you have to I don't want to say

829
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,520
Speaker 1: you have to at least have a love for children,

830
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, not that strong of love,

831
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 1: but I need you to have a love for children,

832
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 1: a very healthy love for children. That's what I'll say.

833
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,399
Speaker 4: And understand that. No, if we get married, they don't

834
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 4: come first. It's you, you know, once you come. And

835
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 4: I learned that, like if you said.

836
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 1: If you get married, you'll your husband will become a

837
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: priority and then the child.

838
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 4: The biblical order, right, so I try and go by

839
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 4: the biblical order, even though that's harder said than done,

840
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 4: and it's I've been on the other side of that,

841
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:20,959
Speaker 4: not happening twice, and it's it does interfere a little

842
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,359
Speaker 4: bit because you're like when you get married, right and

843
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,479
Speaker 4: you become someone's wife, and then there are other things

844
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,960
Speaker 4: that come before you, you feel it immediately, especially when

845
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,880
Speaker 4: you've been waiting to.

846
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 3: Be a wife and be first.

847
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 4: Or you know, feel like you know, desired in that position,

848
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 4: Like it can it can be, it can be a thing.

849
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 1: You can be a thing. And it's harder to say

850
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,799
Speaker 1: as a mom with two kids, because nothing should come

851
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 1: before your kids. Now, I don't I don't like, should

852
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,400
Speaker 1: you know right now? There's no should you know? Like

853
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,239
Speaker 1: everybody has what.

854
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,080
Speaker 2: Works for them, and like the Bible says this, and

855
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 2: this may work for this, and you can believe in

856
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 2: the Bible and then still feel this way. And like

857
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,279
Speaker 2: I think that people and I agree, I feel like,

858
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 2: you know, you come first, because I don't think you

859
00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 2: can pour it from an empty cup. But I also

860
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 2: feel like people are triggered by a woman saying that,

861
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 2: especially as we're talking, we're all women with children who

862
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:18,279
Speaker 2: are gonna be in relationships with men that are don't

863
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 2: come from those those children don't come from that marriage. Yeah,

864
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 2: so I think people will assume like, damn this, you know,

865
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 2: this woman's gonna put you know, a naked before.

866
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 1: Her kids or whatever.

867
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:32,160
Speaker 2: But it's it's interesting because if your house ain't right,

868
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 2: like you're not, you're not going to be happy.

869
00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 1: M hm. So I think that's there's there's truth in that.

870
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: And also i'd be feeling like, if you have the

871
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 1: right husband, am I really gonna have to choose? No,

872
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 1: You're going to our priorities together as a family as

873
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:47,319
Speaker 1: you are going to be the same, whether these are

874
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,800
Speaker 1: your come from your there are your kids if we're married,

875
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: A and B if they whether or not they come

876
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: from this relationship specifically or biologically. I think like, I

877
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,520
Speaker 1: don't even think there should be have to be some

878
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:02,800
Speaker 1: hierarchy there, because we know how does make our household foundations.

879
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 1: It's us. Are we good individually? Are we good together?

880
00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 2: Then let's pour into our kids and pour into the

881
00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:09,760
Speaker 2: other things. But I feel like people are so triggered

882
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 2: by that, and even like even women who say like

883
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 2: my kids are first or I'm first, I think I'm

884
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,799
Speaker 2: first is a big trigger for men. You know, I

885
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: saw some stupid shit on the internet like who gets

886
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 2: the who gets the plate first?

887
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: In the house. The kids are the man. I'm like,

888
00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: who makes it? This stupid ask questions, who's hungriest? I

889
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: made the dinner, Nigga, y'all make the plates. I don't.

890
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. I'm not like I done made chicken.

891
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: I'm eating. I'm fucking eating. That's who's eating, right.

892
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,720
Speaker 2: But it's like we in our minds we have these

893
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 2: like hierarchies of how we love and like, you know,

894
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: how we disperse our love. But everyone knows, aos women,

895
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,359
Speaker 2: it's eternal. We'd be loving so hard and so limitlessly.

896
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 2: There doesn't really even have to necessarily be this, you

897
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: know what I mean? But I do agree. I think

898
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 2: if your relationship is not tended to you know, women know.

899
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 1: But once the kids leave too, it's just gonna be y'all.

900
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 1: By the way.

901
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 4: So if you've given eighteen years to them and you

902
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 4: lose focus on him.

903
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: You're gonna be a ghost in the house, and he

904
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 1: might have another bitch on the side by the way,

905
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:08,440
Speaker 1: because you've been paying all your attention to the ones

906
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: that's gonna leave me in eighteen years and probably sometimes

907
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 1: before then.

908
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 3: I left the house at thirteen to go pursue my career.

909
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:18,200
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? So it it makes sense.

910
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,080
Speaker 4: It's hard to say what it does make when it

911
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 4: plays out, it makes sense?

912
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: Is that three? That's three? Okay? Cool? Oh? If he is.

913
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 4: Impatient with me and disrespectful, you get to cussing at

914
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 4: me and talking crazy. If I got to pull my

915
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 4: ignorant bitch out on you, you are not my nigga,

916
00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 4: no period.

917
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 1: You know what, I.

918
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,800
Speaker 4: Didn't even know ignorant bitch was in there, Like I

919
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,560
Speaker 4: would feel her kind of rising up sometimes like ahe

920
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:48,840
Speaker 4: we might have to. She was doing her shoulders shimming

921
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,960
Speaker 4: and I was like, bitch, shuttle down, don't.

922
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,879
Speaker 3: Even call for that, right what who's knocking at that door?

923
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 4: But if she got to show up, like show up,

924
00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 4: show up, and you almost lose yourself to her in

925
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 4: a relationship and she keeps, she keeps winning up, she

926
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:11,319
Speaker 4: keeps showing up, yep, then this ain't it because that's

927
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 4: not who I am.

928
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,799
Speaker 3: I'm a very grounded, peaceful, happy.

929
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 4: Love life, joy having, hugging, being patient, just spread. I'm

930
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:26,480
Speaker 4: a fucking care beer Okay yep. So when have you

931
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 4: seen when we do the rainbow? Like you know what

932
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 4: I'm saying ignibition should not have to show up in that,

933
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, if you bring if you

934
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 4: got to bring me out of that, if you really

935
00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 4: seriously have to bring me out of my peaceful space

936
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 4: that I've worked so hard to keep and protect, then

937
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:43,480
Speaker 4: that ain't it.

938
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: That ain't it? So M.

939
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,399
Speaker 3: Not going for that. That's that's probably number one.

940
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: I agree that respect shit and you know, and it's

941
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: like the car.

942
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:58,280
Speaker 4: You think it's the basic, you think it's the standard package,

943
00:45:58,360 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 4: but that shit is not you.

944
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 1: I'm just asking for the regular.

945
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 2: Can we just start and push with respect, like don't

946
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,000
Speaker 2: curse at me, Like don't ever call me out of

947
00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:10,440
Speaker 2: my name. There should be no reason that we need

948
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 2: to communicate and there should be a like derogatory term

949
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:14,400
Speaker 2: or like aggression.

950
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:15,799
Speaker 1: Are we on the same team?

951
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,319
Speaker 4: Or sometimes they don't even have to cuss with it them. No,

952
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,319
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's just like a little belittling statement, the belittlement.

953
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: You know what, it's a little bit of that passive aggressive,

954
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 1: it's a little bit of a few things telling you

955
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 1: it's them death by a thousand cuts.

956
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 2: But what it really is a lot of times is

957
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,400
Speaker 2: like that insecurity and then another person and how that

958
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 2: projects like sometimes insecure people will harm the people closest

959
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,120
Speaker 2: to them because it's most convenient.

960
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: No, no, that makes it way about that sexy, I'm

961
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,440
Speaker 1: about it, little dick energy. We don't want any of

962
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:52,080
Speaker 1: those God, please protect us. Amen, we don't want that.

963
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 4: Don't don't.

964
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 1: I just found out about a new app, which is

965
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 1: surprisingly the first of its kind. Nowadays, there's an app

966
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,560
Speaker 1: for just about anything, from identifying constellations in the sky

967
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:10,080
Speaker 1: to getting someone to help you hang up a picture

968
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:13,919
Speaker 1: on your wall. But up until now, single parents haven't

969
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: had a dating app specifically designed for them. Now they do,

970
00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 1: and it's called Stir. Oh my god, girl. Stir is

971
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 1: finally a place where I can feel normal as a

972
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,400
Speaker 1: parent who's dating. Stir is a place where single parents

973
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 1: can just be single. Stir is where you don't have

974
00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:35,040
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975
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,160
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976
00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:41,880
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977
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,240
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978
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979
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980
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981
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:01,280
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982
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Speaker 2: gifts every month and it keeps it so easy to

983
00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:05,240
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984
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:09,839
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985
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986
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998
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999
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1016
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Speaker 2: our episode description Happy Sexual Wellness.

1017
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 1: So you know what, I've had some big dicks that

1018
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: had little dick energy. Really Oh, actually me too. I

1019
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: won't even get to see in what size it is

1020
00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,680
Speaker 1: if you get to talk. Sometimes sometimes they present the

1021
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:22,799
Speaker 1: dick and then they present the talking to you crazy

1022
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:24,440
Speaker 1: because they know you're gonna be confused once you get

1023
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: the dick. Well, the day you confused and then they

1024
00:50:26,520 --> 00:50:28,759
Speaker 1: start talking to you crazy, so you're still confused and

1025
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: it takes a little bit of time to get out

1026
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:30,319
Speaker 1: of it.

1027
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,840
Speaker 4: And that's why I've learned you got to learn about

1028
00:50:32,880 --> 00:50:34,160
Speaker 4: the other before.

1029
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 1: You learn about fat. Yeah, then you won't be confused, true,

1030
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: because yes, the d can spin you out of control

1031
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:42,920
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh wait, no, I'm I'm in the

1032
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: vortext here.

1033
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:45,960
Speaker 4: And then you know, they get to talking to you

1034
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 4: crazy and you're like, oh, but the deed is good,

1035
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 4: but no, like I really want to get to know

1036
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 4: the person and see them. And someone said see them

1037
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 4: in at least twelve seasons before you make a decision.

1038
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:58,399
Speaker 1: Like winter, summer, see them. You know, do you think

1039
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,920
Speaker 1: in your dating life now would you abstain from sex before?

1040
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:03,959
Speaker 1: Probably for how long, like forever?

1041
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 3: I don't know because I'm.

1042
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:11,160
Speaker 1: All the seasons. I'm all the seasons. Sounds like three seasons.

