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Speaker 1: All right, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And

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Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEYFM dot

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Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air Hop Pop, just like

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Speaker 1: you're going to read this one right here, right now,

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Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: Never know, Ladies and Gentlemen's time for the Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: My good friend Shirley Strawberberry.

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Speaker 3: Thank you junior.

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Speaker 1: Subject he wants to be seen but not heard. Dear Stephen, Shirley,

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Speaker 1: my husband and I are thirty four and we've been

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Speaker 1: together for nine years and married.

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Speaker 2: For three years.

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Speaker 1: The only reason we are married is because I gave

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Speaker 1: him an ultimatum after six years of dating. We needed

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Speaker 1: to move this thing forward or I was gone. He

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Speaker 1: always had been very full of himself and the women

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Speaker 1: and his family made him think he was God's gift

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Speaker 1: to the earth because he has eyes that change color,

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Speaker 1: and he's tall and very handsome. He's a natural flirt

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Speaker 1: and I tolerate it because I know that if he

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Speaker 1: ever left me, the woman would send him right back

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Speaker 1: to me. Here's the problem. He's not a manly man

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Speaker 1: outside of the bedroom. He can really show out in

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Speaker 1: that bedroom, but after that he's like having a child.

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Speaker 1: All he cares about is getting the latest trendy clothes,

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Speaker 1: getting the newest watchers or sneakers, and keeping his car

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Speaker 1: clean and shiny outside looking in. He's got his stuff together,

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Speaker 1: but boy, oh boy, is he trifling. He's got a

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Speaker 1: great job and he's in a leadership position, but his

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Speaker 1: manager talks to him like a child and doesn't allow

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Speaker 1: him to speak up and make his opinions known. His

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Speaker 1: manager has even told him that he's not paid to think.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 1: As soon as I heard that, I wanted to call

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Speaker 1: his job and speak to his manager, but I had

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Speaker 1: to realize he's my husband and not my son.

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Speaker 2: I want him to.

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Speaker 1: Focus less on how clean he is when he goes

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Speaker 1: to work and more on how he represents him when

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Speaker 1: he is at work. The same thing goes for our marriage.

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Speaker 1: I need him over our finances, upkeep of the house,

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Speaker 1: maintenance of our vehicles, all the manly stuff in a marriage.

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Speaker 1: He'd rather be seen than heard in every aspect of

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Speaker 1: his life. It's been nine years and I'm done enabling him.

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Speaker 1: Should I keep planning a life with this man? Or

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Speaker 1: let this one go? Well, it's funny you should ask

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Speaker 1: that because you know you gave him an ultimatum to

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Speaker 1: marry you, and you knew all this stuff before you

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Speaker 1: married him. Did you really want to marry this guy?

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Speaker 1: Because it doesn't even seem like it. You should be

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Speaker 1: asking yourself why are you acting like your husband's mother

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Speaker 1: instead of his wife.

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Speaker 2: Why are you so critical of him?

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Speaker 1: If he's as trifling and as bad as you say

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Speaker 1: he is, I don't understand why you married him in

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Speaker 1: the first place. Again, these are the questions you should

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Speaker 1: be asking yourself. You've known him for a very long time,

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Speaker 1: nine years. You said he didn't just get like this,

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Speaker 1: He's been like this all along. Another question for you,

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Speaker 1: why are you trying to change him now? Could it

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Speaker 1: be you're trying to make him how you want him

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Speaker 1: to be. For instance, as far as the household chores go,

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Speaker 1: you want him to take over the finances, but what

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Speaker 1: if he knows nothing about finances?

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Speaker 2: You want him to upkeep the house. Is he a handyman?

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Speaker 1: If that's not going to happen, get a proper handyman

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Speaker 1: to do that kind of work. If he's not a

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Speaker 1: mechanic and you want more than just gas and car washes, that's.

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Speaker 2: Not going to happen either.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to manage your expectations of this

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Speaker 1: man you married and you knew all about before you

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Speaker 1: married him. You're his wife, not his mother. Again, you

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Speaker 1: can't be calling up to his job checking his boss

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Speaker 1: because of the way he said his boss spoke to him.

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Speaker 2: That's for him to do.

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Speaker 1: You said he was a leader, right, You said that

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Speaker 1: in your letter, that your husband is a leader.

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Speaker 2: Well let him lead.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like you wanted desperately to marry him, you know,

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Speaker 1: thinking he would change. He didn't change. He's the same

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Speaker 1: man you dated for six years and now you're realizing

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Speaker 1: who he really is, and that doesn't seem to be

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Speaker 1: good enough for you. I would just love to hear

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Speaker 1: his side of the story, and one thing he would

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Speaker 1: probably say about you is that your boss is Steve,

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Speaker 1: among other things.

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Speaker 5: Well, you know, good answer, Shirley, I don't. It's a waste.

