1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Jonnas is Sam your og Okay Storytime 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:05,519 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show alive. 5 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,040 Speaker 3: I cut off my longtime friend because she made my 6 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 3: wife uncomfortable. But my wife thinks I overreacted. 7 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:20,080 Speaker 2: Ooh, that's just normally the right move. Yeah, I don't know. 8 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 2: Your wife is on hard mode. 9 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 3: Recently, I forty mail cut off contact with one of 10 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 3: my good friends a we'll call her Allison forty female. 11 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 3: I have known Alison almost sixteen years, long before I 12 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,920 Speaker 3: met my wife. We met in college and were part 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,240 Speaker 3: of the same friend group. By the way, this comes 14 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:44,199 Speaker 3: from throwaway MSI on the Okay Storytime subured it. So 15 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 3: after Allison and I graduated college, we both moved to 16 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 3: the same city for a job. We found apartments close 17 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,440 Speaker 3: by and would hang out regularly. We would do grocery 18 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 3: shopping together, hang out at each other's apartments, and go 19 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 3: out for dinner. One day, Alison told me that she 20 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 3: loves being time with me and that maybe we should 21 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,680 Speaker 3: officially date. I told her that I liked her as 22 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 3: a friend too, but we were very different people. And 23 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,399 Speaker 3: I did not think of her in that way. She 24 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 3: told me that since we already spent so much time together, 25 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 3: she just assumed I was interested in her and hence 26 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 3: asked me. And she also felt we were very different people. 27 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 3: She's like, no, no, no, I totally get it. I 28 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,960 Speaker 3: wasn't actually interested in you either. I thought you were 29 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 3: interested in me doing. 30 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 2: The classic Oh no, I'm just kidding a jiggy Yeah, dude, 31 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,639 Speaker 2: that's so funny. 32 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 3: We never discussed this. After that, nothing changed between us, 33 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 3: and we've remained close friends. One year later, I met 34 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 3: my wife. We started dating, and I couldn't be happier. 35 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 3: I remember thinking after our first date that she was 36 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 3: exactly the person I wanted to be with. She's smart 37 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 3: and caring, and I can't help but feel lucky I 38 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,560 Speaker 3: found her. We both got married and are now happily 39 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 3: married for eleven years with one cute kid. 40 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,120 Speaker 1: See that you were like first date, Like, yeah, there 41 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: she is, there's my wife. That's crazy. Can't imagine. 42 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 3: Allison also met her husband around the time I was 43 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 3: dating my wife, and she also married a few months 44 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 3: after me. We all remained good friends to this day. 45 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 3: My wife has asked me when I was dating. If 46 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 3: Alison and I ever dated, I was honest with her 47 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,520 Speaker 3: and told her about that one night when Alison asked 48 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 3: me if we should date. She never had a problem 49 00:02:24,919 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 3: with Alison, and they both also went shopping together. The 50 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 3: issue started happening one year ago. Alison told my wife 51 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,640 Speaker 3: and me one night that she was not happy with 52 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 3: her marriage and felt her husband did not treat her well. 53 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 3: I don't want to go into specifics, but four months 54 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 3: after that they filed for divorce and amicably separately. Alison 55 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 3: did start spending more time with my wife and me 56 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:53,519 Speaker 3: as we were her emotional support. However, as time went by, 57 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 3: Alison started texting me and telling me how sad she was. 58 00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 3: I always told her she was happy to visit us 59 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:04,079 Speaker 3: anytime if she wanted to talk. My wife, however, did 60 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 3: not like that she was messaging me and not in 61 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 3: group chat, as she was as much of a friend 62 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 3: to Alison as I was. She also felt that it 63 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 3: was okay to be her support as a couple, but 64 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 3: didn't want her to see me along as her emotional 65 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 3: support and messaged me after ten pm about her problems. 66 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,359 Speaker 3: I did follow what my wife said, as I feel 67 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 3: as a married couple. We should have boundaries with how 68 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 3: we talk to our friends, irrespective of their gender. 69 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 1: How long, like fifteen years? 70 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I see it kind of both ways. And there 71 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 3: is more because I do kind of understand what OPI's 72 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 3: wife is saying of this girl bad. 73 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: Feelings for you. 74 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 3: She's you know, her marriage is not working out, and 75 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 3: now she's trying to rely on just you for emotional 76 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 3: support even though we're all friends. 77 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: Wait, was it her who had the feelings? 78 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 3: I thought it was OP Alison other feelings or op Yeah, 79 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I know. Alison asked Op out and no. 80 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,320 Speaker 3: People was like, hey, I don't see you like that, 81 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 3: and she was like, ah, no, mean me either. I 82 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 3: don't know if I said it in the wrong way, 83 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 3: but when I told Alison about this, she lost it 84 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 3: on me and started berating my wife for being controlling. 85 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 3: I tried to explain to her that it's just boundaries 86 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 3: that we have to set as a couple, and I'm 87 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,800 Speaker 3: sure I would do the same if my wife's friend 88 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 3: was messaging her late at night. However, she was just 89 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 3: offended by the implication that she had any motives for 90 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 3: talking to me. After the fight, I decided to let 91 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 3: the situation cool off on its own and didn't reach 92 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,240 Speaker 3: out to Alison. She also has not messaged me since then. 93 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 3: My college friends are now calling me and telling me 94 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 3: I am an a hole for ignoring Alison in such 95 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 3: a vulnerable moment and that I'm a bad person, which 96 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 3: is not what happened. 97 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 2: No, it's really more like you got you were trying 98 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 2: to make everybody happy. Yeah, and it's like, honestly, dude, 99 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 2: I think you could still be there for Allison. 100 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: I was just not in the middle of the night, 101 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: That's all he was saying. I think that's it. That's 102 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: all either in the middle of the night. 103 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 3: My wife, of course, supports me, but feels like I 104 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,240 Speaker 3: let the situation go too far. I do miss Allison, 105 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 3: but I am not comfortable talking to her if she 106 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 3: does not respect my wife in my boundaries and messages 107 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 3: me at any time of the day. 108 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: You just mention is that as soon as she started 109 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 2: bashing your wife, she's good. That's when it's like, all right, yeah, 110 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,799 Speaker 2: now back been married for eleven years. 111 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 1: Do not talk bad on my wife. I'm my wife, 112 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: my wife. 113 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 3: Do you think I offended Allison when I told her 114 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,039 Speaker 3: not to message me late in the night. If you 115 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 3: were in my situation, how would you tell your friend 116 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 3: to respect your boundaries? And there is an update? 117 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: Is that literally all that they say? 118 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 3: I think that's all of these. I think he was like, Hey, 119 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 3: my wife's a little bit uncomfortable with this, do you 120 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 3: mind just like texting me in my business hours? Thanks 121 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 3: everyone for all your opinions. I don't know who to 122 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 3: talk to about this, since everyone around me seems to 123 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 3: think I was overreacting. I showed the post to my 124 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 3: wife and after reading it and the comments, she was. 125 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 1: A bit mad at me. 126 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 3: Rightly, according to her, I did omit some key facts 127 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 3: from the story that make Allison sound like a bad guy. 128 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 3: Here are some of the things I should have mentioned, 129 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 3: according to her. Number one, let's get it and asked 130 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,440 Speaker 3: about dating once thirteen years ago. I should let it go. 131 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 3: She has been a great friend to us and a 132 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 3: great aunt to my son. 133 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: Number two. 134 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,719 Speaker 3: Alison and I only hang out in social settings, mostly 135 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 3: at parties and get togethers with our friends and family. 136 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 3: My wife is in charge of my social calendar in 137 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 3: the way of like she's like, hey, we're going to 138 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,480 Speaker 3: a party together on this day, or she's like, you 139 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 3: can you can go outside? 140 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,159 Speaker 1: On Tuesday at three pm, she calls Elizabeth. I've arranged 141 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,400 Speaker 1: a playdate with all husbands. They can hang out today. 142 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 3: Hence, she talks to Alison more than I do. She 143 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,159 Speaker 3: has been a close friend of Alison for a long time, 144 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: and she spends time together with her and makes plans 145 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,560 Speaker 3: with her even when I'm not around. Number three, Alison 146 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 3: has told my wife that she sees me as an 147 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 3: older brother who's very protective of her. 148 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 1: This is true. 149 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,920 Speaker 3: I have very few good friends, and I do care 150 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 3: a lot about all. Before the messaging at night happen 151 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,320 Speaker 3: only twice, we have do not disturb, but there is 152 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 3: a list of people as an exception, and Alison is 153 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 3: one of them. However, we only expect them to message 154 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 3: if there is an emergency. When Alison messaged me, my 155 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 3: wife first asked if she was okay, but then was 156 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 3: annoyed since we're both sleeping. Hence, when it happened again, 157 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 3: she asked me to tell her not to message late. 158 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,480 Speaker 3: She also mentioned why she was messaging me and not 159 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 3: the group chat. Number five. Our fight happened three weeks ago. 160 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 3: My wife has been telling me every day to call 161 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 3: Alison and sort things out. We both still care about her. 162 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,239 Speaker 3: My wife also thinks that Alison and I have huge 163 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 3: egos and are acting like kids and my post just 164 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 3: went too far. She called Alison this evening after reading 165 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 3: the post. They're meeting on Sunday for brunch. I am 166 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 3: not going as I'm not going to talk to her 167 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 3: until she apologizes to my wife. Let's see what happens. 168 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: Go get brunch. What do you think you're chill? Is 169 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 1: this guy? 170 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 3: I think he's what's reacting a little bit after reading 171 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 3: all of that. I think that I think his wife 172 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 3: was like, hey, can you just like let her know, 173 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: like we're not up after you know, ten pm? Yeah, 174 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 3: because it sounds says it woke her up. Was just like, hey, 175 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 3: can you just like let her know like it was 176 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 3: too late or something, and he took that super far. 177 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 2: She's like, dude, what I was waiting for, like the 178 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,760 Speaker 2: other shoe to drop of, Like, so here's the points 179 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 2: my wife said, I forgot to mention it. And they're like, no, 180 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,560 Speaker 2: it was all exceptionally normal things. 181 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 3: It seems like fine. Maybe I think she did a react, 182 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 3: but I also think o Bio reacted. 183 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: But I do think that it's it's weird that she's 184 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 2: hanging up on the fact that they talked about dating 185 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 2: once thirteen years ago. 186 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 3: So the TLDR is my wife now thinks I have 187 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 3: been rude to Alison and not emotionally available to her 188 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 3: when she needs us. 189 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,679 Speaker 1: He's like, I don't know what I'm supposed to. 190 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 2: My eyebrows are my eyebows are raised. 191 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: My eyebrows are raised at. 192 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 2: The wife right now because it feels like she's like 193 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,880 Speaker 2: low key manipulating him. 194 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 3: I think he's just really confused. My wife read my 195 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: post and decided to take things into her own hands. 196 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,600 Speaker 3: She's also good friends with Alison and told me that 197 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 3: she cannot stop being her friend just because of our misunderstanding. 198 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 3: She met Alison on Sunday for brunch. I took my 199 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 3: kid to a trampoline park and had fun after brunch. 200 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 3: This is my wife's description of what happened. She said 201 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:13,679 Speaker 3: that Alison met her and looked sad. She immediately apologized 202 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,400 Speaker 3: to my wife and told her that she said some 203 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,679 Speaker 3: terrible things about her in the heat of the moment. 