1043
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,359
Speaker 1: We're talking as a few seasons. That's like a few

1044
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: times around. I'm travel want to see it travel. Maybe

1045
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: we can just travel to the seasons like in three months,

1046
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,400
Speaker 1: like we can go you know, we can get to somewhere,

1047
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,759
Speaker 1: we can get winter somewhere, we can go get spring fall.

1048
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 4: You know, like they said international seasons in like twelve

1049
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 4: times before making a decision.

1050
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: That's a long time. But what what if what if

1051
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,600
Speaker 1: you wait and then and then it is you see

1052
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:41,160
Speaker 1: the seasons and then the sexist trash. That's important too.

1053
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,399
Speaker 1: That's just life, that's just life. At that point, life

1054
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: is lifing. Life is lifing, bru. At that point, life

1055
00:51:49,560 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: is lifing.

1056
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 4: Okay, So what's going to be more important than like

1057
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,800
Speaker 4: if you really meet a super duper nice guy, super attractive,

1058
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 4: loves your kids, got the breads, taking you on the vacation,

1059
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 4: like patient with you, lifts you up. I mean all

1060
00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 4: these different things, like you are your best self with

1061
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 4: him with the d's trash.

1062
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 1: I would like to but he's trying, trying, Try, trying

1063
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: is big, Trying is big. I've had that, I've had

1064
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: all these things and then that some things are lacking.

1065
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 1: But for me, well it depends what you're not negotiable, Yeah,

1066
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:25,880
Speaker 1: Like my non negotiable is that, let there's sexual chemistry

1067
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 1: that even if the dick is not high on the

1068
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,319
Speaker 1: like the spectrum, are you working towards it is something

1069
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 1: that you want to do? Are we talking about it? Like?

1070
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,439
Speaker 2: Are we trying, you know, are there things like maybe

1071
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,719
Speaker 2: you just haven't tended to your sexuality. You haven't really

1072
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,400
Speaker 2: like poured into that part of yourself. And I need

1073
00:52:40,480 --> 00:52:42,400
Speaker 2: to bring you out of your cage. That's one thing.

1074
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,200
Speaker 2: But if it's just dead and not there and you

1075
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 2: have no like I can't do anything with this area,

1076
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 2: all those things really won't count. I need that, Like

1077
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,279
Speaker 2: that's a non negotiable for me because physical attraction and

1078
00:52:53,400 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 2: intimacy and touch and are very important to me.

1079
00:52:57,239 --> 00:52:58,399
Speaker 1: That kind of makes me tick.

1080
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: But like like we've all had a really nice guy

1081
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:05,319
Speaker 2: with all the really nice things and all those things,

1082
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,160
Speaker 2: and then like that one thing is lacking, and it's

1083
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 2: just I can't get over this thing.

1084
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 1: This is important.

1085
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:11,719
Speaker 2: I want to come home to my man and be like, yep,

1086
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,800
Speaker 2: it's time. Oh yeah, I'm home and I'm happy to

1087
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 2: see you. Just come to the door, like I gotta go, bitch,

1088
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 2: I gotta go. This looks good right now, you know,

1089
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 2: like that that, like primal attraction is important and a

1090
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 2: lot of things, like I think women downplay that a lot.

1091
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 2: Like he's so nice, George is such a nice man,

1092
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: and he took Katie to gymnastics, and like that's cool,

1093
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 2: but like, do you want to rip George's clothes off?

1094
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: You know, I need to be able to want to

1095
00:53:39,239 --> 00:53:40,640
Speaker 1: rip your clothes off. I want to do it.

1096
00:53:40,760 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 4: That is non negotiable for me, Like because I am

1097
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,160
Speaker 4: a touchy, philly person, I want to be cuddled.

1098
00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:46,839
Speaker 1: I want to be all the things, and I want

1099
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 1: to be reciprocated. I do like I do. I want.

1100
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 3: I want to I like the public.

1101
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:58,160
Speaker 1: I want yes, kiss me down like tongue, kiss me

1102
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,040
Speaker 1: for a long period of time and hold my hand,

1103
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:06,000
Speaker 1: let them know I am yours. Yes. Yes. I think

1104
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 1: men miss that a lot, Like I feel like women

1105
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,800
Speaker 1: really need that and thrive in that, and like we

1106
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: need that like oh you desire me type shit, and

1107
00:54:16,040 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: men forget that. You know, they're just like whatever the

1108
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: fuck they're doing over there. I don't know what they're

1109
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:22,319
Speaker 1: thinking about. But I want a man because I'm gonna

1110
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: do that for you.

1111
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:24,960
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I want to make you feel sexy and

1112
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,839
Speaker 2: I want to make us feel you know, like I'm

1113
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 2: gonna compliment you and when you're doing it to me,

1114
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 2: I'm going to reciprocate that, like damn.

1115
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: Me, like this, damn me, sexy. But if you're not

1116
00:54:33,360 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 1: telling me I'm sexy, I'm gonna forget. Yeah. I mean,

1117
00:54:36,200 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 1: I'm a words of affirmation type of lover, and I

1118
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: do need that in exchange. In ways, I don't need

1119
00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:46,919
Speaker 1: a lot of it. I more so need physical touch,

1120
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,200
Speaker 1: like how I love and how I want to receive

1121
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:53,080
Speaker 1: lover a little bit different. And I realized that recently

1122
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 1: when I was dating somebody like who's not a words

1123
00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: of affirmation. He's not really a big words of affirmation person.

1124
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 1: He's not a really like he's definitely like an act

1125
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,920
Speaker 1: of service type of lover, which is very important to

1126
00:55:04,960 --> 00:55:07,520
Speaker 1: me as well. But I was like, I need the

1127
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 1: affection I need. I need it and consistently called I

1128
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck, I need it.

1129
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:18,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I need Yeah a cancer, I need talk to me,

1130
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 4: come to me, talk to me and touch me.

1131
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, all day, talk and touch. That's what I'm It's

1132
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 1: a little a little boot grab. I'm cool. Oh thank you?

1133
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:26,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1134
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,880
Speaker 1: I think how many? What am I on? Three? I

1135
00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 1: think that's fine? That was fine when yeah, patients one

1136
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 1: and then cuddles, talk in.

1137
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:41,000
Speaker 4: Touch and I'm consistent communication like and I'm not talking

1138
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,440
Speaker 4: about you gotta call me five times a day, but

1139
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:45,560
Speaker 4: a good you know, give me some texting, give me

1140
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 4: some calling, and oh my gosh, in the beginning, this

1141
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 4: is why I said, I don't know if I'm dating.

1142
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 1: What's up with the new They don't get on the

1143
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 1: phone even to meet you, like.

1144
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:57,359
Speaker 3: If they met.

1145
00:55:57,360 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 4: I've had a situation where somebody induced us, like a

1146
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:04,440
Speaker 4: musual friend introduced us, and he texted me first, right,

1147
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,320
Speaker 4: and I said, hey, you know, like I'm old school

1148
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 4: when it comes to communication, call me any time.

1149
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 3: You never got the call. I kept getting the text.

1150
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:15,920
Speaker 4: Nor if you can't, if I can't even hear your voice, I.

1151
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: See, Well how about you don't listen? How about you

1152
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 1: don't listen? Yeah, but I told you what I need.

1153
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,760
Speaker 1: And this is this is red flag number one because

1154
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 1: I've done this too with a man where I've told

1155
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 1: this man at least three times and after three you

1156
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,719
Speaker 1: just are ignoring me. Really have to one or two?

1157
00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: But I gave you three times to let you know.

1158
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: I don't like texting because I'm the same LaToya. I

1159
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,359
Speaker 1: do not like the text. I don't try as fuck

1160
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 1: on text. People will tell me all the time. I'm like, well,

1161
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:44,680
Speaker 1: then call me or like come come over or are

1162
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 1: you taking that wrong?

1163
00:56:45,960 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 4: Well, if you would have heard me say it, then

1164
00:56:48,160 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 4: you wouldn't have taken it wrong. Like I can't really

1165
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 4: express myself through my fingers like that.

1166
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: I'm on my phone all day for work. I'm making

1167
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 1: captions and posts. You think I want to text you

1168
00:56:58,320 --> 00:57:00,560
Speaker 1: thank you. I don't want to text you. I want

1169
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,840
Speaker 1: to hear your voice. So if that, if that's what

1170
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: the the ghetto dayton Pool is about, this text and things.

1171
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 4: And I don't need to be out there like I

1172
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:10,359
Speaker 4: can't like and I'm not I'm not saying that I'm

1173
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 4: a needy broad as far as like, you know, needing

1174
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 4: someone to call me ten times a day and check.

1175
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:16,840
Speaker 3: In and do the whole thing.

1176
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 1: Again, it's the basic standard car. He hello again. It's

1177
00:57:20,920 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 1: it's like.

1178
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:23,560
Speaker 4: Everything that we thought was in the standard package is

1179
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 4: like now in the goal package of a car, Like

1180
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,880
Speaker 4: you have to like pay super extra to get this credit.

1181
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,000
Speaker 1: What do we do? Like, what's the payment? What's the

1182
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 1: payment plan? We already hello, we already look at us

1183
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 1: like what there is there's no plan. It's hello, it's

1184
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,880
Speaker 1: a down payment. It's this I'm just carrious man. What

1185
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 1: is the what is the what's the upgrade? What's the upgrade?

1186
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,800
Speaker 1: Is it a secret service? We don't know about. There's

1187
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 1: no secret service. They just need to go to therapy.

1188
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:54,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, but what changed Because I'm finding it in Olderman

1189
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 4: I'm finding it in forty fifty plus that they're texted

1190
00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 4: more than they're talking.

1191
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,920
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I think that's how you date older guy. Wait,

1192
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: I call you wait. I saw this clip on the

1193
00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: Internet and I was so annoyed. It was this man.

1194
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: He was he's a older man, so he's probably like

1195
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: I don't know how it was. He looked a little

1196
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: bit older, and he was like, yeah, you know. I

1197
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:14,280
Speaker 1: keep telling everyone like, well, you have to you have

1198
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 1: to just get with it. Basically, ninety percent of my

1199
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: interactions are on Instagram. If I'm talking to a woman,

1200
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: yes girl. He was like, all ninety percent of my

1201
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 1: interactions are on Instagram d ms and that's the that's

1202
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: that's the way the world is going, and people just

1203
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:31,560
Speaker 1: need to catch up. I was like, I hate you, right, ip,

1204
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 1: can you build on igre? The fact that this clip

1205
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:35,840
Speaker 1: even made it to the internet. I was pissed. I

1206
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 1: was like, why are we perpetuating this dumb ass message.

