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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 2: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationships and

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Speaker 2: what it's like to be siblings.

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Speaker 3: We are a sibling.

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Speaker 2: Ravalry.

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Speaker 1: No, no, sibling. Don't do that with your mouth, revelry.

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Speaker 2: That's good, there's Oliver Hudson. Welcome back to another hour

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Speaker 2: of this sweet, sweet, sultry voice. I've changed everything about myself.

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Speaker 2: I am no longer the fun loving, happy go lucky

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Speaker 2: man who makes jokes self deprecating. No, I am now serious.

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Speaker 2: I'm a conspiracy theorist. I have thoughts that no one

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Speaker 2: wants to hear. When you get into my mind, the

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Speaker 2: first thing you're going to want to do is get

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Speaker 2: the fuck out. That's who I've become. My name is

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Speaker 2: Holliver oh Hudson now, and I have changed my identity. No,

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Speaker 2: I haven't. It's just me in Colorado. Just got back

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Speaker 2: from Cape cod was with my in laws. Normally you

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Speaker 2: hear that and think, oh my god, rough it's the opposite.

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Speaker 2: My in laws are the greatest. We have a really

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Speaker 2: fun guest today, Ryan Traynor. Egan is his sister. If

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Speaker 2: you don't know who she is and just stopless listening.

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Speaker 2: And they were on both of them with my sister

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Speaker 2: when I couldn't be, when I couldn't do the show.

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Speaker 2: So now Ryan and I are going to sort of

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Speaker 2: chop it up about what it's like to be second fiddle.

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Speaker 2: I think that's why he wants to talk to me again.

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Speaker 2: I think he needs to relate to someone whose sister

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Speaker 2: is more famous than they are. That is my guess.

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Speaker 2: But let's find out. All right, let's find out. Bring

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Speaker 2: him on, open that goddamn door. So how are you, brother?

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 1: Dude?

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Speaker 3: I'm fantastic. I mean, I'm chilling that I'm in the

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Speaker 3: studio that we have at Meghan's house. Naturally Megan Trainer

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Speaker 3: my sister, that's you know. And we had done this

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Speaker 3: podcast before and I was very excited to meet you

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Speaker 3: because I think the secret to life is you want

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Speaker 3: to have You got to have mentors in your life, right,

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Speaker 3: people you look up to and that you could ask

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Speaker 3: for help. And I was hoping by the end, by

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Speaker 3: the end of this podcast, I could eventually be like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I'm out side. We don't have to be

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Speaker 3: buddy buddy buddies. But if I could just call you

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Speaker 3: from time to time and say, hey, how do I

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Speaker 3: do this? How do I do this? Brother thing? How

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Speaker 3: do I do this?

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Speaker 2: Man? Because I like this? I like this.

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Speaker 3: It's been a while journey. You know, it's been ten years,

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Speaker 3: and a lot has changed in the last three for

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Speaker 3: me because at first, you know, she calls me up.

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Speaker 3: She says, hey, drop out of college, move to LA.

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Speaker 3: This is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna be a

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Speaker 3: pop star. You're in the Entourage, and Entourage is one

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Speaker 3: of my favorite shows. And you know, we grew up

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Speaker 3: East Coast kids, So.

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Speaker 2: I was how long ago was this?

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Speaker 3: That was ten years ago?

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Speaker 2: So Megan was just like, I'm gonna be I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: make it. I'm gonna be a fucking pop star, So

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Speaker 2: just come along for the ride.

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Speaker 3: There was a specific moment. Okay, so I'm a I'm

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Speaker 3: a cocktail waitress at Galli Beach and Nantucket. It's me

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Speaker 3: and three girls and and uh, summer in my life. Dude,

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Speaker 3: twenty one years old. Come on, I'm walking on. I go,

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Speaker 3: you know, nice table group of women. I gotta start

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Speaker 3: the fire here, Oh Ryan's starting the fire?

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Speaker 2: Who we go?

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Speaker 3: It was the dream and she calls me up and

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Speaker 3: I'm on the beach and she's like, hey, you know

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Speaker 3: Justin Bieber And this is when vine was the thing.

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Speaker 3: There's a vine going viral. Justin Bieber remixed my song

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Speaker 3: I'm famous. Now I need you to move out to LA.

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Speaker 3: This is it. And that was like the exact moment.

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Speaker 3: And of course I just asked the bartenders I worked with, Hey,

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Speaker 3: should I drop out of college and move to LA

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Speaker 3: And they say, yeah, no brainer. You know, I could

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Speaker 3: have probably asked some more people.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's enough. Just the bartenders, you know, forget

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Speaker 2: about your parents, forget about anyone else. It's like, take

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Speaker 2: their word for it. What were you studying in college?

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Speaker 3: Advertising in pr I was like my fourth major. I

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Speaker 3: was very bad at college, dude.

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Speaker 2: I mean I got expelled from high school and then

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Speaker 2: going to Boulder and went two years and I was done.

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Speaker 2: I knew that, you know, college was not for me

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Speaker 2: and academics was definitely not my strong suit.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, same boat. I mean, I got into Boulder, but

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Speaker 3: it was very expensive, and I told my mom because

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Speaker 3: my mom loved that school, I go, Mom, Unfortunately, if

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Speaker 3: you send me here, it'll be a complete waste of

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Speaker 3: money because this that was the first state to like,

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Speaker 3: uh make marijuana medicinal. Ya go, I'm just gonna burn

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Speaker 3: my way out of that school. Don't don't send me there. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so that you know, then I just go to Florida

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Speaker 3: instead and just picked up all sorts of different fun habits,

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Speaker 3: more more high speed.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit higher octanement.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yep. Would have been way better off going

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Speaker 3: to Colorado. Actually, it's just like skied and smoked a

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Speaker 3: little pot. Of course, it was polar opposite, yep. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: dropping out of college was was pretty easy for me.

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Speaker 2: But when Megan was like drop out, come with me?

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Speaker 2: I mean, were you like cool? But to do? What?

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Speaker 2: What am I doing with you? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Thankfully her manager at the time, Troy Carter, gave me

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Speaker 3: an opportunity to be an intern at his company, so

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Speaker 3: I at least had something to do initially. Now unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: so I'm a recovering alcoholic, right, I'm three years sober,

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Speaker 3: and to move thank you, to move to la I

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Speaker 3: did not. I had many opportunities thrown my way and

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Speaker 3: that was one of them, and it was the first one,

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Speaker 3: and I did not really understand how special it was

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Speaker 3: to be inside one of those, you know, talent management buildings,

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Speaker 3: and I did not sort of rise to the occasion, Okay.