204 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 1: That she did not meet. 205 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 3: They hugged it out and had a nice brunch. I 206 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 3: also heard that a lot of tears were shed. Alison 207 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 3: told my wife that it has been feeling that she 208 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,240 Speaker 3: has been feeling down since Thanksgiving since it was her 209 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 3: first Thanksgiving without her ex after many years, and was 210 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 3: overwhelmed with the prospect of being alone during holidays. Hence, 211 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 3: she wanted to talk to someone. Since she lost most 212 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 3: of her friends in divorce, as they were mostly her 213 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 3: husband's friends, we were the closest people to her and 214 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,199 Speaker 3: she wanted to talk to us that night. She knows 215 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 3: my wife and I sleep early, and hence didn't message 216 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 3: in the group chat like she always does. She saw 217 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:57,479 Speaker 3: me online at ten PM and hence messaged me hot. 218 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: Hens is dropping a lot of hands right now. 219 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 3: This, my part, was not correct, as I distinctly remember 220 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 3: being woken up from her sleep with her message, ooh. 221 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 2: Oooowow now we've got the official yeah, first time husband's 222 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:12,760 Speaker 2: been like, I. 223 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: Don't wait a minute lining up. 224 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 3: She felt bad that I was so dry in my 225 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 3: responses and lost it when I told her not to 226 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 3: message me at night. She also hated the implication of 227 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,079 Speaker 3: ME telling her to use group chat, as she felt 228 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 3: I was her friend and I was pushing her away. 229 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 3: After that, from what I understand there was a lot 230 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 3: of talk about how I am emotionally unavailable to her, 231 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 3: and my wife also agreed that while I did a 232 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 3: lot of things, I never really talked to her in 233 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,160 Speaker 3: detail about how she's feeling. After brunch, Alison gave my 234 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 3: wife a bag of gifts she got for my kid 235 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 3: for Christmas. She always spoils him, especially during the holidays. 236 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 3: My wife invited Alison to spend the night at her 237 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 3: place so that she could watch my kid open the presence. 238 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 3: Alison agreed, and she told her that she would come 239 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 3: in the evening. Alison messaged me before coming that she was 240 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,280 Speaker 3: coming in thirty minutes and to tell my wife. Once 241 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 3: she came, it was nice to see her, and she 242 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 3: gave me a long, warm hug. We had a wonderful 243 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 3: time at night, but my kid was happiest since his 244 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 3: favorite person was home. We also had a nice morning, 245 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 3: and Alison helped me make breakfast while my wife got 246 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 3: my son ready for the morning. My wife got Alison 247 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 3: a sweater, but Alison commented how I didn't buy her 248 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 3: a gift. She asked me to assemble her furniture on 249 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 3: Friday and mount her new TV, so there goes my 250 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,679 Speaker 3: free day on Friday. Overall, my thoughts on Alison is 251 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 3: that she is a good friend, and I know how 252 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,040 Speaker 3: much I love my wife and never do anything to 253 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 3: jeopardize our relationship. Hence, if my wife is comfortable, I 254 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 3: should not make things weird and just be there for 255 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 3: a friend. I don't think there's going to be another update, 256 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 3: but I just wanted to write this as things turned 257 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 3: out okay at the end. And PS, A lot of 258 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 3: you messaged me privately. I read all the messages, but 259 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 3: I chose to ignore them without reply. 260 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 1: Hence there is an update. 261 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 3: You guys messaged me after ten am, so I chose 262 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,160 Speaker 3: to ignore them. 263 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm confused. I feel like this. 264 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 2: Update and I might be wrong. I feel like this 265 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 2: update is going to be him being like yeah. So 266 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 2: I read your comments and I realized my wife was 267 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 2: controlling my entire life many update. 268 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 3: I thought the last update would be final and things 269 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 3: are growing great and things are going great, but all 270 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 3: comments felt like you were trying to talk me off 271 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,440 Speaker 3: the ledge. My wife is going to her parents' house 272 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 3: today with my kid, so today morning, during breakfast, I 273 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,880 Speaker 3: asked her to read the comments on Reddit. She told 274 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,160 Speaker 3: me that it's stupid I'm posting this on Reddit, and 275 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 3: she's sure I must have again embellish the facts to 276 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,520 Speaker 3: suit my narrative. 277 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: She refused to read the post. 278 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 2: Oh, I feel like I was right. 279 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 3: She feels she is great at reading people and she 280 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 3: knows Alison better than anyone on Reddit who just knows her. 281 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 3: Through my short post. She brought up how I go 282 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 3: to help my guy friends on their project sometimes early 283 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 3: Sunday mornings and asked me why I am hesitant to 284 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 3: help Allison. I am sorry to say, but she also 285 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 3: told all of you to get a life stop watching 286 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 3: soap operas, as real life is not as complicated. 287 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:06,520 Speaker 1: Wrong. 288 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: Real life is actually probably even more complicated than soap 289 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 2: opera's because soap operas are just written figments of imagination. 290 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:15,719 Speaker 1: Yeah. 291 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 2: No, it sounds like it sounds like the wife is 292 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 2: completely dismissing his experience. 293 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, and the plus, I'm a little sauce on this wife. 294 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 2: She doesn't want to read the Reddit post because she 295 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 2: doesn't want to read any comments that might be coming 296 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 2: at her. 297 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,439 Speaker 1: And I would bet you ten to one she's already 298 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: read it. 299 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 3: She has a point. I help my friends all the 300 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 3: time and if she trusts me to be alone with Alison, 301 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,120 Speaker 3: then it would be sexist for me to be hesitant 302 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 3: to not help her just because she's a good looking woman. 303 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: But wasn't there just a moment where you kind of 304 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: expressed your uncertainty about Allison. 305 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 3: After reading the comments, I am curious as to what 306 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,400 Speaker 3: exactly is going on. So this is what I'm going 307 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,839 Speaker 3: to do. I'm going to Allison's house tomorrow to help 308 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 3: her with furniture. I'm going to see if she says 309 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 3: anything remotely weird that is out of line. If she does, 310 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,439 Speaker 3: I get a reason to avoid her in the future. 311 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 3: If she does not, then she gets her furniture assembled. Also, 312 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 3: I know I am one hundred percent faithful to my wife. 313 00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 3: I am six y three and two hundred pounds, so 314 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 3: I don't think I need to worry about anything. I 315 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 3: liked the comment to go there early and get done quickly. 316 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 3: That way, I get the rest of the day to 317 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,800 Speaker 3: myself and finally try out my new quest three for 318 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 3: the rest of the day. Finally, Alison messaged me this 319 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 3: morning and asked me what time I was coming. She 320 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 3: asked me to come at ten am since it's her 321 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 3: day off. Too and wants to sleep in late. Also 322 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,400 Speaker 3: asked me what I would like to have for lunch as. 323 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: She would be cooking. 324 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 3: And there is another final update I will say really quick. 325 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 3: It seems like, oh P is uncomfortable with Alison and 326 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 3: has kind of brought that up and is getting dismissed. 327 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 3: I don't think you necessarily have to have a reason 328 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 3: for not wanting to hang out with someone. 329 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,280 Speaker 2: But like, wasn't I feel like the reason that he's 330 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,840 Speaker 2: uncomfortable is because he's just like, I. 331 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: Don't know what's going on anymore. 332 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, he feels because it seemed like he wasn't uncomfortable 333 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,760 Speaker 2: at all at the beginning. He's like, yeah, I don't know, 334 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 2: it's it was fine. I told her my bat I 335 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 2: told her we can't text like this anymore. And then 336 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 2: she got really mad and is like, now at this point, 337 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 2: I feel like it's more like he wants an apology. 338 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 2: I guess, but it's like, I think you need to 339 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 2: get the apology from your wife with throwing the wrench 340 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 2: into this entire thing. Very strange because unless she was 341 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 2: spam calling you in the middle of the night, it's 342 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 2: like a text message to your phone and she was 343 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 2: mad that it wasn't in a group chat with her. 344 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 3: This is my final update and hopefully my life will 345 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,120 Speaker 3: be very uneventful in twenty twenty four. I recently wrote 346 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 3: a post regarding falling out with my friend Alison forty 347 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 3: female due to her not respecting the boundaries that I set. 348 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 3: My wife got us to reconcile on Christmas Eve, and 349 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 3: Alison asked me to assemble some of her furniture as 350 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 3: a Christmas gift. I thought that was my last update, 351 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 3: but everyone on Reddit seems to think Alison has some 352 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 3: ulterior motive for calling me to her place when my 353 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:57,840 Speaker 3: wife and kid are off at their parents' place. So 354 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,400 Speaker 3: the plan was I go to Allison's place at ten 355 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 3: am and assemble her stuff. She was to cook a 356 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 3: nice meal for me, and then come home and finally 357 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 3: get to play my quest three on my fright free day. 358 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 3: On Thursday night, I was talking to my wife before sleeping, 359 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,880 Speaker 3: and her tone was slightly different. She had a hundred 360 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 3: questions about my visit to Alison's place. When I was going, 361 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 3: when I was coming back. She said that our toddler 362 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 3: son missed me a lot, especially when sleeping, since I 363 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 3: always took him in. She asked me if I could 364 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 3: directly come to her parents' place after I was done 365 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 3: with Allison's work and try to come there before dinner. 366 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 3: I was okay with that, but that meant I had 367 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 3: to leave Alison's place before two am, so I messaged 368 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:40,600 Speaker 3: Allison and we decided that I would come. 369 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 1: At nine am. 370 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,720 Speaker 3: I reached there around that time and Alison had just 371 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 3: woken up and was in her pajamas, as some of 372 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 3: you guys had predicted. She offered me coffee and breakfast, 373 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: but I had already eaten so just got the coffee. 374 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,400 Speaker 3: She showed me what needed to be done and went 375 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 3: to take a shower and get dressed. After that, she 376 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,440 Speaker 3: came to help me, but after she met up a 377 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,320 Speaker 3: few things, I told her to just play something on 378 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 3: Netflix and continue my work. She then went to prep 379 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 3: for food. We talked about our friends, gossips, et cetera, 380 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 3: and to be honest, it was a really fun time. 381 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,080 Speaker 3: I did confront her about why she told our friends 382 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:17,240 Speaker 3: about her fallout and made me the villain. She taunted 383 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 3: me that unlike me, they call her to check on 384 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 3: how she is. One funny thing was my wife and 385 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 3: son kept on calling me every hour as my son 386 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 3: wanted to show me all the things he was doing, 387 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 3: so that kept us entertained too. Alison was mostly talking 388 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 3: to him while I was working. The food was amazing. 389 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 3: For context, Alison and I are from the same country 390 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 3: and were born in the same city, so she took 391 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 3: some curry that we only get in part of in 392 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:44,679 Speaker 3: my part of the country. It was great and I 393 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 3: thoroughly enjoyed The food made the visit totally worth it. 394 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 3: To be honest, She did not say anything bad about 395 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: my wife, but asked me why my wife reached out 396 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,679 Speaker 3: to her and not me. She also asked me if 397 00:17:55,680 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 3: our fight caused any tension between us. Finally, I was 398 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,760 Speaker 3: done by two thirty pm. Since it was a four 399 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,120 Speaker 3: hour drive. She asked me if I wanted to rest 400 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 3: for a bit since I had been working since morning, 401 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 3: but I decided to get going so that I could 402 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 3: make dinner. She also had a great time and told 403 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,080 Speaker 3: me we should hang out more. Alison did pack some 404 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,639 Speaker 3: leftovers for my wife and her parents. Overall, you guys 405 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 3: were wrong and it was nice to spend time with 406 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,440 Speaker 3: dear friend. I did not get any creepy vibes from her, 407 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 3: But it would be creepy of you guys to not 408 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 3: listen to full episodes of stories like this. Just go 409 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 3: to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app and 410 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 3: search up. Okay, sorry time, this is all little bit suspicious, Yeah, 411 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,560 Speaker 3: a little bit loud. 412 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,919 Speaker 1: I'm still suspicious on the wife. 413 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,040 Speaker 2: Everything, and I don't think we're gonna get into any 414 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 2: confirmation about it. 415 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,679 Speaker 3: I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff. 416 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,359 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is kind of weird, but we 417 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,399 Speaker 3: never got any of the weird stuff. When I reached 418 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 3: my in law's place, it was late, but we had 419 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,040 Speaker 3: a nice dinner, and of course we're able to tuck 420 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 3: my son in. I was talking to my wife and 421 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 3: my mother in law at night, and my mother in 422 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 3: law was pissed at why I would go to Alison's 423 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 3: place a lot. Apparently, my wife told my mother in 424 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:05,400 Speaker 3: law about the whole saga, and she saw red flags 425 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 3: all over, just like you guys, girl red flags with who. 426 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: Girl, No, my wife told you to do that. I've 427 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: been friends for fifteen years, dude. 428 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 3: She scared my wife into thinking something was off. That 429 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 3: was the real reason my wife called me over early, 430 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,639 Speaker 3: so that I finished my work sooner. I think my 431 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 3: wife was also calling me every hour to check if 432 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 3: everything was okay. 433 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,120 Speaker 1: I freaking knew it. 434 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,359 Speaker 3: However, I told him there was nothing to worry about, 435 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 3: and I had a nice time and Allison was very appropriate. 