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Speaker 5: He wants to be seen and not heard. Let's go yo, both,

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Speaker 5: y'all thirty four, you've been together nine years, married for

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Speaker 5: three and then you say you begave him ultimatum and

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Speaker 5: eventually he marriage.

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Speaker 6: That's how you got him.

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Speaker 5: Okay, after six years, then you tell me that he's

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Speaker 5: very full of himself and the women in his family

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Speaker 5: made him think he was he was God's gift to

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Speaker 5: the earth because he has eyes that changed color. Well,

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Speaker 5: I bought my grandson to transformer one time, and it

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Speaker 5: do the same thing.

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Speaker 6: Transform. My eyes turned red.

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Speaker 5: Sometimes sometime they blue, you know, but it ain't the

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Speaker 5: best toy he got. Now you got a man that

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Speaker 5: got his eyes that can change color, and you ain't

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Speaker 5: got the best man they got either. He's tall and

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Speaker 5: very handsome. Okay, so you just got a little cute

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Speaker 5: on him. The eyes is changed the colors. That means

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Speaker 5: he's light skinned. Dog skinned people eyes don't change colors.

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Speaker 5: I'm telling you to be too shocked. You roll that

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Speaker 5: dating this little yellow boy out because his little eyes

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Speaker 5: can change. Because the dogs kill people eyes stay the same.

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Speaker 5: So we don't even know what dog chocolate man. I'm

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Speaker 5: telling you, Shereley, dark kill people's eyes don't change color.

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Speaker 6: It'll be too much. You shouldn't have been here.

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Speaker 5: Have him coffee with some fine dogsky and chicken in

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Speaker 5: her eye change color.

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Speaker 6: You gotta get him out of here.

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Speaker 5: That potic guy, that polic guy.

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Speaker 6: She fits to be stepping out your TV when you

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Speaker 6: get home. You need to get your out of this ulter.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a natural flirt.

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Speaker 5: Not tolerated because I know if he ever left me,

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Speaker 5: the woman with sending here right back to me. Oh

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Speaker 5: so you got somebody don't nobody won't, but you would

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Speaker 5: just let it go into hell right here. Here's the problem.

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Speaker 5: And we're gonna get to this when I come back.

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Speaker 5: He's not a manly man outside the bedroom. What oh

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Speaker 5: hell no, we come back, all right?

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Speaker 3: Deal?

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Speaker 2: Hold on, yeah, hang on, Steve.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response to today's Strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter at twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject

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Speaker 1: he wants to be seen but not hers. We'll get

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Speaker 1: back into that right after this. You're listening Steve Hardy

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Speaker 1: On Steve Let's recap Today's Strawberry Letter, the subject is

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Speaker 1: he wants to be seen but not heard.

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Speaker 5: So this woman got this man that don't nobody else

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Speaker 5: won't seem like to me.

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Speaker 6: They've been together nine years.

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Speaker 5: She forced him to marry him, but an ultimatum and everything.

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Speaker 6: And then you know he thinks he.

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Speaker 5: God's gift cause his eyes change colors. Like I said,

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Speaker 5: I bought my grandson a transformer, do the same thing,

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Speaker 5: just because his eyes changed color.

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Speaker 6: And then we come to the conclusion that he must

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Speaker 6: be a little.

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Speaker 5: Light scared boy, a little yellow boy, because dark skinned

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Speaker 5: people eyes do not change colors. It'll be too much,

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Speaker 5: it'll just be shocked. You're sitting over there sipping your coffee.

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Speaker 5: She looking over the edge of the mug, and all

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Speaker 5: of a sudden her eyes go green. You got to

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Speaker 5: get the hell out of him, because, like I said,

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Speaker 5: the poet, the guy, you got to get the hell

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Speaker 5: out of here.

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Speaker 6: She possessed.

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Speaker 5: And now he's a natural flirt, not tolerated because I

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Speaker 5: know if he ever left me to win, and we're

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Speaker 5: sending him right back to me. So now you got

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Speaker 5: somebody don't nobody won't, but you we left off right here.

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Speaker 5: Here's a problem.

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Speaker 6: He's not a manly man outside the bedroom. Oh boy,

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Speaker 6: you got.

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Speaker 5: A man that ain't side and that ain't a man

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Speaker 5: outside the bedroom. So now you just got a big old,

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Speaker 5: a big old what they call it a man child.

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Speaker 2: You got a man child.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, he a man in the bedroom and he baby

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Speaker 5: hughet out. The bedroom just got a dipole. Look like this,

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Speaker 5: an egg with a dipole. You hit that big giant

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Speaker 5: duck named baby hughe. But he a man child in

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Speaker 5: the bedroom. He could really show out in that bedroom.

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Speaker 5: But after that, it's like having a child who won't

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Speaker 5: that after a while, you're gonna understand that you're letting

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Speaker 5: a baby climb on you.

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Speaker 6: That's what you're gonna realize in a minute.