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Speaker 3: I just went out constantly. So I was showing up

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Speaker 3: to work run rolling at like fifty percent, and you know,

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Speaker 3: that ended, and I really was doing nothing, and I

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Speaker 3: would get into fights with my dad. He's like, you

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Speaker 3: got it, you gotta do something, you gotta do something,

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Speaker 3: and I'm at the same time, I'm doing nothing. I'm

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Speaker 3: there for my sister as kind of like the positive vibe,

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Speaker 3: and if something crazy's going down, I was there to

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Speaker 3: be like, hey, this is okay, It's gonna be okay,

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Speaker 3: Like this is this is fucking insane, but we're going

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Speaker 3: to get through this because in the beginning there it's

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Speaker 3: Hamster Wheel and she's twenty years old and it's NonStop.

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Speaker 3: She's making everybody money. So they go go go, go,

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Speaker 3: go go go, and it was a lot. And then

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Speaker 3: her manager welcomed me back as a production assistant after

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Speaker 3: I begged.

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Speaker 2: What did you actually did you get fired?

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Speaker 3: No, just the internship ended and there wasn't really a

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Speaker 3: job opportunity got it, okay, And I was like, I

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Speaker 3: understand right, Yeah, I got you, right, But I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: bring me back either. Yeah, but I had gone on

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Speaker 3: tour with her for a little bit and did some

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Speaker 3: videography stuff, and so he understood that I kind of

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Speaker 3: enjoyed that. So we threw me into the production team

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Speaker 3: side of things, and that's where I learned everything, because

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Speaker 3: these guys went to you know, film school, they were legit,

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Speaker 3: and I got fast tracked into learning how to do everything,

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Speaker 3: and then went back on tour with Megan and I

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Speaker 3: became her behind the scenes content capture, okay, video photography,

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Speaker 3: and that's what I did. You really up until up

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Speaker 3: until the end of twenty nine or twenty twenty, you know,

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Speaker 3: And yeah, but it's.

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Speaker 2: And then after twenty twenty, after that then.

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Speaker 3: What well the world shut down? And yeah, I wasn't

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Speaker 3: able to hide my alcoholism. You know, when you're when

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Speaker 3: you're traveling all around the world and you're just you're

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Speaker 3: taking videos, you could just you could booze, yeah, booze.

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Speaker 3: Actually when you're traveling with the A team. Yeah, so

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Speaker 3: it's it's not it's you know, business flights unlimited behind Yeah,

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Speaker 3: all these parties that she doesn't want to go to

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Speaker 3: an open bar, all the shows, I'm at the bar,

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Speaker 3: and but you're kind of shaken and bacon. So when

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Speaker 3: everything stopped, I still had the same habits, but it's

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Speaker 3: it's it's tough to watch because we're not going anywhere,

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Speaker 3: and it's you know, I would get to the gym

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Speaker 3: and sweat it out, but yeah, I'm just drinking all day.

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Speaker 2: Getting into that for a second, like when did you

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Speaker 2: realize you actually had a problem and how bad was it,

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Speaker 2: you know, or it was this something that was really

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Speaker 2: affecting your life, you know in a really negative way,

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Speaker 2: or is it more like, dude, this is it's just

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Speaker 2: not good for me. I can function, but this is

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Speaker 2: not right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I knew I had a problem being

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Speaker 3: an addict at a pretty young age with with just

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Speaker 3: weed in the beginning there. And my dad noticed it

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Speaker 3: and he started drug testing me.

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Speaker 2: Because you were just you were just getting blazed like

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Speaker 2: all day, you mean, like wake up and smoke and yeah.

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Speaker 3: You know, winter's in the cape, it's pretty slow, man,

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Speaker 3: and the kids just get bored and get dumb.

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Speaker 2: Ship bro, where where are you? Where were you in

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Speaker 2: the cave?

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Speaker 3: East Ham. I went to nassa regional grade school school

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Speaker 3: when I grew up in Anatucky and then once I

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Speaker 3: school in the Cape.

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Speaker 2: I just got back from the Cape because I do

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Speaker 2: like an intro, you know, And I was literally talking

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Speaker 2: about the Cape because I my my wife, my wife's

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Speaker 2: families you know, all from Boston. Yeah, and they live

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Speaker 2: in Falmouth. So we're we go to filmath every every year.

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Speaker 2: We rent the house in Falmouth.

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Speaker 3: That's that's one of my dreams for sure. I want

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Speaker 3: to be able to go back there at least once

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Speaker 3: a year. I miss it very Yeah, it's awesome. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it is awesome place.

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Speaker 2: But I but I will say though, when in the winter,

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Speaker 2: when everything shuts down and it gets you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, it gets, it gets a little. It's

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Speaker 3: it's tough, man, It's a tough it's long winters, it's

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Speaker 3: winking cold, you know. But yeah, that that was probably

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Speaker 3: and then and then in college, you know, I picked

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Speaker 3: up that little thing called Xanax. And when I moved

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Speaker 3: to l A, I decided no more of that. And

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Speaker 3: withdrawing from that was a disaster. That is the Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's the one. That's just that's a spooky one.

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Speaker 2: Dude.

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Speaker 3: You can't sleep, your brain is just on fire anxieties

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Speaker 3: through the roof because you don't have you know, mm hmm,

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Speaker 3: and uh so I just kept I just drank away

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Speaker 3: the withdrawals. I doubled down on the.

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Speaker 2: Boat and did it. I mean, this sounds crazy, but

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Speaker 2: did that hell you get through the withdrawals of the

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Speaker 2: xanax the booze?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, not the proper I should have went to

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Speaker 3: a doctor.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: The moral of all these stories is talk to your parents.

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Speaker 3: Talk people love you in your life. You just have

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Speaker 3: to tell them, hey, I'm not okay. That's all I

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Speaker 3: have to do from the very beginning. But I kind

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Speaker 3: of dragged this out until I was twenty eight. It

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Speaker 3: just gets to a point where you're you're in your

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Speaker 3: you know, you're getting close to thirty, and it's just

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Speaker 3: it's the party boy lifestyle is a tough look. It's like,

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Speaker 3: you got to get your shit together. Yeah, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 3: I had. I had a moment in college my freshman year.

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Speaker 3: I I it's Gasparille and Tampa, Florida. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if you're familiar with it, but you start drinking at

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Speaker 3: seven in the morning and then we were done around

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Speaker 3: like three in the morning. But I I had fallen

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Speaker 3: on my face and I ripped. I still have scar

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Speaker 3: I still have scars on my face from when I fell.