436 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 3: We had a great weekend and just returned today. Sorry 437 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 3: everyone if my post is not as spicy as everyone expected, 438 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 3: but guess this is real life. Wish you all happy 439 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 3: New Year. Something's wrong with his wife who was feeding 440 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 3: that information to the wife the mother, so the mother 441 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 3: in law and in law so her mom, no, no, no. 442 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,000 Speaker 3: The wife was talking to the mother in law and 443 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 3: being like I don't know, like I talking to his mom. 444 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 3: No to her mom, to her mom, to her mom. 445 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,280 Speaker 3: So Opie's goes over to Alison. Wife goes talks to 446 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 3: her mother in law and it's like I don't know, 447 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 3: like it's this is weird. Allison's gonna try something and 448 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 3: it's like putting, you know, talking so in the mother 449 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,919 Speaker 3: in law. I gets mad at Ope when the freaking 450 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 3: wife told Ope to go over to Alison's house, was like, no, 451 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 3: do any encourage shit? 452 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,560 Speaker 1: And op replied he would be sexist if he didn't. 453 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 2: I'm upset with my husband because he always ruins my 454 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:26,680 Speaker 2: birthday plans. 455 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 3: He's a hater and he needs to get out. 456 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,440 Speaker 1: Hey, you heard it here first. 457 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 3: For that's all I have to say about that. 458 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: Long story short. 459 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,359 Speaker 2: I thirty four female, am low on paid time off 460 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 2: at a newish job that I started in February. Step 461 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 2: son got married in August and a lot of my 462 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,879 Speaker 2: paid time off was used for this, as well as 463 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 2: a few mental health days and a few sick days 464 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 2: over the course of the year with good reason. And 465 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,399 Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from user buffalo chedd or 466 00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,400 Speaker 2: biscuit on the r slash Okay storytime subreddit, where you 467 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:06,440 Speaker 2: can submit your stories. So, my boss has already said 468 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 2: that they can't make exceptions based on my circumstances when 469 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,959 Speaker 2: it comes to attendance. They know my step son has 470 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 2: a brain tumor and stepdaughter has kidney issues as I 471 00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,280 Speaker 2: have had to use sick time to take stepdaughter to 472 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:17,920 Speaker 2: the hospital. 473 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:23,160 Speaker 1: Dang, and they can't make exceptions that not like a 474 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,679 Speaker 1: excused absence kind of thing. 475 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know that sounds that sounds a little 476 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 2: extreme to be like, we can't make an exception for 477 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 2: your son's brain tumor. 478 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: I had a lot of doctor's visits and I. 479 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 2: Am genuinely loving the job most days and so far, 480 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,520 Speaker 2: despite the attendance, my work seems to like me and 481 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 2: my background does well. I come from a quality background 482 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 2: in aerospace and metal shops. This is a corporate inspector 483 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 2: for a jewelry retailer, so Fancier Metals. Similar principles of manufacture, 484 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,320 Speaker 2: but different processes to get to final goods. Stepdaughter is 485 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 2: twenty one female, step son is twenty four male, and 486 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: husband is forty four male. A couple of weeks after 487 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,240 Speaker 2: getting back from stepson's wedding, stepdaughter called and talked to 488 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 2: husband and I about a business trip in October to Vegas. 489 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,719 Speaker 2: She is afraid to go alone to a conference, and 490 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 2: I can't blame her. She's very fit, but she has 491 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 2: a very small frame. She looks young, and she sometimes 492 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 2: gets hassled for this. A couple of weeks ago, she 493 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 2: had a fender bender well alone and the other driver 494 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,880 Speaker 2: was very aggressive trying to intimidate her, and it's left 495 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 2: her a little shaken. Stepdaughter wanted her father and or 496 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 2: I to accompany her on her business trip, her first 497 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,199 Speaker 2: being far away because she didn't want to be alone 498 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 2: in such a large city. Immediately after the call, I 499 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 2: told my husband that I thought they should go together. 500 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,439 Speaker 2: He's been feeling more distant from his daughter, and she 501 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,080 Speaker 2: is in the throes of adulthood and has a boyfriend, 502 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 2: school and her job. She is very busy and works 503 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,040 Speaker 2: very hard. I thought it was a great time to bond. 504 00:22:55,359 --> 00:23:00,199 Speaker 2: Husband was adamant that we both go. Fast forward to 505 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,600 Speaker 2: this week. I put in my paid time off, but 506 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 2: found out it's a longer stay than we were originally told. 507 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,920 Speaker 2: And I have also been asking this week to book 508 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,679 Speaker 2: tickets with husband. But he's been getting home late after 509 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 2: seven PM, doesn't come inside from the garage until after nine, 510 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,840 Speaker 2: and takes a long shower. What is he doing in 511 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,480 Speaker 2: the garage for two hours? He got projects in this Hey, 512 00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:24,119 Speaker 2: I got projects in my garage. 513 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,199 Speaker 1: Garage and you're doing for two hours, building up to. 514 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 2: Two hours of jetpack time in the garage. 515 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,080 Speaker 1: Something's going on in that garage. 516 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,199 Speaker 2: I am a sleepy gal, so I'm usually asleep by 517 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,439 Speaker 2: the time he gets out of the shower. I'm riding 518 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,199 Speaker 2: this at three am because my husband just told me 519 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 2: he doesn't intend on going. He thinks we should use 520 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,920 Speaker 2: this opportunity to bond, which would be nice if our 521 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 2: relationship was in need of more bonding. 522 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like, I've already bonded with her. You bond with. 523 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:56,159 Speaker 2: Your daughter exactly. Opie says that my stepdaughter and I 524 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 2: are tight. 525 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:03,479 Speaker 1: Yeah tight point, Oh really this. 526 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 2: I don't want to leave her in a large city 527 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 2: where she's going to be afraid by herself. I've also 528 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,040 Speaker 2: never felt a desire to go to Vegas. I hate 529 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,679 Speaker 2: large cities, and the only reason I wanted to go 530 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: was because my husband has friends out there that I 531 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 2: wanted to meet in person and to go on a 532 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,880 Speaker 2: few desert hikes with Hubby while stepdaughter was doing work 533 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 2: stuff during the day. It is a huge opportunity for 534 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 2: stepdaughter's career. I also barely drink and don't gamble or 535 00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: go shopping. While I like food, I don't have the 536 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 2: budget for the better restaurants. I told him I wasn't 537 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,199 Speaker 2: comfortable that he made this decision, and I don't have 538 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 2: enough paid time off to cover all the days, and 539 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 2: I was angry that he made the decision without consulting me. 540 00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 2: He started getting heated, saying he didn't do anything wrong, 541 00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,480 Speaker 2: but he kind of did. 542 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: You kind of did, just because the time with your daughter. 543 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,919 Speaker 2: Another factor. My birthday is four days before the trip. 544 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 2: My husband has a history of either awful get gifts 545 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:02,879 Speaker 2: or no gifts, and I get very anxious in the 546 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,440 Speaker 2: days leading up to my birthday because Hubby always picks 547 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 2: a fight because he either didn't plan anything and feels 548 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,439 Speaker 2: guilty or he calls me ungrateful. 549 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: This guy sounds like a keeper. 550 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 2: A few memorable birthdays include painting my car, which sounds 551 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 2: nice in theory, but husband painted it himself with a 552 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,880 Speaker 2: very fancy professional paint system, three stage paint with base color, 553 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 2: catalyst and blue sparkle additive. Hubby is not professionally trained, however, 554 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,480 Speaker 2: and the car that was supposed to be a dark 555 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 2: blue ended up with legit rag marks in the paint 556 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 2: and deep scratches, varying degrees of sparkle who some areas 557 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 2: had a ton, some had none, and you could see 558 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 2: the old silver paint through the blue. It ended up 559 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 2: terribly orange peeled, and it was an and it was 560 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,159 Speaker 2: a laughing matter at my work. I tried to give 561 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,239 Speaker 2: him the benefit of the doubt while he was doing it, 562 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,679 Speaker 2: and then found out that was the gift. When my 563 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:02,120 Speaker 2: birthday rolled around. If there was a plan, he said, 564 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 2: my car was the only plan. I was angry, as 565 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:09,480 Speaker 2: this destroyed the value of my car. I hadn't even 566 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 2: indicated that I wanted my car painted, and he went 567 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 2: ahead and started, so I couldn't tell him no. He 568 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 2: confirmed this the day he started painting, that he started 569 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,400 Speaker 2: so I couldn't say no. Literally from the horse's mouth, 570 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 2: this guy. 571 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,880 Speaker 1: Is self centered. I don't like this guy. 572 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 3: Oh p and you're one of our family, and I 573 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:29,920 Speaker 3: don't want you to be treated this way. 574 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:33,800 Speaker 1: He deserved someone who cares about your birthday, about him. 575 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 3: And he's making you take I mean, like, even if 576 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:38,679 Speaker 3: you have a close relationship with his daughter, like with 577 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,760 Speaker 3: your stepdaughter, it's still not okay for him to just 578 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 3: kind of like put the whole trip on you. And also, 579 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 3: I mean, it seems like there's gonna be a lot 580 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 3: of time where you're kind of. 581 00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:48,480 Speaker 1: By yourself because she's working. 582 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 2: Two years ago, he got me no gifts, not the 583 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: first time of no gifts, but this time was memorable 584 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 2: because of the following. He asked me where I wanted 585 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,440 Speaker 2: to go, and I said, my favorite sushi restaurant in 586 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 2: the city, which is about a twenty minute drive, because 587 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 2: I had just discovered it and really loved the cucumber salad. 588 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 2: To this day, they know me as the cucumber salad girl, 589 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 2: and the chef always puts out extra that's incredibly cute. Yeah, 590 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 2: oh it's a girl here, go home. Gom husband then 591 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 2: takes me to a random sushi restaurant in our town 592 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 2: that had just opened because he wanted to try it 593 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 2: and thought it was a nicer restaurant than my favorite. 594 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: It's not your birthday. He picked a. 595 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:37,280 Speaker 2: Fight with me about me being ungrateful because I didn't 596 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 2: want to eat at another sushi restaurant on my birthday 597 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,720 Speaker 2: and I wanted to eat it my favorite. He went 598 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 2: outside to cool down, and I quietly cried at the table. 599 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,199 Speaker 3: I've been freaking watching Last five or listening to the 600 00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 3: Last five Years album. 601 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: This is that, This is that. 602 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,199 Speaker 2: The owner of the other sushi restaurant brought me a 603 00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:00,040 Speaker 2: birthday diikon radish dish that was covered in cinnamon and 604 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 2: sugar because I had no birthday cake. The owner was 605 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,920 Speaker 2: super sweet and got me to stop crying and to 606 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 2: note this was the year I told my husband, I'm 607 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 2: done planning my own birthdays. I told him in advance 608 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 2: because I was tired of planning my own celebrations and 609 00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 2: cooking the meal and cleaning the house, and that he 610 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:19,120 Speaker 2: could figure it out. This was the celebration that he planned. 611 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 2: No family was invited or even asked to come. Last year, 612 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 2: I left town to visit my half sisters, first time 613 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 2: meeting them in person. 614 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 1: They're twins. 615 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 2: They were born twelve years before me, but birthdays were 616 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 2: two days apart. Husband had been upset I was leaving 617 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,679 Speaker 2: town for my birthday, and I pointed out that I 618 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: was trying to avoid the usual blow up and he 619 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 2: never planned anything. He still blew up because I was 620 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 2: running away and he was worried I might not come back. 621 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 3: Trader right, yeah, m maybe trader better and she'll come back. 622 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 1: Made me think. 623 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 2: About why would be worried about that and then take 624 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: steps to address it. I told him that his reactions 625 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 2: were why I wanted to celebrate away from him, because 626 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:05,960 Speaker 2: I wanted a nice birthday for once, no gift, but 627 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 2: he did send me a Vemo for the trip, and 628 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,920 Speaker 2: I accepted that this was an improvement. Four years ago, 629 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 2: I had planned my own birthday party, did the cooking 630 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 2: and cleaning things. Sister in law brought me cupcakes. Mother 631 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 2: in law bought me some very nice jewelry, and I 632 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:23,600 Speaker 2: was happy. Hubby got nothing, and when everyone asked what 633 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:27,400 Speaker 2: he got me, I admitted nothing. After the party, he 634 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 2: was upset and picked a fight. I stood my ground 635 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 2: that if he felt bad for not getting a gift 636 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 2: yet and he should have gotten. 637 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 4: Me a gaft, are you a fool? You know the 638 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,600 Speaker 4: song Where Is My Mind by the Pixies. 639 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 2: He doesn't get to be mad at me because he 640 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,080 Speaker 2: didn't get me a gift, and I wouldn't lie to 641 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 2: his family. He admitted he had wanted to get me 642 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 2: the jewelry, and when he saw his mom had actually 643 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 2: got me some, he was upset. 