1207
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 2: There's a lot of toxic masculine I don't know how

1208
00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 2: you call it, fucking bullshit on the internet, like Kevin

1209
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: Samuels and he's like fifty and he also maybe I

1210
00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:49,720
Speaker 2: don't even know if he likes women, to be honest,

1211
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,720
Speaker 2: like I've been dying to see him, so I could

1212
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 2: be like, do you even really like bitches? But that's

1213
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:56,720
Speaker 2: a whole different conversation I'm not going to go into.

1214
00:58:56,840 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, it's hard out here.

1215
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 3: I'm confused.

1216
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm confused too, and a part of me is like,

1217
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 1: and this is no slight to.

1218
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 2: The LGBTQ plus community because I am included in that

1219
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 2: some days, But like do.

1220
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: You even like women? Sometimes I'm finding men and I'm like,

1221
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 1: do you even like women? Because and they might not.

1222
00:59:18,200 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 1: They might not. I think I just say that I'm

1223
00:59:20,120 --> 00:59:22,120
Speaker 1: cool with that too, Like, just I don't be here

1224
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: presenting yourself like a like a fucking eligible bachelor to

1225
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 1: my ass with a vagina, because this is not gonna work.

1226
00:59:29,320 --> 00:59:30,680
Speaker 1: Like I'm with you.

1227
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:33,920
Speaker 2: Like I want all the honesty and I'm gonna accept it.

1228
00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna accept you as you are. You might not

1229
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 2: be my nigga, but like, I very much give me options.

1230
00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: Oh you have other bitches? Who are they? Like? What

1231
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 1: are we looking at? Like? Thank you? How? Like? Are

1232
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:44,600
Speaker 1: they closes? Do you see them all the time? Why

1233
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: do you like her? Like?

1234
00:59:45,480 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 2: Why can't she let her go? She's doing some shit

1235
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,280
Speaker 2: that I can't do. I just want to know because

1236
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 2: I want to make the choice. But men don't give

1237
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:52,560
Speaker 2: women the choice.

1238
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,520
Speaker 4: But they're scared of the choice because like say, for instance,

1239
00:59:55,520 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 4: they love me, if you're too, if you feel.

1240
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,520
Speaker 1: Like you tell me something that's gonna make me go, Like,

1241
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:02,920
Speaker 1: all right, if there's a broad that you can't let go.

1242
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:04,560
Speaker 3: Of, I'm gonna make the decision for us.

1243
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I'm not included in this, so right, they

1244
01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 4: don't want you to make that decision, right, So they

1245
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 4: lie and it's like no, no, no, no, Like I

1246
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 4: would rather that because if now you're wasting my time

1247
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:16,720
Speaker 4: and now once I find out or now once I

1248
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:21,120
Speaker 4: see you know that she's not going away or whatever

1249
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 4: the case may be is, and I make a decision,

1250
01:00:23,760 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 4: you're not gonna like it, right, But bruh, at that point,

1251
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 4: you've made a decision in not letting her go.

1252
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:32,800
Speaker 1: Listen, they don't want equal rights for us. They don't

1253
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:35,000
Speaker 1: want to go right, They ain't got to You ain't

1254
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 1: got time. So listen, LaToya. We have a game on

1255
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:41,280
Speaker 1: our show boy that I like to play with our guests. Okay,

1256
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 1: now we've already had a lot of talks and we

1257
01:00:43,360 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 1: might have covered some of these things, but I just

1258
01:00:45,240 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 1: want to play so that we can get to know

1259
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:51,919
Speaker 1: you quickly. And it's just a fun game. It's fun.

1260
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:52,800
Speaker 1: It's called trigger.

1261
01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:54,439
Speaker 3: Oh boy, go good.

1262
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,400
Speaker 1: And basically I'm gonna say a word and you have

1263
01:00:57,480 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: to say you know how you feel about that, like

1264
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 1: the first thing that comes to mind. Don't overthink it.

1265
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 1: Love necessary? Marriage again, bad habits? What are they? You

1266
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 1: want a few? Just one time? Management girl, me to

1267
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:40,760
Speaker 1: lie to me about the time. Please? Could parenting? Working

1268
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:44,200
Speaker 1: on it? That's all you can do? Being a single

1269
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:58,920
Speaker 1: mom interesting, uh, tough at times. Spirituality necessary, religion necessary,

1270
01:02:00,120 --> 01:02:10,720
Speaker 1: most toxic trait yours mm hmmm mm hmm, given too

1271
01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: much grace, monogamy, Yeah, preferred, preferred prenup.

1272
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:27,480
Speaker 3: Oh for the next one.

1273
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:40,160
Speaker 1: YEA favorite R and B artist right now? Oh that's

1274
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 1: such a great question. But what would they be considered?

1275
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 3: Lucky day?

1276
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 1: I know you're going to say that I like that

1277
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 1: lucky whichy ship? Mhm, witchy ship? Which witchy? Witchy? Which

1278
01:02:52,720 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 1: is witchy witchy? Spells and manifestations magic? Okay? Scared of

1279
01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 1: the favorite sex position? Mm hmm. She having a visual

1280
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:15,720
Speaker 1: she doesn't watched, She just watched her sex tape in

1281
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:27,360
Speaker 1: her head. Oh, show on top pet peeve a liar,

1282
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 1: Destiny's child, iconic celebrity crush word. Dang Oh what is

1283
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:50,840
Speaker 1: fine as candy mean? What? Yeah? It's fine girl? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1284
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. It's like our second time talking about him

1285
01:03:55,160 --> 01:03:58,959
Speaker 1: on our shows. Taste. He's tall.

1286
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 4: I think I like his smile, and he just looks

1287
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 4: like a tree, like a healthy alpha, heavy on that healthy.

1288
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 1: Therapy, necessary masturbation necessary. It gets to regret. Mmmm.

1289
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:25,640
Speaker 3: That's a really good question.

1290
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,080
Speaker 4: That's a really good question because I will say this

1291
01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:34,480
Speaker 4: the thing that I probably could say, I regret.

1292
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 1: So much beauty came from it, so I don't regret it.

1293
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,760
Speaker 1: That's a hard one. So no regrets, then, no regrets, regrets,

1294
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:55,439
Speaker 1: no divorce, tough, happily ever after does happen?

1295
01:04:56,080 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 4: You think, I definitely even and if it's even, if

1296
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 4: it's ending with you being happily does it have.

1297
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:08,480
Speaker 1: To include somebody else? You know what I'm saying, Like, even.

1298
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 4: If it's just I see a happy A lot of

1299
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 4: happy old ass bitches run around, right, they ain't never

1300
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 4: been married and never had no kids, And it's just

1301
01:05:16,560 --> 01:05:17,720
Speaker 4: like what I'm looking.

1302
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:19,800
Speaker 1: I'm ninety five and I look forty eight because I

1303
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:21,520
Speaker 1: have to deal with none of that shit, no bullshit.

1304
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: I love that answer because I do think a lot

1305
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:26,280
Speaker 1: of times the happily ever after is always tied to

1306
01:05:26,520 --> 01:05:28,720
Speaker 1: another person, and it doesn't have to and it's never

1307
01:05:28,960 --> 01:05:32,360
Speaker 1: tied to just yourself. No, it's gonna be happily ever

1308
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:36,080
Speaker 1: after regardless. Well that's it. That's trigger.

1309
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 3: And when I say love, I meant to go back

1310
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:38,800
Speaker 3: to that.

1311
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 1: I want to say always always.

1312
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:44,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, because I think I said I don't know

1313
01:05:44,240 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 4: what I said, but I think it's when you said

1314
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 4: love always.

1315
01:05:48,120 --> 01:05:52,160
Speaker 1: I just want to shift quickly to you know, me

1316
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:55,000
Speaker 1: and Mi La have been doing good Moms for this

1317
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: is our fourth year. Oh congratulations, it's our fourth year.

1318
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 1: And one of the one of the things, obviously, I mean,

1319
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:07,120
Speaker 1: when we started this platform, we didn't really understand the

1320
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 1: community that we were going to be a part of

1321
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:15,080
Speaker 1: connecting and just also how our friendship would be so

1322
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 1: valuable to each other and I guess be a representation

1323
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 1: for other women as well, and understand how important sisterhood is,

1324
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:26,000
Speaker 1: right it is? And I think you know, doing the

1325
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:29,720
Speaker 1: retreats that we do. We do these retreats in Costa Rica.

1326
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:35,360
Speaker 1: We actually just announced our most recent one and this summer,

1327
01:06:35,520 --> 01:06:38,120
Speaker 1: y'all comes to the good vibratory. We still have spaces

1328
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 1: left investing yourself. But what I've learned is that sisterhood

1329
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:45,919
Speaker 1: it's something that like we have, but like it's very

1330
01:06:46,120 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 1: rare and that people, especially as we get older, it

1331
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: feels more daunting, Like how do I even make friends?

1332
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 1: How do I? Like, where do I start? I know that,

1333
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 1: you know, for me, And like when I was a

1334
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:03,880
Speaker 1: kid watching Destiny Child, that was like the representation of

1335
01:07:04,080 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 1: like sisterhood for real. Like I was like, oh my god,

1336
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of true for real, Like that's like one

1337
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:16,440
Speaker 1: of the image of like sisters. Yes, Like I was like,

1338
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:22,560
Speaker 1: y'all were so fucking fly and you're my favorite, I

1339
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 1: swear to god. I remember I was. I was actually

1340
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:28,960
Speaker 1: in Texas because my dad's from Texas. Cey Okay, see Danks.

1341
01:07:29,160 --> 01:07:32,360
Speaker 1: Yeah he's from Texas. Yeah, he's from Texas, Texas. And

1342
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 1: I remember watching your first music video and I was like,

1343
01:07:35,840 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 1: I want to be LaToya. I'm LaToya. I'm gonna be LaToya.

1344
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:40,800
Speaker 1: She got the she got the SaaS. I just like

1345
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:43,480
Speaker 1: felt like that's me, even like I was so young,

1346
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,840
Speaker 1: I just knew I was about to be sassy. But

1347
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,720
Speaker 1: I know that, like you know, that journey of like

1348
01:07:48,880 --> 01:07:51,320
Speaker 1: going on tour and like being in this environment with

1349
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:55,840
Speaker 1: your sisters and being young, and then the journey of

1350
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 1: like being adults and the journey of sisterhood is so

1351
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:03,600
Speaker 1: it's it's an evolution if you let it be. I

1352
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:05,440
Speaker 1: want to know, like, what is the greatest lesson you've

1353
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:08,400
Speaker 1: learned from that time in your life? And what would

1354
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:11,920
Speaker 1: you have told your younger self. Oh my gosh, so

1355
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:17,439
Speaker 1: many lessons. I think that.