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Speaker 3: And I'll never forget showing back like home after I

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Speaker 3: think it was uh after spring break or something, I

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Speaker 3: don't know. There was some brand. The look of my

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Speaker 3: dad's face was like, what the fuck. Yeah, And so

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Speaker 3: when I was twenty eight, I went on a bender

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Speaker 3: by myself, woke up on my bathroom floor in a

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Speaker 3: puddle of blood. I'm like, oh shit, and I look

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Speaker 3: in the mirror and I see that same kid, you know,

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, holy shit, it's been It's been ten

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Speaker 3: years and I haven't grown up. I'm still that boy

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Speaker 3: running around lost in college, not knowing what to do,

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Speaker 3: drinking like a maniac for no reason. And it kind

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Speaker 3: of clicked, and it was and shortly after Megan and

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Speaker 3: Darryl had Riley. You know, when you hold a baby

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Speaker 3: a family member, his eyes looking up at me like,

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Speaker 3: I'm looking at you, man, like you what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna be watching you and learning from you. So

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Speaker 3: I was like, this is a bad example for this kid,

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm just surrounded by a lot of love

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Speaker 3: and I kind of was. I got lost in my

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Speaker 3: own shit and forgot about that. And you went, did

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Speaker 3: you you went to treatment? You put yourself in treatment. No, dude,

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Speaker 3: I'm a psychopath. I just ran every day, just ran.

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Speaker 3: And then my friend called me up. She said, hey,

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Speaker 3: I know you're sober. Now let's do the New York

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Speaker 3: City Marathon. And then at first I was like, no,

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Speaker 3: absolutely not. And then I thought about it. I was like, well,

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Speaker 3: that'll keep me running. And then on the weekends I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna have to do like ten mile fifteen mile runs. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I won't want to do anything but on the couch. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I said, all right, fuck it, I have four

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Speaker 3: months to train, let's just do it. I partnered up

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Speaker 3: with Boston Children's Hospital. This girl Hans, she's amazing. She

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Speaker 3: was rooting for me, and yeah, dude, I just I

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Speaker 3: just ran ran from my demons.

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Speaker 2: You're like Forrest Gump.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I was running.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, that's so interesting, because someone who wakes up

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Speaker 2: in a pool their own blood, you know, it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: check me into facility. But yeah, you were able to

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Speaker 2: handle that on your own. You know, everyone has their

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Speaker 2: own ways of dealing with their destruction and their demons.

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Speaker 2: You know, it doesn't have to be the you know

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Speaker 2: that one way, you know, but what happens when you

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Speaker 2: stopped running, you know what I mean? Were you able

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Speaker 2: to sort of get it out of your system? And

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Speaker 2: then even going back, you know, from a psychological aspect,

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Speaker 2: were you able to sort of understand why you were

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Speaker 2: doing the things that you were doing, you know, like

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Speaker 2: that self loathing or lack of self love or all

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Speaker 2: that stuff.

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Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, lack of self love was pretty much

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Speaker 3: my main thing. I was just like a self destroyer.

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Speaker 3: You know, everyone we're all partying, and then I'd go

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Speaker 3: home and just continue the party alone with whatever what

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Speaker 3: was in front of me. Because yeah, a lot of

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Speaker 3: my friends were like, oh, Trainer, you you don't have

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Speaker 3: a problem. I was like, you don't know me at all,

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Speaker 3: Like we're party buddies. You don't have a fucking clue

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Speaker 3: who I am. Yeah, it all stems from this this

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Speaker 3: thing that happened to me when I was twelve. You know,

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Speaker 3: I got betrayed by my friends. And when you get

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Speaker 3: that betrayal, I mean I talked about it. We had

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Speaker 3: doctor Drew in our podcast and explained to him the

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Speaker 3: story pretty much you know, it was one of my

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Speaker 3: first time drinking. I sat down to pee because I

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Speaker 3: didn't want to. I didn't want to stand and piss everywhere.

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Speaker 3: I made a joke. I was like, ah, dude, I

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Speaker 3: just peed over my balls. And they were like, how

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Speaker 3: did you do that? Do you have a little dick?

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Speaker 3: Do you have a little dick? And they were trying

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Speaker 3: to pull my pants off and I'm fighting them off

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Speaker 3: and then finally that ended, and then I pass out

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Speaker 3: and I wake up the next morning. I get in

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Speaker 3: the shower. I was like, all that was kind of weird.

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Speaker 3: And I get the shower. I looked down. They had

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Speaker 3: drawn all over my genitals, you know, measurements.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And then I guess there are pictures taken or something

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Speaker 3: that I've found out later on. So and I remember

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Speaker 3: I just looking down in the shower, bawling my eyes out,

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Speaker 3: and I looked in the mirror. I looked in the

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Speaker 3: mirror and I was I and I like it was

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Speaker 3: like a spooky, like spiritual fucking mask. Just I put

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Speaker 3: on and I'm okay, no one's gonna fucking get through me,

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Speaker 3: no one will know me. I'm good. I walk out

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Speaker 3: of there, all right, guys. Great sleepover, that was mad fun.

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Speaker 3: I'll see at school Mom picks me up. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: had a blast, super We played video games great times

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Speaker 3: and just held onto that secret till I was.

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Speaker 2: Like eighteen years old.

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Speaker 3: Dude.

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Speaker 2: Wow, I don't know what it is as just so

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Speaker 2: much shame. Dude. Yeah, yeah, crazy shame, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And you know I heard something recently because at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day, it's just like a bad

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Speaker 3: sleepover and some shit happened. Like no one survives childhood, right,

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Speaker 3: you just grow up? Yeah, you know. And I put

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Speaker 3: in a lot of work. So the running helps drying out,

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Speaker 3: but sobriety, you do have to do a lot of

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Speaker 3: work on yourself. And that's why I did really enjoy

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Speaker 3: the AA program and doing the twelve steps because that's

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Speaker 3: where I was able to dig deep and be like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: this is this is who I am, this is why

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Speaker 3: I did these things.

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Speaker 2: So you did you did do it? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: It took me a year and a half because I'm

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Speaker 3: I'm yeah, I'm just like a no fuck, everybody, I

337
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: got this little guy right, look off, I don't need

338
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 3: your help. Yeah, and that's gotten me nowhere. So but

339
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Speaker 3: it took me a year and a half and finally

340
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Speaker 3: Bobby Lee saw me at a Christmas party and he knew.

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Speaker 2: Bobby, Dude, that's my guy that you know. I worked

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Speaker 2: with him for two years on the show Amazing he was,

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Speaker 2: you know we did, and he's my I fucking love

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Speaker 2: Bobby Lee.

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Speaker 3: He's my little angel. Dude. He saved my life.