644 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 1: I'm sorry you want it isn't doing oh a thought 645 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: about it? Who cares? This isn't middle school. It's not like, oh, 646 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,480 Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe I wore the same. 647 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,440 Speaker 2: Outfit as that other person. It's like you can get 648 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 2: her jewelry as well. 649 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,680 Speaker 1: We aren't in your mind palace. 650 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 3: Your thoughts don't actually form into physical objects, nice things. 651 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,400 Speaker 2: He told me that he was upset and that it's 652 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 2: the thought that counts. I told him that applies to 653 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 2: when you get a gift and it's not the best 654 00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 2: fit for the recipient, not because you thought about getting 655 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,320 Speaker 2: a gift and decided not to. 656 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:38,920 Speaker 1: Yeah. 657 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 2: I joked that I was thinking about getting him a 658 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 2: trip to Paris for Christmas, and since I told him 659 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,880 Speaker 2: I didn't have to get him anything for Christmas or 660 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 2: the trip, Yeah. 661 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: Throw it right in his face. 662 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, throw that stinky, illogical nonsense back back on his plate. 663 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 2: He was mad at that one for a while and 664 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,960 Speaker 2: was upset that I might not get him Christmas gifts. Dude, 665 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,440 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I. 666 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:03,720 Speaker 1: Canna give me a creamy. I'm not gonna get you 667 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 1: a Christmas giving? Who cares? 668 00:31:06,560 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 2: By the way, I wanna teach you something, which is 669 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,120 Speaker 2: that you can listen to full episodes with stories like this. 670 00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,080 Speaker 2: All you gotta do is go to Spotify or Apple 671 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 2: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts from and search. 672 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 1: Okay, storytime. So this brings me to this year. 673 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 2: I just had a conversation while typing this out with 674 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 2: husband about admitting he wasn't going to Vegas. He admitted 675 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 2: it was a test because he wanted to see my reaction. 676 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,920 Speaker 2: I told him that is a red flag, yeah, exactly, 677 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 2: and that these kinds of tests are designed for me 678 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 2: to fail. It removes any possibility of communicating. And while 679 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,280 Speaker 2: he was angry, I had told him I was angry 680 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,800 Speaker 2: with him. I wasn't okay with his manipulative behavior. I 681 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 2: don't feel safe going to Vegas, nor have I ever 682 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 2: wanted to go there, let alone with the added responsibility 683 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 2: of parenthood. He said it was an honor he was 684 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 2: trusting me with going with his daughter. Told him it's 685 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 2: a responsibility and making decisions without me, and that it's 686 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 2: unfair to test me like that. So am I the 687 00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 2: a hole. Things took a weird turn, And yes, I'm 688 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 2: aware my husband is coming across as very toxic he 689 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 2: can be. But this is a frustrating moment and description. 690 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:21,360 Speaker 2: While I am upset and frustrated, I'm very concerned with 691 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 2: your husband's behavior, I. 692 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 3: Am also really concerned with your husband's behavior. I don't 693 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 3: like it. And I think the fact that like, we 694 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:30,760 Speaker 3: haven't heard all of the other stuff in your relationship, 695 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 3: we're only going off what you've given us, yes, which 696 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,520 Speaker 3: you should kind of take that in and be like, 697 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 3: why did I only write. 698 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. 699 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors. 700 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 3: My mother in law thinks she's the mother of my 701 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 3: kids and even tried to make it legal. 702 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,840 Speaker 5: Stop I'm gonna make that illegal because that's wrong. 703 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 3: So I understand that s O should have made an 704 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 3: active attempt to keep mother in law at a distance, 705 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:58,120 Speaker 3: but I truly believe he has only now woke up 706 00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,560 Speaker 3: to her and her actions, and he now he realizes 707 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 3: how truly messed up the situation is. By the way, 708 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 3: this comes from I'm Edel, and if you want to 709 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 3: submit your own. 710 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 1: Stories, go to our slash Okay storytime Separate It. 711 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,320 Speaker 3: My partner, male twenty four, and I female twenty one, 712 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:15,400 Speaker 3: share one biological child together, male four months, and my stepson, 713 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 3: male three. My partner and I got pregnant early into 714 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:18,760 Speaker 3: the relationship. 715 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: Oops. 716 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,160 Speaker 3: We have been together for one and a half years. 717 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 3: I understand this isn't long, but I didn't realize the 718 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 3: absolute crap show of a family I was getting myself 719 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 3: into before I felt pregnant. My partner at the time 720 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 3: did not see his son my stepson often, and when 721 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,320 Speaker 3: he did, his son would go to mother in law 722 00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,480 Speaker 3: for the sleep side of things, as she insisted. This 723 00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 3: arrangement was something created between s SO and mother in 724 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 3: law before my arrival into the relationship. So used to 725 00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,360 Speaker 3: live in an airbnb when he and stepson's mom broke 726 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,840 Speaker 3: up and stepson's mom still lived in the granny flat, 727 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 3: refusing to see so Todd is Op's s O. During 728 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,400 Speaker 3: this time, when stepson's mom couldn't look after him, mother 729 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 3: in law would step in instead of Todd. 730 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:57,680 Speaker 1: Todd is now in court for. 731 00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 3: Custody orders between him and stepson's mom, and they're able 732 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:03,440 Speaker 3: to communicate well regarding stepson now. We have him fortnightly 733 00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 3: from Thursday to Sunday. Early into the relationship, I helped 734 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,680 Speaker 3: Todd clean up rooms filled with step son's mother's dirty 735 00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 3: clothes in the granny flat to create a room for 736 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,040 Speaker 3: step son to live in and feel at home. And 737 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,439 Speaker 3: we're to call step son, we'll call him Billy Lee. 738 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,800 Speaker 3: I pushed Todd to work with Billy's mother to establish 739 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,040 Speaker 3: some kind of care agreement. I went out and bought 740 00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:24,560 Speaker 3: Billy clothes, toys, posters of bed, et cetera. With Todd 741 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 3: so that he had a place to feel like he 742 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 3: belonged while he was over. This also gave Todd more 743 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 3: confidence to care for Billy alone and not rely on 744 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,920 Speaker 3: mother in law. Mother in law never let Todd figure 745 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 3: things out on his own before I was around. She 746 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,720 Speaker 3: would constantly try to tend to Billy at any given 747 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,879 Speaker 3: moment and offered to look after Billy for the night 748 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 3: so Todd could sleep. She would cry and beg until 749 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 3: Todd aloud or to take him. This later created a 750 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,359 Speaker 3: horribly toxic relationship between Billy and mother in law, which 751 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 3: would become a recurring issue. We currently live with my 752 00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,640 Speaker 3: mother in law. Early in the relationship, she convinced Todd 753 00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 3: and me to move in with her to save money, 754 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:59,200 Speaker 3: claiming I was wasting money by renting. She has always 755 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 3: been frugal believes everything is value. She's also a significant 756 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 3: order with the backyard completely run down and cluttered with 757 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 3: items everywhere. 758 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,440 Speaker 1: Oh, this is going to be an ICU for her. 759 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:11,200 Speaker 3: She has a tendency to take out loans and never 760 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 3: repay them or go on payment plans for unnecessary items. 761 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,440 Speaker 3: One is a massage chair where she makes one payment 762 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,040 Speaker 3: and then ghosts the company. She taught Todd not to 763 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,120 Speaker 3: pay back his car. 764 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,640 Speaker 1: Loan to the bank, convincing him that it was the 765 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,319 Speaker 1: people's money and that debt collectors couldn't do anything if 766 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,040 Speaker 1: he just never answered their calls. I'm sorry, no. 767 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,800 Speaker 3: She would ask about the loan constantly and get upset 768 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 3: when he told her he made a payment. She would 769 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,040 Speaker 3: then create some kind of debt he oweder, rent, phone bills, 770 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 3: et cetera that needed to be paid urgently, blaming his 771 00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:40,719 Speaker 3: bank repayment for why he couldn't pay her, and that 772 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 3: he should do what she's been telling him to do 773 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 3: and just ignore all of her calls and not pay 774 00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 3: her back. As simple as that, she convinced Todd to 775 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,359 Speaker 3: transfer most of his important assets, car phone, et cetera 776 00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,560 Speaker 3: into her name, and made her self a nominee on 777 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,759 Speaker 3: his bank clothes to speak on his behalf. I have 778 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,760 Speaker 3: since convinced Todd to start making repayments, explaining the legal 779 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 3: reality to him because we are now considered to facto. 780 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,480 Speaker 3: If debt collectors came after him, my belongings could also 781 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,560 Speaker 3: be seized to make up for the outstanding balance. Confirmed 782 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:08,240 Speaker 3: with a lawyer. 783 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 1: Oh fun, good, great, great payod debts man. 784 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,359 Speaker 3: We have since removed her as a nominee on the loan. 785 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:13,719 Speaker 2: Good. 786 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,799 Speaker 3: My credit score is fantastic good. I always pay my 787 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 3: bills in a dance. Todd's credit score, on the other hand, 788 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 3: is the gutter with unpaid bills that have been forgotten 789 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 3: for years and the debt collector problem. I didn't know 790 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 3: any of this before falling pregnant. Mother in law moved 791 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,600 Speaker 3: into the granny flat into the backyard while I was 792 00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 3: around seven months pregnant, and Todd and I moved into 793 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:34,440 Speaker 3: the main house to prepare for our family again. 794 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,600 Speaker 1: This was her idea. 795 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 3: At the time, I was beyond grateful for the opportunity 796 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 3: to have a house to live in and grow my 797 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 3: family and while we search for rental. Well, what an 798 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,600 Speaker 3: aft up idea that turned out to be. Over the 799 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,360 Speaker 3: last few months, I've realized all of her so called 800 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,600 Speaker 3: good deeds and offers were ill intended. I didn't even 801 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,439 Speaker 3: know one eighth of what I know now regarding her, 802 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,000 Speaker 3: her relationship with Todd and the kids, and the true 803 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 3: state of the home we now live in. Todd grew 804 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 3: up with mother in law shielding him from his father 805 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,719 Speaker 3: until just a few years ago. Mother in law is 806 00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,640 Speaker 3: kept Todd around to fill her own voids, ghosting all 807 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,319 Speaker 3: her friends and other family members. She makes comments such 808 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 3: as here my baby to Todd, and I do everything 809 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,879 Speaker 3: for my grandchildren. Whenever Todd stands up to mother in law, 810 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 3: she runs to Todd's dad, who then asks, why is 811 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 3: your mom upset. Todd is always made to feel wrong 812 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 3: or guilty and ends up apologizing for my baby shower. 813 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,359 Speaker 3: I had a message board where everyone could write notes 814 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,439 Speaker 3: for the baby. Mother in law was the only one 815 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:28,840 Speaker 3: who drew a massive heart around her name and wrote 816 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 3: forever love from mother in law mom Nana. She truly 817 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 3: believes she is the mother to Todd's kids, or at 818 00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:38,680 Speaker 3: least tries to be. My baby was in the nice 819 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 3: you for his first month. When he came home, I 820 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 3: was beside myself, terrified of hurting him and struggling with 821 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 3: p and D. Made worse by the lack of sleep. 822 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 3: Mother in law offered to babysit, let's name him Tommy, 823 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:53,920 Speaker 3: my bio son. I just said, fine, I know, just 824 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 3: is shocked for a few hours so Todd could sleep. 825 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:57,440 Speaker 1: Never me. 826 00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 3: Of course, she kept offering, and Todd except I asked 827 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 3: her to only stay for a few hours if she 828 00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 3: was comfortable not all night, and constantly reassured her that 829 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 3: I'd be back in three to four hours to take Tommy. 830 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,879 Speaker 3: Mother in law insisted, getting upset and saying she'd stay 831 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,040 Speaker 3: all night because she left it. I told Todd I 832 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,960 Speaker 3: wasn't comfortable with this, but he gave me an ultimatum. 833 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:18,080 Speaker 3: Unless I planned to stay up all night, I should 834 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 3: let mother in law do it. What mother in law 835 00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 3: looked after Tommy nearly every night for two weeks. 836 00:38:23,560 --> 00:38:24,760 Speaker 1: I regret this heart. 837 00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 3: I forgave Todd for a lot during late pregnancy, labor, 838 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:30,640 Speaker 3: and postpartum. I was afraid of arguing, so I pushed 839 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 3: a lot aside. He slept in my bed a few 840 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,480 Speaker 3: hours after I gave birth while I sat in a 841 00:38:34,560 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 3: chair rocking our baby to sleep, too afraid of what 842 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,920 Speaker 3: would happen when he woke up. While Tommy and I 843 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 3: were in the hospital him for breathing issues and I 844 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,320 Speaker 3: see you me for preclamcia, Todd kept making points about 845 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,200 Speaker 3: needing to go home to feed and walk the dog, 846 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:48,239 Speaker 3: go to the gym, et cetera. 