1356
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 4: What I would have told my younger self was to

1357
01:08:21,479 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 4: not lose myself even being a team player in that situation,

1358
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:33,800
Speaker 4: that I still matter, you know, I still have a voice.

1359
01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,720
Speaker 4: And I think in that situation, I left out of

1360
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 4: that situation feeling like I didn't have a voice.

1361
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:41,600
Speaker 1: Like I was.

1362
01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:43,360
Speaker 4: It was hard for me to stand on my own,

1363
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 4: and I went into that situation so confident God as.

1364
01:08:49,080 --> 01:08:51,559
Speaker 1: Confident I felt it, I saw it. I was so confident.

1365
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 1: But sometimes with a lot of partnerships, we lose ourselves

1366
01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:00,720
Speaker 1: to become one, or we feel it's gonna make us

1367
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:05,200
Speaker 1: cohesive or you know, make the situation work out better, and.

1368
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:09,960
Speaker 3: You get so used to blending so that you.

1369
01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 4: So that you know everything is so seamless and cohesive,

1370
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 4: and you you the way you move. You can watch

1371
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:22,720
Speaker 4: when people do like the couple's figure skating or the

1372
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 4: you know, it's like you're supporting the greater good you

1373
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:29,519
Speaker 4: are and you have to almost lose yourself to be

1374
01:09:29,680 --> 01:09:32,519
Speaker 4: this one thing, you know what I mean. And so

1375
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 4: with DC, my role was like the soprano or whatever.

1376
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,479
Speaker 4: So coming out of DC, that's the only thing that

1377
01:09:40,560 --> 01:09:43,799
Speaker 4: I thought I could sing, you know what I mean.

1378
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:45,879
Speaker 1: And put this label on you. You felt like labeled

1379
01:09:46,120 --> 01:09:48,040
Speaker 1: I did, and you.

1380
01:09:48,080 --> 01:09:50,320
Speaker 4: Know that I couldn't sing lead because that was someone

1381
01:09:50,360 --> 01:09:54,240
Speaker 4: else's role when I came in. You know, as a kid,

1382
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:56,880
Speaker 4: I used to lead all the songs in church or

1383
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I was even in like

1384
01:09:59,840 --> 01:10:02,760
Speaker 4: a the neighborhood girls group before I got into DC

1385
01:10:03,040 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 4: and I was singing lead.

1386
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:06,360
Speaker 3: Then I did not feel like I could sing lead

1387
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:07,320
Speaker 3: when I came out of DC.

1388
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:11,160
Speaker 4: But that's because for so long I felt like I

1389
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 4: had sacrificed myself for the greater good, which was, you know,

1390
01:10:15,600 --> 01:10:18,240
Speaker 4: my role that I played in DC, and I am

1391
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 4: grateful that I was given the opportunity to play that

1392
01:10:20,880 --> 01:10:23,800
Speaker 4: role and sometimes First of all, I think that that's

1393
01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:25,960
Speaker 4: what made us so great is everyone played their role

1394
01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 4: so well, you know what I mean.

1395
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:29,920
Speaker 3: So it worked out for the group, but I.

1396
01:10:29,960 --> 01:10:34,200
Speaker 1: Think individually it did something to my confidence. Especially.

1397
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:35,960
Speaker 3: I mean, you were so young, I was so young.

1398
01:10:36,760 --> 01:10:38,600
Speaker 4: So I think that that would be the one thing

1399
01:10:38,680 --> 01:10:41,720
Speaker 4: that I would tell my younger self is don't lose yourself, baby.

1400
01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:45,680
Speaker 4: You still matter, you know, still remain confident in who

1401
01:10:46,280 --> 01:10:48,519
Speaker 4: God created you to be, in the gift that He

1402
01:10:48,640 --> 01:10:51,280
Speaker 4: gave you, and it doesn't you don't have to shrink

1403
01:10:51,320 --> 01:10:56,400
Speaker 4: yourself to be good at your role. And so that

1404
01:10:56,479 --> 01:10:58,920
Speaker 4: would be the one thing that I would tell myself.

1405
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,800
Speaker 4: I learned so much from that situation, and gratefully we're

1406
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:04,760
Speaker 4: all still really cool and love each other.

1407
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:10,479
Speaker 3: I just start to kill today, and it's beautiful that after.

1408
01:11:10,400 --> 01:11:11,200
Speaker 1: So many years.

1409
01:11:11,640 --> 01:11:14,360
Speaker 3: The love is still there through everything that we've been through.

1410
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,960
Speaker 1: People can assume that we hate each other and it

1411
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:19,639
Speaker 1: didn't work out and blah blah blah.

1412
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:23,640
Speaker 4: But we were friends first. I'm at being school like

1413
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,160
Speaker 4: that was. We was in elementary school together, you know

1414
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:30,599
Speaker 4: what I mean. And our commonalities is what brought us together.

1415
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,600
Speaker 4: Our bonding over music are all these different things is

1416
01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:34,479
Speaker 4: what brought us together.

1417
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,000
Speaker 1: And I don't think that ever changed.

1418
01:11:36,400 --> 01:11:38,679
Speaker 4: It's just a shame that, like, you know, when business

1419
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:42,720
Speaker 4: gets involved, things happen, and we were too young to

1420
01:11:43,000 --> 01:11:45,200
Speaker 4: understand the business and what was happening.

1421
01:11:45,720 --> 01:11:48,479
Speaker 1: Of course. Yeah, I would imagine being like fifteen sixteen,

1422
01:11:48,840 --> 01:11:51,920
Speaker 1: having so many adults with you know, just with so

1423
01:11:52,360 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 1: being impressionable, having altered aterior motives and just lies and

1424
01:11:57,439 --> 01:12:00,200
Speaker 1: not being able to know, like have discernment. Yeah, as

1425
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:02,680
Speaker 1: you're still learning yourself, you're still learning your body, you're

1426
01:12:02,720 --> 01:12:05,000
Speaker 1: still learning so many things. You just started your period

1427
01:12:05,040 --> 01:12:06,600
Speaker 1: on the route. I don't know if that happened, but

1428
01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:11,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, I just imagine, yeah, but it's that's that's

1429
01:12:11,479 --> 01:12:12,759
Speaker 1: all real, that's all truth.

1430
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:16,880
Speaker 3: But I learned you're right, I learned about sisterhood through

1431
01:12:17,320 --> 01:12:18,320
Speaker 3: being in DC, like.

1432
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:23,000
Speaker 4: We had a bond like no other, Like we were

1433
01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:25,800
Speaker 4: each other's best friends, we were each other's sisters, like

1434
01:12:25,880 --> 01:12:29,639
Speaker 4: for real, we knew everything about one another.

1435
01:12:29,920 --> 01:12:32,679
Speaker 3: There was it was just so much love there.

1436
01:12:33,400 --> 01:12:37,040
Speaker 4: It was so much love there, and I felt like,

1437
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:41,000
Speaker 4: you know, moving forward from that after that, the friendships

1438
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:44,040
Speaker 4: that you know, God blessed me with. That's what I've

1439
01:12:44,080 --> 01:12:50,040
Speaker 4: had is true love. A real tribe of sisters who

1440
01:12:52,080 --> 01:12:54,640
Speaker 4: loved me with all of my flaws. Who I can

1441
01:12:54,720 --> 01:12:56,840
Speaker 4: call and say, I'm having a real fucked up day

1442
01:12:57,320 --> 01:12:59,479
Speaker 4: and it ain't make it better or tell me the

1443
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:01,280
Speaker 4: truth about myself, but you fucked up.

1444
01:13:02,360 --> 01:13:05,000
Speaker 1: I need all that. Someone who's gonna love my kids

1445
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:08,240
Speaker 1: and be there from my kids sometimes even better than

1446
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:10,880
Speaker 1: I would. Someone that shows up for me I have.

1447
01:13:11,200 --> 01:13:14,920
Speaker 3: I have that, and I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed.

1448
01:13:14,960 --> 01:13:17,920
Speaker 4: And now I'm realizing that there are so many, unfortunately

1449
01:13:18,000 --> 01:13:18,920
Speaker 4: women that don't have that.

1450
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:25,360
Speaker 1: Yes, there are, there are. It is, it's it's it's

1451
01:13:25,439 --> 01:13:30,040
Speaker 1: a it's I started. We started this podcast because I

1452
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:33,840
Speaker 1: felt alone and we felt alone. And now that we

1453
01:13:34,080 --> 01:13:36,560
Speaker 1: have each other and we've built this community and like

1454
01:13:36,680 --> 01:13:39,880
Speaker 1: have so many friends within the good Mom's tribe. Like

1455
01:13:40,920 --> 01:13:42,600
Speaker 1: we get hit up all the time about like I

1456
01:13:42,640 --> 01:13:45,479
Speaker 1: don't have a tribe. I live here, I've relocated here,

1457
01:13:45,520 --> 01:13:47,639
Speaker 1: I don't have any friends here. How do I make friends?

1458
01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:52,280
Speaker 1: LA is hard for that it's la adulthood, you know,

1459
01:13:52,479 --> 01:13:55,799
Speaker 1: But a lot of times it really it does take effort,

1460
01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:58,479
Speaker 1: and it's an effort that like feels uncomfortable. It's an

1461
01:13:58,560 --> 01:14:06,320
Speaker 1: effort that feel almost like not organic. And it's hard

1462
01:14:06,360 --> 01:14:08,280
Speaker 1: for you to trust out here too, is it's very

1463
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:11,360
Speaker 1: hard for to trust women. There's a lot of there's

1464
01:14:11,360 --> 01:14:15,639
Speaker 1: a lot. Yeah, it's very difficult. And you know, I'm

1465
01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:18,400
Speaker 1: grateful that you know, I have Jamila, but I'm also

1466
01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:21,839
Speaker 1: grateful that we've created this platform so that people can connect.

1467
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:24,519
Speaker 1: And if you guys are listening and you feel you

1468
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:27,600
Speaker 1: relate to this, please come to the retreat because we

1469
01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:29,719
Speaker 1: have so many women that came to our last retreat

1470
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:33,840
Speaker 1: that are real friends after leaving the jungles of Costa Rica.