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Speaker 2: Did he really?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: He because he has ah. He runs a meeting and

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Speaker 3: he's like, listen, dude, I know you're you don't do

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Speaker 3: the just just show up to one meeting. It's my meeting.

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Speaker 3: It's a great group of people. I would love for

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Speaker 3: you to come. I said, I find fuck it, I'll

353
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Speaker 3: go and I went. Hated the first meeting. I go,

354
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Speaker 3: that's all right, I gotta go back, go back, all right.

355
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Speaker 3: That was a little better. Still hate this drive. It's

356
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Speaker 3: a forty five minute drive. I'm fucking upset. And I

357
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 3: keep going and going and going. And the more you

358
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Speaker 3: go to these things, you hear people talk and you

359
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 3: realize you're like, oh, I'm exactly like these motherfuckers. I'm Ryan,

360
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 3: I'm an alcoholic, and this is just how our brains work,

361
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:40,040
Speaker 3: and we're in there being vulnerable. I've never seen people

362
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 3: be so vulnerable and honest in front of strangers. That

363
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 3: was different for me, and it was it's yeah. And

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Speaker 3: then I got a sponsor, started working the steps and

365
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Speaker 3: a couple of those dude I dragged out. You know,

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Speaker 3: there's some heavy shit in there and you sit down

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Speaker 3: to do it and you're like, I don't want to

368
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Speaker 3: fucking do this. That a lot of it is I

369
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 3: don't want to do it, and then when you do it,

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Speaker 3: you feel much better. It's like the main fucking thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, So how did you meet Bobby?

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Speaker 1: Uh?

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Speaker 3: You know through Megan with the pop star sister or

374
00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 3: anything is possible? So did Tiger Belly podcast?

375
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Speaker 2: You did?

376
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I and I explained that I was sober

377
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 3: and then he saw me. It was just months later

378
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 3: at a Christmas party and he was just like, dude,

379
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,000
Speaker 3: I know you're you're not doing the best you can,

380
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 3: like I because he understands there's there's a.

381
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Speaker 2: Lot to but you were sober still, but we were

382
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Speaker 2: just but it was still like this isn't gonna last.

383
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,920
Speaker 3: I was a shell of a human, like still living

384
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: in fear. Yeah, a lot of fear based lifestyle choices mentality,

385
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 3: you know, for people that are wondering about getting sober,

386
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:51,520
Speaker 3: and you like, yeah, it sucked, like I lost my mojo,

387
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 3: I lost this lifestyle. But I realize now three years in,

388
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 3: I have all that ship. That guy that I thought

389
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: I was getting to with tequila and blow is just there.

390
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 3: I just I can tap into it whenever. I don't

391
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Speaker 3: have to destroy myself where the fucking people around me.

392
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 3: I can just I can be me and I'm finally

393
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,280
Speaker 3: I can walk into anywhere and be like I belong here.

394
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Speaker 3: That was my biggest thing, Like, oh, I don't fucking

395
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,600
Speaker 3: belong anywhere. You know, my sister's famous. I don't belong

396
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 3: at this party. I don't belong. You know. It's did that.

397
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,520
Speaker 2: Suck you up? At all your sister's fame? I know that,

398
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 2: you know she brought you along, yeah, and brought you

399
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,800
Speaker 2: to La and all that, and it's probably incredibly inclusive

400
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 2: and but but at the same time, we have a

401
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 2: ton of siblings on here who have a famous sibling.

402
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 2: There's a famous sibling, and then there's one who's doing

403
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,240
Speaker 2: their own thing, you know, or one who is in

404
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:53,719
Speaker 2: their same business and you know, not as big or

405
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: as a celebrity as the other. And I always ask

406
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 2: the question, Kate, you don't hate it, but she's just

407
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,359
Speaker 2: like a whull. I say, are you envious? You know?

408
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 2: Is there a part of you that's like jealous? You know,

409
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 2: like fuck man? And and nine times out of ten

410
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 2: everyone's saying no, I'm supportive, and I think it's all bullshit.

411
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 2: The only person who said Chad Low because we had

412
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 2: Robin Chad on and Chad's like, of course, dude, He's like,

413
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,440
Speaker 2: I'm doing my little thing over here, and he's a

414
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,960
Speaker 2: great director and he's a great actor and all that.

415
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: But he's like, I'm looking at my brother like fucking what,

416
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,360
Speaker 2: you know. And I'm the same way. I'm like, I'm

417
00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,880
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean I don't root for my sister, but

418
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 2: of course I'm like it's bullshit, man, Like I'm I'm

419
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 2: just as talented, Like give me an opportunity to work

420
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 2: with Cameron Crow, you know, like fuck this, I you

421
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 2: have that.

422
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's always a little bit envy. Now. The thing

423
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:51,159
Speaker 3: is is I can't sing, and I see to do

424
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,720
Speaker 3: these a lot of these shows that I'm like, that

425
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 3: is too fucking hard. But like the bullshit part of

426
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,199
Speaker 3: it like, you know, go do a fun TV show interview. Uh,

427
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 3: you know, all the fun stuff that she actually struggles doing.

428
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 3: That's like not your thing. Her thing is getting a

429
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,440
Speaker 3: studio right, a hit song? Yeah, that all that other stuff.

430
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh that's a blast, dude, what I want

431
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 3: to do some of that ship?

432
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, well the other thing too, is forget about talent.

433
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: Forget about the fact that you sing or you don't sing,

434
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,639
Speaker 2: or that I'm an actor and Kate's an actor, or

435
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,400
Speaker 2: that even she's a woman and I'm a man. I mean,

436
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 2: those things are completely different. You know. Her trajectory is

437
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,879
Speaker 2: different than mine. It's it's almost like sometimes you go

438
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 2: to this place of it's just not fair, you know

439
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like it's touched, it's total bullshit stuff.

440
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 2: But it's like, well, how come, say, how come they

441
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 2: got lucky? You know? What about what about me? Like

442
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: in whatever it is that I'm doing, Like Anna, Yeah,

443
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,680
Speaker 2: those things creep and you know, they've been a they've

444
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 2: been a cause of my anxiety because I well documented

445
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 2: on the show, I've been through crazy anxiety throughout my

446
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: life and likes the pro and all that, you know,

447
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 2: but a lot of it was stemmed from initially when

448
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 2: I first went down to a knee, thinking I was

449
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 2: dying at the age of twenty three years old, not

450
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 2: understanding what was going on or what anxiety even was,

451
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 2: and trying to unpack it. And you know, there was

452
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 2: a heavy route of just I was trying to be

453
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 2: an actor and I wasn't taking it seriously and it

454
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 2: wasn't working out, and everyone else is succeeding in front

455
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: of me, and you know, peers and siblings and everything else,

456
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,800
Speaker 2: and it was just this thing of I'm not good enough,

457
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 2: and it developed into that sort of lack of self

458
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 2: love and self loathing and I'll never be what I

459
00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 2: am and then bang, it all hit me. At one

460
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 2: time went down to the fucking Neil's actually going into

461
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 2: a strip club with my friend, you know, in Hollywood,

462
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 2: and I was like, and I go into the strip

463
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 2: club and John's like, where were you. I'm like, dude,

464
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think I might've had a heart attack,

465
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 2: but I didn't because I'm here. Something fucking happened to me, dude.