847 00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: He hated sleeping on the recliner bed. 848 00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 3: We had a plan for what to do with Billy 849 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,080 Speaker 3: if I went into labor while he was at our house, 850 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,120 Speaker 3: we agreed he would go back to his mom. Mother 851 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,880 Speaker 3: in law, however, cried and begged Todd on the phone 852 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,799 Speaker 3: while I was being induced keep Billy, promising to look 853 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 3: after him. Todd gave in I now resent Todd and 854 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,279 Speaker 3: don't know if we will stay together. I'm terrified of 855 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,359 Speaker 3: what that means for Tommy because I believe Todd will 856 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:13,040 Speaker 3: make amends with mother in law and when Tommy visits him, 857 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:15,760 Speaker 3: mother in law will be around to take Recently, Todd, 858 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 3: his dad, and stepmom have had a falling out with 859 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,000 Speaker 3: mother in law. We have been searching for homes and 860 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:21,839 Speaker 3: trying to cut ties with her. She started going through 861 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,400 Speaker 3: our bins, googling my medications and telling me not to 862 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:28,080 Speaker 3: take them, name calling and manipulating Billy, fake crying when 863 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,319 Speaker 3: he wouldn't give her a hug, then laughing when he did. 864 00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,520 Speaker 3: Mother in law has not seen Tommy in nearly two 865 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,760 Speaker 3: months since the major falling out. She also hasn't seen Billy. 866 00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,879 Speaker 3: Now she is threatening Todd, claiming she has grandparent rights 867 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,000 Speaker 3: to see both children. She insists she has the right 868 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,360 Speaker 3: to see Billy because she had a more yet says, 869 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:46,960 Speaker 3: I'm respecting your space and boundaries and waiting for you 870 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,319 Speaker 3: to let me know when I could see them. But 871 00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:50,920 Speaker 3: you can see us right now or in the future 872 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 3: if you listen to full episodes with stories just like this. 873 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,919 Speaker 3: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search 874 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,839 Speaker 3: a book a storytime. But there is a little bit 875 00:39:58,920 --> 00:39:59,920 Speaker 3: left to the story. 876 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:02,799 Speaker 5: I think this is like a reality check for the 877 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,839 Speaker 5: mother in law. Yeah, the world is falling apart. Yeah, 878 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,000 Speaker 5: what she already had and it was already falling apart. 879 00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:11,880 Speaker 3: Finally, Opie's partner is way like Todd is freaking waking 880 00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,959 Speaker 3: up because I'm sure Opie has been trying to say, like, hey, 881 00:40:16,040 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 3: your mother is getting too involved. 882 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:20,399 Speaker 1: Keep in mind too, Opie is very young. 883 00:40:20,520 --> 00:40:22,799 Speaker 3: Oh he's twenty one, but also acting a lot more 884 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 3: mature than the twenty four year old. 885 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean these you see her. 886 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,560 Speaker 5: I can see the mother in law manipulating what she 887 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 5: did in the very beginning, manipulating and like, no, this is. 888 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,080 Speaker 1: What adults do, Like you're in a little you know, 889 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,959 Speaker 1: I got this. And don't get me wrong. 890 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,319 Speaker 5: With the right people in the right in laws or 891 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,399 Speaker 5: just parents and grandparents, they want to help. 892 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm also sure like because Todd was nigh 893 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,239 Speaker 3: it was probably twenty when he, yeah, met his father, 894 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,040 Speaker 3: twenty when he became a father. 895 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,000 Speaker 1: He became a father and also a medicine and met 896 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:48,760 Speaker 1: his father crazy. 897 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,080 Speaker 3: Not only does she see Todd as her child, but 898 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,759 Speaker 3: she also manipulates and dumbs him down to keeping him 899 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 3: attached to her. She's now treating the kids as hers 900 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,280 Speaker 3: and is willing to fight us in court for visitation. 901 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:01,479 Speaker 3: I am trying so to make this work, to pull 902 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:04,080 Speaker 3: Todd out of the financial and emotional mess mother in 903 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:07,080 Speaker 3: law created. But with everything happening, I think this relationship 904 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,719 Speaker 3: will fail, and if it does, mother in law may 905 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 3: end up raising my son with me having no real 906 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,920 Speaker 3: leg to stand on. I think you just have to prioritize, 907 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 3: not really, honestly, I feel like right now you can't 908 00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:22,240 Speaker 3: really prioritize helping Todd get out of his financial situation. 909 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:23,399 Speaker 1: The only thing you can do. 910 00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 3: Yourself and make sure you have a great place. You know, 911 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,400 Speaker 3: you have a place to live, you have a job, 912 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,759 Speaker 3: like make sure all of that is as that is, 913 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 3: so that you can get access to your or you 914 00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,200 Speaker 3: can get custody. 915 00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,399 Speaker 1: Of your kids. 916 00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:38,200 Speaker 5: That's because you thought mother in law would have been 917 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,399 Speaker 5: like a like a safe haven, like we. 918 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,560 Speaker 1: Get a house. We have actually have a roof over 919 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:45,480 Speaker 1: my head. No such thing as a free lunch. 920 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:47,560 Speaker 5: Get away from that situation. Take your kids away from 921 00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:49,480 Speaker 5: that situation because that is very toxic. 922 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, but that is the end of that story. 923 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,120 Speaker 3: My brother ditched us for his fiances lifestyle. 924 00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,680 Speaker 1: Now he doesn't want us at his wedding. Sorry, I'm too. 925 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 1: Rudemysrena a little bit of background. 926 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,600 Speaker 3: I thirty six female, have twin siblings, thirty female and 927 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,440 Speaker 3: thirty male. We were very close growing up. I did 928 00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,399 Speaker 3: a lot of the parenting of them due to Dad 929 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,240 Speaker 3: having terminal cancer and mom having to be his career. 930 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,520 Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from examination number sixty four 931 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,760 Speaker 3: sevent nine and if you want to spit your own stories, 932 00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:21,799 Speaker 3: go to our Sashoke storytime subbured it. So when dad 933 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,479 Speaker 3: passed away when we were twenty and fourteen, it brought 934 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:25,720 Speaker 3: us even closer together. 935 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,040 Speaker 1: We leaned on each other. 936 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 3: Always went to festivals in gigs together every year, and 937 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 3: were actively involved in each other's lives until about eighteen 938 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:34,359 Speaker 3: months ago. 939 00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:34,680 Speaker 1: Wow. 940 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:36,319 Speaker 3: I would also like to point out that he has 941 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,200 Speaker 3: invited all of my stepfather's family from Scotland, some of 942 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,120 Speaker 3: whom he hasn't seen or spoken to for seven years. 943 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,080 Speaker 3: I believe this is referring to the brother now who's 944 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:44,680 Speaker 3: getting married. 945 00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:49,439 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean Scottish hey, Scottish ties, they run deep. 946 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:51,799 Speaker 3: Invited all of them to the day, but not our 947 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,400 Speaker 3: local uncles, Mom's brothers, both of which played a huge 948 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,080 Speaker 3: part in supporting us whilst Dad was poorly. They have 949 00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 3: also excluded our mom from wedding dress shopping, despite her 950 00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:04,520 Speaker 3: offering to help financially with the wedding, and our stepfather 951 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,960 Speaker 3: was gutted to learn that he has now decided against 952 00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:11,000 Speaker 3: kilts for the men. He's a proud Scotsman and he 953 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,799 Speaker 3: has been left out of suit shopping. Also, that sucks, dude, 954 00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:15,960 Speaker 3: No kilts for the Scotts. 955 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:17,240 Speaker 1: Were we doing? Dude? 956 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,600 Speaker 3: Am I overreacting or am I justified in being upset? 957 00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,600 Speaker 3: I am seriously considering not attending at all at this point? 958 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,840 Speaker 3: Would that make me an a whole? Also for information, 959 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,000 Speaker 3: our sister, his twin, was supposed to be his best 960 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,719 Speaker 3: woman and hasn't been given a plus one. She's also 961 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,719 Speaker 3: considering either stepping down or not attending at all. 962 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:41,280 Speaker 1: And there is a long at it, so we'll stop there. Guys. Firstly, 963 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,279 Speaker 1: have we spoken to brother? Yeah, that's my question. Have 964 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 1: we sa Have we communicated this anger? Have we discussed 965 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,680 Speaker 1: what we want to see here? Have you given him 966 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:53,279 Speaker 1: a list of demands and said unless these are met, 967 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,840 Speaker 1: I'm not going to the wedding. Kilts for all Scott's, 968 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 1: kilts for Scott, Tori, Scott's for. 969 00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 2: Killing He's most that's upset that the uncles aren't invited. 970 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,359 Speaker 1: The other uncles op. He is upset about that. I believe, Yes, 971 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,600 Speaker 1: that's the main point. Yeah, I don't know. I think 972 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 1: at that point, well, we got uncles aren't invited, no 973 00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:12,680 Speaker 1: kilts for Scott's. 974 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:17,520 Speaker 3: The is it this sister who is the best woman 975 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 3: can't bring up plus one that is whackers. 976 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,719 Speaker 2: That's the only thing I've heard so far that would 977 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,400 Speaker 2: I think justify like a threat to back out. I 978 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 2: think I think realistically like the uncle stuff is probably 979 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,959 Speaker 2: not ideal, But I don't know. I think you pulling 980 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,680 Speaker 2: out of the wedding would just make everything a bigger deal. 981 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:38,760 Speaker 1: Um. But there is an edit. My sister is recovering 982 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:41,520 Speaker 1: from an ed and has worked hard to recover. Di 983 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,640 Speaker 1: has told her that she has to wear the same 984 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: dress as the maid of honor, and the maid of 985 00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,080 Speaker 1: Honor is choosing the dress. The maid of honor is 986 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,840 Speaker 1: a very different body type to A and I is 987 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,360 Speaker 1: a I guess the sister. Let's call her Alissa? 988 00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, and an ill fitting dress, which she would 989 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,200 Speaker 3: have to pay for, would set her back months, if 990 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,880 Speaker 3: not a year in recovery. This is another reason she 991 00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,160 Speaker 3: is thinking of stepping down. Would I be the a 992 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,960 Speaker 3: hole and edit add information ied, I mean eating disorder, 993 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,959 Speaker 3: not a rectile dysfunction. She has struggled with this since 994 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,719 Speaker 3: she was around five. Wow, But thanks to our amazing 995 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 3: NHS and incompetent GP, we were told children. 996 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:20,280 Speaker 1: Cannot get eating disorders. 997 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,759 Speaker 3: So she was only diagnosed officially around two years ago. 998 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,480 Speaker 3: She has worked amazingly hard to get to a better place, 999 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:27,799 Speaker 3: but this is a lifelong struggle and we all try 1000 00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,320 Speaker 3: very hard to help her stay healthy, or I thought 1001 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,799 Speaker 3: we all did. She's amazing and I am her biggest cheerleader, 1002 00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:35,840 Speaker 3: and that's why it hurt so much that not everyone 1003 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:38,920 Speaker 3: has her health in mind. This is my brother's first relationship. 1004 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,080 Speaker 3: I don't know if this explains more about his thinking 1005 00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 3: and unwillingness to voice his own opinions and personality. I'm 1006 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:46,319 Speaker 3: unsure if he was worried about losing what took him 1007 00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,279 Speaker 3: so long to find my mom. Mom is a hard 1008 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,960 Speaker 3: one to explain. There's always been an element of favoritism 1009 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,400 Speaker 3: for the only boy. My sister and I grew up 1010 00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:56,800 Speaker 3: in the knowledge that our brother was the golden child 1011 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,200 Speaker 3: and could do no wrong. I feel my mom is 1012 00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,360 Speaker 3: grieving for the relationship she once had with d and 1013 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 3: let's call him Daniel. Myself and my sister have always 1014 00:46:05,600 --> 00:46:08,279 Speaker 3: had a difficult relationship with her. She loves us and 1015 00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 3: we know she does, but there is always a little 1016 00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 3: bit of woes me I can't do anything right when 1017 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,080 Speaker 3: we try to speak to her about how we feel. 1018 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:17,359 Speaker 5: Yeah. 1019 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,959 Speaker 1: I feel like that's a common thing for likes moms. Moms. Yeah, 1020 00:46:21,239 --> 00:46:23,759 Speaker 1: I'm just a terrible mother. Ah you should They know 1021 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,719 Speaker 1: how to play hard, Yeah, they play it a lot. 1022 00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:28,759 Speaker 3: She seems to be stuck between a rock and a 1023 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 3: hard place. She wants to stand up for us girls 1024 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,359 Speaker 3: and for what she feels is right, but also does 1025 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,879 Speaker 3: not want to risk losing what little relationship she still 1026 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,919 Speaker 3: has with my brother. Mom's brother is the other sad 1027 00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,520 Speaker 3: part of this. Earlier in twenty twenty four, he was 1028 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,200 Speaker 3: diagnosed with a rare form of cancer that had spread 1029 00:46:44,320 --> 00:46:46,759 Speaker 3: rapidly through his body. He's already very weak and will 1030 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:48,879 Speaker 3: almost certainly not make it to the wedding day. 1031 00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,160 Speaker 1: All three of us have a brilliant relationship with him. 1032 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,160 Speaker 3: He took me to my first football match and sparked 1033 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,279 Speaker 3: a lifelong love for my team, And we have all 1034 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,560 Speaker 3: cried with my mom about this. I think she was 1035 00:46:57,600 --> 00:46:59,880 Speaker 3: hoping for at least a symbolic invite to the wedding, 1036 00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:01,680 Speaker 3: but that hasn't happened either. 1037 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,160 Speaker 1: But you know what should happen you watching full episodes 1038 00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:06,600 Speaker 1: with stories just like this. 1039 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:10,320 Speaker 3: Just go to Apple podcast, Spotify or iHeartRadio and search 1040 00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:11,200 Speaker 3: a Pokey story time. 1041 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,440 Speaker 1: But there is a little bit left. Do you have 1042 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:15,960 Speaker 1: any final thoughts on this? I mean honestly final thoughts. 1043 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:19,879 Speaker 2: I'm canceling the wedding because dude, like you didn't let 1044 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:23,560 Speaker 2: the scotsman wear kilts or why are we even inviting 1045 00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,120 Speaker 2: the Scots At that point. 1046 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,120 Speaker 3: It's like, if you're not gonna let the Scottsburg kilts, 1047 00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:28,200 Speaker 3: then get out of. 1048 00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:30,960 Speaker 1: Scotland, you know, don't don't know, they're not Scotland, all 1049 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,000 Speaker 1: the Scots metaphorically. 