1471
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:35,479
Speaker 1: Now you don't got to go to the jungles to

1472
01:14:35,560 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 1: make friends, right, but sometimes you got to get out

1473
01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:41,120
Speaker 1: of your element. You got to get out of your element,

1474
01:14:41,280 --> 01:14:45,439
Speaker 1: out of your way to surrender to the possibility of

1475
01:14:45,560 --> 01:14:49,400
Speaker 1: the unknown and trusting women is part of that. I

1476
01:14:49,439 --> 01:14:51,400
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of us we do not trust

1477
01:14:51,439 --> 01:14:53,560
Speaker 1: one another. I've been there before where I've been like,

1478
01:14:53,600 --> 01:14:56,479
Speaker 1: I don't trust that bitch, And there are some bitches

1479
01:14:56,520 --> 01:15:00,599
Speaker 1: I don't trust for sure, there's some untrustworthy bitches. There's

1480
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:05,160
Speaker 1: also untrustworthy men. Like it goes both ways. But I

1481
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:09,560
Speaker 1: think that when we come together, and like the sisterhood

1482
01:15:09,600 --> 01:15:14,439
Speaker 1: comes together, it's so powerful, it's so beautiful. And like

1483
01:15:14,520 --> 01:15:18,240
Speaker 1: when I watched You Girl and Destiny's Child and I

1484
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:21,360
Speaker 1: saw the sisterhood, I was like, Yo, I'm gonna start

1485
01:15:21,360 --> 01:15:24,439
Speaker 1: my own Destiny Child because I mean not anymore. I

1486
01:15:24,479 --> 01:15:26,880
Speaker 1: don't know I singing careers. No, it didn't happen, but

1487
01:15:29,479 --> 01:15:33,000
Speaker 1: but but it was inspiring. And I think, like especially

1488
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:36,080
Speaker 1: teaching our daughters, our young girls, like how important it

1489
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 1: is for your female, like your female connections, those bonds

1490
01:15:40,520 --> 01:15:43,400
Speaker 1: and pouring into them like you would pour into your relationship,

1491
01:15:43,760 --> 01:15:47,519
Speaker 1: pour into your husband, pour into your girlfriends, pour into

1492
01:15:47,600 --> 01:15:50,360
Speaker 1: them just like you would pour into those relationships. Because

1493
01:15:51,160 --> 01:15:56,880
Speaker 1: it's when you do, like, it's powerful, and it's just

1494
01:15:57,000 --> 01:16:00,360
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I feel like we

1495
01:16:00,520 --> 01:16:06,240
Speaker 1: often reserve that type of love for the art intimate partners.

1496
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:08,479
Speaker 1: But me and me will always talk about our platonic

1497
01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:13,840
Speaker 1: love and like our platonic marriage and this is.

1498
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:16,280
Speaker 4: A marriage, Yeah, this is a marriage, is a partnership,

1499
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,479
Speaker 4: it's the same thing. Yeah, I think that we have

1500
01:16:19,640 --> 01:16:21,960
Speaker 4: one way of looking at it sometimes and that's not.

1501
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:23,439
Speaker 1: Always the best way.

1502
01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:27,080
Speaker 4: Like, you guys have a beautiful marriage, and when you

1503
01:16:27,200 --> 01:16:30,040
Speaker 4: guys decided to create this partnership, you have like a

1504
01:16:30,160 --> 01:16:31,120
Speaker 4: covenant with each other.

1505
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,280
Speaker 1: And what's crazy is I feel you will remain more

1506
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:36,320
Speaker 1: faithful to this relationship.

1507
01:16:35,840 --> 01:16:38,520
Speaker 4: Than a lot of people will in their love relationships

1508
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:42,360
Speaker 4: because you know, you have that grace with each other.

1509
01:16:42,479 --> 01:16:44,880
Speaker 1: You see each other, you appreciate each other.

1510
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:47,880
Speaker 4: I've heard the whole beginning of the segment about how

1511
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 4: you guys go on and sit in the car and talk,

1512
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:52,960
Speaker 4: and we do that with our girlfriends. But this is

1513
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:55,719
Speaker 4: that this is the thing that a lot of people

1514
01:16:55,800 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 4: wish they had in their relationships, their love relationship, but.

1515
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:03,160
Speaker 2: This is But yeah, this has taught me a lot too,

1516
01:17:03,520 --> 01:17:06,320
Speaker 2: Like this, I feel like this relationship and partnership is

1517
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:10,240
Speaker 2: going to like contribute to my husband, Like when he comes,

1518
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:13,200
Speaker 2: I'll have like this has given me better tools to

1519
01:17:13,280 --> 01:17:15,599
Speaker 2: be able to be like, Okay, this made me feel insecure,

1520
01:17:15,760 --> 01:17:18,400
Speaker 2: like like even just talking every day, Like I mean

1521
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:22,240
Speaker 2: obviously we talk every day, but like just having a

1522
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:26,040
Speaker 2: platform or we talk every week, and I've become not

1523
01:17:26,200 --> 01:17:30,679
Speaker 2: all the way, but more comfortable with just being super

1524
01:17:30,760 --> 01:17:33,240
Speaker 2: transparent and honest even if it doesn't support me. One

1525
01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:34,800
Speaker 2: of the things we said in the car was like

1526
01:17:36,520 --> 01:17:38,680
Speaker 2: talking about our insecurities and our fears, and I was like,

1527
01:17:38,880 --> 01:17:40,840
Speaker 2: I would never say this to anybody else, but like

1528
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,639
Speaker 2: I'm scared if or if you say this that. She's

1529
01:17:43,680 --> 01:17:46,200
Speaker 2: like yeah, because it's just really frowned down.

1530
01:17:46,120 --> 01:17:48,599
Speaker 1: On to be a hater. Well, we were talking about

1531
01:17:48,640 --> 01:17:51,320
Speaker 1: like what insecurities we have with one another, Like hey,

1532
01:17:51,520 --> 01:17:54,800
Speaker 1: like when you like this isn't a popular statement and

1533
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:57,920
Speaker 1: this is honestly, this isn't insecurity, I'm gonna share like

1534
01:17:58,479 --> 01:18:00,640
Speaker 1: like there's been times where Jamila is like killing it,

1535
01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:02,920
Speaker 1: like she's like going off and she's speaking something, She's

1536
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:05,640
Speaker 1: speaking about something so eloquently, and I'm like, damn, like

1537
01:18:05,760 --> 01:18:09,000
Speaker 1: is she smarter than me? Like fuck? Like like damn,

1538
01:18:09,160 --> 01:18:12,080
Speaker 1: Like I felt insecure, like and then she shared that

1539
01:18:12,200 --> 01:18:13,400
Speaker 1: I was like I was like I think I'm ready

1540
01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:14,800
Speaker 1: to get back into acting, and she was like, oh

1541
01:18:14,840 --> 01:18:16,559
Speaker 1: my god, is she gonna leave me? Like these are

1542
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:19,479
Speaker 1: things that like, as friends, like you feel like you

1543
01:18:19,560 --> 01:18:21,720
Speaker 1: can't share because it makes you a hater or it

1544
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:24,160
Speaker 1: makes you feel like it makes you feel like, oh

1545
01:18:24,240 --> 01:18:27,040
Speaker 1: my god, this is so weak of me to feel like,

1546
01:18:27,080 --> 01:18:28,599
Speaker 1: how dare I? How could I ever feel this way

1547
01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:31,360
Speaker 1: about someone I love, you know, but it's like we're human,

1548
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:33,559
Speaker 1: We're human. And then when I said it to her,

1549
01:18:33,600 --> 01:18:34,640
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I'm so glad I

1550
01:18:34,680 --> 01:18:36,920
Speaker 1: said this shit because now you're like, I don't even

1551
01:18:36,960 --> 01:18:39,000
Speaker 1: know why. She was like, because it's not popular to

1552
01:18:39,080 --> 01:18:40,920
Speaker 1: be a hater. I'm like, I don't I love you.

1553
01:18:41,240 --> 01:18:45,280
Speaker 1: I don't know why I feel this way. It's stupid.

1554
01:18:45,960 --> 01:18:47,519
Speaker 2: But you know, like even in the time of like

1555
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:50,280
Speaker 2: social media and LaToya, you probably dealt with this much earlier,

1556
01:18:50,439 --> 01:18:51,160
Speaker 2: like because you.

1557
01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:54,840
Speaker 1: Were in a public forum very early on, well, social

1558
01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:55,719
Speaker 1: media was not around.

1559
01:18:56,200 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 2: God, thank god, you've dealt with public like just just

1560
01:19:02,120 --> 01:19:05,760
Speaker 2: public judgment and being in spaces with other women that

1561
01:19:05,800 --> 01:19:07,800
Speaker 2: you're close to and being on a platform with other

1562
01:19:07,840 --> 01:19:10,160
Speaker 2: women that you're close to that you love and still

1563
01:19:10,240 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 2: I'm probably I'm probably sure, like feeling insecurities and feeling

1564
01:19:14,600 --> 01:19:19,040
Speaker 2: ways that humans feel that come up, like jealousy, like triggers,

1565
01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:21,960
Speaker 2: like all these things insecurities, you know, and if you

1566
01:19:22,040 --> 01:19:24,280
Speaker 2: don't work on them and check check them and like

1567
01:19:24,400 --> 01:19:26,759
Speaker 2: have conversations about them, or you don't even feel comfortable

1568
01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:29,400
Speaker 2: enough to do that, you'll you'll, like all those things

1569
01:19:29,439 --> 01:19:30,080
Speaker 2: will build up.

1570
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:30,560
Speaker 1: Inside of you.

1571
01:19:30,720 --> 01:19:33,360
Speaker 2: But like being in a space with other women that

1572
01:19:33,479 --> 01:19:35,600
Speaker 2: you love on a on a you know, a platform,

1573
01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:38,200
Speaker 2: and people can, you know, make judgments and pick at

1574
01:19:38,240 --> 01:19:40,240
Speaker 2: you and say whatever the fuck people say because people

1575
01:19:40,240 --> 01:19:40,760
Speaker 2: are bored and.

1576
01:19:40,760 --> 01:19:43,040
Speaker 1: Don't know what the fuck they're talking about. But it's

1577
01:19:43,080 --> 01:19:47,040
Speaker 1: probably prepared you a lot to be able to function

1578
01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:50,160
Speaker 1: in this new world where everything is public and people

1579
01:19:50,439 --> 01:19:52,479
Speaker 1: can see at a restaurant be like, oh, she's dating

1580
01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:55,479
Speaker 1: this person, or she's she has beef with this person,

1581
01:19:55,520 --> 01:19:57,840
Speaker 1: and be like, well, damn, Like this is my sister

1582
01:19:57,920 --> 01:19:59,560
Speaker 1: and I love her and I don't need to.

1583
01:20:00,160 --> 01:20:03,200
Speaker 2: You've probably had a lot of tools to combat other

1584
01:20:03,439 --> 01:20:07,400
Speaker 2: outside criticism, whereas I feel like I'm learning that now,

1585
01:20:08,439 --> 01:20:11,360
Speaker 2: and social media in ways has helped and also hurt.