466
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 2: And He's like, well, we didn't get it. You didn't

467
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 2: get what anxiety a panic attack was. I remember I

468
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 2: had like a vodkatonic to try to like all.

469
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 3: Myself and I was like, shake it off.

470
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:13,879
Speaker 2: Oh but I just had to get out of there.

471
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,359
Speaker 2: I'm like, dude, something's up, you know. And of course

472
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 2: ran all the tests, went to the doctor, did hearts everything,

473
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,960
Speaker 2: like you're fine. So I was like, oh shit, this

474
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 2: sin is the beginning of the end or the beginning

475
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 2: of the beginning, you know, because you learned so much.

476
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,160
Speaker 2: I've learned so much about who I am through this

477
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 2: sort of process of dealing with anxiety. You know, character

478
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 2: gets built. My son had it for a little bit

479
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 2: going into eighth grade. I was able to sort of

480
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,680
Speaker 2: understand him and deal with him on a different level

481
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 2: than most parents would who haven't experienced it themselves. I've

482
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,199
Speaker 2: through talking on my podcasts and you know, I went

483
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,679
Speaker 2: to this place called the Hoffmann Institute, and you know,

484
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: you realize, just even what you do with your show,

485
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 2: I'm sure as long as you're authentic and honest, there's

486
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: so many people you can actually help in touch without

487
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 2: realizing it. You know. So that's a that's a blessing,

488
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 2: and her curse was blessing a curse.

489
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I forget constantly we have people call in that

490
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,399
Speaker 3: I listen to the show and they'll be like, I'm

491
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,680
Speaker 3: sober because of Ryan and that that shit trips me crazy.

492
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:23,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, that I don't understand.

493
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:27,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, to go back to the jealousy, I think I'm

494
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,400
Speaker 3: more jealous that she she like knows her thing. She's

495
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 3: always known her things. She was like thirteen, Like everything

496
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 3: around me makes sense because I've watched I watched her

497
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 3: when she was since she was thirteen, disregard friends, disregard

498
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,199
Speaker 3: to anybody, and just was in her studio making songs

499
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: and they were shit at first, but she kept making

500
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 3: them every day like she did not stop. So I

501
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 3: saw her put in her like twenty thousand hours, and

502
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 3: I've just been jealous of, like, why can't I figure

503
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 3: out what the fuck I'm good at and what I

504
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 3: can do? You know?

505
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 2: That's that's where or very it's totally in the same way.

506
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 2: I look at Kate and I'm like, I just envy

507
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: her work ethic, I envy her confidence, you know, her

508
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 2: sort of just bullish attitude in the best way, meaning

509
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,600
Speaker 2: like no, I'm gonna get this shit done. You know,

510
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,359
Speaker 2: I deserve to be here, and I deserve to be

511
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 2: on top, and I am the fucking queen because she is,

512
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 2: and and that confidence. I'm more like, oh my god,

513
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 2: like do they like me? I mean I just did

514
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 2: that take. Like, God, I hope I don't fuck up

515
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: my lines because then everyone's gonna think that I'm I'm

516
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 2: terrible person. I mean, this is a bullshit that goes

517
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 2: on in my my infantile head where she's just like, boom,

518
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 2: I am great, and I'm gonna show everyone why I am.

519
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, God, damn it. If I had her work ethic,

520
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,120
Speaker 2: i'd be George Clooney.

521
00:27:52,720 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think after doing the twelve Steps and I

522
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 3: started going to a men's meeting more often. It's sick, dude.

523
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 3: It's like in the back of a more than waffles

524
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 3: and it's just a you know, alcoholic men just talking

525
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 3: some real shit. And that's been very beneficial because growing

526
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 3: up I didn't I never trusted men, specifically after what

527
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 3: had happened to me. So it's been nice to, like,

528
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,199
Speaker 3: I don't know, have bond with other dudes.

529
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 2: It's amazing how impactful that situation was for you specifically. Yeah,

530
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 2: and you sort of didn't amend it, but then you said,

531
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:38,800
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it's a sleepover with

532
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: idiot kids. And yeah, I have two boys and they're

533
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: all fucking idiots. We were all idiots, you know. Yeah,

534
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 2: And if that had happened with someone else, maybe it

535
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 2: wouldn't have impacted them the way it did you. We're

536
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 2: all different humans, we have different sort of ideas, you know.

537
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 2: But that moment, I mean, it was just humiliating. There's

538
00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,880
Speaker 2: some shame around it that it's just fucking set you off.

539
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 2: It's crazy. I mean it is pretty gnarly though, to

540
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 2: wake up and to have that happen, you know, yeah,

541
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 2: to you, I mean that's pretty gnarly. At twelve twelve Jesus,

542
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 2: maybe I think five it was fine, right, totally.

543
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 3: Like all right, guys whatever, cool. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah,

544
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 3: I just you gotta just like speak up. I guess, like,

545
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 3: don't hold lot of ship. But maybe it was different times.

546
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 3: I feel like now it's a little better.

547
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: It's easier to say things. I don't know. So then

548
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: you started this podcast, So tell me about this, tell

549
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 2: me about the show.

550
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been wanting to do it for a while,

551
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 3: and then finally we had their opportunity and Meghan's team

552
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 3: was behind it. They were like, yeah, this is actually

553
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:55,800
Speaker 3: gonna be a great idea because I just wanted people

554
00:29:55,800 --> 00:30:00,280
Speaker 3: to see Meghan's personality. I've always like, you know, she

555
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 3: grew up with me and my younger bron.

556
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:03,560
Speaker 2: We just.

557
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 3: We like to smoke weed and watch South Park like

558
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 3: we just had. We just like she has a great

559
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 3: sense of humor that I don't think anyone really realizes.

560
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, she's the base girl even ten years later,

561
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 3: which I feel like now she's finally getting out of

562
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,959
Speaker 3: that with TikTok and and the podcast, but she just uh,

563
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 3: and she's she's really smart. I just wanted people to

564
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 3: see her, and I just wanted to be there to

565
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 3: help guide her as a co host and you know,

566
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 3: help her when we have people on to ask some

567
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 3: questions and kind of keep things wrong because also she's

568
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 3: got a bit of I don't know if it's ADHD

569
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 3: or something, but she's bouncing all over the place and

570
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,280
Speaker 3: then they get stuff talking about like the dumbest shit.