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Speaker 5: See right now that the man child parties big, but

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Speaker 5: then his baby hughey outside.

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Speaker 6: After a while, you're gonna baby hewet that you make

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Speaker 6: in love to take your dive off.

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Speaker 5: Baby, come on in here and lay down in water,

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Speaker 5: clean yourself, or you come in.

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Speaker 6: That's what it's gonna start getting to.

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Speaker 5: All he cares about is getting the latest trendy clothes,

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Speaker 5: getting the newest watchers or sneakers, and keeping his car

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Speaker 5: clean and shine outside looking in. He got his stuff together,

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Speaker 5: a boy or boy, he's trifles. He's got a great job,

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Speaker 5: and he's in a leadership position. Now listen to this

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Speaker 5: right here. But his matter talks to him like a

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Speaker 5: child and don't allow him to speak up and make

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Speaker 5: his opinions known. His managers even told him that he's

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Speaker 5: not paid the thing. You know, as soon as I

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Speaker 5: heard that, I wanted to call this job and speak

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Speaker 5: to his management.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so let me get this stress.

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Speaker 5: So now everybody know who he is, and everybody knows

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Speaker 5: who and what they dealing with, even you. So now

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Speaker 5: your boss know who he is, the coworkers know who

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Speaker 5: he is, and you know who he is, but you.

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Speaker 6: The only one stuck with.

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Speaker 5: But I had to realize he's my husband and not

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Speaker 5: my son. Why do you even have to say that, Yeah.

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Speaker 6: He's my husband, not my son.

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Speaker 5: I want him to focus less on how clean he

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Speaker 5: is when he goes to work, on more how he

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Speaker 5: represents himself when he's at work, and the same thing

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Speaker 5: going for our man. And that surely made a good

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Speaker 5: point him. I need him over our finances. Suppose he

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Speaker 5: don't know nothing about financial up keeping the house. He

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Speaker 5: probably knows something about that, because you know about upkeep

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Speaker 5: on himself, maintenance of our vehicle, all the manly stuff

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Speaker 5: in the marriage, y'all. Keep you keep asking this boy

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Speaker 5: to be a man when he ain't. He's a man child.

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Speaker 5: He's baby Hewett. He'd a big up with.

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Speaker 1: The diaper on, not saying that he is that when

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Speaker 1: she married him, he baby Hewett.

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Speaker 5: Look up to the old cartoo baby Hewett, a big

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Speaker 5: duck with the big lips. Put the diaper on, big lifts.

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Speaker 6: He'd rather be. He's seen and heard in every aspect.

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Speaker 5: Of his life. He's been nine years and I'm done

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Speaker 5: enabling him. Should I be playing a life with this man?

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Speaker 5: Or let this one go? Now? I think the bigger

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Speaker 5: question is is he planning a life with you? You forced

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Speaker 5: him in the marriage. Of course he did it because

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Speaker 5: he a little boy. Mama say I got you mad?

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Speaker 5: I got you mad?

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Speaker 6: So now are the Boston told him? Shut up? He

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Speaker 6: paid the thing. He shut up. He out there washing

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Speaker 6: his car right now, put some new sneakers on. He

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Speaker 6: cleaned his hair, and here go to my eyes.

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Speaker 2: There if Andy changed again to his son, what does

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Speaker 2: each color mean?

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Speaker 5: He's sunny outside, see like if it's daytime, his son,

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Speaker 5: his eyes is a blue, turn into a blue. Thenner

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Speaker 5: to get into the evening. They turned, oh great, they

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Speaker 5: just he's good.

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Speaker 6: Then when we get through in the morning. I got

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Speaker 6: to wash him and brush his teeth so he can

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Speaker 6: get it.

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Speaker 5: And then he gonna go down there and try to

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Speaker 5: leave you better sit out, you old meal before you

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Speaker 5: go to work, and each your finish show owe me

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Speaker 5: before you go to work.

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Speaker 6: And then he can climb sometime.

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Speaker 5: Then he gonna run out to the house and get

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Speaker 5: into the get your back put.

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Speaker 6: You gonna leave all his stuff at work.

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Speaker 5: And then I got to see him all right here.

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Speaker 5: And then I got to go out there and set

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Speaker 5: his GPS so he don't get lost on his way

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Speaker 5: to work, you know.

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Speaker 6: And then he go down there to the work.

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Speaker 5: And then he climbed out the cow smelling all good

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Speaker 5: and wouldn't be gonna rule. I liked him, but three

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Speaker 5: women that send this back to the house. And then

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Speaker 5: Boston told him he can't make decisions on his job. Lady,

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Speaker 5: you want to quit enabling him.

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Speaker 6: Stop all right.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Ham.

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Speaker 6: You better enough gett know about baby Hughet. You'll get

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Speaker 6: you some dafted dupe.

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Speaker 1: Get you some black Strawberry Letter. Be Strawberry Letter podcast

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Speaker 1: on demand. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show,