1586
01:20:11,560 --> 01:20:14,240
Speaker 2: But thank god, I have a friendship and a sister

1587
01:20:14,360 --> 01:20:17,400
Speaker 2: that I can like really have these conversations with and

1588
01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:18,439
Speaker 2: be like, am I crazy?

1589
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:20,200
Speaker 1: Like why do I feel like you're gonna leave me?

1590
01:20:20,240 --> 01:20:22,360
Speaker 1: Like you're my nigga and I'm going to be alone

1591
01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:23,880
Speaker 1: and miserable and like I'm.

1592
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:25,880
Speaker 2: Not going to succeed without you, you know, Like it's

1593
01:20:25,960 --> 01:20:28,519
Speaker 2: just even in a relationship, like we've built something together

1594
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:30,880
Speaker 2: and there's fear like oh, you'll meet someone else and

1595
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:35,000
Speaker 2: leave me, but really loving yourself enough and understanding your

1596
01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:38,280
Speaker 2: power enough, like no one's going to leave me and

1597
01:20:38,280 --> 01:20:41,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna fucking melt and die like it doesn't exist

1598
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:44,000
Speaker 2: that way, And in fact, these are normal feelings and

1599
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:46,320
Speaker 2: we should express them and we should get used to

1600
01:20:46,439 --> 01:20:49,360
Speaker 2: talking about it because that's how we like work past

1601
01:20:49,439 --> 01:20:51,719
Speaker 2: the insecurities that are not real and like the negative

1602
01:20:51,760 --> 01:20:54,360
Speaker 2: self talk that we all inevitably have.

1603
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:56,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think a lot of times too, like

1604
01:20:57,400 --> 01:21:01,120
Speaker 1: it's the journey to whatever the goal is. If I'm if,

1605
01:21:01,240 --> 01:21:04,720
Speaker 1: I nine times out of ten, I usually do feel like,

1606
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:07,080
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love that for you. That's amazing,

1607
01:21:07,160 --> 01:21:10,600
Speaker 1: You're amazing, But like I'm human, and I feel like

1608
01:21:10,720 --> 01:21:12,560
Speaker 1: every human, like it doesn't make me less of a

1609
01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:15,400
Speaker 1: friend or less of a person if I feel and

1610
01:21:15,880 --> 01:21:18,760
Speaker 1: insecure about my friend in some way and I feel like,

1611
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:21,080
Speaker 1: like I said, this is not a popular thing to say,

1612
01:21:21,360 --> 01:21:24,479
Speaker 1: especially in sisterhood, right. You know, it's like, well, I

1613
01:21:24,520 --> 01:21:26,840
Speaker 1: thought I thought that was your sister, Like, oh, she's

1614
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:29,160
Speaker 1: not your sister. Oh my god, you're jealous of your sister.

1615
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:31,360
Speaker 1: Can't be your sister. It's like, no, bitch, it's a

1616
01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:34,759
Speaker 1: journey and we're all working towards it exactly.

1617
01:21:35,120 --> 01:21:37,280
Speaker 4: And but the beauty is you, guys, And what we

1618
01:21:37,439 --> 01:21:41,080
Speaker 4: don't do in some of our other relationships is you

1619
01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:45,280
Speaker 4: guys communicated. This is how I genuinely feel, and she

1620
01:21:46,479 --> 01:21:49,240
Speaker 4: still loved you through it, you know what I mean? Like,

1621
01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:52,120
Speaker 4: I think that there's so much fear. We operate in

1622
01:21:52,240 --> 01:21:54,680
Speaker 4: so much fear, and I love relationships, and that's what

1623
01:21:54,920 --> 01:21:55,280
Speaker 4: kills it?

1624
01:21:55,360 --> 01:21:56,720
Speaker 1: Did You know what I mean?

1625
01:21:56,880 --> 01:22:02,560
Speaker 4: It should You shouldn't fear being honest or transparent with

1626
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:05,519
Speaker 4: someone that you love, you know what I mean? And

1627
01:22:05,640 --> 01:22:08,320
Speaker 4: what doesn't matter what kind of friendship if the love

1628
01:22:08,439 --> 01:22:09,960
Speaker 4: is there, what is love patient and kind?

1629
01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:11,400
Speaker 1: You know what I mean?

1630
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:15,519
Speaker 4: I'm going to be understanding of whatever it is you

1631
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,559
Speaker 4: just told me I'm gonna be patient with you. I'm

1632
01:22:18,600 --> 01:22:20,640
Speaker 4: gonna love you through it. I'm gonna be kind with

1633
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,200
Speaker 4: my words. I'm going to understand that this is a

1634
01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:25,000
Speaker 4: very sensitive issue with you.

1635
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:28,439
Speaker 3: Like what's so hard about that?

1636
01:22:28,760 --> 01:22:30,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy, Like, hey, I'm human? Is that is

1637
01:22:31,000 --> 01:22:33,360
Speaker 1: that cool with you? Yeah? And hey, I told you

1638
01:22:33,600 --> 01:22:36,160
Speaker 1: you probably felt the love and the release. I was like,

1639
01:22:36,280 --> 01:22:38,960
Speaker 1: think you exactly. I'm like, I don't even know why

1640
01:22:39,000 --> 01:22:42,479
Speaker 1: I'm having these feelings. It's so stupid, right, and it's so.

1641
01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:45,160
Speaker 4: Crazy because when you are in like your your love

1642
01:22:45,240 --> 01:22:47,760
Speaker 4: relationships and you guys do have those moments, that's when

1643
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:50,080
Speaker 4: you have the best sex, right, Yeah, because you had

1644
01:22:50,120 --> 01:22:52,880
Speaker 4: a release. So I'm like, let's have more sex, let's

1645
01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:54,760
Speaker 4: have more moments like this, or if we can be

1646
01:22:54,920 --> 01:22:56,960
Speaker 4: honest and transparent and say.

1647
01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:58,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know like what I do leave, I do

1648
01:22:58,840 --> 01:23:00,240
Speaker 1: want to call you ten times because I want to

1649
01:23:00,240 --> 01:23:01,360
Speaker 1: know where the fuck you are all the time.

1650
01:23:01,439 --> 01:23:02,840
Speaker 3: But I'm not gonna do that because it can maybe

1651
01:23:02,880 --> 01:23:03,320
Speaker 3: seem great.

1652
01:23:04,120 --> 01:23:04,800
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that.

1653
01:23:05,240 --> 01:23:08,120
Speaker 3: So which I would never do that, say that I'm

1654
01:23:08,160 --> 01:23:08,559
Speaker 3: that person.

1655
01:23:08,680 --> 01:23:12,000
Speaker 4: I am just saying that when you have those notice

1656
01:23:12,040 --> 01:23:15,960
Speaker 4: that when you do have those conversations, you guys get

1657
01:23:16,040 --> 01:23:18,880
Speaker 4: stronger and stronger, your connection gets stronger and stronger. So

1658
01:23:19,000 --> 01:23:21,680
Speaker 4: why not want more of that in your relationships? We

1659
01:23:21,840 --> 01:23:24,880
Speaker 4: have it in our girl you know, our girly relationships,

1660
01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:26,280
Speaker 4: but we don't have that in.

1661
01:23:26,360 --> 01:23:33,040
Speaker 1: Our well o girl, girl, god, god, you know your

1662
01:23:33,080 --> 01:23:37,560
Speaker 1: relationshipate romantic relationships. I think more of that is necessary

1663
01:23:38,120 --> 01:23:40,519
Speaker 1: for sure. I feel like I used to offer more

1664
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:42,760
Speaker 1: grace for men, and now I don't. I offer so

1665
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:45,400
Speaker 1: much grace for my girlfriends, whereas now I've given, like

1666
01:23:45,439 --> 01:23:47,800
Speaker 1: I have these amazing friendships and now it's time to

1667
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:51,439
Speaker 1: like I'm ready to like offer more grace to men.

1668
01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:54,960
Speaker 1: And like Jimia Lesband, she's like my practice relationship hilarious.

1669
01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:58,439
Speaker 1: There's there's things that I like, like for like sharing

1670
01:23:58,479 --> 01:24:01,000
Speaker 1: those type of things that like maybe i'd be now

1671
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:03,240
Speaker 1: as I've been single for five years, almost like I

1672
01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:05,960
Speaker 1: would be. I'm nervous to share with a man, you know,

1673
01:24:06,680 --> 01:24:08,439
Speaker 1: And so I don't know. I just feel like for

1674
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:12,320
Speaker 1: those listening practice on your friends, practice love with your friends.

1675
01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:14,960
Speaker 1: Pour into your friends like you pour into your relationship.

1676
01:24:15,160 --> 01:24:17,439
Speaker 1: If you pour into your relation, if you pour into

1677
01:24:17,439 --> 01:24:20,559
Speaker 1: a relationship with your friends, then practice with your give

1678
01:24:20,600 --> 01:24:22,720
Speaker 1: your your nigga the same grace you would give your

1679
01:24:22,720 --> 01:24:26,240
Speaker 1: girlfriend and vice versa, because they are all relationships. They

1680
01:24:26,240 --> 01:24:30,599
Speaker 1: should all be in acts of love and there shouldn't

1681
01:24:30,640 --> 01:24:33,880
Speaker 1: be this big difference in what it is besides the

1682
01:24:33,960 --> 01:24:37,000
Speaker 1: fact that like you're sleeping together or not. You know,

1683
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:41,000
Speaker 1: really it's all about love and friendship and like respect,

1684
01:24:41,160 --> 01:24:44,720
Speaker 1: like do like yeah, like it's so simple, but we

1685
01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:47,799
Speaker 1: make it so hard. It could all be so simple

1686
01:24:48,439 --> 01:24:49,320
Speaker 1: just operating that.

1687
01:24:50,960 --> 01:24:53,519
Speaker 2: It's true, Like even in the relationship that I have

1688
01:24:53,640 --> 01:24:56,680
Speaker 2: right now, that's that's open. It's not monogamous, but like

1689
01:24:57,040 --> 01:25:00,439
Speaker 2: I am free to exist as I am, to come

1690
01:25:00,479 --> 01:25:02,400
Speaker 2: as I am. I'm free to be like I'm jealous,

1691
01:25:03,800 --> 01:25:06,439
Speaker 2: I'm insecure about that, and then mark through it. I'm like, Okay,

1692
01:25:06,560 --> 01:25:07,840
Speaker 2: maybe I don't need to, maybe I don't need to

1693
01:25:07,840 --> 01:25:09,760
Speaker 2: say that, or maybe I don't have a reason to.