1050 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,560 Speaker 2: You know, what are we doing not inviting the terminally 1051 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:36,840 Speaker 2: ill father. 1052 00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 3: Uh brother, the uncle. Oh yeah, that mother's brother also 1053 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,440 Speaker 3: super messed. 1054 00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:43,960 Speaker 1: Up, super messed up. I mean this is you know, 1055 00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:44,680 Speaker 1: this is. 1056 00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,520 Speaker 3: A person who's not gonna be around for a long 1057 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,080 Speaker 3: like a long period of time, even if he couldn't 1058 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,200 Speaker 3: necessarily make it to the wedding, just as Op said, 1059 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,680 Speaker 3: like just having that symbolic invite of saying like we 1060 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,200 Speaker 3: want you to be there and we understand if you help, 1061 00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:01,200 Speaker 3: your health does not permit you to. But yeah, uh, 1062 00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:05,319 Speaker 3: it's just being invited to things. That's nice sometimes even 1063 00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:06,560 Speaker 3: if you know someone's. 1064 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,120 Speaker 1: Busy, it's true even if you don't go. 1065 00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,320 Speaker 3: My sister has decided that when she is less upset, 1066 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,600 Speaker 3: she will write him a letter to explain how she 1067 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,719 Speaker 3: is feeling. She's a very good and a mode of 1068 00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 3: writer and feels that she can edit and explain herself 1069 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,359 Speaker 3: better in writing than in person, as she will get 1070 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,880 Speaker 3: flustered and forget to mention things when she gets upset. 1071 00:48:23,040 --> 00:48:25,560 Speaker 3: I will update if and when my sister sends her 1072 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,239 Speaker 3: letters to him and with his reaction, and there are 1073 00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:31,120 Speaker 3: some comments to finish this story off. Comment one, is 1074 00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,160 Speaker 3: your partner upset she wasn't invited? If so, don't go oh, 1075 00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,560 Speaker 3: he says, my partner is blissfully happy in most circumstances 1076 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:39,640 Speaker 3: in life, and that's why we are happy. I feel 1077 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:42,560 Speaker 3: that I am more frustrated by the inequality of it all, 1078 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:44,719 Speaker 3: and I am even more angry and sad for my 1079 00:48:44,800 --> 00:48:47,960 Speaker 3: sister than myself and my partner, as we are older 1080 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,520 Speaker 3: and have had more life experience and understand that some 1081 00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,320 Speaker 3: things aren't worth the fight or the argument. 1082 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:53,360 Speaker 1: But she is his twin. 1083 00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,600 Speaker 3: They have always been amazingly close and supportive for each 1084 00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,319 Speaker 3: other and have always said cradle to the grave. So 1085 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,120 Speaker 3: for this to be you ripping them apart is heartbreaking. 1086 00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 3: That is really, especially because Opie said that they were 1087 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:07,719 Speaker 3: so close up until eighteen months ago. Yeah, and like 1088 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,600 Speaker 3: I mean the bond between like twins especially, I'm sure. 1089 00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:15,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, this ah messed up, dude, messed up. 1090 00:49:15,160 --> 00:49:17,560 Speaker 3: Comment two not the a hole, But I hope you 1091 00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:20,160 Speaker 3: can stand some contact with him in case she is abusive. 1092 00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:20,920 Speaker 1: If he ever. 1093 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:22,920 Speaker 3: Decides to leave, he may need to have someone in 1094 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,680 Speaker 3: his corner. Opie says, the door will always be open 1095 00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:27,959 Speaker 3: for him. I would never turn him away. I've told 1096 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,680 Speaker 3: both of my siblings before, no matter what, I will 1097 00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,239 Speaker 3: always leave the light on for you. 1098 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:33,080 Speaker 1: Ah. 1099 00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:35,799 Speaker 3: Comment three, not the a whole. Your poor mom, she 1100 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,320 Speaker 3: must be heartbroken over how her youngest son is behaving 1101 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:39,160 Speaker 3: towards his family. 1102 00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:39,839 Speaker 1: Please go. 1103 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:42,759 Speaker 3: If your sister decides to remain as best woman, she'll 1104 00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,479 Speaker 3: need you. Also suggest to her to get the dress 1105 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,200 Speaker 3: altered to fit her body properly. She needs to look 1106 00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,719 Speaker 3: amazing in photos. Your brother is being an absolute a hole. 1107 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,319 Speaker 3: Don't lower yourself to his level. They may be of 1108 00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,600 Speaker 3: a higher socioeconomic bracket, but that doesn't equate to class. 1109 00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,400 Speaker 3: And Opie says, I will absolutely be there to supporter 1110 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:02,799 Speaker 3: if she goes, regardless of my opinions on the matter. 1111 00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,480 Speaker 3: I will make sure she looks amazing and most importantly, 1112 00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:08,279 Speaker 3: feels amazing, and I will make sure that we all 1113 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,160 Speaker 3: have an amazing day. And that is the end of 1114 00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:11,760 Speaker 3: that story. 1115 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,760 Speaker 1: I mean, that's about all you can do at that point. 1116 00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,680 Speaker 1: I also, I mean, it doesn't seem like you've had 1117 00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:19,080 Speaker 1: a conversation yet with the brother. Yeah, so it's up 1118 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:19,520 Speaker 1: with that. 1119 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:22,719 Speaker 3: Try Yeah, if you have cool, but if you haven't, 1120 00:50:22,840 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 3: you know, attempt that. See if you can get him 1121 00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,560 Speaker 3: to change his mind on any things, and just tell 1122 00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 3: him how you feel, how your family feels. 1123 00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,560 Speaker 1: Start with the kilks. Yeah, start with the kilts. Start 1124 00:50:32,760 --> 00:50:34,839 Speaker 1: we're small John here. 1125 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to this juicy story, but a 1126 00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,200 Speaker 2: quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors. I 1127 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,640 Speaker 2: excluded some family members from my wedding because of their 1128 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:50,000 Speaker 2: discriminatory past. Getady the throwaway, but I'm ninety nine percent 1129 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:52,720 Speaker 2: sure the family will find this anyway. Recently, my boyfriend 1130 00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:56,280 Speaker 2: twenty five mail and I, twenty four male of four years, 1131 00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,680 Speaker 2: got married. I come from a very traditional, if not stereotypical, 1132 00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,280 Speaker 2: let you know family the chief may or the gossip 1133 00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:06,160 Speaker 2: is deeply ingrained in the whole family. By the way, 1134 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:08,759 Speaker 2: this comes from user tax Dude to twenty twenty three 1135 00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:10,359 Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 1136 00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,240 Speaker 2: to the Okay storytime subredding. 1137 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:12,480 Speaker 1: So. 1138 00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,360 Speaker 2: I have about seven uncles, one of which is also 1139 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,239 Speaker 2: by like myself. He got married some time ago, and 1140 00:51:19,280 --> 00:51:21,560 Speaker 2: when he sent out invites to the whole family, a 1141 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:25,359 Speaker 2: large majority of them declined because of religious reasons, which 1142 00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:27,759 Speaker 2: really saddened him. I kept this in mind when it 1143 00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,080 Speaker 2: came time to send out my invitations and those particular 1144 00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,520 Speaker 2: family members did not get one. About a week ago, 1145 00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:35,680 Speaker 2: my husband and I went to my dad's house for 1146 00:51:35,719 --> 00:51:38,399 Speaker 2: the annual family reunion. I really didn't want to go 1147 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,319 Speaker 2: because I knew in the back of my mind this 1148 00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:43,120 Speaker 2: absolutely was going to get around despite the lack of 1149 00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:44,399 Speaker 2: posting on any social media. 1150 00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,480 Speaker 1: But my dad and mom really wanted me there. They 1151 00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:47,839 Speaker 1: are very supportive and. 1152 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,279 Speaker 2: The be loud and proud type of people, and I 1153 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:54,279 Speaker 2: love them to the grave for it. Even if it's 1154 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:57,799 Speaker 2: a little obnoxious. The spirit is what counts, right. I 1155 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:00,000 Speaker 2: voiced this concern to my dad and he was very 1156 00:52:00,239 --> 00:52:03,120 Speaker 2: insistent that if crap goes south, he'll be right there 1157 00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,440 Speaker 2: with me to laugh about it. The entire time. My 1158 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,960 Speaker 2: husband and I are getting some intense side eye. The 1159 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,640 Speaker 2: family that didn't attend didn't even try to hide the 1160 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:12,799 Speaker 2: fact that they were whispering about my husband and I. 1161 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:13,840 Speaker 1: About two hours. 1162 00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:16,520 Speaker 2: Later, as I am six or so, whiskeys in the 1163 00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,680 Speaker 2: straight uncles took initiative and decided to ambush me and 1164 00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,400 Speaker 2: ask why they weren't invited. 1165 00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:29,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, what could it? Be Do you know why they 1166 00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:30,240 Speaker 1: were invited? 1167 00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:34,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, Dora say it turns into Dora. 1168 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:38,840 Speaker 2: I was polite and I reminded them that they turned 1169 00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:42,280 Speaker 2: down the Bye Uncle's wedding for religious reasons. 1170 00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,360 Speaker 1: They responded with it least wanting to be thought about 1171 00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:50,040 Speaker 1: and being invited. That's insane. Technically you were okay, retro. 1172 00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:53,120 Speaker 3: I know, we just said in the last story, like, oh, 1173 00:52:53,239 --> 00:52:55,600 Speaker 3: you know, invite because even if they don't go, not 1174 00:52:55,719 --> 00:52:57,560 Speaker 3: in this case. Well, yeah, these people were not in 1175 00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:01,360 Speaker 3: this case because they're biggots. Because I'm sorry, Oh, we 1176 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:04,560 Speaker 3: weren't gonna come, but we wanted you to invite us 1177 00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:05,799 Speaker 3: so that we could say. 1178 00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:09,200 Speaker 1: We're not coming to your wedding. What. Yeah, we wanted 1179 00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:12,680 Speaker 1: you to invite us so that we could tell you that, yeah. 1180 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:14,040 Speaker 3: We wanted you to invite us, so that we had 1181 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:17,840 Speaker 3: a chance to be biggots to your face, that's not fair. 1182 00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:21,520 Speaker 2: I told them that I did think about them, and 1183 00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:24,759 Speaker 2: I decided they weren't worth the fifty seven cent postage 1184 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,240 Speaker 2: to be told they weren't going to attend for bigoted reasons. 1185 00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,759 Speaker 2: It would be understanding to say that their reaction was 1186 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:36,239 Speaker 2: less than pleased. Crap hit multiple fans. My uncles went 1187 00:53:36,320 --> 00:53:39,040 Speaker 2: off for being compared to a postage stamp. My dad 1188 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:41,400 Speaker 2: was eating it up. My mom was a little pissy 1189 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,359 Speaker 2: at me for causing a disturbance in her house, though, 1190 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,400 Speaker 2: which unfortunately made me question everything in the moment. 1191 00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,600 Speaker 1: My grandma was giving me the judges in Spanish. Look. 1192 00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:52,200 Speaker 2: My husband kind of grabbed my hand and said, let's 1193 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,040 Speaker 2: get out of here before you piss off any more 1194 00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:56,759 Speaker 2: people in a laughing manner, and proceeded to drive us home. 1195 00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:59,160 Speaker 2: My dad sent me a that's my boy, good on 1196 00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,280 Speaker 2: you for standing up yourself text. My mom was still 1197 00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,120 Speaker 2: less than thrilled about how things went down. My buye 1198 00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 2: uncle sent me a text saying thank you for standing 1199 00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:10,680 Speaker 2: up for me. But now my relationship with my brothers 1200 00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:12,440 Speaker 2: is strained to hack and I didn't want to. 1201 00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:13,319 Speaker 1: My phone and. 1202 00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:16,640 Speaker 2: Social media have been blowing the heck up ever since then, 1203 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,000 Speaker 2: but I'm kind of ignoring it. I do feel bad 1204 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,160 Speaker 2: for my uncle because he just wants to be close 1205 00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:23,920 Speaker 2: with all his brothers and not just one. So Reddit 1206 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,439 Speaker 2: am I the a hole for the how things went down? 1207 00:54:26,520 --> 00:54:29,160 Speaker 2: And there's an edit to broadly state this. I have 1208 00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,960 Speaker 2: apologized to my uncle for using him as an example 1209 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,200 Speaker 2: in what happened, and I truly didn't mean to make 1210 00:54:34,239 --> 00:54:36,920 Speaker 2: things harder for him with his brothers. I also expressed 1211 00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,480 Speaker 2: that it isn't exactly healthy for his well being to 1212 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,439 Speaker 2: want to put up with them, knowing how they feel 1213 00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,840 Speaker 2: about him before any of this happened. He kind of 1214 00:54:43,840 --> 00:54:46,239 Speaker 2: remains silent on the topic, so I'm trying to leave 1215 00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:47,560 Speaker 2: it alone and not force him. 1216 00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,719 Speaker 1: I would say, not the a hole, dude, And I 1217 00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:50,759 Speaker 1: think you're at all the a hole. 1218 00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:54,719 Speaker 2: Your your uncle who's buy is just upset that his 1219 00:54:55,600 --> 00:54:59,120 Speaker 2: you know, manufactured piece is being broken. 1220 00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:02,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like the freaking military, you know. I feel 1221 00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:06,040 Speaker 3: like it's that kind of thing with this family, especially 1222 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,839 Speaker 3: with uncles of like, oh, we're fine right now, we're 1223 00:55:09,920 --> 00:55:13,600 Speaker 3: chill with our Bye brother, uh, because we're not talking 1224 00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:13,960 Speaker 3: about it. 1225 00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,759 Speaker 1: He doesn't bring it out. 1226 00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,520 Speaker 3: We didn't go to his wedding, And as long as 1227 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,319 Speaker 3: we don't even think I have to think about it, 1228 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,239 Speaker 3: then we're gonna let him be near. 1229 00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:24,040 Speaker 2: They're just like, yeah, I'm talking to the straight half 1230 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:25,080 Speaker 2: of my Bye brother. 1231 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,040 Speaker 1: Which is a really frustrating. 1232 00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:28,879 Speaker 3: I think the Bye brother is now having to kind 1233 00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:32,160 Speaker 3: of reckon with like, oh, the second that anything about 1234 00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,000 Speaker 3: my sexuality comes up, They're going to ostracize me and 1235 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:36,680 Speaker 3: blame me, even though I'm not even part of it. 1236 00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,080 Speaker 3: I wasn't even part of that conversation. 1237 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:39,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like talking to someone over here, and then 1238 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:45,320 Speaker 2: they go, you should hear this too. Here's some some comments. 1239 00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,400 Speaker 2: Number one, I'm curious why did they want to be invited? 1240 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:53,080 Speaker 2: Do they really get so much enjoyment out of being like, no, nephew, 1241 00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:56,600 Speaker 2: I don't support your lifestyle, so I'm not going. I 1242 00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:59,120 Speaker 2: would have asked if I had invited you, would you 1243 00:55:59,160 --> 00:55:59,480 Speaker 2: have come? 1244 00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:00,480 Speaker 1: OHP responds. 1245 00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,640 Speaker 2: While there is no for sure way of knowing why 1246 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:06,680 Speaker 2: they wanted to be invited, they are very loudly anti LGBT. 1247 00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:07,800 Speaker 1: It's no secret. 