571
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, hey, hey, let's move on to something here.

572
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: She yeah, she's okay with that.

573
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 2: She she agrees, no, no, no, no, I mean it's

574
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 2: it's funny because we both have podcasts with their sisters,

575
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 2: which is fucking rad. But it's so funny because I

576
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,560
Speaker 2: if the train is going down a track, right, I

577
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: am going hard lefts and hard rights, and Kate is

578
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 2: the one who's like steering it back on into the track.

579
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: You know, She's like, okay, Like, because I am about

580
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:13,120
Speaker 2: my inutia, Like I like to get into the details

581
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: because that's where the that's where the juice is, you

582
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 2: know what I mean. So true. Someone will say something

583
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 2: on one of our shows and I'll be like, okay,

584
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: well hold on, go back a second when you said this,

585
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden, you go down this

586
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 2: rabbit hole that one little moment, and Kate's just like, okay,

587
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: like back to the notes. Yeah, I mean, has it

588
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: been fun though? I mean just rapping with your sister. Like,

589
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: the greatest thing about our podcast is I get to

590
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: you know, obviously I'm doing solos right now because she's busy,

591
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 2: But to sit down with your sibling and just riff

592
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 2: and talk and be a part of a conversation for

593
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: an hour, you know.

594
00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the best. It's been like family therapy for us. Yeah,

595
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 3: especially since when we first made the deal. To do

596
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:01,800
Speaker 3: the podcast. I was to drinking at the time, and

597
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 3: so to my surprise when it really started, I was like, oh,

598
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 3: we're on Sobriety. Here we go. I've decided to sow.

599
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 3: And I was just it was a nightmare. In the beginning.

600
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 3: I hated every second of it because I was just

601
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 3: really I was riddled with anxiety. I hated myself, dude

602
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 3: so much shame and like it was the worst, dude,

603
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,400
Speaker 3: And I have to watch all of these episodes back

604
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 3: and pick the tiktoks, make sure you know, get the

605
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 3: right edits. And I hated watching myself. It was it was,

606
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 3: it was a it was an experience in the beginning.

607
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 2: Were you able to talk about it on the show

608
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 2: about how yeah yeah yeah, how anxiety and how yeah

609
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:41,600
Speaker 2: all oh yeah yeah.

610
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah yeah.

611
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 2: It's great, so great though it's horrible but amazing, Like

612
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 2: that's what people want to hear, you know what I'm saying.

613
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 3: No, if you go from like the first few episodes

614
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 3: to now, I feel like I've turned into a completely

615
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 3: different human. It's it's bizarre. Yeah, sobriety is a magical thing.

616
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 3: I highly recommend it, highly recommend it.

617
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, it's it's funny. I mean, I've talked about

618
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: this on another podcast. It's you know, when do you

619
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 2: know that you're an alcoholic? I talked to Charles Kelly,

620
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 2: you know, you know Charles Kelly from Lady Lady A

621
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 2: Lady Antebellum. I'm like, he you know, he started that group, Okay,

622
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:24,600
Speaker 2: he he He got sober, but his drinking was really interesting.

623
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 2: It wasn't like waking up in a pool of blood

624
00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 2: or anything crazy. It was just sort of becoming such

625
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: a crutch that he couldn't really do much without it,

626
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 2: as far as writing music or playing golf or anything

627
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 2: like that. And it wouldn't be like two drinks, it

628
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,479
Speaker 2: would turn into like eighty drinks, you know. And then

629
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 2: I got scared because I'm like, that sounds like me

630
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,720
Speaker 2: kind of, you know. I was like, I've never thought

631
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 2: myself an alcoholic at all, But I'm like, am I

632
00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 2: drinking too mildly? You know? So what point? At what

633
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 2: point do you say that you're an alcoholic?

634
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 3: I mean it would be like if you were like

635
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 3: I had to crack open a couple cold ones before

636
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: this or something. Maybe maybe, but you know, like it's

637
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 3: it's stuff where like you shouldn't need a drink to do,

638
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,799
Speaker 3: but that's not really what it is. You find out

639
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 3: on your own. But I'm just thinking of like, if

640
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,120
Speaker 3: you want some like specifics.

641
00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: You've seen it. You've been to all these meetings and

642
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 2: you've met a bunch of alcoholics, right, And I'm sure

643
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 2: there's different ones. There's ones who are like, way off

644
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,719
Speaker 2: the chart. Have you met somewhere Their stories are kind

645
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: of like, uh, yeah, I guess you're an aclopolic.

646
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 3: Every time they go out there, they're blacking out, but

647
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,360
Speaker 3: they're but they're pushing that you know, thirty to thirty

648
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 3: five range, and they're just like, I don't want to

649
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:43,640
Speaker 3: be this person anymore. I can't afford to not remember

650
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 3: what I did every single weekend. Like it could be

651
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 3: something like like that. You know, it doesn't have to

652
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 3: be like you got booze stashed everywhere and yeah, and

653
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,480
Speaker 3: it just comes down to, like, I don't know if

654
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 3: you're hiding a lot of shit with booze, if you're

655
00:34:58,239 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 3: if you're stuff in some stuff down, yeah, you know,

656
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: instead of doing that, you just dig deep into it

657
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,279
Speaker 3: and and and you're just like clear about it. You're

658
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,879
Speaker 3: not You're not substituting feelings. That was the other thing,

659
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,120
Speaker 3: Like I sold that. I just I go, what the

660
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,960
Speaker 3: fuck are these? And they were my feelings, like I

661
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 3: don't like any of these?

662
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:21,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

663
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of crying alone, just like really going

664
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 3: through it.

665
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,319
Speaker 2: Bro, How much better do you feel now? Though?

666
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 3: I mean, like how I I just went to Italy

667
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 3: on a solo trip, trip of a fucking lifetime. Okay,

668
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 3: oh you did?

669
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah?

670
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 3: I solo solo two weeks and it was a it

671
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 3: was an enlightening experience for me because I'm sitting there

672
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 3: and I'm learning how to say I'm an alcoholic and

673
00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 3: Italian because the water is wine. Yeah, I go, yeah,

674
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 3: I'm an alcoholic. I'm having a blast, Like I'm sober

675
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,000
Speaker 3: and I'm having the most fun I could ever possibly have.