1694
01:25:09,880 --> 01:25:13,320
Speaker 2: And even just practicing, like this bitch loves me, this

1695
01:25:13,439 --> 01:25:15,599
Speaker 2: person loves me and respects me, and I don't really

1696
01:25:15,840 --> 01:25:18,600
Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of losing them, Like because I know

1697
01:25:18,680 --> 01:25:21,799
Speaker 2: who this person is and I know that it's mutual,

1698
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:23,240
Speaker 2: there's really no fear.

1699
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:27,960
Speaker 1: Like things can shift relationships can shift. People shift. I'm

1700
01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:29,960
Speaker 1: not the same bitch I was in January. You know,

1701
01:25:30,120 --> 01:25:32,400
Speaker 1: I'm not the same bitch I was in fucking March.

1702
01:25:33,080 --> 01:25:38,600
Speaker 1: But like it's just practicing being like self.

1703
01:25:38,360 --> 01:25:41,800
Speaker 2: Aware enough to communicate that to the people around you

1704
01:25:42,160 --> 01:25:44,719
Speaker 2: and notice when the people around you are not receiving

1705
01:25:44,800 --> 01:25:49,160
Speaker 2: it and can't and can't reciprocate that, because I think

1706
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,719
Speaker 2: that's a big thing too. We grow up with friends

1707
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:53,680
Speaker 2: that we've had for a long time, and then you

1708
01:25:53,800 --> 01:25:55,920
Speaker 2: feel stuck and being the person you grew up with

1709
01:25:56,000 --> 01:25:57,840
Speaker 2: them and they see you just as that and you

1710
01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:00,400
Speaker 2: can't get out of that. But like it's really good

1711
01:26:00,439 --> 01:26:02,400
Speaker 2: to keep checking in and who makes you feel good

1712
01:26:02,439 --> 01:26:03,240
Speaker 2: and who your tribe is.

1713
01:26:03,360 --> 01:26:05,639
Speaker 1: Like I agree with that. Like I say this a lot.

1714
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:12,200
Speaker 2: Life is to be experienced with pleasure, Like life is pleasure.

1715
01:26:12,320 --> 01:26:14,840
Speaker 2: And if you're not experiencing like sex in all of

1716
01:26:14,880 --> 01:26:17,600
Speaker 2: your relationships and not literally speaking, but if you're not

1717
01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:21,880
Speaker 2: experiencing like breakthrough pleasure moments with all of your friends,

1718
01:26:22,040 --> 01:26:25,360
Speaker 2: break through conversations that may be uncomfortable, but afterwards you're

1719
01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:28,000
Speaker 2: making love Because I'm like, oh.

1720
01:26:27,920 --> 01:26:30,040
Speaker 1: My god, I'm I'm so happy.

1721
01:26:30,080 --> 01:26:31,760
Speaker 2: I can tell this bitch all this weird shit in

1722
01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:35,439
Speaker 2: my mind, you know, like it's it's not worth it.

1723
01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:38,120
Speaker 2: You know, if you don't feel those moments often in

1724
01:26:38,200 --> 01:26:40,800
Speaker 2: the relationships that you keep, it's probably not your people.

1725
01:26:41,439 --> 01:26:44,080
Speaker 2: You've got to find your tribe and you've got to

1726
01:26:44,120 --> 01:26:45,800
Speaker 2: find people that make you like even if it's you

1727
01:26:45,880 --> 01:26:48,479
Speaker 2: pushing yourself to be like this is my honest feelings.

1728
01:26:48,960 --> 01:26:52,800
Speaker 2: It's so important to fight for those type of relationships

1729
01:26:52,920 --> 01:26:57,000
Speaker 2: and go to the good vibra tree and find bitches

1730
01:26:57,040 --> 01:26:58,880
Speaker 2: that you can do that with, not bitches women. I

1731
01:26:58,960 --> 01:27:03,439
Speaker 2: need to stop with the bitches the witches that you

1732
01:27:03,560 --> 01:27:06,160
Speaker 2: can you can relate to in that way. And even

1733
01:27:06,200 --> 01:27:09,360
Speaker 2: if that means letting go of old friendships and finding

1734
01:27:09,479 --> 01:27:11,599
Speaker 2: new ones that serve you, that that's.

1735
01:27:11,479 --> 01:27:15,880
Speaker 1: What needs to happen. Fact, your friendships and your.

1736
01:27:15,800 --> 01:27:20,680
Speaker 2: Relationships should definitely motivate you to grow, even if it's uncomfortable.

1737
01:27:20,720 --> 01:27:22,920
Speaker 2: If you're staying complacent, if you don't feel like you're

1738
01:27:22,920 --> 01:27:24,640
Speaker 2: growing in those relationships, they're not for you.

1739
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:28,960
Speaker 1: I agree. I think this is a good time to

1740
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:32,479
Speaker 1: check out what this card is. Okay, let's see. So

1741
01:27:32,600 --> 01:27:36,280
Speaker 1: at the top of the episode, LaToya pulled the judgment card.

1742
01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:43,400
Speaker 1: Oh boy, and here we go, here we go, and

1743
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:48,880
Speaker 1: it's teot time. Baby. The judgment card. We've never pulled

1744
01:27:48,880 --> 01:27:54,040
Speaker 1: this card, I don't think, but the number twenty is

1745
01:27:54,080 --> 01:27:58,680
Speaker 1: on it. There are people below and then water it

1746
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:04,120
Speaker 1: looks like and likement compartments square boats. There's like square

1747
01:28:04,200 --> 01:28:07,840
Speaker 1: boats and there's like a woman it seems and with

1748
01:28:07,960 --> 01:28:10,519
Speaker 1: angel wings in the sky with a trumpet like you're

1749
01:28:10,520 --> 01:28:13,000
Speaker 1: watching on YouTube. We'll put a picture up Shout out

1750
01:28:13,000 --> 01:28:17,200
Speaker 1: to mahogany Taro by Kishira, our favorite black tarot card

1751
01:28:18,160 --> 01:28:22,439
Speaker 1: tarot card deck. But this means basically, let me tell you,

1752
01:28:22,560 --> 01:28:24,880
Speaker 1: because let me stop guessing right now. And I think

1753
01:28:24,920 --> 01:28:25,679
Speaker 1: I have to do with emotion.

1754
01:28:25,800 --> 01:28:34,280
Speaker 2: There's water involved and hmm rebirth inner calling absolution. So

1755
01:28:35,439 --> 01:28:38,120
Speaker 2: the judgment card shows a naked woman, men, women and

1756
01:28:38,240 --> 01:28:42,360
Speaker 2: children rising from their graves, arms outspread and looking up

1757
01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:46,000
Speaker 2: in the sky above our angel Gabriel, the Messenger of God,

1758
01:28:46,360 --> 01:28:49,599
Speaker 2: blows his trumpet. The people respond to his call, ready

1759
01:28:49,640 --> 01:28:51,559
Speaker 2: to be judged and to find out if they will

1760
01:28:51,560 --> 01:28:53,479
Speaker 2: be accepted into the heavens or not. This is the

1761
01:28:53,520 --> 01:28:55,120
Speaker 2: most religious tarot card I've ever seen.

1762
01:28:55,200 --> 01:29:04,800
Speaker 1: Actually, well Latoyan and broad the right. She was like, oh,

1763
01:29:04,800 --> 01:29:06,000
Speaker 1: I'll never pull a no car And I was like,

1764
01:29:06,040 --> 01:29:08,920
Speaker 1: come on, girl, I just pulled a car. Just just

1765
01:29:09,000 --> 01:29:10,920
Speaker 1: for a disclaimer, also for you too, because I know

1766
01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:13,720
Speaker 1: we talked about this. We didn't talk about this, but

1767
01:29:13,880 --> 01:29:16,720
Speaker 1: we we addressed this on the trigger and I'm uh,

1768
01:29:17,040 --> 01:29:19,000
Speaker 1: we said what you feel, how do you feel about

1769
01:29:19,240 --> 01:29:23,639
Speaker 1: which which you shit? And I know we reference WHICHI

1770
01:29:23,680 --> 01:29:25,639
Speaker 1: shit a lot on our show, but I think.

1771
01:29:26,120 --> 01:29:28,800
Speaker 2: Just to clarify for people listening and for you, like

1772
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:31,960
Speaker 2: if you are God fearing, if you're religious, if you're

1773
01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,919
Speaker 2: listening to our show and you're like, I'm a fucking.

1774
01:29:33,720 --> 01:29:37,920
Speaker 1: With those witchy bitches. We when we say which, I.

1775
01:29:37,960 --> 01:29:41,559
Speaker 2: Think the term I think the term has been very

1776
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:46,200
Speaker 2: negative in like our society, but for us, I think, well,

1777
01:29:46,280 --> 01:29:49,240
Speaker 2: for me it's been very It's it's more about my

1778
01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:52,799
Speaker 2: divine feminine and the way in which I can utilize

1779
01:29:52,880 --> 01:29:53,960
Speaker 2: my magic, you know.

1780
01:29:54,439 --> 01:29:55,479
Speaker 1: Alongside God.

1781
01:29:55,680 --> 01:29:59,200
Speaker 2: It's like God's magic and how I've been able to

1782
01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:02,240
Speaker 2: harness it and like manifest the things that i want

1783
01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:03,640
Speaker 2: manifest this relationship.

1784
01:30:03,800 --> 01:30:07,080
Speaker 1: And just that's when I say witchy shit. It's not

1785
01:30:07,240 --> 01:30:07,479
Speaker 1: like the.

1786
01:30:07,560 --> 01:30:12,519
Speaker 2: Pagan like long long nose, like evil, Like we're not

1787
01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:15,519
Speaker 2: evil women but I think it's like think of Wizard

1788
01:30:15,560 --> 01:30:16,839
Speaker 2: of Oz, the good Witch.

1789
01:30:18,120 --> 01:30:21,000
Speaker 1: Glenda, Remember Glendad. That's what I'm thinking of. Okay, so

1790
01:30:21,200 --> 01:30:21,960
Speaker 1: judgment upright.

1791
01:30:22,040 --> 01:30:24,280
Speaker 2: The judgment card is calling you to rise and embrace

1792
01:30:24,360 --> 01:30:26,880
Speaker 2: a higher level of consciousness for the service of your

1793
01:30:26,960 --> 01:30:31,519
Speaker 2: highest good. You're experiencing a spiritual awakening and realizing that

1794
01:30:31,640 --> 01:30:35,080
Speaker 2: you are destined for so much more. This is your

1795
01:30:35,160 --> 01:30:38,120
Speaker 2: cosmic up leveling. You hear the call and you are

1796
01:30:38,200 --> 01:30:41,519
Speaker 2: ready to act. Tune into a higher frequency. Let go

1797
01:30:41,640 --> 01:30:44,360
Speaker 2: of your old self and step into the newest version of.