1248 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:11,239 Speaker 2: About half of their Facebook posts and Instagram posts are 1249 00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:13,359 Speaker 2: them making it loud and clear that it's not right. 1250 00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:16,360 Speaker 2: My favorite one was the one that circulated in June 1251 00:56:16,600 --> 00:56:20,280 Speaker 2: with the family under the umbrella protecting them from the rainbow. 1252 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,879 Speaker 2: So between that and my uncle's wedding, I decided it's 1253 00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:25,880 Speaker 2: not even worth inviting them. Comment to not the ahole, 1254 00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:28,239 Speaker 2: but go ahead and apologize to your uncle. You did 1255 00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:29,759 Speaker 2: not really need to bring him up at all. 1256 00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,320 Speaker 1: That's a no. I disagree. 1257 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:36,000 Speaker 3: I mean, like, I understand what they're saying, but also 1258 00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:38,200 Speaker 3: I think it's kind of silly because OPI was saying, 1259 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,000 Speaker 3: you didn't go to this wedding, so why would you 1260 00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:41,000 Speaker 3: have gone to the mind. 1261 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:45,520 Speaker 2: The uncle contextually, Yeah, is what makes his argument in 1262 00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,600 Speaker 2: that moment. Yeah, the spirit is what counts though, Right. 1263 00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,120 Speaker 2: So it sounds like he agrees and loves you for it, 1264 00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:52,840 Speaker 2: but thought that it was a little obnoxious. 1265 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:53,120 Speaker 1: Hope. 1266 00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,239 Speaker 2: He says that I did apologize to him, but I 1267 00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:57,719 Speaker 2: expressed to him that this was kind of unhealthy to 1268 00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,720 Speaker 2: want to be close to people who are so against 1269 00:56:59,760 --> 00:57:02,799 Speaker 2: some thing you can't control. As for the whole obnoxious thing, 1270 00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,640 Speaker 2: I think you may have misunderstood me. 1271 00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:07,000 Speaker 1: Haha. He's the one that's obnoxious about it. 1272 00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:10,600 Speaker 2: He's gotten me several several purple shirts and various articles 1273 00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:12,960 Speaker 2: of clothing that are purple. A couple of years back, 1274 00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,239 Speaker 2: we were watching football I don't know sports, and I 1275 00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,040 Speaker 2: asked him. 1276 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:17,360 Speaker 1: What a bye week is. 1277 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,200 Speaker 2: His response was along the lines of the week where 1278 00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:23,040 Speaker 2: football ares sleep with men, So you better get on 1279 00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:26,360 Speaker 2: over there and get your pick. That kind of obnoxious. 1280 00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:26,840 Speaker 1: Haha. 1281 00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,680 Speaker 2: I'm glad he didn't turn out like my uncles. And 1282 00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:32,600 Speaker 2: there is an update here let's get into him W 1283 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:35,120 Speaker 2: two's and ten ninety nine. So I finally done. I 1284 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,320 Speaker 2: finally have a break to post this. As I guessed, 1285 00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,560 Speaker 2: family did indeed find this Between seven uncles. One of 1286 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:43,280 Speaker 2: my cousins likely showed them the post I originally made. 1287 00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:44,840 Speaker 2: It was obviously not received. 1288 00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,760 Speaker 1: Well. Anyways, I'm just going to go down the list 1289 00:57:47,880 --> 00:57:50,320 Speaker 1: and order of things or events that have happened with 1290 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:52,720 Speaker 1: my dad. First off, he wanted me to tell you 1291 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,320 Speaker 1: all that he loved all the support and that he 1292 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:57,480 Speaker 1: wishes to dad all of you as well. 1293 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,840 Speaker 2: His words quote it took two of us to make 1294 00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:02,080 Speaker 2: you And I gotta say I love my work. Any 1295 00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:03,800 Speaker 2: parent that doesn't should never have tried. 1296 00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:06,880 Speaker 1: Well, your dad sounds like such a crazy walking double Yeah. 1297 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:07,440 Speaker 1: I love that. 1298 00:58:07,880 --> 00:58:10,720 Speaker 2: My mom she has called me asking why I brought 1299 00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:13,040 Speaker 2: up the events of my uncle's wedding. I told her 1300 00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:14,960 Speaker 2: that I was simply having a good time with my 1301 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:18,240 Speaker 2: husband and everyone else, that my uncles made the conscious 1302 00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:20,640 Speaker 2: decision to want to start a problem. She got mad 1303 00:58:20,680 --> 00:58:22,600 Speaker 2: and said she just wanted to have a good party. 1304 00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:24,640 Speaker 2: I told her that I didn't want to be attacked 1305 00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:27,960 Speaker 2: for my spicy proclivities and not inviting blatant bigots to 1306 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,160 Speaker 2: my wedding. But that I'm glad to hear that the 1307 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:33,200 Speaker 2: party meant moretier. Oh, I mean, well, let's I think 1308 00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:34,360 Speaker 2: maybe pump the brakes on that. 1309 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:37,400 Speaker 1: As a host. Yeah, but as a host you understand 1310 00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:38,720 Speaker 1: to a certain extent. 1311 00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,360 Speaker 3: But also if one of my you know, the people 1312 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,080 Speaker 3: at my parties was being attacked for their identity, I'd 1313 00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,040 Speaker 3: be like, the other person, get out of there, Like 1314 00:58:46,080 --> 00:58:49,080 Speaker 3: I would blame the uncles more than the person being attacked. 1315 00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:53,360 Speaker 1: That's true, But you're also not like the Latino elderly mother. 1316 00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,439 Speaker 3: Which yeah, this is yeah, this is a different type 1317 00:58:55,480 --> 00:59:00,280 Speaker 3: of you know, probably just explicitly as a host, strip 1318 00:59:00,320 --> 00:59:01,000 Speaker 3: your personality. 1319 00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:05,120 Speaker 1: Someone's making drama, someone's involved in drama. Anyway, let's just continue. 1320 00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:05,520 Speaker 1: I don't know. 1321 00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:07,520 Speaker 2: We got into a shouting match over the phone. I 1322 00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,120 Speaker 2: told my dad what happened, and he's livid with her. 1323 00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:11,920 Speaker 2: They got into a fight, and now she's staying at 1324 00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,840 Speaker 2: my grandma's. I've apologized profusely to my dad, but he's 1325 00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,959 Speaker 2: telling me to let it go and that I've done 1326 00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,880 Speaker 2: nothing wrong. Above all else. This is what hurts the most. 1327 00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,400 Speaker 2: She was always very supportive of me, and it feels 1328 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:25,400 Speaker 2: like a massive bombshell was just dropped out of nowhere. 1329 00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,160 Speaker 3: You can just have another conversation with her, because if 1330 00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:30,840 Speaker 3: she's you know, she's not not supportive of you now, 1331 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,400 Speaker 3: I'm sure she just doesn't really understand that this was 1332 00:59:33,440 --> 00:59:35,400 Speaker 3: a thing that needed to be said right and that 1333 00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:38,120 Speaker 3: this wasn't something that you were trying to create drama over. 1334 00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:39,640 Speaker 1: It was just you were defending yourself. 1335 00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:41,920 Speaker 2: And that is a much more eloquent way of saying, 1336 00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,840 Speaker 2: just pump the brakes, because there's a lot of politics 1337 00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:46,800 Speaker 2: that go into how she's feeling about this, and it's like, 1338 00:59:46,840 --> 00:59:49,320 Speaker 2: I'm sure she supports you and your decisions. 1339 00:59:49,520 --> 00:59:52,880 Speaker 1: My bye uncle. Unbeknownst to me, my husband invited him 1340 00:59:52,920 --> 00:59:54,400 Speaker 1: over so he and I could have a heart to 1341 00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:55,640 Speaker 1: heart about what happened. 1342 00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,720 Speaker 2: It annoyed me a little bit, but I'm glad he 1343 00:59:57,800 --> 00:59:59,880 Speaker 2: invited him over. We talked about the post I May 1344 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:03,000 Speaker 2: and he saw everyone's comments. According to him, it kind 1345 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,200 Speaker 2: of opened him up to the crap he was just 1346 01:00:05,280 --> 01:00:07,479 Speaker 2: ignoring so he could pretend to have a close bond 1347 01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:09,720 Speaker 2: with all his brothers. At the same time, though he's 1348 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:10,919 Speaker 2: still not sure what to. 1349 01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:11,520 Speaker 1: Do from here. 1350 01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:13,360 Speaker 2: We talked for a few hours and had a good 1351 01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:15,920 Speaker 2: cry hug about it. Everything is good on that front, 1352 01:00:16,000 --> 01:00:18,680 Speaker 2: and it makes me happy. He'll be seeking therapy to 1353 01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:21,040 Speaker 2: help him deal with his feelings on this and the 1354 01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:26,080 Speaker 2: other uncles. Obviously, they are livid with me. They couldn't 1355 01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,840 Speaker 2: believe that I post something like that, blasting them on 1356 01:00:28,880 --> 01:00:31,040 Speaker 2: the internet. They said they didn't like being painted the 1357 01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:31,920 Speaker 2: way I posted them. 1358 01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,640 Speaker 3: Oh no, then maybe you shouldn't have sat for that 1359 01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:38,440 Speaker 3: painting the way that you did. 1360 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:42,920 Speaker 1: Oh no, oh no? Why wait? Why did you tell 1361 01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,400 Speaker 1: everyone that we're biggods? We like to keep that low key? 1362 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:48,800 Speaker 1: Why'd you do that? I didn't want everyone to know. 1363 01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:51,240 Speaker 2: I just straight up asked them if they thought my 1364 01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:54,160 Speaker 2: bye uncle was going to the Lake of Fire because 1365 01:00:54,200 --> 01:00:55,840 Speaker 2: of his marriage, and to my shock, they had no 1366 01:00:55,880 --> 01:01:00,000 Speaker 2: problem saying yes. They didn't even try to dance around it. 1367 01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:02,280 Speaker 2: In the end, I told them if they didn't want 1368 01:01:02,320 --> 01:01:05,720 Speaker 2: to be painted as bigots, to lose the religious bigoted act, 1369 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,640 Speaker 2: plain and simple. My husband has been NonStop trying to 1370 01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,160 Speaker 2: comfort me after the shouting match with my mom. He 1371 01:01:11,200 --> 01:01:13,240 Speaker 2: can see the immense pain I'm in. I love that 1372 01:01:13,320 --> 01:01:15,560 Speaker 2: man very much, though he took me out for. 1373 01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:17,960 Speaker 1: Steak and old fashions the other night to help get 1374 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:20,360 Speaker 1: me relaxed. That's all, folks. Thank you. 1375 01:01:20,600 --> 01:01:23,320 Speaker 2: By the way, if you want to listen to full 1376 01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:25,480 Speaker 2: episodes with stories like this, all you have to do 1377 01:01:25,760 --> 01:01:30,280 Speaker 2: is go to iHeartRadio or Spotify or Apple Podcasts, wherever 1378 01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:32,920 Speaker 2: you listen to podcasts, search Okay, story Time and you 1379 01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:33,840 Speaker 2: will find. 1380 01:01:33,720 --> 01:01:36,880 Speaker 1: The entire collection, the entire archive. 1381 01:01:37,160 --> 01:01:40,280 Speaker 2: It's over twelve hundred hours now, so have fun listening 1382 01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:40,520 Speaker 2: to that. 1383 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,680 Speaker 1: There is a little bit of story left. Sophia, do 1384 01:01:42,720 --> 01:01:46,680 Speaker 1: you have anything to any final comments that here? Don't 1385 01:01:46,680 --> 01:01:48,120 Speaker 1: listen to your uncles. 1386 01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,840 Speaker 3: They're gonna, they're gonna, you know, dude, like I've got, 1387 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:54,280 Speaker 3: I've got a lot of religious family and have heard 1388 01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,800 Speaker 3: have heard things over the years. You just gotta kind 1389 01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:59,120 Speaker 3: of tune those people out. And maybe you know, you 1390 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:00,920 Speaker 3: don't have to be a them if you don't want 1391 01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:02,160 Speaker 3: to be around them and if they're. 1392 01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:04,480 Speaker 1: Not going to be supportive. But yeah, I think you 1393 01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,520 Speaker 1: could definitely have a conversation with your mom about this, 1394 01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:07,760 Speaker 1: And that's my final thought. 1395 01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:09,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, for me, I'd say number one thing is like, 1396 01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:12,840 Speaker 2: I think, just try to salvage the situation with your 1397 01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:16,120 Speaker 2: mom right now, because it really if and it's probably 1398 01:02:16,160 --> 01:02:18,520 Speaker 2: her brothers, yeah, which is probably why she's a little 1399 01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:20,480 Speaker 2: more defense about it. But it's like, I don't know, 1400 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:23,040 Speaker 2: I think, make her understand why you did what you 1401 01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:23,800 Speaker 2: did and where you're. 1402 01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:26,439 Speaker 1: Coming from, and then try your best to forgive. 1403 01:02:26,120 --> 01:02:28,880 Speaker 2: Her because it was, like, I don't know, it just 1404 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,520 Speaker 2: feels like if it continues to go downhill from here, 1405 01:02:31,640 --> 01:02:34,800 Speaker 2: it's you don't want your uncle's stupidity to be why 1406 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:37,840 Speaker 2: your relationship with your mom has gone downhill, you know 1407 01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:39,920 Speaker 2: what I mean? Like, I don't know, but you know, 1408 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:41,760 Speaker 2: you're also in the right to be Like you didn't 1409 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,520 Speaker 2: stick up for me when I needed you to. 1410 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:46,640 Speaker 1: What's up with that? Like, you're your right to be upset, 1411 01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:49,680 Speaker 1: but I it's your that's a that's a pickle for sure. 1412 01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:50,960 Speaker 1: Let's finish off this story. 1413 01:02:50,720 --> 01:02:53,280 Speaker 2: Though, Hello everyone, this blew up way bigger than the 1414 01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:54,160 Speaker 2: original post did. 1415 01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:54,800 Speaker 1: God dang. 1416 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,560 Speaker 2: I definitely appreciate all the love and support I've received 1417 01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:00,240 Speaker 2: from everyone in the comments. As of this edit, I've 1418 01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:03,160 Speaker 2: decided to put some distance between myself and a lot 1419 01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:05,360 Speaker 2: of family My dad is in support of this and 1420 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,720 Speaker 2: will be coming over to my place more often than 1421 01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,200 Speaker 2: me going over to his and my mom's to visit. 1422 01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:13,480 Speaker 2: As for everything else, I've got my husband, magic, the gathering, 1423 01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,560 Speaker 2: and a nice bottle of Crown winter wheat to help 1424 01:03:16,640 --> 01:03:20,480 Speaker 2: deal with everything else. Seriously, thank you everyone. Words cannot 1425 01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,080 Speaker 2: express how awesome all of you are. And that is 1426 01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:24,480 Speaker 2: the end of that story. 1427 01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,400 Speaker 1: Well there we go. I I have it. I feel 1428 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:29,080 Speaker 1: like I feel like you. You know what to do. Maybe, Yes, 1429 01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:31,320 Speaker 1: the heart's in the right place. You got a great part. Now, 1430 01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:33,320 Speaker 1: you got a great dad, you got a good great uncle, 1431 01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:35,240 Speaker 1: and you know this one. And we just send mom 1432 01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:39,640 Speaker 1: to the moon. We just gona take a little little think. Yes, 1433 01:03:39,960 --> 01:03:41,439 Speaker 1: come come back, come right back. 1434 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,920 Speaker 3: It's gonna be like, hey, sorry about that. My brother 1435 01:03:45,160 --> 01:03:47,360 Speaker 3: stole from me. Now he wants back. 1436 01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:50,479 Speaker 1: In my life. Oh uh, it's too bad, so sad 1437 01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:52,040 Speaker 1: to try to steal your way back in. 1438 01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,920 Speaker 3: Most of this happened very recently, so for background, my 1439 01:03:54,960 --> 01:03:56,960 Speaker 3: brother Andrew and I used to work for the same 1440 01:03:57,000 --> 01:04:00,680 Speaker 3: company which was contracting. I did all the scheduling, advertising, 1441 01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,920 Speaker 3: and relayed any complaints that came my way to the 1442 01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:05,880 Speaker 3: right person By the way. This comes from Just Winter 1443 01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:07,840 Speaker 3: eighty three seventy nine, and if you want to submit 1444 01:04:07,880 --> 01:04:10,560 Speaker 3: your own stories, go to r slash. Okay, Storytime suppered it. So, 1445 01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:13,680 Speaker 3: for instance, if a customer complained about the paint bleeding through, 1446 01:04:13,760 --> 01:04:16,960 Speaker 3: which happened once because the guy had electrical problems that 1447 01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,640 Speaker 3: caused a fire and gave the walls smoke damage, I 1448 01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,120 Speaker 3: had to handle it. The guy bought the wrong paint 1449 01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,720 Speaker 3: and the wall's bled. Needless to say, it was a 1450 01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,439 Speaker 3: nightmare job. I did all of that for a few 1451 01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:30,240 Speaker 3: years with BS pay and all kinds of nonsense, like 1452 01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,240 Speaker 3: the boss blowing off estimates, make me lie to customers 1453 01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:35,880 Speaker 3: because they wouldn't leave in time, or making me lie 1454 01:04:35,880 --> 01:04:38,480 Speaker 3: for some other reason. It was complete BS to be honest. 