676
00:35:57,719 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 3: And when I first sobered up and I was going

677
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 3: on dates, you know, girls to be like, well you

678
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 3: don't drink it forever, I was like, well, if I

679
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,840
Speaker 3: go to Italy, I'm gonna have wine.

680
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.

681
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,440
Speaker 3: Fast forward to three years and it just wasn't of

682
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 3: any interest and I'm I'm I'm schlepping all my stuff,

683
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 3: feeling great. I'm looking around people are hungover it's hot

684
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 3: as fuck, and I'm just like, what a great day,

685
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 3: just conquering every day, eating as much as I wanted.

686
00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 3: You know, there's no empty calories. I'm just pasta gelato croissants,

687
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 3: like going nuts. Lost weight by the end of the trip,

688
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 3: a little spooky, to be honest. The food's real, so okay,

689
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 3: little size track. And I got back from Europe, you know,

690
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,720
Speaker 3: a little while ago. We went to Greece and France

691
00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: and we ate and we ate, we ate, and Greece.

692
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,719
Speaker 2: I'm a huge grease fan and I love Greek food

693
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,279
Speaker 2: and blah blah, but we ate our fucking faces off.

694
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 2: I lost weight, same thing. Their food is so clean, yeah,

695
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,200
Speaker 2: so delicious, and you can taste how clean it is,

696
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 2: like it's a different taste.

697
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

698
00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: I get back home and within a week I'm not

699
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: even eating bad. I'm not like eating like burgers, and

700
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,600
Speaker 2: I did have in and out when I first got home,

701
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 2: but other than that, you know, other than I'm just

702
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 2: eating normally.

703
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, like bulk, I'm like, holy shit, dude,

704
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 3: yeah no, it's ry. Yeah. My first meal back was

705
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: fat salas. Dude, fat texas.

706
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,640
Speaker 2: Yea, fat soles. That's for me, do you do that?

707
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 3: And next I was just like, I'm getting ripped to

708
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 3: stress you. That sound was good though, but in general, dude,

709
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 3: it's it's it's very weird.

710
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:30,640
Speaker 1: Man.

711
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,359
Speaker 3: I don't know because people would say and I didn't

712
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,399
Speaker 3: believe him, and then I got really tripped up. Yeah

713
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,879
Speaker 3: it's just brad Pasta, like you're just eating and eating

714
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 3: and eating and yeah, so I don't know, man.

715
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,160
Speaker 2: And so that solo trip, I mean, there was never

716
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,520
Speaker 2: any sort of temptation because that would seem very difficult.

717
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 2: Like you're in Italy. It's beautiful. It's like wine, cigarettes, like,

718
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 2: oh god, that's makes the trip for me. My problem

719
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 2: is I don't feel like I can enjoy a moment,

720
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 2: one of this beautiful moment, whether it's before family or

721
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 2: a sunset or anything without like like a cigarette. I

722
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,040
Speaker 2: don't really spoke anymore, but like, you know, a cigarette

723
00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 2: or like a drink or yeah, now we're here, you

724
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 2: know what I mean?

725
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to be in the movies. I get that, bro. Yeah,

726
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 3: I watched when I watched Once upon a Time in Hollywood,

727
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 3: immediately bought a twelve pack of butt Heavies and I

728
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,040
Speaker 3: bought a pack of mar Breads and I spoke that

729
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 3: hire fucking pack and drank every beer and I felt

730
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,480
Speaker 3: like dog shit the next day. But yeah, you just

731
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 3: your brain romanticizes all these things so and you know,

732
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 3: you think that's what's happening, but in reality, it's just

733
00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:35,480
Speaker 3: you know, it's just boison.

734
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 2: At the end of the day, where were you in Italy?

735
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 3: I bounced around, what did I do? Sorrento, Rome, Florence,

736
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 3: Milan And then my buddy's wedding was in Lake Como.

737
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 2: It was a dream amazing. Did you meet up with

738
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,000
Speaker 2: people along the way who you didn't?

739
00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 3: You know?

740
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 2: If you're solo? I mean, well, there are a lot

741
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:54,920
Speaker 2: of women. I'm sure I made I made some friends.

742
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:55,840
Speaker 3: I made some friends.

743
00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: Now, when you're when you're when you're dating and right

744
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,560
Speaker 2: and whatever you want to call that, when you're in

745
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 2: Italy and relating back to the alcohol is they're like,

746
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,959
Speaker 2: let's go have a drink, let's go to a club,

747
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 2: let's do this. You're just like, I just I can't.

748
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,040
Speaker 2: I don't And they're cool with it.

749
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I'll be honest with you, Okay,

750
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 3: I just hinge right now, on a hinge, you could

751
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 3: you'd say what you do and don't do?

752
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 2: God got it?

753
00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 3: No alcohol? So that you see it. They they doubled down.

754
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 3: They're like, so you don't drink, like no sober and

755
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 3: it's you know some would they feel bad, like can

756
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 3: I drink in front of you? Ago, it's not a

757
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 3: problem at all living up. You're on vacation. I'm on vacation.

758
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 3: You know we're good. I met this Italian girl and

759
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,080
Speaker 3: she was funny. She was like, oh, you could never

760
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,879
Speaker 3: tell my mom this. She would repet the shreds daily.

761
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 3: You can't handle your alcohol, you'd like some Chris Malta

762
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 3: Santi ship dude, like you can't drink.

763
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 2: That's amazing, that dude, Oh my god, it was fucking great.

764
00:39:59,680 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 3: Bro.

765
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 2: I loved it so much.

766
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 3: Or are you in la I'm in the valley.

767
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:05,960
Speaker 2: I'm in the valley.

768
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm gonna slowly make my way west side. Okay.

769
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,560
Speaker 3: So I moved out of I moved out of Megan's

770
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 3: house right before she got into this new one. And

771
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,080
Speaker 3: it was a big thing. Man. She bawled her eyes

772
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,799
Speaker 3: out in that moment. She goes, all right, well, I'm

773
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,240
Speaker 3: picking the apartment I got Okay, that's fine.

774
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 2: You know.

775
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 3: So I'm paying way too much for this apartment in

776
00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 3: the valley, but it's fine. It's it's super close to

777
00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,320
Speaker 3: the house. Yeah, I will, I will eventually. It was

778
00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 3: my first step out. She's just she loves the ship

779
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 3: out of me at the end of the day, dude,

780
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 3: That's that's what it comes down to, and it is

781
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 3: nice when you're someone in that spot in life you

782
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 3: want the people you love around you to experience anything

783
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 3: with you. Well, you don't do it alone.

784
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,399
Speaker 2: Yeah. My whole family lives ten minutes from my mom,

785
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:52,319
Speaker 2: my dad, Kate Wyat, you know, Boston. We're all within

786
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: ten minutes from each other, you know, mister dream It

787
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: is it truly is.