1798
01:30:44,439 --> 01:30:45,880
Speaker 1: You, of who you really are.

1799
01:30:47,120 --> 01:30:49,519
Speaker 2: The judgment card often indicates that you need to make

1800
01:30:49,640 --> 01:30:53,200
Speaker 2: life changing decision, but unlike those associated with the logical

1801
01:30:53,400 --> 01:30:57,280
Speaker 2: justice card, this decision requires a blend of intuition and intellect.

1802
01:30:57,800 --> 01:31:00,639
Speaker 2: You may be at a crossroads where the any choice

1803
01:31:00,680 --> 01:31:03,000
Speaker 2: you make will bring a significant change with the long

1804
01:31:03,160 --> 01:31:06,719
Speaker 2: lasting effects. Tune into your higher self, trust your judgment,

1805
01:31:06,840 --> 01:31:09,200
Speaker 2: and know you're on the right path. If you still

1806
01:31:09,240 --> 01:31:11,600
Speaker 2: need clarity on the situation, look to your past and

1807
01:31:11,680 --> 01:31:14,640
Speaker 2: life lessons to guide you. And I feel like we

1808
01:31:14,760 --> 01:31:17,320
Speaker 2: talked about this. I feel like we talked about women

1809
01:31:17,360 --> 01:31:20,000
Speaker 2: who are unhappy and they're like, I'm.

1810
01:31:19,880 --> 01:31:22,320
Speaker 1: Not so unhappy, but I've been married ten years or whatever,

1811
01:31:22,640 --> 01:31:25,639
Speaker 1: and then they stay. But I think it's about your intuition.

1812
01:31:25,880 --> 01:31:29,839
Speaker 2: I think I think we separate our intuition from religion

1813
01:31:30,600 --> 01:31:34,080
Speaker 2: and from like the God. You know, this very strict,

1814
01:31:34,160 --> 01:31:36,680
Speaker 2: rigid form of what God looks like. But I think

1815
01:31:36,720 --> 01:31:39,400
Speaker 2: that removes us from God, the image of God in

1816
01:31:39,479 --> 01:31:41,719
Speaker 2: which we were made of, and he kind of instills

1817
01:31:41,800 --> 01:31:43,680
Speaker 2: that in us, that intuition, so we're like, oh no,

1818
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:46,960
Speaker 2: that's not for me, and in all things, we need

1819
01:31:47,040 --> 01:31:49,839
Speaker 2: to lead with that, you know. I think that's a part.

1820
01:31:50,120 --> 01:31:52,439
Speaker 1: Of this pool, and I think that's our I think

1821
01:31:52,479 --> 01:31:54,840
Speaker 1: the lot of that is our superpower. As women. We

1822
01:31:55,560 --> 01:31:57,880
Speaker 1: got that intuition on luck, and not to say men don't,

1823
01:31:57,920 --> 01:32:01,880
Speaker 1: but we really got it. Amen, you really got that ship.

1824
01:32:02,080 --> 01:32:06,160
Speaker 1: I would have to agree. I would have to agree. Wells,

1825
01:32:06,520 --> 01:32:09,519
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. This is a

1826
01:32:09,640 --> 01:32:12,519
Speaker 1: fun guy. I'm so grateful for you coming out here.

1827
01:32:12,640 --> 01:32:14,840
Speaker 1: I know that you left Mexico a day early, but

1828
01:32:16,360 --> 01:32:18,760
Speaker 1: oh my god, her friends are going to kick our ass.

1829
01:32:19,479 --> 01:32:22,720
Speaker 1: Would you take our friend? I mean I have to

1830
01:32:22,760 --> 01:32:26,880
Speaker 1: go back. Yes, we'll come with you. Okay, are sent

1831
01:32:26,960 --> 01:32:28,479
Speaker 1: a resort to somebody, it's like, where'd you find that?

1832
01:32:28,600 --> 01:32:33,120
Speaker 1: I was like, don't worry about my friend, just make

1833
01:32:33,160 --> 01:32:36,120
Speaker 1: it happen exactly. Yeah. No, we had an amazing time,

1834
01:32:36,160 --> 01:32:38,080
Speaker 1: but it was worth it. It was worth it, and

1835
01:32:38,160 --> 01:32:39,680
Speaker 1: I actually did get to come in and just have

1836
01:32:39,760 --> 01:32:45,080
Speaker 1: a day to like get still. And so it worked

1837
01:32:45,080 --> 01:32:46,880
Speaker 1: out and that's so important. When your mom, I'm like,

1838
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:48,439
Speaker 1: is this like your first trip that you've been, like

1839
01:32:48,680 --> 01:32:51,880
Speaker 1: like vacation trip or you are you do you take trips?

1840
01:32:52,080 --> 01:32:54,080
Speaker 4: I take trips, okay, but I feel like this one

1841
01:32:54,360 --> 01:32:57,040
Speaker 4: is the longest that I've I'm gonna be without them.

1842
01:32:57,280 --> 01:32:59,600
Speaker 1: It's driving me absolutely. Like my mom was sending me

1843
01:32:59,680 --> 01:33:01,120
Speaker 1: pictures like, oh, look at this picture.

1844
01:33:01,120 --> 01:33:02,519
Speaker 3: I have it t I was like, you just sent

1845
01:33:02,560 --> 01:33:03,360
Speaker 3: me into depression.

1846
01:33:03,479 --> 01:33:06,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just do that. Oh I did not mean

1847
01:33:06,439 --> 01:33:08,439
Speaker 1: to do that. I'm like, just I don't know, more pictures.

1848
01:33:08,479 --> 01:33:11,439
Speaker 4: I'll be trying not to, you know, look at pictures

1849
01:33:11,520 --> 01:33:13,800
Speaker 4: and get sad because my mom's guilt to be like,

1850
01:33:13,840 --> 01:33:14,080
Speaker 4: oh my.

1851
01:33:14,080 --> 01:33:16,240
Speaker 1: God, I'm enjoying How dare I enjoy my life without

1852
01:33:16,280 --> 01:33:17,200
Speaker 1: my kids? Right?

1853
01:33:17,280 --> 01:33:20,320
Speaker 4: No, it's I mean, I'm you know, it's it's the

1854
01:33:20,400 --> 01:33:22,720
Speaker 4: time where I am supposed to be alone legally. I'll

1855
01:33:22,720 --> 01:33:27,280
Speaker 4: say it like that, so you know, is tough, but

1856
01:33:27,640 --> 01:33:30,960
Speaker 4: it's it's, uh, what's necessary necessary.

1857
01:33:31,120 --> 01:33:33,760
Speaker 1: We'll say it like that, and it's it sucks, but

1858
01:33:34,240 --> 01:33:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm best. I'm making the best of it. It's it

1859
01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:39,479
Speaker 1: might suck right now, but I'm gonna let you know now,

1860
01:33:39,720 --> 01:33:42,280
Speaker 1: like being able to drop them kids off is a

1861
01:33:42,439 --> 01:33:47,360
Speaker 1: fucking blessing gift. We love the kids, we love our children,

1862
01:33:47,479 --> 01:33:50,360
Speaker 1: but you know not, no shame to the married ones,

1863
01:33:50,479 --> 01:33:52,519
Speaker 1: but y'all don't really get them breaks unless your husband

1864
01:33:52,560 --> 01:33:54,320
Speaker 1: is really allowing you and you know them husband to

1865
01:33:54,400 --> 01:33:56,360
Speaker 1: calling you every five seconds once you leave, like, where's

1866
01:33:56,400 --> 01:33:58,280
Speaker 1: the toothbrush, where's the where's the how do I do this?

1867
01:33:58,360 --> 01:33:59,880
Speaker 1: How do I do that? You're like, fuck, I gotta go.

1868
01:34:00,200 --> 01:34:02,840
Speaker 1: Let me just go back. Don't go back, don't answer

1869
01:34:02,920 --> 01:34:06,599
Speaker 1: the phone, don't look at pictures less there's an emergency

1870
01:34:06,640 --> 01:34:08,600
Speaker 1: that I can physically help us, and do not call me.

1871
01:34:08,720 --> 01:34:13,479
Speaker 1: There's blood call me. If not, don't call me. No

1872
01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:17,479
Speaker 1: blood only blood blood, Yeah, because the nosebley doesn't count.

1873
01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,160
Speaker 1: What can I do physically if I'm in Mexico, I

1874
01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:25,120
Speaker 1: think call me after it's resolved. Don't stress me out.

1875
01:34:25,160 --> 01:34:29,599
Speaker 1: I'm drinking margarita. Thank you. Where can our people find

1876
01:34:29,680 --> 01:34:31,519
Speaker 1: you and check in on you? Oh?

1877
01:34:31,600 --> 01:34:34,280
Speaker 3: On my I G I'm on there often at LaToya

1878
01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,280
Speaker 3: like get l E T O I A l U

1879
01:34:36,360 --> 01:34:37,120
Speaker 3: c K E T T.

1880
01:34:38,680 --> 01:34:42,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where I spend most of my time. Perfect

1881
01:34:43,640 --> 01:34:46,120
Speaker 1: And you guys. If you guys are interested in joining

1882
01:34:46,200 --> 01:34:48,680
Speaker 1: us in Costa Rica this summer, make sure you check

1883
01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:51,760
Speaker 1: out the episode description. We have a link there you

1884
01:34:51,840 --> 01:34:54,840
Speaker 1: can book a call with us if you have any questions.

1885
01:34:55,680 --> 01:34:59,200
Speaker 1: Make sure you like and review this episode or just

1886
01:34:59,240 --> 01:35:02,400
Speaker 1: the podcast and roll on Apple or Spotify. Please support

1887
01:35:02,439 --> 01:35:05,720
Speaker 1: black pot Black podcasters. We really need those reviews and

1888
01:35:05,880 --> 01:35:10,840
Speaker 1: ratings to beat the white algorithm. If you want to

1889
01:35:10,920 --> 01:35:14,320
Speaker 1: hear more bonus content secret episodes, make sure you check

1890
01:35:14,320 --> 01:35:17,200
Speaker 1: out our patreon that's patreon dot com, backslash Good Mom's

1891
01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:20,160
Speaker 1: Bad Choices, and check out our merch store. We have

1892
01:35:20,240 --> 01:35:25,519
Speaker 1: hellicute merch. That's it, right, that's it, so take care.

1893
01:35:25,760 --> 01:35:26,559
Speaker 1: Thank you so much