1455 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:41,240 Speaker 3: After a while, the boss gained an unhealthy habit, so 1456 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:43,280 Speaker 3: my brother and I took over for a little while. 1457 01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,720 Speaker 3: Andrew didn't like to go to estimates, so I had 1458 01:04:45,720 --> 01:04:48,360 Speaker 3: my boyfriend go and we would split a percentage. Andrew 1459 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,640 Speaker 3: would then get upset if too many things came in 1460 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:52,600 Speaker 3: at once and he had to figure out a lot, 1461 01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:55,280 Speaker 3: but he would also complain if nothing came in. Whenever 1462 01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:58,000 Speaker 3: my boyfriend was busy and couldn't go. I'd ask Andrew 1463 01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:00,000 Speaker 3: and he would cuss me out, asking why there were 1464 01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:01,360 Speaker 3: so many I was he even working here? 1465 01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:01,520 Speaker 2: Man? 1466 01:05:01,640 --> 01:05:03,120 Speaker 1: He's like, why are there things for me to so 1467 01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:06,440 Speaker 1: people are just employed with no explanation. He would then 1468 01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:09,520 Speaker 1: ask why my boyfriend couldn't go, even when my boyfriend 1469 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,280 Speaker 1: was already out or working. Andrew never understood that. 1470 01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,560 Speaker 3: So I had to make a plan where we used 1471 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:16,920 Speaker 3: street view to look at houses to see what was wrong. 1472 01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:18,720 Speaker 1: Sometimes Andrew would tell. 1473 01:05:18,560 --> 01:05:21,480 Speaker 3: Me, oh, well, I'd have to see it, then proceed 1474 01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,960 Speaker 3: to not see it, but still ask me where the 1475 01:05:24,000 --> 01:05:26,080 Speaker 3: work was. I had to do that song and dance 1476 01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,560 Speaker 3: for like two months, at least for once, I got 1477 01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:32,880 Speaker 3: paid correctly whenever he would work. One day, Andrew did 1478 01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:35,160 Speaker 3: a job that I had gotten him, ceiling and fixing 1479 01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:37,520 Speaker 3: a lady's gutters. He got paid by the lady, but 1480 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:40,400 Speaker 3: I never saw my cut. Later, he borrowed gas money 1481 01:05:40,400 --> 01:05:42,600 Speaker 3: from me, promising he would have my money for both 1482 01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:45,680 Speaker 3: later that week. I still haven't seen it to this day. 1483 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,560 Speaker 3: Now to the backstabbing part of the story, Andrew and 1484 01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:51,600 Speaker 3: I live together with my boyfriend, our dad, and his girlfriend. 1485 01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,200 Speaker 3: It was easier since we all worked for the same company. 1486 01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:57,160 Speaker 3: We used our work money to pay rent, utilities, et cetera. 1487 01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,560 Speaker 3: Most of the time the boss just paid and said 1488 01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:01,400 Speaker 3: it was taken out of our pay. But when the 1489 01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:04,880 Speaker 3: boss developed that that habit I mentioned before and stopped paying, 1490 01:06:05,080 --> 01:06:09,320 Speaker 3: we had taken on all the financial responsibilities. Let's just 1491 01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:12,880 Speaker 3: say Andrew didn't like that. He preferred to party and 1492 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,520 Speaker 3: go out drinking instead of paying what needed to be paid, 1493 01:06:15,560 --> 01:06:17,800 Speaker 3: and we got behind with the landlord, causing a lot 1494 01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,080 Speaker 3: of stress in the house. I liked to party and 1495 01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,240 Speaker 3: drink from time to time too, but I always made 1496 01:06:22,280 --> 01:06:24,640 Speaker 3: sure work came first. I also made sure I only 1497 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:27,720 Speaker 3: did it on weekends so it wouldn't interfere with anything important. 1498 01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:30,320 Speaker 3: I even helped Andrew build a home bar so we 1499 01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:32,600 Speaker 3: and our friends had somewhere to drink. I also paid 1500 01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,360 Speaker 3: for most of the stuff so Andrew could have a 1501 01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:35,080 Speaker 3: Halloween party. 1502 01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,240 Speaker 1: I ended up making. 1503 01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,200 Speaker 3: A Hail Mary ad because work wasn't coming in. I 1504 01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,960 Speaker 3: basically told people that bills were piling up, which they were, 1505 01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,360 Speaker 3: and that we had skills, just needed work to get 1506 01:06:45,360 --> 01:06:46,120 Speaker 3: through the holidays. 1507 01:06:46,480 --> 01:06:53,240 Speaker 1: Needless to say, Andrew hated this. Did he did he now. 1508 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,960 Speaker 3: Even though it brought in at least thirty estimates. He 1509 01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,320 Speaker 3: told me, why would you post this? It hurts my 1510 01:06:58,400 --> 01:06:59,720 Speaker 3: pride as a man. 1511 01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:04,080 Speaker 1: Oh, it hurts my human pride. No, it should motivate 1512 01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:07,000 Speaker 1: you to change. Yeah, maybe you should do better, dude. 1513 01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:09,280 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, It's a wake up call. Come on. 1514 01:07:09,400 --> 01:07:12,200 Speaker 3: Andrew begged me to take the ad down. I refuse 1515 01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:14,520 Speaker 3: because the bills needed to be paid and nothing else 1516 01:07:14,600 --> 01:07:17,280 Speaker 3: was working. He eventually relented because of all the estimates 1517 01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:19,760 Speaker 3: coming in, but then proceeded to blow off all the 1518 01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:22,280 Speaker 3: ones he needed to see in person. I like, can 1519 01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:23,800 Speaker 3: you fire him? Can you kick him out? 1520 01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:24,840 Speaker 1: What does he have? Tenure? 1521 01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:25,760 Speaker 2: Like? What is this? 1522 01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:28,000 Speaker 3: I ended up with only a little money to pay 1523 01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:30,240 Speaker 3: the landlord, so I called him and gave him what 1524 01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:32,320 Speaker 3: I had. I told the landlord he would get the 1525 01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:34,160 Speaker 3: rest when we had it, and assured him we had 1526 01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:36,600 Speaker 3: other estimates that would help cover the rest. Everyone in 1527 01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:39,240 Speaker 3: the house was responsible for paying three hundred dollars. Since 1528 01:07:39,280 --> 01:07:43,200 Speaker 3: rent also covered gas, sewage, garbage and water, cable, internet, phone, 1529 01:07:43,240 --> 01:07:47,240 Speaker 3: and electricity was separate, Andrew continued to not pay his share. 1530 01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:48,200 Speaker 1: One time, I. 1531 01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:50,480 Speaker 3: Was lucky to get fifty dollars off him, and I 1532 01:07:50,560 --> 01:07:53,560 Speaker 3: practically had to beg for it. Now, this is the 1533 01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:56,880 Speaker 3: day before Christmas, Andrew and my father conspired a plan. 1534 01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:59,479 Speaker 3: The landlord came by to check on things and talk 1535 01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:02,040 Speaker 3: those to talk to him. I don't know what was said, 1536 01:08:02,280 --> 01:08:04,920 Speaker 3: and then came in and told me, thanks to you 1537 01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:08,000 Speaker 3: talking all kinds of bs the landlord, now we all 1538 01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:08,560 Speaker 3: have to move. 1539 01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,160 Speaker 1: They refuse to tell me what was said. 1540 01:08:11,360 --> 01:08:14,960 Speaker 3: I mean, oh my gosh, well, but they're probably just 1541 01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:18,600 Speaker 3: being you know, super awful and being like we're not 1542 01:08:18,640 --> 01:08:19,960 Speaker 3: gonna pay or something like that. 1543 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:23,559 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure that's not your fault telling you what 1544 01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:24,800 Speaker 2: happened get into there, just. 1545 01:08:24,760 --> 01:08:25,599 Speaker 1: Like this is your fault. 1546 01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:27,960 Speaker 3: You're the one pang. He's not Bang, or Andrew isn't Bang. 1547 01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,520 Speaker 3: It stressed me out, and if it weren't for my boyfriend, 1548 01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:32,200 Speaker 3: I don't know how I would have handled it. 1549 01:08:32,400 --> 01:08:34,240 Speaker 1: He helped a lot. 1550 01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:37,000 Speaker 3: After calming down, I called the landlord and asked him 1551 01:08:37,040 --> 01:08:39,280 Speaker 3: what the issue was. He just said I don't want 1552 01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:41,640 Speaker 3: any drama. I just want ret paid and told me 1553 01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:44,240 Speaker 3: I did nothing wrong. At that point, I felt so 1554 01:08:44,560 --> 01:08:47,680 Speaker 3: betrayed by Andrew and my father. I started packing my 1555 01:08:47,760 --> 01:08:50,800 Speaker 3: stuff because I couldn't take the drama anymore. I guess 1556 01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:53,360 Speaker 3: Andrew and my father didn't take it seriously. But when 1557 01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:55,320 Speaker 3: they saw me taking my things out to the truck, 1558 01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:58,639 Speaker 3: they realized I was actually leaving and tried to tell 1559 01:08:58,680 --> 01:09:01,639 Speaker 3: me they loved and would before I left. I ran 1560 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:04,040 Speaker 3: one more ad and set up all the scheduling. Then 1561 01:09:04,080 --> 01:09:05,680 Speaker 3: I told them I was quitting and that. 1562 01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,200 Speaker 1: They were on their own from now on. They didn't 1563 01:09:08,240 --> 01:09:11,960 Speaker 1: believe me. My father said, you could just work remotely, 1564 01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:14,200 Speaker 1: and I said, nope, I'm done with all the constant 1565 01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:17,000 Speaker 1: work drama. I think that is the pausing for a second, 1566 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,960 Speaker 1: that is the best move, because it seems like working 1567 01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:22,360 Speaker 1: and living with these people is a nightmare. 1568 01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:25,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, if you can remove half of your exposure, that's great. 1569 01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:27,920 Speaker 2: I mean work drama a place where you work where 1570 01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:31,720 Speaker 2: it's constantly dramatic. This sucks anyway, like let's and it's 1571 01:09:31,760 --> 01:09:34,080 Speaker 2: I'm mostly thinking, I'm no, I'm not thinking about this 1572 01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:34,559 Speaker 2: at all. 1573 01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:38,120 Speaker 1: I'm thinking about specifically the restaurant industry. 1574 01:09:38,360 --> 01:09:42,720 Speaker 2: It's like working at a dramatic restaurant is the most annoying, 1575 01:09:43,560 --> 01:09:47,080 Speaker 2: draining thing, like on top of the work already. Yeah, 1576 01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:49,559 Speaker 2: it's just like I mean, it's sales. It can get bad, 1577 01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,599 Speaker 2: but like I haven't done as many all the restaurant jobs. 1578 01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:54,600 Speaker 2: As soon as it gets like drama, drama, drama, it's like, 1579 01:09:54,760 --> 01:09:55,760 Speaker 2: just go get a different one. 1580 01:09:55,840 --> 01:09:59,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, man, Because ever I heard everyone's always into each 1581 01:09:59,280 --> 01:09:59,760 Speaker 3: other too. 1582 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:00,559 Speaker 1: At the restaurant. 1583 01:10:00,600 --> 01:10:03,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, their Kimio was eating kim The day I was leaving, 1584 01:10:03,920 --> 01:10:06,559 Speaker 3: Andrew was in shock. I asked him if the bills 1585 01:10:06,560 --> 01:10:10,559 Speaker 3: were paid and he told me, yeesh, when they weren't. 1586 01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:14,080 Speaker 3: I found that out later. Andrew also got upset that 1587 01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:15,960 Speaker 3: I was taking my dog, who had been in the 1588 01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:18,400 Speaker 3: family for ten years at that point, but they didn't 1589 01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:20,800 Speaker 3: take care of her well since they all had their 1590 01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:23,320 Speaker 3: own dogs. They let their dogs pee and poop all 1591 01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:25,879 Speaker 3: over the house, and I was always the one cleaning. 1592 01:10:25,920 --> 01:10:29,040 Speaker 3: At Yoicks, they dirtied all the dishes and I had 1593 01:10:29,080 --> 01:10:31,519 Speaker 3: to clean them. My boyfriend helped, but Andrew would cook, 1594 01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:33,479 Speaker 3: leave the dishes out and not even put them in 1595 01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,519 Speaker 3: the sink or put away the food he used. Then 1596 01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:36,280 Speaker 3: he would ask. 1597 01:10:36,120 --> 01:10:38,080 Speaker 1: Me, why can't you do any dishes today? 1598 01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:41,040 Speaker 3: I always made sure I cleaned mine, but Andrew never did. 1599 01:10:41,479 --> 01:10:43,080 Speaker 1: It always fell on me. 1600 01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:45,680 Speaker 3: After I left, Andrew kept checking in on me and 1601 01:10:45,760 --> 01:10:47,960 Speaker 3: asking where I was moving. I didn't want to tell him, 1602 01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:49,720 Speaker 3: but he wouldn't drop it, so I made sure my 1603 01:10:49,760 --> 01:10:52,160 Speaker 3: boyfriend was okay with it first, and then told him. 1604 01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:55,040 Speaker 3: My boyfriend didn't like Andrew because Andrew would always hit 1605 01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,800 Speaker 3: on him when I was asleep and Andrew wasted. Even 1606 01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,080 Speaker 3: though Andrew claimed he was straight, he would only do 1607 01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:01,520 Speaker 3: it when intoxicated. 1608 01:11:01,720 --> 01:11:07,320 Speaker 1: Wait, whoa, Andrew, what are you doing? That's your sister's boyfriend. 1609 01:11:07,439 --> 01:11:07,920 Speaker 1: Hold up. 1610 01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:11,360 Speaker 3: He also had a self centered, arrogant attitude that rubbed 1611 01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:14,120 Speaker 3: my boyfriend the wrong way. Later, my boyfriend told me 1612 01:11:14,120 --> 01:11:17,840 Speaker 3: that Andrew had thousands hidden away but couldn't help pay rent. 1613 01:11:18,080 --> 01:11:20,840 Speaker 3: A few days after the move, Andrew called and just 1614 01:11:20,880 --> 01:11:23,439 Speaker 3: so happened to be going on a vacation where I 1615 01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:23,960 Speaker 3: had moved. 1616 01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:24,880 Speaker 1: I didn't buy it. 1617 01:11:24,960 --> 01:11:27,200 Speaker 3: My boyfriend didn't want him coming by, so I didn't 1618 01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:29,120 Speaker 3: give him a yes or no. I sent Andrew our 1619 01:11:29,120 --> 01:11:32,519 Speaker 3: house rules. No smoking inside, cleanup spills if you break it, 1620 01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:34,960 Speaker 3: you buy it, don't be too loud, keep food and 1621 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:38,200 Speaker 3: drinks off the couch, and no booze inside. He never responded, 1622 01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:40,559 Speaker 3: so I guess you didn't like them. That was a 1623 01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,599 Speaker 3: big no no for me, since I keep thous clean 1624 01:11:42,600 --> 01:11:45,200 Speaker 3: and don't want him or his friends messing it up. 1625 01:11:45,280 --> 01:11:47,960 Speaker 3: But you guys would never mess anything up if you 1626 01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:50,559 Speaker 3: listened to full episodes with stories just like this. Just 1627 01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:53,599 Speaker 3: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app 1628 01:11:53,600 --> 01:11:55,160 Speaker 3: which might be iHeartRadio as. 1629 01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:58,839 Speaker 1: Well, and search a bunky storytime. But there's a litttle 1630 01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:01,040 Speaker 1: bit left of this story? Do you have any This 1631 01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:06,400 Speaker 1: guy is a terrible roommate. Yea your brother so you know, coworker. 1632 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:09,280 Speaker 2: If you take away the brotherness, it's like, yeah, take 1633 01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:11,960 Speaker 2: the kid gloves off, just treat him like a normal guy. 1634 01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:13,559 Speaker 1: But let's finish the story. 1635 01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:16,479 Speaker 3: I ended up going no contact after that because I 1636 01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:18,760 Speaker 3: didn't want to deal with any drama he might bring. 1637 01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:21,280 Speaker 3: I also asked for my back pace since he obviously 1638 01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:23,960 Speaker 3: had the money, but he never responded. So am I 1639 01:12:24,040 --> 01:12:26,680 Speaker 3: the a hole for going no contact and not trusting him? 1640 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:27,000 Speaker 1: Also? 1641 01:12:27,040 --> 01:12:29,240 Speaker 3: Should I discuss him and his friend's visiting if my 1642 01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:30,320 Speaker 3: boyfriend doesn't like him? 1643 01:12:30,479 --> 01:12:33,200 Speaker 2: I think, Uh, if you go no contact, you should 1644 01:12:33,200 --> 01:12:36,760 Speaker 2: make it explicitly clear why you don't just go no 1645 01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:41,120 Speaker 2: contact like and don't explain explain why you're doing. 1646 01:12:40,920 --> 01:12:44,559 Speaker 1: It like, here's what you could do to fix it. 1647 01:12:45,800 --> 01:12:49,200 Speaker 1: Here's what you could do to address You're part of 1648 01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:52,120 Speaker 1: the equation. Here what seems like. 1649 01:12:52,200 --> 01:12:56,200 Speaker 3: And then he offered, you know, pretty reasonable boundaries for 1650 01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:59,200 Speaker 3: the brother coming to visit, saying like hey, okay, you 1651 01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:00,240 Speaker 3: can come visit, but these are. 1652 01:13:00,160 --> 01:13:02,559 Speaker 1: The rules, and you never responded. It's like, okay, you've 1653 01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:03,920 Speaker 1: done You've done what you can