788
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,880
Speaker 3: I just personally want to be closer to the ocean.

789
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well that's like I'm a big fisherman and I

790
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:05,400
Speaker 2: own a boat. I fish like I Oh yeah, the

791
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,800
Speaker 2: ocean is is a necessity for me.

792
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:10,879
Speaker 3: Saying you need it in my life.

793
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 2: Well, dude, I'm back mid August. Let's let's hook up.

794
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,399
Speaker 2: You should come come on the boat, dude, I'm so down.

795
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 2: We don't wave toward until the end of August. Sotember

796
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 2: first is when it starts okay, cool, So we have

797
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 2: a couple of weeks. How long are you gone for

798
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,080
Speaker 2: September October? It's honestly not too long. Seven quick, okay.

799
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 3: She's just trying to figure out if she likes to

800
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,799
Speaker 3: do it with the kids, you know, or like if

801
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 3: she should not bring them everywhere. Yeah, it's yeah, you

802
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 3: guys have a fight. Yeah, I all to tell Yeah,

803
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 3: we bick her. All of you do way less now though,

804
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 3: now that I've sobered up, and like I used to,

805
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:49,919
Speaker 3: she'll she'll say something right, She's she's not the best

806
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 3: with her words in some circumstances. Okay, and I used

807
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 3: to like bottle that ship. It would be something simple

808
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 3: and all she's doing is being nice and offering a

809
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 3: job or something. So here was an example. She's doing

810
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:04,759
Speaker 3: rehearsals and we have friends over that they did the podcast.

811
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 2: You know, I.

812
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 3: I value their perception of me. And she's like, hey,

813
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: I need someone to film my rehearsals. Can you do

814
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: it like X amount of money a day? And I'm

815
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 3: like no, like I want to do my own show.

816
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 3: She's like, well, you got nothing going on and you

817
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,840
Speaker 3: need that money. And I'm like wow. And before I

818
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 3: would just fucking burst like fuck you like shit, and

819
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 3: I just I nope, just don't want to do it.

820
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 3: Just don't just uh yep, don't want to do it.

821
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 3: And then I called her. I called her later. I go, hey,

822
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 3: you were one hundred percent correct. I need the money

823
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: and it's an easy job. I got nothing to it.

824
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 3: I'm not you know, Uh yes, I'd love to. I

825
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 3: just didn't like how you asked me in front of

826
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 3: our guests. And she goes, oh, whoa, okay, whoa, I

827
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 3: fucked up.

828
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:55,200
Speaker 2: My bad. I'm so sorry man.

829
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:59,879
Speaker 3: That that's the conversation now, exactly. Yeah, and just take

830
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 3: a beat instead of just snapping.

831
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: That's what I before. So yeah, well, I mean tone

832
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 2: is everything, by the way, you know, because you could

833
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 2: say that. I don't know how she said it, but

834
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,920
Speaker 2: it's belittling in a way. And I'm saying she was

835
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: trying to but there's a condescension, there's belittle mint. It's

836
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: sort of like you got nothing going on right now.

837
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: I was like, dude, what the fuck, Like, how do

838
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 2: you not know that that is would hurt not just

839
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: me but anybody, you know. I mean, I'm a fragile

840
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 2: man telling me by the way, I don't even care

841
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: if there's fucking people here, Like you don't have anything

842
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 2: going on anyway, Like what you don't you don't have

843
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 2: ship going on anywhere? Like oh god. I was like,

844
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:51,480
Speaker 2: fuck you, let's start crying. I totally get that. I

845
00:43:51,560 --> 00:43:54,759
Speaker 2: totally working on my yeah, yeah, yeah, my sister. My

846
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 2: sister again not knowing it and only praising me. But

847
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:01,399
Speaker 2: I remember she said something to me. She's like, she goes,

848
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 2: you know what you should You need to direct, you

849
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 2: need to direct, and you need to produce and this

850
00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 2: is I don't know, you know, this is what you

851
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,879
Speaker 2: need to do. And meanwhile, I mean, that's the love

852
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: of mine for sure. That honestly, that's probably where I'm

853
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 2: most talented. But I'm an actor and that's how I

854
00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 2: make my money. But I'm not at her status or

855
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 2: my family status or anything like that. But I took

856
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 2: it as like, oh, you shouldn't be acting because you're

857
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 2: not good enough, and that's my own shit.

858
00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:30,879
Speaker 3: Yep, it's your own ship.

859
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,360
Speaker 2: But I was like, oh, thanks, Kate, thanks, you know

860
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:36,440
Speaker 2: what I mean, like you don't believe in me, when

861
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,479
Speaker 2: really she's just telling me, no, I mean, you're great

862
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 2: at these things you should pursue them. And I take

863
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:43,640
Speaker 2: it as oh, so you don't think I'm good enough.

864
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,320
Speaker 3: Yeah. Now, we all live in our own realities that

865
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,440
Speaker 3: no one else sees. We're just making this up as

866
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,000
Speaker 3: we go, like this is how this is how that was.

867
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 2: But it is the beauty. It is the beauty of

868
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 2: the human condition. Like, yes, that's what's so dope about

869
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:02,759
Speaker 2: just the individual jewel is We're all fucked up, you

870
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,799
Speaker 2: know what I mean, We're we're we're all we all

871
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:07,600
Speaker 2: have our ship. There's no doubt about it, you know.

872
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 2: And it's about the recognition of it, and you know,

873
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,799
Speaker 2: the desire or not to change it. Some people are

874
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 2: happy being the way that they are. Some people are

875
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:20,040
Speaker 2: way more comfortable in that space, in the chaos, in

876
00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 2: the pain. They're more comfortable in the pain. Yeah, go

877
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 2: for it, living that fucking Yeah. Yeah, that's a beauty

878
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 2: your life. You do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, exactly, dude,

879
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 2: This was really fun.

880
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 3: This is awesome. Thank you again for having me.

881
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: This was fun. Later bro, Later, Wow, the headline probably

882
00:45:35,840 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 2: is going to be Oliver Huntson thinks he's an alcoholic.

883
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:43,240
Speaker 2: Ah gosh, Yeah, what a good dude. What a good dude.

884
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 2: You know, you got to admire those those people that

885
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 2: can that can pull themselves up out of the ship

886
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:58,120
Speaker 2: and then run. Maybe I'll just start running. My whole

887
00:45:58,200 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 2: life will change.

888
00:45:59,640 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 3: Uh.

889
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,480
Speaker 2: Anyway, Thanks Ryan, I'll see on my boat piece